to some extent it was such a breaking point in their relationship

Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

A Life Less Ordinary by Jebiwonkenobi

It takes a few years but eventually they manage to agree on something; Derek Hale is an asshole, and Stiles Stilinski is in love with him.


Burn by night by thebrotherswinchester

Sheriff Stilinski has been kidnapped by Alpha werewolves. As bait. For his own son.


Cupboard Love by mklutz

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.


Daddy’s Do’s by apocryphal

“Hi Mr. Stilinski!” Lydia said pertly. “My name’s Lydia, and this is my daddy. His name is Derek Andrew Hale and he watches all of your videos on YouTube a lot, but he still can’t braid.”

[Stiles is a celebrity YouTube hairstylist. Derek may or may not have a crush. Lydia just wants a French braid for school picture day.]


Everything’s Better Under the Sea by tryslora

Everything changes when Derek goes under while surfing, hits his head on a board, and sees a man with a tail swimming away. He wants to know who that was, and what it has to do with Beacon Hills, the one place he never meant to come back to.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm very conflicted about the bedroom scene,,,it was very sad for me? Lance looked so sad and disappointed and vulnerable but Keith just said "focus on your missions" because when Lance came in, he said it was bc Keith was the new leader. It was very angsty and heartbreaking to see,,,,im very conflicted about it. I hope Keith soon addresses Lance's strengths and what he admires about him bc,,,,,

THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG AND I STARTED TALKING ABOUT KEITH AND LANCE AS CHARACTERS AND I’M REALLY FUCKING SORRY OH MY GODJFDGYDSFS i get what you’re saying and i have to agree with you so i’m going to analyze some shiz… this scene has definitely opened up the opportunity for keith to actually, properly, reassure lance about his part on the team in a future episode. their development has been gradual throughout the show and this is no different… it’s one step towards something greater. we can’t expect them to instantly have all their shit perfect, you know? it’s, along with the entirety of season 3, changed the dynamic of their relationship. mutual respect, mutual trust, mutual support. they are finally really opening up to each other. 

this whole season, we see lance support and comfort keith A LOT and he does it very well… because that’s the kind of guy he is. he’s an uncle and a good friend. he has a big family, in complete contrast to what keith has. lance has lots of experience with people in general and just… having their backs, comforting and supporting them. lance loves people, he loves interacting with them and he is very good at it. family and friends are obviously extremely important to lance. the team is extremely important to lance.

lance is caring and he can read people/situations well, most of the time. i say most of the time because he never picked up on pidge being a girl even though everyone else did. he’s social and charismatic. he lifts people up, he is there for people, he makes people feel at home, in his own way… he lightens the mood with jokes and tries to diffuse the tension with jokes/changing the subject. or just by being… him. just by being lance he can turn the mood around. he can bring out the best in people and he can probably bring out the worst in them, too… i think he just brings out the most in people. this really applies to how keith is with him. lance can bring out a lot of different sides of keith, we’ve all seen that. he fires keith up, but makes him go soft and tender, too. keith is usually very stoic and closed off but lance breaks down his walls so much and it’s really great.

lance grounds people, he can cheer them up just by being who he is, just by being there. he is a constant. team voltron tends to playfully tease him or act annoyed with the things he says sometimes, but i know they are extremely fond of him. i wish they wouldn’t tease him as much as they do because i do think it gets to lance sometimes… but the problem with that is that he has never voiced his insecurities to them before… so they don’t even know that their teasing is possibly having negative effects on him, they don’t know that they’re actually hitting a sore spot. they’re friends and friends tease each other so it’s hard to like, be pissed at them because i can guarantee if lance actually voiced his insecurities to everyone… they would stop with the teasing, or at least, not tease him about stuff that would be harmful to him. i think one of the reasons why lance doesn’t voice his insecurities to everyone is because he doesn’t want them to worry, he just wants everyone to be happy and have fun… he doesn’t want to add onto all the other shit they’re dealing with.

lance uses a rifle, he’s the sharpshooter and he now uses a sniper, too… his role is one that offers support for his teammates and in a way, let’s them use the fullest of their abilities because with someone watching their backs… they don’t have to worry about someone getting the jump on them. they trust in their sniper. they trust in lance. a sniper covers their teammates and allows them to go all out. allows them to focus on what’s in front of them. lance has always excelled in ranged fighting and analyzing the situation/his surroundings and coming up with a plan that will work best for everyone. lance is an expert at supporting people, in battle and every other way.

but keith… keith is, like he even admitted himself, a loner. social interaction is not keith’s strong suit, never has been and that hasn’t changed. he is a lone wolf by nature, through and through. this is slowly changing and he is slowly opening up as he grows to view team voltron as his friends/family… but at this point, it is still there and a part of him. it most likely always will be, to some extent. keith has no family besides shiro and we know shiro is the only one who never gave up on keith… we don’t know much about his past but it is very safe to assume that keith has… never even really had a friend before voltron. he has had nowhere near as much experience interacting with people like lance has. he is very distant and closed off from the team compared to everyone else. most times when keith does seem to open up to the others, it’s during a mission or because the other person talked to him first. he does not tend to seek people out on his own because he is, after all, a loner. keith is not even that good at talking about his own feelings, he has a hard time even being in control of them sometimes… as we’ve seen when he blows up on pidge in season 1 and when he blows up on everyone in season 3. though, keith does actually admit his faults to lance this season… that is a big step for keith. that is a big step for their relationship.

keith has a hard time understanding things people say/do sometimes and he isn’t good at picking up on references or anything. lance is always a part of these scenes. the first time this happens is the “i say vol, you say tron…” scene in season 1. keith tries to play along but he doesn’t understand and lance is patient with him and tries to help him out. it doesn’t work so lance just tells him they’ll work on it. also in season 1, we have the laser guns scene. keith directly asks lance “what was that?” and lance tells him. in season 2, this progressed into lance explaining to keith, on his own, about the “hunter becomes the hunted” thing… that then progressed to when we got hunk and pidge talking technobabble and whatnot in season 3. keith instantly looks to lance for an explanation but this time, lance has no idea either. i just really like this progression shfsyfsg i think it’s important when analyzing their relationship. anyways, keith just isn’t… a social butterfly like lance and he has no fucking idea what he’s doing in regards to interacting with people most of the time.

keith uses a sword, a very quick and to the point weapon. very in your face. keith is a warrior, always on the front lines. brute force, pure instinct and skill. not thinking before acting, sometimes not even thinking about the team, as we saw on full display at the beginning of season 3. keith just goes for it, full swing. a sword does not offer support, it can be used in supportive ways, but that is not it’s purpose. it’s purpose is to go in and kill. keith is not an expert on supporting people, in battle or in any other way.

i think we have to remember all of this about keith and lance when analyzing the keith’s room scene? because yes, lance was obviously looking for a better answer than what keith gave him… he wanted to hear that he was important to the team and that he contributed. that he’s a great paladin and he doesn’t need to worry about his place on the team. but like i said, keith isn’t… good at this… he’s been better at it at times, he’s made progress… like with hunk in “the belly of a weblum” when he calmed him down and near the end of the episode when he was complimenting him but… i don’t think we can expect keith to instantly be a pro at this stuff at all times, especially because this is lance. it’s possible that keith was very confused because lance always seems so confident to him… that’s what lance lets people see, until now. this is the first time lance has come to any of his teammates about these insecurities. the way keith says “what are you talking about?” supports this… he sounds genuinely confused as to why lance would even think this about himself… and it also supports keith, in his head, probably being like wtf dude you are so important and skilled and you are my impulse control and my friend… BUT KEITH DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAY ALL THAT BECAUSE HE ISN’T! GOOD! AT! THIS! keith tries to reassure him, he’s just trying to tell him not to worry because he doesn’t NEED to worry because keith knows he’s IMPORTANT… but the way he says it comes off like he’s just brushing lance’s concerns away and telling him to forget about it and focus on his missions… but i don’t think he is? we’ve seen how keith has grown to care for lance, so i know he’s trying to help him, he just really doesn’t know how. it has been a point in the show to show us keith’s poor social skills due to him being an orphan and a loner. 

lance still looks sad when he’s leaving keith’s room because that’s not what he wanted to hear but this next scene is what really made this whole interaction more special and important, for both of them…

when keith says “and lance, leave the math to pidge” it is obviously him trying, in his own way, to at least cheer lance up a little bit. he did not have to call to lance, he could have just let him exit his room and that’s that… but he didn’t and that’s important. not to mention, this whole scene was just very trope-y lmfaosjdfb… this is keith teasing lance, trying to joke with him and lift his spirits even just a little bit… keith probably tried more of joke-y approach because their whole relationship has been full of lots of teasing… he took something from their conversation they just had and tried to make lance smile. like i said, keith isn’t good at this stuff so i think he’s relying on their past interactions to guide him. he is not literally calling lance dumb or useless or anything by saying “leave the math to pidge”… math is one of pidge’s strong suits, they both know this. everyone knows this. when keith said this, as well as keith teasing lance to cheer him up, i read it more as him meaning something like “leave the math to pidge because you have your own strong suits and don’t need to worry about that or your place on the team.” keith is bad with words and he is also a man of few words, in the first place. 

in this same episode, very soon after this scene takes place actually… they need to take the lions out, but just like lance said… there are six paladins now that “shiro” is back and only five lions… but keith now knows that lance believes he’s the one who will end up with no lion. before anyone else even has a chance to say anything in regards to there being more paladins than lions, keith voluntarily gives up the black lion to “shiro” and decides to stay at the castle so lance will not have to give up red. i don’t think keith did this simply because he didn’t want to lead anymore now that “shiro” is back, because he could have easily still said he wanted to take the red lion while “shiro” takes black… but he didn’t, he left red to lance. like, the fact that these two scenes took place so close together is most likely so people could make this connection, i think. it just… doesn’t feel like a coincidence that keith told lance “things will work themselves out” and then proceeded to offer being the one to stay back so lance didn’t have to leave red. of course, black ends up not letting “shiro” in because he’s a fucking fake ass bitch, so this didn’t even end up mattering but like… it’s still important and i think people should at least think about the connection to those scenes. EDIT: this totally mattered because lance was actually aware that keith did this. i just fucking forgot about that entire line like an idiot.

EDIT: please also read these posts i’m about to link. this anon... and this where i talk more about lance’s insecurities and why we see team voltron teasing him so much.

keith knows how talented lance is (and if he didn’t already know somehow, he definitely does now because later in this episode, lance literally saves keith’s life by shooting a blade out of MID FUCKING AIR… that shit is HARD… keith even STOPS mid battle to SMILE SOFTLY at lance and admire him and his skills… acxa is able to run right past him and he almost gets blindsided by ezor because of this… this boy is fucking whipped). keith has experienced for himself in episode 6 of season 1 that lance is very good at coming up with plans when he, himself, would rather rush right in. i think he really admires that in lance because he can’t do that. he is not the plan guy, lance is. keith is all instincts and pure skill. keith has come to know how skilled lance is and he has come to know lance. not fully, of course not, but lance is no longer a nameless face, he is no longer a “who are you?” to keith… lance is the closest person to keith after shiro. he is keith’s newfound impulse control which was shown many times this season. they are friends. lance is the first person that was able to make keith smile this season, when he was extremely upset and angry about losing shiro and the whole leading voltron thing… but lance makes him smile. he makes him smile with one single line, “i’m not the goofball! i’m like the cool ninja sharpshooter.” like i said, keith knows how skilled lance is. i’m sure keith has seen these skills in action over the course of the show… they are a team, it’d be impossible for him not to know that lance actually is an extremely skilled sharpshooter. 

when keith scoffs and says “are you joking?” (accompanied by The Soft Look) i don’t think he’s saying it to be like, “really? you’re not the sharpshooter, funny joke” because keith knows that he is… i think it’s more like keith thinking “but you ARE a goofball, too” because lance is. lance is a goofball and keith probably likes that about him judging from the look on his face… like, lance isn’t JUST the goofball, of course, but he still is a goofball. if you only listen to what keith said and don’t look at his facial expression and don’t think about the progression of their relationship over the course of the show, it’d be easy to think he’s being a dick or something… but combining it with his expression and everything else we know about their relationship, it changes it. teasing like this has always been shown to be part of their relationship. for example, when keith teased lance back in episode 6 of season 1 when he got his lion back for him… along with the many times lance has teased keith. it also really wouldn’t make sense for keith to actually be trying to start shit with lance after lance had just comforted keith in the episode prior. 

[EDITED AFTER FURTHER THOUGHT INTO LANCE’S CHARACTER AND THIS SCENE] after keith says that, i definitely think lance takes it the wrong way and it hits a sore spot (this ties in with his insecurities) so he gets all defensive and says, “i’m being completely serious when i say, i do not want you to lead me anywhere.” (even though this drastically changes later on) and then keith loses his fond look because now lance has hit keith’s sore spot and antagonized him, so he says, “i don’t want to be the leader! that’s just what shiro wanted!” and then realizes he just told them all that and looks upset. i don’t think he even meant to blurt that out, but lance riles him up… lance cracks him open. lance looks very upset, as well, after keith says this… i think lance is concerned for him in a way, because of him losing shiro, but i definitely also think… at that moment, he’s upset because he wanted to pilot the black lion since he goes on to say, “well, i never heard shiro say that, and how convenient that you’re bringing it up now that shiro is gone.” lance is being like this because keith had just unintentionally hit one of lance’s sore spots. this whole exchange gets heated because of lance’s insecurities… because keith unintentionally hurt lance while he was just trying to tease him. so, lance fluffed up his bravado and fired back with venom. lance was just soft and supportive with keith the episode prior, he’s not doing this to be a dick… he thinks keith was being a dick to him. it’s a mess, really. keith tells him, “you want the job so badly, you can have it!” and they just glare at each other.

lance didn’t even want to pilot the black lion for glory or anything, he wanted to pilot it to validate himself to the team and also… himself. his insecurities are quickly increasing. at this point, lance hadn’t even really noticed keith’s insecurities and doubts about being the leader… we see that as soon as black chooses keith and keith expresses that he doesn’t accept it, that he can’t replace shiro, that they were right, he is the loner… not the leader shiro thought he was… lance is instantly backing him up, despite being clearly affected by not being chosen by black. this was a big turning point in their relationship and for lance as a character. he matured a big amount this season. from this point on, lance always has keith’s back. he literally becomes keith’s impulse control and is able to knock some sense into him. pull him back from the edge of nearly pulling the whole team apart, from doing reckless and dumb things. only lance can fit this role with keith as leader. they are equals in this situation but honestly? i don’t think lance realizes that, considering he thinks he should step down as a paladin. considering all his self worth issues. he is literally keith’s right hand man… and the reason this works so well, the reason they are equals in this situation… is because without lance, keith would not succeed as a leader whatsoever. definitely not with how he is right now. lance doesn’t even know this though. his insecurities are about to reach a boiling point, i think… and i feel like keith is definitely going to play a supportive role for lance once he actually knows about lance’s insecurities. once lance actually, properly talks to him about them.

