today doesn't seem like a very good day for a lot of people

wordmage-girl  asked:

Why do you want to fight Nicholas Sparks? And how would you challenge him (thrown glove, e-vite, etc)?

Thrown glove, definitely. This has to be PERSONAL, even though my problem with him is really everything he represents.

I have talked before about how his brand of dreck has basically killed the romcom, but I don’t think I’ve talked about why I hate his brand of dreck, so gather around, chickadees, for “How do I hate thee, Nicholas Sparks? Let me count the ways.”

1. Tragedy porn. Look, honestly, I liked “A Walk to Remember.” Mostly because of “Only Hope” and Shane West’s face, but I liked it (if I watched it today, even divorced from the whole of Sparks’s canon, I would hate it, but that’s a separate issue). But as time went on and I watched a couple more of his movies and then heard about the others, it’s just … look. I know that we make stories to make people feel a certain way. We want to elicit an emotional response. And that’s a good thing, you know? And I know I rail about darkness and sadness a lot, but I’m not even saying that stories should only try to elicit good emotions. That feels shallow.

But with Nicholas Sparks and other tear-jerker-type stories (see: reasons I never got into Grey’s Anatomy, reasons I’m more likely to read straight-up darkfic than what people call “sads”), the emotional manipulation is incredibly blatant and formulaic and … I don’t know, is “cheap” the word I want? I don’t see the point in a story that says “Here’s a thing you love. Fate is going to take that thing you love from you. The main character is going to lift their chin like Scarlett O’Hara and say ‘tomorrow is another day!’“ I don’t feel like it’s something the creator is sharing with me, I feel like it’s something they’re trying to do to me, and I don’t take kindly to that.

2. White Cis Hets Touching Foreheads.

3. His whole brand is marketed to women, books and movies both, they’re chick flicks, date movies, stuff For the Women, but he sure is a dude. Not that men aren’t allowed to write romances, but it’s just that slimy feeling of “a wise man making money off all those silly weepy romantic women” rather than “a wise man showing that it’s okay for both women and men to cry over a love story where tragic things happen.” Like. Nora Roberts sure doesn’t have this kind of franchise. And I can’t say I enjoy reading Nora Roberts, but one could excise the sex from her books and make movies and market them to women, but somehow nobody got to be a romantic-book-adaptation juggernaut until Sparks. Partly because he’s a man and partly because

4. Happiness Isn’t Art. There seems to be this implication that because things end badly, because they’re sad, because they make you cry, it’s okay that they’re romantic. The sadness makes sure that they’re art. And fuck that, honestly? Tearjerkers are fine, whatever, they can (and should, I don’t want to stop people writing for the genres that appeal to them) exist in the world even if I don’t want to consume them, but nobody in this world gets to tell me that the unhappiness elevates them higher than the romcom. That it’s better than Nora Roberts not because he’s a man but because the sadness makes it somehow more worthy.

5. Look at that face. Tell me you don’t want to punch that smug face.

6. Sometimes you just read a book or watch a movie and know that the person behind the story is ideologically opposed to you in pretty much every possible way.

Just to sum up, I guess … I’m a person who loves reading and writing love stories. I always have been, since I was a little kid. If there’s tragedy and difficulty along the way, sure, I’m willing to go along with that, but when there’s someone who consistently says “no, this is only worthy if I take happiness away from you, because happiness isn’t art, because romance is only worth of attention if tragedy interrupts it,” then I get ready for a fight. And since he’s very much the trend leader there, I am pretty much ready to meet him in the pit at all times.

musicalluna  asked:

in the early days, steve doesn't realize the avengers care about him a lot because they are vastly different people with vastly different socialization than the commandos, but then something happens to him in a fight and the avengers collectively flip their lids and that is how he learns he is Very Important to them

Steve had never been a stranger to friendly teasing. Bucky was a little shit, of course, but so were the Commandos. He’d been called every moniker that popped into his friends’ brains: “Captain Tightpants” (long before it was a cultural reference, thank you very much), “Captain Mom,” “Twinkle Toes,” “All-American Showgirl,” “Blushing Betty,” and names far more filthy. But he’d understood why. He was the commanding officer and he was, when it came down to it, a greenie who got damn lucky 95% of the time. Dugan, Dernier, Falsworth, even Bucky, they all would have been infinitely more qualified to be CO, and so he knew where the teasing was coming from. He knew it was his men’s way of telling him they cared for him while keeping his ego in check. (Bucky could’ve told them Steve was a good enough self-critic as it was and they all could just damn well stick to the dancing references.)

The Avengers, though. Steve had no idea what to think of the way they spoke to him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Viktor is a barista at a coffee shop near where Yuuri works. Yuuri stops in each morning and they obviously notice each other -- there are jokes about spelling Yuuri's name wrong etc. But one morning Yuuri walks up to order and Viktor already knows his standard order and that makes Yuuri super anxious because he doesn't like people remembering him since it feels like a lot of attention so he stops going to the coffee shop in the morning... take it away :D

Yuri or Yuuri?

length: 1.6k; rating: all ages;

“So the barista is…”

Attractive, Yuuri’s mind finishes automatically. The barista is off-putting in simultaneously the best and worst possible ways. He’s off-putting in the best way because he’s gorgeous, silver-haired and blue-eyed and everything that Yuuri’s wildest dreams couldn’t even come up with. But he’s also off-putting in the worst way because the barista’s aforementioned attractiveness makes Yuuri’s words come out in awkward, pieced-together chunks that make him appear to be an idiot.

“…nice,” Phichit finishes his phrase, smiling knowingly at Yuuri.

“He’s nice,” Yuuri agrees, dismissing the topic with a wave of his hand. He takes another sip of his drink.

Phichit takes the cup out of his hand, and Yuuri tries to grab it back, but his friend is squinting at the name written on it. Yuri. “He spells your name wrong.”

“Plenty of people do.”

“There’s no line right now. Why don’t I go correct him?”

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John is almost finished with his latest blog entry, when Sherlock suddenly calls for him from the kitchen.

“John. John!”

John sighs and stands up. He turns around, and there’s Sherlock, holding his hand and grimacing.
John frowns. “What happened?”

“I slipped with the knife,” Sherlock says and shows him his hand. John can see blood. It comes from a not so superficial gash near Sherlock’s thumb. He shakes his head. “Are you always that clumsy in the kitchen? Come on, sit down. I’ll bandage that.”

He quickly fetches his bag and when he goes back to the living room, Sherlock sits in his chair and looks at the wound in his hand with a frown.
John sits opposit of him and takes an disinfectant out of his bag.
“Give me your hand.”

When the cold spray hits Sherlock’s skin, he gasps and looks at John accusingly. “It burns,” he says dryly.

John grins. “Yes. It does. That’s normal.”
He begins to bandage the wound.

Sherlock observes him silently.

When John looks up from the now bandaged wound, he looks directly into Sherlock’s eyes. For a moment, it’s like he can’t move. He stares into Sherlock’s eyes, which are pale silver with speckles of blue today, and he feels a bit dazed.
I wonder if our life would be different, if I said or did something different at Angelos back then …
He doesn’t have this thought for the first time.
Actually, he thinks about such things very often.
He can’t prevent it from happening.
But it’s pointless and you know it.
It’s …

“John,” Sherlock says. It sounds a bit confused.

John swallows. He forces himself to smile. “You can go on now with … what were you actually doing in the kitchen?”

Sherlock inspects his hand and says casually, “I’m cooking, obviously.”

John blinks. He’s surprised. “You can cook?”

Sherlock looks at him like he’s a bit insulted. “Of course I can. But until now I didn’t see a reason to do it. It’s always a bit tedious.”

John blinks again. “But why … today?”

Now Sherlock’s look is definitely an annoyed one. “John. Did you forget your own birthday?”

Oh.

“No,” John says slowly.

But yes, he almost forgot it. Well, it’s not really a special day. Not anymore.
Harry didn’t phone him. And the rest of his family pretends that he doesn’t exist anyway. Maybe Mike will phone later. But until now, nothing has happened to remind John that it is his birthday.

Sherlock sighs. “Well, it should have been a surprise, since people seem to love surprises immensely, but now I fear I spoiled it with my stupid accident.”

“No,” John says quickly. “No, you didn’t spoil it, I’m … wow. No one ever cooked for me before. I’m … honoured.”

Sherlock looks at him for a moment, like he’s checking if John means that serious, then he smiles. “Good. I also bought wine.”

John blinks.

Sherlock finally stands up and coughs. “Thanks for your help, doctor. I continue now.”

“Okay,” John says a bit huskily. “I’ll … wait here then.”

“Yes. Wait,” Sherlock nods and goes back into the kitchen.

John remains sitting in his chair and feels very stunned.

Later, when they sit on the table, with wine and a very good meal - cooked by Sherlock, John still can’t believe it - they talk and laugh a lot. Sherlock pours him wine and asks him if he wants more from the salad. John feels good. He feels happy.

And when they’re finished, he says, “That was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

Sherlock’s smile, both a bit shy and proud, makes his chest glow and his belly tingle.

