tony the taco


- the first time someone knocks richie’s glasses off his face eddie comes after the little shits with the vengeance of an asmathic boy with an eerie capability to wield his inhaler lethally

- “you just don’t fuck with eddie kaspbrak.” the rumours kiss the hallways of Derry High, his blue inhaler like a beacon of fear in his freckled, tan hand.

- richie tozier once burned the soles off a bully’s shoes using his eyeglasses and the sunlight.

- “he’s fucking ingenious,” one girl says, her glasses glinting on her face. she’s glad richie tozier showed those overgrown assholes what glasses can do

- eddie can’t run fifteen feet without wheezing like someone’s force choking his lungs

- to combat this, he hitches a ride on richie’s back when they’re running away from bullies. it’s oddly romantic.

- richie actually doesn’t know how to tell eddie he likes him (properly, that is. he was supposed to ask ben) so he just… tells him… and then nods… makes a dick joke… and runs away

- eddie sighs and sticks “i ❤️ u too idiot” on richie’s bike

- do not tell anyone. but richie put that shit in a time capsule to commemorate. he hopes someone will find it and know of his and eddie’s love

- he buys rips eddie sunflowers from the denbrough’s garden

- eddie of course knows where he got them from and returned it to mrs denbrough

- he tells richie to “try again,”

- to woo richie’s mother into letting him date her son, he bought her pies and promised to not let eddie run around without his two fanny packs (jokes on her eddie already does that)

- eddie makes richie wear the second fanny pack “its bad for my hips, richie. share the weight.”

- he dutifully carries the fannypack. why? because he fucking loves eddie kaspbrak, even if that means carting around a fanny pack

- every time richie comes into the pharmacy without eddie, the pharmacist just goes “?” and richie nods. he knows. the people of derry know. he’s whipped for eddie kaspbrak. he wears this like a badge

(i might add to this. why am i doing this while in class)

Steve: [about Tony] I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.

Scott: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?

Steve: I can’t go to Taco Bell, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Scott you’re so stupid!

[Steve leaves, Scott follows]

Scott: Wait, Cap! Talk to me!


Part 1

A/N: Okay so universes may be colliding because of the gif of Barry Allen, but Marvel needs more speedsters.

The next day, Peter kept his eyes out for you literally at all times. He would wait by your locker, try to intercept you in the hallways, and even tried to wait outside your classes. He had no luck spotting you the entire day. Peter liked to reassure himself that you might just not be in for a completely different reason, but he knew why you weren’t at school.

The next thing Peter tried was going to your house with some of your work, just in case he needed an excuse. Your dad answered the door and smiled widely at the sight of Peter. He always liked to discuss any sort of science subject with Peter. “Hello, Peter,” your dad greeted, “Can I help you?”

Looking at your dad, Peter tried to imagine him years ago when he was saving the city with his speed. He wonders if he still has his powers. You mentioned your dad losing friends. Did the death of one of them compel him to give up on being a hero? Peter nodded swiftly, “I was wondering if Y/N was here? I have some things to give her.”

Your dad made a little face. “Sorry, Peter. You just missed her. You could leave it here if you want.” Peter didn’t miss a beat and simply smiled with a nod.

After some small talk with your dad, he excused himself, making up a lame reason involving Aunt May. Your dad just said bye and told him to be safe walking home. Peter began walking home, since he had no where to go really.

He’d always ask you how your dad was and you always responded with “Awesome.” Under different circumstances, Peter could almost imagine you laughing and saying, “I told you my dad was awesome!”

His phone buzzed when he was about halfway home. Mr. Stark was texting him. “We got a speedster. Might need you.” His eyebrows rose and he quickly ducked in an alley to change into his Spiderman suit.

By the time he got there, Mr. Stark led him to a cylinder with a constant blur. Steve, Natasha, and Wanda were there, all prepared for what might happen. He gulped and asked the obvious question, “This is the speedster?”

“Yep, they’re trying to break through the glass, but this-” Mr. Stark tapped the glass. “-is unbreakable to them.” He began walking around the glass cylinder. “The energy of running this fast is astronomical, so they should stop soon.”

Steve stated firmly, “I’m not a fan of this. They’re using their power for good and we’re treating them like a criminal.” Peter noticed the gender neutral pronouns and realized that they don’t know who you are.

