to organize our selfies when we get them

Christen Press thinks she's funny.

At the Sky Blue game last night, my friends and I were on the field near the stands trying to talk to the players and getting pictures with them. We were excitedly awaiting Christen Press, my sister’s favorite, who decided she would sit on the field and stretch and meditate or whatever she likes to do for forever. Most of the other players were already done signing and in the locker room when she finally starts signing for people at the stands. She seemed like she was in a good mood despite not getting the three points they were so close to winning. She gave her cleats and shin guards away and was being nice to everybody, so of course we went over to talk to her! She said the fans here at Sky Blue are the best because we all have her jerseys. That’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever heard. Christen Press thinks ~we’re~ the best fans! Put that on my tombstone! My sister said, “I have your jersey too!” So she signed her jersey and her World Cup Sports Illustrated. Then we asked for a picture, to which Press vaguely acknowledged but continued signing for everybody. Expert at politely ignoring us! Then she made her way to the locker room, still signing for fans along the way. But no way are we leaving without getting a picture with her…We had to try! She’s the best! We jokingly beg the security people to stop her so she can take a picture with us when they walk her out.

The Sky Blue guy who was about to escort her out laughed, said NEVER, and told us to go home. But I guess he had a change of heart, that kind kind man, and miraculously agreed! He said we could try taking a picture with her while she’s walking because she had to leave. Deal! We are on it!! He went to pick Press up from the locker room and walk her out and we saw them discussing something. Could this be for us?? Spoiler alert.. it was!! They walk onto the field and he says “Take your picture while she’s walking! She has to leave!” We all run over and are attempting to take a selfie with her, but we are a mess and can’t get organized around her while she’s walking. She was on the move! We basically looked like this:

We are all trying to keep up with her and pose for our selfie, when suddenly she stops short with no warning. I almost trampled her! It was almost like this:

But thank goodness for our quick cat-like reflexes that we were all able to stop before knocking her over, otherwise all of Tumblr would have our heads!! She stops and smiles for the camera but my friend keeps moving because he’s slightly in front of her trying to take the selfie and doesn’t notice she stopped. We yelled “Get back here. SHE STOPPED!” He comes running back, we all get lined up, and he’s just about to take the picture, when suddenly Christen laughs and starts moving again a split second before he takes it. We literally just lined ourselves up perfectly, which she can see in the camera, and then took off right before he could press the button!! Rude!! Exhibit A:

We yelled NOOO KEEP MOVING! SHES ON THE MOVE!! She is actually laughing to herself. Girl knows exactly what she did; she’s just messing with us! We continue to walk with her and managed to get a beautiful but blurry picture. Exhibit B:

Clearly Charitable Queen Press was concerned that we would be outshone by her beauty so she left at the last second to spare us the embarrassment. Thanks girl!

tl;dr Comedian Christen Press intentionally messed with us during our picture and laughed to herself as she walked away. I think she liked us!