too many vitamins

expectant dad!Calum would include
  • him passing out when you told him you were pregnant even though you’d been actively trying for a baby
  • leaving him to wake up from the kitchen floor with the pregnancy test on his chest so he can figure out what happened
  • tearing up with a huge calum smile on his face when he chokes out ‘we’re having a baby hood then?’
  • blocking calum from all of his social media accounts for weeks because you know fine well that he will spill the beans too early
  • sitting his and your parents down and making them watch the video of you both at the doctors that calum filmed on his phone
  • my baby’s having a baby’
  • buying too many vitamins for just one pregnant woman so now he’s practically running a drug cartel
  • the bump would finally be visible on your abdomen, first noticed when your husband would feel it under his hand one morning
  • ‘babe you need to wake up, someone has decided to shoooow’
  • putting up an instagram post with a picture of that stupid turtle babygrow he bought, with your due date and a love heart as the caption
  • reaching a certain stage in your pregnancy where seeing him, especially topless and laying in bed looking up baby names, turned you on
  • ‘cal, you know how you said you’d do anything for me and the baby?’
  • him having no problem helping you out with your sexual needs
  • ‘anything to keep my babies happy and healthy, right?’
  • Calum crying at e v e r y hospital appointment
  • keeping the gender a surprise, with him using that excuse to buy plenty custom made band onesies
  • blowing raspberries on your swollen belly in the hope that the baby will kick
  • ‘NOTHING GOES WITH HOOD, our child will be nameless’
  • finding it oddly sexy that you can eat the same amount of food he usually does and more
  • laying in bed talking about the future
  • ‘I hope our lil bean knows we love ‘em, cause they’re the best thing that’s happened to us’
  • him spending the afternoon in the nursery, sweating in the summer sun as he pieces together the complicated crib
  • realising its all worth it when he sees you singing one of his songs to the baby as you flick through a magazine in the living room, making passing comments on how ‘your daddy wrote this song for me’ and, ‘i’m sure he’d write one for you too one day’
  • the baby kicking ALL NIGHT against calum’s back because if you have to feel uncomfortable then dammit so should he
  • ‘i hate your child, calum hood’
  • you’re welcome’
  • calling the baby ‘lovebug’ or 'bean’
  • Thinking you’re a goddess with your new baby body
  • Calum going to sleep every night with the view of you curled up next to him, bump protected by your hand which flashes your wedding ring
  • I’m the luckiest man alive’
  • Nobody being surprised when Hood junior arrives exactly 9 months after your husbands birthday

oh my god i have drunken six cups of fruit smoothie this day, my guy
i think i’ve clipped through the boundaries of life and floated into the stratosphere
i just love fruit SO MUCH you guys
i’m SO FUCKIN HAPPY that now i can consume more fruit on the daily
just fuckin bury me in blended avocadododos
i consumed a whole fuckin 500g bag of mixed frozen fruits over the last 24 hours i think if its possible to die from too many vitamin i am already dead
C O N S U M E  P O T A S S I U M

anonymous asked:

how do u picture emison as moms, and all the other girls

Emily- really really anxious. Did I give our baby too many vitamins?? Fuck Ali, we ran out of diaper rash ointment

Ali- laid back, always encouraging Emily. Really affectionate with her lil baby, always comparing the baby to Emily.

Aria- kind of grossed out with how baby shit smells but, hey I made this baby in my uterus that’s cool af

Hanna- this is so great!!! When can we have another?

Spencer- I love this baby more than I love myself. ORGANIC BABY FOOD

the price to float

heavy dark wet as kyoko drags me
down down down to a place I don’t know,
lost soul orbs float here,
I can see my true reflection in them,
I look like a squashed sentence,
I look like a rainbow of clashing colors,
I look like leftover ceremonial wax,
but I see that I can finally float,
I smell fresh cut grass and
I hear my brothers voice,
he says he wants to be a parade or
Godzilla when he grows up, then
he eats too many chewable vitamin c and
his mouth foams while he watches TV,
I see my childhood home where I
first remember seeing apparitions,
I always thought I was meant to
help lost souls with love but now
I see I am one of them too
and love can’t save me