today with all your posts

In this month of pride, let me give a shoutout to all my LGBTQIA+ people who have changed how they identify over the years. To the people still trying to figure out their identity, even if they thought they found one that fit.

You’re no less part of the community if you first identified as a lesbian, but now ID as a straight trans man. You’re not any less if you first identified as bi, but now consider yourself gay. You’re not any less if you identified as a binary trans person but now have a nonbinary identity.

Don’t let anyone convince you that you had to have known you were a certain way since you were a child to be valid. Don’t let anyone convince you that because your label could change in the future, you aren’t welcome. Don’t let anyone convince you that you must identify a certain way.

We’re all growing and learning about ourselves and maybe what fits today won’t fit a decade from now, but that’s okay. You’re not a bad person for not immediately having perfect knowledge of yourself. You’re not a fake because your identity has changed.

The Masterlist

because I know you guys loooove the anticipation…. we’re posting the authors of these little gems before the results….

Birthdays

5 Seconds

Weddings

HBP Missing Moments/AU

Public Places

DH Missing Moments

First Time

Make up Quickies

Weasley Family Functions

Parenting

My computer blue screened on me while I was writing a post so I lost it.

The gist is:

I think I’ve figured out why I haven’t been writing as much fanfic (especially AHOD, which I haven’t updated in almost a year D:). During the time I fell in love with Garrus/Shep, and almost all the time I was writing AHOD, I was Very Depressed and Very Untreated and things were Very Very Very Bad. Guys, I have lived in six homes in three countries on two continents since I started that story. So much crap has gone down in my life. So much.

Onto today’s revelation:

When I started getting proper treatment, I didn’t realize (until today!) that because Shepard/Garrus had been around through all of the Bad Time, I now subconsciously associated them with the Bad Time, and I think (also subconsciously) avoided writing about them or engaging with them too much for fear that writing about them would mean a return to The Bad Time. A nasty little voice in my head would, I think, say, “Well, here you go again. Guess all this hard work and treatment was for nothing. Back to wasting your life on a thing that’ll never pay the bills because you’re a fucking failure.” (Look, I was really depressed. I actually try not to… let myself talk to me that way? But anyway.)

Part of why I decided to ease my way back into fanfic via Any Four Walls is because that has always been my Happy Place story. Very low stress. I didn’t put unrealistic (to the point of being 1000% unattainable) expectations on myself. Since I am, right now, the mentally healthiest I’ve been in … ever, I am basically trying to retrain my stupid brain so it can see fanfic as a happy thing again and not a You Are Too Depressed To Live, So You’re Using Fanfic As An Emotional, Mental, Social Crutch thing.

And today I realized that… I think it’s working? These days, when I think about Garrus and Shepard, it makes me happy. It doesn’t fill me with a weird secret dread. I feel like there is a healthy place in my life for fic, taking up a healthy amount of time, and leaving plenty of time for work and play and original writing and friendships and my marriage.

(There was a time when that was SO NOT WHAT WAS HAPPENING. AT ALL.)

So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m hoping there’s more AHOD there. I’m probably not going to be as prolific as I once was, but I don’t think I’m going to have to back away terrified and screaming or curled up like a kicked puppy like I (see now I) kinda did there for a while. (I am really sorry because I know I lost some relationships in there. It was not you. It was me.)

So. If you’ve been here for all that time, thank you. Really and truly. If you’re one of the ones who still wants me to update that story? Honestly, thank you for caring and sticking with me. And if you like, followed me in the last week you’re probably like “WTF is she talking about??” It’s not usually this self-analyzey around here. Don’t be scared.

2

The Time to Sleep 🍂

We found a place to which we drive
And I offer you the time
To sleep - to dream
To wake up when we arrive…”

Poses: @simtrovart, thank you 💕

Fic Recs

These are some of my favourite fics to read and re-read when I’m down.  Sorted by fandom and occasional subgenre.  This list is the short version - and if I rec a fic by an author I would gladly say that anything by the author is worth reading.    #please check individual fic tags for warnings/ships/etc

Names in brackets are AO3 alias’ if they aren’t @ its because I don’t know or can’t link to their tumblr (or they don’t have one).

The problem with rec lists is that I could go on and on for ages and people who don’t get mentioned can feel left out like their writing isn’t good enough.  I hope that whether I have or haven’t mentioned you here that you know that your writing is good! its amazing! its wonderful and worth putting your time and effort into and I appreciate it so much!  I just had to cut this off at some point.

