I know she won’t be perfect every day, but she will try her hardest to smile even if she just cried for a few hours.
She’s an ocean of worry and the only lifeboat that might appear is you.
She will smile when it matters,
when it counts.
Please, don’t take her for granted.
She is no longer a flower,
I made sure of that.
I ripped through every petal
searching for soil
that we once stepped on,
I tried to search for the seed
of love at first sight
and I’m sorry,
I scratched the veins and she
will probably wither in your palms.
She no longer acts crazy,
I made sure of that.
I judged her for who she was
and who she wasn’t.
She won’t show her true colors yet,
she’s testing you,
you’re on trial.
She’s watching you,
and you’ll feel like
there’s gasoline in her saliva
and her kiss might be the spark
to set you on fire.
She won’t spam your text messages,
she won’t write you cute letters,
she won’t write short stories,
and she won’t blow up your phone.
I made sure of that.
I know you won’t love her on some days, I know she won’t always be kind when you whisper a slick remark, I know she won’t enjoy long walks because she’s always exhausted, she’s always too tired and she won’t always be fun, but you have to bear with her,
be gentle with her,
be loving to her,
be the net for her stomach butterflies,
be the cloud to hold her tears,
she knows how to come around.
Some days she might be emotionally destroyed because of something I said to her a few years ago, I’m sorry about that too.
Some days she might be smiling from out of the blue and it might be spring and you’ll ask, but she won’t tell you. I’m sorry about that too.
Some days she’ll be clingy, wait, she might be like that all of the time, shit, I’m sorry about that too.
You see, emotional and physical trauma comes in many forms and the people we tend to love can hurt us in the most messed up ways.
I was that person,
don’t be that guy.
Don’t pick up poetry,
you’ll make her cry.
Don’t have sex with her just to have sex with her, don’t. Notice her smile, notice the way she undresses her blossoms, take notes of the way her lotus tattoo breathes into your skin, pay attention to how her slow breaths can spell out your name, don’t be caught up in the euphoria of the sin, be caught up with her body language and how she wants you to feel and it’s not that simple to move her heart, you must pay close attention to that one detail, do not let her stray, watch her eyes, grip her hands and speak lightness into her ears.
Anyone can have sex,
not everyone can make love.
That is a truth I had to learn
after five years with this person.
And some days she’ll cry,
and she’ll cry, and she’ll cry,
and she’ll cry, and she’ll cry,
and she’ll cry, and she’ll cry.
Dude, it’s that time of the month again.
Fucking hug her. Send her cute text messages. Give her belly-rubs. Bring her food. Give her fruits. Watch a show with her. Kiss her cheeks. Kiss her forehead. Kiss her fingers. Kiss her hands. Kiss her palms. Kiss her stomach. Kiss her arms. Kiss her lips. Kiss her heart. Kiss her soul. Kiss her.
And if that doesn’t work?
Hold her. Hold her body like you were the big spoon made for her. Hold her like the stars grip the night sky. Hold her hands like her fingers could feel safe when they trace their owner’s name into your back. Brush the tears from her cheeks and make sure they don’t get away, make sure she feels that you care. Grab her heart and let her know that you love her even if all she did was cry today about how random she’s being, how emotional this shit got and how real it got. Make sure you let her know, let her know that she is loved.
You don’t have to be like me.
You don’t have to write a thing.
You just have to love her.
Love her like how I couldn’t.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to treat her perfectly.
You don’t have to be amazing.
She just has to feel amazed.
And I know, you’re probably thinking, what do you know? You’re just an ex-boyfriend, there’s a reason why she left you. Hey, wake up. Don’t be selfish. This isn’t about me or you. This is about her. You listen real good here, some people aren’t meant to be together for all of eternity. It doesn’t happen. It doesn’t. We change. This is how you love her right. Treat her with respect, love her ways even if it doesn’t make much sense, and I know she might set you on fire and I know she might make you passionate about everything, but that’s how she is.
A sapphire among rubies.
A cloud in the volcano’s steam.
A sunset swimming in the ocean.
A rose in a garden of forget-me-nots.
