“Hey Starlight.” Peter says when he enters the workshop and kisses Tony’s cheek. Tony smiles up at him.
“I have a surprise for you.” Tony says then and grabs his board for Peter, who takes it a bit surprised.
“What’s that?” Peter asks and Tony grins.
“Gonna arrest you.” Tony answers cheekily and then grins, when Peter laughs loudly as he reads the words on his board.
“Looking way too good? I like that.” Peter says and he winks at Tony. Tony comes closer again after he took the picture and cuddles Peter.
“Well you do look stunning. I tell you that everyday.” Tony mumbles and Peter kisses his hair.
“But you really hate the snoring.” Peter sighs. They talk often about that, because Tony needs his sleep and Peter hates that he is a reason for Tony not to sleep.
“I do. But it’s alright. I mean everyone else i would’ve kicked out already. But you can’t go. Ever. Snoring or not.” Tony says and he hugs Peter a bit harder. Peter just smiles and hugs back. He loves this man so much.
“Also i don’t sing in the shower.” Peter says and Tony snorts.
“Yeah you can’t really call it singing, because it’s so horrible.” Tony laughs and Peter smacks his butt.
“I perform!” Peter says loudly and Tony just kisses him, to stop him for saying more bullshit. Peter chuckles against Tony’s lips and dips him. Tony purrs.
100,000,000,000% correct good. good. g o o d. you deserve an award. Tony Stark is my good sweet smart beautiful intelligent snarky cute lovely warm kind generous literally cuddles orphaned babies (still not over it)son and he is a lovely handsome boy who deserves the world. He is a literal ray of sunshine encompassed by a human body and I love him.
It was the
razor that got her, so innocent sitting at the top of the bag: a man’s
razor. To match the suit in the other
room, to go with the man’s watch on the table.
“Whose room am I in?”
into the mirror, both hands going white-knuckled as she gripped the sink. Her eyes were pink all around the edges, her
face blotched up red from effort. Her
hair was sticking up at all angles, in need of a comb and a bit of gel. “Who am I?” Maybe she could have thought it out faster
than the AI but one way or another they ended up at exactly the same conclusion
at exactly the same time.
“You are Tony
Just not, she
was realizing, the one that belonged in this bedroom. “Right,” was mostly to the mirror, the razor,
the suit, the watch—all things that were imperfect mirrors of things she
recognized. Like a funhouse mirror that
distorted shape and gender, she knew without asking the things were hers (or
this other version of hers, the one that was a him and kept his things in disarray). “Right,” she repeated to her reflection, “we’ve
woken up in bad places before. This is
going to be okay.”
repeated. She wet the comb on the sink
and slicked her hair back away from her face.
It wouldn’t stay that way without gel and effort, but it was good enough
for now. Once she’d managed that, she
went to help herself to some clothes she dug out of the suitcase sitting open
on a little stand. The jeans were as
soft as god-damn butter when she pulled them on, the T-shirts were soft as baby
skin. “Thank God for small favors,” she
whispered. She went back to the bed to
dig the phone out of the covers, and checked the time again. “Where’s Bruce?” she asked.
“At this time,
I have not been able to locate Mr. Banner, sir.
His last known coordinates are—”
coordinates?” Tony repeated, “what does that mean? Why isn’t he in the tower? Or the lab?
Wha—where is Jarvis?”
quiet again, the only sort of defiance an AI had against it’s bossy
creator. She didn’t sound terse (because
she could) when she came back to say (in a way that still managed to convey she’d
already said as much): “Jarvis was destroyed by Ultron, sir.”
I, too, love dad!tony! Have another!! archiveofourown. org/works/8442244 "Its all fun and games (until you lose your beard)" by franticjumpingbean. Basically just a cute little moment between tony and his kid though there is brief mention of team cap but it's not the focus
“Really for cooking only healthy food?” she asks and Tony pouts. Of course that’s a crime, isn’t it?
“Yeah? You know how much i hate vegetables.” Tony answers and pouts even harder, when Pepper starts laughing. She shakes her head and Tony has to smile, too.
“But i’m not leaving my shoes everywhere. Sometimes i have some in my office i get that, but…” Pepper starts when she looks at her picture again. It’s now on Tonys wall in his workshop and it seems like he wants to do that with everyone.
“Stop right there. Last week i found a pair of your shoes in one of my cars and i really don’t know how they did get in there. Or yesterday Dum-E found one inside of the tub and…” Tony laughs at Pepper’s face and she sticks her tongue out.
“Alright got it. But the last two crimes are just unfair. You can’t drink coffee all the time. It’s not healthy.” Pepper says and she ruffles Tony’s hair. Tony is so glad they are friends again.
