to remind him that what he felt was real

ya i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that the people who are talking about sexual abuse and manipulation between and 18 yo and someone a few years younger like otabek and yurio are outliers. your experience isn’t invalid, it’s just part of the minority. if otayuri reminds you of it, blacklist it fam. also you can’t apply western standards to eastern things and yuri will be 16 soon so if he was a real person, you wouldn’t be able to tell him what he can or cannot do with his body because he would be sexually autonomous and the people in his life are probably telling him that as well. whether you felt ready with yourself at that age to have sex, then that’s chill but you’re not him and he isn’t real.

so maybe chill cuz it’s an anime and worse shit gets shipped on the daily (have you ever shipped first years and third years from a sports anime? ……thought so)

Nightmare

Summary: You have a nightmare and Shawn comforts you. 

~~~

I want to run. I’m trying to run, but my feet will not carry me away. No matter how hard I try, I cannot flee. I am stuck where I am. He is coming closer and closer to me. I can’t see his face, because it’s hidden. The pain comes before I’m prepared for it. I don’t know what he wants. I feel like there is no escape. I’m fighting him, but I am only getting hurt more.

My eyes open, and the first thing I see is Shawn’s concerned face near mine. I’m breathing hard, it felt so real, but it wasn’t real. I try to remind myself of that. I don’t know where that dream came from. I’ve never had a dream like that before.

“What’s wrong?” Shawn asks concerned, “Did you have a nightmare.”

I just nod my head in response, trying not to let my emotions overcome me.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t real.” He wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. His warmth engulfs me. “I got you, you’re okay.”

I can still feel my heart beating fast, and I’m trying to breathe normally. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’m right here,” he says, still holding me tight and brushing my hair out of my face. He leans down, lightly kissing my forehead. “I got you. I’m right here.”

I spend a few more moments of trying to gather myself; all the while Shawn is speaking comforting words into my ear and holding me in his arms. My breathing finally evens out, and I’m feeling a lot better. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t be sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Think you’re ready to go back to sleep?”

I yawn, realizing that I really am tired. Nodding, I reply. “Yeah.”

We both move to get a little more comfortable, and I cuddle into his side. “I’ll stay up until you fall asleep.” And that is all I need to hear to feel safe enough to let sleep take me because I know that even if another nightmare does come, Shawn will bring me back to real life and hold me until things feel alright again.

Nightmares (Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky woke up with a loud gasp as his hands clutched his hair, trying to rid himself of the nightmare that always crept up at him in the middle of the night. His nightmares were always a bit different but it always ends the same way, and wondered if the nightmares ever cease, but at the rate he’s going, he thinks it never would. His hair was matted against his skin, with the small sheen of sweat that clings to his skin.  The worse part of nightmares were that even when he wakes up, they terrorized his thoughts, reminding him over and over of what he saw and that as he closes his eyes, it was still all he could see. He desperately needed to remind himself that it was a dream, that it wasn’t real, yet at times he felt that he couldn’t tell the difference.

“Bucky?”

Bucky quickly turned on the bed light, and turned to face the soft voice. The bright light making you quickly cover your face with your arm to shield yourself from that harsh light. But despite looking like a mess at this very moment, to Bucky seeing you made it real, he was here with you, he wasn’t dreaming. The mask that keeps his emotions pretty intact came crashing down as he looked at you, seeing you look up him as you got used to the light.

Bucky quickly pulled you into his arms, needing to know that you were safe, that you were here. His nose buried in the crook in your neck, burying himself in your scent, the scent that always reminded him of home. He needed to anchor himself to you to make sure that you were real and anchor himself to this reality so that it wouldn’t contort into a wicked nightmare; it wouldn’t be the first time if it did.

Your shoulder was starting to dampen, making you hold him closer. Your heart was shattering for the third time this week. Wrapping your arms tighter around the gentle man, you rested your head on his shoulder, placing small kisses on the skin that met his metal arm, whispering that he would be ok. But it didn’t make the tears stop at all; in fact you felt that it was making it worse.

You slightly pulled away to look at his face, seeing the effects of his reoccurring nightmares more clearly now. The skin around his closed eyes sunken in a bit more and a darker shade then the skin around it, he was exhausted because this was the third time this week that he woke up like this, and it was one of many weeks as well. You would always try to coax him into tell you, but he always refused, brushing it off as nothing. There were times that you thought he was fine that the nightmares were over, because he wouldn’t wake you up in the middle of the night but it wouldn’t be until the morning that you would notice these same tired eyes, reminding you that that he was still plagued by them, except he would do anything possible to make sure that you wouldn’t wake up. Making you feel worse than you already did, since while you were sleeping soundly, Bucky was being plagued by who knows what.

You cupped his damp cheeks feeling the hot tears and with the pads of your thumbs began to dry those loose tears. once most were gone you leaned in to kiss his eyelids catching any loose tears before they fell.