A blood drop in a glass of water.
A tear drying on lit cigarettes.
A fox howling with wolves.
A heart found near the river bank.
A girl who just wants to be loved.
And I know she isn’t perfect,
I know she won’t always be yours,
I know she won’t be the best,
I know she cries a lot,
I know she isn’t from magazine covers,
I know she can be a handful,
but I promise,
if I know one thing.
One thing at all.
It is that she is worth it.
Please, make her smile because she didn’t smile enough when I held her, because she didn’t feel loved when I kissed her, because she felt used and I’m to blame, because she deserves happiness and well, so do you.
This is how you love her
and what’s that famous quote?
i’ve written a lot of fics (i think) (sort of) so i decided to make a masterpost of them. i’ll make new ones in the future as i write even more, of course, but these are the fics i have now - hope you enjoy them! all my fics are tagged ‘fics’ on my blog if you want to find the full list if i haven’t updated this for a while xx
hope - baz comforts simon in their kitchen at two in the morning
intoxicated - a very aggravated baz has to help a drunk simon back to the dorm
snow - disclaimer: i did not note the pun until five seconds ago. written for carryonsecretsanta‘s advent calendar 2015, simon and baz and christmas and fluff etc
kiss for luck - au in which baz is sick (i know he can’t really be sick but protective simon is adorable)
honourary big brother - in which i spell ‘honourary’ with an u and autocorrect refuses to accept it. also in which simon stays over at the pitch mansion for christmas and meets mordelia. inspired by askmordeliagrimm and asksimonsnow because they’re lovely people
secrets, stars, and aero bars - the first carry on fic i actually wrote wrote (not the first one i finished and posted). basically in Fangirl Cath writes a snowbaz fic called that and an excerpt is included and i just wanted to see how and if i could expand that excerpt
midnight - new year’s fic. in which simon and baz dance around their apartment, because i wanted to write them dancing around their apartment. very very fluffy tbqh
come morning light - inspired by the lyrics: just close your eyes, the sun is going down. you’ll be all right; no one can hurt you now. come morning light, you and i’ll be safe and sound - taylor swift, safe and sound
movies - simon and baz and their movie-watching habits
it must be chemistry- potential future chaptered fic. maybe. in which i make a really good awful pun to myself in the title. normals au - simon and baz hate each other and then they get assigned to be partners for a project in chemistry class. (i never said i didn’t like a little bit of cliché here and there.)
natural- tiny fic. more like a paragraph tbh. first time baz tells simon “i love you.”
porcelain - tiny fic as well. baz comes home late and simon stays up to wait to see him
midterms - again,tiny fic i need to write longer fics i stg. au: simon and baz are normals, and friends. baz is still pining over simon, and simon remains oblivious. basically fifth year, but friends.
in pieces- simon’s parents argue. simon escapes to baz’s house when he can’t stand the yelling. it’s not exactly fluff but there’s no direct angst between simon and baz so i guess here it is (i really need to make more categories for this)
text- zero narration, only dialogue. simon can’t sleep and texts baz about it.
precious- based off this quote from Fangirl: “Kissed. Cath loved that word. She used it sparingly in her fic, just because it felt so powerful. It felt like kissing to say it. Well done, English language.”
silhouette- more normal!au. basically the same au as midterms
meet- simon and baz meet through playing pokemon go
eureka- based on the quote ‘everything is starting to make sense.’
mistletoe- written for carryonsecretsanta’s advent calendar 2017; simon and baz find themselves under the mistletoe
end in burning flames or paradise - my first ever fic (i nearly didn’t post it) (in which case i wouldn’t have this fic list right now) simon and baz fight and it gets really really bad
chapter 61 - my second ever fic. basically chapter 61 in simon’s pov
burn bright - alternately titled ‘i love parallels as well as natasha and baz together so i wrote this thing’
i wish - also written on a very bad night. it’s very short so the only thing i can say is angstaNGST ANGST kind of
all this driving is driving me crazy - i was feeling the feels on chapter 61 day 2015, so i wrote a thing. alternately titled ‘what baz said while they were driving that night’ - sort of AU because i didn’t follow the book word for word
beloved - a fic i wrote for sagemeryllisbanks as part of the carry on secret santa 2015. in which baz does the ‘i’m not good for you’ thing and everything collapses.
