to war with trolls

the signs and their favorite movie from 2016
  • Aries: Finding Dory
  • Taurus: Ghostbusters
  • Gemini: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  • Cancer: Suicide Squad
  • Leo: Star Trek Beyond
  • Virgo: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
  • Libra: Doctor Strange
  • Scorpio: Moana
  • Sagittarius: Deadpool
  • Capricorn: Zootopia
  • Aquarius: Captain America: Civil War
  • Pisces: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

thedupshadove  asked:

Swear on my soul I'm not mad or hating on you or anything like that, but I don't get where your beef with Yoda comes from. Can you explain?

*cracks knuckles* a couple of shitty things yoda has done, in no particular order, include:

  • telling a nine-year-old boy recently separated from his mother and whisked away by complete strangers to a strange planet “i sense much fear in you” before going on to explain how “fear is the path to the dark side. fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering”, ensuring that if the kid wasn’t already terrified he sure as hell is now, and humiliating him in front of the entire jedi council, the people he is supposed to live with for the rest of his life should he undertake the jedi path
  • telling the same boy, now a man, when he comes to yoda asking for advice on dealing with his negative emotions, to simply “let go” of all his attachments, admonishing him for his “greed”, which is all fine and well if you’re a nine hundred year old cave troll or whatever the fuck that green dick’s species is but for a young human with known emotional difficulties is basically the jedi equivalent of telling him to drink a kale shake and try some breathing exercises, you’ll feel better in no time, trust me
  • generally belittling and humiliating other members of the jedi order, including his own peers, even when the situation was not entirely their fault
  • making no real effort to apologise to ahsoka after wrongfully expelling her from the jedi order on the charge of bombing the temple
  • making little or no attempt to act on his suspicions about the activity of the sith, despite seeing the warning signs, until it was far too late
  • just generally being a bit of a bully to luke while training him imagine an asshole gym teacher crossed with a health guru but green and wrinkly and 2 feet tall
Tano and Kenobi: Braiding and Beading

Previously on Tano and Kenobi…

After his vision of a possible future, Qui-Gon Jinn insists that he be allowed to train Obi-Wan Kenobi, in spite of Ahsoka Tano and Obi-Wan’s protests. When Masters Windu and Yoda are unable to find a solution to the problem, Qui-Gon and Ahsoka agree to duel for the privilege of training the young Initiate. Fortunately for Obi-Wan, Ahsoka is the superior duelist that day…

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As soon as the duel was decided in Ahsoka’s favor Obi-Wan jumped up and ran over to his master, immediately fretting over the tortured claw her hand was frozen in. “Master, we have to get you to the healers!”

Ahsoka let out a soft, exhausted laugh and shook her head, taking her left hand and slowly, carefully, with a great deal more skill than Master Yoda or Windu expected of her, sent the Force running down her arm. The cool electricity soothed her agitated nerves, inflamed muscles and ligaments: it hurt like a blaster bolt to bare skin but it was much easier to use the Force like this in the Temple than when she was on the run from the Empire.

Everything seemed easier here.

With a relieved sigh, Ahsoka relaxed her hand and stretched it out, glad to see there was no serious damage done. Then she dropped down to one knee in front of Obi-Wan and beamed up at him. “See? I told you to trust me.”

“I did, Master. I knew you would win.” Obi-Wan’s eyes shone with such radiant joy and relief that Ahsoka couldn’t resist and she pulled him in for a good, long hug. He happily submitted to her, his arms wrapped tight around her shoulders as Masters Yoda and Windu walked over to quietly speak with Qui-Gon, who was watching the two with a mixture of suspicion and a touch of regret.

“So… do you still want to be my Padawan?” Ahsoka teased, reaching out to ruffle Obi-Wan’s thick hair. “Or have you changed your mind?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his eyes bright. “Never. Can we go to the Council now?”

Ahsoka chuckled at that, nodding. “Yes. I think we can go to the Council now.”

“Good!” He took a step back, thrilled, as Ahsoka stood up. She held out her hand, called her other saber to her, and returned both to her belt as she asked Obi-Wan to bring her cloak and Qui-Gon’s from the benches.

The Force exploded with spines but a single arch of her brow immediately quelled Obi-Wan’s churlish reaction and he nodded silently as he trotted back to them. Ahsoka knew she may have won the battle with Qui-Gon and claimed Obi-Wan as her Padawan but that didn’t give her or Obi-Wan the right to gloat about it or to rub it the Jedi Master’s face.

Yes, Qui-Gon had behaved abominably towards Obi-Wan and yes, he had continued that trend in the lead-up to the duel, but he had yielded and it wouldn’t do to rub his nose in his loss. They couldn’t afford to make an enemy of Qui-Gon Jinn, especially when their only friends seemed to consist of Masters Windu, Yoda and Padawan Quinlan Vos.

Ahsoka had no way of knowing how much she had changed the course of the future and it made sense to proceed forward with an abundance of caution. She just hoped she would be able to live up to the examples set by Masters Obi-Wan and Plo Koon if not Anakin.

Obi-Wan shuffled back over to Ahsoka’s side, nearly drowning in heavy robes. “These weigh as much as a gundark.”

“And how would you know what a gundark weighs?” Ahsoka teased, taking her robe from Obi-Wan and pulling it on, although she did agree that the robe was perhaps heavier than she would have liked. “Thank you, Padawan Kenobi. Now let’s make our goodbyes and then we will go to the Council.”

Obi-Wan visibly brightened at being called “Padawan” and he grinned up at Ahsoka. As much as he wanted to drop Qui-Gon’s robes on the floor and march out of the training room with Master Ahsoka at his side, he had to grudgingly admit that she was right.

And hearing Ahsoka call him “Padawan”? That made it all worthwhile.

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Last of the peely flesh is gone, though the tattoo is still fresh. It says ‘Five’ in Aurebesh as a tiny nod to Star Wars, and my favorite Clone Son (I wasn’t about to put it on my forehead!)

Though after how f**king good my troll tattoo is coming I am giving serious consideration to another half-sleeve of my SWTOR babes:

All my tattoos have been inked by my sister, Naomi King. She works out of NEXT! Tattoo and Piercings in Vancouver, in case anyone is in the area and looking for a rad artist to get stabbed!!