Each small kiss made him relax; it was a much needed reminder that he was human that he was loved and not the Hydra soldier that was forced to do monstrous things. He wasn’t sure how he ended up with someone like you, a light that he greatly needed when the world around him was so dark and alone, sure he had Steve, but even he wasn’t enough at times. His arm clung to you, making sure to not let his cold metal one come anywhere near you, scared that he may hurt you if it dared make contact with you.

“It would be easier to help you if I knew what was wrong,” you whispered as you kissed his forehead.

“It’s nothing,” he replied.

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t be waking up every other day,” you said with a worried tone as you climbed onto his lap so he could look at you better, or try to if he would open his eyes to look at you.

“It’s nothing (Y/N),” turning to the side, doing everything he could to not look at you because right now with the images of his nightmare vividly running through his head, you were one of the last things he wanted to look it.

“Bucky, I’ve known you long enough to know when you are lying; just let me help you. Please let me in,” you whispered knowing that he was shutting himself away like he always does when he has these nightmares.

“I can’t, I don’t want you to be afraid of me (Y/N),” he said, looking at anywhere but your eyes, because if he did he would feel the guilt ten times more.

You let out a small laugh, “Bucky, you know more than I do that I would never be afraid of you,” you said turning your face so he could look at you, but right before your eyes met his, he shut them once again.

You knew that his nightmares were bad; it made your heart ache to know that the person that you loved the most wouldn’t tell you what was wrong. Bucky didn’t deserve this, after learning everything that he has been through, all the suffering and pain he went through in this time period and the one he was originally from and even as the Winter Soldier, he just didn’t deserve this. He’s been to hell and back, and because of that he deserved the world and more, not these night terrors that kept him up till daybreak that plagued his thoughts like a leech, none of it all…yet it seemed that life just never wanted to give him a break, always giving him the worst of ends of the stick.

You remembered Bucky when he first came to the tower, he was was more out of place than Steve when he exited his own ice block. He walked on eggshells to prove to everyone around him that he wasn’t the killer soldier that everyone considered him to be, that he was like Steve just another regular guy from Brooklyn. You were one of the first people, besides Steve that made him feel welcomed and saw past his tough exterior to be greeted by someone that just wanted to be accepted by those around him.

Slowly he opened up and was considered part of the team, you thought that everything was fine, but it was times like these that you realized that Bucky was still haunted by whatever Hydra had put him through despite months of being free from their clutches. While he was no longer put through the physical trauma that went on in their facilities, the emotional trauma was still very much evident, and wondered if there was ever going to be a way you can help to mend that pain, but that wasn’t the issue at hand at the moment.

You let out a sigh knowing that Bucky wasn’t going to open up to you, despite how many walls he lowered with you, there were walls that even you couldn’t break and this may be one of them, “I’m not going to force you tell me Bucky, but just know that when I accepted to be with you…I accepted the best and worst of you, nightmares included”, you said tilting his face, lightly caressing his face with the pads of their thumbs, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way, I love you and nothing you tell me can change that,” giving him a smile and hoped that he knew that you were being honest.

Slowly Bucky’s eyes opened, letting you finally see his beautiful blue eyes, but unlike other times when they would be so full of life and happiness, all you could see was the distress he was going through. The phrase ‘eyes are the window to your soul’ rang true with the way his eyes lacked that beautiful shimmer of life. You leaned in pressing a kiss against his lips, and the moment your lips met his, he held you closer, his hand sliding from your back to lightly bury itself in your hair, anchoring himself to you, as if it was the only way he could keep himself sane and rid him of those images that were caused by his night terrors.  

You could feel Bucky’s anguish through his kiss, very few times had he kissed you like this, his kisses usually sweet and ever loving, but right now it seemed desperate and needing of love. He pulled apart resting his forehead against yours, letting him admire you like how he usually does, reminding himself that you were his and here with him.

“The nightmares,” he began, you nodded wanting him to continue, “they are always of you, of you dying and I can’t do anything to stop it,” he finished as his cold hand gripped onto the sheets, mentally preparing himself to tell you the rest.

“Buck, you can’t blame yourself for that, besides I know that you would keep me safe as much as you can,” you reassured him and pressed a kiss against his cheek but felt him stiffen at your words.

“I can blame myself, because in my dreams the reason you end up dying is because of me,“ he stopped so the reality of the words would sink in. "It doesn’t matter how the nightmare goes, I’m always under the control of Hydra and I’m always the one to that causes your death, you don’t know the countless times and ways it happens, and I can never do anything to stop myself, I have to follow whatever orders they give me and because of it, you always…” not wanting to finish that last sentence. “It’s even worse when right after I regain control and realize what I’ve done to you, you don’t know how much those make me cry, and even more when I notice how terrified you are of me. It’s always my fault, always and I’m scared that one day,” needing to take a breath before he starts tearing up again, “I’m scared that one day I may end up hurting you and not as the Winter Soldier.”

