(( Sooo…I love to play around with the idea that Mark has a lot more influence over what happens to the egos then they themselves do, so take my little alternative idea on how the Host became the Host ))
Their relationship had always been push and pull, ever since
their first meeting when he had gone by “the Author”. Nothing was given without
something being taken at the same time, and it worked for them both, until the
fateful day when the Author died and the Host was born.
Then, Dark became a more permanent fixture in his life.
He was an ego that understood what the Host was going
through. Before this, there had been so much thought put into his character, so
much care taken, and then, for the space of a short video that never went
anywhere, that was all taken away and replaced. Dark had lived a similar
experience, constantly reimagined and mocked, designed and torn to pieces
however their creator saw fit.
When his eyes disappeared, and his powers changed, the Host
knew he needed Dark.
So, he went to him, stumbling while muttering his
surroundings to himself, unaware and not in control of this new power of his.
Everything was overwhelming, all his other senses increased by his lack of
sight, and sounds were the worst.
In the end, Dark had to come to the Host.
He found him in an alleyway, near to the home the other ego’s
shared. Dark always seemed to have a knack for knowing when people wanted him,
it was something the Host had never understood. The grey ego didn’t speak as he
pulled the Host from the floor, his aura – ever changing but always ringing –
introducing him instead.
It was warm inside the house and several egos were talking at
once, accusing Dark of mutilating “the Author”, and hands were grabbing at him.
The Host flinched at it all, shrinking in on himself as much as he could. He couldn’t
do this, it was too much. There were too many people, too many things going on,
too much just too much.
A cool hand touched his own, and Host recognised it as Dark’s.
Silence had fallen around them and they were walking. Someone was walking with
them, breathing heavily but otherwise silent, and it wasn’t until Dark had opened
a door and led Host through it that talking started again, slower, calmer and
quieter for his benefit.
“What did you do?”
The one with them was Dr Iplier. Host looked around, trying
to identify where his voice was coming from, still muttering muted words to
himself that seemed deafening when compared to how quietly the doctor had
“I did nothing,” Dark replied calmly, “I found him this way.
You know I cannot permanently alter the appearance of an ego…there is only one
person who can do that.
Dr Iplier did not say his name, but the three egos gathered
knew exactly who Dark was referring to. Host had a feeling that the name was
banned in the house.
“Author, I’m going to take a look at your eyes.” Doc said quietly,
and his hands replaced Dark’s. He was warm to the touch, with calluses and short
nails and Host could smell the clinical scent that came from being close to him
a lot stronger than any of the other times he had met Dr Iplier.
“The Host has a new name.” He murmured.
Dark and Doc startled as he spoke, Host could sense it. He
hadn’t used to speak this way, and it had shocked them.
“The Host?” Doc questioned, “Why did you change your name?”
“He didn’t.” Dark said, his voice low with barely contained
Silence fell again, heightening the tension in the room further
as Dr Iplier examined the damage to the Host’s eyes. He eventually wrapped a
bandage tightly around the wounds and told the Host he was going to prescribe
him some medication to help fight against infections, and that he needed to
come back every day for the wounds to be monitored. The Host did not properly
respond, too busy speaking quickly all that was happening, navigating his way around
Doc’s words and the room.
The cool hand touched his again, and the Host happily
followed Dark from the room.
“The Host…the Host needs Darkiplier.” Host whispered as he
was led down another corridor. “The Host does not understand what to do.”
“This was careless of him.” Dark snapped, louder than he
intended and the Host flinched. “I’m sorry. He shouldn’t have done this to you…Host.”
“Darkiplier will get used to the Host’s new name.” Host
murmured, “In time. But the Host feels lost.”
“You will.” Dark sighed, “You’ve changed so suddenly, and in
such a big way. But I’m going to help you.”
The Host’s guts twisted strangely at Dark’s words. He knew that
Dark would be the only one who could help him, the only one who understood the
dangers they faced as egos. But there was a warning inside him not to trust the
grey ego too much, and for too long. Dark was changing too, becoming an idea that
was nothing like the Host had ever seen before, and not something he thought he
would ever want to actually see. How much Dark could help him would remain to
“What does Darkiplier wish of the Host in return?” He asked
softly. Dark wanted something, whether he knew it or not, the Host did.
Dark blinked and glanced at the Host as he sat him down on a
soft chair and surveyed the damage. “Loyalty I suppose. Your word that you will
help me fight back when the time is right. If you ever had a reason to help me
in return, it’s this.”
“The Host will consider. Darkiplier will offer his services
before the Host gives his word.”
“Of course.” Dark agreed, “You should rest. You need it.”
It wasn’t something the Host could argue, he was tired and
felt pulled in too many directions at once by all the changes. All he knew at
that moment in time was he needed Dark’s help, but he was going to one day
regret asking for it.
