tomato joke

so i’ve been confusing friends in the discord chat because of these shitposts i’m making so i feel like i should clarify that i’ve been using a copy of the tomato subs text file to fuck around and make fauxsubs in vlc player. which results in adventures like this:

Jake: *takes phone out and dials someone’s number*

MC: Who are you calling there, Topgun?

Jake: I’m calling the police.

MC: What? Why?

Jake: I’ll have them arrest you, you thief!

MC: What? What are you talking about?

Jake: You have stolen my heart, MC!

Everyone else: Boo!! *Throws coins at Jake*

Star: Wanna hear a joke.

Marco: Uh…ok.

Star: Kay, so there’s three tomatoes walking down the street. Momma tomato, papa tomato, and baby tomato.

Star: The baby tomato starts falling behind.

Star: So the Papa tomato gets really angry, turns around and squashes him.

Star: And then Papa tomato says “ketchup”.



SUMMARY- Your first Dinner date with Cole.  How your bond with him escalates <3 A pleasant surprise at the end!!

A/N- I know it’s not a lot but I’m so grateful for everyone reading this X Thank you times a million! I really hope you like it just as much as I loved writing it, coming up with cute scenarios in my head. Please let me know what you think! Requests are OPEN, if you would like to read something else :)


You can’t believe Cole just asked you out. Okay, maybe not really- but he did ask you out for dinner! That’s something. right?

“So, yes,no? What’s the answer?,” Cole snaps his fingers to bring you out of your reverie.

My crush just asked me to have dinner with him.

“Um” you shrug, “Okay, whatever. I’m hungry”. You’ve mastered the playing-it-cool game, (y/n). Nice job.

“Okay, I’ll meet you outside in 5,” he winks.

After he leaves, you feel your heart do a little leprechaun dance. You’re going for dinner with Cole! Cole, all for yourself, even if it’s only for some few hours! You try but you can’t contain your excitement.

“Whoa, someone’s had a good day,” KJ remarks as he enters the changing room.

“Nah, I’m just happy,” you pack your bags and lock your locker, “See you, KJ!”


“So, where are we going?,” you ask Cole. You’re sitting on the front seat of his car. He has got one hand on the steering wheel, and other on your..just kidding.. he keeps twirling his hair with the other!

“A serial killer never reveals his address” Cole answers in a mysterious tone.

“You’re annoying” you roll your eyes and he simply chuckles.

“You’ll like it” he assures you.

Although you’re excited about the dinner, you’re also nervous and hesitant. What if fangirls suddenly spot you and Cole and try to murder you? You’re a fangirl yourself. You know what you’re capable of. Or what if a pap clicks a picture of you and Cole and it destroys the whole Bughead fad and it decreases the ratings of Riverdale? Or what if-

“We’re here” Cole parks the car in the lot. Seeing him drive is probably one of the hottest things ever. You can already picture him and you going on romantic dates even when you’re 60 with grey hairs and smelly feet. Whoa, slow down there, (y/n). Slow down.

The restuarent, as you observed, is situated in a cosy secluded area. It isn’t anything fancy but it isn’t rugged either. Cole chooses the cute table at the end of the room. He pulls out the chair for you, “ Oh my, well, thank you Mr Carson” you jokingly blurt in a fake British accent, taking reference from Downtown Abbey.

“Pleasure is all mine, my lady” he says in a horrible british accent.

You snicker,” Don’t ever talk to me in a british accent again”.

The waiter take your orders and you continue to laugh along at every single one of Cole’s clever jokes.

“You know what” he says,”You did break out of your shell”

You grin, “ Did I?”

“I don’t’ know. Maybe a little bit. “

You smile in response, not knowing eactly what to reply back.

“Haha, you’re so.. I don’t know” he exclaims

“What?” you’re curious ” Tell me”.

“It’s nice. The way you get annoyed by me one minute and the way you get all shy and red around me the very next”


Does he know that you have a crush on him?

“I’m sure” he continues, “ that you’ll turn into one of those hyperactive oopma loompas one day”

You roll your eyes, “ I will so not!”

“You will. I mean, you have the perfect oompa loompa height”

“HEY!” You hit him from across the table.

“Haha geez (y/n), table manners!!” he exclaims

You scoff.

“Didn’t your parents teach you any table manners?” he mocks

“My parents..” your tone grow silent and blue. You look down and let out a huge sigh.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, (y/n). I was only kidding” Cole sounded worried and sorry.

“My parents..” you continue, “ ARE WELL AND ALIVE THANK YOU! HAHA GOT YOU!

“Geez, (y/n)” he bites his lip, “ You scared me for a sec, You little….”


After dinner, Cole suggests taking a walk in the locality. As romantic as it sounds, you know that Cole is only being a friend and he doesn’t feel the same way about you.

Everything is beautiful at night. Cold, too. Cole said he wants to show you this really small and cute bridge nearby.

