Thor: DO NOT FIGHT THOR ODINSON. He will barbecue you like shrimp in Australia. Even without his magic hammer of destruction he will crush you like the trash you are. Plus why would it want to fight Thor?? Have you seen him?? Whatever
Black Widow: Ha. hA AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH she’s probably on her way to your house to kill you for even thinking about it.
Hawkeye: I mean I guess you could?? But why?? You’d have to go through the trouble of destroying his bow and arrow before hand and even then he’ll probably still destroy you with his ridiculous skill set?? I take it back, don’t fight Hawkeye.
Captain America: what the fuck is wrong with you
Hulk: I’m going to say this once. Don’t fight the Incredible Hulk. If he’s in nerdy Banner form go the fuck ahead. Fight Bruce Banner. Get him going on a tangent about the periodic able or some nerdy shit and just destroy him. Be careful tho bc you run the risk of a code green. Proceed with caution when fighting Bruce Banner. Run if he starts growling and turning green.
Iron Man: Get Tony Stark in an isolated room with no electronics whatsoever for him to make some gadget like the piece of shit he is. Once he’s away from his precious technology, destroy him. Fight Tony Stark like the ridiculous white man he is.
Loki: you make the first move and you end up in bed with him. Age, sexual orientation and gender identity have no relevance. So go ahead, try to fight him.
Quicksilver: I mean ??? Why???? Is that really necessary?? Even if you wanted to, if you took a friggin step towards him you’d already be knocked to the ground and he’d be halfway to Mexico??? Pls don’t fight Pietro Maximoff
The Scarlett Witch: you’re already dead
Nick Fury: why. I don’t see the upside to this. The possible outcomes of a fight with Nick Fury are: 1) you’re dead or 2) Nick Fury is injured. Just- don’t fight Nick Fury.
Ultron: Fight Ultron. Fight him. Who gives a shit if you’ll destroy the world in the process. Fight Ultron.
The Vision: who cares. Fight him, don’t fight him, we’re all gonna die anyway