toilet of venus

DAZZLER: BIG IN ATTILAN

Greg Pak was saying McK and I should do a Dazzler comic on twitter earlier.

It reminded me of something.

When we were doing PHONOGRAM, we were often asked in interviews about what superhero work we wanted to do. Our standard answer was Dazzler, not as we really wanted to specifically, but because we wanted to talk about our creator owned books in interviews. It was a standard answer that got a laugh, and to get back to trying to make people interested in our desperately uninteresting indie book.

However, the problem with writers is that if you even say things enough near them, they’ll find themselves thinking about it on some level. And one day I realised I had an idea for a Dazzler story.

And then you find yourself just writing them down, to get them out of your head. I did it for this story, and put it in a folder alongside such masterworks as ROBIN HOOD VERSUS PREDATOR, and expected to never touch it again. I’m not working for Marvel, and I wasn’t trying to court them. I had uninteresting indie books to try and sell.

Then Fraction mentions to me that Marvel may be looking for a Dazzler mini. I smile, polish it up a bit and lob it at Axel and Nick.

It didn’t go anywhere for reasons that will become immediately obvious - in part that Attilan had just moved off the moon, in part that it was patently apeshit - but I’m still fond of it in many ways. There’s at least two jokes I like in it a lot - the implicit one that it’s a PROG vs DISCO story set on the Dark Side of the Moon and the other which you’ll probably guess, as I mention it twice.

And on a more practical level, people do ask me what one of my synopsis/pitches look like. This is a very early version, obviously, but may be interesting for that too.

Anyway - here’s what 2007 era Gillen was thinking about the Disco Dazzler…

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BTS Reaction: What their wedding with you would be like.

A reaction inspired by this post I made about the guys proposing to you! It wasn’t requested, so I really hope you guys like it and that none of you are disappointed. For further feedback and requests, send them my way here! <3

Jungkook

It would be a wedding set in winter, before Christmas. The colors would be very neutral, with white flowers. The two of you would both be very active in the preparation, but it’d be harmonic. Neither of you would stress out, other than the rare times when Jungkook would feel tired and sit himself on the floor up against the wall as you walked around the venue with the wedding planner. The venue would be set out of town, somewhere surrounded by the woods. It would be a big, bright room with long windows, fitting a lot of guests. It would generally be quite classy, Jungkook making sure all of it was of the best quality. Both of you were quite modern in the way you dressed, Jungkook wearing a perfectly tailored suit. Now, this guy is definitely the type to cry when he sees you walk down the aisle. He won’t sob, but it’s not like his eyes will just get red, he’ll definitely be wiping a little. Jungkook’s the type of guy to still be shy around your family, even at your wedding. Just knowing that your family is there, he got shy during his vows. He thanked your parents for creating you, telling them they raised an amazing individual who continues to inspire him daily. Which would be super great, had his voice not gone up 5 octaves as he mumbled into the mic. However, as the night continued, he’d feel more and more relaxed and his eyes were fixated on you the entire night. Even when you were thanking the guests, talking to distant relatives separately, you’d always feel Jungkook’s loveinfused stare across the room.

Jin

Yours and Jin’s wedding would be set in summer, in a cute venue near the ocean. It wouldn’t fit a lot of people, which wasn’t necessary as Jin liked to keep it relatively quiet. It would fit both of your families and your friends. Similar to Jungkook, the style would be quite classy, however there’d be a lot more color here (primarily pink) and a lot more of the traditional Korean style would show in the wedding. Now, Jin would be the best host, taking charge with everything and remaining calm always. He’d take crazy good care of you during the preparation process, mostly letting you decide everything and he’d calm you down if things got hectic. He would remain in the background, smiling at your squeals when you’d found the right venue, admiring you as you busily assigned seats, letting you do your thing. He knew that as long as he married you and had the people he loved as his witness, he’d be good. Now, Jin would be a sob. He’d cry numerous times, first when he entered the place you’d get married, then when he’d see his parents all dressed up and proud, then he’d lose it when he saw you. He’d be overflowing with love and would later apologize in his thank you speech that he got so emotional. He just felt incredibly lucky to have found someone like you.

