toaster guns

  • S.Coups: Okay boys what do you want for Christmas?
  • Seungkwan: A tambourine!
  • Dino: A new toaster oven!
  • Wonwoo: Peace and quiet... Please.
  • -Christmas Day-
  • Seungkwan: *loudly playing the tambourine, singing off key as Dino's toaster oven catches on fire*
  • DK: *screams as he uses his water guns to try to extinguish fire*
  • Wonwoo (whispering to himself): Every fucking year...
Double-0 agents were a class of refined killing machines, malicious and versatile, everyone at MI6 knew this. A higher status of agents, meant for more dangerous combat. They were the nightmares of the lesser agents dreams, and those of the financial department as well– knowing the amount of equipment they often destroyed. Not that they really needed the equipment. Each Double-0 agent had their own shift, a second persona of an animal that they could take on whenever they pleased. It was a gift highly sought out by MI6’s employment branch, the more deadly the shift the better.
    Q, the youngest quartermaster to be accepted by MI6, had taken this in stride however. Growing up in a very obscure part of posh British society, Q’s past life had been anything but normal, nonetheless great minds were never created in normal circumstances. Q had barely grown out of having spots the first time he saw an agent shift.
     001 was a grey wolf, as were agents 002 and 004. Agent 003 a deadly viper, her bright red hair amplifying the bloody spikes on her scales. 005 was a bark chocolate lab, blending in easy with a crowd and perfect for intercity work. 006 was a Bengal tiger, the quiet intensity matched the Russians vaguely ominous presence. 008 was a black mare, finicky and flighty Q found it was rare for her to go on missions but her skills in the field were still invaluable. 009 as Q’s least favorite shifter, a large tarantula roughly the size of a mans hand.
   Q had yet to see one agent shift however; James Bond, 007. The man was definitively one of the most dangerous agents at MI6 even without shifting. There were whispers and rumors of James Bond’s second shift, ranging from the fantastical ideas of a dragon or another mythical creature to the scornful ideas of a broken shift– or that he couldn’t shift at all. Q never let these ideas affect the way he treated 007 though.
    It was far too early in the morning when his mobile chimed. 007 had dropped off the radar about two hours ago, Q groaned sleepily into his mobile. “Why wasn’t I informed two hours ago then?” The young man snapped, tumbling off his bed and disconnecting the call. The agent had a habit of going missing and knowing when he was being tracked, and as of late no one could ever track him. That was until Q had control of the situation, the bastard had the intuition to know when the quartermaster was looking and allowed himself to be found easily. Struggling into his clothes, Q cursed the agent and snatched up his computer bag.
    Shuffling down the hallway to his kitchen, he grabbed his namesake mug from the counter– he’d meant to wash it this weekend. Shoving it into his bag and scrubbing his hands over his face to try and wake up a bit more, Q froze as he heard a low rumble from behind him. Definitely feline, but it was too low and deep to be Alec’s– and the tiger wasn’t allowed in Q’s flat anyways after what had happened the last time. Q started to move slowly, reaching behind the toaster for his stun gun, there was rumors of other agencies having skinwalkers as agents and Q refused to go down without a fight.
    Taking a deep breath, Q turned towards the flats living room where he’d heard the intruder. The breath caught in his throat. A lion sat hunched on Q’s sofa, head propped up on an arm rest and it’s back legs spilling over the edge. It’s mane was a light blond and its pelt littered with scars, a bullet wound stood out prominently on what Q assumed to be the lions shoulder blade. The beast was beautiful, almost looking unreal in Q’s tiny flat.
    “You better not be bleeding on my couch,” Q spoke carefully, breaking the silence enough to rouse the beast. Wincing sharply as it tried to stretch, the lion opened its eyes slowly revealing them to be a sharp and piercing blue. “007.” The quartermaster finished with a breath, setting the taser down on the counter beside him and slumping against it.
—  Lion Hearted Agent

anonymous asked:

Rue: Hello, I am SCP-426. I must be introduced this way in order to prevent ambiguity. I am an ordinary toaster, able to toast bread when supplied with electricity.

Pffft, he’s a gun-wielding toaster at least.


some homebuilt guns from my newly sorted guns folder.

((I take requests on what folder to post what days. (example rifles A-4 is rifles folder A, subfolder 4. which happens to be an Anzio 20mm.) ))

I think I have some academic pdfs on some of these…