“AW” you yelp, “It’s so pretty!” you sound like a little kid- you smile at Cole and run towards the bridge. “Oh my god, Cole, it’s so beautiful”.

Cole smirks proudly, “ I have good taste”. He simply watches you as you run around in excitement and in total awe at the beautiful sight of the cute bridge in the middle of an icy old neighbourhood as the moon plays the role of a spectacular spotlight.

“(Y/N)” Cole takes out a pocket-sized camera from his jacket,”Stand there. Don’t move. I want to take a picture”

“You always carry that thing around?”

“Hush. Smile,” he instructs.

You lean back and smile at the camera as the flashlight hits you.

“Nice” he comments and puts his camera back into his jacket.

“Pretty cold, huh” he makes his way towards you.

You turn around and gaze at the view from across the bridge, “It’s so serene” you breathe out. “What a happy place”

Suddenly, you feel two warm arms envelope you from behind. Your eyes widen in shock.

“I asked you if you were cold” Cole calmly says, “ What was it, again? Happy place huh?”


Ever since the dinner date, your feelings for Cole progressed even more. That night,you danced around the room with possibility of Cole liking you back- even if it was an infinitesimally small possibility, a possibility nonetheless.

Everything has been going so well lately, even in work too. Mark applauded your skills as a first timer. You friendship with Lili and Cam only grew more. KJ was always there to tease you every chance he got. And Cole, oh Cole, I guess you could say maybe the possibility of him liking you back was not infinitesimally small.

For instance, the other day while you were watching Lili and KJ act, Cole came towards you and put his arm around you. You just stood there in a comfortable silence. When Mark called your name, you told Cole you had to go but he started singing, “Why’d you have to leave so soon? Why’d you have to go? Why’d have to leave me when I needed you the most?” You simply rolled your eyes and blurt a “See you later” even though your heart couldn’t stop fluttering.

Okay maybe that was not a significant (y/n)-Cole moment. Well, what about the time you slept off on the sofa again beacause you were dead exhausted. You could hear Cole, Camila and KJ’s voice in the background talking about their next scene.

“Let’s go” you heard one of them say. Just when you thought they all left, “See you, sleepy head” Cole whispered and left a small peck on your cheek. AND ALTHOUGH YOU WERE STILL SLEEPY AND TIRED, YOUR ENTIRE FACE TURNED RED AND YOUR STOMACH BURSTED WITH BUTTERFLIES ALL OVER!

Throughout the shooting of season 2,thereafter, Cole had been giving you signs that he may like you back. The playful teases and the subtle flirting- you didn’t’ want to lift your hopes up just yet, but this was the happiest you’ve ever been in a long time, and we have to thank Cole for that.

The shooting for Season 2 of Riverdale was nearing its end and although you couldn’t wait to rest and watch how you did on the show, you were also sad because that would mean you won’t get to see Cole every single day.

During the penultimate night of shooting, Cole insisted to drive you home. You gladly accepted his request and got into his sleek car.

“Time flies, huh,” Cole breaks the ice ,” Can’t believe tomorrow’s the last day of shooting”

“Yeah,” you agreed,” Seems like just yesterday when I auditioned for the role”

“Yeah, seems like just yesterday when you were a pathetic shy new kid” Cole mocks

“HEY!” you hit his arm, “You’re annoying”

“And now look at you, already abusing the guy who took you in and….”

“Pff…” you scoff,”You’re really annoying”

“and you’re really shy” he says

“I am not!” you protest,” I’m just.. “

“Oh please, like I don’t notice the way you turn into a giant tomato everytime I try to flirt with you”

Your eyes widen, “ wait..what”

“See? You’re doing it again! You’re turning into a tomato” Cole laughed, “ You have a crush on me”

Your stomach dropped. Are you that easy to read? Nevertheless, you decide protest anyway. “ OH PLEASE! DON’T FLATTER YOURSELF” you fight back your tomato self.

Cole carried on laughing, “ Little (y/n) has a BIG crush on me! Aw, that’s adorable”

“Stop that! I so don’t have a crush on you” you roll your eyes and fold your arms.

“Hahaha you’re so cute” he exclaims.

“Whatever,” you scoff angrily, looking at window- refusing to face him.

“Aw, look at me. I don’t mind you looking like a tomato” he jokes

“ I don’t look like a tomato and No, I will not look at you” you reply angrily.

“That’s a pity, we’re here.” Cole stops the car.

“Let me get that door for you,” he says and walks out of the car.

“NO, I will get it myself” you quickly try to get out of the car to avoid looking into Cole’s eyes. I mean, he just told you that he knew about your crush all along! HOW EMBARRASSING. Cole knows you like him. I wonder how long he had known and kept it to himself.

Cole snickers as he watches you try to avoid his gaze and run inside your house, “Wait (y/n)! Wait” he runs behind you. You refuse to listen, “GOODNIGHT”

He quickly grabs you by the hand, “Wait.”

