tommys mean

one of my fave tropes for gay men is older gay men finding a man who completes them and makes everything make sense; whose patient w/ them coming to terms w/ themselves and agrees to take things slow so they can work towards being at peace w/ themselves; older gay men who have lived a life full of having to hide themselves and hold back but now they dont have to, because they found someone whose pretty close to their missing puzzle piece; older gay men who can finally go to pride with the one they love and they’re not afraid; older gay men who aren’t envious of younger gay ppl but learning to love them and be happy for them; finding happiness after a lifetime of homophobia and finally just not being so afraid to feel and love

thats the trope for gay men, esp adult gay men, i need to see more often.

“My Family’s Slave” and the people who don’t want to understand Filipino culture

I got blocked within 1 minute of sending the second tweet

Instead of listening to actual Filipinos about Lola and her legacy, Miss “I study and value diversity so I will never listen to people who actually know the culture and context in which this occurred” just blocks them for disagreeing with her

So here’s a message for all y’all who think you can fight for Lola’s story but then entirely disregard the culture from which she came: 

Shut up and listen. 

I am so fucking disgusted by every “oh this is so sad” “how could anybody do this” “she should have killed that family” comment from a westerner who has no context of our culture or how they themselves contributed to it

The country that makes a Filipino maid joke every other time we as a race are mentioned shouldn’t take the moral high ground because you suddenly feel sad about it

You don’t understand how Filipinos treat family, how they’re willing to humble themselves to extremes, how being in America is already a huge fucking deal for those who grew up in the province, how that contributes to the “utang na loob” culture that while not necessarily good, is a big part of how every Filipino operates

Yes, what happened to Lola was bad. I call her Lola because 1) She would not have gone by eudocia, not even with her own family and community. Filipinos have nicknames, always, with some exceptions (our driver Tommy’s actual first name is Tommy, so). 2) Lola means old woman as much as it means grandma, so for a lack of a name that isn’t just on her grave stone and birth certificate, we call her Lola, which people in the community would have called her at that age regardless. Which Kendall might have known had she not blocked every single Filipino who actually knows a thing or two. 

What happened to her was slavery yes. Not because she served an abusive family, but because she didn’t have a choice and they didn’t pay her. It is not the kind of slavery you can put a black American context to, which is what Kendall did. In order to understand just why she didn’t leave even at the opportunities she was given, you have to understand her culture as much as her situation. 

To do otherwise is an affront to anybody who’s experienced or experiencing the same. Filipino maids are being abused in every country, even paid. They’re treated like slaves today, at this very moment, but are not considered such because they have income, little as it is. But instead of saying “huhu how sad” and “we have to end their slavery!” think about why we do it and what could be done to make sure they’re treated fairly. 

And actually listen. 

Imagine struggling with your insecurities in a relationship with Tom. You can only fathom how many women all over the world want to be with him, and sometimes you feel like it’s just a matter of time until he finds one he loves more than you. It breaks his heart to hear that you feel this way. He takes your hands in his, and tries to tell you that regardless of how many women want him, he only wants you. “No one could ever compare to my gorgeous girl.”

  • You: Dunkirk
  • Me, an intellectual: Gay boys in war
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Martin Riggs + Text Posts (because I recently fell in headfirst into the Lethal Weapon fandom and I love this sand hobo)