Tumblr Crushes:

a fair amount of folks that have not been on here in a bit, thought I would share the love.

so go read, and look,and love and follow. 

I heart these folks more than you know.


Random Dream (17May2011)

Last night, I had a strange dream, well, all my dreams are strange. Most of which I can not write here. I have trained myself to remember dreams clearly, almost as clear as real memories, which is kinda not so good at times, but anyway… Here is a short recall.

I was hired by my mother to work in an intelligence agency similar to what we see in films, like the CIA or whatever, but more secretive and I think it was more corrupt and dangerous. Mother told me to complete a job that the other agent failed to complete. It was to kill some guy. I have no idea who the guy was. I recall the other agent being a friend of mine in real life. At the same time I saw birds trying to untangle a bag from a tree (yes, WTF). And there was a room, like a dungeon, rusty room, like a cell, but something more of Silent Hill, creepy. I remember arguing with the other agent about the morality of the mission or something to that direction. And I recall seeing a few naked people around, (wtf was they doing there? don’t know). The whole dream was longer in time than I described.

I know how to interpret dreams as well. This doesn’t means anything really, other than my subconscious mind misses Mother, and I’ve been reading too much about conspiracies and CIA and watching too many films lately.  

My Vendetta #80

Passive activism. How does caring about the sick help the sick? How does not
throwing food away help those who are starving thousands of miles away? Is your stomach going to send invisible love signals to them, so that they may feel full as well? Whether you eat or not is upon you, whether you excrete fecal matter of the food you ate or simply throw the food in the trash is only upon your wallet. Simply saying things, simply praying or simply not doing something does not help anybody but you yourself. Its a selfish act to make yourself feel good so you can sleep better at night. Those in need will still be there, those who are suffering will still be suffering whether you pray or think about them. The much more useful solution is to actually do something. Whether its by a collective effort to contribute something, or by you physically being there to assist those in need. If everybody simply prayed for those in need, then nothing would ever change in this world. You might as well just go to sleep, the effect is the same.

Stalin & Me - What we have in common

Doesn’t he look like a merge between Keanu Reeves and Jonny Depp? Thats a picture of Joseph Stalin in his mid-twenties. Picture was taken on ~ 1902.

Alright, so, what do I have in common with Stalin of the Soviet Union?

  • Stalin thought that religion was an opiate that needed to be removed… but then later on decided that its cool, after all, he had majority of population who had Christian beliefs, he thought its better to have them at his side (in case he needed them in war, because religious people can be used by their clergymen for anything apparently). Of course that was then when people in general were idiots, and easily susceptible to mind control, propaganda and programming. Back then when the world was in the brink of war… Back when there was no Internet. I agree that religion is an opiate, but I don’t want to remove it. I think people should believe whatever they like (freedom of expression, freedom of thought, etc), as long as they keep their religion in their pocket and not on my bottle of wine, and not on my front door (you know who you are, Jehovah’s Witnesses). Besides its easier to control people when they believe in the something similar.  
  • Stalin enjoyed drinking, but could keep it under control. We both rather have wine as opposed to vodka. He was a heavy drinker, so am I. Sorta. Well, I’m working on it. I promise. Yes, I know ethanol is poison.
  • Stalin had unsuccessful relationships/unions, which ended with tragic deaths. Same here, except for the tragic deaths part. Sometimes I wish it were the case.
  • Stalin was a promising amateur poet. Yep. Thats before he went death-cowboy, waving that reddish flag with farm tools on it. He was also considered a rebel, a revolutionary, fighting against the establishment, etc. I think I’m a promising amateur poet as well. Of course I have a long way to go, all my work is yet ahead of me.
  • Stalin is considered a dictator. It seems like I’m leaning towards that direction as well for several reasons. The wine, the poetry, my anti-establishment views, my mild psychopathic nature, my pessimism, my paranoia, my misanthropy (its mostly distrust, not hatred), my quest for power and knowledge, my atheism (yes, some nice religious/righteous people have happily associated atheism with war, suffering, immorality and mass murder…) and so on.

Further reflection:

It seems like the old world’s way was either conform or die. That’s how dictators and other assholes got the people under a singular mind. Similar to how North Korea functions. Those who differ with the government are imprisoned and marked as terrorists. Never be critical of your dear leader. The binary world view. Either you’re with us or against us. Monotheistic religion has this mentality as well, its not just communism or socialism.

Hopefully, the old world will die off. I’m tired living in a fucked up world, given all this technology we have, all the history we know, yet still we fight about dumb shit. We’re still being lied to over and over again. And there we stand in the same spot, waiting for the sky deity to come down and save us. What foolishness. If there is God, then God is the everything, that is, the sun, water, air, blood, and all those other countless things that we can not exist without. That includes even your toilet paper and your porn collection. Given that scenario, the description or title God becomes unnecessary and common just like you are.

Though I’m not one to hope, and because I understand how the world works, I shall keep on fighting my small battles, so that someday, we shall win the bigger war. Hope is as useful as showing a photograph of the sun to a leaf.

There is no good solution. However I look at it, it wont fit. Something will always remain broken. There can never be a perfect world, there is no such thing as perfect. Its a theoretical description of something you would imagine to be ideal. So this is where the wine comes in handy. Some people like to feel blessed, I like to feel tipsy. Thats just how I role. Anyway, fuck Stalin and his friends.  

You hurt my 'feelings' (now, where's my candy?)

I know, it sounds ridiculous. How can someone hurt your ‘feelings’, after all, that person can not touch or even feel them. Getting offended is one of the most childish games there are. People choose to get offended to avoid for example facing the arguments in a debate or conversation. When they can not reason, they play the 'hurt feelings’ card, and then everybody seems to tremble, bow down and
walk away. Now the child wins the adult debate. What a waste of time.

Getting offended means; you chose to let an arrangement of words, in a given language, after you read them or heard them, to control your emotional state of mind, and as a result you have surrendered your power to those collection of words. And now we are here to push the swing so you can stop crying.

So many people like to hide under the 'hurt feelings’ cover, so they can attempt to discredit us by making us look like we have no empathy or social decency. While it may seem a smart move in front of a stage of ignorant people, its really a way of admitting defeat and showing that you are pretty much useless apart from how well you can display your emotions and how little you use your intellect.

Is that how you win a debate? Does a speaker stand up and say 'oh, you hurt my feelings… therefore I win the debate’? I would imagine a speaker who says such a thing getting laughed off stage. Yet we tolerate this 'sensitivity’ towards other things like faith and religion. There everybody seems to tiptoe around people. Tell me thats not stupid. People need to hear things as they are, not sugarcoated to keep them in a bubble. In order to deal with things you need to face them, not lie to yourself so you can feel better for the time being.

We’re not talking about mindlessly disrespecting people for fun, but calling an apple an apple and not a stone instead. Of course its all up to you. In my opinion, being truthful, most times, being real with people, saying what needs to be said, saying what you really want to say - is a better way to proceed. Sure, there are exceptions to this.


now its time to challenge the world

break the limits of the mind

I will provoke you

without fear, without shame

I will cause mutation

neurological chaos

over-thought and distortion

whatever you think or feel

or whatever you say is true

is your own perception

whatever you give me

I shall receive

do not hold back