to make a mordecai

Roland; It’s nice to finally be out on a mission, just us guys.

Brick; Forget the guys talk. I’m here to meet touch, and/or become a unicorn.

Mordecai; I hear if you lick a unicorn’s neck, it tastes like your favorite flavor in the world!

Roland; Mordecai, I will make sure you lick that unicorn’s neck. Because I care about my friends.

Yo dawgs, I’m a huge fucking dweebus and I’ve written a backstory for a character I’m gonna be using in a DnD campaign in the near future.

I’ve never really written a backstory before, so could anyone who knows how to write stuff give this a once-over? It’s not important that it’s the most incredible and perfect backstory in the world, but inconsistencies and things that are superfluous need to be spotted.

Plus I wanted to share it cuz I think it’s kinda cool.

I’m off to school, so I’ll be able to respond to any messages when I get back in a few hours. Thanks!

Keep reading

5

And then Rigby proceeded to vomit all over Mordecai’s bed, and his bathroom, and on him as well. So Mordecai couldn’t make it to his morning class because he had to do a quick laundry run. That’s the last time Mordecai threw an impromptu dorm party as well.

Ask and you shall receive. Also college AU incorporation because why not? Ahaha, thank you for the message!! Q q Q

The Scarlet Letter

The first time he sees her, he’s just released from the doppelgänger program to be moonshot to Elpis, his clothes fresh and his face new and unused. He acts the “handsome asshole with bravado” part quite well, if he says so himself; the swagger looks just right on his fit figure, hands casually in his pockets like he owns the damn place.

But then he sees her.

The colorful lights of the bar caress her pale skin, bringing out her perfect curves; he can’t take his eyes off of the bar owner, her merciless chest, the tiny dress hugging her body, and that voluptuous smile gracing her gorgeous face.

He should be saying something, cracking a joke about how she’s Jack’s ex- or hell, complimenting her, even… But he’s simply speechless, so it’s no surprise that the only sound leaving him is a strangled gurgle. Nisha throws a glare in his way, tipping her hat low and approaching the bar; she rolls her eyes at Timothy’s dumbstruck expression and shares an amused look with Wilhelm before she dives in, peppering Moxxi’s ego with insults. Timothy shakes himself, shedding his reverie like one wakes up from sleep and he interrupts the kinky cowgirl, “Fuck off, Nish! If you’ll get nasty like that, go get yourself a drink and shut up.”

The way Nisha is looking at him speaks a thousand words, like “I’d snap your fucking head if I wasn’t so amused by your show of bravery.” or “You’re lucky you’re Jack’s doppelgänger or I would’ve torn your face off by now.”

The way Moxxi is looking at him, though… Her electric blue eyes shine with amusement and appreciation alike, the angry snarl directed towards Nisha now changed into a pleased little smile, reserved just for him. Looking at the bar owner, Timothy can feel his face burn up in crimson.

Gosh, he’s so embarrassed.

The second time he sees her, the mood is much darker although the scenery is the same. The so-called betrayal of Moxxi, Lilith and Roland left behind long ago, the Vault of the Sentinel has been raided dry; Jack has received the accursed visions, engraved every little detail in the ever-scheming brain of his and dethroned Tassiter just a week ago. Claptrap’s done for, Athena has quit, a very-bored Aurelia following her not much later. That leaves Nisha, Wilhelm and Timothy to deal with Jack’s crazed shenanigans. Juuuuust lovely.

Wilhelm makes his way to the R&D department to let them work on his future robotic enhancements and Jack departs with Nisha for Pandora to take over Lynchwood.

Not before he leaves a gift for Timothy, however.

Thinking back, Timothy is certain that “gift” is for Jack rather than for him; after all, the doppelgänger was the one left screaming in pain on the floor with Jack looming over him with a manic smile on his lips and a brand in his hands.