He realizes, that he doesn’t need more in his life.
He realizes, that he’s truly in love.

anonymous asked:

Honestly you seem like a very sweet person so I hope you can help me cope with my EDF (extremely depressive fictophilia) of Anakin/Vader. Everytime I think of him, I feel so bad that he doesn't care for himself, hasn't felt love in so long, has been treated so horribly by everyone... It doesn't help that I'm hopelessly in love with this guy. Ever since Conversations came out, I've been depressed because of Anakin feels alone. Help me Kae, you're my only hope.

I’m so very sorry about how long this took. It was the end of the semester, crazy with finals and getting things sorted for graduation.

This is set in my “Vader lives” AU that I started with the three sentence fics. Basically, ROTJ plays out like canon, except Luke gets his father to the Alliance in time to save his life.


Palpatine had been dead for two years. Two years today, in fact, Luke remembered shortly after he had woken up and saw the date on his bedroom’s chrono. Two years since the confrontation on the second Death Star, since the Emperor’s lightning had licked across his body and left pale scars that were visible even now, since he had dragged his redeemed father to the Alliance and demanded that they save his life. Two years since the declaration of the New Republic and his father’s second rebirth, this time as informant and military advisor to Chancellor Mothma. That had taken some convincing, and there were still many people unhappy about it, but Mothma had remembered Anakin, and it had allowed for a peace agreement to be struck with the Imperial remnant. He was too valuable to destroy, especially when Luke had thrown his fate in with his father’s. Anakin hadn’t exactly been pleased about that, but Luke knew that gamble had gone a long way towards saving his father’s life. No one was willing to kill or imprison or exile the Hero of Yavin and the last Jedi just to get rid of Vader.

Luke slipped out of his room and walked across the small apartment he shared with his father, heading for the kitchen. They could have easily afforded something larger, even considering that Anakin had donated a significant portion of his fortune to helping the New Republic get set up, as yet another sign of his goodwill. But neither Anakin nor Luke was used to extravagance, and their apartment was cozy and nice, and it meant they were constantly within seconds of each other. Just in case.

Anakin was already in the kitchen, making breakfast, standing with his back to Luke as he attended whatever was on the stove. He was always awake earlier than Luke, no matter when Luke got up, and he supposed Anakin still hadn’t gotten used to sleeping a normal amount of hours in a night. And they both still had nightmares, though the intensity and frequency seemed to be decreasing, if gradually.

“Good morning, Father,” Luke said, as he walked in. There was a mug of hot chocolate sitting in front of his place at the table, wisps of steam rising from it, and Luke grinned. He walked past it though, and ducked under his father’s arm, giving him a quick hug.

Anakin pulled him closer. “Good morning, Luke.” His voice was still quiet and raspy, the medics hadn’t been able to do anything about the damaged vocal cords, but between getting him proper medical care and Luke’s limited knowledge of Force healing, they’d been able to fix his lungs so he no longer needed to depend on life support. Luke knew that was a huge relief for his father, who was finally free of the mask and suit that Palpatine had put him in 23 years before. And Luke was glad to be able to actually see his father’s face. The scarring hadn’t healed much; there wasn’t a lot the medics had been able to do, but Luke didn’t care. The brief moment of horror he had felt when he first saw Anakin’s face had been at the thought of the pain the injuries must have caused, not at the sight of him. His acceptance of his father’s appearance helped Anakin be less self-conscious about it.

“One of these days, you will have to let me do the cooking, Father,” Luke said, knowing full well that even if his father agreed now, he would never actually let him.

“Maybe tomorrow,” his father said. Luke nudged him with his elbow and slipped out from under his arm. He walked back to the table and picked up his mug. It was still pleasantly warm, and he took a tentative sip. It didn’t scald his tongue, but it wasn’t too cold either. Perfect.

His father turned the stove off and carried their breakfast plates over to the table. They ate in comfortable silence, and once they had finished, Luke’s hand drifted down to his pocket.

“I, um, have something for you,” he said, not quite looking at his father. He pulled the two tickets out of his pocket and held them below the table. “I thought, it’s been two years, and we could use a break from the whole rebuilding-the-Galaxy thing and celebrate. I don’t know your birthday, but today’s as good a day as any, right?” Now he looked up to see his father staring at him curiously. Luke took a breath and held the tickets up, speaking quickly. “They’re running an annual race to commemorate the birth of the New Republic and fall of the Empire, and I thought you might enjoy going… with… me… What?”

Anakin was biting his lip, trying not to laugh, but his blue eyes were sparkling with embarrassed amusement. He raised his own gloved hand, holding two identical tickets. Luke groaned and dropped his head to the table just as his father lost control and started laughing.


Okay, so I can’t write pure fluff. A bit of angst always worms its way in, but I tried to make it cute and happy for you.

The Prom (BTVS 3.20)

This is part of my ongoing Buffy Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the show. You can find the full list here. Gifs are not mine.

In the words of Daniel “Oz” Osbourne, once again the hellmouth puts the “special” in special occasion. Hellhounds, oh my!

The Prom was mostly about the break up. Buffy and Angel start the episode waking up from a post-slayage nap that lasted all night. Buffy mentions getting a drawer at his place (I guess her mom has given up on dictating what the Slayer can do–she doesn’t have office hours) and he gets uncomfortable. He later sees that her notebook has “Buffy and Angel Forever” written on it with hearts. The relationship is so strange. Buffy is appropriately young and he’s just…not. 

Joyce decides to confront Angel, and it’s this second speech that finally gets to him. 

Joyce: When it comes to you, Angel, Buffy’s not a slayer. She’s just like any other young woman in love. You’re all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know there’s gonna be some hard choices ahead. If she can’t make them, you’re going to have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough.

I get that it was perhaps overstepping boundaries (and seriously uncool) for Joyce to talk to Buffy’s boyfriend. But Buffy is off to college soon and Joyce is, in her way, trying to send her off to the best life possible. And she is a little young to have such a difficult, stressful relationship. 

Angel dreams that he and Buffy get married. He steps into the sunlight, unfazed, but she burns. It symbolizes his feelings about them: it makes his life better but hers worse. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you do a scenario/reaction of the members using the skills they learned in American Hustle Life to pick up girls for their music video, but using them to flirt and ask out a girl they don't know and who doesn't speak korean? Prettypretty please !

Of course and I’m so sorry it took so long, with school and everything else in the way but I got around and finally finished it O3O

BTS Reaction Use The Skills From AHL To Pick Up Girls That Don’t Speak Korean

Jin:
You started walking to your favourite coffee shop, you really liked the coffee there and would walk there every day. You noticed a guy that is always nearby looking for something. He would ask some people but they didn’t know. Today, you saw him again, but he looked like he was approaching you. He slowly walked towards you. You couldn’t help but realize how handsome he looked.
“H-hi! I’m Jin. What is yours?” He stuttered, you could tell he a little shy to talk to you. You smiled and answered, “My name is Y/N” He noticed your pretty smile and couldn’t help but smile himself.
“I want coffee, and is the where coffee shop is?” He asked with more confidence this time.
“Um, there’s one around the corner.” You pointed out behind you, he looked so innocent trying his best to speak English. His stutters made it obvious that he didn’t speak English that well.
“I want to go to coffee shop with you.” He said, “Is that okay?” You looked at him surprised but you happily agreed with his sudden confidence.
“Sure, why not?” You smiled.
“Let’s go.” He smiled back, “Where is coffee shop again?” It seems like he was confused the first time you explained.
“Just follow me.” You laughed.

Originally posted by jinful

RapMon:
“Hey, what’s up?” A voice asked behind you, you turn around to notice a quiet interesting guy. “Hi.” You replied, you noticed his stare wasn’t on you. You could tell he wouldn’t that confident but not long after he took a deep breath and looked into your eyes. You were shocked by his sudden confidence but he continued to talk, “I like your hair style.” He smiled.
“Thanks” You smiled back at his compliment.
“What’s your name?” He asked, still staring into your eyes. He noticed your big beautiful eyes and found it easy to stare at them without losing confidence.
“Ah, Y/N” You answered, staring still back at his eyes.
“Namjoon.” He answered, shaking your hand, “I was wondering if you’re ever tried the drinks at that place?” You shake your head, telling him you haven’t.
“Well, if you want. Do you want to try some with me?” He smiled. You smiled at this guy, it was interesting that he suddenly walked up to you.
“Um, why not?” You shrugged, he smiled walked you to the store.

Originally posted by baebsaes

Jimin:
You’re walking with your friends and notice 7 guys down the street and one seem to be looking at you a lot. One guy was pushed towards your direction and he shyly walked towards you. Before reaching you, he dances forward with a grin on his face and looked up at you.
“Hey!” He greeted cheerfully. You waved and greeted him back, “I like your dance.” You chuckled, while your friends laughed at you.
“What is… um y-your name?” He shuttered, you could tell he wasn’t very good at English with his accent.
“It’s Y/N.” You answered, smiling at his cute smile. He stood there thinking hard about what to say next.
“My name Jimin.” He finally said, “I like your style.”
“Really? Thank you.”
“Do you have time?”
“Right now?” “Ah, yes.” “I want to show you some dance.” He said, before he starts to dance. You cheered at his dance before noticing that all your friends were gone. You looked at your phone, one of them texted you: “Have fun!” You shook your head at your friends.
“So? Do you want to see dance?” He asked, smiling.
“Sure.” You agreed. You didn’t know why but he had a warm feeling that no one else has. He took your hand and lead you to show you his dance.

