tony's peculiar

Tony: We won’t fail again. We’ve had a hundred days to figure out what went wrong. Turns out all we needed was a bigger reaction!
Bruce: A bigger reaction? Last time you blew up half of the tower!
Tony: If you must fail, fail spectacularly!

3 days left until Avengers Assemble, Season 4! Here’s a thing I wrote.


There are still pockets of smoke speckling the pavement, but the danger is past. Little by little, people emerge from their makeshift shelters, dodging the holes in the ground and the small piles of debris, going on with their lives. A few look up, wave at them. Steve, perched on a ledge a few stories up, returns the greeting.

“A good day’s work,” Tony says, taking a seat next to him. From up close, the scratches on his suit have become actual dents, an inch shy of permanent.

Steve considers the state of his own uniform and lets out a puff of air. “So I hear.”

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Top 10 7 September 

Man oh man do I wish i had been able to get to 10 this month, but it just wasn’t meant to be I guess :/

Oh, What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks?- humane, T, Chose No Warnings
The one in which Romeo and Juliet try to hate each other. On principle. Or, well, okay, because their daddies told them to.
Or: “Fuck.” says the second son of House Æsir, scrambling to shield his eyes from the blinding ray of light coming through his window. “You toothless slobbering Bigelsnipe, Stark!”
Quite frankly this was adorable, and it was a great twist on the R&J trope as a whole.

Journey to the Past- melonbutterfly, M, No Warnings
Loki doesn’t know why he feels the urge to go to Midgard, but it’s strong enough that he, when a stranger offers him free passage in exchange for his pretending to be lost Prince Loki of Asgard, doesn’t hesitate for long.
He really has no idea how much his life is going to change.
Dudes,, this was amazing,,, and damn sweet as well. Not just because there are donuts in here a lot either

better to burn than to fade away- AzulticSerpens, E, Chose No Warnings
Loki takes it upon himself after visiting Thor on Midgard to stay longer and find what was so enchanting about its inhabitants. He stumbles upon a most peculiar man. Tony Stark.
Tony just wants to forget his disastrous birthday party and follows the suspicious Natalie Rushman’s advice: “I’d do whatever I wanted to do…with whoever I wanted to do it with.”
Tony Stark is not going to die a whimpering failure. He’ll do anything to stop it, even if he burns himself in this affair with the tall, dark, and handsome intriguing Loki.
A great take on what could have been, imo.

The Affairs of Wizards- plumadesatada, T, No Archive Warnings Apply (Alcoholism and a subsequent detox are described in detail here)
Imagine a world where people born with the ability to manipulate magic are forced to choose between being second-class citizens and working for the government in what amounts to modern slavery.
Tony Stark, playboy billionaire genius, is the CEO of the world’s number one manufacturer of Anti-Psionic technology, like his father before him, and his grandfather before that.
Loki Olson, a warlock raised by the staunchest supporter of anti-magic regulation, dreams of a better future where he no longer is a fugitive hunted by the government, and works to make it happen.
Then their paths collide.
This is a story of change, personal growth, friendship, love, and, most important of all, hope.
This is the story of a revolution.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING THE WHOLE MONTH (AND CHANGE) TO LINK YOU GUYS TO THIS FIC HOLY SHIT IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING.

This Treacherous Terrain- arabmorgan, G, No Warnings
In which Tony looks for aliens but an alien finds him first (and he doesn’t even realise).
Dudes this was fucking adorable and I loved it so much

Fortune like the Moon- lucius_complex, Not Rated, Underage (Kinda? Ish?)
A contaminated well is drained, but the hole in the earth remains. Somewhere a god is reborn, bereft of sight or memory, and idles the years away in dreams of being filled.
This was a study in thoughts, honestly, and it was amazing. (Also, past stony, mentioned in the beginning of the story.)

