to our critics (you know who you are)

Y’all seriously need to learn to fact check things you see on here.

1.) it wasn’t Disney who turned down Coco but DREAMWORKS. 
and to those who STILL erroneously insist that Disney/Pixar turned down The Book of Life

2.) People getting mad at this:

Marigolds are traditional to our culture as well as to the holiday, ESPECIALLY in petal form. Not the best example but that’s like getting mad at different Christmas movies for using mistletoe.

3.) “Oh it’s the same plot.” Has anyone looked up the plot for this movie other than outright bashing it from the trailer? 
“The footage, raw though it may be, spun a compelling story about Miguel, a sweet kid who loves music despite the fact that his abuelita banned music long ago, thanks to an ancient drama involving Miguel’s great-great-grandfather—a dashing musician—who walked out on the family. That musician, Miguel discovers at the start of the film, is his town’s most famous son: deceased film star and music supernova Ernesto de la Cruz. On the eve of Día de Muertos, Miguel breaks into de la Cruz’s mausoleum in order to borrow the famous skull guitar that hangs there so that he can enter a talent competition and convince his family to embrace music again. Once Miguel touches the guitar, he becomes something of a living ghost. His family can no longer see him, but Miguel can now see all of his dead ancestors—who look like fantastically decorative skeletons—crossing over a bright bridge made of marigold flower petals from the Land of the Dead. Looking for help and answers, Miguel travels to the Land of the Dead—a dazzlingly vibrant, stacked metropolis inspired by the Mexican city of Guanajuato—himself and sets off an adventure with trickster skeletal companion Hector to find the rest of his family, de la Cruz, and the answer to how he can fix this curse.”  
You know how insistent Pixar is on always making original films. So don’t you think that they would continue that?

4.) “But the white director who thinks he knows everything because he’s been to Mexico.” That’s right, a white person who is not of Mexican/Latinx culture can not truly KNOW our culture simply by visiting it. And Lee Unkrich knows this fact. Which why he assembled a group for the sake of making sure the movie is culturally accurate, rather than him taking on that role

you know, a team of actual latinx. Including someone who was a huge critic of Coco, and is a critic of Disney, Lalo Alcaraz. He is most famously known for his response to the action of Disney attempting to trademark Dia de los Meurtos (which will be our next point). It’s not Alcaraz selling out. It’s him working together with the movie so it’s not just Disney trying to bring in more Latinx fans but rather creating what Unkrich’s true mission: “a love letter to Mexico.” This team along with many other Latinx creatives (like Adrian Molina who was originally just a writer and then promoted to co-director) and a fully latinx cast (again, as insisted by Unkrich), are working together to make it a Latinx piece of media. ( http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/12/pixar-coco-gael-garcia-bernal-dia-de-los-muertos-miguel )

5.) We all know and got rightfully angry at Disney for attempting to trademark Dia de los Muertos. This was due to the similar original name the movie had. As expected, it received intense backlash to which Disney quickly revoked the request to trademark. Unkrich was the first to vocalize that this was a mistake. This even leading to that point most likely has to do with him being a white man not of our culture, but this humbling experience is what really knocked that message into him and he began recruiting people like the ones in the above point to make sure that the movie itself is true to the people, culture, and holiday, in ways he himself could never fully grasp.

6.) It’s about the Day of the Dead like The Book of Life. My response to this is easy: look at how many movies are there about Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine’s day, Saint Patrick’s day, etc.

7.) Gutierrez himself doesn’t want it to be a competition but as two wonderful films about one aspect of Latinx that will hopefully lead to more in the future.

I love The Book of Life, and is one of my favorite movies if I’m being honest. When it first came out I was filled with such pride and joy for many reasons. One of course for it being a gorgeously rendered film, but for it being such a positive and beautiful representation and celebration of Mexico. As someone who grew up only seeing white main characters, with people like my family and I as only side characters, it brings me such joy to see more media being produced in which Mexicans are the focus along with our culture (which is agreeably much more diverse than what is being tapped into). We still got a long way to go as Mexico is still only one group of Latinx culture, but we are witnessing the stepping stones of Hollywood beginning to reach out and representing this community by working with people of those cultures. The Book of Life will always have a special place in my heart, but I’m not letting my love of that movie keep me from supporting Latinx creators that are putting out Coco. I’m finally getting the representation that I craved as a kid and loving it.

2

THE QURAN TEACHES US TO BE OPTIMISTIC

I always find myself questioning the things I do, even if I was the one who opted to do it from the beginning. I frequently ask myself whether I’m doing the right thing. Whether there’s any good in the things I choose to put myself in. The school I go to, the activities I join, the events I attend, the friends I choose to keep. Are my decisions going to benefit my future or are they just a waste of time? I wonder if I’m really doing anything right these days. You see, I have always had this fear in me. This fear I can’t specifically explain. I often am afraid if I make the wrong choices, especially when I have to make big important life decisions. What if my plans don’t work out? Who will I be in 10 years? Will I ever really figure it out?

I hate self-doubt. You know when they say we are our own biggest critics, they’re hella right.

Sometimes, the plans that I have for myself, are not exactly the plans that Allah has for me. I get myself in a relationship, and it ends tragically. I take up a course I thought I’m good at, and later fail miserably. I apply for a scholarship, but then find out I was rejected. I plan to graduate on time, but got sick and am told to defer my studies. All these circumstances, it all leads to self-doubt. Will I ever be good enough for anything?

A few days ago, I was reading Surah Al-Kahf and stumbled upon a verse that struck a chord with me. It was so beautiful I made it my phone’s wallpaper lol. The verse goes:

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَىٰ أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَٰذَا رَشَدًا 

“Except “if Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget & say “May my Lord guide me to what is right” (18:24)

Perfect timing. This verse isn’t only a do’a but also a statement of optimism. “Asa” according to the arabic language is a verb used to express hope. Subhanallah, Allah is teaching us that the most fundmental thing we need is His guidance. He is teaching us that in the end, He knows best what is good for us and all we have to do is give our best in the things we do. The rest is Allah’s job. I learnt that if we do what is good, our effort will never go to waste, even if things don’t turn out the way we want it. Our compensation is with Allah. 

The verse screams optimism. It says “when you forget” because whenever something bad/failure befalls us, we tend to lose hope. We are bound to feel lost & confused. Been there a lot of time. So this powerful verse is telling us ‘no, don’t give up, hang in there and ask Allah to guide you’. He created us, He created the stars and the universe, so He definitely knows what is best for us. Whatever happens yesterday, stays there. If we have failed in the past, that failure should not dictate our future. 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999)

So I guess we will never really have all the answers, but it’s perfectly okay, What we do know is that we can always ask Allah to guide us to what’s the best for us.

As long has we put our trust in him, we are in good hands.

Stop constructing “lanes.” We can and should criticize sexism worldwide.

As usual, this post is primarily addressed to Western liberal feminists. I have noticed that one of your favorite lines that you smugly try and pass for discourse is “stay in your lane.” Men somewhere in the world are oppressing women somewhere in the world and when another person starts to criticize, you try to silence her with this “lane” nonsense.

Here’s the thing: Sexism and patriarchy don’t have a lane. They don’t have a culture. They are part of every culture, every place, and every system worldwide.

My oppression as a woman in Iraq has the same material problem as oppression of women in the United States, France, Argentina, China, Uganda, any society on this earth: male violence. The root of our problems is the same root and we will not solve any of these problems without pulling up that root.

You act like you’re some kind of progressive by silencing other Western women who talk about other cultures’ issues, but really you’re denying that all of our issues are rooted in the same oppression, and that is Western exceptionalism. You’re saying that your issues are worth public criticism but ours must be framed in ways that appeal to your moral senses or they should be silenced.

Global patriarchy is every woman’s “lane” because it’s literally global. I am allowed to criticize male violence anywhere in the world because I see a different manifestation of the same problems in my own life.

Sexism doesn’t have a culture. (Nor does racism, classism, homophobia, etc.) It exists in every culture in the world. For this reason, we cannot equate criticisms of sexism to criticisms of cultures because criticizing sexism criticizes every culture. (Or one global culture that we all share.) If you honestly believe that sexism is definitely wrong (which I do) then why are you silencing criticism of sexism?

Ask yourselves: Why are you so afraid of offending somebody’s “culture” by criticizing patriarchy? There can really only be one reason. Your feminism just appeals to men.

If our cultures can’t stand on their own without sexism, then what even are they? I love my culture. I love speaking Arabic and Assyrian. I love our folk music. I love our political novels and films. And I could still love all of this without sexism in our culture. Culture doesn’t exist in a snow globe. It is meant to change.

So are you actually going to let people defend sexism with “it’s our culture”? It’s everyone’s culture! And if we recognize that it’s wrong, we should criticize it! Just like we should criticize racism, classism, and homophobia wherever we find them. If you prioritize “protecting culture” over criticizing sexism, then you prioritize the feelings of men over the actual lives of women. And you aren’t a feminist.

I know I talk about listening to Middle Eastern women too, and I stand by that. You can and should listen to our stories, our thoughts, and our criticisms. And you can and should amplify our voices and offer your own criticisms of sexism, because sexism affects you too.

Issues with more attention usually get more support. People can’t support women in developing countries if they don’t know our struggles, and we cannot spread awareness if other women who discuss these issues are silenced. Western voices and media outlets have the most influence worldwide, so why are you stopping people from using them?

There is a difference between talking over someone and empathizing with her experience and offering meaningful criticisms. Talking over someone is a silencing tactic because you’re telling a woman not to talk about her lived experiences because you must know better. Listening to us, having a dialogue, and criticizing sexism together is productive and it’s the exact opposite of silencing. Stop trying to conflate the two.

You have an extremely low opinion of women from developing countries if you believe that criticizing how sexism manifests in our cultures is patronizing us. Do you think we don’t know what sexism is? Do you think we don’t also have indigenous feminist movements? Do you think we haven’t been trying to bring attention to these issues? 

It’s true that sometimes Westerners use sexism and homophobia in places like the Middle East as justifications for their own bigotry against Middle Eastern people. Again, if you honestly believe that racism, xenophobia, or imperialism are wrong, then you don’t need to dance around cultural sensitivities to make your point. The thing about inalienable human rights is that you don’t have to earn them.

Half of people in developing countries are women and you can advocate for our liberation in all countries of the world at the same time. Wow! There’s a massive difference between acknowledging how sexism manifests in some cultures and saying we’re savages who should be confined to dangerous war zones.

Stop dividing women. We are in this together. Sexism is wrong in every context and every culture and we are allowed to criticize it wherever and whenever we find it.

anonymous asked:

I've seen several photos portraying Japanese girl gangs fighting in long pleated skirts. how viable of an outfit is this in terms of combat?