“Okay, Mr. Social Justice, we’re simply keeping them here so they will talk to us,” Mr. Stark explained. Wanda seemed unsure of how she felt, but Natasha recognized that if they wanted to talk, this had to be done.

Peter didn’t say a word about the situation. He simply kept his mask on and got ready for the inevitable.

The blur in the cylinder slowed down slightly, until they could see a human figure. It was still moving very fast, but your shape was getting more defined. Then, they could see that you were a girl, even though you’re wearing your suit. Finally, you collapsed in the cylinder, having used up too much of your energy.

The action made Peter remember your dizzy spells as a child. Did you really have these powers your whole life? You did describe it as a gene. He stepped closer as Steve protested, “Get her out of there, Stark.”

You were taken to another room, with bindings on your limbs that were similar to the cylinder. Regaining the tiniest bit of energy, your eyes opened slowly, lazily taking in your situation. Once you spotted Spiderman, you scoffed, “Of course.” To the best of your ability, you sat up straighter. “Does anyone have any food?”

“Yeah, what do you want?” Wanda asked. She looked conflicted and almost hurt. You must have reminded her of Pietro.


Tony began placing the order. “How many, kid?”

“850 should be enough,” you answered truthfully, “Not factoring in guacamole and chips. To be easier, grab the granola bar in my bag that is laying around here somewhere.” Peter grabbed your bag and pulled out the granola bars you liked. He remembered you saying that they’re to combat the dizziness you used to get.

“What are they?” Mr. Stark asked curiously.

You immediately replied, “A more convenient form of 850 tacos.” Peter went over with the granola bar. Mr. Stark held him back for a second, but Peter pushed past him to get you food. Your hands were bound, so he fed you the granola bar, feeling much more relieved as the color returned to your face.

“Are you okay?” He asked as you continued to eat.

“What do you think?”

“Spiderling?” Peter looked back to Captain America, Wanda, Natasha, and Mr. Stark. They all looked terribly confused, but didn’t come any closer. He turned back to you and asked, “May I?” He gestured to your mask.

“I don’t get much of a choice,” you said as if you still had no energy. Peter chuckled at that before carefully placing his hands on your mask. While taking off your mask, he tried to be as gentle as he could. Your eyes met his and he could see all your emotions. Hurt, betrayal, sure. But there was all relief at the familiar face.

Peter took off his own mask so you could see his eyes. “Get her out of these binds.”

“Spiderling, I think you need to explain this to us,” Mr. Stark stood with his arms crossed. He had a stern expression on his face. “We’re not letting her go without an explanation.”

Steve looked at Mr. Stark, conflict evident in his eyes. He didn’t want a girl as young as you bound against your will. What did that make the Avengers seem like? He knew the morally right decision so he cut in, “Stark, we’ll be able to get an explanation without the binding.”

Stepping forward, Wanda stated, “I agree. Let her out.” While she was cautious, your powers reminded her of Pietro and made her more compassionate of your situation.

“This does seem rather unnecessary, Stark,” Natasha mentioned. She appeared to be bored, but you knew by her stance that it was simply an illusion, hiding her diligence.

Mumbling as he did so, Mr. Stark undid the bounds. You stood up suddenly, wondering if you should just run away, until Peter grabbed your hand reassuringly. He leaned in closer and whispered, “Please stay this time.” Peter even joked that you wouldn’t want the Avengers after you.

Your best option was to cooperate and then they might let you on your merry way. They led you to a place in the Avenger compound with a couch for everyone. Seeing the Avenger’s moving around comfortably, you guessed that it might be the living room. Peter sat down on the couch and patted on the spot next to him. Hesitantly, you sat down there.

Mr. Stark observed you carefully for thirty seconds before asking Peter, “Okay, Spiderling. She’s out. Now how do you know this one?”

“We share classes,” he answered in casual tone, “Like Chemistry and Algebra II.”

“So, she’s your friend?” Natasha checked. The two of you nodded. “You didn’t seem too surprised when her mask came off. Did you know who she is?”

“I only found out last night.”

Not liking how they were talking about you as if you weren’t in the room, you interjected, “You know I’m right here, right? I can answer questions.”

“Okay,” Steve asked, “What is your name?”

You looked at him in the eyes before replying, “Y/N Y/L/N, speedster, high school student, doesn’t appreciate being trapped like a fly in a glass.”