ages- accidents happen fast. one second, and that’s all they take.
the world is spinning- simon cries when he thinks baz is asleep and baz can’t comfort him until the night everything falls apart
have faith - a fic i wrote for the carry on secret valentine for queerkat-meerkat. in which simon doesn’t deal very well with the war (because i have convinced myself that there is no way he could have just bounced back that quickly from everything)
white noise- normal!au where baz, simon, agatha and penelope are on pretty good terms, but whereas baz still likes simon, simon likes agatha, and baz has to deal with his pining (this sounds really unappealing oops)
glass- ‘what if simon didn’t deal that well with the mage’s murder’
half past five - very short, very mild angst. basically baz pining for simon
echo- tiny fic. simon and baz argue, possibly beyond repair
routine - tiny fic. the usual interaction between baz and simon in their dorm every day. baz sneers, simon growls, et cetera et cetera
fragments- “things you said when you were crying”, baz pov about simon
perspective- Once Cath had written what she thought was a love scene, and Wren had turned it into a sword fight. - Fangirl // a rewrite of text, with narration filling in the gaps between the dialogue to utterly change the interpretation of the situation
unsaid- baz texts simon and deletes drafts of messages he’ll never send
aurora - i wrote this on a really bad night and apparently people like it?? i wanted to explore agatha’s character a little bit, so this is kind of like her take on her life
scattered constellations - lucy’s watford era. i originally meant for it to be a chaptered fic but procrastination + school = almost no time so D: maybe at some point in the future though
aeroplanes- written for ask-emily-scott and ask-agatha-wellbelove based on a little au they did (basically they got into a fight and emily nearly migrated away from agatha and everyone who was there watching were freaking out)
amortentia- it’s not full angst, it’s just kind of sad and wistful. definitely not fluff though. hogwarts au which may (may) become a chaptered fic in the future?
hello - most of the time, my ships are canon, and i feel like if i ever read GTL’s Simon Snow series, i would probably be writing simon/agatha. this is my attempt at it. (also because i heard “i’m in california dreaming about who we used to be” and i went AGATHA)
quiet - penny and micah being the couple that is practically an old married couple already
block- also counts as snowbaz fluff, although i didn’t originally intend for it to turn out that way. parallels wren being there for cath and baz being there for simon.
chaptered fics (i am so slow at updating though)
night lights: chapter one // chapter two - baz just moved into a new apartment and his kitchen window faces the kitchen window of the guy next door, and they both keep drinking coffee at ungodly hours of the morning.
burnt-out stars: one // two // three // four - hamilton inspired. the mage’s plans eventually lead to simon’s downfall, and lucy finds out
two roads: one // two- pre-snowbaz baz thinking about what would happened if simon and baz take hate over love and vice versa
mini fics (aka me getting all excited and adding unnecessary small fics to the ends of tumblr posts)
(x) penelope uses simon says every once in a while on simon and she and baz watch him do one silly spell before it’s all gone
(x) ‘which one of your otp is the one to die and which is the one to sit in the middle of the street, holding their dead body, rocking back and forth, screaming “come back, come back, come back”?’ ‘it could go both ways’ and then me and thepessimisticasshole got a little too obsessed
(x) asksimonsnow and askbasiltonpitch have had to name too many children on tumblr
(x) thepessimisticasshole accidentally got lotion in her hair and thought of “she’s got her hair pulled back in a giant frizzy ponytail that would probably be nice and wavy if she’d put any product in it at all. anything. hand lotion. shaving cream.” and i added on to that
(x) daphne making puns about baz’s name to get simon to eat basil when he stays over
(x) “hc that simon can’t go to bonfires or really be around fire in general anymore because the smell of smoke basically makes him relive christmas 2k15″ “wait what if baz smoked and tried to quit it for simon but simon found out on a bad day”
(x) inspired by that excerpt in Fangirl: “Shhh.” “I just-” “Hush.” “I worry-” “Don’t.” “But-” “Simon.” “Baz?” “Here.”
