CLYDE: Oh my god! Yes, okay. It was so great and it’s going to take a lot of explaining, so first I’ll explain what led up to those pictures in the first place.
CLYDE: So class just got out for the day so Tweek, Craig, and I were headed to Craig’s place to hang out.
CLYDE: If you’re wondering where Jimmy and Token are in this scenario, they were both staying after school. Token had music club because he’s a dumb music nerd, and Jimmy was editing the school paper that evening.
CLYDE: But yeah, so I was talking to Tweek about something, I don’t really remember what. I think it might have been about transformers? It doesn’t matter.
CLYDE: While I was talking to him, I noticed that Eric was getting pretty close to Craig, who was right next to Tweek because they’re really REALLY committed to the whole hand holding thing. Seriously, whenever they’re walking somewhere it’s like they’re hands are literally glued to each other.
CLYDE: Anyways, Eric was walking right next to Craig at this point, which was kind of weird because he doesn’t usually hang out with Craig alone, but Eric does some weird things sometimes so I didn’t really question it. Until…
CLYDE: I think maybe Eric bumped into Craig on accident? Either way Craig looked really pissed. Tweek almost spilt his coffee, too. Don’t worry though, he didn’t. The coffee part is still coming.
CLYDE: Craig was immediately on the offensive, and Tweek didn’t look too happy either. Nobody knew what was going on. Except for Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, who were in the crowd. They looked like they knew what was going on? I’m not sure.
CLYDE: Craig, though. He looked really pissed. It wasn’t like him, because he doesn’t usually let Eric or any part of his group get to him. Not since that Peru thing. Not even before then.
CLYDE: And he wen’t all like “Dude, I’m not going to do it! Stop being a dick!”
CLYDE: I wasn’t really sure what this meant, so I pulled out my phone and I was ready to record him and Eric fighting. It really looked like Craig was going to leap over to him and break Eric’s jaw.
CLYDE: He didn’t, though. Instead, Eric spoke up before anything else happened.
CLYDE: “Bro, take it easy! I don’t know why you gotta throw names! I just bumped into you. Don’t take it so personally.”
CLYDE: By then I wasn’t too sure if it was an accident or not, but I kept quiet like the rest of the crowd.
CLYDE: And then Craig went “You know what you did. Knock it off!”
CLYDE: Tweek looked really confused and then HE was like “What’s going on, I don’t understand!”
CLYDE: Then Eric went “It’s nothing. Nothing at all. Craig’s just got his lacy lady thong in a wad. By the way, Tweek, nice coffee.” and started to walk past Craig.
CLYDE: It was really weird how he complimented his coffee because he couldn’t even see it, it was just a white cup. Maybe it was some sort of secret code phrase? I don’t know.
CLYDE: After that, as Eric was passing by Craig, it looked like he whispered something to him. I didn’t hear what he said if he did. I don’t think anybody did.
CLYDE: Craig didn’t look like he liked what Eric said, though. I was really waiting for Craig to punch Eric, or something. That usually would have happened at this point. Instead, what happened next was… I don’t really know how to describe it.
CLYDE: Craig walked out in front of Tweek, and he seemed like he wasn’t going to enjoy what was going to come out of his mouth next.
CLYDE: He said “Tweek,”
CLYDE: Tweek was like “What’s wrong, Craig?” and he was looking all worried and junk. Whenever he’s nervous, Tweek starts taking little sips of coffee if he has it on hand. It probably wasn’t the best time to be doing that, considering what was about to happen.
CLYDE: So then Craig was like “Do you like sugar in your coffee?”
CLYDE: Everyone looked confused because of what Craig just said. I was, too. I was still holding my phone out, by the way. In case anything epic happened. (Something epic totally happened btw.)
CLYDE: Then Tweek said “What? You know I don’t.”
CLYDE: Tweek looked like he was about to offer some to Craig, like he thought maybe Craig was asking for some? I don’t think Craig likes coffee. I’ve never asked.
CLYDE: But anyways, before Tweek could say anything, Craig said something. Eric was watching from behind Tweek, and he looked like he was in on whatever was happening here.
CLYDE:“That makes sense. Because you’re plenty sweet on your own.”
CLYDE:CAN YOU BELIEVE HE SAID THAT? It was adorable. Craig didn’t look happy, though. He looked sorta embarrassed.
CLYDE: So, of course, I thought this was the best time to take a picture of Tweek, because I wanted to capture his reaction to such a shitty pick up line.
CLYDE: And that’s where this picture came from:
CLYDE: Eric was laughing his ass off from behind the scene. Everyone else was either shocked or they were trying to hold in their own laughter. It was such a big build up for something so cheesy.
CLYDE: But so yeah, Tweek chose the wrong time to take a sip of coffee while Craig said that, and ended up spitting coffee (and a lot of spit afterwards because he kept spitting far after all of the coffee was gone) all over Craig.
CLYDE: And so I got a picture of Craig, too.
CLYDE: Or, I tried to, and he immediately started flipping his shit and blocked my view.
CLYDE: God, it was so great.
CLYDE: But this wasn’t even the part that made this so funny, even if it was already pretty awesome to begin with.
CLYDE: And I’m pretty sure the next part is the part that Craig and Tweek didn’t want people to know about, too.
CLYDE: Like, I’m sure they would have already been pissed off if I shared this part of the story alone, but what happened afterwards was just so… I’ll just say that you wouldn’t believe it if it didn’t come from the trustworthy mouth of Clyde Donovan himself.
CLYDE: But this response is already super long, so I’ll explain what happened next in another post.
When we first met
I promised myself
I wouldn’t write about you.
And when you asked me if I could keep your name out of my words if I ever did happen to make you the center of my poetry I agreed.
Because I didn’t think I’d have to write you out of my system.
I did, I did, I did.
Over the last few decades, we’ve been reminded several different times that our conventional means of generating energy can lead to extreme consequences. As long as fallible humans are involved, the risk is always present. Thus many great minds are at work developing technologies that can (hopefully) prevent such mistakes from becoming catastrophic.
One such technology, called the Tokamak Reactor, is a magnetic containment device that is one of the most researched methods for controlled thermonuclear fusion power (Yes. We are talking about a device that can harness energy using the same mechanism the powers the sun [on a much smaller scale]). The initial design was first theorized by Russian physicist Oleg Lavrentiev in the 1950s, but it wasn’t until a few years later that two Russian physicists - Igor Tamm and Andrei Sakharov - invented what we now know as a Tokamak (though their device is still based on Oleg’s initial idea).