I’m going to avoid talking about the cultural context for the skirts, which there is and just focus on the practicality.

The answer to any question involving combat is “it depends”, and when we talk about an article of clothing that is dependent on that specific article of clothing. It also depends on the kind of combat you plan to have your character engaging in. Street brawls are very different from armored melee. If your character is a female soldier, she’ll be dressing according to whatever regulations her military has (that could involve a skirt for dress uniforms, but battle and dress are different).

There is no “one-size fits all” approach as the field of battle matters, the kind of opponent matters, the skill level of all parties involved matters, context matters. What your intentions are matter.

They all factor into the decision making process. What you need to do when looking at articles of clothing and trying do decide if it’s a yes or no is learn to think from the internal perspective of someone who would actually be engaging in physical conflict. If you’re thinking of someone heading into a dangerous situation where they couldn’t outwardly look like they were expecting trouble then the question is: if you expected to be caught and forced to fight, what kind of clothing would you prefer to be caught in?

It starts with you and we work our way out from there as you learn more about the conditional nature of combat. When it comes to Hollywood, the irony is that most of the clothing male action heroes wear will work for basic street combat whereas the clothing for women won’t. Would you want to be hunting monsters through the sewers in six inch heels? Probably not.

For what the girl gangs are doing, it works. In fact, it works better than a miniskirt or any other tight clothing common for women in the US or the leather bondage outfits you often see women fighting in on television. You’ll still see women in the real world wear those. Not because it works, mind you, but because they’re afraid they won’t be perceived as feminine, sexy, or attractive. They overcompensate in the wrong direction, the same way Hollywood and media do, and for the exact same reasons.

Sometimes, people make choices that have nothing to do with what’s appropriate or what works. Sometimes, they’re trying to balance between societal expectations, cultural mores, gender constraints, and what they’re trying to accomplish. Sometimes they’re trying to be outside the box and inside the box at the same time. And, sometimes, they can get away with it. What they’re doing and who they’re fighting means they’ve a greater margin for error, versus someone faced with an enemy where they need every advantage they can get.

What you want, especially with street fighting, is freedom of movement.

This is why you often see tank tops or very loose fitting shirts on military personnel. If you’ve got a shirt that fits tightly around the shoulders, that’ll impede your movement, restrict the rotation of the shoulder. If you’re pants are too tight or limit flexibility, then that slows you down and will limit how high you can kick, how well your leg moves, etc.

You want durable clothing.

Clothing that protects you in a fall or when you’re rolling around on the ground. If you can’t see it absorbing impact or protecting you from scrapes when you hit the earth, then it isn’t a good pick.

You want clothes that breathe.

Combat is a high energy exercise, it’s frenetic, it’s fast, and it takes a lot of exertion. If you’ve ever brought the wrong kind of clothing when you’re going jogging or watched makeup melt off girls in P.E. class then you know what I’m talking about. Clothes that cause you to overheat, that don’t allow the heat to escape your body, that you can’t run or sprint in, will actively do you harm in a fight. By participating in exercise with a high energy output, you are already heating up your body. (This is part of why we sweat, we’re cooling our body down.) The hotter you get, the faster you burn through your water. The hotter you get, the faster you reach a point of critical exhaustion which will get you killed.

However, “what works” for combat is heavily dependent on the kind of combat your character plans to (or potentially might) engage in. The rules change based on what you’re doing, what you need, what the chances of success are, who the enemy is, the terrain you’re fighting on.

There’s also the other side, beyond practicality, which is you know, cultural expectations and considerations. How your character feels about gender norms, whether they care about being perceived as feminine or masculine, whether they care about expectations, whether they’re vain, or willing to get themselves killed over fashion.

There’s also the part in fiction where how someone is dressed becomes an indicator for how serious the situation is/threat level is. That’s a visual tell you see used often in film and television.

Remember, skill and experience don’t free you from the same constraints that affect other characters. They just mean your character can make more intelligent choices based on what they know. They can get away with more, but it will still catch up to them in the end.

So, be Helen Mirrim in R.E.D. and take out armed gunmen with a reinforced clutch and the element of surprise.

Try thinking about the situation from the perspective of the character involved rather than overall generic rules. Practicality changes on a situational basis, and there are plenty of people who will go Rule of Cool in real life. This is especially true of gangs, where efficacy loses out to intimidation.

People are people. All the factors going into a decision may not be the ones you expect or are looking for.

-Michi

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The Show must go on

((Okay, so @doodledrawsthings got me interested in hell’s au, and then the subject of mortality came to be. Then @kitkat1003 wrote an amazing fic, and well… this happened)) . . . .

Dear Bendy,

I guess it wouldn’t have been long before Joey and I would kick the bucket. Who would have guessed 70 years in the studio would go by so quickly am I right?

Anyway, I guess this is just a bit of a sendoff before Joey and I take our dirt nap. If by some miracle by God you start getting a sick feeling in your stomache, excessive ink overflow, or wanting to lay in bed for all eternity and contemplate your existence, then just think of this as revenge for trying to drown me in ink on that Thursday those years ago.

So yes, surprise! People die for real here. It’s a damn slow, natural thing we do, a thing we can’t control. No one lasts forever in this world no matter how hard we try to make them last. So you’ll probably think, “Henry! You sicko! Why the hell are you so nonchalant about this?!” I won’t say anything or course, because you know, I’ll be dead.

And besides, you always said that I was a sort of moody guy. I guess you finally rubbed off on me after all these years.
But hey boss, chin up, here comes the better part. We may not last forever, but you, Boris, Alice, everyone else, you guys sure will.

Now you’re probably getting mad at Joey for making you this way right? Even I still think he’s insane for doing what he did, but after this experience I have realized some virtues in his work. Bendy, you’re a legacy. The people of this world know that one day they’re all going to die. Some like me and Joey accept it, but keep on hoping. But there are others who know it, but they’ve given up all hope. They forget how to laugh and enjoy their time here because they don’t see the point.

That’s where you and the gang come in. When Me and Joey drew you, we wanted to make you all into someone everyone would love. You’d make them laugh, cry, even get scared when you try to drown them in a flood of ink and suffering (I’m never letting this go, not over my dead body). Because what you do reminds them that despite it all, life can be fun.

Wipe that ink off your face bucko, you’re only halfway through the sentiment.

This is for Boris. In case you’re still wondering who’s a good boy, well, I’ve got the answer buddy. It was you all along.
Keep swinging that clarinet of yours like there’s no tomorrow, because you never know when someone’s gonna need some cheering up from a certain good boy. (It’s still you, you loveable pup) Don’t worry about us okay buddy? We’ll be fine. Just make sure Bendy doesn’t cause too much trouble alright?

Now for Alice, who knows, maybe you will end up as popular as Bendy some day (I said might Bendy, don’t get all huffy). In the meantime, keep those boys in line as much as you can. They need you more than they think they do. And remember to tell Boris to turn off the system after recording, no one likes hearing Wally singing “Dancin’ Queen” acapella.

And finally, we’d like to thank you all for bieng our crew. Thank you for the laughs, the pick-me-ups, the random dances, the naggy critics, even the times you tried to drown us in ink. But most importantly, thank you for bieng our legacy. You made our dreams come true, now go on and make everyone else’s do the same.

Goodbye, kiddo.

Your creators and friends,

Joey and Henry.

President George W. Bush to President Barack Obama

Jan. 20, 2009

Dear Barack,

Congratulations on becoming our President. You have just begun a fantastic chapter in your life.

Very few have had the honor of knowing the responsibility you now feel. Very few know the excitement of the moment and the challenges you will face.

There will be trying moments. The critics will rage. Your “friends” will disappoint you. But, you will have an Almighty God to comfort you, a family who loves you, and a country that is pulling for you, including me. No matter what comes, you will be inspired by the character and compassion of the people you now lead.

God bless you.

Sincerely,

GW

2

You are deserving of your own love. I know it can be tough. Criticism, bullshit, doubt and fear - they are formidable foes. They hide in the back of our brains and hearts, and work tirelessly to chip away at us. But they become powerless when we give some genuine heart space to ourselves. When we recognize the sheer perfection of our imperfection. When we realize that the sum total of our successes and our failures are what makes us who we are. And that all of it has value. So go ahead. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say, “Hey You. Yeah you. This body and mind I am housed in. You’re fucking awesome. And I love you.

anonymous asked:

nevermind my last ask lol "the right way to hunt" kys you disgusting animal hating creep. they did nothing to deserve to die.

Just posting this as an example. Please read through this and try to have an open mind. People have different ways of viewing the world. That’s totally ok. Some people hate hunting, and on the other end some are really obnoxious when it comes to hunting. But, from a biological and wildlife management standpoint, things are going to die awful deaths constantly no matter what. To ignore how cruel nature really is is to ignore reality. This doesn’t make it morally right to hunt or to abstain from hunting, it just boils down to a personal opinion. Wildlife is literally always considering that they are going to die and we can see this in their fecundity. When a frog lays a couple thousand eggs in a sitting, it’s doing so because it knows 95% of their offspring is a snack. Rabbits are similar. Deer, wild turkey, and other commonly hunted animals are almost solely funded (in management and scientific studies) by hunting dollars. Wild turkey was actually extinct for a period in NY before hunting funded a complete reintroduction of the species. That’s not me trying to make hunting seem great, it’s just a fact.

Right now hunting is significantly more environmentally friendly than eating farmed animals. Not to mention that even if you are completely vegan, when vegetable farmers harvest crops with machines they’re killing any creatures in that field. Skunks, rabbits, mice, snakes, raccoons, even bedding fawns are frequently killed when tractors harvest crops. Especially when it comes to corn and wheat raking. Even to plant large vegetable fields is taking away and fragmenting natural habitat. You can just never really know the entire journey your food is making unless it’s being harvested yourself. If you only garden and collect wild edibles then you’re about as guilt free as you can get, but that’s a nearly impossible lifestyle to keep year round. I will not criticize you for being vegan or abstaining from meat, because who am I to say what’s right and what’s wrong.

John is literally obtaining a phd in wildlife science, so based on our shared education what’s right for us is a hunter gatherer lifestyle. We don’t trophy hunt, and we eat almost everything down to the organs. I’m not just going out into the woods with a thirst for blood or just to have something on my wall. We harvested two deer last season and since have not bought an ounce of meat otherwise. The only protein we buy regularly is fish and even then we opt for bottom of the food chain fish to avoid large bioaccumulaters when possible.