He nodded. “Fair enough. Sorry we had to meet in those conditions, miss Y/L/N.”

“How did you get your powers?” Wanda asked curiously. If more human enhancement was occurring, they had no idea what they would do.

“From my father,” you answered truthfully, “He got the powers from an induced lightning strike in the lab, which released dark energies.”

“Powers?” Mr. Stark echoed.

“I can run through walls and possibly travel through time.”

“Those are two very different things,” Peter pointed out. You shrugged. His eyes lit up and he perked up. “Wait, can you vibrate your molecules at an atomic level? That’s how you go through walls?” You nodded casually. “That is so cool,” he exclaimed.

After about ten minutes of questions, Mr. Stark requested to see your powers in action when he knew what to look for. You looked at Peter, who nodded, and agreed. You ran around for a while before the treadmill there physically broke.

Looking at your top speed, Wanda uttered, “That is faster than Pietro could even think of running.”

Speeding to her, you explained, “That’s because Quicksilver’s speed was simply enhanced. I get my powers from the Speed Force that was invented when my father was struck.” Once you started talking, you felt giddy that you had people to tell. These were the Avengers, so you assumed there’d be no consequences.

Finally, they wanted to test your reflexes. While they did simple things like throwing balls at you, the last test was the difficult one. It wasn’t a real gun, but it did shoot bullet like objects. It wouldn’t kill you, of course. Wanda distracted you by levitating balls in front of you while Natasha shot the gun.

Once you heard the gunshot, time stilled for you since you were moving so fast. You stopped with a close fist in front of your chest. The Avengers crowded around you to see you open the hand with the bullet.

“That is awesome!” Peter cheered. Mr. Stark seemed impressed and gave you a number to contact him about potential membership for the Avengers or to warn hi if you’re coming to a crime scene.

Your energy was through the roof and Peter seemed just as excited. “Y/N, your powers are the coolest things I’ve ever seen!” He exclaimed before hesitantly asking, “What happened to working alone?”

“I think if my friends are superheroes, they might have a better chance than humans,” you answered, “I was actually going to apologize today, but Mr. Stark found me first.”

“Oh okay,” Peter replied in a weird tone, “I would offer you a lift home, but looks like we’re walking.” He had taken his suit off at the compound.

Your eyes flashed mischievously. “I could give you a lift.”

“Wait, Y/N, the friction-” You accidentally cut him off when your grabbed his shirt and sped to his apartment. His shirt, because of the friction he was about to mention, caught on fire. Your eyes widened at the sight and Peter freaked out. Finally, he took the burning fabric off and you stomped it out. “As I was saying, the friction.” He gestured to the burned shirt.

“Sorry, Peter,” you said while cringing, “I better go before the situation gets any more awkward. See you tomorrow.” Using your super speed, you quickly kissed his cheek and ran home.

The force forced Peter to the ground and he felt the lightest pressure on his cheek. Smiling to himself, Peter entered his apartment, with no plan on how to tell Aunt May why he was entering without a shirt.

hi i love science bros

i feel like there’s not enough science bros stuff on here so i decided to make some head canons for this travesty

Tony always gets him stupid organic crap from the store only to find out that Bruce really likes all the crappy junk food you can get from any gas station (”Y-you like…funyons?” Tony asks, completely scandalized. “How dare you!” Bruce just shrugs, eating the disgusting snack. “They helped me with a breakthrough in the study of applied physics to gamma radiation. They’re cool.” “Bruce, no.”) 

Bruce, despite what Tony says, knows that he’s a total nerd who would make a slide show of possible inventions from sci-fi shows to invent and use. They do things like this on slow weekends, with reason. (They did not make a transportation device like that found in Star Trek. They attempted it. The carrot did not make it back in one piece. They found out that it landed in the Pentagon. Tony suggested they go through with it anyway.) 

They both buy things for the other that they think is funny. “You did not get me custom pajamas that have embroidery of the Hulk fists on them,” Bruce says, horrified. 

“If you return them, you’re gonna waste about two thousand dollars. That was custom designer work.” 

“Tony, oh my god, stop it.” 

“This is payback for the Iron Man suitcases.” Bruce laughs; the suitcases were child-sized, and could only hold, at most, three shirts. Bruce bought three. 