“But i love my coffee.” Tony whines and he takes his cup into both hands. When Pepper tries to get the coffee, Tony turns around and hides behind his table.
“And i love it when you fill out your paperwork.” Pepper answers and she blows him a kiss. Tony huffs quietly, but smiles when he waves her goodbye.
The Winter Soldier never had anything sweet. He wasn't allowed to. So yes - Tony finds that putting a lollipop in Winters mouth makes him go from angry-angsty mess to grinning-happy-place fluffball in under 10 seconds. There is a lollipop-protocol now and Tony loves to see the officials cringe about it. Also: Natasha is an evil Nimm2-Lolli carrying enabler.
Now this is a nice ask to come back to on a Tuesday morning!
It probably starts as an accident. Something happens–something small, a wrong word, a too-loud noise–and Bucky’s features just–go slack, in that creepily empty way, and Tony panics. He’s alone in the kitchen. The suit, the rest of the team, none of them will be fast enough if Bucky goes into kill mode.
So. He just–grabs the closest thing within reach. Which happens to be a lollipop. And pushes it into the Soldier-Bucky’s mouth. Because genius and panic and lack of better ideas make it sound like a sensible option.
To everybody’s surprise it works.
Soldier-Bucky goes very, very still, and for a moment Tony is convinced he’s done for. Then Soldier-Bucky reaches up–with his metal hand–and very carefully grabs the lollipop and just–sucks on it a little. Curiously. Like he’s not quite sure what to do with it.
Tony blinks at the unexpected sight, ignores the loud footsteps of the others in the hallway, probably having been alarmed by FRIDAY.
“It’s a lollipop,” he explains, because these are apparently the kind of conversations he has these days. Soldier-Bucky’s eyes flicker to him, but he shows no outward reaction to the words.
“You’re supposed to lick it,” Tony clarifies. Very slowly reaches for another lollipop to demonstrate.
He will forever cherish the disbelieving faces of his team mates when they walk in on Tony teaching the Winter Soldier how to properly–and not so properly–enjoy a lollipop.
And well, after that Tony makes sure to always have an emergency stash of lollipops at hand. (Read: He always had one, but now he’s got a damn good excuse for it too.)
It’s worth seeing Fury choke on his coffee–though the bastard will deny it until he’s blue in the face–the first time he stumbles over the Lollipop Protocol™. It’s worth seeing Natasha having way too much fun hiding lollipops in the most unexpected places.
The hands down best part though is when they’re at a gala, and one of the guests refuses to take a hint until Bucky’s face goes very blank and he very slowly reaches into his pocket, pulls out a lollipop and starts licking it Aggressively™, all the while glaring holes into the man until the guy flees for his life.
Tony is impressed. Even more so when Soldier-Bucky catches him stare, winks and does something truly obscene with his tongue that makes Steve drop his drink and Clint whistle and yeah. Tony is definitely impressed.
Hi, I know almost nothing about Avengers Assemble but I've just caught my little brother wathcing it and I don't know which episode it was but there was a thing that left me very curious and confused. So, as a person who loves drawing Cap must have way more paintings than he has placed on walls in his room/studio, so apparently he hangs his favourites. Well, why are there so many paintings of Tony on Steve's walls??
can i prompt touch starved tony who loves any and all physical contact he has? someone puts a hand on his shoulder? amazing! someone lens into his side at movie night? the best! someone actually hugs him? omg! the avengers start to notice and perhaps do something about it?
Tony is a puppy. He soaks up affection like a sponge. (I
threw in some Bucky because I wanted sleepy, helpless Tony.) Look out for under
Natasha noticed first. She had a leg up on everyone though,
having been sent to spy on him. She’d noticed when Pepper would reach out to
casually touch him—a pat on the shoulder, playing with his hair, sliding her
foot up his calf—and Tony would look ecstatic.
At least, as ecstatic as an emotionally constipated person could look. At first
she’d thought it was flirting, and Tony was happy to finally have it
But then Jim Rhodes had stopped by and swept Tony up into a
hug that brought his feet off the ground, and Tony had made a happy little
noise that had… done something to her
heart. While Rhodes was visiting, it seemed like they were always touching,
whether it was an arm over Tony’s shoulders or Tony pressing his feet against
Happy was touchy-feely with Tony, too. Even after boxing
matches, when they were both bruised and sometimes bloody but always smiling,
they’d lean their shoulders together, or Happy would be escorting Tony
somewhere and keep a hand on his elbow. Tony didn’t even fuss, even though
usually he would bitch about not needing anyone’s protection.
