today was not a good day ice cube

3

One day i’m going to be able to purge myself from the itch to fanart for shows that I love/hate. today, unfortunately, is not that day.

ice cream gays & very warm days

yes i did name it that just to piss u off 

based on the iconic ice cream and pool boy photos of 5/15/17

warnings ; none, sfw except for a few sexual jokes

pairing ; phan obviously 

summary ; dan is a bored pool boy who works for a rich and snotty couple on the rich side of london. but somehow, flirting with the ice-cream man who works outside their mansion makes it a little better. 




God, it was hot.

Dan didn’t care how many times he had to trundle down this asphalt street in the blistering heat, he was positive he would never get used to it. He just wouldn’t get used to the ground beneath him practically melting through his sneakers, sweat dripping from his forehead into his eyes and making his hair even curlier than it naturally was. 

Dan pressed his chapped lips together, wetting them with his tongue. He looked up, pushing his hair back on his sticky forehead and searching the horizon. 

Just down the street, there he was. Prowling his usual location, practically right in front of the house Dan worked at for the largest shift of his day, his pink cart shining, the bells tinkling. 

It was a good summer job; cleaning pools. It just sucked ass when the people giving you money are power-hungry jerks with the biggest pool in the UK. 

Phil made it a little better. 

Today he was wearing a short sleeved button up that showed off his lean arm muscles quite well, as well as black shorts. He was standing behind the small cart, digging through the basket for something. Dan grinned, leaning against the cart on his elbows.  

“Hey cutie,” he said nonchalantly, reaching into the cooler and taking out an ice cube, proceeding to press it to his face. 

Phil raised his head quickly, practically hitting it on the cart on the way. Dan laughed as his face went red, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Hey, Dan.” His voice sounded annoyed, but Dan knew he wasn’t. This was just the way they talked. 

Dan examined the piece of ice before shrugging and popping it into his mouth. “You look busy today.” He giggled. “How are you not burning up out here…?”

Phil huffed slightly, standing up straight so he could fully watch Dan, tugging the collar of his shirt up to wipe his forehead, exposing a strip of pale skin of his stomach. 

“Oh trust me, I am.” He sighed. “I burn like a marshmallow. But this is my job, y’know? There’s no avoiding it.”

Dan nodded slowly, almost sleepily, considering the heat was melting down his senses. “I get that.” He glanced down at the cooler, filled with dozens of different colors. “Can I get-”

“Strawberry double-scoop, with sprinkles and a cherry.” Phil made a clicking noise with his tongue at Dan, winking. “Gotcha.”

Dan laughed lightly, watching him open one of the containers. “Damn. Do you memorize all of your customer’s orders?”

Phil shrugged. “Only the cute ones.”

A blush burned at Dan’s cheeks, but he rolled his eyes to cover it up. “Wow. Smooth.”

“You love it.” Phil looked back up at him, smiling like a four year old who had just successfully copied the bill of rights. Happy and bright. If Dan’s heart wasn’t already melted, he was sure it would melt again. 

“A little bit. But don’t get cocky.” 

Phil held out his hand, handing Dan the ice cream. Dan took it graciously, going to dig through the pocket of his slightly skimpy pink shorts. He had gotten them about a week before, definitely not so he could impress Phil. Of course not. 

“Mmh, sorry, can’t let you pay for that,” Phil said lightly when Dan held out the change. Dan frowned, his rosy lips slightly turned down. 

“Why not?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Because it’s on the house.” Phil reached down again, shutting the container and looking back up to smirk at Dan like a hyena. He pushed Dan’s hand away gently. 

“But-”

“Won’t Mr. and Mrs. annoying-ass be upset if you’re late?” Phil asked, just to change the subject. Dan scowled at him. 

“Thanks for reminding me.”

He glanced down at his wrist, noting that his arm was considerably tanned since the beginning of summer. 

“Nah, they’re gone by now.” 

Phil nodded, just as something came to Dan’s mind. He snickered, leaning forward on the cart, closer to Phil. 

“You said you’re hot, right?”




“Dan, you’re a bloody idiot.” 

Dan picked up the nervousness in Phil’s tone, and glanced back at him from the edge of the pool. He was standing right outside the gate, in the grass, fiddling with his fingers. He looked terrified, which was adorable if Dan was in any position to be thinking so. Dan giggled. 

“You’re not scared, are you?” He spun on his heel, crossing his arms in a soft of challenge. “You’re not gonna get in trouble. They’re gone, remember? Besides, this is my job.” Dan scoffed, pouting slightly. “And they pay me hardly enough, the least they could do is let me have a little fun.”

“I dunno Dan…” Phil bit down on his lower lip, searching his face. “I left my cart out there…” 

Dan groaned, walking over to him and grabbing his hand. “It’ll only be a minute. It won’t melt, it’s in the freezer.” He gave Phil his best puppy dog eyes, flashing him a smile so sweet he was sure to get cavities. “Pleasee?”

Phil sighed, unable to look away for a moment. “Fine. But only for a minute.”

“Yay!” Dan cheered, grabbing Phil’s wrist and tugging him farther into the yard. “I promise, you won’t regret it.”

Phil nodded, pulling his hand away and laughing. “I am pretty hot…”

Without warning he was stripping off his shirt, cannon-balling into the turquoise water, splashing practically the whole courtyard. Dan squealed, shielding himself from the spray. 

“Jesus, give me a warning next time you’re planning on undressing and spraying me.” Dan didn’t realize what he had said until it was too late, Phil had already winked. “Oh, shut up.” 