ANYWAYS, back the “leave the math to pidge” scene. this scene is purposefully framed in a way so we can see how lance is starting to view keith… because we are literally viewing keith through lance’s eyes. that is how the shot is set up. i didn’t realize it at first honestly, but when i watched this scene, i couldn’t shake the feeling that it was so… different and special somehow… i just couldn’t figure out why, until i read this post and it all hit me full force and honestly made me tear up. i’ll reference some things that were said but i highly recommend you read that whole post when you finish this. 

we know lance started off as viewing keith as his rival but over the course of the show, that has been changing… and this scene changes it even more, so much more… in a very big way. keith, in the first place, is usually very closed off… we all know that he crosses his arms in front of his chest a lot, people commonly do this to put up a sort of wall between them and the people around them. i actually do this when i’m in a new situation with new people and i am uncomfortable. it’s not that hard to believe that keith would do this too, considering his loner nature. he also seems to be glaring most of the time, even in the background of scenes… the shot of keith when lance is looking back at him is… very open. keith is not coming off the way we have gotten used to him being, which could be classified as very standoffish. keith is not coming off the way lance is used to seeing him. he is seeing him in a completely new and different way.

previously in this scene, while lance is voicing his concerns and his insecurities, keith has his arms crossed in front of him. there is still a barrier. 

but then we got this shot: 

whether it’s subconsciously or consciously, keith is trying to appear more friendly and welcoming towards lance. this goes along perfectly with him teasing lance, he’s trying to cheer him up and this heightens the effect. makes lance feel safe, let’s him know keith is being genuine. he is completely open and his expression is so soft. everything about this shot is so fucking soft. he doesn’t even have his jacket on… they made sure to show him hanging it up before lance entered the room and i think they showed us that because they really wanted to get across the change in keith and lance’s relationship in this shot. keith is not seen without his jacket that often and i just… refuse to believe him taking it off didn’t serve a purpose for this scene, specifically. they are both allowing themselves to be vulnerable around the other. lance voicing his insecurities to keith, out of all people (yes because he’s the leader now, but “shiro” was back at this point, lance easily could have gone to him since he literally talked about shiro going back to the black lion…), lance finally somewhat voicing his insecurities to a teammate and it happens to be keith? that’s important. and keith just… everything about keith in this fucking scene is so unlike how keith normally appears. normally, the less clothes someone has on, the more vulnerable people feel… they feel exposed. keith’s whole stance is open and this shot was also literally coded as romantic… here’s an excerpt from that post i linked before.

When a character is being admired by another character, getting a shot through their eyes of their subject from the waist up, or thighs up, or knees up, etc, is a very common way of displaying that admiration in a visual sense.

this is why so many people are comparing this shot to goddamn dating sims. that’s what it reminded ME of! the way this shot is set up is so commonly used in dating sims. i haven’t played dream daddy myself, but i’ve seen a lot of people specifically compare it to that dating sim. this shot feels intimate, it is intimate. we are witnessing lance starting to view keith in a different light because like i said, and like how that post i linked emphasizes, we are seeing keith through lance’s eyes. we’re not just seeing him through lance’s POV, but directly through his eyes. keith is the center of lance’s focus and this shot? just makes keith look really beautiful? which fucks me up because that is how lance is seeing keith. we then get lance returning the same softness keith expresses towards him:

even as lance is turning away, the smile is still on his face. i do think lance is sad and disappointed that he didn’t quite get the reassurance he needed and wanted… and someone definitely still needs to explicitly tell him he is important to the team and acknowledge his strengths and skills. keith still needs to learn how to comfort him better but i’m 100% sure we’ll get that in the future. regardless of lance not receiving the support he needed to the extent he was looking for, i think he is genuinely happy in this shot. i think keith genuinely made him feel a little better. keith did cheer him up a bit and make him smile, in his own weird ass way. remembering how the shot of keith was from lance’s eyes, the way he was seeing him… it’s safe to say that lance is starting to develop romantic feelings for keith starting, or at least really taking off, from right here.

i think this whole scene was meant to show the current level their relationship has reached and open the way for it to naturally reach a new level, in the future. lance will definitely still struggle with his insecurities, they have been a constant in every season so far… they may even get worse since he didn’t get the comfort and support that was necessary… and with time, i’m sure keith will be able to reassure him better. he’ll be able to express how much he admires him, list off his strengths without a second thought… he’ll know what lance needs to hear once they become better friends. once keith gets better at working with the team, he will be able to support lance to the extent he needs. he’ll be able to support everyone. keith needs to grow and leave more of his lone wolf nature behind because that just doesn’t work when you’re part of a team like this… he needs to get better at bonding with his team, with his friends.

EDIT: talked more about this scene here, here and here. i also compare the shot of lance looking at keith to a shot from voltron: defender of the universe here. i’ve changed my views somewhat on the whole “leave the math to pidge” scene as well, here.

Jake English is the most intelligent character in Homestuck. And he hides it deliberately.

For a given value of “intelligence”, anyway. I don’t hold that much truck with the concept in general–there are different kinds of intelligence that run the gamut of human skills, and reducing that to a single concept is reductive, to say the least.

However, it’s hard to deny that there are real cultural forces in our society that do treat intelligence as a monolithic descriptor of skill and worth, and it’s a cultural idea as pervasive in reality as it is in Jake’s character arc.

For that reason alone, I’ll be using “intelligence” as a term referring to Jake’s awareness of and competence at identifying and solving problems throughout this sequence. The term as I am using it here is only relevant in the context of the themes and language Homestuck sets up. 

Intelligence, competence, and awareness are key parts of Jake’s relationship with the people around him, and particularly with the way he is dehumanized, taken for granted, and abused. 

In fact, almost every character Jake is close to in canon questions his intelligence at some point:

And this dynamic isn’t just present in the characters. It’s in the fandom as well. 
Fandom perception of Jake English often considers him comically unaware of his surroundings and reality, dense and slow or even straight up unable to pick up on ideas that come naturally to many of the other characters.

This is true across the board of opinions of his character: Some consider Jake a self-absorbed, thoughtless asshole, others still consider him a helpless victim who isn’t quite quick enough on the uptake to keep up with how he’s manipulated by others.

It’s hard for us–the fandom, I mean–to be sure of just how much Jake understood about how badly Lil Hal treated him (and by association, Dirk, in much of the fandom’s eyes). Or that Jane liked him. Among other things. It’s part of the general air of helplessness and incompetence that surrounds Pages, I guess, and air set up around Jake for quite a lot of his narrative:

(Note: This is Brain Ghost Dirk specifically questioning Jake’s intelligence.  
I hope you’ve got some good note taking pens, because this is going to be important later.)


It’s pretty much accepted that the degree and reach of Jake’s intelligence is, at the very least, a matter of debate. I am here to say that it is not. At all. And I can prove it. By allowing ourselves to doubt Jake’s intelligence, we–the fandom– have performed the equivalent of deciding Dave’s cool guy act is the real deal. 

We have fallen for Jake’s bluff. I’ll explain. 

Plenty of people are aware that Knights, as a class, tend to act out personas that reflect ideas about how they think they should act. 
For Dave, that’s the stoic Cool Guy archetype, which he eventually grows out of:

For Karkat, it’s his ideas of being a Ruthless Big Shot Leader, which he also outgrows by the end: 

And Latula has the thing about being a R4D SK4T3R G4M3G1RL!!! I don’t really think we need a quote to establish that–Dave and Karkat prove my point well enough, and this is pretty much common fandom knowledge. 

What I don’t think is common fandom knowledge is that Pages do the same thing, but for a different purpose. Pages and Knights both set up Personas that they project into the outside world. And both of them do it to control how other people perceive them. But for different reasons.

Knights do it because they want to be perceived as capable, in control, and unflappable, basically. Karkat wants everyone to rely on his executive ability as a Leader. Dave wants to be admired and validated by his friends, or. Well. Anyone. In essence, Knights want to be relied on by others. 

Pages, on the other hand, develop this fabricated identity for themselves. At this point, I should mention I’ve come to agree with Tex Talk’s view that Knights are a passive class and Pages are an active one. 

Knights use their aspect to benefit others. Pages use it to benefit themselves.

Horrus develops a strangely blank persona, so conspicuously fake it is hard to tell if he even reacts to input–so it’s easy for him to just pretend he didn’t hear it when Rufioh tells him he wants to break up–again, I don’t really feel like going through all of Openbound to get all the screencaps and I don’t think they warrant that much space on this post. 

Tavros does the same thing, enveloping himself in his games and fantasy so much that he veers away from almost any responsibility in the session, and does only what he wants to…unless Vriska is stealing that ability from him. However, even through her abuse,  Tavros manages through sheer presentation of his person to encourage the other trolls to help take care of him. 

Specifically, by giving him increased mobility–mobility and freedom of movement being concepts closely related to Breath. It’s worth mentioning Tavros is able to inspire this care not just in Kanaya, but in Equius, who looks down upon lowbloods and whose culture would have encouraged him to KILL Tavros for his weakness rather than help him. 

But because of Vriska’s exploitative and cruel influence on him, I’m not sure to what extent he really lives up to his full potential. That said, he DOES manage to completely live out his own personal fantasy, coming to embody both his childhood image of Peter Pan…

BUT ALSO being the only one of the Alternian trolls to accomplish his original childhood goal: Becoming a Cavalreaper.

Get it? He’s literally cavalry. Ha ha. Is this kind of a fucked up victory? Maybe, yeah. But it’s fitting that the character obsessed with the Peter Pan fantasy of leading a troupe of “Lost Boys” never really grows up with the goals he sets for himself. Maybe it says something about Tavros, or about the nature of Ghosts–either way, it definitely seems intentional. 

Anyway, the Ghosts are another essay for another time. Time to talk about the kid I actually want to talk about:

Jake English has a fabricated persona, too. For Horuss, it’s nothingness. For Tavros, it’s endless childhood and Peter Pan. But Jake’s persona is a contrast to Dirk’s (and Dave’s) Cool Guy persona. Personas that, for each of them, sit at the dead opposite end of the spectrum from who all three characters actually are. 

And for Jake’s constructed persona is that of the Hot-Headed Hero.

And like Horrus and Tavros, Jake indulges this fantasy version of himself even when he actively knows it makes no sense to do so, simply because it’s the fantasy about his life he wants to live out. 


But like Dave and Dirk’s presentation of themselves as cool guys unphased by anything, this persona is a complete lie.

Jake is demonstrably extremely nerdy…

He collects pointless minutiae about his favorite movies and comic books. He looks up to comic book heroines so much he wants to dress up like them. 

And also intelligent, curious, and good at evaluating the potential consequences of his actions–traits he literally willfuly holds himself back from. 


His Modus is by far the most complex of all the kids. He uses a Puzzle Modus that allows him to fit any amount of items he wants in it’s storage space…so long as he can successfully spatially fit every single object within a finite space. 

And Jake captchalogues a LOT of shit. Meaning he has to keep all of this inventory and know how to spatially navigate it to fit everything he wants at all times. And he does this casually, as a part of his daily interactions with the world around him. 

But perhaps more telling than that is how Brain Ghost Dirk describes his own creation: 

Brain Ghost Dirk implies that he is a Dirk splinter, but specifically a Dirk splinter that exists entirely through the ideas Jake has about Dirk. 

In other words, Jake knows and understands Dirk so well that he can pretty much perfectly remember his body, movements and mannerisms on command. Again, not even actively, it’s just kind of how Jake English rolls-thinking about Dirk all the time is the status quo. 

And Brain Ghost Dirk claims to be Jake’s literal brain, talking back to him.

Which means when Brain Ghost Dirk calls Jake out on something, he is forcibly communicating important information to Jake that Jake is actively choosing to ignore. It’s Jake talking to himself, not Dirk giving Jake information he doesn’t have by talking to him through Brain Ghost Dirk.

We have reason to believe the Ghost about this, since Dirk never expresses having any awareness of Brain Ghost Dirk’s existence. 

So what important information does Jake willingly ignore? Well, earlier we saw him justify beating up a random alien girl even though a part of his brain knew she wasn’t actually Sea Hitler, and he kind of just wanted to play the part. But surely we can do better than that. How about everything about his friends’ feelings about him that makes him uncomfortable?

Callmearcturus wrote this brilliant thesis outlining why she thinks Jake deliberately manipulated Jane into failing to confess to him
, but I’m gonna run over it real quick to ground it in this context and sell you on the idea that this is, in fact, not a theory and explicit canon.

Because we don’t need to guess at this by reverse-engineering Jake’s well-established feelings for Dirk. Roxy literally tells him Jane has these feelings before Jane herself does:

Jake recognizes what Roxy is saying, and guesses what she was alluding to on her own. Roxy doesn’t deny it by any measure, and when she asks Jake to drop the issue, Jake says he understands the dilemma this puts her in with Jane. 

To stress: He received this information in confidence and knows it for a fact. And he trusts the information he receives so much that he then ACTS on it. After talking to Roxy, Jake messages Jane himself, OPENING by mentioning Roxy told him Jane was going to be contacting him.

And then he himself broaches the subject of their romantic feelings for each other:

But when Jane outright asks him if he has something he wants to say to her, Jake expertly dodges the question, keeping his options open while putting the onus of taking the first step and revealing her feelings on Jane again. 

And then, once he’s got her trying to answer…

He KEEPS asking her, interrupting her several times while she starts to try sorting out her thoughts. He puts Jane under a LOT of pressure here, which…considering Jake literally KNOWS the answer, is a pretty shitty thing to do! Even if Roxy hadn’t LITERALLY TOLD HIM mere minutes ago, Jane’s reactions here would have confirmed Jake’s suspicions beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt. 

Unless, of course, one has a reputation for not thinking things through or being aware of their surroundings. 

Once Jake has his answer, he doubles back, making sure to ask her AGAIN while she’s off balance….

And he then shuts her down when she tries to take the initiative on taking it back and being honest, quickly following up by IMMEDIATELY letting her know he’s relieved about this–signaling his disinterest BEFORE she has a chance to reveal she actually does have a stake in the matter.

He then uses his goofy, unaware, trusting persona to set up a status quo where Jane continually helps him by acting as a sounding board for all his thoughts about Dirk–essentially, putting Jane inside a gender-flipped version of the laughable stereotype of The Friend Zone.

But wait a minute. Jane is one thing. But if Jake is actually this smart, aware, and capable–then it kind of has ramifications across all of his character interactions. What else changes if we read Jake this way? I know I said my next post would be on Roxy, but, uh…yeah. This one kind of got away from me. 

In our next entry, we’re going to talk about Why Jake does what he does, and Why he seems so genuinely confused about it later into his narrative. We’re also going to look at some of the other consequences his Jake’s approach to his friendships has for his friends. 

We’ll also make a case for Why exactly Jake ultimately falls in love with Dirk Strider, how and when Jake demonstrates and acts on that love, and if I can manage to squeeze it in–maybe even uncover the way the Heart aspects’ two different themes of  Souls and Romance/Shipping are conceptually connected.

And on that note, it’s worth pointing out that there’s one notable exception to the list of people fooled by Jake’s presented persona. One character who not only never talks Jake’s intelligence down…

But instead talks Jake’s intelligence UP when he talks badly about himself. 

Dirk Strider.

See you again soon, everyone. 

Until then, Keep Rising. 

Skulls and Roses 💀 🥀 (Part 3)

Jeon Jungkook 

College AU!, Tattooist AU!

The best way to get someone to like you is by calling them sasquatch and baking them cookies when you stand them up. 

PART ONE  PART TWO

Originally posted by allforcollection

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wrapped around your finger. (m)

pairing: kim namjoon | reader
genre: graduate school au / fluff, smut
warnings: sub!namjoon, begging, a cock ring, and light bondage. 
word count: 7,180
description: in which a night of grading papers about robots becomes a night where you get your payback against rival grad student, kim namjoon.  
author’s note: this is a very, very, very late christmas gift to @jungnoir but better late than never amirite? anyway, enjoy this piece! also, this is probably the dirtiest thing i’ve ever written so… just let me live…. rip.

cr.


For many graduate-level students, there is only one day that truly means the world to them. It’s a day where they’ll be chosen to either teach a classroom or assist said person. In your university, pairs are created for these courses. Many of which are targeted toward impressionable first years but anyone’s welcome to partake in the experimental class. The department of any major -in this case, Philosophy- hears back on your progress at the end of the term, then from there even biggers decisions are made. The research component of any subject is easy, but being able to convey it to a large crowd is what the department heads look for. In all essence, it will make or break you as an aspiring teacher.

Your anticipation only proliferates as the red marks shrink the previous days to the forthcoming circle for the upcoming Winter quarter. And today is finally that day.

With a buzzing all-time high, you find yourself among the select eight in your graduate program. Many of whom are just as excited as you are, even Namjoon but you opt to ignore the silver-haired man just to keep your own buzz going. With some luck you won’t have to deal with him anymore. Hell, maybe you’ll even have Hani as a partner. Or Minhyuk.

