tomb slab

the botfa ee

SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

So let me start with the ‘good news’ (I guess?)

  • we did get the funeral scene, tho it wasn’t as beautiful, big, or as long as i would have liked
  • Bilbo cried at the funeral. i was afraid he would, and i was right. he could BARELY LOOK at Thorin, he had his hands on Thorin’s tomb/slab thing. i thought he might put the acorn up there but he didn’t. he looked destroyed. it was the worst. i would have watched 20 minutes of just that tbh, but no
  • Galadriel’s scene at Dul Guldur was extended. she was a total bamf and it was awesome.
  • before Dain’s army showed up, and right after Bilbo climbed down from the ramparts, Gandalf finally said the line “this treasure will be your death” to Thorin (but no extra mention of Thrain!). Thorin was DESPERATE, pacing around, yelling “I’ll kill you all!” Balin tried to talk sense to him, and there was a moment when Thorin’s face was so soft and he almost didn’t look sick, and i thought omg he could maybe possibly escape the dragon sickness here, but then the raven showed up and then Dain showed up and, no, “I will have war”
  • DAIN’S ARMY. WAS BADASS. Their war machines were ballin. They fought the elves because Thranduil wouldn’t stand down, and frankly the elves would have gotten decimated by the dwarves if the orcs hadn’t shown up. It was everything. everything to me. also that GOATS. all the goats. i loved it.
  • The cart chase scene!! i really liked it. Dwalin, Balin, Fili, and Kili had this cart with like a machine-arrow-shooter on the front of it pulled by like 8 rams and they fucked some shit up. Then Balin did a total self-sacrificing thing but somehow survived it bc ya know, other people are gonna die so we knew he wouldn’t. it was still good tho, A++

now the bad news

  • No? more Fili? like he had maybe one line and i already forget it
  • More, you guessed it, Legolas and the bat
  • Bard had a longer scene leading up to his standoff with Smaug
  • There was a little more Smaug, and it was actually kind of cool seeing him again, he was a pretty bad dragon, like good job, i was scared
  • WHO PLACED THE ARKENSTONE ON THORIN’S CHEST BEFORE THE FUNERAL, ugh, wtf.
  • Bilbo didn’t plant the acorn in Dale or anywhere, or ever talk about or touch it again as far as we know. i’m sticking with my original headcanon that he never planted it because it was too painful for him. sorry.
  • An orc almost cut Gandalf’s ring from his hand before Galadriel showed up to save him, and i was??? like??? okay Gandalf, that’s a lot of focus on rings of power lately but you’re just gonna let Bilbo take his home without ever even asking to see it? bad writing. glad that wasn’t in the theatrical cut.
  • Gandalf’s big speech at the funeral was literally, “The King is dead, long live the King” - cut to Dain looking really CGI and super awkward wearing the raven crown that Thorin had literally thrown away. no.
  • Poor Bifur is gonna be the next dwarf they have a funeral for. His axe got pulled forcefully from his head in the middle of the battle and like, sorry friends but, infection. is a thing. byebye Bifur.
  • Thorin never said, “Everything i did, i did for them,” and i’m blown, bc it was in the botfa trailer a year ago.
  • i can’t even remember if there was anything else, which is also Bad.