Originally posted by vminv

Suga:
He noticed this girl while walking down the street, he couldn’t help but notice your facial features. Your face told him that you were a really nice person and someone who was really chilled. He had some confidences to approach you, even though he can’t speak English.
“Hey, I like your nails.” A guy with a snapback, wearing golden chains, and shades said.
“Hi?” You replied confused at his approach.
“Do you like?” He asked, lifting his chains. “It’s 3 dollars.”
You laughed, “Do you not speak English?” He shook his head, even though he couldn’t speak English you could tell he’s pretty cool.
“I can rap for you.” He said randomly, you laughed while nodding. Even without understand what he was saying you could tell it was really cool.
“That’s so cool.” You smiled, he smiled back.
“Are you free… tomorrow?” He stuttered with his English. You agree, having a good feeling about this guy.
“By the way, I’m Y/N. What’s yours?” You asked, realizing that he never told you.
“Suga.” He answered, giving you a gummy smile.

Originally posted by elatedkindoflife

V:
He nervously approached you, “Um, um confidence, confidence.” He mumbled to himself and turned to you, “W-what’s popping?”
“Not much, just waiting for a cab.” You answered, noticing his cute features.
“My name is V.” He continued, “Your name?”
“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.” You grinned, still looking around for a cab.
“Give me your time?” He asked, boldly.
“What?” You asked, confused, “You want my time?”
“Yes, I-I like your watch.” He smiled. You smiled at the way he tried to pick you up. It’s not usual for anyone to go up to you, and you’ve seen how guys usually pick up your friends. This was different, no guy you’ve ever seen had this kind of a sparkle in his eyes. It was warm and his smile was sweet.
“So… um give me your time please?” He asked again still smiling.
“Sure, where do you want to go?” You laughed, noticing that his smile got bigger.
“Anywhere you want.” He answered, taking your hand.

Originally posted by taestylips

J-hope:
You were out getting a drink at your favourite shop, you loved the drinks but the shop was so far from where you lived. While on your way to the shop you noticed a bunch of people surrounding one person. Curious, you walked towards the crowd and in the middle was an amazing dancer. His movement to the music looked so cool, he took out a rose from his jacket and all the girls screamed. You shook your head and continued to walk to the shop. but there was a tap on your shoulder. It was the dancer, he smiled and placed the rose in your hands. He bowed and left. After waiting in line for what seemed like forever, you noticed the dancer again. He was leaning against the wall of shop. It seemed like he was waiting for someone, you didn’t want to bother him but you wanted to thank him for the beautiful rose.
You walked up to him and said, “Hey, thanks for the rose earlier.” You smiled, he nodded and smiled back.
“Y-your welcome.” He shuttered. At that moment you knew he didn’t speak English well, you looked down at your shoes.
“Um, can I…um you… a drink?” He asked, not noticing the drink in your hand.
“I already have one.” You laughed, showing him the drink. He nodded in embarrassment. “I can get you a drink if you want. You must be tired from dancing.”
“Okay.” He smiled, “Thank you.”

Originally posted by hoseoh

Jungkook:
Walking down the street you realize there were some people singing there, some was in English and some was in another language. But their voices sounded amazing, you and your friends decided to go and check it out. You noticed 4 guys singing but one seemed to look at you specifically. You looked behind you to see your friends, ‘he’s probably looking at them’ you thought. As the song ends, people around clapped and the 4 guys started packing their equipment. You were about to leave but a felt someone grab your arm. You turned around and saw the same guy that was staring at you.
“Hi.” He said.
“Hi.” You replied, confused with what he wanted.
“My name is Jungkook, what’s yours?” He asked, you were surprised that he would approach you but you just went with it.
“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you Jungkook.” You smiled, taking your hand out to shake his. He smiled back and shook your hand. You couldn’t help but notice his cute yet handsome face.
“I really like your voice.” You said breaking the silence.
“Yeah? Well… I like you.” He replied blushing, your eyes widen at his sudden confession.
“How do you like me? You just met me.” You laughed.
“I have feeling that you’re nice.” He tells you, “Are you free right now?” You looked back at your friends who’s pushing you towards him and telling you it’s totally fine. You turned back to him, “Sure, where do you want to go?”
“Um, I want you to see me here.” He smiled. Even though his English wasn’t really good you were able to understand what he meant.
“Sure, let’s go.” You smiled back, leading the way.

Originally posted by agustd

Hope you liked it! Sorry again for taking so long ;-;
~Admin Ari (Edited by Admin Luna)

Mean Girls Starters
  • ❝If you're from Africa, why are you white?❞
  • ❝Oh my God, [name], you can't just ask people why they're white.❞
  • ❝Boo, you whore!❞
  • ❝Nice wig, [name]. What's it made of?❞
  • ❝Your Mom's chest hair!❞
  • ❝On Wednesdays we wear pink!❞
  • ❝Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining [name]'s life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.❞
  • ❝Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.❞
  • ❝You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!❞
  • ❝See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, [name], for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with [name], [name]? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.❞
  • ❝And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!❞
  • ❝That is so fetch!❞
  • ❝Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!❞
  • ❝God! I am so sorry [name]. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!❞
  • ❝[Name], I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.❞
  • ❝And none for [name], bye!❞
  • ❝Get in loser, we're going shopping.❞
  • ❝Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.❞
  • ❝I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...❞
  • ❝She doesn't even go here!❞
  • ❝Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?❞
  • ❝I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.❞
  • ❝I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.❞
  • ❝Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.❞
  • ❝One time she met John Stamos on a plane... And he told her she was pretty.❞
  • ❝One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.❞
  • ❝Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?❞
  • ❝Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.❞
  • ❝Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!❞
  • ❝[Name] had cracked.❞
  • ❝Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!❞
  • ❝Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!❞
  • ❝There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!❞
  • ❝I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.❞
  • ❝I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.❞
  • ❝Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?❞
  • ❝I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD [name] you're so stupid!❞
  • ❝It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.❞
  • ❝That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.❞
  • ❝She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.❞
  • ❝That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.❞
  • ❝She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.❞
  • ❝And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.❞
  • ❝Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!❞
  • ❝At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.❞
  • ❝Is butter a carb?❞
  • ❝You can't sit with us!❞
  • ❝Fine! You can walk home, bitches.❞
  • ❝And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.❞
  • ❝My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.❞
  • ❝I love her. She's like a Martian!❞
  • ❝Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?❞
  • ❝She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?❞
  • ❝I like invented her, you know what I mean?❞
  • ❝I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.❞
  • ❝Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.❞
  • ❝Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.❞
  • ❝Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.❞
  • ❝Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!❞
  • ❝I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.❞
  • ❝Your face smells like peppermint!❞
  • ❝Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.❞
  • ❝You're a regulation hottie.❞
  • ❝We do not have a clique problem at this school.❞
  • ❝But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".❞
  • ❝I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!❞
  • ❝Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.❞
  • ❝I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you!❞
  • ❝You smell like a baby prostitute.❞
  • ❝Is your muffin buttered?❞
  • ❝Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?❞
  • ❝Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.❞
  • ❝Finally, Girl World was at peace.❞
  • ❝Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.❞
  • ❝Damn, Africa, what happened?❞
  • ❝I saw [name] wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.❞
  • ❝Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?❞
  • ❝Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.❞
  • ❝Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.❞
  • ❝Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.❞
  • ❝Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?❞
  • ❝I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.❞
  • ❝I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.❞
  • ❝Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.❞
  • ❝Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?❞
  • ❝What are marijuana tablets?❞
  • ❝You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.❞
  • ❝Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.❞
  • ❝Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.❞
  • ❝Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!❞
  • ❝I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.❞
  • ❝Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!❞
  • ❝And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.❞
  • ❝She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.❞
  • ❝I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.❞
  • ❝Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!❞
  • ❝I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.❞
  • ❝You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.❞
  • ❝There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.❞
  • ❝Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.❞
  • ❝The limit does not exist!❞
  • ❝I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending.❞
  • ❝It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.❞
  • ❝She's fabulous, but she's evil.❞
  • ❝So, are you gonna send any candy canes?❞
  • ❝No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.❞
  • ❝'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.❞
  • ❝Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.❞
  • ❝Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!❞
  • ❝Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute... Actual vomit.❞
  • ❝Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.❞
  • ❝I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?❞
  • ❝Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.❞
  • ❝Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?❞
  • ❝Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.❞
  • ❝I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.❞
Life Doesn't Wait

I’m Tired. I’m soo tired.

