today on gws

i want to watch cheesy halloween movies, but my gws textbook is staring at me

there are days in which the world is blah, and sometimes duo requires some comfort–in which wufei can provide on those uncomfortable nights. a couch, a fleece blanket, a firm hand on one’s shoulder and just listening to ‘fei’s voice as he reads about his homework, or the news about random happenings in the colonies, or game stories.

it always puts duo to sleep.

Oh No, Not Again, Not Today.

Beberapa hari ini, gw akuin, mood swing gw jadi rapid cycling banget, sebentar-sebentar ganti. Sepanjang hari ngerasa fine-fine aja, and then malem sebelum bobo tiba-tiba keinget sama satu hingga beberapa hal yg bikin gw sadar gak sadar mulai netesin air mata. Puncaknya, semalem.


Gw ngerasa jadi orang yg paling nyesek. Tbh, sejak jumat punggung area tulang ekor itu sering nyeri, dan itu nyiksa banget, berujung ke susah bab. Bingung, gw mesti curhat gimana ke siapa, googling pun yg ada bikin sesat. Akhirnya semalem tanya ke seorang yg sekiranya bisa bantu, gw mesti kemana kalo berobat, nemuin dokter spesialis apa. Sebelum gw tanya ke seorang itu, gw nelpon si ibu, berkali-kali dering kok ga diangkat, mulai lah maki-maki ngumpat dibalik telpon. Punya emak yg ga bisa diandelin saat gw sakit kek gini. Dari sini mulai ketrigger dan nangis bombay yg lebay. Mulai pikiran liar jalan-jalan ga jelas juntrungannya.


***

60 Euro buat cerita dengan durasi 2 jam. Sedih gw pas seorang temen cerita tentang ini. Dia bilang dia ngerasa kesepian dan ga punya teman buat numpahin segala unek-unek nya. Dia bilang teman yg bisa dipercaya cuma psikolognya, terapisnya. Prancis gaada apa-apa nya kalau depresi datang menghadang. Now i feel her. Banyak sebenernya yg nawarin diri buat jadi tempat cerita dan ngobral hasrat ingin berempati, tapi mau gimana lagi, we don’t want to burden u all with our problems. And we bet that u don’t have any idea at all about what kind of respond u should have and u should have not give to us. Right?


Ada orang yg seperti itu, banyak. Memendam segalanya sendiri, kalau ga kuat tinggal call, ask, and seek professional helps. Ada yg bilang sebuah pelukan bisa meredakan atau membuat seseorang merasa lebih baik, well gw gatau rasanya gimana, karena gw masih ngandelin amitriptyline buat ini. Dulu gw percaya kalo uang bukan segalanya, selama lo punya orang-orang yg senantiasa ada buat lo. Tapi kalo gw gapunya itu? Siapa yg bakalan setia sama gw? Uang. Jawabannya itu. Gw ga punya temen, tapi gw punya uang, bisa ke psikolog, bisa beli kuota streaming video motivasi sampe eneg, bisa ke psikiater, bisa beli buku, bisa beli baskin robins. Menyedihkan? Gw akuin iya!


It’s okay, gapapa.


Walau kadang, tepatnya sering; gw suka iri sm orang-orang yg selalu punya satu atau dua orang yang bisa dia andelin, yg bisa dia curahkan segalanya. If only i could be that person. Ada pepatah yg pernah bilang, yg intinya be that one person. Jadilah orang seperti apa yg kamu inginkan. Jadilah seorang teman yg selalu kamu inginkan. Gw udah coba itu. Berusaha selalu ada buat temen gw mencurahkan segalanya, jadi senderannya. Dia mau cerita apa aja, gw selalu pasang kuping ala yoda. But i don’t get the same thing in return. Lalu, gw bertanya ke diri sendiri, apakah gw pamrih dalam berteman? Dan apakah itu salah? Gw juga manusia. Ada seorang yg cerita mulu tntg dirinya, gw selalu nunggu, kapan ada giliran gw buat cerita balik? Tiap gw mau dan sedang cerita selalu dicut, selalu muncul keakuan dari sisinya yg berujung lanjutan dari ceritanya dan ceritaku jadi kepending.

*Dia=jamak.


Oh lord, again? Takdir mungkin jadi gw yg dirancang buat jadi pendengar yg baik, yg dirancang untuk bercerita melalui tulisan dalam kesenyapan, yg dirancang untuk handle semuanya sendiri.


Beruntunglah kalian yang selalu punya seenggaknya satu orang aja yang setia nemenin jungkir baliknya alur hidupmu, yg selalu ada dalam setiap fase hidupmu. Itu nikmat tiada tara yang kalau ga disyukurin, bisa dicabut sama Allah. Karena dulu gw punya seorang kawan seperti itu, tapi sesayangnya gw sama dia, Allah lebih sayang dia. Gw iri.


***

Hari ini sebenernya gw bersemangat buat beraktivitas. Tapi pikiran depresif dan suicidal tiba-tiba datang menghampiri, bikin gw loyo dan enggan bangkit dari kasur. Pusing ga ketulungan, mungkin gara-gara habis nangis ngejer sampe jam 2 dini hari.


Udah nemuin dokter, minta surat izin sakit buat bolos kuliah, seenggaknya buat 3 hari ke depan.



Jatinangor, 18 September 2017.

3

Genestealer cults have officially returned!

Found out the other day from a friend with very reliable sources that ‘Stealer cults were being brought back and today GW made the announcement.

I’ve already got a pre-order in for the codex and a box each of the Acolytes and Neophytes (shown above, all pics from GW’s web store).  My brother knows a good online store that has weekly discounts and they have a pre-order discount going for the new kits right now.  Got the codex and kits, which together would run about $130, for $100 even from the discount sale.

Can’t wait to see what the Cult’s rules and fluff are like and I’ll definitely be talking about it some when I get my order.

anonymous asked:

Hey uh, idk if this is okay but I've been stuck at the same weight for over a week now (from binging mostly) and I could really use some encouragement because I'm s o close to my next goal weight and I could totally reach it by the end of this week if I just, worked hard enough

I’m in the same sort of rut right now and I have to keep on reminding myself of this thing I read a while ago that went something like this:

If eating right - so a little healthy, low cal food - today was all it took to wake up at your goal weight tomorrow, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?
If all it took was leaving those crisps, ignoring those cookies, just today to be at your GW tomorrow…

Now do that every day. Imagine that tomorrow you will be at your UGW if you just eat right today.
And one day? It will happen.

You got this xxx

5

Gallavich Week - Day Two
↳ Come What May (Future)

Ian: “I, Ian, take you, Mickey to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
Mickey: “I promise to love and honor you through good times and bad, in sickness and health.”
I: “For richer or poorer as long as we both shall live.”
M: “As I give you this ring, so I give you my heart.”

“May the love you share be the bond that brings you strength and comfort and joy all the days of your lives. It’s a great honor to pronounce you
Ian Clatyon Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich – husbands for life.”