Jimin

It would be a huge party for the two of you, although it wouldn’t necessarily be particularly colorful. You’d kept it neutral and sophisticated, but you’d also made sure it could be turned into a huge party after the dinner. The preparation process would be so much fun, he’d join in on everything and always kept the mood light so that you didn’t get stressed.
“Ah, what does it matter, Jagi? As long as we can dance” he swung you around
“And kiss” he’d give you a quick kiss
“And marry each other!!!!” he lifted your hand with your engagement ring on it
“Then what’s the big deal what the color scheme is?”
He’d be so excited about it, blabbering on about it on Twitter and at interviews and with his friends. He wanted everyone to be there and he wanted everyone to see how beautiful you were. It would be a summer wedding, placed in a fancy, secluded beach-house type venue with a large dock beneath it that was full of fairy lights and a dance floor. Jimin wouldn’t cry, but he got giggly and his smile was so wide his jaw ended up hurting. The vows would be both sweet and fun and not too long. Throughout the night the sweet Jimin would disappear and his dominating side would consume him as his cute “You’re so pretty!” turned into “What I wouldn’t do to you right now…” and the two of you would feel like teens again, all hormone driven and fluttery.

Hoseok

I feel like Hoseok’s and your wedding would be a mix of Jimin’s and Jin’s. It would definitely be bright and partylike, but it’d definitely also be more intimate and more family focused. Hoseok would be a little bit more timid though, refraining from meddling too much when it comes to preparation. He trusted that you had the best sense of style and that he’d like whatever you liked. He’d really stay on the sideline, but then get really interested when you started talking about what you had chosen. It would be a wedding set in spring slightly secluded near a gorgeous river and forest. I imagine Hoseok would shed a tear, but it’d be shed with that huge smile on his face, almost as if he wasn’t noticing it. He would be so gentle with you (until the wedding was over if you catch my drift), gently caressing your shoulders as he bragged about how lucky he was to have you to the guests. The vows would be really cute and nervous and there would just generally be a magical type of sincerity in everything he did and said. There was no doubt that what the two of you were doing was right.

Namjoon

A wedding set in autumn, perhaps even somewhere abroad. It wouldn’t be large at all, it’d be super intimate and super, super romantic. Y’all know them vows would be crazy. He’d have it all prepared and then when you stood there in front of him all dolled up in your gown, he’d choke and all of his poetic magic would turn to gibberish. Namjoon would definitely take charge with the planning, making you stand in the background as the final choice maker. He’d have everything sorted, making sure that you had all the time in the world to do anything else but worry about the wedding. The venue itself would be really modern and classy, just like Namjoon. I don’t see Namjoon as the guy to tear up when you walked down the aisle, but he’d surely smile and blush like mad. Namjoon the type of guy to have lots and lots of speeches, all equally beautiful thanking different individuals. He’d be very attentive, talking a lot to every guest and making sure that everyone felt comfortable – same goes for you. He’d kiss you and dance with you and tell you a million times just how lucky he felt to be there.

Yoongi

A modern, private winter wedding, set in the heart of Seoul. A venue at the top of a skyscraper with the rooftop decorated as well. By private, I don’t mean that it wouldn’t be a lot of people. All of your friends would be there, and there’d be a lot. However, you didn’t allow anyone but the friends and family invited join in. It wouldn’t be a traditional Korean wedding at all, but rather a good party to celebrate the now official love between you two. As you had known, Yoongi was never too flustered with the thought of a wedding, but a lot of work would be put into it from his side exactly because of that. He wanted to do this for you, and God did he succeed. Yoongi wouldn’t cry when he saw you and remained calm during the entire thing, however he did seem a lot more publicly affectionate than usual. At the end of the night, Yoongi made everyone go to the rooftop where fireworks were lit up to your surprise. The vows would be quite long from his side, making sure to spoil you for the entire night. It was a new side to Yoongi and it was perfect.

Taehyung

Taehyung’s and your wedding would be a mixture of traditionally Korean and a modern wedding, which meant you had two weddings. You had your first, brief Korean wedding ceremony with your family from where you changed your attire to modern wedding outfit and held a modern wedding as well. It would be quite unique to the two of you, Taehyung maybe changing the color of his suit or wearing different shoes to be less traditional. It was a huge wedding and Taehyung would definitely cry when he saw you, sniffling during his vows. They’d be long and beautiful and funny, making you giggle as he held your hands in front of all the people. Afterwards it’d turn into a huge party in a big venue on top of the Han River. There’d be a lot of dancing with the kids, a lot of music and fun. It would be set during the summer, sometime near the date the two of you met for the first time. Taehyung would also be a great host, making sure that everyone felt important – until the two of you disappeared from the party like immature teens, getting frisky in a toilet in the venue.