Friend: If you had a superpower, which one would you choose?
Headline of the year
Because my two passions are my mohawk and French toast
Coming off post limit like
Beyonce could be pooping right now
People really need to stop stereotyping policemen about eating donuts. They don’t have enough time for that. They’re too busy shooting innocent black civilians.
coming to a theater near you in 2016
Crush: “you look nice today”
“so what are some of your interests??"
At a Macklemore concert like
When a pretty bitch is talking to your crush
“Did you have a good day at school, honey?”
Coming out of finals week like
sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and sent those messages, i dont really think youre a bitch