patrochilles "you always come into the coffee shop where I work in neon booty shorts during your morning run" au
I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY VERY QUICKLY
patroclus dropping the three cartons of milk he’s holding the first time achilles comes into the shop because he’s bending over to pick up the lid he dropped when patroclus is coming out of storage and wow no real life people definitely don’t have asses like that that’s definitely not a thing patroclus is totally not seeing stars wow is it hot in here or is that just the steam haha briseis? how many fingers are you holding up? haha
achilles being prepared for patroclus to butcher his name the first time patroclus takes his order but patoclus spells his name right on the first try and when achilles sees he gets all smiley and then even MORE smiley when patroclus points to his nametag and says he has a weird name too. and of course achilles says patroclus’ name is beautiful and patroclus totally starts stuttering when he tells achilles his total (while briseis gags her way into the next century from behind the pastry case)
the first cold day of the year achilles is still in those shorts (which should be illegaL BY THE WAY patroclus is going to start a petition he may be pre-med but he would consider law school for this case alone) and patroclus asks if maybe he should cover up so he doesn’t get a cold and achilles just smiles like he knows something patroclus doesn’t and says “there’s someone’s attention i’m trying to catch” AND CUE YOUR TYPICAL PATROCLUS “HE HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE OF COURSE HE DOES LOOK AT HIM” MOMENT
the best part about patroclus thinking achilles has a crush on someone else is achilles having to kick his ploy to catch his eye into hyper drive. like achilles starts doing stretches in the coffee shop and starts turning up without a shirt on days when the weather allows it, and he leans really far over the counter when he’s ordering from briseis so that patroclus, who is cleaning the floors around the sitting area, really has nowhere else to look please be real this boy is so dumb achilles is so dumb i hate him his seduction tactics are so weak they only work bc he’s so hot i hate him he needs to go
AND THEN WHEN ACHILLES FINALLY ASKS PATROCLUS OUT HE DOES SO by coming into the shop all out of breath and he walks right up the counter, points a finger right at patroclus and says, in the most defeated tone, “ok please have dinner with me tonight because i’ve been trying to ask you out ever since i accidentally messed up my trail three months ago and wound up here this shop is 8 miles from my apartment i am not a distance runner and while this has been great for my calves, i really would rather kiss u than continue to kill my lungs”
My friends and I always discuss, rather heatedly, where we think some of the characters come from in the series since backstories aren’t provided for many of them. So here is what we tend to think:
Seba Nile: Although we originally thought he could be of Roman or Italian descent, the etymology of his name is Hebrew in origin and so he could be placed anywhere from Israel to Central Europe
Paris Skyle: Because of his first name we believe everyone’s favorite elder prince hails from Greece, around Paris’ time as a human this was a popular Greek name although it is less common today
The Harst Brothers: Given that Harst is a German surname we think that Vancha and Gannen could be of Germanic descent, although a variation of the surname “Hurst or Hearst” leads back to an older English surname so it’s up to debate
Vanez Blane: The Games Master seems to have a Spanish influence through his first name, but this ends when combined with his surname Blane; he is most likely of Latin descent and could be from Spain, Argentina, Venezuela, or any other number of Spanish speaking countries
Kuda Smahlt: Given the spelling and sound of our map maker’s name we believe he is of Scandinavia although deciphering whether he is from Sweden, Norway, or Finland isn’t possible my bet would be on Finland more so than Norway but his name spelling would also fit with many Swedish names too
Arra Sails: Miss Sails is most definitely of English descent, the etymology of her surname traces back to England and is actually recorded in Cheshire on Court Rolls dating back all the way to 1260
Mika ver Leth: Although we originally thought that the prince of darkness could be of English descent his surname “Leth” is a well known German surname, first found in Hamburg but it’s also traceable to the Holstein region maybe this is why he’s so serious