Not from a lack of sleep. But from a sheer amount of disbelief. From seeing this watercolor world we live in, slowly turning a light shade of tin. Smiles turning to frowns. Ups turning to downs. Some of us have lost our spark, lost our drive, lost our heart. And frankly I’m tired of it. I’m exhausted by the sight, of lives lacking a certain light. When each and every one of us deserves that right.

Now do me a favor and lend me your ears, keep your eyes peeled, keep them here. Poetry and fancy word play on hold, here’s a meaningful story I’ve never told. You see a couple of weeks ago, a day like any other, I was heading to meet up with some friends for lunch. And for some reason, I truly couldn’t be bothered with tackling the mess that is Los Angeles parking. So, I called myself a taxi. You see, I’m the type of person who likes to make conversation with pretty much anyone and everyone. Whether it’s an old lady at a bus stop or a barister at a coffee shop. People are people, and they all have something to say. After a few introduction sentences, me and this thirty something year old gentleman realized we were both creative types, originally from the mid-west, out here, in Los Angeles, pursuing our many artsy endeavors. We continued conversing, but quickly things got a little bit deeper. He asked “was your family okay with you moving out to a bigger city, and chasing such a alternative career type?” “Definitely!” I said, “They’re just happy I’m happy, and doing something I love everyday.” He continued saying “good. That’s really good you’re doing something you’re passionate about. A lot of people nowadays can’t seem to say that.” He hesitated slightly but then continued, “you know, my dad and brother worked night and day for practically their entire lives, receiving little pay for something they didn’t enjoy doing at all. They both always talked about how it’ll be worth it one day, we can spend our hard earned money later on. We will live a good life eventually.

But you know hat, neither of them got that. 

My dad died unexpectedly four years ago, and my brother just last year. They’ll never get to live the life they always wanted to. So it’s honestly very nice to get to see people following their heart, and living their life now, rather then later.” And at that point, he dropped me off.

After only a ten minute car ride, I left with a new perspective in mind. 

Life Waits For No One

If yours isn’t going the way you want it to. If you aren’t pursuing what you want to pursue. If you wake up with immediate dread, constantly saddened by the hours ahead. Moving through the days feeling lost and hazed. Holding back what you want to say. Waiting to be yourself, another day. All your dreams and desires put on hold, to be fulfilled maybe when you’re old.

You aren’t doing it right.

You aren’t living your life.

Eventually is not okay. Why tomorrow when there is today? I finally feel like I am finding my way. And not just living day by day. I’m doing what I love. I’m going where I want to go. I’m being who I want to be.

I’m Happy.

And you know what. I think everyone deserves to feel the same way.

- Connor Franta (x) (listen to the video and read.)

candycountries  asked:

Hi! Thank you so much for your 40's New York references! As someone who doesn't even live in America, it's very helpful! I was wondering if you had any ideas on what jobs Steve and Bucky might have AFTER the war if they made it home ok (Bucky minus one arm) since I'm trying to research possibilities and it's proving difficult. Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day!

Aww, thank you!  Let’s see if I can help.

My own personal assumption about what Steve and Bucky might have done after the war is that they would have been snapped up by an intelligence agency.  The Howling Commandos seemed to have functioned as an independent unit performing covert intelligence operations and sabotage in hostile territories, which would have made all of them phenomenally valuable after the war as the US government pivoted from dealing with fascism to dealing with Communism.  The CIA was founded in 1947 to deal specifically with this threat; I think we could reasonably assume also they could have been folded into the SSR, as it became SHIELD.

Now, if you’re asking what kind of jobs they would have held if they chose to become civilians after the war, let’s start with a quick overview of the GI Bill, which helped to create what we understand as the modern middle class.

Passed into law in 1944, the bill was designed to ease the transition out of wartime for the roughly 11 million or so returning veterans, 73% of which had served overseas.  The GI Bill offered the following benefits:

  • College tuition or vocational training for up to 4 years
  • Zero interest loan guarantees for a home, farm, or business
  • Job-finding assistance
  • Unemployment pay of $20 per week for up to 52 weeks if the veteran couldn’t find a job
  • Priority for building materials for Veterans Administration Hospitals.

That first bullet point was a big one.  When Steve and Bucky were growing up, only an 8th grade education was compulsory; about 6% of the population was college educated before WW2.  If you’d like to take a look at a shitload of graphs, you can see the stunning leaps that happen after 1940, when the government paid a whole lot of people to get educated.  I’m getting some differing numbers between websites, but at least half of World War II veterans participated in an education or training program through the GI Bill.  In 1947, vets accounted for 49% of college admissions.

This was a great thing also because there was rampant homelessness and unemployment waiting for returning veterans - in 1946, about 2 million veterans were unemployed, and at least 1.5 million vets and their families were squatters.  Millions also took advantage of the GI Bill’s home loan guaranty. From 1944 to 1952, VA backed nearly 2.4 million home loans for World War II Veterans.  Overall, home ownership in the US went from 43.6% in 1940, to 61.9% in 1960, to a large part attributed directly to GI Bill benefits.

So what could their jobs have been, as civilians?  Well, I also had a hard time getting a direct answer from the interwebs, but we can extrapolate a few things based on other economic factors at the time.  The construction industry was going through a boom period - not only were homes and planned communities being built at a feverish pace, but the national highway system started construction in 1956, and many of our familiar skyscrapers were constructed during the post-war boom.  So civil engineer might be a good choice, career-wise.  

Food science, also a big thing: due to lots of fucking around with chemicals during the war, we developed new types of fertilizer.  We had tons of manufacturing facilities that had been making bullets and guns, so we turned those over into making tractors and other farming machines, phasing out the use of horses, carts and other such tools.  Between the population boom and the stunning advances in technology that happened because of WW2, a lot of people were paid to make feeding our citizens a lot more efficient.

The late 40s and 50s also saw the highest rate of Humanities majors that we had all century - the evidence that I’ve read seems to be anecdotal, so I won’t link to it, but a college professor AU is pretty charming.  Television also became a huge, huge thing after the war, so a pretty face like Steve Rogers could definitely have become a television personality.

The US Government also put a lot of money into nuclear and energy programs, plunking down research facilities all over the country, but primarily in the south: South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Florida, etc. Nuclear engineer Bucky, anyone?  

If you want to keep them in New York, NYC experienced a huge cultural shift during the post-war period, and created most of our modern art canon for the next few decades.  Lots of beatniks, lots of social unrest, lots of avant garde artists.  Disillusioned, anti-war Greenwich Village painter Steve Rogers?  Haha love it.  Anyway, you have lots of options, and can even have them opt out of employment and become hobos on the 52-20 plan, which was what unemployed veterans were derisively called.

A history lesson from Hans Bekhart is never really complete without the social justice context, so let me add also that Gabe Jones would have been for the most part shit out of luck trying to get his benefits through the GI Bill.  The federal government left the actual carrying out of these benefits to local agencies, who - you guessed it - were hella racist.  They outright excluded black people for both educational benefits (Southern universities being segregated at the time, and HBUCs overwhelmed by the number of applicants) and housing (by refusing home loans to black applicants seeking to purchase outside of designated areas, also known as redlining, the effects of which can most certainly still be seen today.)  Black veterans were overwhelmingly shunted towards vocational training rather than education, and then further excluded from minimum wage laws at the time (or rather, job categories with high rates of black workers were excluded from having to comply with minimum wage laws, such as domestic workers).

Much of the current wealth disparity in the country between white people and black people can be directly traced to the GI Bill, as home ownership is one of the biggest creators of wealth (as opposed to income, wealth is assets - cash savings, homes, and retirement accounts - minus debts i.e. mortgages and credit card balances).  Wealth disparity perpetuates from generation to generation and has an enormous effect on a person’s ability for financial success as they move into adulthood.  Money makes money, as they say.

Jim Morita would have done alright, though: Japanese veterans were not excluded from GI Bill benefits, so it was during the post-war period that Japanese-Americans achieved near economic parity with white Americans; turns out that whole model minority weirdness is older than you maybe thought it was.