String Theory- lashworthe, M, Major Character Death (But also not)
It’s 136 years since Tony Stark died, taking with him all the secrets of his genius. Loki Ruser is the new up and coming genius who buys up the old Malibu home of Tony Stark to discover its secrets. He gets more than he bargains for when he discovers the Iron Man design plans, and a sentient hologram of Tony Stark himself. Eventual mature content.
Guys, babes, dudes this was probs one of the best fics I’ve read from this fandom, and I am so glad it got mentioned in the frostiron discord server so that I could read it. This one and ‘The Affairs of Wizards’ were probs my faves from this month.

chibiesque  asked:

I try my luck ;) I'd really love a short cross-over with tiny Steve and Captain America Steve (maybe from Toasted Buns or every other universe you like :) )

You got lucky! :D 

Title: Steve Versus The Multiverse 3/3: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes
Rating: PG
Summary: This is the weirdest world yet.

Yaaay, I have finished the Ten Prompts! I hope you guys have enjoyed them. (Clock, I couldn’t incorporate Armored Adventures but I gave it a shout-out anyway. :D)

Continued from Part Two.

***

Steve was getting uncomfortably accustomed to not recognizing himself in the universes he’d visited. 

This was the third Steve Rogers in as many worlds to come from the forties, to be tall and broad where Steve was small and wiry. In theory – he’d ask some Tony or other at some point to do the math – there must be billions of worlds out there where he was young and small; he was perplexed as to why he hadn’t visited any of them. If the first Tony’s theory was right, and he was getting closer to home with every interdimensional hop, surely he ought to meet a smaller Steve sooner or later.

This Steve had a strangely small head. Not – not freakishly small or anything, but compared to the rest of him, particularly his shoulders, his head was like a breadbox sitting on a king-sized mattress. Steve tried not to stare.

This world’s Tony was peculiar as well.  Steve’s own Tony had blue eyes, and so had the first other Tony, but this one’s eyes were almost metallic, the color of polished copper in the sunlight. He had crazy hair, too, cut in a widow’s peak like he’d never quite achieved escape velocity from the 90′s. 

Some universes seemed to have lots in common – always a Steve, always a Tony, usually a Rhodey and a Sam, often a Natasha. But they had variants too, like Wanda in the last universe and, in this universe, Janet. 


Steve liked Janet. She’d busted into the lab while he was explaining himself to a very perturbed looking Steve and Tony, insisted that they were being rude to a guest, and dragged him upstairs to the kitchen, where she’d stolen a sandwich from Clint (such things carried heavy consequences in Steve’s world) and settled him at the kitchen table to eat while she told him jokes.

“So then, Clint said – “

“It’s a farmer’s tan!” Steve finished, and Jan laughed. “That happened to us, too. A slightly different setup, but basically the same.” 

“You must miss home,” she said, a sympathetic look crossing her face.

“Yeah, I do,” Steve agreed. He looked down at his food, suddenly not that hungry anymore. “I’m not sure I’m getting any closer. None of the Steves I’ve met look like me.”

“But I bet they act like you,” she said. “Stubborn and surprisingly sarcastic when you get past that apple-pie exterior.”

“Not sure I’ve cultivated the apple-pie part yet,” he said ruefully. 

“Well, Steve once had his serum drained by Loki,” she said. “Have you met Loki?”

“Only the one in my universe. Sounds like the kind of dick move he’d try.”

“Wow,” she laughed. “Hearing Steve Rogers say ‘dick move’, that’s new. Anyway, he looked a little like you, but not nearly as cute.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“You should. If you didn’t have to get back to your own universe I’d say we should keep you.” 

“Well, you are the first universe to feed me,” Steve said. 

“Hey Tony,” Jan called, as Tony slunk into the kitchen, looking guilty. “He followed me home and I fed him and now he won’t leave.”

“Don’t look at me, you’re responsible for walking him,” Tony shot back, pouring himself a cup of lukewarm coffee. 

