toi: spinners and losers


How you fucker can be the sweetest possible term of endearment.

And also, obviously, how Malcolm and Jamie always end up having this *exact same conversation* every single time they go to the video shop to rent a dvd.


I feel like Malcolm and the Vote for Me sticker is him being crude by even his own very very very low standards, but on the other hand I’m not sure I can even tell anymore.

So I’m posting this on UK polling day 2015 (we’ll assume for the time being that there will only be the one) because even though Spinners is about a possible leadership contest and not an election, well, it does seem particularly relevant to the situation at hand.


Is Geoff Shaking His Tiny Head? Malcolm Can’t tell: Aired version vs. Rehearsal version

1. In the first gif from the rehearsal version (top right), see laughing Peter transform into deadly Malcolm in less time than it takes to draw a single breath. 

2. The aired version and the rehearsal version don’t quite line up because Aired Version Geoff puts in the extra line about NOT standing before insisting his head IS the right size. 

(Mind you, if he hadn’t put in the extra line, they still wouldn’t line up because the rehearsal scene cuts off before Malcolm’s Francophonic punchline; however, I’m quite sure Rehearsal Malcolm IS about to correct Rehearsal Geoff’s perception about the scale of his undersized noggin vis-à-vis the rest of his body.)

3. I swear that until a couple of years ago when I finally I watched the (teeny tiny) Spinners and Losers behind-the-scenes extra with the rehearsal scene showing Malcolm’s office with the lights ON and the grainy-gloomy-post-processing OFF, I never realized he had the same office in The Specials and series 3. (Seriously, it was a total revelation.)

4. The aired version of the scene and the rehearsal version of the scene equals two versions, but I would say there are actually threeish thanks to this bit from the extra

that is just different enough from what aired – mostly in terms of pauses and inflection – to make me think it’s actually an alternate take.

5. In whatever version, the ONLY person who thinks Geoff Holhurst’s head is the right size… is Geoff Holhurst.


You are going to bury this Watford arse-ache tonight.

Because tomorrow, from broadsheets to wank rags, I want pages one, two and three to be a profile of Tom looking like a fucking political colossus. Y'know: Tom meeting the Pope. Tom in an NHS hospital chatting to little, baldie kiddies.

I want pages four and five to be a timeline of the last few years of British politics, with me at the center, looking fucking indispensable and fucking benign.

And I want page six to be fucking Israel or some bullshit, not a fucking DoSaC, dipshit, legacy-distracting cock-up.

[Malcolm is the Lathe of Heaven | Spinners and Losers]


Look how quick the turnaround is filming this show.

Can you have a bit of blocking? No. Well ok maybe a bit.

Then explaining the beat of a joke, run through the joke, film the joke, nailed it.