Arrow: Unfortunately I’m at a sore disadvantage when it comes to the very lovable Arrow simply because I cannot use his name to find the etymology, or root, of his name; my first instinct would be to eliminate most Asian regions because of his tattoos, in most Asian countries tattoos are either frowned upon or illegal, I might say Africa because of the tattoos and their placement but his attitude and mannerisms are staunchly westernized so it rules that out my best guess would be Europe but the origin of our beloved bald prince eludes me
Larten Crepsley(aka my husband): We are both divided on the origins of the orange haired charmer wavering between French or English descent, the spelling of his name leans more towards a French origin but a small detail in Larten’s Saga points towards England; in his hometown Larten mentions an Inn that has a certain type of blue glass that is only found where he lived as a human, Bristol Blue glass was being produced around that time and had a patent on it meaning it could only be produced in Britain
Gavner Purl: Unfortunately I am again at a disadvantage, after reading SLC *spoiler alert* Mr. Tiny names Gavner and so I can’t exactly trace his surname or use any spelling or pattern to figure out where he came from, that being said since he was raised by Alicia in Paris, France I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Purl would fancy himself a Frenchman :)
It’s a morning in July that Derek wakes up in their sunlit bedroom and realises he’s deliriously happy. He knows why it’s this day – it’s July 5th. The windows are open and there’s a breeze blowing through their curtains. The smells of coffee and bacon are wafting from downstairs, and Will’s hair is tickling Derek’s chest. One of the cats is lying on his leg, the other on the small of Will’s back.
It’s July, so Will doesn’t have to teach classes at the college. He wouldn’t let Derek pay off his student loans, but he had let him pay for grad school, which made Derek happy. Derek’s publisher tends to get mad at him in the summers because Derek can’t be assed to work very hard since summers are the time he really gets to spend with Will. They’re also the times Will spends planning out his lectures and syllabi, particularly for his class “physics for English majors” which Derek has been reliably informed usually start with a comment that yes, he knows how to explain complicated science to humanities people since his husband is Derek Nurse – yes that Derek Nurse.
But getting Will up in the summers is next to impossible, so Derek has to play on the fact there are the smells of cooking coming from downstairs.
“Babe, you’ve gotta get up,” Derek says, kissing the crown of Will’s head. Will shakes his head, tightening his hand on Derek’s hip, effectively digging the metal of his wedding ring into Derek’s flesh. “No, come on, the kitchen’s on fire.”
“Good, I wanted to remodel it anyway,” Will mumbles.
“No, come on,” Derek says, sliding out from under his arm and standing. Either the cats or Will hiss at him. He can’t be sure.
Derek pulls on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants and throws another at Will.
“I’m serious about remodelling the kitchen,” Will says, finally deigning to sit up and put on something more than boxers.
“I know,” Derek says.
“No, don’t say ‘I know’ in that tone of voice,” Will protests. “That’s the ‘I know, Will, you’re going to start a project and then never actually finish it’ voice. That’s the tone of voice you used before you gave me complete control of the garage.”
“Who me?” Derek asks, grinning at him.
Will narrows his eyes at him and slumps down the stairs to the kitchen. Derek actually kind of likes their kitchen, especially when it’s full of food like it is right then. There’s a plate of bacon, a stack of waffles, and a fresh pot of coffee.
“Waffles?” Derek asks, raising his eyebrow.
“Pancakes require too much finesse,” Ainsley replies, hopping up onto the counter and drenching her own stack of waffles in syrup.
Derek nods and doesn’t laugh, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He also has issues with pancakes (Will despairs at both of them for it) but he had hoped Ainsley would get Will’s cooking skills.
He’s pretty sure the day she turned up on their doorstep will be forever burned into his brain. It was just a normal day, Will had just got home from the college, he was working on his latest novel – a spy novel because why the fuck not (“Because you’re a romantic slice of life writer!” his publisher had exclaimed in despair before actually reading the rough draft and quietly rescinding his statements) – and they had just sat down to dinner when there was a knock on the door.