LIFE DOESN'T WAIT

i’m tired. i’m so tired. not from a lack of sleep, but from a sheer amount of disbelief. from seeing this watercolor world we live in slowly turning a light shade of tin. smiles fading to frowns, ups turning to downs. some of us have lost our spark, lost our drive, lost our heart. and frankly, i’m tired of it. i’m exhausted by the sight of lives lacking a certain light, when each and every one of us deserve that right. now do me a favor, and lend me your ears. keep your eyes peeled, place them here. poetry and fancy word play on hold, here’s a meaningful story i’ve never told:
you see, a couple of weeks ago, a day like any other, i was heading to meet up with some friends for lunch. and for some reason i truly couldn’t be bothered with tackling the mess that is los angeles parking. so, i called myself a taxi. you see, i’m the type of person who likes to make conversation with pretty much anyone and everyone, whether it’s an old lady at a bus stop, or a barista at a coffee shop. people are people, and they all have something to say. after a few introduction sentences, me and this thirty-something year-old gentleman realised we’re both creative types, originally from the mid-west, out here in los angeles, pursuing our many artsy endeavours. we continued conversing but quickly things got a little bit deeper. he asked me, “was your family okay with you moving out to a bigger city and chasing such an alternative career type?” “definitely”, i said, “they’re just happy i’m happy and doing something i love everyday.” he continued by saying, “good. that’s really good you’re doing something you’re passionate about. a lot of people nowadays can’t seem to say that.” he hesitated slightly but then continued, “you know, my dad and brother worked night and day for practically their entire lives receiving little pay for doing something they didn’t enjoy at all. they both always talked about how, ‘it’ll be worth it one day. we can spend our hard-earned money later on. we will live a good life, eventually.’ but you know what? neither of them got that. my dad died unexpectedly four years ago, and my brother just last year. they’ll never get to live the life they always wanted to, so it’s honestly very nice to see people following their heart and living their life now, rather than later.” and at that point, he dropped me off. after only a ten minute car ride, i left with a new perspective in my mind. life waits for no one. if yours isn’t going the way you want it to; if you aren’t pursuing what you want to pursue; if you wake up with immediate dread; constantly saddened by the hours ahead; moving through the days feeling lost, hurt, in a haze; holding back what you wanna say; waiting to be yourself another day; all your dreams and desires put on hold; to be fulfilled, maybe when you’re old; you aren’t doing it right; you aren’t living your life; eventually is not okay; why tomorrow when there is today? i finally feel like I’m finding my way, and not just living day by day. i’m doing what i love, i’m going where i wanna go, i’m being who i want to be. i’m happy. and you know what? i think everyone deserves to feel the same way.
(thanks so much for listening, and i’ll see you guys next monday.)