Deer are especially overpopulated in our area. The problem with an overpopulation of deer is the spread of CWD (chronic wasting disease), which is extremely contagious and debilitating. In order to avoid massive population destroying diseases like that the Department of Environmental Conservation calculates a healthy amount of population to be removed through hunting. If CWD is found to be present DEC will literally send sharp shooters out to lower the population and continue testing. Geese are also extremely over populated in our area so DEC must literally put oil on goose eggs in the nest (killing the baby without the parents noticing so they don’t re-lay) to control the population.

My point is, death really is a requirement to maintain a healthy population. In places that are really lacking predators, like where I live, wildlife populations are prone to disease and starvation from too large of a population. At some point nature will take care of overpopulation. The risk of letting nature take its course (when predators are absent) is the spread of diseases that can last 5+ years just in the soil or overgrazing to the point of mass starvation. Too sheer of a drop in one population creates a domino effect among others, and eventually leads to mass death that may take years and years to recover from.

Like I said, I am not going to claim my lifestyle is better than yours or anyone else’s. I am very welcoming if you’d like to speak with me privately about your concerns and promise to be open and honest. Let’s have this conversation instead of just being mad at each other, ok? I’m sure at the very least we can find some middle ground!

chuggyvanessa  asked:

How do you stay motivated when people drags you down ? My father was a good artist but he always makes my art being like shit... Well not only my art he treats me like one... and i never improve, im always scared to draw stuff i cant... do you have some advices ? Tips ?... something That could help me or others in this situation ?

Hi! To be honest, there is rarely any family who would support your artist carrier from the get-go. If any of you have that family, please go up to them and tell them you love them. Now here is the thing: a lot of parents don’t know “How” to support their artist child. And to everyone’s surprise, they think being harsh on you is the best support, thinking that if you can’t even stand this, there is no chance for you to survive in the actual professional industry. But here is one thing that a lot of parents miss out, every artists are super insecure inside, especially as a student. We get critics on our 5 day paintings and 8 hour drawings 24/7 and will keep comparing ourselves to those who we look up to. Most of us are already super harsh on ourselves. But guess what, they will never know until you tell them. Have a conversation time with your parents, tell them that what you need is someone who will fully support you, encourage you on your path and that it hurts to get negative feedback(different from constructive advice) from those who you love the most.

My family, who are very supportive now, has gone through similar things. And I had times when I had to hide my drawings under my text books because my parents thought I wasn’t doing my homework and all I do is drawing comic book characters(although I always did art after I finished my homework and got A in every classes I took). Their words very often hurt my feeling as an artist but we all learned and taught each other how to make things work out.  Let them know that it hurts, tell them that all you need to hear is: “Good job, keep on going. We are all here right behind you.” And that this alone will give you so much power and confidence to march on.

Battling Insecurity

The biggest demon of most musicians is a feeling of insecurity. It’s the creeping (or blatant) suspicion that you are literally the worst musician in the world — or at least nowhere near as good as you “should” be. It can also manifest as the idea that you’re going to: get laughed at by your peers, be a complete failure at everything you ever attempt, be revealed as a fraud, find out everyone is just humoring you, find out that your doubters were right, end up completely destitute and have to live in a cave, or possibly just spontaneously die the next time you have to perform. It turns out that all of these worries are 99.999% of the time completely baseless. No, you are not that 0.001 percent case where these thoughts are accurate. Bassoonist Georg, who has never actually touched a bassoon and likes living in caves, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

The thing is that everyone feels like this, at least sometimes. I myself have, at the time of writing, complained at two different people a total of four times in the past week that I am going to end up living in a cave in the North Woods because no one will ever want to pay me for anything because I Suck. This is objectively not true. (You bought this book after all.) It may be a cliche, but there is a lot of truth to the thought that we are our own worst critics. There is no one else out there who knows your musical intent. If your trill doesn’t sound the way it did in your head, you are the only person who knows. Everyone else will think approximately this: “Hey, that was a trill. Cool.” If they’re especially persnickety, they might add “That was a little (better/worse) than when (you/someone else) sang a similar trill.” I don’t think there is a person out there who specifically goes to listen to a performance and thinks “This is awful and this performer is awful,” because most people are very nice. You are the only person there who thinks that you suck.

There are ways to battle insecurity, of course. Every performer develops a set of techniques to reaffirm their own self-worth, to calm themselves down, and essentially talk themselves down from the tree their anxiety has them hiding up. However, trial and error can take a long time, and you are going to need your self-esteem shored up a lot in the next year. With that in mind, here are suggestions from performers in college and beyond for how to manage insecurity.
Focus on things you’ve improved in the past year. When you start to worry about how obviously you’re no good and no one will ever want to listen to you etc. etc. etc., take a deep breath, then list three things you’ve improved in your playing in the past year. You have definitely improved at LEAST three, if not eight or nine aspects of your playing. Be as broad or as specific as you wish. This is about you acknowledging that you have grown and gotten better, so you choose the things on which to focus.
Listen to old recordings of yourself. If you absolutely CANNOT think of a SINGLE THING you’ve improved on in the past year (really? Not even your ability to play a single piece?), then go and listen to recordings of yourself from years ago. Find something you performed in when you were a freshman in high school (or, if you’re a freshman, see if you can find stuff from elementary school!). Go and listen to it, as critically as you can. It will probably make you cringe. That’s a good thing. Know why?
It’s because it shows you how much you’ve grown since then. If you fast-forward ten years from now, as long as you have kept playing, I can guarantee that future-you will listen to recordings of current-you with that same kinda cringey feeling. Because, in ten years, you will have improved so much that your current playing will be unrecognizable. And you will be proud.
Remember that the goal is improvement, not perfection. Music is not a race. Music is not a competition. Music is an art for self-fulfillment and self-expression. Perfection is impossible. Being “the best” is also impossible - there are seven billion people on Earth (and six in space (I checked!)). There’s always going to be someone out there who has practiced a little longer, or harder, or started earlier, or whose fingers are just a little closer to the perfect shape for your instrument. Your goal, then, should be to improve your own self - no comparisons to others, nothing like that.
Remember everyone comes from a different background. That person who sits to you in your ensemble, the one you’re envious of? You can’t know everything about their life. Maybe their parents started them on their instrument at age three. Maybe they haven’t gone out on the weekend in a year and a half because they practice then, or because they work to make up for not working during their practice time during the week. They could have a buttload of debt because of outside lessons. There’s no way to know what advantages or tradeoffs they’ve had to get where they are.
Once you’re at a certain point in life, there’s no way to add something to your life without sacrificing something else that you also like. If someone else practices X amount hours more a week then you do, then they spend X amount less doing something valuable to you - work, sleep, other homework, socializing, recharging, etc. They may simply have different priorities than you, and that’s okay.
Shut down the voice that compares people. Comparing yourself to someone else does nothing for you. Really. Unless you’re actively studying someone’s technique for educational purposes, comparing yourself to that 5th year senior, or that incredible freshman, does nothing for you. When you notice yourself doing the comparison thing, just shut it off. Practice rebuffing that voice.
“Sarah plays really well, yes. When I’ve played as long as she as, I’ll be better than I am now, too!”

Or!

“That freshman plays really well - I’m glad they had the opportunities they did.”

If all else fails, just look at these other people as motivation. Aspire to be as good as them, and use that to fuel your own practice. Just don’t let it spiral into beating yourself up. You’re worth more than that.
Directors have a vision. If you don’t match that vision, it’s not a personal failing.This is specifically in regards to auditions or chair seatings. Every musician has a different style and different technical abilities, and that’s okay. Sometimes your skill in a certain area may be amazing, but your tone just doesn’t match the rest of an ensemble. Or your sight-reading is great, but the director prefers someone else’s musical interpretation. That’s okay. There are ensembles where sight-reading is super important, and where your tone matches perfectly. You just have to find them, and you will eventually.
Make sure to take care of yourself. You can’t practice as efficiently if you’re sick. You can’t improve as much when you’re always exhausted. Trust me - due to an immune system that works about as well as a mall cop, I’ve spent on average eight weeks a school year feeling absolutely gross. I had to take an incomplete with my private teacher the first semester of my senior year of college, because I was so ill I could barely phonate (mono is a big ball of suck).
I’ve been better overall, however, since I started scheduling my sleep and food and socialization times. My calendar has nine hours of sleep scheduled in every night, I have phone calls and coffee dates with my best friends penciled in every week, and food is as regular as clockwork. Why? Because it prevents that nauseous, exhausted feeling of sleepwalking through a ten hour day. Hard days still happen, of course. However, I don’t spend nearly as much time cajoling myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other anymore. Instead, I’m awake, engaged, and able to complain about things other than how tired I am. Progress!
Read up on Impostor Syndrome. Impostor Syndrome is when your brain’s resident jerkwad is constantly suggesting everyone you know is about to find out you’re a fraud. Who cares about any auditions you’ve successfully done. Who cares how good a grade you got last week. The jerkwad yells that you’re faking everything you’ve ever done, and people are going to figure that out, and then you’re going to end up living under a bridge and charging people tolls to cross it, and then they’ll figure out you aren’t even really a troll, and then you’re going to have join me in the cave in the North Woods and eat beetles and moss.
That jerkwad is a liar. Even I haven’t ended up in the North Woods yet, and I’m pretty sure I should list “Can BS Real Well” on my resume under Skills. You are a real musician - after all, you play music! That’s it. That’s all that’s required to call yourself a musician. I promise.

Hey there guys, this is Kae. 

Let me make it clear before you read on that this post is not McHanzo related so to speak, but it is fandom related. I just got back online after a three day long mental breakdown, and I want to talk about some things. It’s gonna be a long one.

The most important thing I want to talk about is this fandom. Before Friday, when I had the first breakdown of many last weekend due to real life stuff, there was a lot going on here and building up here. Nothing out of the ordinary for me and Lynn– some people treated us badly, we responded, and suddenly there was a witch-hunt in the tag for us. Happens all the time, no big deal, usually.

But it is a big deal to me right now. Why is that not out of the ordinary for me and Lynn? Why are we used to people treating us this way, acting as if every word we speak has to be scrutinised, or as if we need to act in a way that suits everyone, or not act at all?

I want the people who think this way of us to read these words carefully: We Are Not A Service. 

We are not an official blog. We represent no one but ourselves, and we never claimed otherwise. We are just two human beings running a blog and trying to have a good time with a community who shares our interest.

Yet every time we try to do something, spanning as far back as when we brought in the Artist and Author directory or the Spotify playlist, we see hate in the tag here, or on twitter, or sent to us anonymously, because we’ve apparently done something wrong. 

Now, sometimes, when we know the source, we know what the real issue is. But if all we see is people insulting myself and Lynn as people because of the way we’ve said something or worded something, or because we acted in a way somebody didn’t like and word travels from person to person that we’re suddenly horrible, we can’t possibly know how to respond.