1- About Tony being the Villians' Favorite: CW happened and they get access to footage of the Siberia fight and they realize that cap could have killed Tony and they're like "how dare you???? Who do you think you are???" and at this point it's not even about who is going to kill Iron Man anymore, it's because Tony is the only one able the keep up with them, he gives them a good challenge, he has the best sarcastic answers for all the villian monologue, they don't even want to harm people anymore
2- they want to fight Tony to see who has the best weapons, who is smarter (it’s always Tony) so the rogues come back and they realize something: the bad guys barely attack Tony, they go out of their way to avoid attacking Tony and antagonize team cap and when confronted with this they say “well someone has to defend Mr Stark since all his supposed friends wouldn’t hesitate on turning their backs on him for some spoiled hydra agent who doesn’t know how to control their anger but sure knows how
3- how to control their anger but sure knows how to fuck up people’s mind” (and they keep getting her name wrong, they call her wilma, wendy, marta omg i love this headcanon where no one gets her name right)
Why thank you for this brilliant headcanon, darling! (I love that mixing up Wanda’s name post too, wasn’t there one where Thor always got it wrong and played stupid? It’s brilliant)
I just really like that the villains enjoy fighting Iron Man because he’s as much of a drama queen as they are–he knows how to put on, and more importantly how to appreciate, a good show, you know? Fighting Iron Man is like playing a really challenging game of chess, where they take each other’s weapons and minions out without hesitation, but even when the king loses, he’s never actually taken off the board (yup that metaphor sucks, I apologise to every chess player out there).
And well, of course it’s also about pride. Everything is about pride. The villains who most frequently engage with Iron Man in combat obviously keep a score. They keep an eye on who gets the most hits in, who deals the most damage, who does a strategical retreat and so on. They also keep track on which Avenger is the most likely to interrupt their fun, so they know whom to take out in the beginning of a fight.
Only then one of them gets their hands on footage of a certain Siberian bunker and this shit suddenly gets serious. Iron Man could’ve been taken out (worth 150 points) by someone who isn’t even recognises as an official player and THAT CAN NOT STAND.
(It’s got nothing to do with the fact that maybe Tony Stark isn’t all that bad, you know, for a superhero. Nope. It’s all about the game and wanting those 150 points to themselves. Their professional pride is on the line here, okay. It’s not because of feelings. Feelings aren’t a part of the villain manual.)
So, they adapt. They’re villains, they’re used to it. Admittedly usually because the hero pulls some impossible stunt at the last second because they stubbornly refuse to die, but that’s neither here nor there.
First, they assign someone to keep track on Stark. It’s not a protective duty. It’s just…an insurance. To make sure no outside influence becomes a serious threat to their fun. Besides after all this time they’ve invested into fighting Iron Man, should he ever actually lose, they all agree they have earned this honour. Not some lucky upstart or fucking turncoat.
Second, certain forces need to be taken out. Officially it’s destroying the competition–a perfectly acceptable, villainous goal–, unofficially some people take their hatred for Iron Man a little too far. And when you already have to watch out for the supposed heroes, you can’t afford some crazy nutcase to pop up every time you turn your back on Stark.
Then the Rogue Avengers come back. The villains have dragged it out for as long as possible, an obscene amount of bribes have gone into ensuring the Congress isn’t too forgiving too quickly, but Stark is determined to get the Rogues pardoned for whatever reason, and that’s not a battle they can win in the long run.
And that’s a problem. The Rogues have access to Stark in ways they have not. Thankfully at least Stark doesn’t stay at the Avengers’ compound anymore. That gives them a small reprieve.
(They don’t worry. Villains do not worry. It’s not in their genetic code, nor their moral codex for that matter.)
There’s a very serious discussion about grazing the stupid compound into the ground, but in the end they decide not to do it. For one, the risk of the Rogues being granted access to the Stark Tower is just too great. For another, it’s convenient to have a return address they could graze into the ground, should the Rogues ever cross a certain line.
Next, the villains create a time table. Whereas the media used to joke about the ‘weekly villain attacks’ back in the day, there are now carefully scheduled weekly attacks for real. It helps them to vent some of their frustration, at the right target no less. It also has the added benefit of keeping the Rogues busy.
Of course Iron Man joins in on the fun more often than not, but he isn’t the main target like he used to be, isn’t singled out. If anything it’s the Rogues that are being singled out, and they always bear the brunt of the fight.
(They do not go easy on Iron Man. They do not. They have simply shifted the focus of their game. Damage dealt to the Rogues is now worth way more points than before, and since every villain wants to take the lead, it’s only rational they concentrate on the most worth-while targets. That’s all there is to it.)
