to say

(○゜ε^○)-  ‘’Le petit Jacques Septique ‘’

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“Top of the morning to you ladies “ / “Bien le bonjour à vous, mesdemoisellles !“

The real translation word per word is “ “Au dessus du matin pour vous mesdemoiselles ! “ but that doesn’t mean anythin’ at all. “top of the mornin’” is more an expression so the french equivalent is a bit different too.(´ε` )♡

- Also,nice chez d’oeuvre ! Magnifique ! J’achète hon hon !-

Persuade them.

Context: the party has just finished fighting a few automatons with ridiculously good armor.

Paladin: Can we steal the armor?

DM (me): I… why the hell not?

Paladin rolls a 17.

DM: You… take all the armor except for the codpieces.

Bard: What are those again?

DM: Oh, sweet summer child.

As much as I love Klance, I don’t want them together until after season 5. 

Ya’ll wanna make this relationship happen fast, but I say w a i t.

Remember Robin and Starfire from the good Teen Titans?

Remember how well written that was? How good it felt when they did get together?

C h i l l

Don't know if it'll count, but still hilarious to me.

Context: One off playthrough my friend are doing of a Homestuck fangame. We go to prototype our sprites. What we throw into there will change the look of enemies.

Me: I’m gonna put my kitty in. My kitty is super fat and adorable, I’m going to be friends with every enemy, I don’t care.

Friend: I put a dildo in my sprite.

Me: You what?

Friend: It’s always vibrating.

Me: Why would you put a dildo in there? WE’LL HAVE TO FIGHT VIBRATING SEX TOYS THAT LOOK VAGUELY LIKE MY POOR CAT.

Harden the Water

Context: Theif who can change the carbon structure of items and Ninja of electricity are trapped by bandits on what is essentially a tiny lake, it’s the first few minutes of the campaign

Theif- Don’t worry, Strange man who punched me and is now my ally, I have a plan to free us! (OOC, said very proudly) I roll to harden the carbon inthe body of water so we can walk on it!
DM-That… What? That’s not, that isn’t how water works.
Theif-(OOC) Yes it is! H2O, that’s two hydrogen and (realizes the mistake, immediately back into character) Strange punching man, I am afraid I am all out of plans!

It is now a running gag in our campaign that anything that would “harden water” (freeze it, ect) is just changing it’s “carbon structure”