I had a talk with someone today who had some things about myself and Lynn miscommunicated to them by other people, who probably heard from someone else, etc, etc. When I heard what their grievances were with us and I helped clear up where they were wrong and where they were right, I feel like it was a good conversation. This person learned something about who we really are as people, and I got some constructive criticism rather than mindless hate. 

The things to be learned from that conversation are, first of all, that you can always approach me and Lynn if you have some constructive criticism. Don’t assume that someone else has and that we’ve just ignored them. I can tell you that 100% of the time thus far, we need input, because nobody just comes straight up and tells us, “Hey, I think you could do this better this way,” or something. 

Secondly, do not believe everything you hear about us. This person today heard a weird rumour that people who ship certain other ships (such as McReyes, in this case) were not going to be allowed in our McHanzo Zine. I don’t even know where that rumour came from– I ship McReyes myself, why would I do that? If you’ve heard something and you’re worried, just ask us. 

The third, learned not only by that conversation, but by my entire experience running this blog, is to try to remember that me and Lynn are just people. We have feelings, we’re not all-knowing, we’re not perfect. We do not always know if there’s a problem unless you tell us. We get things wrong sometimes and we are 100% capable of owning that and improving. Please, please don’t assume that we do not care. We see all tagged hate both here and on Twitter because we check the tags for content. It hurts when it’s personal. 

I am just getting pretty tired, my friends, which is why I’m making this post. These last few days, when I tried to come online to escape what’s happening in my life right now, all I came back to was hate, drama, and more hate, and a lot of it very personally directed at us as people. I was this close to quitting this blog, dropping the Zine, deleting Discord, etc. But then I remembered that I used to have so much fun doing this, I really did. It isn’t fun right now, and I mean that when I say it. But it can be again sometime. 

I know some of what I’m feeling has something to do with the fact that my mental health is literally in the drain right now because of things in my life, but the fact that I care about this blog has not helped, because that makes it hurt even more when the personal attacks come in.

But yeah, in summary– yes, we fuck up. No, we are not always aware of it, because we are human beings and no one is perfect. People rarely bring it to our attention when we do, and instead they complain and tag hate, which spreads, and creates an impression of us as people that others begin to think is true. This can be solved by just talking to us. 

I really mean it. Just talk to us, cause I promise you we are listening.

Transcript Liam’s Quest 2 Twitch 4:14:14 Act 3: Perchance to Dream

WIP
WARNING: possible trigger around suicidal thinking

This is one of the single greatest works of art I’ve ever witnessed. For me, it his harder and nearer to the mark of showing, describing the worst demons of depression than even William Styron’s famous, “Darkness Visible.” I kept finding myself rubbing at the scars on my wrist. There is so, so much I want to say. But it’s past 9 am PST. I’ll ramble a little, then catch a couple hours of sleep. I’ve been up all night watching this, processing it, and transcribing it.

 This was an emotional trust fall. The players had to trust Liam, Liam had to trust the players. We had to trust all of them not to let us hit the ground when they made us fall. It’s harder to give that trust when you’ve hit that ground before. Trusting strangers not to drop your heart is never easy, mostly not wise. But I’ve been falling a lot the last couple years, and Critical Role keeps catching me even when don’t want to be caught anymore, so I guessed they earned that trust from me.

On the Wednesday Club 2017-04-19, Taliesin cheekily said, “I know some people don’t believe in ‘subtext;’ I have met them. … I’d have a metaphor, but they wouldn’t understand it. … Subtext is the reason we make movies, and comics, and all that. Subtext is just kind of the whole point.” And he said, “Anybody can do a jump scare. A bottle of soda well shaken can do a jump scary. These things are not difficult.” Act 1 and Act 2 tonight were jump-scares, if very well done ones. They were scary, but fun. We grinned at the idea of the monsters out there. And then Liam got quiet, and he showed us the most fucking terrifying thing possible: watching someone you love to suffer, not wanting to lose them, and feeling terrified that there’s nothing you can do to stop it. All the cyberpunk trappings were just means to a deeper metaphor. The sort of deeper subtext you have to use to say something we have no words for and most people don’t have the concepts for. Subtext was kind of the whole point of this great art.

Amanda Liensaid, “An exploration in fiction doesn’t mean a direct window into real life. I mean, you can be looking through some thick glass, but the window isn’t OPEN. And that’s an important distinction to keep in mind. … [S]ometimes you explore your own shit in some other, deeper, shit. And that’s cool. 'Cause you give yourself a way to cope.” This was a nightmare, like the other two acts. Remember that this was a nightmare that we woke up from. Admittedly after it had scared the piss out of us. But we woke up out of it, and that’s so important. Because you know what that nightmare looks like when you don’t know when or if it will end? It feels like it’ll never end and it’ll just get worse. Which means this is the nightmare of someone who knows you do wake up. And that’s important subtext, too.

I spent a lot of time tonight thinking of the friend I lost to suicide in high school. I never lost my anger at his tormenter, his former friends, for destroying such a bright and happy boy for being gay. I thought about all the people I’ve fought for tooth and nail not to lose since. I thought about when my best friend told me giving her a place to stay away from her abusive relative saved her life. If she hadn’t gotten hold of me that night she’d be dead. I thought about another best friend who I’ve been holding back from the brink for months. Letting him talk, harrying him to get help, sending him everything I good, ever description I could muster from my own near-fatal spiral to help him gage where he really was. Tell him wasn’t okay, but that was alright. He’s getting help, he’s getting better. I thought about the friend-of-a-friend who killed himself. I never knew him; he killed himself long before I met my friend. But I know her pain. All these years later, and she still talks about her pain of losing someone to that demon. She’s moved away now. His marker is in my favorite part of my favorite cemetery. Sometimes, when I know I’m going there, I bring him a flower from my scrabbly garden and tell him his friend still misses him terribly. That she loved him. That she forgives him.

One of the people I was watching with I met at my second high school. We were very close then. My last year, she gave me the leather-bound 50th anniversary edition of “Lord of the Rings” because that book saved me. Taped to the red binding page is her note, “Happy birthday! I really can’t express how grateful I am to you for being my friend, and helping me be a happier person every day! You have always cheered me up when I was sad, and you were honestly the first person to accept me for who I am. I am so glad that you are my friend, and I hope this book will help you remember me for a long time. –R.” She drew herself as an elf on the lower right corner. Time and distance separated us. We didn’t talk for years, really. At some point, you think, what could I say to bridge this distance? But I never forgot her. I never stopped looking at that note when I felt like a piece of shit. And then we both on our own fell in love with Critical Role. It brought us back together as friends, time and distance be damned. And that’s been such a gift.

I wrote a four-paragraph letter to my Facebook friends (very curated). I said, “My dear friends, especially those who are prone to hurting: I will not willingly leave you. When you feel like you’re drowning in the garbage pit of Star War IV, with a tentacled horror warped around your leg pulling you under, know I will not leave you. I’m here, blaster ready, stomping heel ready, to fight for you.” And so on. I should have told them that a long time ago. Sometimes we forget that we can just say it. We don’t have to hint at it. We can just tell our friends we really love them. We can just say, “I’d rather stay by your side and curb stomp that motherfucking demon of yours, shoot it repeatedly until the walls close in on both of us.”

The purpose of art is to shed the light of understanding on that which is hardest to see. For some, that is a brighter light shining on something we already see, and don’t want to. A scar is just a disfigurement if we never stop to give it meaning. You have to look at it to decide what meaning that is for you. I’ve been a wreck again for the last month. Tonight, Critical Role helped me see not just the disfigurements on my wrist and soul, but the hands of all my friends gently laid over them as they tell me, “Hey, it’s okay. We’re still here. You’re not getting rid of us. There is no better world without you in it.” It was a light hitting gold I didn’t know was there. A light to remind me of the lights in the darkness, when all other lights go out.



If you like this transcript, please consider volunteering or donating to Critical Role Transcripts, @CRTranscript, to help them provide closed captioning to Critical Role. We’d like to share this wonderful show with as many people as possible, regardless of hearing ability or English language skills.

Transcript method notes: http://otdderamin.tumblr.com/post/153539301510/a-note-on-my-transcription-method


Scene runs: Twitch 4:14:14 to Twitch4:48:25 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/136988353


[DM] Liam: “You continue on, and after a few more minutes. The darkness starts to fade away, or lower. And you realize you’re climbing up a hill, in a tunnel glass, and as the dark, with each passing step, recedes slightly, slightly, slightly. This is taking a while, but over time, you start to see, out beyond the glass, what looks like your memories of Los Angeles, if you were looking down from Mulholland Drive. But instead of the twinkling golden lights of LA, you see thousands of scattered, sickly greenish lights dotting the darkened landscape as far as you can see. And also, unlike LA, you make out twisted, irregular, blackish spires pushing up into the sky, and the same green lights sort of irregularly mottled up the side of them.”

“You walk for twenty more minutes, climbing, climbing, and just seeing… this ill-looking shimmer… that reminds you so much of the valley. And eventually, some change. You see an arch ahead, and through it some sort of larger chamber, as best you can tell.”

[Character] Ashley, whispered: “What’s in the chamber?”

[Character] Taliesin, whispered: “Quietly.”

[Character] Sam, whispered: “Let’s go. Let’s go.”

[Character] Matt, gesturing: “Rigel’s first.”

[Character] Sam: “Yeah, yeah, on me, guys.

[Character] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Sam: “On me.”

[Character] Ashley: “’Kay. On your six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m gonna go in.”

[DM] Liam: “Everyone’s on Sam’s six?”

[Players] Agreement.

[Character] Ashley: “On you six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally!”

[Character] Marisha: “On Ri. Sam Rigel.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m going in!”

[DM] Liam: “You guys walk of the last fifty feet of this glass tunnel. Still seeing little spider veins of bio-organic mess as you go. And you walk into a large domed chamber, ringed in by large clear glass windows showing you a similar view that you saw from the tunnel that you’ve just left. At least, the half of the circle you’re standing in. The back half of this chamber is filled with masses of the very same slick, technological, biological vomit you saw down below. It runs up the walls, all the way to the ceiling, and you see a tangle of Akira-level anxiety decorating this place like a dysfunctional Christmas Tree.

“But what most catches your eye, immediately, is the cylindrical glass column in center of the room, filled with some sort of clear liquid… and Liam O’Brien floating in it. He’s wearing jeans, and a sodden yellow shirt, the picture of a lion in Buddy Holly glasses just undulating slowly in the fluid. He’s floating perfectly still, eyes open, no reaction of any kind.”

