It’s late, and I watched The Man from U.N.C.L.E. last night. Not surprisingly, I am now having thoughts about an U.N.C.L.E Smoaking Billionaires AU. Because how could I not? Like, think about it:
It’s 1963 and Felicity Smoak is the German car mechanic whose biological father is a genius physicist forced to build a nuclear weapon for a couple of Nazi sympathizers (Isabel Rochev and Slade Wilson, I guess). Obviously not good.
Enter Tommy Merlyn, professional thief turned CIA agent tasked with doing the impossible - extracting her from East Berlin, and Oliver [insert more Russian surname], the KGB operative who must bring her into Soviet custody.
Quick aside: Tommy cooks up a mean mushroom-truffle risotto, which, according to Felicity, “smells like feet”; Oliver is built like a tank and can rip off the trunk of a car with his bare hands - Felicity and Tommy know this from firsthand experience.
So, in a rare instance in which the Americans and the Soviets find themselves aligned and sharing an objective (i.e., getting this nuclear weapon as far away from Nazi hands as humanly possible), Tommy and Oliver reluctantly team up to infiltrate the Rochev-Wilson compound and prevent a potentially world-ending transaction from taking place.
And on this mission:
Oliver and Felicity pose as an engaged couple;
Oliver and Tommy argue over fashion (“It won’t match.” “It doesn’t have to match.”);
Oliver’s all “This is not the Russian way.”;
Tommy and Oliver begrudgingly join forces to break into a shipping yard (and bond over shared daddy issues - which both men will vehemently deny ever happened);
Oliver and Felicity dance/wrestle/almost kiss (the latter happens on more than one occasion);
Tommy saves Oliver from drowning;
Tommy and Oliver ride a Vespa (together, not separately with each on his own scooter; Oliver, much to his chagrin, loses the coin toss and is forced to ride sidesaddle);
Oliver saves Tommy from (a likely grisly) death by pliers;
Tommy and Oliver learn that Felicity is an undercover MI6 agent; and
@sandy1030 messaged me this idea: I was thinking Felicity is at home w/the kids and Tommy is crying nonstop and I guess Felicity is tired too so she starts crying then Oliver comes home and finds them crying and idk comforts them. Something like you wrote in one of earlier chapters.
a few more weeks, Oliver thought with a sigh when he parked the car in the
garage and turned off the engine. Only a few more weeks were separating him
from becoming a fulltime dad and he just couldn’t wait for the day to finally
come. Spending time with Emmy and Tommy, cooking lunch for them and even doing the
housework would be so much fun than working for Queen Inc.
once more, he loosened his tie and opened the topmost button of his dress
shirt. Getting rid of those clothes was one of the things about being a
fulltime dad that he just couldn’t wait for. The only reason why he would put
on a suit and a tie after he had passed his position to Felicity was to turn on
his wife because he knew how much she loved seeing him in suit and tie. He
would even up the stakes and put on tuxes and a bowtie. As long as it was just
at the thought that maybe he would keep the suit on until the kids were in bed
and then use the effect the clothes had on Felicity for him, he got out of the
car and walked towards the front door, already fumbling for his keys. Sexy
times had been cut short since Tommy’s aversion for sleep had increased. Lately
he was crying all day long, only stopping for a few hours of sleep. Even during
feeding times he was restless which meant it took much more time to feed him
than it should take.
it had gotten better, Oliver thought, but his hopes burst like soap bubbles
when he reached the door and heard Tommy crying even before he had opened the
door. If Oliver had always thought that Emmy had inherited her mother’s loud
voice, Tommy had definitely not only inherited but enhanced it. Laurel’s Canary
Cry was nothing compared to that boy’s cries.