The first time one of them makes Wanda Maximoff scream in rage is an accident. To their great shame it’s not even a real villain who accomplishes it, it’s a fairly new minion who interrupts the shouting match between his boss and the witch with an annoyed, “Oh, shut up, Wen–Vick–Wally, whoever the fuck you are, I’m trying to concentrate here!”
It becomes a running gag then, to never call the witch by her name, and the longer they keep the joke alive, the more frustrated the witch becomes.
(The minion gets a well-earned raise.)
Eventually the Rogues catch on. Eventually they begin to ask questions. Giving them more ridiculous answers every time becomes another running gag. Inevitably though Rogers eventually runs into Cross Bones who has a tendency of taking his fights with Captain America too personal.
“Well someone has to defend Mr Stark since all his supposed friends wouldn’t hesitate on turning their backs on him for some spoiled hydra agent who doesn’t know how to control their anger but sure knows how to fuck up people’s mind!” he snaps. Then uses the frozen state of the stunned Captain to his advantage to break the man’s nose with a very satisfying crack. Because, hello, villain.
(He then promptly dives to the side to push a crying kid out of the way a crumbling building. Not because he cares about who gets hurt of course. Villains don’t care about this stuff. But everyone knows Tony Stark cares about it.)
He gets twenty-five points for breaking Roger’s nose. He also gets a “I don’t know why, but if a guy like Cross Bones decides to save a kids’ life I’m not gonna sit around complaining about it.” and a thumbs up from Tony Stark in that night’s talk show.
(He does not care more about the thumbs up than about the points. His fellow villains are not jealous.)
There are a lot of villains-saving-civilians-and-innocent-bystanders incidents after that.
(Not that anyone cares what Tony Stark thinks. The saving people thing simply earns them bonus points. Bonus points are important.)
I wish you would write a fic where the ex-Vengers are hanging around Wakanda post Civil War talking and one of them wishes Tony never became Iron Man. Wanda decides to grant that wish and they end up in a universe where Iron Man isn't a thing, a world where Tony Stark survived Afghanistan but never made the armor. Bonus points if Stane was able to lock him out of Stark Industries and Tony disappeared from the public eye afterward.
Okay, to be honest, I don’t know if this took the turn you wanted to but hear me out.
Stane wins; Tony is quietly hustled away and kept in a workshop probably, where he has to work for Stane. Rhodey doesn’t get to see him ever and Stane got rid of Pepper because she was way too clever for Stane’s liking.
Iron Man 1 and 2 don’t really happen; maybe Vanko goes after Stane when he realizes that he got the arc reactor working somehow, but Tony isn’t in there at all.
Stane still deals with weapons, so the Ten Rings are still going strong, rebels all over the world can now take on any government army because they are armed just as well or even better as the soldiers and the world is a mess.
And then the Avengers happen. And it’s here that it gets tragic, because everything goes to shit.
The helicarrier crashes down when Clint takes out the second rotor, because no one is there to quick start it again. The remaining Avengers probably make it off in time, but Fury, Hill and Coulson not so much because they make sure everyone else gets saved first.
The world council still orders a nuclear hit on New York and since there is no Iron Man to carry the bomb into space it hits right where it was supposed to. The Avengers die in a fiery blaze; the Hulk most likely the only one who makes it out of there.
So the world might have averted this particular catastrophe at a very high price but it’s not even the worst one.
Project Inside is a go just a few years later, helicarriers without the repulsor technology but still able to fly and since Cap isn’t there to stop anything they wipe off a horrifying percentage of the world’s population.
(And because I am not a completely horrible person, that is gonna be the place where Wanda stops her little magic, but everyone remembers exactly how a world without Tony Stark would be and they are horrified. They never knew he had that much impact on anything even though they were right there.)
Here's a problem with the Tony haters. Tony is bad for wanting revenge, yet you people are fine with T'Challa, who was reacting violently to Bucky as a HEAD OF STATE, putting on a suit and turning into a vigilante thug. At least Tony tried to compromise. T'Challa just started attacking people for a really flimsy reason.
really, dude? you come into my inbox to defend a white war profiteer and to call a black person a thug? god, you people are really that transparent.
flimsy reason??!! honestly, what the fuck. t’challa held his father’s dead body in his arms. tony’s parents died almost 30 years ago and t’challa watched his father die in front of him like the day before and for some reason you think that tony’s violent outburst is justified but t’challa isn’t allowed to grieve without you reducing him to the racist “aggressive black man” stereotype.