“James,” addressing him by his given name to know that you were serious, “you would never hurt me,” reaching for his metal arm and bringing up to your lips, “and like you were said they’re just dreams,” finishing your sentence by placing a small kiss on his cold hand. “Hydra or not, James Buchannan Barnes, you would never hurt me and you want to know why I know that?“ you asked, and he nodded, bringing a warm smile onto your face. “I know that because you always make sure that I’m always safe before you and Steve leave on missions, I know because you always find a way to contact me when your missions take longer than they should, telling me not to worry and to stay safe. I see it when you come back home to me and the first thing you do is tell me how much you missed me and make sure that I’m unharmed. I know it because you always make me a priority when anything goes bad. You wouldn’t hurt me Bucky, and should the Winter Soldier ever take over, I’m going to do everything I can to bring you back,” you said with a smile as you brought his cold metal hand to your cheek, “because I love you and always will and nothing is going to change that,” you finished as you leaned into his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the palm of his hand.

Bucky’s heart was racing against his chest, the tears almost wanting to pour out, but this time not of sadness or the image of your lifeless body but rather because of what you said. Back in the forties he wasn’t used to any female treating him like the way you treat him. Back then women were after him mainly for his looks, he couldn’t afford to open up to them like he had with you, he had a reputation to keep as a suave, proud man, but with you…none of that mattered, he could open up and share his innermost thoughts and knew that you wouldn’t consider him any less of a man if he did, in fact he could recall a few instances when you said it made him more of a man by sharing his emotions.

“I really don’t deserve you,” this time using both his arms to pull you close but still careful, despite you reassuring him that he would never hurt you, he still felt cautious especially after his recent nightmare. He leaned in letting his nose trail up your cheek making the blood underneath feel like fire. Your breath hitched at his sudden affection but didn’t want him to stop.  He pulled you slightly closer, feeling the warmth of his breath against your cheek, “I’m so lucky to have you,” his hand resting on your head pulling you in for a gentle kiss. Bucky let out a small smile when he noticed how flustered you looked and made in his opinion it made you look adorable. He felt a sense of pride knowing that only he could make you flustered and nervous as well as be the only one that can see you like this as well.

You smiled in return knowing that you were cheeks were red but didn’t do anything to hide it as you corrected him, "no, we are both lucky to have each other.”

“You have no idea how much I love you (Y/N),” he smiled, the one he solely reserved for you.

“I think I have an idea,” you said holding his face close tucking a few loose strands behind his ears, and in the process letting out a small yawn that you quickly covered with your hand.

“Think it’s best to get some sleep,” he said as he let out a small laugh.

“For the both of us?” wanting to know if he felt any better to actually fall asleep again.

“For the both of us,” he assured.

He smiled as he leaned to steal one more kiss before falling back with you on top of him, making you laugh in the process before adjusting yourself on the bed and in his arms. You wrapped your arm around his chest and your hand intertwined his, pulling it close to you and you kissed the back of his hand and Bucky brought your intertwined hands to his lips did the same. You smiled up at him, shifting yourself a bit more so your head rested on his chest letting you hear the fast steady beat of his heart that would lull you to sleep in no time.

“I love you, all of you, the good and the bad, just want you to know that” before dozing off into the much needed sleep.

“I know, and I love you too,” he replied but knew that it fell onto deaf ears as he heard your slower relaxed breaths and just smiled to himself as he pressed a kiss on the top of your head.

Bucky held you closer; loving how even in sleep you would lean into him. you were one of a kind and despite you saying that you were lucky to have him as well, when it came down to it, he’s the one that lucked out when he met you. Bucky really hoped that one day he wouldn’t be plagued by the nightmares, and instead he would be welcomed by dreams filled with happiness and wonder, dreams that always would have you smiling and just as in love with him as you were when you were awake. He looked at your sleeping face one more time and with a peaceful smile as he held you close as sleep overtook him once again.


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ok so i this was originally posted on my DA and thought to post it here as well. this was a contest entry on DA so let that be known

let me know what you think may write more on bucky because of most of the MCU he is my fave just because he is the one that needs the most love

Ok, so I know we’re all on the band wagon for getting Sam Winchester a dog, but consider: Sam with a therapy dog. Because at this point, Sam’s been through some pretty significant trauma.

So Sam, who sometimes after being possessed so many times doesn’t always feel at home in his body, would be able to pet through his dog’s fur and remind himself that he’s real, that what he’s experiencing is happening and he’s in control.

Sam, who still wakes up shaking from nightmares, having a fluffy puppy to rest its head on Sam, so he’ll feel safe enough to go back to sleep.

Sam, who’s always felt like he breaks everything he touches, having something to take care of and to look at him like he’s important and trustworthy and good.