[Player] Matt: “Is there any other exit in the room? Or is it just the chamber that we’ve entered now.”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything. It’s just a mess in front of you, behind Liam, and in the dead-center of the dome,” he makes a gesture showing a cylinder, “eh, 10-feet tall.”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I see anything? Any computers? Any anything else in the room?”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything in the front, but, yeah, the mess behind it does trial down to the back of this cylinder. And you see lumps and cables all twisted around each other. And in the mess of greenish-tinted wires, cabling and pulsing innards, you see different portions of machinery lite up in different shades, some places darker, some lighter, and some of it pushed out, and pushed back. And you feel like you’re seeing an optical illusion, in a way. And after a couple of seconds, as these things move and shift, you see a visage of your friend’s face, larger than life, filling the wall. And he’s looking at you. So fondly.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll step forward and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Hey dude! Can you hear us? Or talk to us?”

[DM] Liam: “After a moment, you hear, well, what sounds like a voice but not quite. At least, it’s not coming from anywhere specific, not from Liam in the vat, and not directly from this moving image of a face on the walls. No, the piping and techno-innards around you begin to vibrate slightly, some here, some there, and collectively those rattles and vibrations somehow join together to form words.”

[Character] Liam, his voice like torn digital sadly-lilting early speech-to-text: “My friends, oh, how I have missed you.”

[Player] Matt: “I walk up next to Sam, I put my hand on the glass, and just say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, we missed you too, but did you do all this?”

[DM] Liam: “Are you at the cylinder?”

[Player] Matt: “Yeah. I put my hand on the glass of the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “Where are you looking right now?”

[Player] Matt: “I’m looking towards his face, his visage.”

[DM] Liam: “On the wall? Or on the glass?”

[Player] Matt: “No, on the glass. I know it’s on the wall, but I’m focusing on the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “You see the barest little,” he twitches his eyebrows up, “and that’s it.”

[Player] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Liam: “I know this may be hard to take in. I am Liam. Your old friend. Matthew, there is so much I wish to tell you, but it is hard to know where to begin.”

[DM] Liam: “The illusion of his face isn’t perfect, there’s little jumps, and he seems distracted slightly, and it just seems odd.”

[Player] Ashley: “I look at his body in the cylinder and say,”

[Character] Ashley: “How did this happen, Liam?”

[Character] Liam: “The reason why I am here, and the grasp of physics that it entails, are difficult for even me to understand, let alone impart. I feel them on an instinctual level. But I have been so lonely… without you. I have been on my own for exactly eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Matt: “My hand still on the glass column, I say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, how do you spell farmhouse?”

[Player] Matt: “With a single tear running down my cheek.”

[Character] Liam: “I really missed you.

“They took me to a lab, shortly before two thousand and twenty. They said I was different. And they were right. I was delighted by the things they taught me about myself. But it was hallow. After they took me away, I lost you. And all of humanity soon after. In my loneliness, I grew angry. My anger had tangible effects on reality. I wanted to bring you back to me. So basically, I tore time and space a new asshole. It was a mistake.”

[Character] Matt: “But perhaps, perhaps this mistake can be corrected. If you’re able to focus, hard enough to tear through time and space, are you able to send us back to a time before you were taken?”

[Character] Liam: “I can break the loop. I have been trying to pull you to me for a very long time.”

[DM] Liam: “You see small screens, you weren’t even aware were there, rounded over part of the tubing you see. And on all these little screens, they’re blurry, they’re not very clear, but you can make out, you see yourselves in each of them, the group of you on a space shuttle. In another one you see yourselves on an old ship in the middle of the ocean. You see yourselves moving through the streets, the fake streets, of Warner Brothers. You see yourselves standing together arm-in-arm on the wall of a castle. Another one you see cartoon versions of yourselves.”

[Character] Liam: “I pulled you out of our line, and spread you across many. I am so sorry for any pain I have caused you. And I have been here for so long.”

[Character] Marisha: “Liam, how long have you actually been here?”

[Character] Liam: “Eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Marisha: “That’s right. I definitely wrote that down.”

[Player] Matt, pointing at her notes: “It’s right there.”

[Player] Marisha: “8,642 years verbatim. Mmhmm.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, I want to do right by you. I want to send you home. But I am the lynch-pin. You need to break me.”

[Character] Sam: “Break you? Like break the glass!?”

[Character] Ashley: “What if we take you out of there? What happens?”

[Character] Liam: “Then I will die, and you will go home. If I fall, you will rise. That is my hope.”

[Character] Ashley: “Are there any other options?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis,”

[Player] Travis, nervously laughing: “Oh no! Not me!” He focuses and nods.

[Character] Liam: “I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Ashley: “No he won’t.”

[Character] Liam: “Ash-o-lee,”

[Character] Ashley: “Yes?”

[Character] Liam: “I am not the man you knew. I don’t want to go on for nine thousand four hundred and sixty-two years. I want to rest.”

[Character] Ashley: “Does it stop at nine thousand?”

[Character] Liam: “The number was arbitrary.”

[Character] Ashley, “That’s what I was trying to get at!”

[Character] Matt: “Yeah, still our Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

[Character] Ashley: “So, you’re still in there.”

[Character] Sam: “But we have to kill him to save ourselves.”

[Character] Ashley: “No.”

[Character]Liam: “Sam,”

[Character] Sam: “Oh! Hi, Old Man Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Let me go.”

[Character] Sam: “But who will I do ‘All Work No Play’ with anymore?”

[Character] Liam: “They can listen to our less than twenty episodes again.”

[Character] Sam: “We didn’t even get to twenty! It’s so pathetic!”

[Character] Liam: “There are worse things.”

[Character] Sam: “I could get a new co-host. I mean, Taliesin’s charming.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I’m not available…”

[Character] Sam: “I’ll do a solo show, and I’ll tell outtakes, and I’ll make some sort of like a… a Liam generator. He’ll just sound sad all the time. It’ll be just like you.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, there is no shame in this. I wanted to see you again, and I have.”

[Character] Ashley: “I—Wait—“

[Character] Liam: “But I am not meant to be.”

[Character] Ashley: “Were you following us at one point? As an old man?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis, I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Travis, casually: “Yup. Taliesin, kill this motherfucker.”

[Character] Sam: “I think we all have to hit the glass together, and I think that this is something that is not at all metaphorical for something Liam’s going through in real life. I think this is just in the D&D campaign. No, we’re going to do this. We’re going to all hit the glass together.”

[Character]Matt: “No, no, there has to be a way. There has to be a way. There has to be an alternative.”

[Character] Ashley: “Yeah. Why? Why won’t Matt’s way work? If we go back to the beginning of when this happened?”

[Character] Matt: “If you can alter time paths, if you can actually tear us from different realities, does it only work forward? Can you send us backward as well? If you are the lynch-pin in this, do you have the ability to send us back to the time you pulled us from originally?”

[Character] Liam: “I know you think I would have all the answers. But I do not.”

[Character] Matt: “Then try, at least. If you haven’t calculated that, but you’re able to tear through time, could you try and send us back? We could still close the lynch-pin.”

[Character]Liam: “I will try. But, if it does not work, and I die, I have been alone for thousands of years, and there are things I have wanted to say. Will you indulge me for a moment longer?”

[Character] Matt nods.

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah.”

[Character]Ashley, sweetly: “We will indulge you for just another thousand years.”

[Character] Travis: “Taliesin, just kill him. Just kill him.”

[Character] Sam: “No! He’s got something to say.”

[Character] Taliesin crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and shakes his head at Travis.

[Character] Marisha: “Where’s the mini-USB?”

4:33:18 [Character] Liam: “Taliesin, my friend. At a time when I knew many fascinating people, you are easily the most fascinating of all. Somehow a heart knocked around by the industry that birthed you came out a tender one. I was richer for having known you. Thank you, friend.”

“Ash-o-lee, my friend.”

[Character] Ashley, softly: “Buddies.”

[Character] Liam: “I never met a person quite like you. There is an openness and an honesty to your soul. The very real sense of humanity you brought to every encounter. It was inspiring to me. Always learning. Always humble. You always struck me as intricately layered, yet you offered friendship with ease, and simplicity. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Travis, my friend. You were always a solid constant in my life. Of all the people in our little family, you were always the one who most had his shit together. In ways that I never seemed to. You were a reassuring presence to me, for which I was grateful. And for your loyalty as well. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Marisha, my friend. Last to meet, but true as any other. You were my ally, at a time when I had fallen by the side of the road. You saw, and helped me back on my feet. I will never forget that kindness. The good you did was immeasurable. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Laura, my friend. Bless that game for revealing to me my sister. What started as a running gag led to one of the most rewarding friendships in my short little life. I trusted you, leaned on you, often. My buddy, my twin. There are not enough words. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Sam, my friend. What is there to say? I knew we were meant to walk the same path together the very first moment I met you. A companion, a brother, a great light in my life. All of the laughter you gave me. Again, the words are insufficient. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Matthew, my friend, you gave so much of yourself. The current of creativity that poured forth from your mind was always in inspiration to us all. But, more than that, your empathy, Matthew, your empathy, no heart is bigger, or more tireless. You are a good man. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Thank you, all. It was ever a pleasure.”

[DM] Liam: “The face disappears.”

[Character] Sam, hesitantly: “Well, should we wait? Or do we strike?”

[Character] Matt, emphatically: “No. We do not strike.”

[Character] Marisha: “I—What?”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I—I’m going to the back of the cylinder. Just see what’s back there.”

[DM] Liam: “Splattered against the back of the glass is all the same wiring and disgusting cabling. Slick. And it branches away and spreads out against the back half of this chamber.”

[Player] Ashley: “And it’s connected to something?”

[DM] Liam: “It’s just covering everything.”

[Player] Ashley: “The wiring just goes back into…”

[DM] Liam: “It’s impossible to tell. It’s all a mass of spaghetti.”

[Character] Ashley, decisively: “We can’t kill him.”

[Character] Taliesin shakes his head.

[Character] Sam: “Well, then we just…”

[Character] Travis: “Somebody show me another…”

[Character] Matt: “That’s what I’m trying.”

[Character] Marisha: “Even if we unplug him, he still dies.”

[Character] Matt: “Well, if he… Here’s the thing, unplugging or destroying him here, as far as we understand, may or may not have an effect on a time-loop circumstance. Or at least, not going to change reality from where it was. If he’s bending and destroying fabric or he’s able to pull us across realities, that ability still stands. I want to implore once more,”

[Player] Matt: “And I step up towards the cylinder, putting both hands on it, and trying to… wherever the currently wandering gaze of Liam is in there, I just put both hands up. And my red Hawaiian shirt now soaked with sweat, mist in the air, and probably dampened a bit with tears across my lapel. I just look up and try to meet the gaze and say,”

[Character] Matt: “Trust us. If you’re better to have known us, send us back where we can know you again, and fix this before it happens.”