- connorfranta

pick up lines sentence starter
  • Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
  • Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  • Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
  • I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!
  • Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  • Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.
  • If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  • I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
  • I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  • There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
  • Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
  • If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
  • Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.
  • I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  • Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
  • I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
  • I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that.
  • My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
  • Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
  • Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
  • I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.
  • Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you.
  • Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
  • Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
  • You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
  • Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
  • I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
  • I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  • I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
  • You're the only girl I love now... but in ten years, I'll love another girl. She'll call you 'Mommy.'
  • Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
  • I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.
  • Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
  • Hey, don't frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.
  • My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
  • Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you're lacking some Vitamin Me.
  • Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man.
  • Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  • Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
  • For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  • You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
  • Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  • Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!
  • You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
  • If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  • I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen
  • If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
  • If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
  • Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
  • Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
  • Did you read Dr. Seuss as a kid? Because green eggs and... damn!
  • Is your dad a drug dealer? Cause you're so Dope!
  • Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
  • There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
  • Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
  • Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
  • Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
  • Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
  • I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
  • There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
  • Do you work at Dick's? Cause you're sporting the goods.
  • You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
  • Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
  • You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot that you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
  • Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
  • If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  • Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
  • Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.
  • If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  • Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
  • You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.
  • Put down that cupake... you're sweet enough already.
  • You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  • Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
  • Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
  • I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
  • I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
  • When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
  • I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?
  • Baby I might not be Sriracha sauce but, I sure will spice up your life.
  • Are you Jewish? Cause you ISRAELI HOT.
  • You may be asked to leave soon, you're making all the other women look bad.
  • Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  • Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
  • Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?
  • If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.
  • Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  • No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.
  • Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
  • I'm no organ donor but I'd be happy to give you my heart.
  • If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.
  • Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you.
  • Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless.
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  • Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
  • If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
  • If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  • Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily".
  • You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
  • Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
  • Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!
  • Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
  • How was heaven when you left it?
  • Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
  • You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
  • Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  • I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  • You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!
  • Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
  • Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
  • Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
  • If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
  • You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
  • Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
  • Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  • So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  • The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • (As she is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? (What?) Me!
  • Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!
  • Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.
  • I'm Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?
  • Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
  • If I were a transplant surgeon, I'd give you my heart.
  • Are you Willy Wonka's daughter, 'cuz you look sweet and delicious.
  • If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
  • Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
  • Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?
  • I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
  • I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  • I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
  • I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
  • If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  • If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
  • My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
  • Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  • Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
  • Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
  • You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
  • Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  • [Point at her butt] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
  • Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  • Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
  • I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.
  • Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!
  • Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.
  • What's on the menu? Me-n-U
  • You're like pizza. Even when you are bad, you're good
  • I'd say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.
  • I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
  • My friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't... I think you're absolutely gorgeous!
  • Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal your heart, and you'll steal mine.
  • You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
  • If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard
  • Are you a hipster, because you make my hips stir.
  • Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect
  • Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!
  • You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  • I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.
  • Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you're a-Dora-ble!
  • I don't know if you're beautiful, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
  • You don't need keys to drive me crazy.
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.
  • People call me John, but you can call me tonight.
  • You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart
  • I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents... do you want to be my dime?
  • [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
  • Are you a magician??? Because Abraca-DAYUM!
  • Be unique and different, say yes.
  • Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
  • You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
  • My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  • They say dating is a numbers game... so can I get your number?
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
  • (Ask a person for the time) 9: 15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
  • Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.
  • if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!
  • Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!
  • I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
  • You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
  • You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  • Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
  • When God made you, he was showing off.
  • Are you a Snickers bar? Cause you satisfy me.
  • Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
  • Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're "mmmm... good!"
  • You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
  • Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
  • Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
  • You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
  • Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
  • Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
  • I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
  • Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
  • I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
  • Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
  • If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
  • Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • (Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
  • How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
  • Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
  • Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
  • When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
  • Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
  • Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
  • (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
  • This time next year let’s be laughing together.
  • Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.
  • Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need.
  • Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going... I just need eye contact from you.
  • Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!
  • I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.
  • Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.
  • Is your father Little Caesar? Cause you look Hot 'n Ready.
  • I could use some spare change and you're a dime.
  • I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
  • Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  • Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
  • Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
  • Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
  • Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  • I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  • I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
  • I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  • I sneezed because God blessed me with you.
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  • Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  • So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!
  • Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
  • Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  • Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  • What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  • What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • I blame you for global warming... your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!
  • You are the reason men fall in love.
  • Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  • If you were ground coffee, you'd be Espresso cause you're so fine.
  • You better call Life Alert, 'cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
  • You're single. I'm single. Coincidence? I think not.
  • You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  • You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.
  • You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  • You should be someone's wife.
  • Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  • Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
  • I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
  • You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  • If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
  • Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?
  • Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
  • There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
  • Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  • Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
  • If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  • Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
  • You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  • You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
  • Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  • Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  • Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
  • Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  • Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
  • Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  • You're hotter than Papa Bear's porridge.
  • I hope there's a fire truck nearby, cause you're smokin'!
  • If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
  • How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
  • I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
  • (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
  • You are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
  • Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
  • You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
  • I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
  • Hey baby, you've got something on your butt - my eyes!
  • This isn't a beer belly, It's a fuel tank for a love machine.
  • I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
  • Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.
  • if we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)
  • Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
  • If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
  • Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
  • See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.
  • Stare at girl . ("What're you staring at?")
  • You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.
  • You're hotter than donut grease.
  • Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
  • Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.
  • Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
  • If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
  • I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
  • I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
  • If you were a steak you would be well done.
  • It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
  • Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
  • Do you have any raisins? [No] How about a date?
  • Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.
  • Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!
  • Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
  • On The Phone
  • She/He says: "Hold on"
  • You Say: "Sorry, I can't hold on... I've already fallen for you."
  • Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!
  • Are you a microwave oven? Cause you melt my heart.
  • Did you get your license suspended for driving so many guys crazy?
  • Are you a girl scout, cause you tie my heart in knots.
  • You're so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
  • You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
  • Let's play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  • When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
  • Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
🎁 Elf 🎄(2003) Sentence Starters
  • "You're, uh, you're probably here about the, Uh, the story."
  • "I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves."
  • "Only two weeks left till Christmas!"
  • "What in the name of Sam hill Is that?"
  • "I was his/her adopted father."
  • "Treat every day like Christmas."
  • "There's room for everyone on the Nice list."
  • "The best way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear."
  • "Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus."
  • "I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins."
  • "I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water."
  • "Oh, by the way, don't eat the yellow snow."
  • "First off, you see gum on The street, leave it there. It's not free candy. Second, There are, like, 30 ray's pizzas. They all claim to be the Original, but the real one' son 11th. And if you see a sign that Says "peep show," That doesn't mean that They're letting you look at presents before Christmas."
  • "We're gonna go ices skating and... And eat sugar plums."
  • "Well... he is on the naughty list."
  • "Does someone need a hug?"
  • "Santa! San-- uh, nope!"
  • "[Gasps] Beautiful! Looks like a Christmas tree."
  • "You're not supposed to be Down here!"
  • "Why you smiling like that?"
  • "Santa!!! Oh, my god!!! Santa here?! I know him! I know him!"
  • "You are very good at decorating that tree."
  • "I'm just trying to get through the holidays."
  • "How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?"
  • "They're kind a pissed about this."
  • "'Cause if I go, we all go."
  • " By the way... I think you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world."
  • "You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa."
  • "Just who the heck are you, And what is your problem?"
  • "I thought maybe we could make Gingerbread houses, And eat cookie dough, and go Ice skating, and... And maybe even hold hands."
  • "He got mad at me."
  • "You know, it's a little complicated, but it's nothing that we can't handle."
  • "Is there sugar in syrup?"
  • "Clearly he has some serious issues. We can't just throw him out in the snow."
  • "Well, this is really something. I'm usually the one making breakfast."
  • "I planned out our whole day. First, we'll make snow angels for two hours, and then we'll go ice skating and then we'll eat a whole roll Of Toll-House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then, to finish, we'll snuggle."
  • "How'd you get this number?"
  • "You know, we could sit here and point fingers all day."
  • "So, good news... I saw a dog today."
  • "I really wanted to see you, and... and I think you're beautiful, and I, um... I feel really warm when I am around you, and, um, my tongue swells up. So... Do you wanna go eat food?"
  • "You have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card."
  • "You know, I know I sound like a broken record, but we are buddies. You're my best friend, that's it. You're my best friend."
  • "Call me elf one more time!"
  • "Get out of my life! Now!"
  • "I don't belong anywhere."
  • "There seems to be a strange man dressed as an elf wandering through central park."
  • "I didn't mean anything I said back there, not a word."
  • "You believed in me."
  • "Christmas spirit is about believing, not seeing."
  • "Come on, give me your hat and coat."
  • "I'm getting too old for this job."
  • "Come here, little one."
Not so secret Santa: a Lucaya fanfic
  • Every year there was this secret santa game that all the classmates liked to participate. They would randomly select a name from a bowl full of name tags and give the name owner little presents until christmas when the Secret Santa would be revealed.
  • Everybody was excited, except Maya. Every year was stressful around secret Santa time. Having very little to no mony to spend on gifts was sometimes hard, she had to become resourseful. Recyclin, going to triftshops, flee markets, and sometimes making the gifts herself. And the kids didn't wanted those gifts... They wanted expensive candybars, of new toys, cute fashion accesories. One time in second grade, she made a picture frame with some recycled materials, and it ended in the garbage because the girl who was meant for didn't liked it. And it just broke Maya's heart, she came home crying and Katie gave her Money to buy a bracelet and a candy bar for the Secret Santa.
  • So this year, even when Maya had more money to spend on little gifts, it was still a very hard time for her, while everyone was happy and excited, she was anxious.
  • Riley: today is Secret Santa day!
  • Farkle: Yes! I hope I get awesome gifts...
  • Lucas: You guys play this game every year?
  • Maya: Yea... It sucks... I'm going to art room. Forgot something there yesterday. See you later in class...
  • Lucas: is Maya ok? She seemed a little sad...
  • Riley: Maya doesn't like Secret Santa
  • Lucas: How come?
  • Farkle: No one wants her to be their secret Santa.
  • Riley: Farkle!
  • Farkle: what? Its true!
  • Lucas: why is that? Don't they like Maya?
  • Riley: Maya is not the problem.
  • Farkle: Its her gifts. They are mostly hand made from recycled objects.
  • Lucas: But that's awesome. Like little works of art.
  • Farkle: Yeah... I guess not everybody is into it...
  • Riley: I liked my gifts from last years...
  • Farkle: o yeah? And how come you are not wearing your noodle bracelet right now?
  • Riley: murmurs...I don't have it anymore...
  • Farkle: what?
  • Riley: I said I don't have it anymore!
  • Farkle: what did you do to it Riley?
  • Riley: I lost it?
  • Farkle: lier!
  • Riley: Fine... Is in my room. Somewhere. and I don't wear it because I don't want to break it.
  • Farkle: is made of noodles Riley, not glass.
  • Riley: people already think I'm weird. I can't wear noodles, they'll make fun of me... Lets see if you wear yours this year!
  • Farkle: I don't have one!
  • Riley: not yet... But since last time she was my secret santa, now is your turn.
  • Farkle: No way!
  • Riley: farkle!
  • Farkle: Sorry Riles, No can do. Got to run, library book to return, see you later!
  • Riley: Farkle! You can't do this to me two years in a row! We had a deal! Damn....
  • Lucas: ok, what just happened?
  • Riley: Farkle bailed on me...
  • Lucas: what deal?
  • Riley: one year is my secret santa, next was suposed to be his. And is his turn. Last year was mine. That was the deal.
  • Lucas: don't worry Riles, I'll take Farkle's place.
  • Riley: Really?
  • Lucas: Gladly.
  • Riley: You are so nice. Thank you! You always coming to rescue me.
  • Lucas: yeah...
  • Riley: lets head to class to make the special Secret Santa arrangements with dad. He knows about the deal.
  • At class, Mr Mattews puts all their names except for Mayas and Lucas in the bowl, and calls each student forward to take a little piece of paper in the front desk. On purpose he calls Maya and places two pieces of paper both with lucas name on it and Maya grabs one.
  • Maya: (unfolds paper) great...
  • Mr Mattews calls Lucas and he takes the last remaining paper, and nods at Mr Mattews knowing that he'll be Mayas Secret Santa.
  • After class...
  • Farkle: so what did you get?
  • Riley: I can't tell you! Is ruins the purpose of the game. Is called "secret" santa for a reason...
  • Farkle: c'mon... Not even a clue?
  • Riley: No!
  • Lucas: I got a very nice name...
  • Maya: I got the worst...
  • Farkle: It can't be that bad.
  • Maya: it is.
  • (Riley and Lucas look at eachother with worry)
  • Riley: why is it so terrible?
  • Maya: because is gonna be hard to please this one... Is gonna take a lot of work.
  • Lucas: how come?
  • Maya: It just is. Stop asking things. I better go... I need time to think.
  • Riley: let her be. She's worried because she wants you to like her presents. Now she'll isolate herself to think about and make the gifts.
  • Lucas: I can hardly wait.
  • Next week they were suposed to start with the gifts...
  • Maya was nowhere to be seen.
  • Farkle: good morning Riley. Guess what was in my locker?
  • Riley: a secret santa gift?
  • Farkle: yes! How did you know?
  • Riley: Look! (Opens locker door)
  • Farkle: Nice teddy bear!
  • Riley: I know right? Is the cuttest little teddy beat with the cuttest little sweater. I'm so happy. What did you get?
  • Farkle: just a card...
  • Riley: sure is just a card?
  • Farkle: for now... Yes. But is musical. And says that more is to come! So I'm happy.
  • Lucas: hey guys.
  • Riley: hi lucas. Look! A teddy!
  • Farkle: card! You?
  • Lucas: i don't know. Haven't found anything.
  • They get to class and in his desk is a red box with a green bow.
  • He smiles and puts it in his bag.
  • Farkle: aren't you gonna open it?
  • Lucas: not yet.
  • Farkle: would you let me see?
  • Lucas: later dude.
  • (Maya walks in)
  • Riley: what did you get?
  • Maya: nothing yet. I guess my secret santa forgot about it.
  • Farkle: or maybe later you'll find it.
  • Lucas drops his books on purpose and as he gets down to get them up he puts a little envelope in Maya's bag when she's not looking.
  • After class everybody heads home. Lucas can't wait anymore to open the little box. He carefully removes the green ribbon and opens the red box to find a very artsy horse sculpture made of clay. Is a white horse. And Lucas liked it so much he put it in his bedside table.
  • When Maya got home, she opened her bag to find her keys and felt the heavy envelope with her hand, took it out and opened it. It was a beautiful bracelet for charms with a single snow flake charm. She liked it. A lot. She had a feeling this secret santa was gonna be different. But for now she needed to finish her next secret santa proyect.
  • Would Ranger Rick like the horse sculpture? She'll know tomorrow for sure.
  • Next day:
  • Riley: so, what was it?
  • Lucas: a beautyful sculpture.
  • Farkle: can I see it?
  • Lucas: is in my room, but sure, someday.
  • Maya was smiling when she heard he liked it.
  • Riley: so Maya. What did you get?
  • Maya just held her wrist for her to see.
  • Riley: ahww that's so pretty!
  • Farkle: so mine was the worst!
  • Riley: relax farkle, is just the first...
  • Lucas: yeah buddy, you might get a charm bracelet next time!
  • Farkle: ha ha
  • Next week: was second gift time.
  • Riley: guess what I got?
  • Farkle: Another teddy?
  • Riley: No! But is just as cute!
  • Farkle: what is it?
  • Riley: A puppy calendar! Look, it has the cutest puppy pictures you can imagine, there's even one with a bunny!
  • Farkle: yeah really cute. Look what I got!
  • Riley: that isn't so bad...
  • Farkle had a pen and a little notepad with little pine trees.
  • Farkle: yeah, is true. At least is something I can use.
  • Riley: That is true. Hey Maya what about you?
  • Maya: notting yet, I mean wasn't in my locker.
  • Farkle: Lucas?
  • Lucas: my locker was empty too. Lets go to class.
  • And there was again. A little red box with green bow on his desk. Only this time there was one silver box with a pink bow on Maya's desk too.
  • Lucas: see, I did got something.
  • Maya: Me too.
  • Farkle: what is it?
  • Lucas: can't tell yet. I'll open it later.
  • Maya: I got more charms, a candy cane, a ginger bread man and a christmas tree. And a real candy cane. Yummy.
  • Lucas smiled to himself.
  • At home he opened his box. There was a coin, a very special coin that he knew so well. The one with the cowboy ridding a bull. The same one his grandfather promissed to give him so many years ago but didn't. But how did she get it?
  • Next week, third secret santa day.
  • Riley found the cutest little candy abd ginger bread house.
  • Riley: can you believe it? Su cute and delicious!
  • Farkle: yea yea...
  • Riley: didn't liked yours?
  • Farkle: look... A calculator. I mean, is useful but not thoughful...
  • Riley: yea, I guess you could say that.
  • Maya: lets get inside class (smiling)
  • Farkle: Maya eager to get to class... That's a new one...
  • Lucas: I wanna go in too, there must be my gift waiting for me.
  • And it was.
  • The usual red box. But now it was bigger and read Fragile! Do not shake.
  • Maya: look more charms... No, just one a snow man and a gift card with 25 dls, this is so cool.
  • Farkle: home?
  • Lucas: yeah. Not until home.
  • And when he arrived home he opened his gift. His favorite. Cherry pie. Only when he tasted it he knew, it wasn't just a cherry pie, was his grandma's recipe. He smiled so much it made his face hurt that afternoon. And he ate it all. Didn't share one bit. And he loved it.
  • Next week. It was cheistmas eve. The last gift, when it all came down to telling who was their secret santa.
  • Riley: Omg Look at this!
  • Farkle: what?
  • Riley: just when I tough it couldn't get better. A snow globe with me inside in a cheerleading outfit. And it says "I'll always believe in you" omg! Farkle?
  • Farkle: (smiles) yeah... Tough you would like it.
  • Riley: I live it... Omg please don't open yours!
  • Farkle: why not? (Opens locker)
  • A really unexpected thing happened, some colored watter got splashed on his face and he got a recorded message saying: "you bailed on me! ME! And you thought that was ok, well time to think again pal. Happy Christmas not! Enjoy making calculations and taking notes on how to be a better friend! "
  • Farkle: Riley!
  • Riley: Sorry! I was mad at you. I tried to warn you!
  • Farkle: your gift sucks big time. I bet Maya's was better.
  • Riley: Serves you right for bailing on me.
  • Maya opened hers to find a single heart charm and a letter that said "thank you for all those amazing gifts. They made me feel like home and it was special. I know this was hard for you but jeep doing what you love. And you are an amazing artist Maya, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. -yours Ranger Rick"
  • When Lucas got home he opened his box. And it was empty, no present. Just a note in the bottom, with an adress. And so, he took his phone and jacket and the little piece of paper and went there. Nothing could prepare him for it, it was a mural in the side of a drugstore. The picture was amazing with so much detail. It was Lucas' favorite horse from Texas. And himself ridding it in a very beautiful prairie. He took pictures of the mural with his phone and stayed all afternoon admiring the artwork, must have taken her so much time. Days maybe.
  • When he turned she was there.
  • Maya: taking pictures of my art?
  • Lucas: don't you mean mine?
  • Maya: touche
  • Lucas: nice gift. I just wish I could take it home.
  • Maya: I have the sketch at home if you want it.
  • Lucas: I do, thank you. Most have taken you days...
  • Maya: it did... But for you, it was worth it.
  • Lucas: you are really somehting you know...
  • Maya: yeah... I've heard...
  • Lucas: so, you talked to grandma?
  • Maya: yeah
  • Lucas: I knew that was her pie!
  • Maya: Heeey, I made it! And it took me like 5 pies to get it right.
  • Lucas: it was perfect. Thank you.
  • Maya: anytime huckleberry.
  • Lucas: so, 5 pies?
  • Maya: yeah?
  • Lucas: have any left?
  • Maya: sure, lets go home.
  • Lucas: lead the way mah-am
  • Maya: you are such a huckleberry.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry Monica but can u please elaborate more on tianshan HS headcanons??? maybe they just started out dating in the last year and he tian is trying to sneak small kisses in between class and all that good stuff. Please do u have any more thoughts???

