too m uch

bc i’m trash here are some more things to think about!!

  • thomas tying james’ hair before he goes out, and james pressing his neck back against thomas’ hands when they brush his skin. thomas chuckles and keeps telling him to hold still, but james loves hearing him laugh so he never does
  • james grabbing thomas’ hand after sitting down in their carriage right after the beginning of their relationship, laughing sheepishly at thomas, unsure if he likes it. but he quickly learns that thomas does like it as he gives his hand a squeeze or shows him one of those soft smiles he loves so much
  • after they break out of the plantation, they go for long rides together, take breaks sitting on places overlooking the sea and talk for hours about the long years they were separated that should never have happened. there are things they share that feel like too much for a single person to contain, things they don’t know how to make right
  • james confesses he was never able to properly grieve for thomas, and thomas just gives him this look full of compassion and sorrow and love, and he doesn’t say anything but kisses him so gently, lips trembling. james doesn’t ask, lets him kiss
  • thomas tells james about the times he’d wanted to give up, back in bedlem, back in the plantation. tells him that the tiniest chance of james returning was what kept him alive. james doesn’t know how to respond, but he doesn’t have to. he holds thomas in his arms and rubs his back and that’s enough for them
  • james tells thomas about how much he hates who he has become, and thomas asks him “had you not become who you are now, would you have survived?” james is silent for a long time before answering with a quiet “no” so thomas says “then i’m glad you are who you’ve become, james.” and james meets his eyes and he knows it’s the truth. “thank you.” (he feels a little better for now)