"We don't block abortion clinics and guilt women trying to enter, we stand on the side of the road and guilt women trying to enter"
Sidewalk counselors who have been properly trained don’t guilt women. We offer them alternatives to abortion and the resources they need to make those alternatives feasible. Most importantly, we let them know that it’s not too late to change their mind. Many women feel that once they’ve made the appointment, it’s too late, even if they have doubts. I know many sidewalk counselors who have reported women changing their minds just because someone told them there was still time to do so.
How do I start losing the weight? These past few months I've been trying to lose weight but I just can't get past day one and give in to binging. I use to be able to exercise daily, drink more then my required amount of water, but ever since I fell off the bandwagon I can't seem to get back on. Any tips you can give me?
The mistake I always make is trying to make too many changes at once, so I’ll try and eat under 1200 kcals per day whilst drinking a tonne of water and going to the gym five times a week. It just doesn’t work.
Make changes gradually, so maybe start with your water intake, then add in healthier eating and exercise. You’ll soon find that things become habit and you’ll find it easier to lose weight.
Are there any Izuocha discord servers you're aware of?
I did join one a long time ago that was pretty active for a while, but then it just…died. I’m honestly not a big fan of discord because they’re too many people talking at once, the conversations change so fast, and you never really know where to come in.
so i saw that anon about autistic Hamadas and quite literally i slammed a door open eager to share pieces of my own Autism AU hah
bear in mind this is primarily Hiro k and these are somewhat based on my own experiences too as an autistic person it’s kind of a massive word duMP SO R RY
Hiro is diagnosed at an early age, somewhere between 1-2, and was brought in for testing after an incident in which the Hamada parents think they lost Hiro and go searching for him outside in a complete panic, only for Tadashi to call them and tell them he found Hiro in a closet playing with some toys at home, which was the first place they had looked.
It takes Hiro a long time to adjust after the passing of the Hamada parents, because too many things changed at once, leading to almost three months of sporadic meltdowns over the parents no longer there, an entirely different home/environment, and Aunt Cass hates that she can’t help because she’s entirely new to the idea of raising kids, let alone a kid with a mental disability.
Hiro hates the cafe at first, the constant noise of the coffee machine and blender and people entering and leaving added with the normal traffic outside is far too much for him to process and deal with.
Hiro always starts to cry when something made of glass breaks due to the occasional fast-pace of the cafe, which eventually just turns into discomfort at the sound when he gets older.
Hiro doesn’t speak until he’s four, and previously before that is what is known as the dreaded Screaming Game.
Screaming Game is as follows: Hiro walks up to either Tadashi or Aunt Cass (eventually branches to others if he’s familiar with them long enough) and simply shrieks. If he is not answered back in turn, he’ll try two more times before he starts to have a meltdown
So there are only two outcomes to this game, neither desirable.
Either an hour with back and forth shrieks and screams with Hiro smiling, or an hour of shrieks and screams with Hiro crying.
Even after he starts to talk he doesn’t like to speak very much and it takes a lot of coaxing to get him to speak words.
A therapist suggests using hand motions/ASL to help him with talking
Hamada parents used to sing a lullaby to Hiro with added ASL as a part of his night routine, which Tadashi starts to do himself after they pass
Aunt Cass starts a routine of waking the boys up and saying ‘Morning noodles!’ and Hiro cries one morning when she forgets to say it before they leave for school
Hiro likes pressure on his back and shoulders, but absolutely hates it when pressure is applied to his arms
He has a particular thing with texture and food, he hates pretzels due to the dryness when eating them, hates bananas and mashed potatoes due to the mushyness when eating them, and peanuts/peanut butter bcs of how dry the nuts are when chewed and how sticky the butter is (he discovers the texture stuff after being told of his allergy and is all like ‘alright i have a good reason to never want that stuff in my mouth again’)
Hiro has a massive interest in robotics which leads to him growing super interested in mathematics/science and such
even though he’s incredibly skilled with those two subjects, he could care less about english and history (like when he graduates from high school he literally forgets what all he learned english/history wise besides basic knowledge bcs he just remembered all that stuff to pass)
Hiro started school from an early age, at first it was just preschool to follow along a program for autistic people but is placed into elementary once his intellect is realized at four
It sometimes got a bit messy with Hiro skipping grades and having an IEP along the way too and lots of debates with Aunt Cass and the school about having an autistic kid walking around in a high school when by age he should be entering middle school and his refusal to talk at first
Hiro hates social situations, and as a way to get him to work with it he’ll work around the cafe when he turned 10
Hiro actually grows and adapts a long way, becoming the nerd we all love.