“This is making me a little uncomfortable,” the other Steve said. The fact that the cleft in his chin seemed to run all the way down to his Adam’s apple was making Steve a little uncomfortable, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Relax, I’m working on a dimensional transducer,” Tony said. “Given that we’ve checked you’re not a Skrull and the worst thing you seem to want to do is eat Clint’s food, which I’m for, by the way, this is karmic payback, I’m going to take you at your word that you’re in some kind of dimensional flux. If I can pin down the details, I should be able to slingshot you home from here.”

“I appreciate that,” Steve said, straightening and looking him in the eye, strange as it was to see those copper eyes in Tony’s face. “It doesn’t…it doesn’t feel like I’m getting closer.” 

“Well, come down to the workshop when you’re done and I’ll try to explain the theory to you, so that if you leap before I finish it, you can explain to the next Tony how to get it done.” Tony sipped his coffee. “How does it feel to be saved by Tony Stark in every conceivable universe?” 

“Don’t give him the satisfaction of answering that,” the Other Steve said, resting a hand heavily on the back of Tony’s neck. “Jan’s right, it must be hard for you. Come find me if you want to talk. Or if you don’t, because that’s weird, don’t feel you have to.” 

“I’ll see you in the workshop when I’m done eating,” Steve said to Tony, who nodded and left, taking the carafe of coffee with him. 

“He means well,” Jan said.

“Which one?”

“Well, both, really,” she replied. “So you don’t know me at all in your universe? What’s that like?”

Steve smiled over his sandwich. “Believe me, when I get home I’ll look you up. I like your style, van Dyne.” 

*** 

He spent the afternoon trying to wrap his head around the theory of the machine Tony was building for him, still upset that this universe didn’t seem to be any closer to his; given everything, it seemed even further away. Eventually he stopped trying to comprehend it, and instead just started memorizing key phrases and the general drift of the technical drawings. Tony seemed pleased with how hard he was trying. He was nice, this Tony Stark, kind as his own Tony and more polite, but Steve missed his Tony more with each passing hour. 

All the Avengers (so he guessed the Avengers Initiative had a pretty good chance of succeeding) were really welcoming at dinner, even the Hulk, but he was grateful that Jan had taken him under her wing, deflecting the occasional curious look and keeping the conversation light. After dinner, she and Clint challenged him and Natasha to a game of Scrabble, which devolved into storytelling about their respective universes until Steve began to yawn. 

The guest room they gave him was bland but nice, and Steve had hoped he’d drop right off, but once he was in the quiet and the dark he found it hard to sleep. He wondered if the other Steve had trouble sleeping too; he wondered if the other Steve had been honest about his offer to talk. Then again, the other Steve was him, and Steve never made offers like that unless he meant them. 

“JARVIS, can you show me to Steve’s room?” he asked, and a light-path blinked its way along the hallway. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Agent Rogers,” JARVIS said. 

“You know, we have a JARVIS too,” Steve told him, as he followed the lights down the hall and up a flight of stairs. “It’s reassuring to hear your voice. The last two places didn’t have one. So I guess that’s something.”

“It’s pleasant to know there are other versions of myself protecting other Tony Starks,” JARVIS said. 

“I know the feeling,” Steve said. The lights came to an end at a door with a pair of little desk-top flags attached to it; one was the stars and stripes, the other was what Steve assumed to be the Avengers logo, an A with an arrow emerging from the crossbar. He knocked, trying to think of something not-creepy to say about this, and the door was opened – 

By Tony Stark.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” Steve managed, distracted by the fact that he was apparently wearing a bathrobe and nothing else. The arc reactor lit him up blue through the thin robe. “I asked JARVIS to show me where Steve’s room was, he must have misheard me.”

“No, this is Steve’s room,” Tony said, a small grin on his face. Behind him, the other Steve loomed out of the darkness, shirtless, proving that the bulk under the uniform really hadn’t been padded at all. God, his head was tiny. 