They talk on a balcony when things get too quiet. Bruce tells him that he remembers more than he ever lets on; the screams, the cries, and what people whisper behind his back. How it’s almost always been like that, and he’s not sure why he isn’t used to it by now. Tony tells him how sometimes he gets anxiety attacks and dammit, he’s never known why. He shouldn’t be having them, he’s strong. They talk through issues. Research mental health issues and make stupid puns off their Avenger titles. 

“what’s big, green, and ugly?” Tony asks. 

“Me?” Bruce asks. 

“Nah, you’re big, green, and stunning. That stupid jar of green tea you keep on the kitchen counter. It’s disgusting, put it away.” 

“Tony, you literally love green tea.” 

“No I do not, shut up. There is no proof.” Bruce sighs. 

“Jarvis, bring up file thirty-six-b-banner.” There is Tony making green tea. “See?” 

“Jarvis, delete that file.” Bruce laughs. 

Tony doesn’t allow for self-deprecating comments. After another Ross statement and Bruce spiralling into a mood of self-hatred, Tony helps as best he can. He makes tea and refuses to acknowledge it. He lists off accomplishments and victories of the Hulk and Bruce Banner. 

Bruce does the same thing. When Tony makes a wry comment, Bruce casually compliments him, or asks him about the earth-shattering technological invention that even Thor admitted was getting to be on par with their technology. “See? You’re awesome,” Bruce says. “Now get in the car, we’re going for tacos.” 

Tony is always careful about what they have in the fridge: a self-pronounced vegetarian, Bruce is extremely cautious about what he eats. Including Hulk’s caloric intake, Tony has to invent an entirely new protein bar to keep up with the insane amount of calories burned. (”How did you even survive?” Tony asks, doing the math. Bruce gives a wry smile. “A little birdie once told me that it was for a reason.” It shouldn’t be said, but Tony smiles for two hours afterwards.) 

They’re good friends, and they like each other a lot. 

ok but the Young Avengers are 100% the kind of little shits who sing Friday all the time

to the point where after Friday is the integrated AI or what-have-you Tony flat out refuses to attend Friday meetings in the tower because whenever he asks Friday to pull information up the ENTIRE YA TEAM starts going “..Friday, gotta get down of Friday, everybody’s looking forward to the weekend…Partying, partying, YEAH”

and once Friday starts to grow into a personality it gets WORSE

because Friday is flattered by this. It’s an in-joke and kind of makes Friday feel like part of the YA team and Tony is SO INSULTED because Hawkeye and that hacker and space-prince and magic boy have CORRUPTED HIS AI

and eventually the YA and Friday, will, mostly off-key or in synthetic voice, belt out Friday

(Friday’s favorite part is the part about cereal and the “Fun, fun, fun, fun” part)

give me a tony stark whose eyes was his father’s, but his smile from his mother.

give me a tony stark whose smile finally fucking reaches his eyes

give me a tony stark who leans his head on pepper potts’ shoulders as they finally say to each other “it’s okay, now”

give me a tony stark who clutches his best friend james rhodes close and tight as rhodey walks towards him, legs still wobbly but walking.

give me a tony stark who looks at bucky barnes and smiles, because they’re both on the road of forgiveness and healing

give me a tony stark who sits beside steve rogers in companionable silence, bodies battered and war won.

give me a tony stark who won’t die with so much hurt in his heart

let me have a tony stark who is unforgivably tony stark.

Confessions Of A Drunk Assassin *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Originally posted by cesaray

Requested by Anon:  Hello, can I request Bucky x reader?Like Tony takes Bucky and Steve to drink and they come back super drunk (just pretend okay? lol) and Bucky confess/kiss the reader. Thank you 
Warnings: Drunk Bucky, fluff and drunk kisses, plus hangovers and feels
Admins Note: I know Bucky cannot get drunk but in this he does. Also I made this a lot more Christmas-y, as in they drink a lot of eggnog and mulled wine, like barrels - well Bucky does and he has a cute Santa hat on as he kisses you. 

No One’s P.O.V throughout

Tony laughed loudly as Bucky downed another pint glass of eggnog, something he didn’t like in the beginning but as the afternoon turned into the evening, he was becoming increasingly accustomed to the drink. 