Soon enough, Professor Lim enters, and everyone immediately sits straight and leans forward.

The salt and pepper-haired man laughs, “It’s good to see everyone looking so alive today.” Meeting each and every one of your wide eyes as he takes a seat at the head of the crudely formed circle of chairs by Namjoon, he asks, “Is everyone ready to hear the pairs for this year’s Introductory Philosophy class?”

There are nods and murmurs in response. Of course, they’re ready. They’ve been preparing for this since the start of the program.

His eyes twinkle beneath the mediocre fluorescent lighting before he gives a nod, “Alright, well, let’s get down to it then, yeah?” He receives a chorus of affirmations, earning another hearty laugh of his, “The following pairs shall be Namjoon and Y/N…” But the moment he says yours and Namjoon’s name, you can’t seem to register anything else.

Fuck… Out of everyone in the room, it had to be him.

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“Draw me like one of your French...boy ?” - Jason Todd x Reader

I’ll never get tired of writing thing with Jason (the best Robin FIGHT ME ON THAT !). Hope you guys will like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

-Can you flex your back muscles please ? 

How could you just ask questions like that without even flinching ? Or blushing at least ? Err. Those were stupid questions, and the answer was very simple : you didn’t like him that way. For you, he was just a friend. Just a friend who accepted to get down in his underwear for you, so that you could practice anatomy. Totally normal. That’s what friends were for. Helping. 

-Great, thanks Jason. That’s great. Wait, turn just to your left a bit…yeah, perfect, thanks. Oh, do you want a blanket or something ? 

-No. No thanks. I’m fine. Just a…little swift of cold wind that’s all.

“Just a little swift of cold wind”. Yeah. Right. Your hand brushing his bicep when you angled his body like you wanted, that’s what made him shiver. But hell was he glad you thought it was because he was cold. 

You were just his friend. His extremely talented friend. His extremely talented friend he was in love with. Oh bugger, he was in for a treat…

It was very rare, that Jason found himself speechless. Or that he was afraid to ask a girl out. After all, like his father, Bruce Wayne, he was quite the ladies’ man.

He never found it hard to ask for someone’s number, or if they wanted to go get dinner with them. But with you ? Well, with you, it was different. And he didn’t really know why…Maybe because he was genuinely in love ? Because this time, if you said “no” to his date proposition, he had everything to loose ? 

You entered his life quite randomly. He was running in one of Gotham’s park and as he ran around it multiple times, his eyes couldn’t help but notice you, sitting in the grass with a sketchbook and a pencil…Especially because you kept staring at him when he was going by. 

Curiosity got the better of him, and after a seventeenth tour of the park, he stopped to stretch…right in front of you. And you kept staring, making him uncomfortable. He was never uncomfortable ! On the contrary, he liked when girls looked at him. He liked it a lot. But you…God he felt uneasy. 

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anonymous asked:

What's your opinion on this robot harry?For me it's so annoying he can't even pretend to be excited for his own tour, his social media presence is such a turn off

Well I’m sort of digging myself a grave with this one, but since I haven’t seen a post I can fully agree with, here we go. Disclaimer, I actually study this at uni. I was the Social Media Manager for the planning and putting together of a fashion show, on all platforms. I just handed in last month a 6-months marketing plan that was based around social media promo. So I do have a bit of knowledge in this area. I am by no means an expert, but this is my future field of choice, so I like to think I’m at least educated.

The situation isn’t as black and white as people have put it so far. All I’ve seen is “he’s horrible at engaging with fans” and “he doesn’t own you shit so stop complaining”. The answer is a very big grey area in which Harry’s actual social media presence fits perfectly in my opinion. First of all, there’s two main templates we studied for marketing purposes this year, Gaynor Lea Greenwood’s promotion suggestions (2009) and Burcher (2013)’s Paid, Owned and Earned media concept. Long story short, the first one is your traditional marketing campaign and the second one relies more on social media and advertising on it. Now, I think Harry’s team went for the more traditional approach, and let me explain why.

Harry started distancing himself more and more from twitter and Instagram ever since the hiatus started.Even before, during OTRA and MITAM promo, most of his tweets were promo stuff, lyrics I’m not sure we fully understand even now, charity work, promoting friends or tweeting about holidays/important days or events. His fan interaction has been low for quite a while, and I’m honestly baffled people are acting like this is news. Looking through his Twitter in 2015, there are some tweets to fans, yes, but they’re very sparse.I counted about 12 in 5 months, most of them in September, when Perfect came out, and around the release of MITAM.His tweets were mostly thanks to fans for various awards and nominalisation, promoting the songs/album, some lyrics and, without fail, after every concert he tweeted a thank you for coming.

It felt more personal than what we have now (tho in all honesty, his tour hasn’t started yet and if we eliminate the OTRA tweets it’s already a different story), but Robot Harry has been a thing then, and people were riding along with it instead of condemning it to the extent they do now.But, the thing is, Harry didn’t have the entire burden of engaging with the fanbase like he has now.Louis, Niall and Liam always took turns in taking the lead in replying to fans and interacting with them, which allowed Harry to do his part and everyone was mostly happy.

And yet, I personally don’t feel this frustration many people feel. I think it’s quite interesting actually. A bold move that wouldn’t work for other artist whose career relies on people who live and breathe social media (maybe Beyonce or Adele, but they are in another league). I was very intrigued by Harry’s statement in the Behind the album video, in which he said that there was a time in his life when people knew everything about him, and he didn’t like it.He has been overexposed since 2012, his personal life splashed across tabloids, fake relationship or not.And now he disappeared for a year (and has been retreating into himself for at least 2) and he wrote this mysterious™ album, trying to see if people can listen and understand it without knowing much about the current him. In this context, having an album that surrounds itself in mystery and then doing 4 Q&As on twitter and 3 livestreams sends…extremely contradictory messages. I can, and will fault his team for presenting a dual image of Harry that sometimes makes 0 sense, for handling a lot of things so poorly, and for the entire Carolina mess, but I will say that his social media fits this old school mysterious rockstar image they’re showing of him. I also think his actual reason is very personal and very real, and I respect the fact that he didn’t compromise this choice he made for promo purposes.

His promo relied on more traditional channels. TV and radio appearances, print magazines, and most importantly, the secret gigs. Now, I’m sorry, but I felt entirely more connected to Harry running across London at 8AM in my pyjamas than by any twitter spree he’ll ever do. I never did this before. This reminded me of the stories my dad told me, of queuing up for days in front of the box office so he’d get the tickets when they went on sale. It was very old school and it worked for me. It was a phenomenal experience, something I will never forget. And he did this for us. All profits went to charity, he didn’t do this for money. And while I know this was for a few selected cities and a handful of lucky fans, it was intimate and it was special and I think everyone, regardless if they were there, or vicariously living through pics and videos, felt a connection to Harry. We got emotional on his behalf when he sang with his idol on stage 2 weeks later, you don’t do that for someone you have no connection to.

Now, the actual reason I’m happy with what we’ve got is that it is genuine from my POV. Liam is the perfect candidate for a comparison, since he also took a bit of a break from social media (not as heavy as Harry’s, but he definitely wasn’t as active as Louis or Niall) and his promo is as textbook as it gets. He slowly, but surely increased his activity since January, a few more tweets, a few more pics on Instagram.A big turning point was April when he posted 13 pics on Instagram, compared to 8 in March, 4 in February and 3 in January. His Twitter went through a similar process.Now, the moment he started posting more, I knew his music was gonna be out soon. It’s pure marketing. You start your campaign weeks before the actual launch, it’s only natural. Unless you want to drop it as a surprise, but that’s another discussion. Actually Harry did it too, with the TV ad, but that was ruined by the info getting leaked beforehand and everyone getting pissed off by that so whatevs. Now, Liam is going for the approachable celeb route. Streams, Instagram stories, snapchat, tweeting fans, loads of pics, videos with popular Youtubers. It’s nice and about as well handled as it gets (apart from that weird video release earlier than it should have been and Liam just generally being a bit…odd?off?idk how to explain it, but a lot of people feel the same way from what I’ve seen). It fits with the image Liam is going for, it aims at the right target audience. He’s not trying to enter a new market like Harry is. He’s consolidating his place in the current market from what I’ve seen (and I’ll admit I haven’t followed his promo as closely as Harry’s). Trying to imagine Harry doing this sort of promo doesn’t really work for me.

Niall has been present on and off social media ever since he came back from his trip last year. Literally, if I pull up the calendars people have been making each month, he doesn’t get more than a handful of days without doing something, so it’s unfair to compare him to the others, since he’s always around and posting and doing stuff.

Louis deserves a better team and I won’t have anyone uttering anything else in my presence, and yet somehow, despite Niall’s constant presence and Liam’s textbook engagement, I’ll never feel as connected to them as I feel to Louis. Louis’ tweets are the perfect mixture of absolutely adorable fan service (“our year” 😭😭) and some of the things he’s passionate about (tv shows, fashion, footie/sports). His promo for JHO was….I have no words for it and I’m gonna have a rage fit if I start thinking about it, but his overall persona is charming and endearing when he’s posting things himself. He created a real communication channel between us and him and he knows how to use it when he needs to send a message (warning selfies anyone?Only you?). There’s an actual analysis of Instagram stats that shows he’s the number 1 male account in engagement and overall likes and that doesn’t surprise me one bit. Louis is a smart businessman, he has a loyal fanbase who is here for him through thick and thin.

And on top of everything I said so far, none of them owe us anything outside the promo bubble. Apart from shoots, songs/albums/tours info and official announcements, they do not owe us anything. If they chose to share a picture from their home, that’s their personal space, and while it’s good for PR, amazingly good in a society that thrives from the feeling of knowing everything about everyone (like what’s your fave’s breakfast and how’s their cat is doing), it’s still a part they can choose to keep private and no one should be entitled to ask for more.

Have you seen Adele’s Instagram? It gives you this illusion of closeness to her, with make up free selfies, funny poses and landscape shots. Too bad literally everything is from touring and other official appearances right? There’s one picture of her home, and that’s to celebrate the end of the tour. Harry sort of did the same with the booklet pictures. He allowed you into his personal space in a controlled manner, just like Adele did. Only he did it in a different way. His promo is just different and you have to think a bit outside the box to see that he actually did a lot of things other artists do. Just a bit differently. Was it perfect?Fuck, no. Was it as bad as many people make it look like?Personally, I don’t think so. It was just different and people are entirely justified to see it as a good or a bad thing. I see it mostly as a good thing. Mostly.

anonymous asked:

Top 5 Haikyuu otp fights???

Why are you doing this to me (ಥ﹏ಥ)

1. Hinata and Kageyama. In which we all were Yachi Hitoka. One of the things that always comes to mind when I think about this fight is her eyes full of tears seeing Hinata talking about Kageyama, calling him his partner despite having just been through the ultimate breaking point in their relationship. It was hard and heartbreaking but still it’s my favorite fight of all, because it finally made them (and all the team with them) realize the extent of their relationship and how much they need each other to play, to be happy, and to grow.

Originally posted by lauleemc

2. Asahi and Nishinoya. Angst is the way to my heart and their fight made episode 9 my overall favorite of the first season. We never saw any of them as furious as they were during this fight, and the most heartbreaking thing is that they both thought they failed the other and their entire team, that they were not good enough. And none of them can stand it. We know this affected Asahi way more than Noya, but, even if it seems the exacts opposite, this fight showed how unbreakable their bond is, how loyal they are to the other, so much that Noya decided to never win a match without him. Ever. He’d give up his talent and his future because of him. And every time I think about it I die

3. Oikawa and Iwaizumi. A fight that changed Oikawa’s way of thinking forever and showed us that sometimes Iwa truly has to use the hard ways to make that obsessive mind that’s Oikawa Tooru understand an easy but still life chancing concept that’s “the team with the better six is stronger”. The aftermath of this brief fight is amazing, with Oikawa saying: “I suddenly feel invincible” and Iwa being all concern of having hit him too strong. This is…the most iwaoi thing they have ever done. 

Originally posted by kagurane

4. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. When they fight I’m ALWAYS rooting for Yams like hell. You tell him boy! You know it’s not my top, but still no one gets a grip of Tsukki like Yamaguchi does, especially from season 2 on. I love how, even if he respects him a lot, he’s not afraid to take him by the shirt and yell in his face the always iconic “What else do we need besides pride?”, hitting like a hammer in Tsukishima’s already cracked wall. This fight made all Tsukki’s limits crumble, it lit the flame inside him, it brushed all the pain his brother cause him in the past, but mostly it showed us how very very cool Yamaguchi really is. A+

Originally posted by fabelyn

5. Yahaba abd Kyoutani. This is more of a confrontation that a fight but still (I have realized that there aren’t so many fights ??? HOW ???). This is a softer version of the iwaoi fight, in which Yahaba only needed a slam against a wall and some cutting words to make Kyoutani understand what means to be a true part of the team. Yes, this is Yahaba letting out his “future captain” side, but you know, it’s the first fight that creates the bond…and I sense that these two will have a lot to entertain us with next year…

Originally posted by yoonbums

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Ask me my top 5 things!

A Pair of Arms Means Love, Seven Means Home - Everyone/Everyone

Pairing: Poly-Relationship Between All the Losers

Word Count: 2515

Request: It wasn’t one. This one goes out to my Familosers. I love you guys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It starts with Bill and Eddie.

One day they’re pals, sophomores in highschool, pushing each other into the quarry, and cracking jokes together in between class with the rest of the Losers. Then suddenly the next day they’re holding hands, trading kisses between classes when they get the chance, still cracking jokes with the other Losers. No one actually brings it up. It’s a progression of something that really, to everyone, seems like a long time coming. So there isn’t anything for the others to question.

Even Richie, who feels a spark of something (hurt, jealousy, desire) doesn’t say anything about it. Not even when his hands want to shake at seeing the two boys together.

It seems natural that he’s the first one to be added to Bill and Eddie’s thing. (Even they hadn’t really talked about what they were to any full extent.)

They’re down at the water’s edge, Eddie in Bill’s lap, their feet in the shallows while the others swim. The others aside from Richie, who’s skulking further up the shore, leaned against a tree with a cigarette dangling from his lips. He’s been like that for the month and half that Bill and Eddie have been whatever they are and really, Eddie is done with it, has been since the first week.

He doesn’t like hurting Richie and for a while, he didn’t know how to make it better but now that it’s been nearly six weeks of his best friend moping around and pretending like he isn’t, Eddie Kaspbrak is done. He’s come up with a potential solution. Eddie twists around in Bill’s lap, feet dripping water onto the other boy’s jeans. Bill looks down while Eddie looks up.

“I’m gonna go kiss Richie,” while it’s said like a statement Bill knows that, essentially, Eddie is asking for his permission. Bill’s lips quirk into a genuine smile and he nods.

“Okay.”

Eddie is sure that if it were any other person he was in a maybe relationship with they’d break up with him in a second, but Bill isn’t like that, if he said okay, then he meant okay. Eddie nods and extracted himself from Bill’s lap, suddenly the picture of five foot four determination as he strode over to the boy. Bill watches, getting to his own feet and strolling over at a slower pace, as Eddie knocks the cigarette from Richie’s mouth and grabs the collar of his shirt in two tight fists. Richie had looked both pissed and scared that he was going to get decked for no reason.

He wasn’t expecting for Eddie to yank him down into a kiss. It doesn’t last too long, mostly because by the time Richie realizes what’s going on and that he is, in fact, kissing Eddie back he realizes he’s kissing Eddie back. Eddie, who is, from what everyone has gathered, going steady with Bill. Richie yanks himself harshly from Eddie’s hold, eyes snapping to Bill who was finally standing beside the shorter boy. Richie opens his mouth to apologize, because wow he does not want to lose Bill as a friend because Eddie had apparently lost his marbles, only to be promptly stopped when Bill leans forward and places his own, softer kiss, on Richie’s mouth, and oh, Richie thinks that he understands now.

This too comes as no real surprise to the others so it also goes unmentioned when Bill and Eddie become Bill, Eddie, and Richie.