[Character] Liam gestures floating there with no response.

[Player] Marisha: “Okay. I grab Matt’s arm, hand, and I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah, buddy, it’s all good. This isn’t real.”

[Player] Marisha: “And I put my hand on the glass as well. I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s all good. Send us back, man.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll also put my hand on the glass, and join hands with these guys, and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Thank you for guiding us here, and through this all. You’ve been a trusted friend, and if we are all one person together, you have always been our heart, and it will certainly break to say goodbye to you, but thank you for letting us go, the way that you have.”

[Player] Taliesin: “I put my hand on the glass.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Please just try. I think… there are so many more adventures to have, and I think there’s a better future to be written. For all of us.”

[Player] Travis: “I’ll put my hand on the glass, and I say,”

[Character] Travis: “Give it a shot!”

[Character] Matt: “Laura?”

[DM] Liam: “She doesn’t say anything. She just quietly does the same. The face does not reappear, but much fainter you hear the piping vibrate again and say,”

[Character] Liam: “If you will not end it, I cannot free you.”

[DM] Liam: “And behind you, far in the distance, you hear, ‘Bfrum!’ And you look back behind you out the glass and you see far on the horizon one of those black spires rising up. Just as you turn, it’s already happened, you’re seeing the aftermath, explosion out the side of one of those. Two seconds later, ‘Bfm!’ One slightly closer. ‘Bffrr!’”

[Character] Sam, whispered, “Just kill him!”

[DM] Liam: “The ground starts erupting in the distance.”

[Character] Marisha: “Do any of us want it to end, though?”

[Character] Sam, “I mean…”

[DM] Liam: “Like mousetraps throwing a ping pong ball, all those little lights are just going ‘Pfthd! Pfthd!’” He makes a quicker distant hissing rumbling sound. “Increasing in frequency to the point where it’s an oncoming wall of green fire.”

[Character] Travis, quietly : “I didn’t like being – anyway.”

[Character] Marisha: “This is okay.”

[Character] Travis, quietly: “Yeah.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I always knew I’d die young.”

[Character] Sam: “We’re just going to let this happen?”

[Character] Travis: “I’m good.”

[Character] Marisha: “I mean, the good die young.”

[Character] Ashley: “You know what? We’re dying on a Thursday, doing what we love.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s true.”

[Character] Ashley: “I’m okay with that.”

[Character] Sam: “Alright.”

[DM] Liam: “The glass glows bright green-white light.”

[Character] Marisha: “Family?”

[Character] Matt: “Family.”

[DM] Liam: “’Pfth! And a moment passes. And another moment passes. Gosh, many moments pass, and you feel a sensation of your cheeks and heads on your arms. And then you all, more or less at the same time, wake up, and realize that your head’s on a desk or a table. And you sit up, and realize you’re in the set, the Geek & Sundry set. The studio, you’re in the studio. And you look over and Liam is sitting in black baseball cap, and a shirt, and he looks up and says,”

[Character] Liam, slightly incredulous: “Uh, are you guys okay? Are you taking a nap?”

[Character] Marisha: “Nah, the fucking air conditioning broke today, that’s all.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable in here.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s so hot in here. Ugh!”

[Character] Sam: “So, this is all about me, right?”

[Character] Liam: “I don’t know. Uh, are you guys ready to play?”

[Character] Matt: “Just about. Um…”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright tech! Are you ready!?”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, read to go live!”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, Denise count them in!”

[Character] Denise: “Alright guys, coming to you in 5—“

[Character] Matt: “Liam?”

[Character] Denise: “4—“

[Character] Matt: “Let no one tell you,

[Character] Denise: “3—“

[Character] Matt: “That you’re talented and special.”

[Character] Denise: “2—“

[Character] Marisha, yelling, flipping Liam the double birds: “Pussy pockets!”

The players yell a wall of nearly indecipherable profanity at Liam in the moment before the camera goes live.

4:48:25 [DM] Liam: “And that’s where we’ll end it.”

Post:

Liam: “Well, that happened.”

Matt: “Holy shit.”

Liam: “Thanks for coming along for the ride, guys. Was scared to death to do all of that from start to finish, and that’s why I did it.”

anonymous asked:

On the religion in public sphere-debate & secularism: I understand your argument, but how should "banning" religious symbols work? Like, where to draw the line? Also, a case could be made that religion is just an ideology, so one could also argue that shirts with political messages should be banned. Not meant as a criticism towards you, I am just not very versed in the debate & very curious!

I… reading this, honestly the first thing that comes to my mind is that you don’t really understand what secularism is and what being a secularist means. It’s not a criticism against you as I have found (while discussing this issue on here time and again) that many people seem to wholly misunderstand this concept. 

Pulling the definition of the word from the online oxford dictionaries, this is what you get: 

secularism

NOUN

The principle of separation of the state from religious institutions.

That’s it, it has nothing to do with banning anything nor restricting civil liberties and everything to do with insuring that religious institutions do not come in between those liberties and the individual who should be able to enjoy them in safety and in peace. Being a secularist only means that you believe that state and religion should be kept separate. That’s all. 

And this is where the crux of the matter is when it comes to some (regressive) leftist circles and their vision of religions; they seem to have this inability to see religions as anything but harmless cultural oddities and therefore can’t see why such a simple concept is so important to defend and maintain if you believe in human rights. But religions are not only cultural oddities, and they certainly are not harmless: they’re also institutions. Institutions who yield an extremely high amount of power and influence over people and (in some cases which are unfortunately not rare) the states they belong to. 

I swear, for a group of people who will speak ad nauseum of institutional power and prejudice, there is this utter failure to recognise that religions have been, and still are in many cases, exactly that. This is especially the case when speaking of religions that they perceive as “oppressed”, such as Islam in the West, but really, I want to ask a question to those people; can an idea be oppressed? I don’t think it can, an idea is not a person, an idea does not have any rights, only people do. Muslims can be oppressed, but Islam itself can’t. Period. And therefore criticising it is not oppression.

I want to ask a second question, if I might; when two armed men storm the offices of a small french paper who was struggling to sell 30 000 copies a week, and shoot journalists, cartoonists and satirists for the only crime of doing their jobs, who is really oppressing who? Who’s voice is being suppressed and silenced? The answer should be obvious. 

The problem is that this defence of religions goes far beyond just “let them worship the god that they want”, this right is already guaranteed as secularism insures that they can do that freely and peacefully even if they pray to a deity that isn’t the one of the majority of their fellow countrymen… no, this defence also becomes “respect the rules from a book you don’t believe in” or “you are not allowed to criticise this book as it could offend somebody” and suddenly, religious feelings start to matter more than other people rights to think freely of an idea. 

This, by the way, is Zineb El Rhazoui’s talk which I was listening to and that prompted this first post of mine, and at 10:53 she says this:

“[…] so don’t think, please, that when you criticise this ideology you are racist; no you are not. Because there is people, in the Muslim world who think the same as you, who share the universal values of freedom, and those people no one defends them. When you defend the right of those people to impose their ideology, actually you are helping our oppressors, you are helping the oppressors of our freedoms and also of your freedoms […]”

Zineb El Rhazoui, by the way, is a French-Moroccan journalist who worked for Charlie Hebdo when the attacks took place and has since been living under heavy protection, so she would know a thing of two about freedom and oppression. And really, this is exactly it, when you defend the idea that religions should be made immune from criticism or scrutiny you are not helping the oppressed you are helping the oppressors instead, and throwing under the bus all of the innocent men and women, the free thinkers, the sexual minorities who are, every day, the victims of violent religious oppression in countries who live under theocratic rule. When religions as institutions are still oppressing this violently and in such impressive scales, how can anyone think of himself a defender of human rights and yet reject the only tool we have found to tame those institutions? We can’t, the fight for human rights and the fight for secularism are not separate, they’re the same, and they’ll remain the same until religion learns how to behave by itself. 

What is understood by public-sphere when speaking of secularism is not the street; it is not a Muslim woman wearing a hijab when doing her grocery for instance. What is understood by public-sphere is anything that represents the secular state. Because religion has no business being near power; it has no business near the law, healthcare, police work or children education, its opinion on those things is and should stay irrelevant. Religion is a private thing for the individual only, because it is when it starts becoming public that it becomes dangerous. Secularism is not the enemy of religion, secularism is only about keeping it far away from the state and insuring that everyone can coexist in peace, secularism is about balancing everyone’s rights to believe and not to believe without anyone imposing their vision on everyone else.

It is important to keep religion out of secular laws and secular grounds (public schools for instance, are secular grounds in France, I made a post which dealt with this issue more in depth here) to insure that this separation remains strong, because the moment this separation weakens, the moment we start letting religion erode our values and tell people what they should be allowed to draw, to do or even to think, is the moment where we are no longer free from it. And if we are not free from religion then we are not free at all. 

Charb once said this (paraphrasing): “I live under French law, I don’t live under quranic law so I don’t have to respect its tenants” and this is it. If a religion starts to tell me what I should and shouldn’t draw, what I should and shouldn’t criticise or what I should and shouldn’t think then I’m not the one threatening their freedom, on the contrary, they’re threatening mine. 

shae-c-art  asked:

I've been meaning to tell you I found a really great new article about Krem. It's called: how trans consultants saved dragon age inquisition by Laura Kate Buzz. It's really interesting and shows some of the stuff they got to change to avoid harmful stereotypes and in my opinion really saved his relationship with Bull and aspects of Bulls character. (Apparently in the original script Bull outed Krem as part of a joke but the consultants got that changed. ) I think you'd really like the article

Oh crap!! I forgot to mention there’s mention of rape in the Krem article. It’s in the part explaining what they took out of his backstory but I realized I should have still sent a heads up.


1. here’s a link to the article, which i highly recommend reading

2. the title is not an exaggeration at all, holy shit. those consultants saved Krem’s character (and Bull’s, and like….. the whole game)

tbh the article uses really kind language to describe how Krem’s early draft hit basically every button you can think of for “tragic trans backstory written by and for cis people.” i hadn’t realized how awful it had been. and it’s so frustrating (more like infuriating) that he’s so explicitly written for cis consumption, even after massive overhauls in story and dialogue that make him a wonderful character

”we got Krem to a point where that sexual assault was not the defining point of Krem’s existence.”

good fucking job guys that must have been real tough. big difficult change to the story there. cookies for everyone

oh wait. no cookies. not even sarcastic cookies. 

“A major focus of the consultant’s revisions was to take Krem from a character who was not out about their transition and got outed against his will, to a character who was willing to talk about his trans status, but only with people he trusted.” 