The moment Jack abandons Timothy to have fun (A.K.A. wreak havoc on Pandora) with his new girlfriend, the doppelgänger abandons Helios to wander around Elpis aimlessly until his feet drag him into Moxxi’s bar, his clothes crumpled, the scar on his face new and hurting like a bitch.

Pulling his hood lower onto his offensive face, he makes his way to the bar and the absence of his usual polite-and-cheerful attitude immediately alarms the bar owner. She can’t look past the shadows of his hood, and it takes a good deal of coaxing to get his head up just an inch.

And then she sees it.

They end up in the backroom Moxxi uses as her lodging whenever she’s running the bar on Elpis, the woman shaking with fury as opposed to Timothy’s cold nonchalance and resignation. She demands answers, just like he expected her to do, barely able to contain her frustrated screams at Jack’s boldness. He’s just silent, sitting on the edge of Moxxi’s bed sized just for a queen like her, eyes looking at a spot in the wall and unseeing.

She eventually sits down next to him, rubbing soothing circles on his back and tries to get him to do something, to talk, to scream, to cry… she just wants him to stop bottling up his emotions so.

But he feels so, so embarrassed.

“It’s not your fault.” she murmurs, carding her long thin fingers through his disheveled hair and thinking how easily he revels in the gesture Jack hated so much. He was supposed to be a face like Jack’s and nothing more, but he’s a completely different human being under all the plastic surgery and training; she falls for him a little just by watching him there, the deep bass of the club providing background noise, albeit muffled. “You’re a wonderful person, and you deserve none of this.”

His head snaps up and he looks at her disbelievingly, “I do! I asked for all this when I signed up for this shit!”

She can understand how he feels, “You couldn’t have known. Don’t be embarrassed.” She knows, she knows, and that makes him feel all the worse. He ends up sliding off the bed onto the floor nevertheless, his aching face buried in her lap in hopes for alleviation her gentle hands could provide.

He leaves her and her bar after a while, eyes puffed up and sniffing, his hood back on his head as he heads out. He’ll have to return to Helios eventually, he has a tight schedule since Jack will be back soon, but he still has some time to clear his head. She knows it too, so Moxxi sees him off with a sad smile and a friendly advice, “Hubris is the downfall of a person, but humility is no better.”

The third time is the charm, and they see each other in conditions that are much different when they meet all these years later. Timothy is working for the CEO of the biggest company around, but it’s not Hyperion anymore. The guy who goes by the humble name of Rhys is a much better boss than Jack could even dream of becoming; and he knows how much Timothy has suffered in the hands of the said man, having housed him in his head in the form of a distorted AI. So it’s no surprise when Rhys sends Timothy to Moxxi with an offer: Come open up shop in Serenity, the city we built over Opportunity as Atlas, for a better future. Flashy, just like the young CEO himself, if you ask Timothy, but both men know it’ll make Moxxi interested; they’re asking her for her bar and her mechanic excellency alike, after all.

So, here he stands, in the middle of Moxxi’s bar up on Sanctuary with Brick and Mordecai sent to accompany him by Lilith; they still don’t trust him after all these years, and he can’t really blame them. He doesn’t mind their presence either, it keeps the curious residents of the floating city away from him; no questions about his face or voice dared to be asked. When he sees her, he’s as stupefied as he was all those years ago on Elpis; his clothes worn off from age and violence just like his face, but Moxxi seems unchanged as opposed to him with her lovely purple dress worshipping her curves and with her electric blue eyes.

She seems surprised to see him, because of all the years they remained apart without communication or because he’s brave enough to set foot in Lilith’s city, he does not know. He bets on both as he settles in a bar chair, the other vault hunters sitting on either side of him like menacing bouncers (who’s protecting who, and from whom at this point? He just doesn’t know). He orders a drink he knows he won’t touch, he’s not really into alcohol (Jack called him “a pansy” along with many other insulting slurs in the past for it); plus, the sight in front of him and the mission he’s on are much more interesting to him.