Eddie is worried they’ll have to make rules and talk about things now and then it might all be awkward but is pleasantly surprised when Richie simply steps into the little crevices in his and Bill’s relationship he hadn’t even noticed before.

A month goes by and then Stan is next to be brought into the fold.

It’s not until Bill is tucked between Eddie and Richie on his too small bed does he bring up something that’s been on his mind for the last week or so. Eddie had made it seem so easy when he’d looked up at Bill with his big brown doe eyes and stated that he was going to kiss Richie.

The room is draped in comfortable, post make-out silence, with Eddie’s head under Bill’s chin and Richie’s arms throw over the both of them, he being the tallest of the three. Bill breaks the calm with a stuttering confession.

“S…sometimes I th-think ab-bout kis…sing S-Stan.” Bill’s waiting for things to get awkward after the whisper is past his slightly puffy lips. It doesn’t come. All Eddie does is hum something close to an agreement into his chest and snuggle in deeper, Richie’s breath tickles Bill’s ear when his says “that’s hot,” and pulls both of the boys closer to him. Bill is so frightening revealed that both boys know him so well, that they know it’s not because he doesn’t /want/ them in any way, or that he wants something new. They both know that Bill just has too much of his heart to give (and that sometimes he can get lonely at night when Richie and Eddie, who live close together, can spend them together.)

It’s also the fact that Eddie finds Stan attractive in the way that he’s meticulous and organized, he likes the way his shirts are always crisp and seem to fit perfectly. Eddie also likes Stan’s long legs and sharp humor. Richie has thought about tangling his hands in Stan’s hair and making his curls a mess. He’s also wondered what it would be like to place a kiss on his cheek in the hall and see some of the kids he knows who have a crush on Stan look on with envy.

By the end of the week, once Bill has asked, hesitantly, if Stan might be interested in joining whatever the hell they are at this point, Richie get’s to do just that. Bill had been worried that Stan would only want to be dating him and not the other two as well. When Stan kisses him good morning at the bike racks and moves on to do the same with Eddie and Richie as well he feels happier than he had been when Stan first agreed.

Bill is sure that now that there are four of them they’re going to have to talk about it more seriously. Stan never really brings it up though, just starts holding hands with whichever three are closest to him, sometimes two at one time, walking with them to classes and dropping kisses on their lips before leaving like they all do. Stan does it in a rotation because aside from first and fourth period his classes are on the other end of the school from everyone else.

The Losers, while completely accepting are a bit more surprised with the addition of Stan, more for the fact that he’s willing to be in a relationship that involves Richie than anything else. Stan told them, almost tonelessly, that while yes, he and Richie bicker and he thought that his jokes were tasteless he didn’t like him any less than Bill or Eddie. No one ever questions it again after that.

The four are surprised when Mike is the next to wheedle his way into their relationship, but really, none of them are complaining in the slightest. It was a subtle integration.

It happens the night the four of them are watching a movie in Bill’s converted basement. It’s a date night, they’re all sprawled against each other, kissing occasionally, tickling more often than not (Richie had caught Eddie’s elbow to the ribs for that one.) Everything is normal for them when the sound of Bill’s doorbell ringing. They all get up to answer it. Mike stands on the other side, hands tucked into the front of his jeans, looking almost bashful under the porch light of the Denbrough house.

“Mind if I join you guys?” At the time, none of them had thought anything of it and agreed, welcoming Mike into Bill’s house with open arms. They all descended back into the basement. Stan was sure that the newcomer was going to sit in the lazy boy that had been unoccupied for the majority of the night but he didn’t. Instead, once everyone else was back to where they had been before (Richie and Bill twined together on the couch, Stan and Eddie sitting in front of it, fingers interlocked) Mike places himself next to Stan and in front of Richie, but not enough that his vision of the screen was disturbed.

After the film resumes and was playing for a bit Mike carefully slings his arm over Stan’s shoulders, fingers brushing the nape of Eddie’s neck enough to make him shiver slightly. The next day at school Mike carries Richie’s books to class for him, and after lunch, on his Bill and Stan’s way to fourth period he takes Bill’s unoccupied hand in his. By that time the four realize that when Mike had asked “mind if I join you guys,” he hadn’t just meant for the movie.

After three days when Mike has yet to kiss any of them Stan thinks it might be time to actually talk about “rules,” for the five of them.

The discussion ends with Mike explaining that while he definitely has romantic feelings for them he isn’t sure about anything more intimate, the idea just not very appealing to him. Most, aside from Stan, are surprised by the revelation but it was decided that kisses on cheeks were acceptable for giving and receiving on Mike’s end, anything else was to be determined at the boy’s own discretion. It did nothing to change the fact they were now a group of five and Mike had shown his relief by treating them to ice-cream.

Richie decides that Mike is now his favorite boyfriend because of it. (Everyone knows that there really are no favorites which is why, ultimately, the relationship works.)

Ben and Beverly are the only two left. They’re already in a relationship and have been since before Billy and Eddie became a thing. That’s why Bill is sure that the evaluation of the Losers club is complete and everyone is in their place.

When Bev comes to him with Ben in tow one day, just Bill on his own (the other three in the process of getting picked up by Mike in his pickup) he’s not expecting her to say what she does.

“I want to date you guys,” Bill can feel his eyes widen because right away he’s willing to say yes, no matter how in love he is with his four wonderful boyfriends (because he is) he’s also in love with Bev, and, Bill’s eyes wander to her boyfriend, Ben as well. Bill loves all of them, deeply in a way that doesn’t allow just friendship to dwell. But Ben looks mildly nervous, like there’s something he wants to say but doesn’t know how. Bill says it for him. Because he knows Ben, and he knows that someone has to.

“B-But B-Ben’s not g-gay.” Because what it comes down to, really the heart of the issue, is that if Bev wants to date Bill and everyone else, Bill won’t let her do it without Ben coming along. It wouldn’t seem right. Ben almost sighs with the release of tension, like the statement was welling up inside and only now that it was brought up could they really address it.

“I’m not,” he starts out, more confident than Bill’s ever really seen him (at least without a pen and paper in hand), “but the truth is, I do, kinda, love you guys,” he looks at Bev who’s holding his hand for reassurance, then he looks back to Bill, “all of you.” And Bill sighs as well, because good Ben feels it too, the deepness in his heart that can’t just be filled with only one of the Losers. Maybe with all of them, it can be.

New “rules” are brought up at the quarry that night while they relax, feet dipping into the rapidly cooling water. Eddie and Stan love Bev, forever they promise, but sexually they just aren’t into women at all, unlike Bill and Richie, so while light pecks on the mouth are alright and more than welcome anything more intimate will be left to the boys (aside from Mike and Ben of course). After it’s established that Ben is more than willing to cuddle and hold hands with the others (much like Mike is) there isn’t anything else to really talk about and everything is good.

Richie can’t help but think that everything is complete and in a moment of actual maturity, states as such, earning him a kiss from Stan and Bev alike.

So yes, it starts with Bill and Eddie, but it ends a bit differently.

It ends with a lazy Saturday night, a group of seven people in love crammed in the converted basement of their boyfriend’s house. The lazy boy goes completely unused because if someone is sitting there then they aren’t all together, connected by crossed limbs and tangled fingers.

They’re all on the floor, blankets and pillows spilling from the puddle of people they make. Bill is resting his back against the front of the couch, Stan’s back against his chest as he sits between his legs, Bill loves running his fingers through Stan’s curls so that’s what he does. Mike is beside Bill with Bev on his other side, she’s got one of his hands in her, fixing his nails (which are often a wreck after working on the farm), Eddie is laying across their laps, feet on top of Bev’s legs while his head rests on Stan’s thighs. Ben in on the couch, laying so that he can reach Bev’s hair, braiding little sections that have grown longer than other and Richie is laying with his head on Eddie’s stomach, something they all know the smallest boy with complain about later on which will cause Richie to stretch out across him instead and tip the careful balance of bodies they’ve managed. They know it’ll happen, and when it does they know they’ll laugh, and share kisses and rearrange into a new coordination until they fall asleep one by one. Safe in the little nest they’ve made of each other’s hearts and arms.

Honest

Requested
Who:
Tom Holland
Song: Honest by Shawn Mendes

Part One ||| Part Two ||| Part Three

It’s that I hate to hurt you
But I got to be honest
I can’t give you what you need
You deserve more than I can promise
And I’m just tryna, I’m just tryna
Baby, I’m just tryna be honest


{Part one of this imagine}

Tom glanced up from his phone to see [Y/N] walking towards the table he had grabbed just outside their favorite lunch spot. Tucking his phone into his back pocket, he stood up and gave her a hug. It took everything in him to avoid kissing the lips he had gotten used to. Watching as she sat across from him, his heart broke at the fact that in less then thirty minutes, she wouldn’t be glowing like she usually did. 

“What did you need to talk about? Sounded pretty serious.” 

Tom pressed his lips together, running his hands over his thighs as he prepared his thoughts. “Um, I wanted to, uh, we need to um.” Clearing his throat, he closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know how else to say it other then we need to break up.” 

Suddenly regretting opening his eyes, he frowned at her expression. The pain and confusion radiated off her eyes. Running his hands over his face, he groaned. He should have rehearsed this in his head or at least ease into the conversation. “I don’t want to but it’s just, I can’t. It’s so difficult to be in a relationship right now. With the stress and demand I’m in, I just, I.” Tom looked at her, biting his lip. “Say something, [Y/N].” 

[Y/N] leaned back in her seat, her chest feeling like it had been run down by a train. “I don’t know what to say right now, I’m kind of blanking on words.” 

Tom reached for her hands, rubbing his thumb over them. “I love you, [Y/N]. I probably always will but you deserve so much more from me and I just physically can’t give it to you. I’m not going to ask you to wait because that is beyond unfair to ask that of you. I’m being honest with myself and with you.”

She gently drew back her hands, placing them in her lap, she took a shaky inhale. “Is there, is there someone else?”

“No! Absolutely not.” Tom cried out, shocked that she would even ask that. “I promise, [Y/N]. There is no one else, no one but myself influenced this decision.”

[Y/N] couldn’t really say if she believed him or not. She had seen the premieres and had even been to a few after-parties. She had seen the looks some of the girls their age had given him. It would be easy considering she was off doing her thing and he was off doing his most times. 

“[Y/N], look at me.” He said gently, waiting for her to meet his gaze, he firmly stated. “No one else in this world has my eye, it’s only you. But, I just can’t give you what you deserve. I want to, god, I want to. I want it to be like it was, us cuddling on the couch watching a film with Tess trying to eat our popcorn. I want those back but with Spiderman and other opportunities, I-”

“-you don’t have to explain yourself, Tom.” She cut him off, unable to listen to anymore. “I get it, you’re growing into this incredible actor and you have walk through the doors as they open. I understand. I’d never want to hold you back.” 

“Oh, [Y/N], love. This isn’t about me, at all. It’s about you. I want you, always. But, I won’t always be able to and before it gets to that point where we end things on bad terms, I want to save it.” Sighing, he ruffled his hair and whimpered out. “I love you so much and I want it to work but my time is-”

“-I understand, Tom.” [Y/N] pressed her lips together, standing up, she leaned over and pressed a light kiss on the creases of his forehead. Pulling apart, she felt a tear slid down her cheek and land on his hand. Wiping away the streak, she took a quick inhale and tried to find her composure. “I, um, I should get going” 

“[Y/N]?” 

“Uh,” wiping away a few more tears, “yeah?” 

“I really do love you, okay? Please don’t ever believe that I didn’t.” 

Nodding, she gave a small wave. “Got it, I won’t forget.” 

Tom watched as she spun on her heel and walk away. Little did she know that even though she was feeling like the whole world was crashing down. Tom was feeling like someone had stabbed a knife in his chest and was continuously twisting it inside. It hurt to watch her walk away, to watch her walk away from their love, walk away from the last few years, and incredibly difficult to watch her walk away crying because he was the one who caused her to do so. 

Sitting back, he closed his eyes. The choice he had made was only benefiting her in the long run. [Y/N] deserved so much more attention than he had been giving her the last few months. Opening his eyes, he stood up and started his walk back home. As he took his first steps, he felt the full extent of the blow of having just broken up with her. What if he had made a mistake? 


Part One ||| Part Two ||| Part Three 

A-Z NSFW: Suho

Originally posted by daenso

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Suho’s EXO’s mom, and the boy looks like a muscle pig, he certainly knows the importance of taking care of yourself after a…ahem…work out. He’s almost annoying with it, “we sweated a lot and you need to rehydrate your body, you have to drink this glass of water before you can sleep” kind of thing, but of course it’s because he loves you and wants you to be happy and healthy afterwards.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Let’s be real, he’s a muscle pig. He likes his abs. Obv. They come in handy sometimes though, it means he’s got the power to hold you up and stuff….On you he loves your eyes, he likes being able to see every emotion your face tries to hide; you can’t hide the look of love, lust, or arousal in your eyes. They are the gateway to the soul after all, and he loves how he can read you like a book.

C = Cum 

While Suho is usually really composed and proper with everything, he’s pretty messy when he cums. He’s one of the guys that you’ll have to strip the sheets and shower afterwards because he’s like a fckin hose, he sprayed fckin everywhere. Your water bill is going to be sky high….

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

Everyone makes Daddy Suho jokes and whatever but I hella think he’s actually really submissive. He’s got to be in charge of EXO, and be the boss and all, he gets enough taste of being in charge while being the leader of EXO, so it’s almost kind of shameful in his mind that he actually likes to hand over full control to you. But I mean, he’s submissive, you’ll find that out in no time. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Suho did have a girlfriend when he was training until they broke up because he couldn’t give her the attention she deserved such a good guy but he’s also one of the most gentlemanly guy’s I’ve ever seen, I don’t see him having had random sex like that, especially that young. So I don’t think he’s actually did the do yet, and tbh I think he’s pretty innocent minded too. Obviously a grown man can’t exactly not know what sex is, but he doesn’t have any real hands on learning experiences. 

F = Favorite position

I see Suho being pretty traditional and vanilla, honestly. Your smutty fanfics don’t fool me, Suho’s a basic sex guy. Missionary or you on top is pretty much the norm in his mind, and that’s most of what you two do, however he’s pretty fond of spooning you and doing it that way. He likes holding you, what can I say?

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I can’t see Suho being stone cold serious when his shirt is off. He’s almost shy and embarrassed, in a way. He’s pretty giggly and sex is really lighthearted and fun, there’s no pressure or expectations with him. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Suho’s pretty on top of things, he’s organized and handles all the EXO business, I can’t imagine him not taking care of…down there….He’s works out and all, and he’s not bare, but he definitely manscapes and keeps things nice and tamed. 


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I’ve always said Suho is more husband material than boyfriend material, he’s the guy that you could date for 3 months and be like ‘yup lol he proposed and we’re getting married’ because he’s such a gentleman and romantic and loving. He’s kind of over the top romantic in the bedroom, like the shit you see in movies is how he is, with rose petals and candles and ‘I love you’s and music. You might have to tell him to dial it back at some point because boy…that’s a lot….

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

[See Yearning] I don’t think he’s a very horny person? He’s pretty busy all the time, between EXO, being the leader of EXO, acting, concerts, practice, working out, etc that I don’t see him actually stopping and taking a minute to jerk off. It’s more of an off, ‘oh im showering and its night and im about to go to bed…washin my dick and ooops im jerking off’ kinda thing, it’s almost an accident half the time lol.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Like I said, he’s not dominant in the bedroom. He’s pretty submissive and let’s you do what you want. Submission on his part is kind of his kink, you being more dominant and all. But he likes being blindfolded too, the whole gig of being submissive and giving you control while taking away his ability to even see and predict what you’re doing really works him up. 