*sends love and hugs to the writers*

Star Wars (current obsession - buckle up lovelies)

RE-ENTRY + JOURNEY OF THE WHILLS - by @deadcatwithaflamethrower (flamethrower).  This fic kept me sane when I was struggling badly last year.  Re-Entry itself is complete; the sequel series Journey of the Whills is ongoing.  Qui/Obi is the main pairing though there are others.  This got me into star wars fics and meant that I found a wide circle of awesome fics writers on tumblr and ao3 who are kind, lovely and talented.  (IN A LONELY PLACE is a great fic by the same author and is smaller in size if you want something to get started with.  It’ll break your heart ten different ways but its so worth it)

BALANCE  by @norcumi and @dogmatix.  this series is partly Star Wars fic, partly Re-Entry fic and wholly itself.  As someone who is a big fan of Grey-Jedi and middle way paths I love this series and it is also on my Re-read when down to feel happy again list.  Ongoing series.

PULSION by @poplitealqueen part of her larger Frisson AU that looks to be super exciting this is a story set during the Rako Hardeen arc from the Clone Wars.  One of the things I love most about this story is the way Pop creates anticipation and her pacing is spot on.  Currently ongoing (on hiatus in Feb)

COURSE CORRECTION by @freakishlemon Though only two chapters and currently ongoing I would highly recommend keeping an eye on this awesome time-travel fic. I adore the opening scene and the change that comes is epic and I love it.  Makes me smile.

CORUSCANTI ROSE - by @the-last-hair-bender (emocezi)  I didn’t realise I needed this fic until I read it.  And then I was like HOLY SHIT!  Its a really interesting look into what could become of Obi-Wan when the Jedi Order kicks him out. Ongoing (pretty please)

PERILS OF ELECTROCUTION TO SITHLY PLANS - by @ilyena-sylph and @bow-weaver (Merfilly)  These lovely writers have a ton of awesome fics and so I picked this one as my favourite; it’s a great read and the characterisation is really spot on. Complete

AND YET, I LOVE YOU STILL - by @punsbulletsandpointythings Bail/Breha/Obi OT3 of my heart.  I adore this so much, its a rareship and there’s just so many great moments that made me smile and its sweet as chocolate mousse. 1 shot, complete.

TANO AND KENOBI - by @fireflyfish  Ahsoka has gone back in time and Obi-Wan is a soon-to-age-out Initiate.  Can she convince Qui-Gon to accept her Grandmaster as a Padawan or does the Force have a different plan.  EPIC! DELIGHTFUL! There’s a gorgeous duel in there that just had me visualising so hard I nearly missed my train stop.  First season is complete.

OLD MAN LUKE - by @scarletjedi  Old Man Luke is thrown into TCW era universe.  Beautiful characterisation, caught my eye and then my mind and finally my heart.  There’s something kinda awesome about a fic where Luke is old enough to be Anakins dad.  Ongoing

(not fic but I want to give a shoutout to @wolveria and her amazing Star Wars AMVs which you can find here)

Dragon Age (previous/concurrent obsession)

LOOKING GLASS - by @feynites.  An elegant and epic HUGE fic that’s spawned AUs and crossovers and all sorts of goodness.  Time-Travel fic where Lavellan is sent back to Ancient Elvhenan.  And there’s a group of authors on tumblr who have OCs and crossovers all of which are awesome. - shoutout to @circadian-rhythm‘s Janiculum and @mayaiai’s In an Elvhen World

LOGOLEPSY - by @weatheredlaw and @vehlr Cass/Varric in letters.  This will make you feel all the feels.  I highly recommend the entire series and also having some alcohol and chocolate on hand when you read it. 

FELL FAR FROM THE TREE - by @dammithawke and @hawkeabelas (LinnyBear)  An interesting twist on DAI - with a young girl as Inquisitor and as she’s Hawke’s daughter you know you’re in for a wild ride.  Unfinished but still very much worth the read.  I adore seeing Hawke and Fenris as parents.

THE UNENDING WAKE -by harellanart a really interesting Solavellan story. Would also recommend the sequel/AU Those Who Forget.  It captures all the heartbreak and heartache that comes from being set post-Trespasser.

WALKING IN CIRCLES - by Milee_Cosgrove  Solvelyan fic, a what if scenario (what if Solas was captured by Templars and taken to a Circle) really heartbreakingly written, a vivid look at life within Circle walls, a great cast of characters and the last few chapters have been intense and heartbreaking.  Ongoing.