Give Sam Winchester a dog.

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Friendly reminder that Theo killed Josh only to bring him back to life again.

Friendly reminder that the Chimera pack was probably as much of a family to him then his real one ever was.

Friendly reminder Theo taught him to control his powers, for defense and as a replacement for the high he felt he needed.

Friendly reminder that he protected Corey in Eichen House even when it would’ve been easier not to.

Friendly reminder that he wanted to leave when Corey and Hayden left and join them.

Friendly reminder he and Tracy probably bonded as no one else knew what it was like to be dead for so long.

Friendly reminder that he only stayed because he didn’t want to leave Tracy alone with Theo.

Friendly reminder he was the first of the Chimeras to experience Theo’s brutality.

Friendly reminder Theo brought him back to life, made him feel part of something special, only to kill him again.

Friendly reminder Tracy looked away and nearly cried when he was killed.

Friendly reminder Josh was only just coming to term with his morals when he died.

Friendly reminder Josh Diaz was not a monster.

That he deserved so much more than what he got.

Friendly reminder to always remember Josh Diaz.

4

11x08 “Just My Imagination”
“Pretend friend. You’re not even real…”

Not going to lie. I teared up during this scene, because damn, I think Nate Torrence (I hope we see him again on the show, because I really really liked him and his character) did a pretty amazing job at delivering the sadness, hurt and worry when he realizes that Sam no longer needs him. And the thing is, Sully imo worked as a Dean mirror the entire episode - even if I may be the only one thinking that way. To me this was basically the turnaround scene to however the scene when Sam decided to go to Stanford must have looked.

While here Sully was trying to support Sam to go off on his own without the hunting life, Sam “rejects” or rather leaves Sully behind to be with his family and choosing hunting and his family over school. I wonder if a few years later Sam remembered this exact moment when he sent off the application letters for college and ultimately when he walked out the door and left his brother behind, who may have felt and looked just as devastated as Sully looks here.

“I don’t need you anymore”, that’s most probably the one catch phrase Dean fears more than anything else to this day. In a way that’s the problem in a nutshell. Sam growing up to Dean meant if he’s not needed, he’s not loved, he’s not worth anything, it’s failing. And well, there you have it again. Dean and Sully having something in common. Aside from the haircut, the love for candy and the “looking out for Sam”. I actually think Dean was so harsh on Sully to a good extent, because he recognized parts of himself in Sully, but saw Sully as the better version of himself who was there for people, was there fore Sam when he wasn’t. Whereas he knows that Sully “doesn’t have a monstrous bone in his body”, he thinks of himself of the opposite - after all it was the jawbone of an animal that turned him into a monster and had him almost kill Sam…

So yes, to me Sully and Dean were mirror characters. That’s not to say they still are also very different people, yet I feel there are more things connecting them than setting them apart. Most of all quite possibly to me the biggest parallel between them is that they both are kids at heart, Peter Pans, so to say.

Daily reminder, Stiles said he never felt more powerful than when he was “possessed” by the Nogitsune

And now what are we seeing? Him feeling particularly weak in some sort of way because he is not being able to make the rest of the people see what he sees.

He is starting to lose everything. First Scott, second Malia (yeah we know they’re gonna be separate because of something), and third and most interesting: his dad. If (what’s his name?) Stile’s dad is gonna have a real thing with Melissa, even when Stiles loves Melissa and Scott is his brother, (we are talking about his mom’s figure being kinda “remove” here from his house) I don’t think he’ll like it at first so all of this will happened at the same moment.

And:

Parallels anyone? Deja vu? Yeah, I think we have seen this before… 

Also, did the Nogitsune really possessed him or Stiles just embraces his very true nature for a while and just blamed the Nogitsune? Remember not all humans can handle werewolves straight like he does or just open doors with his mind, right?.

Confession:  When learning about what Dorian has been up to the past two years and how he’s going back to Tevinter for good after the Council and gives you the crystal, I seriously started to cry. He reminds me so much of my real life BFF who lives far away. It felt too real. I didn’t realize how attached I became to Dorian’s friendship either. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug him tight.

I feel like sam and dean still have very different views on what “home” is to them. Of course the impala will always be their number one “safe place”, but i feel like it changed a bit for dean lately. Dean grew up for 4 years in a real, stable home with a real, “normal” family. He knows and remembers the feeling of having a real place to stay. That’s why he meant the bunker when he said “let’s go home” in 11x04. On the other hand, sam never had a real home. He literally grew up in the impala with john, and mostly dean. He never knew what having a real home felt like and that’s why he feels like the impala is home, since he never knew anything else. Dean feels like the bunker is home now, given that it probably reminds him of his childhood and of what it felt like to have someone you love waiting for you at home. It used to be mary, now it’s cas. Cas is home for dean. And that’s why he always wants to go back.