“We weren’t sure if we should mention it,” the other Steve said, possibly misinterpreting the look on Steve’s face. “Sorry to shock you. Did you need something?”

“No, I – “ Steve’s chest tightened, because – well this was the sign he was looking for, wasn’t it? The sign that this was almost his universe. The first time another Steve had actually had Tony, not just wanted him, not had someone else. “I don’t mean to intrude – I’m not shocked, he’s mine too – I mean, oh god, that sounds awful…”

Tony’s smile crinkled his eyes. “I’m yours in your universe too, huh?”

Steve nodded, face heating. 

“I’m glad to hear it. You see? A guy can get this lucky more than once,” Tony said to Steve. 

“It’s not luck, I keep – gah, nevermind,” the other Steve said. “Steve, would you like to come in?” 

“And now that I know you’re likewise inclined, would you like to come in?” Tony asked, waggling his eyebrows. 

“No, I ah. No, that’s fine, I’ll leave you to it,” Steve said with a smile. “I appreciate the offer but that feels a little like infidelity.”

“Well, I can’t promise the other me wouldn’t mind, I am the jealous type,” Tony said. “But I can leave you two to your mysteries if you need to talk to the big guy.” 

“Honestly, I think I’m all right,” Steve said. 

“Well, I’ll see you in the workshop in the morning, then, and we’ll try to get you on the express bus to home,” Tony said. Steve saw his counterpart slide a hand around Tony’s waist, pulling him back and close as the door shut. He leaned against the opposite wall.

“Oh thank god,” he muttered to himself.

“My apologies, Agent Rogers, Captain Rogers has monitoring off in his room and I was not aware Sir was there,” JARVIS said.

“No, JARVIS, that’s – that’s the best thing that could have happened to me tonight,” Steve said. 

***

Steve half-expected to slide in his sleep that night – none of his stays had taken more than five or six hours – but when he woke he was still in the mansion, and Tony was already in the workshop, waiting for him. Jan intercepted him on the way and handed him a tray filled with coffee mugs and muffins.

“To get your strength back before you go traveling again, and to make sure Tony’s lucid before he pushes the button,” she said, and kissed him on the cheek. “Good luck, Steve.”

“Thank you, Jan,” he said, giving her his best smile.

“Now that’s a Steve Rogers matinee-idol look,” she said, and pushed him gently onwards. Down in the workshop, he handed around coffee to Tony, half-buried in the transducer, and Steve, who was sitting at one of the worktables, sketching. 

“I think we’re all set,” Tony said, extracting himself and taking a muffin from the tray, eating half of it in a single bite. “Now if you don’t make it straight home, don’t worry,” he said, around a mouthful of crumbs. “It’ll get you closer, and one or two more hops should do it. You ready to go zipping through the universe like the prettiest spinning top ever made?”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Steve said, moving to where Tony pointed, falling to parade rest.

“Got any words of wisdom, as one of the only known transdimensional tourists?” Tony asked.

Steve thought about the first Steve and Tony, longing for each other but not quite within reach, and about the second Steve, terrified he’d lost Bucky and clinging to Sam’s steady imperturbability in a big, busy new world. 

“You two are doing okay,” he said. “Don’t let him run you off,” he added to Steve, who nodded. “And uh. You should do something nice for Jan. That’s it, really.” 

“Okay. Bon voyage, shorty,” Tony said, and before Steve could roll his eyes, he’d pressed the button. The now-familiar feeling of light exploding inside him was more intense this time, and Steve struggled to breathe for a few seconds before unconsciousness claimed him.

***

When he woke, he was home. He just knew it – it smelled like home, and he felt at ease in his own skin for the first time in days. 

He was lying on a hard metallic floor with Tony leaning over him, a worried expression on his face. When he saw Steve open his eyes, he broke into a smile.

“Don’t move,” he said, and Steve stayed obediently still. “Does it hurt anywhere?”

