to thy own self be true


Sick, disease, got me
On my please god let me be.

A trick of the mind, a cell locked in time
Where nothing is everything and everything is mine.
Make no mistake the mistakes are all made,
All the best laid plans on paper never get laid.

Love with full heart, to thy own self stay true
And doors thought to be closed will be open to you.
Trust in your wings, young grasshopper,
To fly you must jump
Keep moving, don’t stop, get out of this funk.

Now with a head full of ash I land on my knees
Praying to a needle for a little relief, a few moments of peace.
Will I ever be free?
What beauty, what glory?
Disaster is all I can see,
Mister Authority Figure,
When I grow up all I want is to no longer be.


–A throw back from my younger years, last year.

♔Shakespeare Starters♔: HAMLET
  • This above all: to thine own self be true. 
  • There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. 
  • But never doubt I love.
  • To die, to sleep; to sleep: perchance to dream.
  • Frailty, thy name is woman!
  • For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?
  • Be all my sins remember’d!
  • He will never come again.
  • But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue.
  • One may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
  • We are arrant knaves all, believe none of us.
  • God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.
  • Tis the times’ plague, when madmen lead the blind.
  • Madness in great ones must not unwatched go. 
  • Remember me.
  • Something is rotten in the state of ________. 
  • Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t. 
  • To be, or not to be: that is the question.
  • What a piece of work is a man!
  • He is dead and gone.
  • A little more than kin, a little less than kind.
  • ‘Tis bitter cold, and I am sick at heart.
  • The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
  • I must be cruel only to be kind.
  • So full of artless jealousy is guilt.
  • The Devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape.
  • In my heart there was a kind of fighting that would not let me sleep. 
  • Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
  • Our wills and fates do so contrary run.
  • I shall not look upon his like again.
  • We fat ourselves for maggots.
  • By heaven, I’ll make a ghost of him.

By Roger Ebert


“Lost and Delirious” is a hymn to teenage idealism and hormones. It has been reviewed as a movie about steamy lesbian sex in a girls’ boarding school, which is like reviewing Secretariat on the basis of what he does in the stable. The truest words in the movie are spoken by Paulie, the school rebel, when she says she is not a lesbian because her love rises above mere categories and exists as a transcendent ideal.

Indulge me while I tell you that as a teenager I was consumed by the novels of Thomas Wolfe. His autobiographical heroes were filled with a passion to devour life, to experience everything, to make love to every woman, read every book in the library. At night he could not sleep, but wandered the campus, “uttering wild goat cries to the moon.” I read every word Wolfe ever published. Today I find him unreadable–yes, even Look Homeward, Angel and You Can’t Go Home Again . I have outlived that moment when all life seemed spread before me, all possibilities open to me, all achievements within my reach. Outlived it, but not forgotten it. “Lost and Delirious” stirred within me memories of that season in adolescence when the heart leaps up in passionate idealism–and inevitably mingles it with sexual desire.

Yes, there is nudity in “Lost and Delirious,” and some intimate moments in the dorm room when the movie recalls the freedoms of the 1970s, before soft-core sex had been replaced by hard-core violence. The movie would be dishonest if it didn’t provide us with visuals to match the libidos of its two young lovers–the heedless rebel girl Paulie (Piper Perabo) and the cautious rich kid Victoria (Jessica Pare), who is excited by her schoolgirl affair, but not brave enough to risk discovery; after all, her parents may not take her to Europe if they find out.

Paulie and Victoria represent two types familiar from everyone’s high school–the type who acts out, and the type who wants to get all the right entries under her photo in the yearbook. At reunions years from now, Paulie will be the one they tell the stories about. Piper Perabo plays her with wonderful abandon and conviction, and Jessica Pare’s Tory is sweet in her timidity. Perabo has scenes that would merely seem silly if she weren’t able to invest them with such sincerity. The scene where she stalks into the library in her fencing gear, for example, and leaps onto a table to declare her love for Victoria. The scene where she challenges Victoria’s new boyfriend to a duel. The scenes where she identifies with the wounded eagle she tends in the forest. The way she quotes great love poetry, promising, I will make me a willow cabin at thy gate. Their school is a vast, beautiful brick pile (actually Bishop’s University in Lennoxville, Quebec). It seems to have only two faculty members: The headmistress and English teacher Faye Vaughn (Jackie Burroughs), who teaches Shakespeare’s “Antony and Cleopatra” as if she sees herself as Cleopatra–or Antony. And the math teacher, Eleanor Bannet (Mimi Kuzyk). Paulie spots Bannet as a woman not quite brave enough to follow “to thine own self be true,” and insolently calls her “Eleanor” in a classroom. Faye Vaughn, on the other hand, feeds into Paulie’s hungers by being as romantic as she is–although Paulie doesn’t always see that. Also on the staff is Joe Menzies (Graham Greene), a wise old gardener who acts as a Greek chorus, uttering wry epigrams.

The story is told through the eyes of a new girl named Mouse (Mischa Barton), who is a little slow to catch on that her roommates are sapphic (the first time she sees them kissing, “I thought they were just practicing for boys”). In the immortal words of every high school movie–for Mouse, after this year, things will never be the same again. Of course, after every year, nothing is ever the same again for anyone, but when you’re 16, it seems to be all about you.

When I saw “Lost and Delirious” at Sundance, I wrote that it was one of the best crafted, most professional films at the festival. The director, Lea Pool, creates a lush, thoughtfully framed and composed film; her classical visual style lends gravitas to this romantic story. It seems important partly because the movie makes it look important, regarding it with respect instead of cutting it up into little emotional punchlines.

There is a temptation, I suppose, to try to stand above this material, to condescend to its eagerness and uncompromising idealism. To do that is to cave in to the cynicism that infects most modern films. This is a movie for those who sometimes, in the stillness of the sleepless night, are so filled with hope and longing that they feel like–well, like uttering wild goat cries to the moon. You know who you are. And if you know someone who says, “Let’s go to `Scary Movie 2’ instead,” that person is not worthy to be your friend.

The movie is being released “unrated,” which means it is too poetic, idealistic and healthfully erotic to fit into the sick categories of the flywheels at the MPAA. Mature teens are likely to find it inspirational and moving.

Happy Diwali (Divali, Deepavali, The “Festival of Lights”)! May You Experience the Inner Light

True Divali is Inner Light: “Within thine own self, behold the splendor of thy Beloved.” (Sant Tulsi Sahib of Hathras)

“Look within yourself with the inner eye. The whole expanse inside is replete with the refulgence of the Divine Light.” (Sant Dadu Dayal)

Spiritual Significance of Divali in India

“While Diwali is popularly known as the "Festival of Lights”, the most significant spiritual meaning behind it is “the awareness of the Inner Light”. Central to Hindu philosophy (primarily the Yoga, Vedanta, and Samkhya schools of Hindu philosophy) is the belief that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman. The celebration of Diwali as the “victory of good over evil”, refers to the light of higher knowledge dispelling all ignorance, the ignorance that masks one’s true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With this awakening comes compassion and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings ananda (joy or peace). Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Diwali is the celebration of this Inner Light.

“While the story behind Diwali and the manner of celebration varies from region to region (festive fireworks, worship, lights, sharing of sweets), the essence is the same – to rejoice in the Inner Light (Atman) or the underlying Reality of all things, God.” (Wikipedia)

Shakespeare T-Shirt Slogans I want to see
  • Hell is empty and all the devils are here
  • I have done thy mother
  • To thine own self be true
  • Words without thoughts never to heaven go
  • I am not bound to please thee with my answer
  • O, for a muse of fire!
  • I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man
  • Dreamers often lie
  • I shall smile, and murder while I smile

“Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out! “- Robin Williams character John Keating, the dead poets society.

Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,
It is so grounded inward in my heart.
Methinks no face so gracious is as mine,
No shape so true, no truth of such account;
And for myself mine own worth do define,
As I all other in all worths surmount.
But when my glass shows me myself indeed,
Beated and chopp’d with tann’d antiquity,
Mine own self-love quite contrary I read;
Self so self-loving were iniquity.
‘Tis thee, myself, that for myself I praise,
Painting my age with beauty of thy days.
—  Sonnet 62 by William Shakespeare

I don’t think I have to tell Taylor Swift anything! Taylor Swift knows exactly what she’s doing. But that’s the prime example of just knowing your own self, as they say, ‘to thy own self be true.’

I think she knows her talents, she knows what she’s doin’ and I think she’s smart. I would just say to anybody, know what your real talent is, know exactly where it is you want to go, be willing to sacrifice whatever you need to get that done.

—  Dolly Parton on advice she would give Taylor Swift (x)
  • What can young women learn from your example? What advice would you give Taylor Swift?:
  • Dolly Parton: I don’t think I have to tell Taylor Swift anything! Taylor Swift knows exactly what she’s doing. But that’s the prime example of just knowing your own self, as they say, ‘to thy own self be true.'
  • I think she knows her talents, she knows what she’s doin’ and I think she’s smart. I would just say to anybody, know what your real talent is, know exactly where it is you want to go, be willing to sacrifice whatever you need to get that done.

my parents: So how’s your Shakespeare essay coming along?

my brain: Thou must not lie. Thou hast not done anything but view stage-plays for endless hours while surfing on the deepest depths of the Internet. Thou hast not written anything but a few words on a page, blanker than thy creativity. To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to thy parents.

me: Great. It’s going great.

my brain: Villain! Shame upon thee and thy house!