hi anon!! earlier today i was thinking about how to reply to you and suddenly i realised that i actually don’t have a lot of high school headcanons for them?? i really love the idea of them going to high school together and actually starting a relationship during their last year (i wrote some headcanons about their first three dates and i imagine them happening in this period), but i never really thought about more general ones for their high school days. still, i tried to come up with some anyway since you were so nice to ask!! (but im not gonna lie, it’s also because the second i read sneaky kisses i was GONE) sadly im not very satisfied with them, but i hope you’ll be able to enjoy these anyway!!

  • okay, so, as i said in that other ask, the two of them are in the same class and he tian sits at the desk behind guan shan’s
  • which is the worst thing that could have happened because he tian is constantly distracted by guan shan’s everything and gets no learning done
  • but it also provides him the perfect position to bother guan shan whenever he’s bored
  • he probably spends half of his time just pocking guan shan’s back with his pen or trying to tickle him and sending him ridiculous notes (most of them demanding him to cook something)
  • he tian is still incredibly popular even in high school, and he always has a lot of girls swarming around him, but he makes sure to let everyone know that he and guan shan are basically a package deal
  • any time guan shan’s temper flares up and people start to talk he always appear to calm things down, usually by putting an arm around guan shan’s shoulders and saying stuff like ‘he seems to have a bad personality, but don’t let it fool you, don’t close mountain is actually very sensitive’
  • they have a ‘secret place’ where they often go so he tian can smoke and they can both catch a break and stay alone in peace
  • (it’s just an isolated part of the school grounds, but he tian insists on calling it ‘their secret place’)
  • also since they are in the same class and live near each other they take the habit to walk home together
  • even when one has to stay longer for clean duty the other will always wait around for them to finish
  • guan shan stops at he tian’s apartment so they can study together almost every day, because even if he tian is always distracted in class he still has some of the highest grades in the entire school and he tutors guan shan on some subjects
  • sometimes to thank him guan shan stays for dinner as well and cooks something nice for he tian
  • other times he just prepares him a lunchbox to bring him the next day at school
  • all this BEFORE they actually get together, so imagine AFTER
  • he tian still sends notes to guan shan demanding him to cook, but now there are also notes with less appropriate stuff written on them that make guan shan blush so hard that more than once their professor ends up asking him if he’s feeling sick
  • ALL. THE. SNEAKY. KISSES.
  • they are mostly just quick pecks on the lips that they give to each other when they are sure no one is around,
  • which means that they just do whatever they can to create those kind of occasions, for example by lingering in the classroom or in the lockers until everyone else left, or by pulling each other into dark corners
  • there’s also a lot of hand holding and some make out sessions when they are in 'their secret place’ because they know no one ever goes there besides them
  • basically everything stays the same but with more kisses?? um
FIC PREVIEW: Queen Bee AU

Consider this a prologue. This is the Queen Bee AU, in which Rhys is the CEO of Atlas and Jack gets tangled up with him in some… interesting ways. It’s a/b/o again but the focus is much more on how a sexually charged rivalry between Jack and a fairly ruthless Rhys would work out. Because I can’t stop writing Slytherin Rhys apparently.

One of the most important parts of the AU is how Rhys runs Atlas, which is there the informal name of the AU comes from. After talking to ledgem, I decided to write a little something to set the stage for that. The entire fic will not be in this storytelling style, don’t worry, but here is an in-universe interview with Rhys.

The Weight of the World on his Shoulders: An interview with Atlas CEO Rhys Sommerset
by Yvette Lacroix

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anonymous asked:

so i really want to take architecture but my mom doesn't want me to take it. what should i do?

“WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE: I say yes, mom says no.”

This is a tough one, but let’s take a ride together.

Picture yourself 10 years from now. You listened to everything your mom has said without reservation. You followed her every suggestion without question or putting up reasons of your own for why you want to do something that goes against her wishes.

You could be in a really good place, you might have a house and kids working a really well paying job somewhere… And hating every minute of it.

The people who love us sometimes can really be the most influential in making us give up our passion. I’m not sure why your mom doesn’t want you to do architecture, but what I do know is that whatever else she wants you to do it is because she thinks it is a better route for you. Maybe she thinks you won’t be as successful in architecture as you could be in something else, and as a parent, that has to be one of the scariest things about having children. Making sure you guide them safely into a successful future. The problem with that is there is no risk involved, and it is almost impossible to do something you love without risk.

I could go on and on about making decisions for yourself, but I really just want to tell you a story…

When I was in High School, over 10 years ago, I wanted to be a Music Educator. I loved music more than anything and I knew in my heart it was for me. I was intoxicated by music, the very sound of marching band got my heart going and I was good at playing and teaching too. It wasn’t just a passion, it was something I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. Others would kill for this kind of conviction in a life path as a High School student. But then something happened.

Everyone told me not to pursue this path.

Every influential person in my life told me that being a “Band teacher” or doing “Music” for a living was “not practical” or “I could be so much more!!” And so I listened. I had people left and right telling me I was amazing and could be something so great, my potential was so much more than just being a music teacher.

So I quit.