MGiT AUs

DISLOCATED SOULS + DISLOCATED SOULS: SKYHOLD - by LonelyAgain  a diary style fic, really well written.  MC is not the Inquisitor, is from Earth, is not the only one from Earth. Lots of interesting social justice themes and a look at the inquisition from a working elf’s POV. Dislocated Souls is complete, the sequel is ongoing.

SIGHS AND RAISED EYEBROWS - by @i-dropped-the-chief (seeing_blue) this starts in Kirkwall and covers the events of DA2 as well as DAI.  MC is the inquisitor and Alaran is just such an incredibly interesting OC, I love her.  Also its really cool to sort of see the events of DA2 from someone else’s perspective.  Currently Ongoing.

THERE AND BACK AGAIN - by ElyssaCousland.  A DAO fic wherein the MC is from Earth and goes back and forth between the two worlds.  Not the Warden but helps the Warden and others in defeating the Blight along with a lot of other things along the way.  Currently ongoing.



Plus A Smattering of Critical Role

AFK: A critrole MMO AU - by @shippeh  This is really cool, I adore the way shippeh captures the interactions of VM in this modern setting.  There’s lots of great scenes, things that make you smile and things that make you cry.

TRY AGAIN TO GET IT RIGHT by TazmainianDevil  A time travel AU wherein VM find themselves in Whitestone at a critical point of history and ensure that things don’t happen the same way twice.

WHEN THE WICKED PLAY by @shadowedhills (seimaisin) Perc’ahlia and modern AU and holy hell there’s some wicked wicked stuff that will leave you fanning yourself in here.  Currently ongoing.

BONUS MENTION:

Discworld -
An Exert from: THE PATRICIANS HAT by @thebibliosphere (Demmora)  its just. perfect.

@crayonmod , who asked #20 for Cerise: Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when their favourite song comes? 

Cerise LOVES musicals!  She also loves music in general. She’s trained in dancing and singing, and loves her old record player. As for what she does when her fave song comes on, one of her fave times is getting down and silly with Lilyfeather and of course dear Frankie. 

“Chris doesn’t have that reputation because guys don’t go around calling other guys sluts” - Noora Sætre.

On the Gishwhes Facebook live stream today I asked a question in the comments section. I wanted to know if the winners trip accommodates Jewish people who can only eat kosher, like me.
I got a lovely response from a previous winner, as well as an informative one from the official Gishwhes.

And then I get a comment from some hateful gisher who wants to know if she’ll be accommodated if she only eats k**e.

Of all the places to experience vehement antisemitism and to have a slur directed at me on Tisha B'Av of all days, I didn’t expect it from the Gishwhes community. Not gonna lie, I’m nearing tears. If you know the history of Tisha B’Av, you’ll know why this is making me have a more emotional response than I normally would have.

I’ve never been called that before. And the first time it happens to me is connected to Gishwhes, the thing that brings me some of the happiest moments in my life.

Am I over-reacting? I don’t know. But honestly this has made it real to me, more than anything else, that antisemitism really is everywhere. If I can experience it from Gishwhes, there’s really nowhere to get away from it.

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that when you reblog a post, you have full editing power over the original caption. Sometimes thats funny, sometimes it’s not—but in any case it’s something that’s concerned a lot of you for a while now. We’re finally fixing it.

Starting today, people will be able to reblog your posts with all of its captions intact, or with all of them removed, but they won’t be able to edit your words. Phew.

Questions?

How do I reblog now?

Same as you’ve always done: Hit the reblog button, type your comment in the caption box (or not!), and click “Reblog.”

Can I still remove the comments?

Yup! We just said that. Go for it. Hit the reblog button and click on the X that appears when you hover over the comments.

Aren’t the mobile apps already like this?

Exactly. We’re trying to keep the Tumblr experience consistent across platforms. Consistently good, we hope.

Okay, how do I reblog starting with a caption that’s in the middle of a reblog chain?

If you want to reblog from a certain point in the thread, you can do that the same way you always have. Just click on the username of the last comment you want to appear in your post, and reblog directly from their post (there’s a reblog button in the top right-hand corner of the page).

This all brings added integrity to the reblog process and ensures that your comment remains as-typed in the reblog chain, forever and ever amen. Nobody should be able to put words in your mouth! You can think for yourself. And I mean, you have plenty of words in there already. PLENTY.

Tiny dog goodness via laughterkey, dogjpeg, and meilute02.

Confession...

Hate me if you want but I wanna talk about it. Or at least get this out.