It had taken a moment for him to recognise Ainsley, since it had been eight years at the time. She’d also shaved half her head, tortured the rest of her hair to stick straight, ringed her eyes in heavy black liner, was wearing chipped black nail polish, and all black clothing. All she had with her was a backpack and a pair of hockey skates slung over her shoulder. Derek wouldn’t have been overly concerned with her fashion choices – he’d seen pictures of both Assumpta and Snowy when they were teenagers – except that Ainsley was thirteen at the time.
“Hey babe?” Derek had called back into the house while he and Ainsley simply stared at each other.
Will had joined them in the doorway, before gaping at Ainsley in shock.
“So you guys are gay or something, right?” Ainsley had asked.
“We’ve been made, grab the go bags,” Derek had said, taking a sip of his wine. Will had smacked him in the arm and brought Ainsley into the house.
Ainsley hadn’t explained her presence, just sat on the living room floor and let the cats crawl over her. Derek had been the one to call Granny. She’d been relieved that they knew where Ainsley was, since apparently Colin had kicked her out after he caught her kissing a girl. Since Jamie lived across an international border and Assumpta had kids of her own, Ainsley had come to them. She’d later confided in Derek that they were actually her first choice, and she’d just told Assumpta and Jamie that to spare their feelings. Shitty was the one who dealt with the adoption paperwork, and then Derek just kept him on retainer for the sake of the fact he happens to be a fairly successful novelist. That was four years ago, now.
I’ve been seeing a lot of icons of this precious volleyball manager and it completely careened me from what I was originally doodling (more volleynerds) and pushed me to do my first real livestream (it wasn’t a dream) and my hands are still shaking from how nervous I was (but everyone was so nice, so great) and I don’t regret a single moment of it.
(Is it possible that I’m drawing too many volleynerds? That I’ve overstayed my welcome in this fandom? That I should roll out? No? Okay, good, because I think I’m in way too deep to stop now, oop.)
Nickname: Obi (Hates anyone besides Aly calling him that)
Species: Enderman cyborg
Likes: Magic, mining, exploring, teasing, the taste of blood
Dislikes: Water, sunlight (to an extent), humans, most everyone
Personality: (Before accident) Bit brutish, but much kinder than his current personality. (Current) Much more aggressive, seemingly uncaring towards everyone/thing.
Appearance: Grey skin, pale in comparison to most enders. Forked silvery tongue. Visible ender pearl. Wears a periwinkle and cornflower blue colored scarf.
Background: Once a normal Enderman, who took a strong liking to magic after watching and befriending a witch. He learned a few spells and how to make a few potions while staying with her. One day while the witch was out gathering materials, Oberon took one of her spell books and tried to practice a spell that was much too strong for him. It backfired on the ender, tearing him apart.
The witch returned to his ravaged body and found that he was still alive, but barely. In despair for her friend, the witch used magic to stabilize him and molded new body parts out of iron to replace those too damaged. Then she used a spell to cover the new parts with a layer of fake skin to help it look normal.
Oberon slowly recovered from the event and many years later decided to go his own way. After leaving the witch he decided to remove the skin hiding the iron parts to show everyone what he really was.
Extra: Many many years before his accident, and during the great human ender war, Oberon encountered a very young human girl named Aster. He couldn’t bring himself to harm an unarmed human, and ended up befriending her. Aster called him “Obi”, being unable to pronounce his name at the time.
One day a human raid happened upon the two. The humans attacked Oberon, trying to rescue the girl, but she ended up being killed while trying to protect her ender friend. Oberon came to despise humans after that fateful day and slowly became more aggressive towards everyone.
Relationship to Aly: Aly is the only human Oberon cares for because she reminds him so much of the little girl. At times he almost believes Aly is the young girl. He also allows her to call him “Obi” for this reason, but no one else. Oberon is very attached to her and often refers to Aly as “his human”.
Some of the scars of the war are subtle–the way people pause after a certain name is said, the flinching at green-colored spells. Other scars are far too obvious, like the scars on Io Baptista’s face from when the Carrows caught her, a fourth year Slytherin, passing crucial intel to members of the Order. And some scars–in fact, far too many of them–can only be seen at night, pitiful, alone in the dark, where no one will ever find out.