I quit the garage band I was in (which that band actually broke up and reformed as a popular band now called “A Day To Remember”) and I quit marching band, symphonic band, jazz band, piano class, EVERYTHING. I quit cold turkey and decided to get into Architecture School.

Everyone told me that was the way to go! “You’re so good at drawing and Architects make a lot of money! More than teachers make!” So why wouldn’t I get into Architecture? It sounds like I could draw a lot and get paid well, I’m in!

And off I go into the next 7 years of my life. I helped with a few band camps here and there, but my life became consumed by architecture. AND HOW WONDERFUL IT WAS OMG!! I learned so many things, I traveled the world, I met some of the most creative and intelligent people I’ve ever know in my life, and I became the person I am today.

But something was missing…

Life for me was great. I graduated with a Master’s in Architecture, My thesis made the judges cry and the crowd stand and cheer, I was inducted into the Alpha Rho Chi architecture fraternity, and seen among my peers as one of the most influential designers to ever come out of our program. I mean hell I even made a blog called “Tips for Architecture School” that is now over 150,000 followers strong, recognized world-wide, and still holds a position as a Tumblr Spotlight Blog for last 4 years.

But I was never in love with Architecture as I was with music. I thought it would change, but sometimes you can’t control what you love.

I got out of school and while all of my friends were going off to join firms and continue their paths towards becoming an architect I did not. I couldn’t shake the urge to teach music. It was something inside of me that was now screaming and kicking its way out. So I went and got a job teaching at a local band program.

After 2 years working as a percussion instructor, our band went and competed in the Bands Of America Grand National Championships.

…and we WON.

We got first place in the Nation. And I am only saying that first because it is a credential that reflects what really happened behind the scenes. The real magic was in the lives I was able to change, the people I was able to push to new limits, the adversity I helped people overcome, and the family I became a part of to accomplish all of these great things. My heart has found its home and every day I get to change the world in my own little way through my students.

Since then I have published 4 books about drumming, which have been accepted into the percussion community and are purchased and shipped to over 10 countries worldwide. And I now teach music for a living. I wake up every day excited to live my life. And it may not pay as much (not even close) as what I would be making at an architecture firm right now with my degree. But I couldn’t see myself hiding anymore from my true passion.

All was not in vein though. It might not seem like it, but Architecture School was one of the best things I could have ever done. I have even taken my design knowledge and mixed it with my passion for music to help Co-found a design and innovation non-profit organization called “The Urban Conga”. One of my designs incorporates public space design with the marimba instrument. We have created a form of hybrid architecture. In fact, our most recent client was the Tampa Bay Rays Major League Baseball Team. We helped remodel part of their stadium (Tropicana Field) with a design that uses my musical bench idea.

So I made it all work. I took a 7 year detour from a path everyone told me not to take. And you know what, it wasn’t really a bad detour at all. In fact, it was pretty amazing.

So back to you and your mom. She says don’t do architecture, but you say yes. The real question is, does architecture intoxicate you? Does the very thought of design make you weak at the knees? Because at the end of the day, your decision has nothing to do with your mom, and everything to do with what you love. That is the hardest part. Find out what you love, it doesn’t matter what it is, but find something that you can’t live without and do that. And if you can’t find that thing, it’s ok, because if there is anything I have learned from making the “wrong decision” about my life path when I was coming out of high school it is this:

What you do day to day makes you who you are.

So whatever you decide to do, just make sure you are doing it better than you were the day before and you will always be successful. Then, one day you will wake up and realize where you are supposed to be, but you have been successful every day until then, and that is what really matters.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision making. I know it is overwhelming right now but you are strong and will make the best of everything. Just keep swimming.

Love,
Mark, tipsforarchitectureschool

gxldentrio  asked:

And about the prompts, maybe 7th year, Lily and James are friends, she doesn't know he likes her, one day, for some reason they argue and start shouting and he accidentally slips that he ''bloody loves Evans'' ahahah I'd love that <3

Well, this is months after you sent this, but I was struck with inspiration today so here you are.

Lily missed when they used to fight about him missing lights out, or master minding some elaborate prank or her being ‘too soft’ on Slytherins or not showing enough house pride at Quidditch games. When their arguments were mostly banter and people would watch because it was entertaining. He got under her skin of course, and she drove him up the wall, but it was all in good fun, neither one of them were actually angry with the other. Beyond annoyed, sure, but never angry.

It was different now, though everything was, and everyone was just so tense. The war was looming and not so far in the distance anymore. They were graduating next term and then they would be entering a world that was being torn apart at the seams. Families were dying, turning on one another, or going into hiding, the treatment of muggle borns had become terrible. Thanks to legislature pushed through by Voldemort’s men it was nearly impossible for a muggle born to get a job working at the ministry any more, and with the passing of that bill dashed Lily’s hopes of becoming an Auror and fighting for her place in this world. She was no longer allowed to be an Auror. And if she wasn’t allowed to be an Auror, then how was she going to fight? How was she going to protect all of the men and women who were standing up for her right to be there, who were risking their lives to give her a chance. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair and James Potter just didn’t seem to get it.

“You’ve never sounded more ignorant than you do right now, Potter.” She snapped, dropping her book bag onto the floor. They were on the seventh floor, not far from the Gryffindor common room and they were supposed to be doing rounds. But James had brought up the mornings Prophet and they had gotten to talking about it and then Lily had blown up, and then James had blown up and it didn’t make a whole lot of sense because they were both on the same side of the war, it was just that Lily was a muggle born and James was a pure blood and neither of them could really see the other’s point of view because they were too busy looking at their own.

“I’ve never sounded- Are you even hearing yourself?” He said, throwing his own bag on the ground next to hers.

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dozusumbrella  asked:

Why do you measure things based on american standards despite not living in america? Also, why do you believe white people are privileged when your country doesn't even consist of white people and you don't seem to pay attention to your own countries political problems?

Why do you measure things based on american standards despite not living in america?

- as a former colony of the United States and a current political ally, everything that happens on that end is felt in waves in our small country. We can’t ignore what happens there when it affects so many of us here, especially the overseas workers (or OFWs) that contribute much to the economy

- Our formal education is generally very deeply US-based following the educational overhaul that came with the colonization.

- A lot of filipinos are trained to find jobs abroad [due to a lot of factors but it’s generally believed here that everyone’s better off finding jobs elsewhere and it’s sad b/c this is reinforced by schools training students specifically for ‘shipping off’ to other places, as well as this country’s generally crappy work ethics and pay]

- believe me when I say we’re trying really hard on our end, especially since so many of the people here in general have this fanaticism for Duterte and think he’s doing the country good when really Extrajudicial Killings and Lumad Displacements are still things that are happening. A lot of people are trying hard to peacefully protest but are only met with police violence

- there is a divide between people who think “everything’s fine there’s no need to panic you protesters are dumb” and people who care, and the current social state’s self-hate is so prominent we’re still in conflict amongst ourselves, but we still try

Just because you don’t see us talking about it from your end doesn’t mean nobody’s doing a thing. Please don’t generalize a whole country like that.

Also, why do you believe white people are privileged when your country doesn’t even consist of white people and you don’t seem to pay attention to your own countries political problems?            

300+ years of Spanish and American rule as well as an overhaul of our educational system have conditioned us (as a society and a people) to have this inferiority complex where we think the US  (or foreign “white” countries in general) is the end-all and the Best ™ and it’s horrible:

- whitening products are all the rage and the “whiter is more beautiful” mindset is very much deeply rooted in the country even today. There is discrimination towards the darker-skinned people of Aeta descent (as well as dark-skinned foreigners), and even people who lean towards tan/morena skin are frequently bullied as “dark”- It’s either you’re white like a superstar or you’re dark like everyone else, in the eyes of many filipinos. it can literally be black-and-white in so many people’s eyes

- there’s still prejudice/discrimination against Muslims in our own country. It’s saad b/c like Islam’s been around far longer than Catholicism? It’s not felt as much in Mindanao where I am from and the community is prominent but everywhere else is kinda ehh

- the double standard’s so bad people hail white foreigners who could speak a few lines in Tagalog but shun local people who are fluent in Tagalog (”You’re probably good at Filipino because you can’t speak English“) or English (”what a snob”) and nobody bats an eye at vernacular languages

- foreign products are constantly craved for as symbols of luxury and prestige

- people like to remember the good stuff the American Colonization brought to the country like education and sanitation [which I think are good] but tend to forget the suffering and subjugation and also that one time we were, like, left to die when MNL was declared an open city in WW2 and forces were focused elsewhere instead of helping struggling soldiers trying to defend the country from more invaders and things were generally terrible

- during the ASEAN Summit a lot of squatters were shipped off to stay in a hotel for a few days to clean up the streets, and so many improvements to infrastructure and transport systems only happened b/c foreign delegates were visiting, and not really for the good of the Filipino People. The self-hate runs so strong the government treats us like second class citizens in our own country

TL;DR we as a people still struggle with a colonizer-conditioned inferiority complex that bites our butts to this very day and we have to juggle that with amiable foreign relations towards said colonizers because we’re literally an economically poor and weak nation and we gotta go fast