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t stray from the bedroom, the bed is the only place to have sex really. Sex is 9/10 right before bed or as soon as you both wake up and you squeeze in some morning sex before his schedule. He doesn’t really have much spare time to skirt off with you to a broom closet or anything, the bedroom is his one and only.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

More often than not, you’ll have to be the one to make Suho take a breather and a moment to himself and initiate some form of contact. You coming onto him is what turns him on, he likes you making the first move, and lowkey it’s because he knows how much you want him then, that you’re the one bringing him into your web with promises of a looong night together. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Aside from the blindfold, Suho’s not very interested in toys, they just don’t do much for him. He has no issue with you bringing them in and using them, he likes watching, but him using them on you isn’t a turn on for him, he’d rather be doing it himself.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers fingering you, to be honest. He’s not very skilled in that sense, but he does have an enjoyment for you riding his face. Suho, on the other hand, quite enjoys having you on your knees, he favors 69 a lot, you topping and both of you having your own fun and giving the pleasure 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s more on the gentle side, he’s not very rough or hard but his pace is pretty fast, toeing the line of unbearably fast. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Like I said, he’s not a very hormonal guy, and sex is almost scheduled to happen at night or morning at home, so quickies aren’t a constant in your relationship. He doesn’t enjoy them much, the rush cuts a lot of the pleasure out, so he’d prefer proper sex as apposed to quickies. 


R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Suho’s not the kinky guy y’all think he is, he pretty much a standard, vanilla-ish guy. He’s not very experimental, different positions you propose are his extent of experimenting. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s not easily worn out, he’s used to working out and the extensive EXO schedule, Suho lasts for quite a bit, normally from 6-10 minutes. And typically he can go 2 or 3 rounds if he’s given a proper break and you’re up for it. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
[See NO]


U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Since you’re mostly in control, he doesn’t have the luxury of teasing, but when given the chance, he does like to tease you a bit. Get you squirming just a lil bit, hear you beg for him, he relishes in it. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Suho’s a loud guy when it comes to sex, he makes every sound in the book; moaning, grunting, panting, spewing out curses, etc. God forbid someones around, they will hear him plain as day, and poor Suho’ll have to suffer the teasing the next day. 


W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

A bolt lock was bought specifically because of being walked in by Mr. Picks-A-Lock aka Chanyeol so much. As a leader, you can only have your members see your member so many times before some action needs to be taken….Chan…stop picking locks wtf is wrong with you?

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)


:)))))))))))))))))))

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Suho’s sex drive is a bit below average, he’s under a lot of stress and working hard that he’s literally got no time for boners, so honestly sex isn’t as frequent in your relationship because he’s not really hormonal or turn on as easily. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Between being the leader, being an EXO member in general, and working out for the muscles he has….Suho doesn’t tire out easily. He’s used to working hard and pushing his body to the limits, so just sex with you isn’t going to be enough to put him to sleep. He’s move of an after sex cuddler, before he gets up and has to go about his day. He doesn’t go to sleep after sex, not unless it’s literally bed time. 

I wrote this directly after I left my first Harry Styles concert. My emotions were more elevated, and now that I’ve had some time to sit and reflect, I feel a little less raw. Keep that in mind.

I definitely got carried away, just needed to type it out, I guess. It seems a bit mad, and I’m slightly hesitant to post, but maybe someone else can resonate and understand.

Music does fucking weird things to you, man.

Warning: it’s pretty aggressive in terms of “I miss this fucking boyband so much, I cry about it,” but you all know.

It’s not just a boyband.

You get it.


I saw Harry Styles at the Chicago Theatre on September 26th.

Several people have asked me for an update.

First disclaimer: this is less of a concert play-by-play and more of a word vomit. About One Direction. About Harry. About the hiatus, the crazy shit it’s made me feel over the past two years, the future. All a bunch of nonsense - or maybe not - thoughts.

Honesty hour ensues.


Let me preface this by saying I’m grateful. So beyond grateful for all my experiences. I won’t take advantage of that. I never have. Never will.


One Direction holds an interesting pull over millions of people. Me included. I fell in love with them on a whim - it wasn’t intentional. I don’t understand it. I can’t make sense of it. I can’t explain to others why I’m so invested. But at this point, I don’t bother with an explanation. I love to love them.

“One Direction is broken up. You still listen to them?” The amount of times I’ve heard this. I’m homesick for people who don’t know I exist. Moderately crazy, but shows the extent of the soul this band put into their music and performances and relationships with each other. And us. I feel tied to it.

Is any other fandom like this? I don’t know. Nor will I ever know.


Anyone who knows me knows I’ve had a very difficult time with the whole “solo” endeavor. One Direction is the biggest and most important part of my early 20’s, and for it to stop so abruptly and without any closure has taken an embarrassing toll on me. My best friend and I have become sickeningly close during our travels - we’ve experienced seven shows together, one of which was out the country - and to me, One Direction concerts became a place to make some of our deepest memories that no one else can replicate, or understand. I met friends - my Rita - through this band. I met you guys. It’s been two years of wondering and waiting if and when they would make a return into our lives, and then. Instead. We got solo Harry. Full force.

I understand the point of the break. I get it. Overworked. Shit management. I’ve exhausted the topic in my own mind, and with others. Doesn’t mean I’m jumping for joy over it. I’m a 1d stan at heart; I support them as individuals, but when it comes down to it, my loyalties lie with the band.

I’ll be candid and real, which I’m often not on this blog. I initially jumped on the “1d went on hiatus because of Harry” bandwagon. My original logic: he said he was the one who initiated it. He was the one who had solid plans. Louis said he fought it. Niall said he wasn’t ready for it. And after closely paying attention to hundreds of interviews since 2015, Harry has clearly showed his gratitude toward the band - don’t get me wrong - but he’s the only one who hasn’t talked about a return date. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to give false hope. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know and doesn’t want anyone to read too much into his words. Maybe he’s moved on. Whatever the case, I shied away from his career at the beginning and couldn’t get excited like everyone else seemed to be. It hurt my heart to see him so happy and thriving away from the pieces that helped him with his start, his life. Honestly, I know I would have felt hesitant about whoever happened to go fully solo first (Zayn doesn’t count - that’s a very different situation). Sure, Niall and Louis had singles out last year, but it’s not the same as embracing a new album, a new identity. It just so happened to be Harry first.

Second disclaimer: I hate that the band isn’t together, but I could never hate any direct member for that. Ever. No one is specifically responsible. And I know that.

My vision is clouded. Selfishly, I didn’t want Harry (or any of them, really) to fall out of love with the past because I wasn’t ready to fall out of love with it. It’s brought me so much joy and love and laughter and experiences. It feels like I’m begging please don’t move on without me. I’ve found a major piece of myself because of this band, and as ridiculous as it sounds, I now feel a little lost. Being 25 is weird enough in itself, in terms of career and relationships and generally just being, and now take away the part that gave me stability and my independence, and I’m just. Wandering. Waiting for something to happen to make me feel as happy as One Direction did.

Reading that back sounds ridiculous. But I’m not the only one here.

I know what this looks like, what it sounds like. I know how skewed my perspective is. I’m doing my best to fix it.


I have Harry’s album memorized. I love a few songs, like a few, dislike a few. I guess that goes for every album. His style has changed from what we’re used to, as has some of his lyrics, but the quirkiness is still the same. The heart is still there. I knew it would be.

I was overwhelmed walking into the show. It’s been over two years since I’ve seen a member of 1d on stage in front of me. I had high expectations - expectations for his performance, expectations about how I wanted to feel once it was over. The venue was beautiful. It was the perfect place to listen to this album live for the first time. Echoey and full of charm and personality. Crystals. Velvet couches in the box seating area. Marbles floors and winding staircases. Pink hues across the stage. Simple, effective lighting. Harry. All Harry. No more crowds by the thousands, no more booming music, no more larger than life stage. Somehow, I felt more anxious.

He did not disappoint. But then again, I didn’t expect him to. For the past three years, he’s always done the best job at captivating my attention whilst performing. Nothing has changed in that sense.

It felt like the final nail in the coffin for 1d, kind of. My friend’s words. It’s too hard to imagine him doing this and then going back to a place where he doesn’t get to 100% put his whole self into what he’s doing, and has to share and compromise on ideas. I understand that. It would be counterproductive to work backwards. It wouldn’t be impossible, but it would definitely feel less organic.

Not just for Harry. For all of them.

Doesn’t mean I’ve lost faith, though.

“It’s been two years since we’ve last seen each other,” he said, “and in those two years, I missed you so much.”

I cried from the moment I sat down until I got back to my hotel room.

I like to be overwhelmed by music. But not like this.

I think part of it is because this was only the fourth night of his tour. It’s still brand new. I’m still not well acquainted with it. New territory, uncharted. I sound so ugly for being so conflicted about solo endeavors, especially when I know there were people who won’t get the chance to see him and I did. I’m grateful, I promise. I’m working meticulously to sort my brain from my heart.

I’m seeing Niall in a few weeks. God help me if I feel this royally fucked over from him, too.


Harry has not left behind his roots. That much was clear. I don’t think I was ever really worried about that part, because he’s pure and kind and appreciates everything in his life for what it is. He would never speak an ill word about 1d. Ever. I don’t think he has any ill words. I sobbed when he performed WMYB. I loathe that song. It felt like a small piece of home, anyway, him using their start as a part of his start. He looked gorgeous. He sounded like a dream. He doesn’t have as much room to prance, but he made do. No catwalk, no problem. I missed his voice. His speaking voice, preaching to the crowds about love and bravery. His terrible jokes. His gratitude. Christ, it felt so good to have him in front of me again.

Kiwi was exceptional. The crowd went off. SOTT was overbearing in a beautiful way. Hearing everyone scream “woman!” all at once was a Goddamn experience. The room was deafening for the entire show.

It wasn’t the same. I didn’t expect it to be, but I wanted it to be.

My friend kept saying, “One Direction is so dead and I couldn’t care less.” I care. I hate the division amongst the fans, amongst the media. “Pick a team.” I don’t want to. Right now, my friend loves Harry more than One Direction as a whole, so she doesn’t understand. I’m not going to try to make her. The crowd chanted “Harry” during the encore, and my heart hurt in the strangest way. I told Rita about it. “Ugh. Just Harry.” I knew she’d understand. She almost always does.

I love Harry Styles. With my entire heart. He was happy on that stage. Even while I stood in the back with my face in my hands, I could see that. I’m happy he’s happy. I love nothing more than a happy Harry. The world is a better place when he’s smiling.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel unsettled.

It’s out of my control. Accept the good that comes along with changes. Something I’m learning. Something I’m sure all five original members of One Direction are also learning.


I’m seeing him again on Saturday, in Boston. I’m hoping the initial shock will be mostly worn off and now that I know what solo 1d feels like, I’ll feel more ready for it. More ready for his sequined suit, his smile, his note changes, his band that isn’t the one we’re all used to, the harmonies that bleed together as if it was fate, the lack of three other boys who I miss terribly.

Maybe he misses them as much as I do.


I saw Harry Styles at the Chicago Theatre on September 26th. He was stunning. He moved me to tears. He ran with a rainbow flag, made us scream about pizza, looked beautiful in the neon pink lights. It wasn’t One Direction. It wasn’t better. It wasn’t worse. It was just different. And that’s what I’ll keep telling myself. Embrace being different. It’s what Harry does, after all.


I’m profound in the art of making five days worth of clothing fit into one carry on bag. I can memorize new albums in 48 hours if I have the right determination. I’m able to meticulously plan trips to new cities and venues like it’s nobody’s business. I’ve yet to master the ability, however, of separating love and music.

But I guess those are technically the same thing, anyway.


Thank you for a beautiful show, Styles. Thank you for allowing us into your life, for staying true. I’ve missed you, as a whole, as an individual. I’ll see you on Saturday.


Stay tuned for a second update this weekend. I’m sure it will be much different. I’ll be sure to post some photos, as there will “mainly be prancing.” And what a shame it would be to miss that.

xx Shelly

NCT 127 reaction to the other members not liking their GF/BF

MASTERLIST

Anon: hey!! i really love your blog, i even went to sleep like an hour late because i absolutely wanted to read everything…… (hi, i love your writing style) so!! could i request a nct 127 reaction to the other members not liking their s/o (like, because they havent really got to know them yet)? i hope thats not too specific it just.. happened to one of my friends recently (i’m kinda guilty too) so i was thinking of this haha. Have a nice day!!

Thank you for requesting! I just wanted to disclaim that I don’t really think any of the members would hate another person’s partner for unnecessary or petty reasons. This reaction is written in the sense that you/the gf/the bf is not liked by the other members because they’re suspicious of your intentions or just don’t like you for some reason - not because you’re evil or a bully or something lol. They wouldn’t date you if that was the case lol :)

Also, I’m going be pretty inactive from now on because of my bday and college and gym and I’m not sure how much time I’m going to have left. I will try to get at least one reaction out a week!


Taeil:

Originally posted by xehunted

Being the oldest member of NCT, I don’t think Taeil would be immature or petty about the situation. As I’ve said many, many times, it would take Taeil a very long time to progress in a relationship which would give him enough time to know if you were a “good” person or not. So, he’d just disregard any comments or opinions other members had - he’d know you well enough to know you weren’t a bad person. Telling you to just ignore any of their remarks or looks, he’d be pretty chill about the whole thing, never once raising his voice or be rude about it. And I don’t think you, yourself, would have a problem with Taeil’s chillness either; you’re both mature and relaxed about the whole thing. The members, over time, would notice how neither of you cared and realised that you weren’t a bad person at all. They wouldn’t suck up to you or anything, but it might be a little bit awkward between all of you.


Johnny:

Originally posted by cinnamonsynonyms

Johnny would honestly be heartbroken about the whole thing; he didn’t want to upset you but he also didn’t want to upset his members either. But he’s also not the kind of guy to voice this, sticking to actions over words. He’d really tire himself out trying to speak you and the members apart, scheduling dates around practices without making it look fishy or bad. He’d basically be living a bit of a double life, neither you nor the members realising what he was doing. Obviously, this isn’t an act or thing he’ll be able to keep up forever, eventually accidentally inviting you to a dance room for a date whilst the members were there. Although maybe the members would want to say something (about you and to you, I mean), seeing Johnny in a state and ranting about he wished they’d just like you, they’d make the effort to change.


Taeyong:

Originally posted by ohbaibeeitsyou

Taeyong would try to understand it from their point of view – and I mean really try to understand – because he’d know that, in any other situation, he would’ve trusted their opinion. Being civilised, mature and calm would be his way of dealing with things, not doing anything to worsen the situation or upset anyone further. But just the way the members would make indirect remarks about you or give you judging looks, would quickly get on your nerves. He’s a bit like Taeil, he’d take a lot of time and patience and trust to build a relationship; it’s unlikely he’d ever get into a bad relationship in the first way, spotting the tale-tale signs very quickly. So evidently, he’d start to become impatient with the members up to the point where he’s clearly very angry. He’d raise his voice at the members, probably starting a full-blown argument once too. Before, he had tried to be understanding but now it would the other members’ turn to be patient and just see that you’re not a bad person. I see a long ass silent treatment from Taeyong (to the members) and he’d even go to the extent of not turning up to practices. It’d take a lot of time, but I think things would work out.


Yuta:

Originally posted by why-jaehyun

Yuta literally wouldn’t care, not even in the slightest. He’s really not one for fretting over other people’s opinions and it’d apply here too, regardless it being his own members disapproving of him. The only thing he’d really worry about would be you and how you felt about it all. I don’t see him as one to be that good at words or comforting people or being sappy, but he’d really try in this instance. He’d always be complimenting you, asking you if you were okay, telling you he loves you a lot pretty much majority of the time. His worst fear would be you leaving him over this, which, in his opinion, wouldn’t be worth it. Like I said, he’d try to help you in a way that he usually struggles with showing – like showing a new, emotional and different to him. So, he’d even try being understanding with the members, asking them to politely keep their thoughts to themselves and to just not say anything around you (or him) Like with Taeil and Johnny, the members would see how deducted he’d be at keeping your relationship with both them and you healthy despite you hating one another. Just seeing him so dedicated to something innocent and pure would eventually win them over.