From 2014 to 2016, I was emotionally and sexually involved with a man who is in a relationship. For the first 6 months, I was completely unaware of it. But after I found out, I didn’t end it. It fucked with me emotionally of course but nevertheless, I stayed. He was everything I wanted…. Correction, he is everything I want. He challenges me mentally. He teaches me. He tells me when I’m wrong. He lifts me when I’m down. He knows about my depression and does not treat me differently. We have intellectual conversations​ on a level that I’ve never had with someone I’ve been connected to. He reminds me of my dad. I see myself in him. I see myself with him. I love his ambition. I love his drive. I love being in his presence. Simply sitting near him gives me the greatest calm I’ve ever experienced. I’ve opened up to him emotionally more than any other person I’ve been involved with. He’s sweet. He’s beautiful. He’s everything.

And he’s engaged to be married…. I didn’t find out until nearly 6 months after…. (This doesn’t excuse what I did at all. I’m just saying it because it breaks my heart.)

Wtf have I done to myself?

I ended things at the beginning of the year because his fiance gave birth to his child. I was not about to be the person who could potentially tear a father away from his son. We have enough of that in our community. I could no longer contribute to the heartbreak and unhappiness of another black woman… I also did it for me. There’s no future in this. If I'ma be in pain emotionally, I’d rather be in pain on my own. I still feel guilty though. I made a decision to stay with a man that was not mine. I made the decision to reduce myself to something that I am not. I made the decision to hurt another black woman. I’ve been hurt that way before… Why tf would I want that to happen to someone else…..

Now I’m doing a LOT of self evaluation. Clearly something has gone awry in me that allowed me to participate in such a situation and I HAVE to correct it. I have to heal myself so that I don’t allow myself to be taken advantage of. So that I don’t give myself lower than what I deserve. So that I don’t treat myself lower than what I am worth. This was all me. And I’m learning that it’s not him I have to forgive. I have to forgive me. I have to stand up and decide not to walk in the footsteps my mother left before me. I’m going to create a new path. I’m going to walk in a direction no woman in my family has ever walked. I will no longer operate beneath who I am….

3

“thank you for coming to this dorm, thank you for giving me a new reason to live, thank you for fighting with me, thank you for being my friend, thank you, for simply being born into this world.”

i’m sorry i’m a sucker for cheesy and gay headcanon. i think i’ve been posting art when no one else is awake lately…

dreammeposts  asked:

I so desperately wanted somthing good today so I decided re-read some of your old posts. They all are so great! But I found out that there is no Saeran and V in request about Wedding night with RFA:(. Can you please do them too when you have time? These two guys really deserve something so sweet!

Thank you, you’re really sweet <3 I’m so glad I’m bringing you this much happiness, and feel free to alwways talk to me if you feel like it, okay?

So here it is:

Wedding night: Saeran and V 


Saeran

  • “Okay, I heard about runaway brides and runaway grooms, but this is crazy.” Zen stated to Jaehee.
  • “And the best man is missing too.” Jumin said. “What? Saeyoung isn’t here either?”
  • “No, I checked twice, the three of them just… disappeared.” Yoosung said breathlessly, as he came in running.
  • Nobody wanted to say it loud, but they were all thinking the same: the twins’ father. Did he take you as hostage and forced the tins to come with him without resistance?
  • You and Saeran let your phones in the hotel, Saeyoung had his, apparently, but it kept going to voicemail, which was already filled with messages from Yoosung.
  • Jumin was getting ready to send a force task after the three of you. But Saeyoung finally picked up. “Saeyoung, what’s happening? Are you okay? Are MC and Saeran okay?” Yoosung sounded desperate, but he was so relieved
  • “Yeah, they’re great! Just chill, bro.” “How can I chill? The bride and the groom are missing!” “They’re not missing, they’re fine and in the way of their honeymoon.” “What? How can they have a honeymoon without the wedding?” Zen asked as Yoosung put the call on speaker.
  • “Yeah, here’s the thing… there won’t be a wedding…” “What?” all of them asked at the same time. “Well, you should hear this from them, but they decided they aren’t ready for a wedding right now.” “But are they ready for honeymoon, huh?” Jumin asked, his personal beliefs were very clear here.
  • “Well, I’m not in the position to judge and neither are you. Let them be happy as they want. Okay, gotta go! Something just came up! Ba-bye!” he hangs up “Where were we?”
  • “The part about me taking this man to be my lawfully wedded husband?” you say, smiling. “Seriously, what kind of minister answers his phone in the middle of the vows?” Saeran glared at his brother.
  •  “I’m not a real minister, bro, I’m just doing this because you two insisted in having a smaller ceremony.” Really smaller, as it were only the three of you, and a squirrel walking by in the park you two chose to have this symbolic ceremony. So what if it wasn’t official? What you two shared felt official for a while now…
  • “Yeah, whatever. And what’s with the honeymoon thing? Tmi, stupid!” “Well, that was the only way to make them feel uncomfortable about asking anything else, you’re welcome. And can I say you’re very cute saying ‘tmi’, brother? You’re cute, Saeran” Saeyoung teased him.
  • Saeran was ready to pick up a fight, but you cupped his face with your hands, forcing him to focus on you. “This is not a moment to fight, this is about love, remember?” How could he forget? You looked like you just stepped out of one of his dreams, the ones he never thought he could have a few years ago.
  • “Yeah, of course. I’m sorry.” He said, blushing. You wanted to squeeze his cheeks, but that would only make him more flustered, and he hated being flustered in front of his brother. “That’s fine, I know you’re just nervous. Proceed, Minister Choi”
  • “Yes, sure. So, uhm… MC, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in… ah, that’s boring and I’m not a real Minister, let’s go to the fun part… If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.” “There’s nobody here but us, idiot!” “What about the squirrel?”
  • “I swear in the name of the squirrel I’ll punch you, Saeyoung!” you glare at him, Saeran chuckles at your sudden change of mood. “Ahhh, don’t! Your punches really hurt! Uhmm… with the powers vested in me by Longcat, I now pronounce you wife and husband…”
  • “Aren’t you missing something?” Saeran asks impatiently. “Ah sure… You may kiss the bri…” Saeran didn’t even wait for his brother to finish, he pulled you for a kiss, not even caring if his brother was watching.
  • “Let’s go, Mr. Squirrel, I think honeymoon just started!” Saeyoung says, almost running out of there.

V

  • He didn’t show up to the bachelor party the night before the wedding, that itself felt a little suspicious.
  • Then he wasn’t in his room on the wedding day. Jumin, his best man, kept pacing back and forth, calling him every two minutes.
  • Nobody wanted to think of this, but they were all wondering if V disappeared because he realized he didn’t forget her completely… yes, this marriage thing was so sudden! Was he trying to force himself on forgetting her? Of course this wouldn’t end up well…
  • The RFA voted as Jaehee to talk to you, she was the only one that would sound alarming enough without getting you to panic. Also, the boys were too scared of seeing you cry.
  • You didn’t even flinch. Were you also expecting for something like this? “Don’t worry. We’ll find him.” You stated. Oh… not really, you just trusted him.
  • But as soon as she let you alone, you realized how scared you were. Would he be really capable of just abandoning you like this?
  • You needed some fresh air, so you sneaked out of the room. It was a beautiful late afternoon, the sky was a mix of orange, pink and purple…
  • That did a beautiful contrast to his turquoise hair. Yes, V was there, leaning by the porch in front of the beach. You weren’t sure if you should come close, he looked like he was in some kind of trance.
  •  “Jihyun?” you asked, and he turned suddenly, almost falling when he realized you were ready. You looked like a sea nymph, a goddess of the waters.
  • “MC, I… I’m sorry, I… you look stunning, my love.” “Thank you, I dressed like that for the wedding, you know? That one with the two of us?”
  • “Yes, of course. I apologize for losing track of time. Is everybody mad at me?” “No, they’re just worried, I suppose.”
  • “Are you worried?” “Well, I… there’s this part of me who tells me not to get worried. We love each other and we want to share a whole life!” “But…”
  • “But there’s this other part of me, the one that remembers that… she is somewhere in Alaska right now… getting better. What if she gets really better, V? Will you leave me for her?” BOOM! There it was…
  • “MC, the bullet I took for her… is out of my body, but I still feel the pain. Not physically, but it let a mark on me, a reminder that no matter what I did for her, all that was left for me when it comes to her is… pain.”
  • “And when it comes to me…?” “I feel like I’m under the most beautiful sky in the world. You remind me, that no matter how wide is the world, I can spread my horizons ever further when I’m with you.” Oh… wow.
  • “I love you, MC. I wish I can put in more proper words, but… I don’t know the words that express how much I love you.” He held your hand and hugged you tenderly.
  • “Now I believe a wedding should be in session, right?” “Can we stay like this just a little longer?” you asked and he chuckled. “Anything you want, my angel.”

This was an additon to this post~