Blast From The Past - "Carol Had So Much Hope For That Baby"
*TWD Season 3 “Say The Word” 305
TWD is pretty consistent with making sure that even the bleakest periods of these people’s lives are punctuated and uplifted with little moments of hope and light, that try to lift up their spirits and their drive to keep going. One could say that these emotional interludes amidst the devastation and death are the very reason why the group continues to fight and keeps believing in that elusive something better, something more for their futures.
This particular scene is a great example of exactly that kind of moment.
The aftermath of the deaths of Lori, T-Dog and possibly Carol, left everybody shell-shocked and broken down as they were once again reminded that the illusion of safety the prison provided wasn’t as “safe” as they believed it to be.
To make matters worse the tragedy had brought Rick to his knees and edge of insanity, which left the group in disarray as they all scrambled to do their part in maintaining what they still had left.
The situation was bleak to say the least but the fact that Lori’s baby survived in the middle of all this, was a flicker of hope they all desperately clung to.
The discovery that the baby survived and the realization that it needed baby formula to make it without Lori, had acted as a pause button on not just their grief but the very processing of the reality of what had just happened to them. Her birth was as miracle and the way they all pulled together to make her a priority shows that they understood that very well.
Maggie and Daryl returned from a run with baby formula AND to almost everyone’s surprise Daryl took it upon himself to hold and feed her right away (gulp!).
The sheer intensity of his need to get away from the prison, away from reality and the avoidance in his gaze in this scene, paired up quite well with the eagerness and enthusiasm he put into grabbing the baby and the bottle to feed her. You almost got the sense that the whole thing was a dramatic distraction technique and that Daryl simply NEEDED to do something, focus on something else…so he didn’t have to think or feel the pain and longing that would come crashing later on in the tombs.
For a few fleeting moments the sounds of the new life he was cradling in his arms made everything that was painfully hanging in the air disappear. Everything seemed okay for a few blissful, almost hopeful moments.
Once the issue of finding a name for the baby was brought up and a traumatized, timid Carl started to speak, the spell broke and as he started naming the women they had all lost, those names started to progressively hurt worse and worse…leaving the last three hanging a little longer than the others for that final blow.
You couldn’t help but notice the slight wince and flinch across Daryls face as Carl poignantly looked at him and finally said the names Daryl dreaded the most…
There was no mistaking who those two names were hurting the most and the shadow of anguish and grief in Daryls expression was unmistakable.
Carl was a child but an observant, grown-up one AND he knew who Carol would be grieved the most by, which is why he hung his head after he looked at Daryl and said her name. They had all lost their friends and their “deaths” were hurting them all but Carl knew who Carol’s loss would affect the most because he knew that Daryl and Carol had “something” different from the rest of them.
He had seen how hard Daryl tried to find Sophia, he saw Daryl shielding Carol the day his little friend walked out of that barn and he probably witnessed many moments between the two of them during their time on the road that indicated Daryl and Carol being close.
He knew who Daryl would miss the most.
Just like in that deleted scene Maggie knew that Daryl was the one to give condolences to after Carol’s “death”.
That was validated later on when Daryl went to visit Carol’s “grave” alone to honour it with their flower - the Cherokee Rose AND when he broke down alone in the tombs after finding Carol’s knife with Carl.
Carol was Daryls “something” and Carl saying her name out loud and giving Daryl that small glance when he did it, was his way of saying “I am sorry you lost her too.“
The last name Carl could barely mutter…Lori.
The mother this boy had just put down, the mother he had so many regrets about but most importantly the mother he loved and the mother that loved him.
With the names of their dead hanging in the air, the blanket of pain, longing and so much grief began to suffocate the room and threatened to consume all the emotional regrets each of them was struggling with.
The spell of joy the baby lulled them in, was now completely broken.
Despite the haunting pain shadowing his face Daryl was still not ready to face what and who they lost just yet so to deter the grief that would still be there to hurt them later, he quipped his own suggestion for the flicker of hope in his arms - Lil Ass Kicker.