Doyoung:

Originally posted by infinitens

Would be quite petty about the whole thing. Of course, he’d make sure you didn’t feel hurt or left out because of the members, but I don’t think it’s unlikely that he’s going to be a pain in the ass about the whole thing. And this wouldn’t just be some petty or immature comment he’d make, he’d constantly be bringing it up, indirecting the members, mocking their behaviour. Although, for you, the members not liking you might be hurtful or feel offensive, but Doyoung’s behaviour would annoy you way more. It’d just become boring and so repetitive to hear him say or do things that really weren’t necessary. But eventually, his complaining would just become a hum, to you and the other members. Without his knowledge, you and the other members would end up bonding unanimously over your hatred of Doyoung’s weird behaviour. Subtle sighs, eye rolls, pretending to gag would all be ways that you and the other members would get along, laughing and giggling at each other. But, Doyoung acting weird would come to an end finally once he finds out that you and the others had met up for a day out without him. To be honest, he’d be relieved – keeping up that kind of immature and petty behaviour would’ve drained him too.


Jaehyun:

Originally posted by futiki

Surprisingly, Jaehyun would try to be optimistic about the whole thing. I think he’s one for liking a challenge and task and although maybe this wasn’t what he wanted or expected, he’d really be up to proving the other members wrong about you. Convincing you to be around the members in the first place though, would be the hardest part. You just really wouldn’t want to be around them if all they were doing to do as give you dirty looks or completely ignore you. But, for Jaehyun, you’d give in and do it anyway, clinging to his side and trying to hide behind him so you wouldn’t have to look at the others. The situation would be tense and stiff, the only person who actually seemed fine would be Jaehyun. He’d just be rambling on (which’d be a first) about you and your achievements and goals and hobbies and traits – basically, narrating your life and highlighting all the good things about you, in hope that the other members would catch on and realise you’re not a bad person. And it would actually work too bc theyre all in love with him istg its gross….jks. Jaehyun would be the most surprised, anticipating it to be much harder and challenging (but maybe, you’d take some time to like the members now because you were unsure of what they think of you really, if they can change their opinion of you so quickly)


WinWin:

Originally posted by ohlychee

Sicheng would probably be the most visibly upset and emotional out of all the members, thinking he had really hit the jackpot with you. The members have practically raised him into a man and made him who he is now, he trusts them with his life and probably always believes in their judgements. So, it’s no surprise that he’d start doubting you too – which’d hurt like hell. He’d be very closed off now, avoiding both you and the members, refusing to speak about it or do anything. He’s not one to overthink, but in this case, he really would be, their comments and opinions literally haunting him and keeping him up at night. Because of the members, your relationship together would be on the line, the existence of it now threatened because they misjudged you. I think, perhaps, you’d even end up breaking up because of it. He’s not like the other members who are way surer of their thoughts and actions and would stand up or defy the members. He’s easily swayed and indecisive, leading him to believe anything they say and accidentally (on both parts). So yeah, it wouldn’t end well in WinWin’s case (unlike with the other members where the others would eventually like you) He’d ultimately regret breaking up with you weeks later and the members would regret having caused all this (and maybe might try to get you back together, but it’s unlikely)


Mark:

Originally posted by jaehyun-a

I really think Mark would be more offended about the whole thing than you. He’d feel betrayed by his members and ignored too. He’d turn pretty cold and would shut down, unusual behaviour for someone usually quite happy and mature. He’d overthink the situation like WinWin, fretting if he had done the wrong thing by saying this or doing that. You, on the other hand, wouldn’t be too fazed about the mmebers not liking you; not everyone would like you and this time around, it’d just happen to be the members. Seeing Mark so worried and quiet would be a scare for you; he could go days without seeing or texting or calling you and then would do the same to the members the next time. He’d think he was doing the right thing by just distancing himself from you all, hoping that by not being around you, neither you/they nor him would talk or think about this hatred that the members had against you. But, really, he’d just be making things worse for himself; ultimately, he’d fail with this odd plan of his (like Johnny) and you’d be forced to ally with NCT to basically just stop Mark from acting so weird. You wouldn’t become chums with the members after though and I don’t think you ever would either; but you’d both care about Mark and wouldn’t want him doing anything stupid so would at least be polite.


Haechan:

Originally posted by haenyan

Haechan wouldn’t really do or say much about this? He wouldn’t be like the other members who try to do something about it or will shut down or something. He’s young and unexperienced so his actions are going to match that. He’d hope that by just ignoring the situation will make it og away – evidently it doesn’t. But in his head and in his heart, he’d feel quite hurt, betrayed even by the members. He’s young, obviously, and still likely to feel quite emotional and insecure about the whole thing, covering it all up with a “I’m fine” or “it’s okay”. He wouldn’t know what to do or how to make things better; he’d think it was his fault or he had ruined your relationship because of it. But, out of all the possible members (as in, in this reaction eg (member) when members don’t like u), they wouldn’t dislike Haechan’s partner that much in comparison. As I keep saying, Haechan’s young and inexperienced and still learning; so, if you were a bad person, it’d be a learning curve. They’d be more cautious of you than actually dislike you personally so eventually they would like you and Haechan would have nothing to worry about.

CONTRARY. {MAFIA & SOULMATE AU} PART 1

Series: When you’re born, you can’t see a color until you meet the eyes of your Soulmate for the first time. Bangtan is known as one of the most infamous gangs around. This series will focus on the lighter side of things, their soulmates- Well, maybe they’re lighter. Maybe.

Genre: Angst, Mafia!AU, Soulmate!AU, Angst, Kind of Fluffy?, Lowkey Smut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mature themes, strong language, sexual themes

Word count: 5,906

Summary: There was no such things as Soulmates in Jungkook’s eyes until he met his own and came face to face with you. Could the Golden Boy of Bangtan have been wrong? 


Jeon Jungkook didn’t care too much about most things even if he excelled in them. His only care in the world a good amount of the time was about his gang, Bangtan. Other than that it was mostly when he would get laid next. The parade of random girls to come out of his home was almost a fun game for the other members to count as their faces would disappear forever.

Your skin was smoother than the last girl he had been with. It didn’t click in his head at first that he could now see the color green, but as he watched your eyes bore in his as he was eating you out it went off all at once. You didn’t dare say a word, he was making you moan too much to do so. He wasn’t sure you realized you could see brown now since the room was dark and with his inability to give a fuck, he didn’t say anything on the matter.

As soon as the sex had ended however, he realized you did know. His eyes had begun wondering your room for the color green to study it and he slowly learned things about you. There were medals covering the walls and pictures of friends and family littering them as well. He could infer your life was cookie cutter cute just by looking and as he pulled you against his chest, he heard your small voice speak. “It was Jungkook, right? That’s what the guy yelled before I pulled you out of the bar and we ran here.”

“Yep.” he was still a bit out of breath. For some reason you not addressing the obvious was making him uneasy as ever. He’d seen you talking to Yugyeom from another gang, GOT7 and he always loved to get what the other wanted. He thought of it as a game despite the other’s dismay. “That’s me. Jungkook.”

“Jungkook.” you repeated, your voice airey and cute. He could feel his heart almost flutter every time you spoke. “Kookie. Does anyone call you that?”

He chuckled and ran his fingers through your hair, “Yeah, yeah. My friends do to tease me. It sounds nice from you though.” He wasn’t quite sure why he was playing along at this point. Jungkook had this whole thing about Soulmates. He didn’t truly believe in them. He watched his parents suffer and fight for years despite being them and when they got divorced, he vowed he would have nothing to do with it.

Yet here he was, watching your figure disappearing into the grey blankets that maybe you’d mistaken as brown in the store. “Hey, put your number in my phone.” Suddenly in his hands was a nice phone with a pink case. Your screensaver was you smiling with a bunch of friends at the beach. The more he learned about you, the more sick to his stomach he felt as it churned around inside of him. However, it wasn’t enough to change his ways.

He punched his number in and carefully handed your phone back to you. His gut told him it was the right thing to do, but his brain instantly kicked in. The moment you were asleep soundly, he unlocked your phone with the code he’d watched you put in earlier and deleted his number. Then he left. Jeon Jungkook had no time for soulmates with the amount of affairs he had for himself and along with the Bangtan ones.

At a young age Jungkook was taught not to believe in any of this shit. Colors are colors and love is love. Two separate entities tied together by some fuck who decided it’d be funny to mess with people. The only love he felt (As much as he hated to admit it) was for the rest of the members of Bangtan. His mother was god knows where and his father called him once a month from whatever hell hole he was in, so Bangtan was it for him.


He arrived home at the crack of dawn and was quickly in the fridge. It was mediocrely stocked at the moment and the Maknae of the house had been swiftly avoiding going food shopping for the past few months. He just held it off long enough that someone got sick of it and eventually went. Normally it was Hoseok’s girl who did it and Jungkook had come to see her as a maternal figure. Their relationship made him want to believe in love, but the only thing he felt for that girl last night was heat. He disregarded any form of a spark as something minor even if the passion was alive in the night.  

Jungkook wasn’t too good at cooking and it didn’t seem as if anyone was home that he could guilt into making him breakfast. He settled for some Lucky Charms that were going stale at this point, but he didn’t care too much. There was a moment where he almost ate the baby puffs that lined an entire cabinet, but opted out. He’d get in a lot of trouble if he tried to take his youngest in the house title back in that way.

He ended up eating more than he probably should’ve, but the guilt didn’t eat him alive. He figured that he should probably replace everything he ate, but he knew he wouldn’t. Time had almost slipped away as he didn’t even hear the footsteps of someone waking up to greet him. It was Namjoon, the leader of Bangtan. He greeted the younger with a corny smile which quickly turned into confusion at the fine cuisine that laid in front of Jungkook.

“How lazy are you?” he snickered and took the seat across from him, “You reek like alcohol and I suggest you shower before anyone else gets up.” Jungkook shrugged and continued to stuff his face, almost devouring the entire box of cereal. “When did you walk in?”

“Like an hour or two ago.” he responded after swallowing a spoonful of marshmallow, “Yo, the weirdest thing happened to me last night.” Namjoon twirled his hand for the other to continue. “I met my soulmate or somethin’. You know green’s a really boring color? I thought it’d be cooler.”

The leader of Bangtan choked on thin air. “And then why are you here?” The two made eye contact for a moment. While Namjoon was shocked, Jungkook’s face read disgust. “Oh, your dumb little fuckin’ thing. Dude, c’mon. Just cause your parents lied to you doesn’t mean it’s the end of Soulmate’s for you as you know it.”

“Lied? You think so?” Namjoon nodded. “I don’t give a fuck. I like my lifestyle. No strings attached.”

“Call your Dad and think your shit through, JK. Don’t break this girl’s heart because of your shitty shit. Don’t make her a straggler when you’re completely able to be there for her. She’s healthy and stuff, so give her a chance. I bet when you fucked it was awesome.” He laughed at the last part and left the room.

This little speech should have sent Jungkook into his thoughts, but instead he was focused on the smell that he’d just realized was around him. He made a sour face and cleaned off the bowl, putting it on the side of the sink instead of the dish washer. He heard people moving through the large home and basically sprinted to the bathroom so he wouldn’t have to take their shit about him smelling all day.

Upon entry to the bathroom, he locked the door and pulled a towel out of the cabinet. He placed his phone on the charger that he conveniently left in there and started running the water so it would be hot enough for him to get in. Jungkook was so intent on being annoying in any way that he could that he connected his music to the speakers that lined the walls. It was almost 9 am now so most of the people in the house should’ve been up by then.

His clothes basically peeled off of him but before he could step inside, a thought lingered in his mind about his talk with RM. “Call your dad.” Kept playing through his mind and he simply wondered how Namjoon could know more about his family than he himself. So, he shot his Dad a text asking if they could meet up for lunch today. He hadn’t seen him in a few months, but this definitely wouldn’t be too shady.

Bangtan had been around for about ten years now and Jungkook was 23. He kept in contact with his family to an extent, but he kept them at odds. He never really forgave his mother for leaving or his father for being distant, but somewhere in his deep heart he cared a bit. His childhood home was always toxic and he hated being there.

His father drank a lot and from the tabs Jungkook had been keeping, he was sober now. It’d been a couple of weeks for him and he felt a bit of pride about his father’s state. As much as he had tried to be a good Dad when he was younger, he found home in his friends. He was the youngest of the group and had become friends with them during elementary school.

Jungkook was a popular kid, but everyone has their bullies. One day a bunch of older boys had seen his father piss drunk in the middle of the day and recognized him as Kook’s dad. They were picking on him when his Dad didn’t get him from school and he instead had to walk home alone. Jimin was taking the same route home from school and even though he was shy, he helped the even shyer boy out.

Then after the two got their asses kicked, they became friends. Jimin had been Taehyung’s best friend and Yoongi was Taehyung’s mentor in some school thing from years ago. Hoseok and Namjoon were Yoongi’s two best friends and Jin was best friends with Joon. The seven of them being close just fell into place and the intense family bond they had shone through in any situation. They followed each other aimlessly and thus, Bangtan was created as well.

During his loud shower, Jungkook’s phone buzzed a multitude of times. He ended his shower early because the slight buzzing he could hear through his music was annoying him to no extent. He always managed to get ticked off by the simplest things and as of late his tolerance for such things was depleting

He patted himself off and wrapped the white towel around his waist. He had some fear of getting any kind of water on his electronics even though he was extremely dumb about them. He constantly had drinks around his super computer in his room and speakers lying around the pool and his phone was always in places it probably shouldn’t be.

His father had texted him a multitude of times, extremely excited about Jungkook reaching out. Kook just rolled his eyes at the emojis and exclamation marks, but a little part of him was happy that his father was getting better and actually cared.  The little part of him that wasn’t concerned about the meeting he had tonight for new weapons with Big Bang.

They’d agreed to meet up at a restaurant near his father for lunch in about an hour and a half which meant Jungkook had to leave soon. The new place he was living was a lot further from the Bangtan Base and he knew he didn’t want to be late. He needed to know why his leader knew more than him. Allegedly.

Jungkook was a simple guy when he wasn’t trying to pick up girls. The basic white shirt and black jeans combo was what he normally went for. Today he paired it with a double pierced hat and sunglasses to mask his tired eyes. He’d slept a bit with you the night earlier, but it wasn’t enough for him.



The bed was emptier than it had been a few hours ago and upon waking up you sighed at the sight. You figured he was too good to be true. Jungkook. Your soulmate had been lying next to you hours ago and now he was gone without a goodbye. He seemed distraught upon the awakening, but you couldn’t exactly depict why. It picked at your brain as you got ready for work, but you decided not to let it bother you.

After coming to that conclusion, you continued to let it piss you off. What the fuck could you have possibly done wrong to make him erase himself? Literally fucking nothing. The night was pretty magical in your eyes and the sex was amazing, if anything. The sparks that protruded around the room as you moaned his name into the night had you excited about the future, but now it was nothing.

It simply played through your mind as you showered to get ready for work and you just got consecutively angrier. Meeting your soulmate was always something you had looked forward to in your life. Everyone around you was happy and in a relationship basically and you were constantly teased for your lack there of. Most people had found their soulmate before their twenties and here you were at 23, alone.

So, you did the next best option. You slept around a lot but vowed to stop once you found him. Now, you weren’t too sure about that. Once you got out of the shower you even discovered that he had removed his number from his phone and you couldn’t help but to feel like pang of pain hit again.

Before you left for work, you checked your mailbox with the usual bills downstairs. Except, there was a note inside of the box. It was a handwritten note on a napkin that had the logo of the bar you’d stayed at the night before on it. “I’m here for you next time.” it was written with semi nice handwriting and sighed, “Yugyeom” with a heart and a phone number next to it.

The thought that he had followed you and Jungkook back to your place didn’t even cross your mind as you texted him “Haha, the note was cute.” It was still fairly early so you didn’t exactly expect a reply, but as you got into your car to drive to the office building you worked in, your phone vibrated. “Says you.” It read and you could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

Last night, you’d spoken to the two boys together for a while before heading to the bathroom. When you’ returned, Yugyeom was gone and Jungkook was just the right amount of hot to take you home. You weren’t quite sure why you hadn’t made eye contact before that intimate moment, but you wished you had so you weren’t completely asleep when he left. The thought that he may not have even slept with you crossed your mind as well, so you were happy it didn’t happen back at the bar. The sex was probably some of the best you’d ever had.