Hiro can’t process things well when frustrated, and in turn will try to release it by either hitting his head or pulling at his hair
When he was younger he was consistently hurting himself this way because of his constant frustration to constants changes (other changes as listed previously, now added with going to school and having to socialize everyday there)
At his age in the movie he hardly ever gets frustrated enough to hurt himself (with rare instances such as when he brainstorms about an idea for the showcase)
Hiro is pretty familiar with ‘no more’ in ASL (first two fingers and thumb come together for ‘no’ and fingertips all coming together while moving in for 'more’)
Hiro didn’t realize that he would be expected to go to college until he was 12 and entering Junior year. He panics and isn’t sure what Aunt Cass or Tadashi will think if he says no
So when they bring it up he’s an anxious mess but firmly states that he really doesn’t want to go to college
Tadashi is kind of put-off bcs he was really hoping they could go to college together, but Aunt Cass helps him realize Hiro’s position
Ideally Hiro has been in schooling since he was 2-3 (started preschool) and while he is of high intellect he’s still just a kid that’s learned and experienced a lot more than normal people in about 10 years, and his autism is a whole other thing to put in all together so really they don’t blame him for at least wanting a year away from any sort of formal education
When he first got into bot-fighting, Hiro was primarily anxious because he didn’t want someone to recognize him as 'that weird kid that works at the Lucky Cat Cafe’ and doesn’t want to be treated different due to his mental disability
Luckily nobody recognizes him, and becomes less and less anxious about going to bot-fights, to the point where he develops almost a separate personality he falls into when there
When Tadashi finds out he is baffled that his socially anxious brother would willingly go to these places
Hiro can’t bear to tell him that it’s the one place he actually feels 'normal’
Hiro can hold a conversation with a stranger if it involves something within his interests
So when he goes to the students labs at SFIT and sees all of the work going on around him he’s firmly in an element that he loves and can talk with the people there
And the fact that he mainly talks and meets Tadashi’s friends keeps him at ease
Baymax was created by Tadashi as primarily a healthcare companion, but also included a database of mental disorders and illnesses so he could be a better companion to those such as his brother and people with things like dyslexia, depression, down syndrome, angelman syndrome, ptsd, and many more
There’s a separate healthcare file for Hiro detailing his autistic tendencies, including his sensory issues, warning signs to a meltdown, and scans of the official documents when he was first diagnosed
Hiro can be blunt at times, especially with compliments (one time when they were out getting groceries, Hiro saw a sumo wrestler and told him he was 'the biggest, most coolest guy he ever saw’ and Aunt Cass didn’t know what to do besides say 'excuse us’ and book it out of there with the two boys in tow)
Hiro stims with the robots on the shelf by his bed when he was younger, and now that they’re on the shelf he’ll put them in random orders when he’s restless or needs something mindless to focus on when his senses are overwhelmed, like by color or size or shape
(*bows to you and your actual experience* Please, please add to this AU. I myself am not Autistic, so I am happy to let you add, as your additions are going to be way better - and way more accurate - than mine.
Also man, I didn’t realize that some of these things could point to Hiro having Autism in canon. After all, all of this is pretty much fitting with the movie, right?)
I can’t imagine making too many drastic changes to my blog.
I’ve only remade once.
I’ve had this URL for at least a year. I’ve had this same theme for four years and this monochromatic aesthetic for about three.
being chronically ill is being a fucking scientist. you have no choice but to learn how to isolate variables and you’re constantly doing experiments - except the lab is your own body. like, if you change too many things at once, you’re gonna have no idea why you feel sick(er) the next day(s)…but keeping things the same doesn’t guarantee anything either because how can you tell which thing has been the same for too long when things flare up? so you end up having to do all these micro-experiments every day hoping that your worse case hypotheses are disproven…
So I saw my new psychiatrist on Friday. He actually seems okay. I was really nervous, because male psychiatrists have been really gaslighting in the past. But he seems to believe that all of my issues are legitimate.
He made some med changes. I’ve been having some minor hallucinations, so he doubled my antipsychotic. He also restarted me on Zoloft, and I’m going to be coming off of Cymbalta entirely. He was talking about starting me on lithium, but he didn’t want to make too many med changes at once.
I’m happy with these changes. Really, they’re ones that I knew needed to be made. I’ve been having some really deep, dark times lately, and I’m hoping this will help pull me out. I’m cautiously optimistic.
Finally got around to making myself a Gemsona (not really a gemsona since I’m a guy but-). I tried to make the art style as Steven Universe as I could, but I probably failed haha.
She’s a white court gem, with a high administrative station in Home World. Moissanite’s role is to “clean up” any renegade gem from the other Diamond courts in any successfully established colony and complete their assignment. When not on assignment, she is a guard captain.
Her weapon is an always-present set of adamantine blades that make up her “cape”. When activated, these blades detach and can be controlled remotely by Moissanite.