Steve ran through a checklist, the way he always did after a bad fall or a fight, when he might be high on too much adrenalin to notice pain. 

“No,” he said, after he’d finished. 

“You know who I am?”

Steve smiled. “You’re my Tony,” he said.

“Well, you seem a little loopy, but essentially fine,” Tony said, helping him to sit up. Yes – this must be his world. He was back in Reed’s lab, in the Baxter Building. 

“I think I’m ok. How long was I gone?” Steve asked, slowly getting to his feet, wobbling as Tony helped him to a chair.

“Gone?” Tony asked. “You were out for about thirty seconds, why?”

“I – strange dreams,” Steve said. The memory of them was already fading – something about meeting another version of himself, a huge man in the Captain America uniform, and – and other versions of Clint and Sam, and a Tony with eyes like new pennies…

“Follow my finger,” Reed said, elbowing Tony aside to do a standard neurological exam. Behind him, Tony held up his middle finger, imitating him, and Steve laughed. “Steve, please.”

“Sure, right,” Steve said, obediently watching Reed wave his finger, looking into the penlight Reed produced, until he was pronounced probably-not-concussed and free to go. 

That evening, curled up on the sofa in a nest of pillows, blankets, and Tony, Steve huddled down against Tony’s chest and sighed happily, glad in a way he couldn’t quite identify to be home. He hadn’t even gone anywhere. He’d just had some weird dreams.

“Hey,” he said sleepily, not sure why he was asking, “do we know anyone named Janet?”

“Janet?” Tony hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I know a Janet, but I don’t think you’ve met her. Jan van Dyne?”

“Name sounds familiar.”

“You’d remember her, Jan makes an impression. She’s a fashion designer, she does my suits when I feel like being particularly loud and beautiful.”

“That’s not all the time?” Steve teased.

“You’d really like Jan. She’s very artistic. Society girl, but fun to hang out with, works really hard, tells funny jokes. Makes a mean Sidecar. She’d love to dress you.”

“You say that about every tailor we’ve ever met.”

“It’s because you’re tiny and divine,” Tony told him. Steve smiled, rubbing his cheek on the soft nap of Tony’s shirt, feeling the reassuring edge of the arc reactor under it. 

“Do you think there are other Tonys and Steves out there, in other universes, who are in love?” he asked. 

“Mathematically, sure, if you buy the multiple-universe theories. There’s probably a universe out there where you and I are both, I don’t know, chefs or gangsters or something, or I’m a woman, or me and Rhodey and Pepper are all teenagers but I’m still Iron Man, or one where you’re Captain America, or like, one that’s totally normal except I’ve built an army of flying Roombas to keep the place clean.”

“That got weird,” Steve said.

“The point is, yes, there are probably millions of universes where I am in love with you,” Tony said, kissing the top of his head. “I’m glad I live in one of them.”

Steve sighed and closed his eyes. “Me too.” 

END

Seriously though you guys, Steve Rogers, Earth’s Tiniest Head: 

Look at this dork. *pets his stupid head wings*

Authors Note: tattoo artist Steve, hurrah! I’m also hungry.

The buzzing of the tattoo gun quickly stopped. Steve gently wiped off the newly tatted skin and looked down at his work. It was simple, just a phrase from the Bible on the back of his client with some wings attached, but he knew she’d love it. He took a picture of her back and showed her. Her glee was obvious and she almost jumped onto him to give him a hug. After the emotional fiasco and a lot of excited noises, Steve tapped some gauze gently over the tattoo and placed some plastic covering over it to keep it sterile.

Explaining the process of cleaning it with non-scented soap and not scented lotion took about ten minutes. No submerging it in chlorine or bath tub water, but showering was fine. No scratching when it started to peel, simply tap. And he encouraged her to return within a few weeks after healing so that he could get a healed shot of her tattoo as well, for his extended portfolio. She paid, gave a generous tip, and Steve saw her out with a short wave and a grin.

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