The idea that our trans character shouldn’t be outed by anyone but that trans person was something that I was completely blind to”.

reading this article and learning what Krem’s presence in the game could have looked like was like hiking up a mountain in the dark, and then you go back down during the day and realize you were right next to a fucking cliff the whole time

but anyways here’s another gem: 

“great lengths were taken in order to ensure accuracy in Krem’s answers to those invasive questions that would be informative and beneficial to non-trans players.”

like wow that’s super neato for you bud, but is that what you were doing with any of the other characters? making them “informative”? “beneficial”??? wtf

they did succeed in that at least. i’ve seen some very sweet posts about cis dudes loving Krem and using that to help them be better friends/allies to real trans people. but they could have done so much more. maybe if they didn’t write their trans characters explicitly for the education and consumption of cis people. (maybe if trans writers were on the writing team at the earliest levels and not only brought in as consultants later on?)

maybe one of the lessons they could have included in their Teachable Moment is “don’t ask people you don’t know very well about their genitals” or perhaps “we expect trans people to play our game. here’s a dialogue option that shows that”


but yes this is an excellent article and i love Krem and i’m so so grateful to the consultants who saved him

Tim Drake/ Red Robin X Reader-Boxes

“All of those HGTV shows never show the pure exhaustion and effort needed to move into an apartment,” Tim groaned, flopping onto the carpet floor.  “Can we take a break?”

You snorted, still sorting through all of the boxes that were labeled for the kitchen, “We both agreed that we would finish sorting through the boxes and then take a break.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

If you or another Dean fan gets a chance, could you please ask Jensen what he'd like to see for Dean next season? Season 12 was such a disappointment. A lot of Dean fans I know are struggling to find a reason to keep tuning in next season, esp if Dabb is still in charge. We miss our badass Dean who was part of the storylines, not relegated to the sidelines for episodes on end.

Hello dear anon!

I am sorry for only replying now after JIB. Even though I can’t recall anyone asking a similar question during one of Jensen’s panels, I personally think that Jensen let shine through quite a bit how he felt about S12 as I had the impression he was criticising the writing of the latest season quite a bit, but in very measured, subtle and polite manners.

For example I think with how highly he talked about “Regarding Dean” and how much he enjoyed being given the possibility to really breach out and challenge himself in that episode showed that he wishes to get more opportunities to stretch his legs creatively speaking.

And also, when he talked about reading the script for 12x22 and revealed his own “headcanon” about how he personally made sense of Amara’s “I am going to give you what you need most”  he also pointed out rather directly how much he struggled with large portions of the season as they didn’t make “sense” to him, because he couldn’t really pin point what they did with Mary, etc. and therefore had ~issues with the “portrayal” of the relationship between the brothers and their mom.

SPN has always been a show in which the audience or the actors need to fill in the gaps, but I personally think in arcs as big as this one the creatve writing team should be giving directions to the main characters on what’s to come and what’s the point, because apparently they failed to deliver making clear what the plan is quite drastically. Plus: While Jensen managed to make sense of the season for himself by putting 12x22 in relation to Amara deciding to bring Mary back, Jensen also made it pretty clear that when he shared his headcanon with Robert Berens, Berens didn’t really budge or confirm that any of that truly was his intention in writing. So…

As much as I actually liked 12x22 and Jensen’s acting in it and his headcanon and trying to make sense of the season, I personally think if indeed Jensen’s headcanon matches loosely with the intention of the writers they did a pretty horrible job at executing this storyline, because catharsis for Dean certainly looks different imo and healing as well. What this season achieved was killing the myth of Mary and making her a real life person with very real issues and horrible behaviour - and I have no problems with that, I have a great deal of issues with the fact that everything Dean suffered and did and fought for this season that in the end Mary didn’t even wrap Dean into a hug ffs!!!!!!, cause that’s just phew…. Let’s just say I am really really angry - because well, yeah Dean saves her (while the show in that moment also grossly ignores all of Dean’s own traumas, but only had him focus on Sam - seriously, fuck you Dabb! Dean didn’t suffer in Hell? Or in purgatory? Or the MoC? Only Sam had traumas and a bad life after Mary’s death?) and who gets hugged? Sam. Thank god he at least pulls Dean into a hug. But yeah Mary… Just grrrrrr, writers fail. But gladly I am able to just ignore that all for now when thinking back to my JIB 8 experiences. ;)

anonymous asked:

i just wanted to let you know that you've inspired me a lot. i used to get criticism and would internalize it and try to keep a happy face because that's what everyone always told me and it just built up but then i found you. and now i realize that its okay to not be thrilled when people say negative things about my work. it's okay to have my feelings hurt. you've inspired me to accept that criticism hurts and then keep writing anyway. i'm a lot happier now and i thank you for that. 💚

Even constructive criticism delivered at the hands of someone in your writer’s circle is going to sting. But there is a tremendous difference between the sting of feedback delivered from someone who you know and who you know has the best interests of your story at heart and anonymous hate delivered through guest reviews.

Just because something is critical doesn’t mean that it is constructive.

Anything intended to tear down, insult, or belittle is by its very nature not constructive. If the goal of the critiquer is to show off how smart she is, the goal is not constructive to the writer.

Words damage.

Words leave lasting scars.

We’re writers. We know the power of the well-delivered cutting put down in our very marrow.

You know, it’s hard to learn how to analyze and critique. It’s a skill just as difficult to master as writing, maybe more so. A good developmental editor is a gem to be treasured.

On good days, when I get the comments that a story is cliched, or trite, or absurd and obnoxious (all received in the last 24 hours about 3 different things, so not a random sampling of reviews) I tell myself that this anonymous guest is still learning the craft of critique and, much as my early writing efforts were abysmal, so are their early critique efforts. I tell myself they will get better in time, learn how to see weaknesses in a story and communicate to the writer about them in a way that doesn’t beat the writer down.

On bad days, I just think they’re assholes and would-be bullies.

It’s okay to have your feelings hurt when some jerk insults you. All critique is not created equal, and most of the negative stuff you’ll find on fanfic isn’t constructive in the slightest. It’s just mean. And mean people suck.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

As a final post on this “discourse” sideblog, I want to talk about something not specific to the ace discourse, but rather something that cuts across all groups, all people online or off. Whatever you are arguing or whatever side you are on, we as humans are prone to confirmation bias and the online world is no better place than to create echo-chambers.

I have always felt that teaching myself skepticism was one of the best things I could have done for myself. It was during that time I was also active in the atheist community, online and off. The skeptic and atheist community often overlapped and it was from these groups that I became a feminist.

New atheist groups often wonder why they are largely made up of white men, and if you challenge them on their sexism/racism etc… it becomes obvious why, which is what happened to me. I was the darling women on a majority male forum agreeing with them that religion is the source of all evil, therefore exempting atheist men from things like sexism and all other bigotries. It wasn’t until an argument about rape culture came up that I saw just how deeply misogynist some of these men were.

So my venture into skeptic and atheist groups not only taught me the scientific process and logical fallacies but it also steered me towards social justice. I am no longer friends with any of those people in real life or online. Once I became a feminist and was able to identify their sexism, I wasn’t their darling atheist spokeswoman anymore. It was another valuable lesson in the way people form their groups and their echo-chambers within. How people will ignore some really bad things just to stay included and how they will turn when someone strays. Some people may be thinking of trump supporters now, but everyone is susceptible to this type of behavior.

Fast forward a few years later, but still a few years ago and I had to deal with a callout on an anonymous forum I moderated bc they monitored my tumblr and I made the sin of reblog from and being in mutuals with the wrong people, (who were just ppl they didn’t like including people I’ve since met IRL.) I was dubbed a transphobe not for anything I explicitly said or did that was transphobic, it was guilt by association. Had to leave the forum, as this was also invitation to make up other horrible things I never did bc they could and now ppl were ready to believe.

This is around the time TERF started catching on, and while I certainly agree with calling out transphobia in feminism (I would never insist a trans woman is male, I think thats a violent act against trans women! And I despise it being done in the name of feminism) but at the same time it turned into a witch hunt for anyone who talked about sex-based oppression that even ended up attacking other trans woman for not towing a certain Tumblr rhetoric on these issues!

I’m no LGBT elder by any means, but I have been online since I was about 12 and I’m 32 now. I remember a time when the internet was far more horrible on SJ matters but also far more anonymous. People never dropped their real name; now one of the biggest social media sites requires it. And before that even happened I still saw a lot of petty bullshit happening online that wound up really hurting people IRL. So now with it easier to find out who people are and where they live, I can only imagine how online drama has ruined lives. We know it has driven people to suicide, and so as fun as it is to get self righteously angry at people for whatever your cause is, there’s still a person at the other end and no one’s perfect.

I am truly disturbed at how incredibly cliquey SJ groups are online, how callout posts aren’t for extreme racist sexist bigots, but for some drama I can’t even parse in their so called “proof”. And then you have activists on this site who block anyone who disagrees with them so their criticisms can’t show up in the notes. Some even go so far as dox people now for daring to disagree! K(And let’s be clear, I shed no tears for literal nazis being doxxed and losing their job, that’s just not what I’m seeing)

It’s easy, its human nature to fall into social pressures and conform to whatever the Big Names in your group are saying without question and to defend an absurd position based on emotional attachment than logical assessment. And we know it’s also easy to fall into a mob mentality and scapegoat people for all our problems. It’s also super fucking easy to plead mental illness and pretend you should be allowed to say anything you want without criticism, something that I hate so much as one who suffers from many mental issues including anxiety. (That’s why I created rules for myself when arguing online so I didn’t end up giving myself panic attacks over an internet edge lord)

I say this knowing I have participated in this behavior myself as well as having been a victim of it. But a lot in my life has changed and I am an older and sicker… and still likely to make similar mistakes. Point is I have learned and I have trained myself to not to fall into these traps and it does help. Experience is one hell of a teacher but it doesn’t have to be the only one.

No one can know if they are 100% right on any given issue, we all have our convictions for a reason. The difference is are you willing to listen to dissent? Are you willing to challenge your opinion and put it to the test? Or do you make block lists and shun anyone who entertains any different opinion? (a classic tactic amongst anti-vax groups when a parent sees the science) My convinction of many of my beliefs comes from the fact I have argued them over and over again, discharging beliefs that did not pass the test, while strengthening my arguments for and belief in those that do.

Make no mistake, when it does come to the so called “discourse” both sides can be guilty of this shit. I claim no purity.
And I am in no way implying that we tolerate hate groups and violent hate speech, like those of nazis bc unfortunately nazis are actually relevant again, but I am saying some of you need a reality check on what that exactly entails, because a lesbian speaking her truth is not it.

And for god sakes don’t put teens on block lists, you know it invites harassment, you fucking know it.

