Leon the professional AU! watched this old movie yesterday, i kinda liked it. And i loved Matildas clothes… . 10/10
So in this AU Morty lives with his fucked up family, they get killed when Morty is buying stuff at the store,when he comes back he hides with this weird old man next door whos a hitman. Also i think .. . maybe the villain is The Devil? idk. !! !1 um
*to Jason and Zack* You're both pieces of shit. Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming anyway.
[half an hour later and a whiteboard full of diagrams]
So in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy hysterical bird brained homunculi. And I honestly can't tell the two of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.
Magnus: If me and Alex were both drowning, who would you save?
TJ: I don’t know, both of you.
Magnus: No. If you could only save one of us?
TJ: Well, I would probably save Alex because she can’t swim and I happen to know you’re an excellent swimmer.
Magnus: Suppose I was holding an anchor? … Who would you save then?
TJ: Well, why don’t you let go of the anchor?
Magnus: It’s a family heirloom.
TJ: I’m leaving.