to-end-the-word

and i so badly wanted the little things to not matter. i didn’t want the thought of you touching another girl to matter or the fact that you probably don’t even think about me. i wanted it all not to matter. i wanted you to not matter because if you didn’t matter then it wouldn’t hurt that you haven’t even called in a year. it wouldn’t hurt that i still long to hear your voice at the end of the day. i didn’t want it to matter because when it matters it hurts. it hurts like hell. god, why does it hurt so much. i need it to not matter. i need you not to matter. why do you matter..
—  i should be over you//Deeply Feeling Series (via promisesofamazing)