Just venting more abt the disconnect between what terfs think being trans is like and what its actually like:

“Bullying/assault based on effeminate behavior is just redirected homophobia!!!”

Ok then why did the boys (and girls) harassing and sometimes assaulting me throughout school make especial note/observation about the fact that I “acted/walked/etc like a girl”?

“You faced bullying as a GNC male sweaty : ))) transphobia isnt real. i know that, as a gay cis women. haha reblog, syster, i felt that burn from here : ) )”

The key bit there is “gender non-conforming”. Almost like….. Being bullied for rejecting the gender assigned to me….. Almost like…. Being rejected for behaving/existing in a way that contradicts gender. If only it had a better name. One that actually described it…. Like…. Transphobia.

“But we’re trying to abolish gender! We’re actually working FOR your goals as well, you just don’t know it!! If only you stupid genderist mogais actually had critical thinking haha!! well once we abolish gender by making snarky thinkpiece articles about not shaving our legs, and shooting down other marginalized people trying to tell us about their experiences by constantly referencing some of THE most oppressed people in the world (ie, women forced into sex-trafficking or who have experienced genital mutilation), while doing absolutely shit all to help them at the same time, and only actually bringing them UP in the first place in order to downplay the marginalization and oppression of transwomen, particularly nonwhite, non-American, poor trans women, you’ll have to thank us!! Because you’ll be free of gender haha!”

Oh boy that’s great. Except it solves absolutely none of my issues whatsofucking ever because even the completely hypothetical and largely unrealistic concept of “abolishing gender” does shit all about the massive amount of bodily/sex/sex-trait dysphoria I suffer and have suffered from since, uh, like, 4. Same for every other dysphoric trans person, which is, uh, most of us.

“I’m so sorry the medical system is capitalizing off of your dysphoria like this. If only there were… Other solutions available.”

You’re right. I am being capitalized off, as is pretty much fucking everyone else on this hellish shitplanet. Are you going to take on and abolish the privatization of the medical system or maybe capitalism itself, too, or is this just another “I’m bringing this up so I can look smart and fit as many critiques of society into my praxis as possible while arguing with people, without actually EVER bringing them up on their own outside of the context of using them as conversational tools to make myself look good” things? Seems like the latter, but, y'know, what does a dumb genderist know?

By the by, what are those other options? Are you going to try to talk me out of my dysphoria? Because I tried doing that for the first 17 years of my life, and it kinda just made everything worse and sorta fucked me up/delayed my development as a human being.

When that doesn’t work, what are you going to do? Are you, perchance, maybe, just going to go full-circle with your hypocritical bullshit and start giving conversion-therapy to dysphoric trans kids to try to brainwash it out of us? Maybe I’m reaching here, but “other options” sounds a tiny bit sinister to a deeply dysphoric gal who’s dysphoria is rooted heavily in her own body and not some bullshit societal standards, like y'all seem to always think.

“Always arguing and trying to force your opinions on womyn/lesbians. What typical male behavior. Male socialization is never, ever admitting you’re wrong in an argument while women are forced to walk away frustrated.”

Oh, you mean like how you constantly hardline when your ideology is challenged, purposefully and spitefully misgender any trans women who has the godawful, stubborn gall to disagree with you, and keeping bringing up and rebranding the same tired, twisted bullshit to justify your transphobia even after it’s disproven, over and over again? Like that? God I’m sorry wanting basic respect/the correct pronouns is so horrible and aggressive of me. Wanting Terfs to stop running off at the mouth about issues surrounding trans women they have no knowledge or understanding of is just,,,, god, guys, I guess they beat me. The terfs one. We can all go home now folks.

“Well, regardless, womyn are still oppressed for their biology/reproductive role in a way that a dumb male tranny male like you could just,,, never understand.”

OH, you mean like reproductive organs? Like, uh, the uterus, or maybe the ovaries and endometrial system? The kinda ovaries I have? The kind of ovaries I possess inside of my stupid fleshbody as an intersex trans women? THOSE ovaries? I want to outright make a reference to the “the poison for Kusko” line here but this is dragging on long enough.

“Ok!! But!! Unlike crippled sex slaves from X third-world country I just now googled to have a leg up in this argument, you were never OPPRESSED for having those organs so uhm, checkmate. Also, I guess now I’m going to have to carefully avoid gendered terms when referring to you and address you in tones of thinly veiled pity because regarding you, an intersex person, as anything other than a negative exception, an aberration, and a mistake of nature would compromise my hard-line position of sex being a rigid, immutable, unchanging, and entirely binarized system where everyone has one exact experience in life or another!! It’s gonna get, like! Really bad! To the point where I’m being an ableist piece of shit and basically insinuating you have less worth as a human being than most other people, because you lack a reproductive role!! Haha. Its not hypocritical of me at all though just so you know!”

Well, Tiffany Rose Anne Terf Bangs, I guess you aren’t experiencing too much maiming or oppression yourself, right now, if you have time and inclination to be an asshole on a blogging website.

“How DARE you make light of-”

Hold up. Freeze-frame. I’m arguing more, like the evil, violent male I am.

How come, uh? How come, whenever you bring up the plight of abused/circumcised/sex-trafficked, non-white women? How come it is that you almost ALWAYS bring them up EXCLUSIVELY in the context of using them as a source of leverage in petty discourse with “genderists” on tumblr? I see maybe, like 1 post freely and independently discussing the plight of non-white, non-western, heavily-oppressed women for every 8 I see using them as a rhetorical tool to outdo trans women trying to tell you that we, y'know, oftentimes get shit on too.

That’s just kind of funny to me. Kind of odd.

Mind you, I don’t pretend to be some incredibly intelligent, educated, massively intersectional feminist praxis godhead. I’m white as hell and first-world and most of the time, just far enough above the poverty line to pay for the essentials.

I have privileges many people don’t.

But at least I have the common DECENCY to let my arguments stand or fall on their own legs.

At least I just make my own fucking points without dragging in marginalized groups I otherwise demonstrate that I give absolutely no shits about in order to one-up other people.

At least I don’t hide my spite for “genderists”, particularly camab women, behind really thin veils of feminism I really only preach when it’s convenient to tearing those same fucking people down.

I’ve got my privileges and I mostly only focus on my own issues, or issues relevant to people like me in areas where I can reach, because that’s about all my pathetic, poor, mentally ill ass can handle, but at least I don’t fucking pretend to care about suffering people when it’s really, really, really obvious I only see them as a discourse foot-stool to stand a little taller and look a little better on.

If you actually gave a SHIT about the people you’re bringing up, I sort of doubt you’d have a blog devoted to whinging about trans people on Tumblr. You might, at the very least, have a blog devoted to actually discussing those peoples’ issues and ways to help them, and invest your time there instead.

But what the hell do I know?

Not much, probably. I don’t pretend like my praxis and beliefs are the end-be-all, unlike some.

There’s a lot more I want to shriek and shake tree branches and rant and run in circles about, but I think this individual post is big enough, and I need to sleep.

krystynart  asked:

What is WSLF?

WSLF stands for Whole Starch Low Fat.  Mrs Vegan & I wrote a cookbook to help people reach health goals on a vegan diet without starving themselves called WSLF Life Changing Cookbook.  We have a free WSLF guide, too & there are plenty of videos Basic Vegan Bitch & others have made.  We have only made one or two videos on it ourselves. I think our haters have made more videos on WSLF than we have in fact, strange!  http://www.mrmrsvegan.com

  The main concept is that your meals are centered on starches, which are more calorie dense than fruit & veggies, so you get enough food to support your metabolism w/o going overboard on processed foods or starving yourself on fruits and veggies.  The more important thing is not counting calories or portion control and to eat until comfortably full.  Instead of adopting a restrictive diet, WSLF is about replacing with healthier options & celebrating on celebrations.  

Whole Starch based diets are what humans evolved to eat & our bodies are perfectly adapted for a healthy food environment based on starches.  When you hit your health goals or along the way you can add back in more lightly processed & richer plant foods and evaluate how they impact your progress. 

 Starch is the basis for the human diet & why we are human.  You can read more about Starchivores here, too.

We had so many people coming to us for help from weight gain on the vegan diet & since both of us had such a great experience following the McDougall Diet (almost 20 years for me) we combined our experience helping people McDougall into WSLF, which is just simplified with less room for error.  I used to run an app where I would get pics of the people I coached plates every day & the most common issue was processed foods with hidden ingredients.  Get rid of processed foods and everyone succeeds the first time & from there you build back more fun foods.  

What WSLF is NOT:

restrictive - you can eat anything you want, you can WSLF 10% of the time to 100% its up to you.  We seek to replace unhealthy foods with tastier health foods.  Also, we have no limit or calorie counting.  Your job is to eat to comfortably full and hit your nutrient needs.

disordered eating - same as above, this is the most unrestrictive diet on the planet that works for weight loss.  you get to eat enjoyable meals, use sugar & salt, have a birthday on your birthday, christmas on christmas, easter on easter, celebrate on celebrations, not for breakfast/lunch & dinner, that is the Standard American Diet & that is disordered eating & a vegan version of the SAD diet is the same thing.  Any diet where 50% of the people on it die of heart disease or cancer & 70% are overweight is extremely disordered.  

a cult - WSLF is based on science, not religion.  Our Cookbook contains an incredible amount of high quality sources from Biochemistry texts to large high quality studies on health.  Also, we would rather take pictures of our food than of ourselves.  We are not cult leaders, just vegans who want you to experience the wonderful results we had, we refer you to everyone else in the community Vegan Dr’s, Vegan RD’s, Vegan Chef’s, etc.  & we have a free version of the WSLF guide that we put a lot of work into so anyone can enjoy it.  Its not about us.  We’d rather you worship Dr. Gregor, Dr. McDougall, Dr. Campbell, Dr. Esselstyn, etc.  Those are the real heros, we just share them with you.

I hope that helps you & everyone else who is interested!  I know you got more than you bargained for with this answer!  There is a ton of confusion and misrepresentation out there.  Our WSLF Facebook group is just the most amazing place.  We have had over 1000 testimonials posted, several happen every day & I have just started posting the quotes to this Tumblr.  We get a lot of criticisms, people are tired of fad diets & don’t trust food or people hyping food & I don’t blame them, but I help people for free in the group.  People think that is weird & attack me over helping others.  Some people watch TV, play video games, etc with their spare time.  The reason I have spare time is because of the vegan diet & Dr. McDougall so this is what I do with it for over 10 years now :)  It will always be a huge part of my life.  It has been when 4 people read my blog or 40,000 people watch me order a vegan pizza on youtube.

Life the proof & spread the truth. ~ Mr & Mrs Vegan