Jungkook found himself sitting at the restaurant alone about twenty minutes after his father and himself had decided to meet. He decided to take the time alone to talk to all of the female staff that seemed to be making eyes at him. He knew he was attractive and so did the rest of the world.

He sat twirling a fork in one hand and his other was draped over a chair as he just made eye contact with everyone to pass by his table. Almost each woman stopped and asked if he needed anything, but they made sure to check if he was waiting for a date or not. He laughed off the notion and simply winked, telling them he was fine each time.

His father walked in right on queue at the half hour mark when Jungkook was debating walking out. He apologized profusely for the wait and blamed it on the traffic. He offered to pay for the meal to make up for it, but his son shrugged off the notion and said he could take care of it. After all, when you’re in one of the best gangs around loads of money tends to be one of the perks.

“So, what is it you want to speak about?” They had held small talk, but when the food had arrived his father cut right to the chase. He may have made some poor choices in the past, but he wasn’t slow in this sense. He knew his son. Well, he used to.

Jungkook was somewhat taken back by the direct approach and simply couldn’t decide which question to ask first. On one hand he could be blunt and ask why he could have possibly lied and on the other he could beat around the bush and ask why he was speaking to Namjoon. There was no question to which he would choose.

“Did you lie to me? Is mother not your soulmate?”

His father’s face sunk at the accusation and he immediately put his fork down to make eye contact with his son. “No, she isn’t.” Jungkook’s face fell. As much as he was forced to hate the idea of soulmates, he hated liars even more. “We were going to tell you the truth but then that bitch-” he caught himself as his son’s face  changed at the mention of his mother. “She left and I just wanted you to hate her. I wanted you to fucking hate her, but I didn’t mean to make you hate love. I was so trapped in my own shit I didn’t consider you. I apologize.”

“Then why the fuck are you talking to Namjoon about this and not me?” he snapped and slammed his hands on the table, breaking the vase of flowers that sat between them. His force caused all of the things on the table to jump and move.

“Kookie calm down-” his father tried to console his son as his face heated up, but they both knew he was past the breaking point.

“Don’t fucking call me that!” he was screaming now and the low keyness he held before was completely out the window. He threw the money for their meals onto the table and stormed out, his father at his heels. “You don’t get the right to after ruining a portion of my life! I forgave you for my childhood and lack of! This is something that I so sinfully threw out the fucking window and now I hurt the girl that I’m suppose to-” his voice broke as he neared his car and his emotions flooded through his entire being. “The girl I’m supposed to love! You didn’t get your happy ending and you just ruined mine.”

He unlocked his car and slammed the door, but his father stood right outside. “She died, Jeon Jungkook! My soulmate died and so did your mothers! Stragglers sometimes find a haven in each other, but this didn’t work and you can’t blame us for not working!”

The enraged man slightly rolled down the window as he back out of his spot and briefly held eye contact with the other. “Don’t speak to anyone in my life or I’ll ruin yours. I’ll destroy it more than you already have.”

Then he was gone.


He drove for hours before stopping. It was forced since he his car gas light was on. He recognized the area around him that he went to in his haze and it was near you. The apartment you two had been in together hours ago and the apartment he left you in. Instead of going to a gas station he pulled into a spot in front of the building and his long limbs walked him to the locked door to wait for your green eyes.

There was a chance you could be inside and there was a chance you would just run right by him, but even the small bit that he could apologize mattered. He didn’t want to end up like his father; A liar who couldn’t atone for his sins until he was approached. He didn’t want to be like his mother; A woman who just left the son she’d given raised for the past years.

Jeon Jungkook wanted to become his own person and that meant fixing his attitude. He’d blown off the weapons trade and turned off his phone to do so. If Bangtan wanted to find him, they’d be in his face within moments. They knew he was lost in his thoughts and had to find his way out alone.

It wasn’t until your green eyes were focused on another’s red hair as you approached the door. He store up with half lidded eyes as he watched you walk towards your apartment with none other than Kim Yugyeom. There was nothing happening between the two of you other than laughter, but Jungkook thought he knew better. No. He knew that fuck from GOT7 better than you ever would.

This was all apart of his game. All the other wanted was what Jungkook himself had, but you weren’t willing to give it to him. You didn’t know anything of their rivalry and just wanted a friend to spend your day with. Your plan was to watch some movies, while Bangtan’s finest knew about the other intentions in the red heads mind.

“Are you fucking joking?” Jungkook took long strides over and shocked you, causing you to jump behind your newly found friend.

“You vanished.” your eyes began to well with tears from the sheer emotion that your soulmate was displaying. You weren’t scared or anything, but you could just feel how hurt he was. How something was wrong.

“Well, I’m here to apologize.” his voice was sincere as he attempted to dodge around the taller to make the ever fated eye contact with you.

“And how do we know that for sure?” Yugyeom was testy and easily ready to take matters into his own hands to get what he wanted. GOT7 and Bangtan were currently on good terms, but Jungkook was ready to blow it all to make it up to her. Whoever she was, she was his soulmate and he wanted to learn more.

Jungkook met your saturated eyes and you could almost pass out from the intensity being lit in the area. Between you and him and between the two men you were with. “She knows.” Jungkook’s voice was strong, but you could feel the vulnerability within it and nodded. Yugyeom scoffed and his friendly facade faded back into his fuckboy one.

“Yeah, whatever.” he waved the pair of soulmates off and strode away with no other words. The lack of confrontation was unheard of, but there was probably some ulterior motive. Most likely Jaebum ordered him not to start unnecessary shit. Again.

“Why are you so upset?” you asked, quite unsure of why you were doing so. Yes, Yugyeom had made you feel better about the situation in a way. He’d told you that Jungkook was just some lonely boy from the rich side of town who always got what he wanted. It wasn’t necessarily true but it made you feel better about being ditched. Your question was followed by a brief mumble to yourself saying, “Why do I even care…?”

Jungkook ignored your latter comment and took the kind opportunity to walk over to you and wrap his arm around your waist. Some little thing inside you couldn’t find the anger you’d previously held to push him away and instead let the two of you into your building. “We can talk when we get upstairs.” he stated and held the door open for the two of you to walk through.

The walk upstairs was silent, but you could just feel the raw emotion emitted from his entire being. His touch was directly emulating the feeling towards your kind soul and you couldn’t help but want to make him feel better. Being someone’s soulmate was a big deal in your eyes and if he was willing to get passed what he’d done, you’d consider it as well.

A dark thought of if he did this right away, what was he capable down the road loomed in the back of your thoughts. The only thing scaring it away was the sheer desire to be loved by someone who was fully capable to do so. Who was destined to love you.

His eyes watched your every motion as you unlocked the door and quickly shed your shoes and coat to become more comfortable. He repeated your actions, already feeling at home. You made your way over to the couch and both took a seat. You attempted to create a space in the middle, but he wasn’t having it. He’d wasted all this time already that he couldn’t waste anymore.

There was a long sigh before he began to speak and anxiety rode high within it. “My parents-” he sighed again and began to tap his fingers along his own thigh. “I’m sorry for leaving you without a word.”

“And deleting your number.” you butt in, attempting to ease the tension with a light tone. “How’d you get into my phone anyways?”

“And deleting my number. The last part- is another time. I’ll tell you later.” you opened your mouth to speak again  but as he sighed you decided to hold your tongue. “I grew up my entire life thinking that this whole soulmate thing was a waste of my time. It was nothing personal to you and as I talk, I want you to slowly understand that you did nothing wrong last night. You were perfect.”

A light pink blush tinted your cheeks and you stood up, facing away from him. You glanced at him for a moment as you walked over to the kitchen behind the couch. “If it’s going to be a long story, we may as well have food and drinks. I’m starving and I can hear your stomach through your tears.”

“I haven’t cried.” he was quick to fend himself some from casual playing around. He just shot a smooth smile towards you and cleared his throat to continue. “My parents had gone on and on about how they were soulmates, but today I found out they lied to me. That’s the only way I can put this, truthfully. I don’t have much of a conscious left on me anymore and that’s mainly due to my line of work but you were just fresh on my mind in a way. It wasn’t like your naked body under mine was stuck in my thoughts or the way my name sounded from your pretty pink li-”

He shut off his thoughts about last night upon noticing embarrassed look your face gave and cleared his throat again as you stepped over with a bowl of doritos and soda. “Anyways, I didn’t want you to be upset. The image of you waking up alone this morning played through my head and god damn I wish I would have known sooner so maybe I could have been there.”

You tucked your knees into your chest and leaned against the opposite arm of the couch from him as he inched closer to rest his hand on your knee. “So you just want me to forget about it?” you held back the automatic intention of wanting to roll your eyes and instead just made eye contact with his glimmering ones. “Jungkook-”

“I love the way you say my name.” he interrupted and leaned above your legs towards your face to ensure that he could study the color within your orbs. “I loved the feeling that ran through my body just now. An overwhelming feeling of- love. I think it’s love. I don’t get too much of it outside of my ga- my friends. It’s a little foreign in this sense, but I felt it. I know you did too.”

Words weren’t really able to be formed in this moment and instead you held the eye contact that sparked your entire reason to speak to him. The feelings ran rampant in between the two of you and it was almost predictable that within the same moment you’d both lean in for a smooth kiss. You dropped the guard you had up (and your legs) and embraced the man who was hovering above you, lips connected with your own.

The kiss from a view was nothing special, but for the two of you there was a connection. He was trying to be genuine and make up for what he had done and it was apparent to you that anything to do with intimacy was his way of showing it. His lips were chapped and a bit rough, but it didn’t bother you in the slightest sense. You let your body relax as he completely moved over you, legs on both sides.

The kiss stayed sweet until he pulled away and began to place smaller ones down your body. The memories of last night flashed within both of your minds as he trailed his lips down your face and neck, stopping around the slight amount of cleavage that was exposed. Before anything else happened, he stopped and moved off of you.

Jungkook thought there would be more of a shock factor from the sudden break, but as little as you two knew, you were slightly in sync. He took his seat back on the couch and moved your body onto his to keep the skin on skin alive in his own mind.

“Why do you-” you sighed and he laughed, thinking of the many he’d just partaken in. “What is your job that you’re so cold?” you took the brief silence to move off of his lap and next to him again, much to his dismay.

“My job?” he let out a small chuckle and his eyes darted to his shoes that were kicking the carpeted floor. “What’s your job?”

“I work in an office in a tiny cubicle in the city. It’s nothing special, but it’s never what I thought I would amount to.” he turned his face towards yours and cocked his head to the left side as a question as to why. “I was an athlete when I was younger, you see. I was a freestyle swimmer, but I hurt my shoulder and was told I was no longer able to continue. At that point I was 19 and my life felt over. All my friends had careers and were with somebody- so I gave up on a career and took this job, hoping my Prince Charming would whisk me away.”

Your body language had changed as you spoke, now more droopy and closed in. As much as the past was the past, it still affected your present. It clouded your thoughts on the dark days and was a constant reminder that you were in a rut currently. As happy as your were with your beach days and nights out, you were alone. Hopefully that was over.

“Well, I’m no Prince Charming.” he slung his long arm around your tight shoulders and raked you closer to his body. “But I can try as hard as I can to give you some kind of happy ending. There’s a lot of things that I- I have going on in my life and within a day of knowing you I’ve blown it off. My job is an all of the time job, but because of that you can quit. You don’t have to work as long as I’m alive.”

You’d found yourself rested on his chest and your fingers were dancing across the fabric covering it. His breathing slowed as you looked up at him again after his words with a shocked face. “What do you mean? Jungkook, what do you do?”

He could feel his normal attitude shifting with just the tone of her voice and he knew as much as he was previously against it, he could see himself throwing so much away from her. She was the opposite of everything the Golden Boy had built himself up to be. She was pure and kind, but broken. He could sense she would drop anything for someone he cared about and he wanted to aspire to be like that. Instead, he was dangerous and everything she wished she could be.

“I’m in Bangtan.” with those three words, the scars she’d noticed last night made sense. The fresh ones and the ones that were faded all made sense. As you spoke of such dangerous matters, you position didn’t shift and instead you found yourself further inclined to be close with this man.

“Yugyeom too?”

“He’s in a different gang- Are you okay with hearing this? I’ve had friends whose girls have freaked the fuck out at the mention of the mafia and you’re just asking questions?” a chuckle slipped through his mouth and he kissed the top of your head. “God I wish I wasn’t so fucked up last night, I’ve lost some precious time with you.”

“Am I going to be safe?”

You felt his grip on you tighten and he just nodded. You knew from the slight breeze moving your hair without even looking. “I’ll make sure of it- but I want you to come home with me tonight. Everyone’s going to be mad at me, but I want to show them the gorgeous girl I ditched them for.”

“So I’m your scapegoat?” you couldn’t help but to laugh in the moment and he joined in as well.

“Ah, it’s partly that, but I don’t know what Yugyeom is going to do with the information you may have slipped tonight. He knows you’re my soulmate?” you nodded. “And where you work?” A predictable nod. “Then you’re definitely coming over tonight. As much as I like to pride myself on being the best in Bangtan- I’m definitely not the brains.”

“You’re the muscle pig.” you whispered, but he laughed at the words that breezed by his ears. You stood up and left him on the couch to go and pack a bag. There was something strange about the way you were acting. It was so unlike you to jump along into a foreign land you’d only heard about for a brief moment.

Before this, your whole life was built on paying it safe. You were good at swimming? Keep going. That got fucked up? Take the safe route and work in an office until someone comes along to make you their little housewife waiting at home. While that certainly wasn’t this situation, you found yourself playing into it as if you’d prepared your entire life for this moment here.

There were no calculations you found yourself acting upon and no regulations you had to follow. You most certainly hadn’t tried it, but this could be true love. The act of following so blindly. All you could feel was the danger lurking ahead, but you weren’t afraid. You weren’t alone this time.

“Y/N.” he spoke your name as the door to your bedroom was almost shut with you on the other side. “I’ll be right here when you get back. I promise.”


Author’s Note: Hey everyone! Now you get you know all about Jungkook too! Kind of. I hope you enjoyed this and I wanna say a big thank you for reading and following this series if you have been. I’ve been having some trouble writing it, but I’m enjoying it none the less. Please let me know what you think whether it be messaging me or replying to this! I’d love to know your thoughts and answer any questions.

Have an amazing day & expect more soon. 

Hoseok’s installment!
Taehyung’s installment!
Yoongi’s installment!

Softly, My Love

Or; a relationship told through its softest moments; from firsts to lasts and everything in between.

For Enjoltaire week 2017, day #3: soft.


Their first date is what can only be described as soft. 

They meet for dinner inside of a small Thai cafe, and Grantaire’s heart does somersaults all the way through his meal. Enjolras keeps smiling at him, warmly, tentatively, and Grantaire feels himself blushing every time. 

They hold hands on the walk home; what started off as Enjolras’ fingertips lightly grazing Grantaire’s wrist gradually evolved until their hands were linked, fingers intertwined. Enjolras swings their hands lightly as they walk in tandem and Grantaire thinks his jaw is going to break from all the smiling he’s been doing. 

There’s no kissing before Enjolras walks up  the steps to his apartment and waves a small goodbye to Grantaire; instead they hug loosely for a few moments, promising to have dinner again sometime. Enjolras breaks contact with a smile and Grantaire lets himself wonder how he ever got so lucky as to have that smile bestowed upon him.


It’s snowing, the first time they kiss. 

Grantaire remembers it vividly, because Enjolras was wearing that scarf that he got last Christmas- the red, white, and blue one that Courfeyrac bought him as a joke, yet Enjolras treasures with every fibre of his being. 

He’s also wearing mittens, like, honest to God, actual red fluffy mittens that tickle the sides of Grantaire’s face when Enjolras cups it between his palms. 