Steve sat and watched as the two… bonded with alcohol. He wasn’t drinking as much as those two, he didn’t want to test the limitations, although I think they had found Bucky’s since he was clinging to the bar for support. 

Hey, oldies I stole Thor’s Assgardian juice” Bucky laughed at what Tony called it, repeating the word ass, he banged his metal fist on the bar as he laughed and the black marble cracked. Silence consumed the two drunken messes of men, Tony looked stunned and Bucky held his metal hand out like he had just realised he had this.

Wow… I am seriously strong” he hiccuped, a grin forming “I could probably carry… a gallon of milk or something” he slurred and Tony nodded.
“I can handle a pint, anything more would be absurd” he flared his arms out, Bucky nodded, noting how tiny Tony’s arms are. 

“Down the hatches, lads” he poured the seriously strong God juice into all three cups “I have like more of this, so keep drinking,” he told them, both Bucky and Steve downed their drinks and Tony was swaying back and forth, it had been a while he had drunk this much. 

I feel tingly” Steve began to slur after his third Asgardian drink, Bucky snickered, hair falling into his face as he blew it out but the strands floated back down again. 

“I feel tingly sometimes, only around (Y/N)” he confessed, Tony then remembered the reason behind this afternoon drinking, he wanted Bucky to confess his feelings about you. 

“That means you like her” Steve sang, Tony nodded in agreement, Bucky looked a little startled but happy as he realised they were right “you should totally go for it” Bucky nodded in a rush “like… go up to her, confess and then like… make out or have sex, what’s the one when two lips collide… sex or make out?” Steve asked confused, all three men began to think on that. 

All three men stood up, holding onto each other for balance, Bucky was the first to walk and he stumbled to the floor; Tony helped him up but ended up falling onto Steve who managed to stay balanced. The walk from one room to the next was surprisingly difficult. Yourself, Natasha and Wanda all sat watching television when the three drunken men walked in, each trying to act casual like they hadn’t been drinking for five hours; although the stench of alcohol clued you in on them. 

You guys smell like a liquor store” you admit, the others nodding agreement, Bucky stumbled and pointed at you for a while he looked as though he was trying to remember to talk “you okay?” you stand up and walk to him, he nods, Steve nudged him and that causes Bucky to trip but he remains somewhat stable.

“(Y/N)” he began, you look at Natasha who was busy laughing at Steve and Tony, both poking each others faces asking why the mirror is funny looking “you are very… bootiful” he clarifies, you raise your eyebrows and mutter a thank you, slightly unsure why he was so drunk “don’t tell Steve but I’m kind of drunk” he whispers to you, a loud gasp happens, Steve has fallen to the floor because Tony had told him Taco-Bell is closed. 

“I think we would look really good together,” he says coherently, you widen your eyes, either this is the drink or its amping him up to confess his feelings “I’m either going to kiss you or puke on you, I haven’t decided,” he tells you in advance. 

Before you could possibly move away, he pulls you closer and smashes his mouth to you, the kiss was nice but the taste of the various exotic drinks was unpleasant, he pulls away “I’m either going to pass out or die” he tells you before falling backwards. 

“My head” Bucky groans walking groggily into the kitchen, Tony and Steve sat groaning at the breakfast bar, Tony was somewhat okay but Steve had his head hidden in a trash can and would throw up whenever he groaned too loudly. You were sat smiling drinking apple juice, you loved seeing these three in this pain, you warned them about drinking earlier in the afternoon but they all shrugged you off “stop smiling, (Y/L/N)” Bucky growls slightly. 

“I can’t” you confess “Confessions of a drunk assassin makes me slightly giddy” you tell him, his eyes widen and you chuckle “also… thanks for choosing to kiss me and not throw up, also for passing out and not dying” you tell him, he lets his head fall onto the table with a loud groan. 

“I am never drinking again” Bucky yells, you stand up and pat his shoulder “I did mean it though,” he tells you, mumbling because of his face onto the table, he picks his head up and he looks slightly okay but still a grumpy face present.

“Well, I’ll wait for you under the mistletoe, just brush your teeth because five hours of alcohol makes you smell real bad,” you tell him “shower, all of you” you yell and Tony looks at the two super-soldiers.

“Hopefully, she didn’t mean together” Bucky chuckled at him, he then remembered he broke the bar, he got up and began to prepare for the rage that would be Tony Stark.