As you turn around to face him, he hastily cups your face and places his lips onto yours.

Your first kiss with Cole. It was slow. It was soft. It was warm.

It was magical.

The cold breeze, the moon, the car, the porch, you, him.

He slowly breaks the kiss and looks into your eyes with the most beautiful smile. His eyes glisten, running his fingers to the side of your cheek, he says in a low tone, “ I wish you weren’t so easy to read. I’m going to miss seeing this doll of mine every morning.”

anonymous asked:

Did I miss something from the manga because I have no idea what's up with Sasuke and Tomatoes

LMAO no you didn’t miss anything from the manga. In the databooks released years ago it was revealed that Sasuke’s favourite food is tomatoes and that he hates sweets and natto, thus began the inside joke that is sasuke x tomatoes. It’s hella weird to me bc he isn’t, not once, shown to be eating a damn tomato in the entire series?? But it’s a cute quirky fact: local ninja and future ‘criminal’ loves red salad friendly fruit


Purikura feif prints I will have at anime expo (table C41)! Do you pick hoshido, or nohr? ;) 

Guna try for holographic printing~ (prints will be w/o watermark; 8.5x11in) 

Also on twitter: [x]

s-mars46  asked:

Hi first time ever bothering with a request. I really like your writing style and I would like to see your aproach for SS and #87? :) Thank you!

87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

hahaha, i could only think of this! :) thanks for requesting ♥♥

They were some of his favorites, the round yet imperfect shape of each tomato that sat on the plate. Sakura’s emerald green eyes watched as he emerged from inside, welcoming her on their back porch.

The summer sun had been scorching hot that day, turning her ivory skin to a faint red, her nose the brightest of red she’d ever seen.

“Looks like a tomato,” Sasuke joked with a dry voice, a smirk gracing his lips.

Sakura couldn’t help but blush lightly, a smile on her own face as she lightly punched his arm. She knew he was referring to her sun burnt nose, the way it glowed in the dim light that the sun had to offer.

With a gentle breeze, Sasuke reached to the plate before plucking a simple tomato from it and plopped it in his mouth. The satisfaction was seen as he chewed and swallowed, a mellow smile forming on his face.

“How are they? Although they’re late bloomers, I managed to harvest them in time. They’re a little on the small side, but it works out,” Sakura noted, looking out to her beautiful garden.

Sasuke nodded his head gently before taking another from the plate, a low hum coming from his throat. “Hn.”

Sakura smiled before leaning back to her hands and watching the pink skies overhead turn to a burnt orange, the clouds reflecting the golden rays of light. Silence transcended upon them, and with that, comfort. It’d been awhile since it was just the two of them, peacefully enjoying a late summer night in the confines of their home.

It hadn’t been like this since they returned home from their travels; just the two of them, welcoming each day with a different outlook than the day before, not sure what would happen or when it would happen. Now, they were back in the Leaf, in a home of their own and happily married.

“Why do you like them so much?” Sakura finally asked, her eyes still scanning the green of her plants.

Sasuke remained with an expressionless face, his fingers reaching for another. The number of tomatoes had diminished rather quickly, and while she waited for his answer, she felt the weight of her body begin to lean forward.

“Why do you like dango so much?”

“Touché,” Sakura grumbled, her eyes turning to the remaining tomato on the plate. She could feel her curiosity rising; maybe she could like the particular fruit if she tried it. 

Before Sasuke could pluck the last piece of fruit from the plate, Sakura had already managed to grab it and bite into half of it, her teeth beginning to chew it. At first, the flavor was rather bland, almost sweet. The texture in her mouth was what weirded her out next.

As Sakura’s face began to twist with discomfort, Sasuke grabbed the remainder of the tomato from her hand and shot her a dangerous look. Sakura only swallowed what was left in her mouth, her eyes quickly meeting Sasuke’s mismatched orbs, a sheepish smile rising to her face.

Sasuke looked pissed off, but rather amused. Not only did Sakura try another one of his tomatoes yet again, but the dissatisfaction that crossed her face was what caused his amusement. Sakura felt the embarrassment wash over her like a wave, her face now matching the burning feeling of her sun burnt nose.

“Shouldn’t have done it if you knew you didn’t like it,” Sasuke commented before eating the remainder of the fruit, a simple smirk resting on his face. “Your cheeks look like tomatoes now, too.”

For my birthday I finished the More Blood English Dub. My boyfriend kept making tomato jokes cuz Yuma and laughed when he learned Karlheinz’s name. Then he suggested to write “Happy Birthday Little Bitch” on my birthday cake. When I glared at him he then suggested “Happy Birthday You Great Piece of Meat” and continually replayed the cutscene where Shu says ‘You’re hot.’ He then wanted to continue replaying the scene where he calls Yui a piece of meat. 

Oh and he made me pancakes and asked how I liked my Yui’s. 

Literally everything he’s done today has been related to this dub and it’s hilarious.