Her blades are extremely versatile, being able to form shields/walls, swords, an axe, steps, and levitating transportation platforms.
True to her close diamond properties, She uses a baguazhang-inspired battle style, using the blades to slice opponents around her like a tornado of razors or defend. Her offense and defense are absolute, but she can have a hard time switching between both. When attaching or defending she’s extremely hard to take down but her openings are in between stance changed and complex movements. Too many targets at once can keep her on her toes, which is why she deals with singular opponents.
When activated, the blades are imbued with the colors of the diamonds. Since she’s much more refractive than a diamond, these colors intensify with her mood and level of exhaustion. The more pressure, the wilder the array of colors she exhibits and the more dangerous her attacks. She is prone to fast surgical strikes when at full energy and keeping on the defense, but when near defeat her attacks become extreme and defenses become obsolete to her.
Brittany was still a little groggy from her short nap in the car as she and Santana ascended in the elevator to the 10th floor of the Soliquin Hotel and Spa. But that didn’t stop her from reaching out and grabbing the older woman’s hand with her own. The other was gripping her medium sized luggage bag. The drinker down was nice. Peaceful. It took a little over an hour with traffic but was filled with great conversation and background music.
Brittany had been a nervous wreck earlier in the morning, taking 3 hours to get ready and changing her clothes too many times to count, but once she was with Santana…nothing else but the getaway mattered. They talked about their families and growing up and a lot of other things. It was nice to see this side of Santana. So animated and open. She ingrained the image in her head. When they arrived Brittany was in awe, just the lobby was grand, decorated with gold and red shades all over.
She was pleased when Santana checked them in and referred to her as ‘Ree…’ she wanted to be Rihanna but Santana wouldn’t give in on the matter. The elevator door opening on their floor pulled her out of her reminiscing and she reluctantly let go of Santana’s hand. The silence was calming. The room was only a few doors away and when Santana swiped her key and moved to allow Brittany in first, Brittany smiled shyly before entering.”Holy…shit…” she spoke quietly as she entered, letting her luggage fall where it may. She looked around at the suite and then back at Santana with wide eyes.
“Santana….this is…” she looked over at the huge bed, then turned suddenly towards the jacuzzi in the room. If she wasn’t in shock she may have cried. She briefly wondered how much all of this cost. Across the far end of the room the wall was covered in large windows, the view was spectacular. “This is…amazing…” she hushed. She walked over to the bed, running her fingers along the silk blanket folded at the bottom. Brittany turned to Santana with the biggest smile on her face. “You’re gonna have to drag me out this place….thank you so much.” A few quick strides and she threw her arms around Santana’s neck pulling her in for a tight hug.
They didn't just spit on her character. They threw her in the trash, spit on her, steamrolled over her, then piled a dump of crap on her. Now they're doing the same to Digg and Felicity just to prop Laurel and Ray and I can't stand it. In episode 12 Digg was sidelined while Felicity was OOC just to prop Laurel. It's like the writers don't know how to naturally integrate her as BC. and here I am wondering why she has to be BC right now. I liked Laurel. But now she's just problematic. ughhh why
I don’t understand what they’re doing with Digg at all. He starts off wearing the hood and it’s like, yeah, okay, I can get behind this. John is skilled! He’s awesome! He’s been here, fighting this fight, longer than anybody else on this team. I love Roy, he’s coming along as a fighter and a sidekick, but John is one of Oliver’s partners (in the platonic sense and not the Olicity-partners sense, lol). John has seniority and he has serious training behind him. But they repeatedly make him seem less skilled than he actually is and it’s like why???
I get it. Roy is a good hero-in-the-making and Laurel is up-and-coming, but they go back and forth on Laurel’s skill level. Sometimes she’s really up there and seems to have it down pat, and other times she barely knows how to block a hit coming at her and you can actually see her hesitating. She’s untrained and so not field ready. You know who is? John. Always. And he wants to be out there. He deserves to be out there.
Felicity’s character is so up and down this season. Sometimes she’s really strong and focused and then it’s like her entire understanding of the people around her and this world she’s living in pivots and she changes direction. It’s too many things happening at once. And her character is suffering for it. Her and Oliver, her and Ray, her and this team, her apparently being friends with Laurel, her cheerleading for Laurel to be the Canary and Ray to be the Atom despite having good reason to think that this superhero thing is really freaking hard and if someone like Oliver and Sara, both of whom are incredibly well trained, can barely do it some days, or have died from doing, why would she think these two amateurs could??
Look, I love Laurel. I think she could be an amazing character and BC in time. But she’s not ready yet and it feels like they’re trying to push it into being and write off Sara as nothing more than a footnote in Laurel’s journey. I’m not here for that. I want an organic fucking story for Laurel that makes sense and isn’t built on the bones of her sister.