t’challa went after bucky because he believed him to be completely guilty. he had evidence of “bucky” planting the bomb at the building. tony knew bucky was innocent and he still tried to kill him. i’m sorry, but that’s unforgivable. once t’challa realized that he’d made a mistake and bucky had been set up, he tried his best to fix it. he didn’t even let zemo die (you know, t’chaka’s actual killer who, unlike bucky, was guilty) because he wasn’t going to let vengeance consume him anymore. tony let his anger get the best of him.
anyway if you’re a tony stan, you’re not allowed to talk about t’challa. you can’t even think about him. you can’t even look at him. sorry, i don’t make the rules. stick to worshiping your trashy fave and don’t touch other characters.
Hi, I know its monday and you probably have tons of things to do, but could I get some fluff, please? It's been an awful weekend(one of the most loved grandmas of the neighbourhood died saturday) and my grandma(who I haven't seen in years) died today and we can't go to her funeral. I am a breath away from an anxiaty attack and later today I have to go back to college alone, after weeks in family. So please, can I have some Tony&Peter or Tony&the bots or Tony&Harley&Peter&Rhodey fluff?? Thanks
Aw burrito. :C
Tony ran a hand through his hair and sighed, dipping his head. “Okay. All of you have new wheels. You have new screws. Dum-E has a new strut because he bent his somehow–”
Dum-E let out a happy beep and spun in a circle. Butterfingers and U watched him for a moment before following suit. Sometimes they really were like little kids that copied their older brother.
“Sir,” JARVIS said. “You speak as if Dum-E didn’t bend his strut trying to keep an engine from falling on you.”
“Shh,” Tony answered immediately, scowling.
That had been a… frightening day. Tony didn’t like to admit that he made mistakes, but he had, the chain hadn’t been checked properly, the engine hadn’t been anchored properly, Tony hadn’t done everything properly. It was his fault.
He had been so–so scared when the chain slipped and the engine started to fall–more scared that when he battled Doom Bots or sentient slime, because this–this was what he did for fun, and he’d felt a little betrayed over it, even if it had been his fault. So many calculations had run through his head and he still hadn’t been able to get out of the way in time.
And then Dum-E–dear, sweet, foolish Dum-E–had let out a terrified squeal and clenched his claw around the alternator, and the sudden weight had caused his strut to bend with the stress, almost fold in half, and his servos had whirred frantically.
Butterfingers and U had zipped over, wheels leaving burnt rubber on the floor, to hurriedly grasp the engine. They’d beeped at each other and moved together to settle the engine on the floor a few feet away as Dum-E creaked his arm down to tap Tony’s face with his claw. Tony had felt awful that Dum-E had had to damage himself to save him.
“This should stand up to any engines,” he said to himself, reaching out to run his hand over Dum-E’s strut. Dum-E rolled closer to let him. Tony smiled tremulously. “Good boy, saving your dumb old daddy.”
Dum-E let out an offended beep and shoved his open claw against Tony’s stomach, curling it just slightly so that he was holding Tony’s waist.
“Dum-E does not like it when you call yourself dumb,” JARVIS supplied.
“Oh, but it’s okay when I do it to him,” Tony said, lifting a hand to wipe away–sweat, yeah, sweat.
Dum-E pressed closer to him, chassis bumping against his knees. He beeped again. It sounded… fond.
“I love you,” Tony blurted out, wrapping his arms around the bot as well. “I know I don’t say it enough, but–I do.”
Butterfingers and U rolled over to grasp at his shirt and arm, beeping quietly.
“We love you too, Sir,” JARVIS said quietly, part translation and part sincere.
Tony pressed his forehead to Dum-E strut.
He’d kind of figured that, when Dum-E had grabbed a falling car engine to keep it from killing him at the expense of his own arm.
@tetrisandwanderingowls said “I bet Tony has accidentally kicked off several campaigns…he doesn’t even notice sometimes and is like, “wow, that’s a good cause, what a good idea” and Pepper and Rhodey just sigh because Tony is so good and doesn’t even realize”
I can totally see it. Tony being all, hey there are a lot of people wearing the same shirt outside did I miss something?
And Pepper with an eyeroll: It’s a social movement. They’re protesting the über-gendering of objects and products as part of sale strategies.
Tony: Huh. Sounds like a good idea, how can I support them?
Pepper, thinking of the off-handed ‘if I want to buy woman shampoo because they don’t have the right scent in the men section, I’m gonna buy it, it’s fucking shampoo’ comment by Tony that started the ‘Fucking Shampoo’ movement in the first place: You founded it