“I’d really like to kiss you.” Enjolras says, tracing the outline of Grantaire’s lips with one mitten-clad thumb. “Your lips look very kissable right now.”

“It’s probably the cold.” Grantaire says, stupidly, because Enjolras just asked to kiss him and sure, they’ve gone on a few dates at this point, but still.

Enjolras smiles, his eyes creasing around the edges. “Probably.” he agrees, moving one hand down to Grantaire’s neck. “Can I?”

Grantaire can’t find the words to express just how much Enjolras can, so instead he nods, feeling the ghost of Enjolras’ lips upon his almost as soon as he moves his head. 

Enjolras’ lips are soft, which is unsurprising. His kisses are short, fleeting things, a warm mouth pressing against Grantaire’s for the barest of seconds before pulling away again. Grantaire brings his own hand up to Enjolras’ face, coaxes his lips into staying a little longer, makes the kisses slower, more languid. 

It’s almost perfect, and Enjolras smiles when their lips part, eyes still closed, as if he’s taking time to immortalise the memory behind his eyelids. 

Grantaire’s never felt happier.


Perhaps Grantaire’s favourite fact that he’s learnt about Enjolras is the way he kisses. Or, more specifically, the way he reacts to being kissed. 

Lying side by side after a busy evening of studying together and watching cat videos on YouTube, Grantaire leans over to press a single kiss to Enjolras’ temple, letting his lips linger against Enjolras’ skin a moment longer than necessary. 

As expected, Enjolras’ eyelids flutter closed. Grantaire smiles warmly. They re-open as Grantaire pulls away, tracing his movement through dark lashes. 

“You’re cute, you know that?” Grantaire asks quietly.

Enjolras scrunches up his nose, which, as Grantaire said, cute.

“You’re doing nothing to disprove my point there, Enj.”

Enjolras simply gives him an affectionate roll of the eyes before leaning in closer to Grantaire’s side. “You’re cuter.” he mumbles into the fabric of Grantaire’s sweatshirt. 

Grantaire kisses his forehead again.


Sometimes love is a big thing; a grand gesture or large announcement, the penultimate confession scene in a movie or dramatic chase for the protagonist to follow their heart.

Othertimes, it’s a smaller entity; late night conversations or shared feelings, the soft touches of natural intimacy or the simple comfort of another tangible being. 

The first time Enjolras tells Grantaire that he loves him, they’re on the couch in Grantaire’s apartment, watching the best of the best cheesy rom-com films Netflix has to offer. 

The credits are rolling, but instead of getting up, Enjolras and Grantaire stay cocooned on the couch, too content to move. 

Grantaire is debating whether it would be a good idea to turn the autoplay on, when Enjolras laces their fingers together. 

“Hey,” he says quietly. “I love you.”

Grantaire’s heart does a funny dive within his chest and he smiles before he’s even processed the full meaning of Enjolras’ words. Enjolras is staring at him intently, as if he’s trying to convey the extent of his love through his eyes alone. It’s almost enough to make Grantaire teary-eyed.

“I love you too.” Grantaire says back, even quieter, delighting in the way Enjolras seems to practically glow with the newfound knowledge. 

He smiles, and Enjolras smiles back, like they’ve just shared some sort of secret. 


“Soft.” Grantaire mumbles, running his fingers through Enjolras’ hair gently. Enjolras makes a small sound and buries himself further into the duvet. He’s never been a morning person and Grantaire chuckles to himself at all the memories he has of trying to coax a sleepy Enjolras into wakefulness with coffee and kisses.

“C’mon, sleepyhead, time to wake up. Bright and early.” Grantaire says, despite the fact that it’s eight ‘o clock on a Sunday.

“You wake up.” retorts Enjolras- not his best work, but Grantaire supposes he can be forgiven on account of how his brain still has a little longer to go before it’s functioning properly.

“I am awake, love.”

Enjolras grumbles, but maneuvers himself so that he’s half-laying across Grantaire’s chest, giving Grantaire better access to his curls. Enjolras sighs as Grantaire strokes his hair out of his face, one hand curled up against his hip and the other splayed out against Grantaire’s shoulder. Grantaire smiles as he brings Enjolras’ hand to his mouth to lay a kiss against his knuckles. “Coffee?” Grantaire asks quietly.

“God, yes. Please.” 

Grantaire hums. “Alright. Be right back.” 

Enjolras’ hand wraps around Grantaire’s wrist as he makes a sound of protest. “Stay.” he semi-whines. 

Grantaire laughs. “Enj, if you want the coffee I have to go and fetch it.”

“Stay,” Enjolras repeats, tugging Grantaire back down to lay with him. “I’d rather have you. Coffee later, cuddling now.”

Grantaire is only too happy to oblige.


Grantaire is systematically working the tension out of his boyfriend’s shoulders and upper back, cherishing the little contented hums Enjolras makes whenever he rubs a particular spot. 

“You’re always so tense.” Grantaire mutters, leaning down to press kisses against Enjolras’ shoulders.

“Mmmm, I wonder why.” mumbles back Enjolras, though the corners of his mouth are turned up ever so slightly.

They both know why; it’s a combination of stress, wearing a binder for eight hours a day, and the weight of a messenger bag that somehow always ends up heavier than it started off. (Grantaire has tried to convince Enjolras to stop making so many trips to the library to no avail; Enjolras devours books almost as quickly as Combeferre- which is saying something, given the man’s infamous reputation for reading the entirety of War and Peace in two nights.)

Grantaire’s glad he can be of help- even if it is only in this small way. It’s easily intimate, being with Enjolras like this, and Grantaire’s beyond grateful that it’s normal for them to share moments like this together- a few years ago he wouldn’t have believed it to be possible. 

Enjolras hums as Grantaire rubs his shoulders, and then Grantaire’s hands are being gently swatted away as Enjolras moves to sit up, a contented smile sitting on his face. “Thank you.” he says, trailing light fingers down Grantaire’s jawline before moving to bring their mouths together. The kiss is slow and languid and Grantaire smiles onto Enjolras’ lips, feeling Enjolras do the same. 

“Mmmmmm,” Enjolras murmurs as they break apart, “Your turn now, c’mon, roll over.”

“Enj, you don’t have to-”

“Oh, hush you; you know I do, now roll over.”

“Bossy.” Grantaire chides, yet obliging all the same. It’s practically routine by now, anyway- no matter how much he protests, Enjolras will always insist on returning the favour, probably in the interests of equality or something similar. (It’s not like Grantaire’s complaining; Enjolras gives quite satisfactory backrubs.)

“Enj?” 

“Mhmm?”

“I love you.”

Grantaire doesn’t need to turn around to know that Enjolras is smiling when he replies, “I love you too.”


They get married on a Wednesday. Everything is hectic and everybody is stressing out and Grantaire almost works himself into a panic attack which he hasn’t done since he was eighteen, thank you very much.

Despite this, the ceremony is wonderful. There’s laughter and smiles and Grantaire feels so spectacularly happy he could shout it from the top of the Eiffel Tower and still the grin would not be swept off his face.

Now it’s late, and Enjolras stands in the doorway to their room, shirt untucked and tie hanging haphazardly around his neck. Grantaire doesn’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful.

“Come here, you.” he says, patting the side of the bed next to him. Enjolras huffs and rolls his eyes, although he’s clearly just as giddy as Grantaire.

“Yes, husband.” Enjolras replies dutifully, grinning as he walks over. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Enjolras immediately pulls Grantaire in for a kiss. It’s soft and delicate and so, so lovely that Grantaire has to break away for smiling too much.

“Husband.” Grantaire says, fitting his mouth around the word. “I’m going to enjoy getting used to that.”

Enjolras beams at him.

Relieving the Pressure

Hannibal has a “pattern” of having relationships with violent patients, according to Bedelia. Will is the one who not only breaks this pattern but completely upends it. Hannibal has to adopt various strategies in order to get close to people, let them “see” him and keep them in his life. 

Bedelia: You have to maintain boundaries Hannibal.

Hannibal: When the pressures of my personal and professional relationships with Will grow too great, I assure you I’ll find a way to relieve them.

Hannibal “relieves the pressure” of those who he becomes personal with by neutralizing them. They can “see” him only if there is some other factor that prevents them from exposing who he is to the authorities. He does this by various methods and always by sharing in some kind of murder with the person. If all of these strategies fail, then he will kill the person before they can expose him. There is a definite pattern of how he does this even though it involves different situations and different people. 

With Bedelia we don’t get much of a description about how Hannibal carried out his strategy of keeping her in his life while letting her “see” him. We don’t know how long they had known each other or how close they were before he deployed his strategy. What we do know is that he sent a violent patient to her and when she killed him in “self defense” he helped her to cover up her crime. They were bound together through that and Hannibal took advantage of that. When Bedelia said she wanted to retire, Hannibal was her only patient who refused to stop therapy with her. That’s both because Bedelia refused a more friendly or informal relationship with him and also because of the amount of work he put into being able to have any kind of relationship with her. However, Bedelia only saw “enough” of him, not everything. At the point when she saw more of who he really was Hannibal immediately took lethal action. He went to her home in his murder suit ready to kill her. She only escaped because she had already run away before he showed up at her home. And in the end, he is eating her with Will.

With how quickly Hannibal moved to establish a connection with Will and Abigail, we can assume that Hannibal probably moved at probably a similar rate with Bedelia. He realizes who can “see” or understand him pretty much right away and starts a strategy to establish the connection. With Bedelia it was with a violent secret. With Abigail it was the same thing. He knew that Abigail helped her Father kill the girls and he also helped her to cover up her murder of Nick Boyle and Abigail knew that he called her Father. Like Bedelia, she didn’t “see” all of him and once she hit that point of no return, Hannibal again initiated violent action against her. This time, because of the relationship he wanted with Will, he faked her death instead of killing her. But he still cut off her ear and isolated her from public life and does kill her in the end.

Will started out very much like the others, but because of the special nature of their relationship the pattern is broken pretty quickly. Will was also a very fast connection. Like with Bedelia and Abigail they are bound together by a violent action. However, unlike Bedelia and Abigail, the murder was ruled as legitimate self defense and didn’t have to be kept secret or covered up. Hannibal still used this to establish that trust with Will. Will admitted that he liked killing Hobbs, something he would not admit to anyone else. But Hannibal didn’t show much of himself to Will until he brought Will into the secret that Abigail and he already shared. We can see that at the moment Will says that he knows about Nick Boyle, Hannibal briefly contemplates lethal action by touching his scalpel. But he doesn’t do it.

Originally posted by existingcharactersdiehorribly

When Will “sees” him more fully Hannibal still doesn’t take any lethal action against him. In a definite break of pattern Hannibal lets Will take the lethal action. Will tries to shoot Hannibal and he also sends Matthew Brown after him. And he also has a gun and a knife that he uses against Hannibal unsuccessfully. Then there is the ultimate ending when Will takes Hannibal over the cliff (however that action is interpreted; symbolically or literally). Initially it seemed Hannibal did want to neutralize Will and succeeded to some extent by framing him. Will knew who Hannibal was but because he was framed, nobody believed him. And when Chilton was framed instead of Will, Hannibal felt safe enough to let Will out of prison. When the authorities were getting too close again, and Will says that what they are doing isn’t “sustainable”, he doesn’t decide to protect himself by neutralizing Jack or Will. Instead he decides to end his life in Baltimore and he just wants Will to run away with him. In the end, Hannibal chose not to neutralize Will, certainly not with lethal action as he did and does with Abigail and Bedelia. 

Hannibal decides to neutralize himself

He gives himself up to the authorities, he relieves the pressure, so that Will can decide when he wants to see him again or not. By completely reversing the pattern, and their roles, Hannibal adopted a new strategy to try to make sure that someday Will might be in his life again. Though we don’t know exactly what their relationship looks like after this new strategy, we know it was successful. Hannibal has Will in his life in the end. 

What I find so interesting about this pattern break and role reversal is that Hannibal didn’t need to do it. Will essentially neutralized himself in Digestivo before Hannibal did. He said he would not chase after Hannibal anymore and since Will is really the only person who could catch Hannibal, he could have run away again and been fairly secure in his new life. I think this speaks to the fact that Hannibal never wanted to truly neutralize Will. What he wanted was for Will to be in his life permanently. And as we see with the previous examples, neutralizing a person is never permanent unless it ends with Hannibal killing them. With Will it becomes permanent by Will “killing” Hannibal. 

Room Analysis: Rose Quartz

Anonymous said:
What is the point of Rose Quartz’s room? Not as a narrative device, which it functions wonderfully as a reflective and therefore revealing mirror, but in universe, what was its purpose? Why would Rose Quartz have her room be able to form simulations?

I think this is a good question. When we look at the rooms of the gems, they are their rooms in every sense of the word. Not only do the Crystal Gems own these spaces, but as we’ve seen from Barn Mates, all gems want to feel as though they have a space of their own. 

What I think is that it isn’t necessarily having a physical space itself that really makes the room compelling. Rather, it’s the idea that in a world that is still foreign, sometimes hostile, and always uncontrollable, a room is a space in which freedom and control can be exercised at the same time.

This is more prominently observed in some Gems’ rooms over others. But it’s a recurring thing that is evident enough to warrant further analysis.

Because the space is so personal, we get to see something of the characters that at times, aren’t even revealed to the characters themselves. With that, let’s kick off this new series with Rose’s room.

1. The Imagery of Pink Clouds

When we look at Rose’s room in particular, it does indeed appear consistent with her character, by the sheer colour scheme alone already tells us how much of Rose’s the room is. 

And I think this contrasts with the way the other Gems’ rooms are presented. Characters who maintain a physical presence in the show, like the other Crystal Gems and the Homeworld “defectors” have a more subtle sign that a room is theirs. For instance, Pearl does have the whitish blues in her room, but it could also be mistaken for a room in the Sea Spire without proper context. Amethyst’s room in the temple has piles of purple but the dominant background colours also involve blue. And the Burning Room, which is Garnet’s space, is largely devoid of the colours in her aesthetic. The same can be said for the Barn, Peridot, and Lapis.

On the other hand, Rose doesn’t have her own presence in the show. Her influence in events and the way characters interact is in no part facilitated by present actions. Instead, reminders of her exert a strong influence on the cast. And it would then make sense that each reminder is very prominent and very apparent. 

Part of this presentation involves how the clouds are the same pink as her hair, and her gemstone. I would say that thematically, the overtness of colour indicates a reinforcement of Rose’s identity. While the other Gems are more comfortable with the subtlety of their identity being revealed in their space, Rose needed to be reminded of it every time she entered her comfort zone. 

Rose went through a lot of changes in her life. From leaving her rank on Homeworld, to initiating the Rebellion, to remaining on Earth, to meeting Greg, to deciding to have Steven, her roles continually changed.

That the other main motif is clouds reinforces this. Clouds are transient. They form through condensation and they dissipate. They are moved around by external forces such as the temperature and wind. 

In that, it would make sense that Rose had nothing in her room. It shows that her person was not beyond just letting things go, and letting the forces around her show her what her next step would be. 

We know that’s just the surface though. We know that Rose did struggle with the things she did, that she wanted to make things right but really didn’t know how. Rose wanted to be able to let go. And to some extent she was successful. She didn’t rock the boat she was on too much and was able to leave a lot of loose ends untouched. Chief among them was her own friend and comrade.

Nonetheless, she couldn’t completely shut off how she felt about the past. Her many attempts at healing the corrupted gems show that her past did weigh on her. Trying to heal them may have been a way to assuage herself of the guilt, dragging everyone into the war she started.

On their own, the absence of anything in the room may have served the purpose of centring  Rose. The quiet of her room may have helped her cope with the clutter in her mind. There were so many things that she didn’t say and didn’t try to say.

The room is a sharp break from who she was as a character: Complicated. Even when the weather in the room becomes tumultuous, there is still nothing there. Nothing to get whipped by the wind or tossed around by the draft. But it does show us who Rose wanted to be, or at least what she was trying to become.

2. Projections, Fabrications, and Simulations

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