That was Daryl’s gift to all of them that day - postponing the tears that would mourn their dead later and refocusing their hearts towards the gift of life that survived against all odds and was now one of the biggest reasons why they had to keep fighting.
In the deleted scene Daryl had said to Maggie that Carol “had so much hope for the baby”.
With her now gone, it was up to them to keep that hope alive and nobody knew that better than Daryl himself.
When it came to evil, there wasn’t much that could stand in the way of Zoey Proasheck.
It was said in the ancient books of time (or if not there, at least in the ancient trashy romance novels of time, or the ancient newspaper side advertisements of time, or, well, somewhere) that enemies ran screaming in the opposite direction when they saw even a flash of her red hair on the horizon; it was rumored that ruling families from three different empires owed her life debts. No one who had met her was left with any doubt that every story told was true.
What If: Killian knew the was the Dark One all along?
@scapeartist posted about how it would be PHENOMENAL if Killian had been playing everyone this whole time and always knew he was the Dark One. Like, what an amazing twist on top of a twist that would be?
Not only would it be super fun it would also explain why he didn’t notice anything this whole time and just all of a sudden changes completely the minute he finds out.
Now, obviously, we know that’s probably not case, he may be playing them in 5.10 and 5.11 but it’s very unlikely he’s known this whole time.
That doesn’t mean it wasn’t super fun to think about and I’ve outlined here, exactly how it COULD BE possible almost scene by scene: (This is long but it ended up being extremely plausible? I was really surprised)
Most of Killian’s actions so far have been about one thing: Find out what is Emma up to.
His first words to her when they return are “Why are you doing this?”
He also expresses a vague desire to help her but help her what?
He says “I want to help you.” In the woods in 5.08 but his primary interest seems to be finding out what her end game is.
Other than the TLK attempt he doesn’t actively indicate in Storybrooke that he wants to get the darkness out of her.
He indicates that he wants to “save the woman he loves” which we just assume is the same thing.
He spends the first few episodes gauging Emma. How far gone is she, is she really Emma, where is her head at, etc. It’s all very calculated on his part in regards to their interactions.
First, he goes to Belle to find out information on the TLK: why it didn’t work for her and Rumple, exactly what happened, what are the mechanics.
A TLK is a great tool to finding out where exactly Emma’s headspace is: if it works she’s willing to give up the darkness and she’s not a threat he only had his own darkness to deal with. If it doesn’t work that’s evidence that he has that she wants or needs the darkness, and he needs to find out for what purpose.
It’s also just a super effective way to make her believe he genuinely doesn’t know anything. Not only that but maybe a part of him hopes it works, more on that later.
The minute they arrive in her (their) home he starts investigating. He immediately goes for that locked door.
A lot of us assume it’s because Excalibur was calling to him, but it could be because he was specifically looking FOR Excalibur.
Emma distracts him, he kisses her, it doesn’t work, he determines she’s still a threat. He plays up the shocked and disappointed angsty lover angle and leaves to regroup and plan.
The next time we see him he is approaching Robin Hood about the locked door. He wants to get to Excalibur, he knows Emma may have protections in place so rather than retrieve it himself he uses others as proxies.
Let Robin Hood bear the brunt of any magic protection, right?
Killian is a pirate who broke into a castle fortified by the Evil Queen, I think he can manage a Victorian in the suburbs. Why did he go to Robin?
On their ship he is detached and cool, he questions her, again wanting to know her plan, her endgame.
HE is the one who picks up the sword she needs to rouse Rumplestiltskin.
It just happens to be laying around nearby despite it not being the one he primarily uses.
HE is the one who repeats the story that contains the confirmation that this sword is the one she needs.
At this point we know Belle already had the spell necessary to wake Rumple based on her conversation with David and Arthur in the shop, she knew the ingredient she was missing. It stands to reason she could have also told Hook as they are known research buddies and she was the last person we saw Hook with prior to his entering the diner to see Robin.
He knew what ingredient the Dark Swan needed and he made sure he explicitly provided it to her while letting her think she was the one manipulating that situation.