Phil grinned, swimming backwards and letting the water push his hair back into a quiff. “Aren’t you coming in?”

Dan grimaced. “Er, now that I think about it…”

Phil raised his eyebrows, incredulous. “Are you kidding me?”

Before Dan could think to run, the boy was pushing himself out of the pool, dripping wet. He shook his head like a dog, flicking water everywhere. “C’mere.”

“No!” Dan backed away, giggling at the dumb game he had gotten himself into. “Make me!”

“Oh I will, pretty boy.”

The words made him blush but Dan ignored it, attempting to escape to Phil’s left. Phil didn’t fall for it, grabbing him by the waist and holding him still. 

Dan thrashed, laughing and trying to push him away, but it was no use. Phil nearly flung him over his shoulder, carrying him back to the pool and throwing him in. 

Dan hit the water with a loud splash, the cool sensation flooding against the skin and causing temporary euphoria. When he came up for air, he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Good, yeah?” Phil asked, grinning and hopping in after him. 

“Yeah,” Dan replied almost dreamily. “Thanks for making me get in.”

“Hey, no problem.” Phil shrugged. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be out there in the sun.”

Then came a silence between them, but it was comfortable. Dan floated on his back, watching the trees that grew around the courtyard sway in the slight (warm) breeze. 

Finally, Phil spoke again, and Dan popped his head up to listen. 

“You know, I wasn’t kidding about what I said.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, watching Phil play with the water, moving his hands to form tiny waves. 

“What…?”

“About you being cute.” He looked up, the corner of his lips pulled up in a lopsided grin. “You’re my cutest customer, and I mean that.”

Dan could feel his face going pink again and he brought his hands up to his cheeks, whether to cool them or hide the blush, Dan didn’t know. 

“Well I meant what I said too.” Dan snickered softly. “About you being hot.”

Phil groaned. “I thought you meant temperature wise.”

“I did.” Dan shrugged, a strand of hair falling between his eyes. “That too.”

Without noticing, one of them had moved closer, (neither was quite sure who but it really didn’t matter), and Dan placed a hand on Phil’s shoulder. 

“Hey…” Dan trailed his fingertips up Phil’s shoulder to his neck, and then up to his jaw. Phil visibly shivered. “I wanna pay you back.”

“For what?” Phil asked, his voice coming out a bit hazy and distracted, distracted by Dan’s fingers mindlessly moving up and down his cheekbone. 

“For the ice cream.” Dan let out a little huffy laugh. “Lemme take you out for coffee sometime.”

Phil couldn’t even bring himself to argue. He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘no, Dan, that ice cream was free because I really like you and I hope that free ice cream makes you want to be my boyfriend’. 

“Yes,” he breathed. 

Dan smiled, and then sighed, dunking back under the water momentarily. 

“Summer, right?” He said teasingly when he came back up, making a groaning noise. 

“I dunno.” Phil shrugged, grabbing Dan’s waist and pulling him close. “Summer isn’t so bad.” 

Budgienoms

This is how I prepare fresh food for my boys. They have other combinations currently in the freezer (like sweet potato with red pepper, peas, carrots, etc) so that I can mix it up and give them something different each day. It’s a really good way of getting your birds to try veggies (I think we all know that struggle), so I thought I’d share!

Today I had half a butternut squash left over from yesterday’s dinner, so I decided to cook it up for the boys. I diced it small and boiled it until it was juuuust tender. Just before the squash was done, I threw in some frozen garden peas and a small handful of curly kale.

Drain them well!

Mash em all up!

Let it cool slightly and divide the mix into ice cube trays. Once it’s cooled down enough, you can pop them in the freezer. I normally take them out once frozen and bag them up, just to prevent them from getting freezer burn when stored in there.

Each day, I pop a meal out into a microwaveable bowl and heat it until it’s fully defrosted. You can also leave it out to thaw, but I’ve found that Pixel and Widget enjoy this better when it isn’t cold. If you do microwave it, make sure you check the temperature before giving it to your birds! Check the bowl isn’t too warm and mash the mix about with a clean finger to ensure there are no areas that are too warm! Microwaves don’t always heat evenly! I don’t serve the food until it has cooled down slightly - until it’s barely warmer than my hand.

Then serve it up and see what they think! 

YOUR 4/20 BAKE PLAYLIST

(DISCLAIMER: I would of made this a playlist on Apple but most of these songs are mixtape tracks from datpiff)


Just some BLUNT lyricism and smooth beats. (my puns be lit)

Hyyer // Kid Cudi

Super High // Rick Ross

Today Was A Good Day // Ice Cube

Dapper // Domo Genesis

How High // Method Man & Redman

Mary // Curren$y

Grooveline Pt. 1 // Schoolboy Q

1st of Tha Month // Bone Thugs N Harmony

Purple Flowers // Rick Ross

Outside // Mac Miller

Higher // Jhene Aiko

Waken Baken // Wiz Khalifa

Go (Gas) // Domo Genesis

Get Lit // A$AP Rocky

Because I Got High // Afroman

Keep Floatin // Mac Miller

So High // Doja Cat

Gas and Mud // Gucci Mane

Kush Coma // Danny Brown

Smoke Some Weed // Burna Boy

The High Life // Mac Miller

In the Cut // Wiz Khalifa

Kush Cloud // Freddie Gibbs

Purple Haze // Curren$y

Blue Dream // Jhene Aiko

Peace Prevail // Raury

Crumblin Erb // Outkast

High // Big Sean

Rotation // Wale

Flowers // Wiz Khalifa

Overhigh // Smoke DZA

The Next Episode // Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg