to the boy who is now a man

2

Nostalgia hit me hard today guys…

First picture is me at age 4 on my first pony named slick at age 10

Second picture was taken today 14yrs later of a very happy old man who is now a retired pasture pony and is spoiled by all the local kids
He just turned 24 and still looks like a young boy.
I couldn’t tell you how amazing it was to get to see my old man

I decided to click the notes on one of my popular saltysapphics posts again and boy was that a mistake. It was a post about my frustration at how straight girls making relatable posts just assume all girls are into boys, but fucking apparently it was about me hating mlm because I can’t express my dislike for boys, me fucking personally, without people thinking I’m talking about men who like men. Shockingly not every experience is about being a man…
Anyway idk I’d address it on the actual blog but I’m on mobile and it’s 2 am and I feel miserable now
Also the fact that everyone in the notes was telling me that if I didn’t like men I could make my own post……. Them telling me this in the notes of my own post that I made…

Kids are interesting. I’m babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who’s homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official announcements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen.

“trans men aren’t in danger like trans women are. They are just mistaken for girls in boys clothes and that’s fairly socially acceptable”

this is a limited perspective from young, non or only partially-passing trans men, probably who live in urban areas.

I’m never mistaken for a girl in boys clothing. I am “mistaken” for a man. I have been slapped (not too big a deal), jumped and BADLY beaten by a group of men (way bigger deal), and seriously threatened with rape (one of the more terrifying moments of my life) to prove to me that I can’t “pretend to be a man” and “lie to people” and “get away with it”.

I have seen more than one post (and there’s one going around right now) promoting this idea that trans men are comparatively safe.  

are we safer than trans women? Usually. But we are by no means safe. Trans women are in IMMENSE danger, the fact that we’re in less danger than them does NOT make our real risk invalid or not as important to talk about. 

Here’s a radical idea: stop telling other trans men how at risk they are or aren’t. Your experience is NOT everyone’s experience and I am exhausted with the implication that trans men are safe. Safer, when we pass, but the same is true of trans women who pass, they are comparatively safer than trans women who don’t pass. That doesn’t make them SAFE. 

Regardless, this isn’t a “who’s in more danger” race, y’all. Trans people are at risk. Trans women can talk about being at risk without implying that trans men aren’t. And trans men can talk about being at risk without somehow detracting from the risk trans women experience. 

This isn’t a competition. Love and support your brothers and sisters and nonbinary sibs, all of whom face immense risk out there. 

theguardian.com
Stop swooning over Justin Trudeau. The man is a disaster for the planet | Bill McKibben
Donald Trump is a creep and unpleasant to look at, but at least he’s not a stunning hypocrite when it comes to climate change
By Bill McKibben

Donald Trump is so spectacularly horrible that it’s hard to look away – especially now that he’s discovered bombs. But precisely because everyone’s staring gape-mouthed in his direction, other world leaders are able to get away with almost anything. Don’t believe me? Look one country north, at Justin Trudeau.

Look all you want, in fact – he sure is cute, the planet’s only sovereign leader who appears to have recently quit a boy band. And he’s mastered so beautifully the politics of inclusion: compassionate to immigrants, insistent on including women at every level of government. Give him great credit where it’s deserved: in lots of ways he’s the anti-Trump, and it’s no wonder Canadians swooned when he took over.

But when it comes to the defining issue of our day, climate change, he’s a brother to the old orange guy in Washington. 

Not rhetorically: Trudeau says all the right things, over and over. He’s got no Scott Pruitts in his cabinet: everyone who works for him says the right things. Indeed, they specialize in getting others to say them too – it was Canadian diplomats, and the country’s environment minister, Catherine McKenna, who pushed at the Paris climate talks for a tougher-than-expected goal: holding the planet’s rise in temperature to 1.5C (2.7F).

But those words are meaningless if you keep digging up more carbon and selling it to people to burn, and that’s exactly what Trudeau is doing. He’s hard at work pushing for new pipelines through Canada and the US to carry yet more oil out of Alberta’s tar sands, which is one of the greatest climate disasters on the planet.

Last month, speaking at a Houston petroleum industry gathering, he got a standing ovation from the oilmen for saying: “No country would find 173bn barrels of oil in the ground and just leave them there.”

Yes, 173bn barrels is indeed the estimate for recoverable oil in the tar sands. So let’s do some math. If Canada digs up that oil and sells it to people to burn, it will produce, according to the math whizzes at Oil Change International, 30% of the carbon necessary to take us past the 1.5C target that Canada helped set in Paris.

That is to say, Canada, which represents one half of 1% of the planet’s population, is claiming the right to sell the oil that will use up a third of the earth’s remaining carbon budget. Trump is a creep and a danger and unpleasant to look at, but at least he’s not a stunning hypocrite.

Continue Reading.

1. Every second of every minute you were with him, you thought of him as God, when he should have been seeing a Goddess in you too. But instead he just saw a girl and that is why it hurts this much. You need to love each other for the humanity within you, or you should love each other like Gods, there is no middle path.

2. The darkest version of this kind of damage is how little you think of yourself right now. And it is because he didn’t want you. But think of all the people who do want you, who think you are special, who think the world of you. They may not be him, but the trouble is, you let him become the sun when you should have let him be human instead. Humans are flawed. No one deserves that pedestal in your head but you.

3. There will always be another boy. But what you should be looking for is a man.

4. The strongest thing about you was the thing he had forgotten to appreciate. And you deserve someone who looks at that very thing about you and respects and admires you greatly for it.

5. He didn’t understand, nor appreciate everything you had given up just to see him smile that day. And who wants to be with someone that doesn’t appreciate you?

6. Even when you said you needed him the most, even when you had given him that third, fourth, fifth chance to make amends, he did not apologise the way he should have to you. and you deserve more than that any day.

7. There is enough kindness and strength in your heart that you will want to give him a third, fourth, fifth chance. Don’t. Not today, not tomorrow, not day after. No one is worth the time and effort, no one other than you for yourself.

8. Start thinking of three things that made you smile today and every day. And remember that without him, there are still things in the world that make you smile. Hold onto that.

9. Do everything you enjoyed when he thought was annoying or simply not good enough, even the smallest things. Feel the freedom of no one telling you what you should and shouldn’t do.

10. Remember the girl you were before you met him. Remember her, with the smiles and the grace and the funny stories that didn’t involve him. Remember her with the strength to get over anything. Channel her. Bring her back. She deserves resurrection.

—  Nikita Gill, 10 Things to Remember After You Break Up With Him
Alternate Titles For Every "Be More Chill" Song
  • Jeremy's Theme: Sp00ky
  • More Than Survive: Spoiler Alert: You Actually ARE The One Who The Story's About
  • I Love Play Rehearsal: That One Theatre Kid™ You Knew In High School
  • The Squip Song: iiIIIIIT'S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
  • Two-Player Game: Gay but Not Quite As Gay As "Sincerely Me"
  • The Squip Enters: Hello Naughty Children It's Possession Time
  • Be More Chill Pt. 1: Local Teen Still Kinda On The Fence About Being Mind-Controlled
  • Do You Wanna Ride?: Girl Who Just Called Jeremy "Jerry" Five Seconds Ago Offers Him Both a Ride and Her Body
  • Be More Chill Pt. 2: Local Teen Now Fully On Board With Being Mind-Controlled
  • More Than Survive (Reprise): Please Just Let This Poor Boy Beat His Meat In Peace
  • A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into: So Say, Hypothetically, There's This Hot Guy, Who I Like, Who's Definitely Not You,,,
  • The Squip Lurks: S p 0 0 k y
  • Upgrade: Damn Jeremy Why'd You Have To Do My Mans Michael Like That
  • Halloween: Brooke, Honey, There's a Reason No One Ever Goes As a Sexy Dog
  • Do You Wanna Hang?: I'm Kinkshaming Joe Iconis
  • Michael in the Bathroom: You Think This Is A Funny Song At First And Then Suddenly You're Crying
  • The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set a Fire): Aggravated Arson Has Never Been More Catchy
  • The Pitiful Children: Beep Bop Boop Beep Bop Boop
  • The Pants Song: Recruit Your Son's Gay Best Friend To Get Him To Stop Stealing Your Car
  • The Play: Okay But Where's That Post-Apocalyptic Midsummer Night's Dream Bootleg
  • Voices In My Head: Everyone Inexplicably Forgives Jeremy For Almost Getting All Of Them Fucking Killed

Things I have learned by joining the local Methodist Church’s coffee & knitting circle (where I am the only person under 60 years old):

  • How to double knit very, very quickly
  • Mrs. Jonson on the third pew won’t mind her own business, bless her heart. And she buys her pies pre-made for all the church functions.
  • Ways that women cheated the system in 1950s Texas to get into college and start careers. Including a memorable “He told me I wouldn’t last a week, but then 6 years later, I had to let him go because his production was way down.” *drinks sip of coffee*
  • We Might Be Conservative But Gosh Darn That Trump Bless His Heart He Doesn’t Know Anything About God Or Texas
  • And On That Note, God And Texas Are The Only Good Things Left In The World. Erin Write That Down.
  • How to rescue a dropped stitch and make it look like it never happened
  • Public schools and inclusive, desegregated education will single-handedly save the world
  • Sharing recipes is a sacred bonding and community-building tradition that rivals the greatest political negotiations and land deals in history
  • “It’s better that you prefer girls honey, the Boyfriend Curse doesn’t apply to your girlfriend and a lovin’ god’ll keep on a-lovin. You better make that girl a sweater.’” 
    • (Boyfriend Curse = knit a sweater for a boy and he’ll leave you when you finish it)
  • Mrs. Barbara’s husband cheated in ‘76, resulting in a divorce. She thought it was the end of the world because her youth had already passed, but now she’s an engineer and married to a kind, good man who she met when she went back to college in ‘79.
  • “The only things you can trust in are God, your good sense, and the wisdom of those older women you grew up admiring. The rest is crap.”

anonymous asked:

do you have any victuuri model au?

Hi! I found a few here that I think you’ll enjoy!


Fashion/Model AU


Kings in Couture by slightlied, Teen, 15k (WIP)
A devil wears prada au in which victor is the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, yuuri’s his new secretary, and instead of talking about his feelings, victor just sends him on a bunch of errands. I LOVE THIS FIC!!!!!!

Icicles Melt in Summer by Shadow_sensei, Teen, 7.6k (WIP)
But more to the point, Victor Nikiforov, model for the Agape shoe and accessory line and face of Stammi Vicino Menswear, is sitting in one of his chairs.

Comfort Food by youaremarvelous, Mature, 20k (WIP)
Viktor is a wildly popular male model who is in crisis over aging out of the industry. He runs into Yuuri, an international university student struggling to make friends in the big city, and decides to make him his pet project. Unfortunately, matchmaking isn’t as easy as he thought it would be—especially when he starts developing complicated feelings for his client. So cute!!

urgent need of gravity by RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus), Teen, 45k (WIP)
AU in which Yuuri is a make-up artist working in a small salon when he’s suddenly invited to work for big time fashion brand Stammi Vicino right alongside its top male model, Viktor Nikiforov, and love isn’t all glitter and perfectly-winged eyeliner. Thumbs up!

Rule of Thirds by genuivity, Gen, 2.3k
Victor sent the camera a smirk, taunting, seductive, come and get me, and it hit Yuuri like a punch in the face. He clicked the camera a few more times than necessary, partly to hide his own blush but mostly because he was so caught off guard. THIS IS SO CUTE

Koi no Yokan by moimiles, Teen, 35k (WIP)
Yuuri is a somewhat known designer who dropped everything after a disastrous show. Almost a year later, he starts casting models for his new collection and world famous model Victor Nikiforov shows up, wanting to be a part of the show regardless of how much he gets paid. LOVE!

Beauty in Everything by wecarryoninmindpalaces, Gen, 5.8k (WIP)
Fashion photographer Yuuri Katsuki wakes up to find five fantastical stories from living sex symbol Victor Nikiforov confessing his love. Cute 5+1 fic!

“Eros”, inspired by Yuri Katsuki by prettypetitpanda, Mature, 1.2k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov, world renowned model and designer, meets a drunk Yuri Katsuki at a party and is inspired by his charms (and his ass). Yuri has no memory of this and is very confused why his idol suddenly showed up at his front door. Highly recommend!

Lessons in Love by rinsled05, Teen, 14k (WIP)
Viktor is a fashion designer who owns a luxury lingerie store and is in a creative rut. Yuuri is a graduate with a business degree and desperately eager to prove himself. Yuri can’t understand how the hell the two fell for each other. (Phichit totally gets it, though.) SO GOOD OMG

Just Remember by YuujinA, Teen, 3.7k
Yuri is a freelance photographer hired for a private photo taking session with the Russian model he’s been crushing on for ages. Great one shot!

The Return of the Little Piggy by SASS_QUEEN, Mature, 4.4k (WIP)
Once there was a boy named Katsuki Yuuri, who was shy, loved to make clothes, had adorable smiles and was fatter than the usual average human being. Now years later, there is now a man only known as Y.K. Fashion tyrant, multimillionaire, professional cold-stare giver. REALLY good so far!

Tater headcanon/ficlet

Tater’s parents divorced when he was very young, he doesn’t even remember a time they were together (although they had an amicable relationship post-divorce). His father was a hockey player, his mother was a figure skating champion.

He grew up in Russia with his father, but would spend a couple months every year visiting his mother in the USA. She retired from competition, but continued on to be a formidable youth figure skating coach. Her students were always successful.

When Tater visits his mom, he usually tags along to her early morning practices. Truthfully, he catches a bit more sleep in the stands most days, but he does really enjoy watching the progress her students have made on days mornings when he’s well-rested.

When he’s 11 or so, his mom takes on a tiny blond boy as her newest student, and Tater absolutely LOVES watching him practice. The kid is fast learner, and young Tater has been around the best and brightest of figure skating enough to know that this boy is going to be great.

Even when Tater returns home to Russia after his visit, he still asks his mom about how the little blond boy is doing with his lessons. The next time he visits, the improvement is already staggering. Now he eagerly attend his mom’s early morning lessons to see what this talented tiny boy can do.

Tater meets him once, but the funny little American boy talks very fast and Tater has no idea what he’s saying. He manages to say “Hi” and “good skate” and then stares, completely overwhelmed by this ball of blond energy shaking his hand and talking a mile a minute. Tater knows he’s saying something nice about his mom, because the boy is smiling a lot and looks over at her a couple times, but he knows very little English, so it mostly goes over his head. Still, it makes him smile, and he’s happy his mom has found such an enthusiastic student.

The years go by, and although Tater is sad to hear that his mom’s star pupil no longer figure skates, he gets busy with his hockey career. His mother has other talented students now, and she’s back in Russia. Life goes on. It’s been years since he’s thought of the tiny blond boy…

But one day, his teammate Jack starts (does he ever stop?) bragging about how wonderful his boyfriend is, and brings him along for a fun shinny game with the Falcs to show off Bitty’s skills and speed.

“Remember last time we did this, Bits?” Jack teases his boyfriend while the other guys set up the nets.

“The boys made me do a jump in my hockey skates for the school paper,” Bitty replies with a laugh.

Tater insists on seeing Jack’s little blond boyfriend do a jump, because he does miss watching figure skating like in his childhood. Bitty obliges, and the moment he lifts off the ice, Tater is filled with nostalgia. He knew something was familiar about this energetic young man.

“Hey, little B!” Tater skates over to Bitty immediately. “You’re so good. Always jumping so high, even in hockey skates.”

“Well, it would be better if I were in figure skates, and had a bit more practice…”

“Is okay. Long time since you started hockey, yes? When you were 15?”

Bitty doesn’t think too much of it, aside from being a bit of embarrassment that Jack has told his friends THAT much about him. “Yeah, I figure skated for years before that.”

“So many championships. Good skate.”

Bitty chuckles, remembering the time he met Katya’s quiet son who didn’t speak much English. That poor shy boy had only managed to tell him “good skate” too. He was hit with a wave of déja vu. This giant of a man was about 10,000 times more talkative than that boy, but now that Bitty thought about it, he did look a little familiar. “Um… Tater? This may sound strange, but…”

“So B, you know my mom Katya, yes?”

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“We should send her selfie now.”

cave me in (m)

based on the prompt, “fake relationship au“

pairing: shin hoseok | reader
genre: romance, angst, smut
word count: 16,184
description:  you’ve never regretted being shin hoseok’s best friend, but when you realize you’re in love with him when he’s supposed to be your fake boyfriend at his ex-girlfriend’s wedding you’re actually starting to.
author’s note: IT’S FINALLY DONE. this was supposed to be a drabble (as if)…. for @wonhopes thank you for requesting this and feeding into my love for wonho….. and thank you @wangpuppo for listening to me change my mind a million times about the plot for this.


Originally posted by lostinmonstax


You weren’t supposed to fall in love. (Not again, at least.)

All you were supposed to do was fake a smile, look good on his arm, and make everyone believe that you were in love.

Nowhere in your agreement did it say to enjoy the warmth of his arms, the smile that curves on his beautiful reddened lips, the sound of his deep, guttural voice whether it was when he was talking or singing or even whispering sweet nothings in your ear. It was all supposed to be a simple exchange where you finally got to see your best friend, not revisit feelings you shoved away when you were in high school. But maybe the heart wants what it wants. Maybe you just liked the thrill of doing things that you shouldn’t or the way he made you feel just from a mere hand on your hip or caress of his fingertips brushing back a wild strand of hair…

Everything about Shin Hoseok was positively the worst and best thing that could’ve happened to you, and it’s his damn proposition to blame, unless you want to get more technical then maybe it was the moment he entered your life.

Keep reading

NHL!Bitty - Origin: From Samwell to Seattle

(I haven’t posted any of my background stuff on how Bitty gets from Samwell to the Schooners, so here’s my bullet point breakdown of how/when/why)

Part I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping | Part III - Post-Season


- Senior year, Bitty is the first openly gay NCAA captain of any men’s sport. When Samwell wins the Frozen Four, commentators start speculating on him being a draft prospect. Jack isn’t out yet.

- ‘Get Bittle in the NHL’ goes viral as an equality issue and the NHL is under pressure to recruit him, which creates this divisive ‘is he really good enough to play’/’the league is homophobic’ situation among fans and within the NHL.

- Bitty gets a lot of heat from all sides and Jack is really worried about his bf, who is living every coming-out fear Jack’s ever had. The Falcs can’t recruit Bitty because Jack has already disclosed their relationship to management, so Jack can’t protect Bitty.

- Things go downhill quickly after a hacker leaks a series of emails between the Commissioner and several owners, wherein he says an AHL franchise needs to ‘take one for the team’ and recruit Bittle so the NHL won’t have to deal with the ‘problem’ anymore. 

- The league course-corrects hard and is bending over backward to get Bitty to sign off on their official apology, but Bitty is disgusted by the whole process and doesn’t want to participate in the draft just to make the league look better. He isn’t planning to go pro at all, and now he’s hesitant to move to Providence with Jack, concerned that he might accidentally out Jack and land him with the same PR problems. 

- Bitty goes back to Georgia the summer after he graduates. 

- After things calm down a bit, Bitty gets a call from the new Schooners owner, a progressive tech billionaire who hates the NHL commissioner and genuinely wants to sell Bitty on Seattle. Unsure of himself and his relationship, Bitty agrees to the meeting… 

- And surprise! Bitty loves Seattle, the team, the ownership group, the food, everything. Even less of a surprise, the team loves Bitty and offers him a two-year contract with an option for renewal.

- The distance hurts, but it actually makes things easier because the risk of Jack being outed is much less if he’s not sharing an apartment with Bitty.  

- Bitty understands now why Jack needs to prove himself before he comes out, the same way Bitty needs to prove himself now. Jack deserves that buffer, and Bitty can help in his own small way.

- At the same time, after seeing how Bitty was treated Jack doesn’t want to come out until his boyfriend is established enough that he won’t be remembered as ‘that gay hockey player’ or ‘Jack Zimmermann’s boyfriend’. They’re just two dumb boys looking out for each other. They agree to revisit coming out together after Bitty’s two-year contract ends.

- Bitty’s rookie year is a hell of an adjustment, he billets with d-man called Carter Morin who is a year younger than Bitty but still has three pro seasons under his belt. Carter is convinced Bitty will be a target because of his size and sexuality, so he becomes obsessed with teaching Bitty how to ‘defend’ himself. This basically boils down to lessons in ‘how to play dirty and not get caught’.

- During these lessons, Bitty realizes he has a lot of anger he’s not dealing with. He’s pissed about being marginalized by the league, the press that won’t stay out of his and Jack’s business, he’s pissed he can’t publicly be with his boyfriend, he’s furious WBC are planning to picket his first home game. He has years of repressed southern rage and he doesn’t have to play nice to make bad people feel good. Not anymore.

- Off the ice Bitty is a perfect gentleman, does tons of outreach, fundraising, he visits hospitals and coaches day-camps, after that first season he’s a fan favorite, but on the ice Bitty slowly becomes a living embodiment of ‘float like a butterfly, sting like a bee’; he’s a good player, everyone knows it, but now he’s absolutely ruthless and spends his fair share of time in the penalty box, initially for defending himself, later for defending others. 

- During a particularly aggressive Schooners game, a commentator jokingly describes a post-fight Bitty as Bob’s spiritual successor, coining the term ‘Bad Bittle’. Bob is elated, Jack is horrified.

- Bitty ultimately makes friends on the team, builds a following, and becomes an integral part in building Seattle’s fledgling franchise into a championship team.

- Schooners take the cup in Bitty’s second year and Jack is surprisingly okay with his boyfriend getting a ring before him, it means they’re one step closer to being untouchable

- The Falconers dethrone the Schooners the following season and win the championship. Jack and Bitty come out/marry on Jack’s cup day. They don’t wear wedding bands, they wear their cup rings.

2

Stay  ~Jeff Atkins x Reader~

There’s something beautiful about the summer- they way it creates a new version of reality where music sounds better and happiness feels sweeter. Parties can give the same kind of feeling where nothing feels real, but all of it feels great. Well, until the next morning.

This makes an end of the summer party the pinnacle of a new reality. Inhibitions run low and everything else is on overdrive. In a week they will all be students again, studying to ensure the best future possible. But for tonight they are 60% alcohol and 40% bad decisions.

“Y/N!” Jess squeals with excitement, running towards the girl who just entered the room. She had been away visiting family abroad for the majority of the summer, and while the beaches had given a whole new meaning to the word ‘paradise’, this was where she was truly happiest.

“Jess!” she returns the enthusiasm, hugging her best friend tightly. The warm breezes that blew in through her window every morning this past summer brought her comfort, but this was home.

“I want in,” Justin grins, approaching the two and enveloping them between his arms.

“God I’ve missed you guys,” she sighs contentedly.

“You have so much third wheeling to catch up on,” Jess teases light heartedly.

Her face twists up unpleasantly at the thought. She loves both Jess and Justin dearly, but she does not love the thought of third wheeling. “With all due respect, I think I’ll pass.”

“Is that Y/N Y/L/N?!” a fourth voice enters the picture, causing the trio to part and turn towards the person walking towards them.

Jeff Atkins. Baseball star and literal ray of sunshine with the face of an angel and the body of a Greek God.

“Hey, Jeff,” she laughs, walking away from Jess and Justin to meet him halfway.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” Jeff grins warmly, brushing her arm with his hand. It’s a sweet gesture. He’s always been so sweet.

“It’s only been like two months,” she mirrors his grin. It’s impossible not to smile back at someone who radiates warmth the way he does.

“Feels like forever though. Especially since I was used to seeing you everyday at school. You look nice by the way,” he bumps her shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” she chuckles, “I look like I always do.”

“Exactly.”

She bites her lips together before looking down shyly and letting them fall apart into a smile. Jeff Atkins was so genuinely good in a way that was uniquely him.

“Jeff!” Troy yells from the outside patio, “Beer pong, now, c’mon man!”

“Coming!” Jeff yells back to Troy, but turns back to her before walking away. “Come watch us play? You can practice cheering me on for baseball season,” his mouth twists into a smirk.

“Who says I’m gonna come to your baseball games?” She challenges playfully, using quick wit to redeem herself from the shy smile.

“Don’t break my heart, Y/N,” he pouts childishly, walking backward to join the boys for a game of beer pong but not breaking eye contact with her. He finally turns away from her to exit the house and join those outside, but not before mouthing a “pleaasssseeee” and sticking out his bottom lip.

“I’ll be there in a second!” she yells so he can hear her over the music.

His pout transforms into a grin before he disappears through the threshold, indicating that he heard her.

“So how about a double date instead of third wheeling?” Justin and Jess approach her with Justin wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh shut up,” her face heats up at the thought, “He’s a nice guy. He’s friendly with everyone.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t flirt with everyone,” Jess interjects, crossing her arms over her chest vindictively.

“He didn’t ask me to cheer for him,” Justin fakes offense, “Honestly I’m a little hurt.”

“Fuck off, Justin,” she laughs loudly, putting her hands over her face.

“You better get out there,” Justin presses, gesturing to the sliding door, “After all, it’s mine and Jess’s two month anniversary so an intense make-out session could happen at anytime.”

“Bye!” she turns on her heels quickly, running away from her friends before they could make things awkward, or more awkward.

***
Five cups of jungle juice and two games of beer pong later she’s sitting on a folding lawn chair watching Jeff singlehandedly win a third game of beer pong since Troy had wandered off and was bothering Hannah and Clay.

After sinking another shot, Jeff notices where Troy had gone. A brief look of panic flashes across his face before he mutters a quick, “be right back!”, making a beeline for Troy. Jeff was just about as invested in Clay and Hannah as Clay was in Hannah. She wondered just how much better off the world would be if everyone had the same heart as Jeff.

“Did you save the day?” she asks upon Jeff’s return. She’s quite drunk and seeing two of everything, including two Jeffs. How wonderful would that be? A world with two Jeff Atkins. Incredible.

“I don’t know about that,” he chuckles modestly, “It’s up to Clay.”

“Meanwhile that beer run is up to you, buddy” Troy points out, his words slurring together.

“Later man,” Jeff replies, picking up a ping pong ball.

“Because you definitely need more alcohol,” she rolls her eyes at Troy, a sick feeling blossoming in her stomach.

“Don’t be a buzzkill, Y/N,” Troy retorts.

“Hey, relax,” Jeff snaps at Troy, “you’ll get your beer.”

The sick feeling in her stomach intensifies tenfold. She doesn’t want him to go, but she can’t beg him to stay. He’s not drunk, he would never jeopardize his life or anyone else’s so recklessly. But something about it still doesn’t feel right. He shouldn’t go.

She stands up, wobbling slightly. She grabs the back of her lawn chair to steady herself before heading back for the house. The twisting in her stomach is ominous in a way that refuses to be ignored.

“Where’re you going?” Jeff asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

“I need another drink,” she mumbles, brushing past him.

***
Three shots and a game of suck and blow later she’s feeling light and airy. All the anxiety from earlier has been replaced with a tingling feeling that reaches her feet. She’s quite hammered, and all the slip ups in suck and blow have her laughing and her sides aching. She’s starting to get lightheaded.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” she gasps in-between fits of laughter.

“Can you even walk?” Jess giggles.

“I’ll crawl if I have to,” she shrugs, stumbling her way out the door.

***
There’s nothing like the refreshing sensation of cool air hitting your skin after being cooped up in a house full of drunks, especially when you’re drunk yourself. The feeling of a breeze on her face is intoxicating in its own right, so she continues to walk around the outside of the house until she reaches the front.

There’s someone else at the front of the house, too. She can only see their back as they walk towards the row of cars, but she knows who it is. Suddenly she remembers why she felt the need to down three shots of vodka.

“Atkins,” she calls out, stumbling a bit as she walks forward.

He turns around at the sound of his name, smiling when he sees who it is. “Hey, you. Looks like you got that drink you wanted,” he laughs lightheartedly at her shaky balance.

“You making that beer run?” she asks, wringing her hands together nervously.

“Yeah. I’m not even a little buzzed, don’t worry,” he says soothingly.

“Stay,” she says softly.

“Huh?” he tilts his head to the side.

She continues to walk forward until she’s standing right in front of him, her weight falling to the side enough to make her falter. He reaches out to steady her, keeping a firm grasp on her side. She places her hands on his chest to steady herself before locking her eyes on his.

“Stay,” she repeats.

“Y/N, it’s okay I’m completely fine I promise. I only had two beers like two hours ago,” he assures, his voice gentle.

“I know, but it’s not like anybody needs anymore alcohol. I’m one of the more sober ones right now and that says a lot. Honestly I don’t even know how I made it out here on my own,” she sighs, “Just stay, please. ”

He looks at her softly, his eyes studying the worry etched onto her face. She feels so delicate in his grasp, like a porcelain doll that could shatter with too much pressure. He has always been enamored with her.

“Okay,” he moves his hands to hold her face, “I’ll stay.”

She lets out a heavy breath, letting her forehead rest against his chest and wrapping her arms around him. Maybe she was worrying over nothing, maybe she wasn’t, but she’s unexplainably relieved at those words.

“You gotta promise to watch me play baseball though,” he teases.

“I’ll be there every game with a sign that has your name on it,” she laughs, tilting her chin up to look at him.

“You gotta stop looking at me like that,” he shakes his head,“I might just fall in love with you.”

“Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Don’t leave for two months at a time,” he counters, grinning boyishly.

“I’d stay right here forever if I could,” she tightens her arms around him.

“I’d kiss you if you weren’t like 10 drinks deep right now,” he laughs, rubbing her back gingerly.

“Let’s go inside. I need to get sober. Right now. Immediately,” she pulls away, grabbing his hand to tow him behind her. Their laughter echoes down the empty street as they run around to the back of the house.

There’s something beautiful about the end of summer- the way things begin to feel more permanent. A simple request can change so much. All he had to do was stay. And he did.


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Iz Explains Stuff So You Don’t Have to: The Nightwing Debacle.

Hey guys! As promised, here’s a write up of what’s currently making waves in the DC/comic fandom today. Given that this subject somewhat related to the Hydra-cap nonsense, I thought it should be something I cover as well, just to sorta give non-comics fans/DC comics readers who might see this and want some context.

1. Who is Nightwing?

You guys know Robin, Batman’s sidekick who they almost always leave out of movies? This is the first (yes there’s more than one, but that’s a topic for another day) and possibly most iconic one to pop-culture. Named Richard “Dick” Grayson, Dick is the son of the flying Grayson’s , two circus acrobats who died due to mob interference during a show (he also has Romani heritage (which the comics often ignore) This will be important later). Bruce took Dick in and the rest is well history.

Dick probably has the most screen time over any Robin in film/tv adaptations, including Teen Titans, Young Justice, The Lego Batman movie, the original Adam West series, and Batman Forever. He’s arguably the best known Robin to non-comic’s readers.

Because time does pass in comics occasionally, Dick grew up and after a series of events that have been retconned so many times it’s not worth getting into, ditched the Robin mantle. He would later take up the title of Nightwing.

2. Why the name Nightwing?

Dick is a HUGE fan of Superman (no really, Superman is pretty much his uncle) and after he ditched the Robin title, Superman and him had a talk where Superman told him of two legendary kryptonian heroes Nightwing and Flamebird. Inspired by the story, Dick would take on the name of the former (the latter name has a much more varied history).

3. Okay, so what’s the big deal besides the Robin thing?

To compress a lot of history into a paragraph, Nightwing is the one DC hero that like almost every other DC hero trusts and likes. Most of the Justice League has known Dick since he was a little kid and trust him implicitly for both his general good nature and reputation of being like, a really fucking good guy. Like a really good guy. A good enough guy that when Batman was told to let his own world die to let a better more “ideal” world survive, he asked if Richard Grayson was in it to make his choice on if it actually was a better world. (Dick was not in this world, which made Batman hard pass on that shit. Really. This is a thing that happened.)

Dick has also led multiple successful superhero teams, worked on the league himself, and donned the Batman title for awhile.

4. Okay, got it. So what’s going on?

Today DC announced a new six issue limited series in an elseworld (which is a world that takes place outside of canon. Think an AU.) This is the summary:

NIGHTWING: THE NEW ORDER is the story of a future world without “weapons”—where superpowers have been eliminated and outlawed. The man responsible? None other than Dick Grayson, a.k.a. Nightwing, now leader of a government task force called the Crusaders who are charged with hunting the remaining Supers. But when events transpire which turn the Crusaders’ aim toward Grayson’s own family, the former Boy Wonder must turn against the very system he helped create, with help from the very people he’s been hunting for years—the last metahumans of the DC Universe.

5. OH NO IS THIS HYDRA CAP ALL OVER AGAIN?

Yes and no. So far, it’s safe to say that this series does echo Hydra Cap in a paragon for good and justice becoming the figurehead of a fascist regime. However, everything else is kind of more murky.

For one, this series is an elseworld, which means unlike Hydra Cap, it doesn’t take place in the regular DC universe. This is not the fate of the Dick Grayson we know and love, nor is it him; it’s a version of him in a different universe. It’s also a limited run, so we got an enddate on this sucker off the bat.

Second, this is more general fascism instead of nazi brand fascism. The first cover echoes other fascist/oppressive regimes but it applies to multiple besides the Nazi party. In the DC universe, metahumans aren’t coded as a minority group (though smaller subsets are, like the Superfamily being coded Jewish), so it’s more sci-fi than an allegory for real life oppression (though if depending on the details of this event, that remains to be seen. The writer took to Twitter to state there is absolutely no genocide here in this book but the first few pages imply otherwise and long story short, I’m not convinced). The group Dick works with is also entirely new and unlike Hydra has no link in history to the Nazi party, making the claim that they’re a general “evil fascist villain” hold water.

Third, unlike Hydra Cap, this book is branded as Dick learning the error of his choices rather than a long saga to try to convince us he has a point. I doubt we’ll see the same extent of “we should feel bad for Dick oppressing all these people” that we see in Hydra cap. However, this also remains to be seen. Long story short, it’s never gonna try to get us to root for the bad guy.

6. So it’s fine?

Now I wouldn’t say that. Making an iconic character a fascist is still something to side eye, and a lot of my above caveats can change if the story itself decides to make those connections (i.e if there are prison camps for example). It’s also important to note, that making a Romani character a fascist, and one under the label of “crusader” is in terrible taste, considering the Romani people’s history with both.

The writer is also someone I don’t have a ton of faith in when it comes to nuance. (though to his credit, he is assuring and validating concerns on twitter rather than laughing us all off as SJWs).

What I’m saying is that it’s gonna be hard to figure out exactly this is going to play out until I see the first issue. I think the storyline and the advertising is something we should be critical of, but a lot still depends on how the book approaches it. This isn’t to say you should “give it a chance” only that we might want to hold off from saying DC is promoting fascism until we see if they’re gonna take this from a “feel bad for Dick angle, not all fascists are bad” or a “Dick fucked up hard” angle. We can just say this storyline is at the very least insensitive given current events and Dick’s ethnic roots.

Plus, Dick turning on Superman is just weird, and the preview pages are not helping my concerns.

So be critical of the concept but be careful not to declare what the narrative is trying to say until we know what the narrative is.

7. And if it does come out to be “feel bad for Dick, not all fascists, narrative supports the fascist regime for just wanting the best for us” angle?

Then go crazy guys. Though even if it does go that way, it still won’t be as Hydra cap. Because at least it’s still only a elseworld.  Which is like the worst consolation prize ever.

Gift AU Idea

The thing about the Gift, is that you never quite know what you are going to get, and what it’s going to cost. 

It sometimes cost a lot, and early - for such little payback that it hardly seemed worth it. It sometimes cost nothing anyone could ever know - and changed a whole life. Sometimes it was a gift at birth, and sometimes a curse before death, but it always happened. 

When Jack Zimmerman was born, his parents were beyond thrilled. He was a weird looking baby, but my god, they loved him more than they ever thought would be possible. That first night, at midnight, a light filled up the dark room and formed a fae shape, indistinct but instantly recognisable. 

“I will take his first last breath.” The solid light said, before fading completely. Bob, who had his ability to grow a beard taken as payment for his ability to always land a solid punch, and Alicia (who lost all her memories before she was 4 so that her smile could light up a room) looked at each other and blinked. 

Because what the hell did that mean? 

-

When the light filled the hospital room where one Eric Richard Bittle lay sleeping, both his parents were wide awake and trembling. Susan lost her ability to read at 19, and Coach lost his own name three weeks after his 4th birthday, and both knew the sting of a ‘gift’ that never really lived up to the price they paid. Neither of them wanted their darling baby to suffer - to lose anything. They wanted to give him the world. Coach glared at the light while Susan hid her face in her hands. 

“That’s my son and I swear to all that is good in this world if you hurt him, if you hurt my boy-” his voice broke at the end. He’d paid a high price for his gift, lost his name and gained only the ability to write with both hands. Susan had it worse - she remembered words, her love of books, the simple skill of reading labels or instructions - gone now… all for the knowledge of when it was best to pick the ripest fruit. 

And god, he feared for his boy. 

“I will take his joyous childhood.”

And Coach found out that it was impossible to punch a living light.

-

Sometimes you met people who had the same gift, or paid the same price. Shitty lost his name, just like Coach, and Bitty was pretty sure thats why he trusted the mustachioed man so much. His gift was never feeling cold. Ransom lost his birthmark and Holster lost his first love - and gained each other, a soul bond so strong that sometimes it was difficult for them to tell who was feeling what. Lardo swapped her appendix for the ability to see in the dark, Nursey lost his spatial awareness for his love of words and Dex lost his calm. Dex wasn’t quite sure what he got, which wasn’t all that uncommon because really… in a world where your sense of smell can be traded for the ability to flip a pancake… sometimes it just wasn’t easy to work out what your gift was. 

Chowder lost his baby teeth for his joy of life, Johnson his ability to tell the time for some weird alternative universe only he could see. 

Jack lost his first last breath on the bathroom floor of a nondescript hotel room for a second chance - Bitty lost his carefree childhood with every taunt and shove as he grew up. 

Bitty figured that the price was okay. He could make the best pies anyone had ever tasted. 

Sometimes Jack wondered if it was worth it. 

And of course, sometimes… you got it wrong. 

-

Bitty always knew his childhood was going to suck. His mamma and Coach did their level best to make sure that home was safe and secure, but it didn’t stop the nightmares at night, the fear of monsters under the bed or the sheer god-awful time at school. The only time he was ever at ease was in the kitchen, where his mamma taught him to bake using her own way of things, never needing to measure, never relying on a recipe she couldn’t read. So, Bitty, and his parents, always just assumed that he was going through hell as a kid, so he could bake. 

Coach hated it. Coach hated a lot of things, but seeing his son scared and frightened one too many times had taken its toll on the man. They moved three weeks after the supply closet incident. 

All for the sake of some stupid pies, his son suffered. 

He never did eat a single one. 

-

It wasn’t until Bitty got to Samwell that his actual gift turned up…

Sam's face and Dean's heart

Sam is hurting too. He just lost a brother.

But there’s a potentially world-ending, apocalypse-starting antichrist baby in the house who needs to be taken out or taken care of.

He looks at Dean’s face, and knows that Dean won’t follow him inside. That Dean can’t leave Cas now.

He lets Dean have his moment because no matter how much danger they’re in, Dean just lost his love.

Dean told Mary that Azazel killed the girl Sam loved.

Bobby told the boys that Mary tells the story of losing John Winchester, the man she loved.

And Dean Winchester just lost the man he loves.

Dean is going to have to deal with that realization when Cas is resurrected.

i cant believe our favorite trans boy is now a pink zombie and he’s best friends with the best big cat, who is also a pink zombie,