“Hey.” he greets her, still feeling a little tongue-tied after all these years. He gives her a genuine smile and offers his hands to her across the counter. Her surprise morphs into joy and she leans to put her hands in his, his order long forgotten. Brick and Mordecai make gagging sounds (especially Mordecai, glaring at him all the while he makes sure how much he hates the scene he’s witnessing. Right, Moxxi’s exes.), but Timothy and Moxxi simply end up giggling at the reaction.

She smiles at him and he can feel his soul being cleansed of his sins with that gesture alone. “It’s been so long.” she whispers and he nods, “What brings you here, Tim?”

“An offer, actually.” Moxxi raises a curious eyebrow and lets out an interested hum. “I work for Atlas now, and the CEO himself has a proposal. Gosh, don’t look at me like that, Moxxi; unlike the last one, this one isn’t a narcissistic asshole with a high killstreak.” That gets a laugh out of the three of them and Timothy counts that as a win. “He wants you to set up a bar in Serenity, he thinks it’ll be a good way to draw people to the city. If you’re interested in an Atlas city, it can’t be bad, right?” He smiles at her, quirking an eyebrow. “He also wants you to open a shop that’s similar to uh…” he coughs, embarrassed, “To Scooter’s.” The hands in his grasp tense for a moment, a look passing Moxxi’s eyes. “Rhys knew Scooter, says he was one helluva guy, talented and fun and all that.” He gives Moxxi’s hands an encouraging squeeze and the bar owner graces him with a proud smile.

“That’s Scooter, alright, that’s my son.” she replies, head held high and not a tear shed. She’s a strong woman, and Timothy knows he’s fallen hard for her yet again. She relaxes, looking into Timothy’s eyes, “That’s what your CEO wants. What do you want?”

The ex-doppelgänger smiles at her with a loving expression, “I just want you to be happy.” (“Booooooooooriiiiiiiing!” Brick moans in the background.)

But Moxxi gives him a matching smile, and he’s over the moon, “How about… We talk about this over dinner?”

Timothy sputters, along with the other vault hunters, “D-dinner?” Ah, there he is, the shy, polite guy she met all those years ago. She chuckles, “A big offer like that can’t be discussed over alcohol, can it? Plus, I really, really missed you.”

That deep, sultry tone, that voluptuous smile he came to associate with her, those electric blue eyes darkening with promises not said aloud… That does it for him, and he ends up feeling embarrassed once again, crimson dusting his cheeks like it did the moment they met all those years ago. “I-“ he clears his throat, ‘cause wow, it’s getting hot in here and his throat is perched, “I’d love that, Moxxi.”

Two weeks later, Moxxi sets up two shops in Serenity, enrapturing the residents easily with her bar and mechanic shop alike. She works awfully close to apartment complex Timothy resides in, but nobody makes a mention of it.

And if she ends up unofficially moving in with him eventually, sharing his food, his shower, his bed and his love, none of them is complaining.


 This request is great and you’re great, @torrarina!

✪ Musician AU where Mordecai and Rigby are a local band that gets recognized but the talent scout only wants Mordecai for a band he’s putting together. Mordecai being blindsided by success accepts the offer, and Rigby feels rejected and betrayed as shit. They make a big scene about who puts in more work and who’s really carrying all the weight in the band. So when Mordecai joins the new band he’s a little confused as to why they don’t listen to him/take his suggestions even though he’s the lead and the talent scout basically implies that he only picked Mordecai because he had the right look. So Rigby remains with his local band and takes the spot as lead and does all the writing since Mordecai isn’t around to help with that, and he’s actually really good, and the band gets more recognition. Then of course the day comes where Rigby’s band has to open for Mordecai’s band and that’s when Mordecai hears how much better the band sounds with out him, and is really upset and jealous especially because Rigby has a couple of pretty “romantic” songs, and it turns out Rigby had a better voice so Mordecai wonders why he ever let him lead because in the first place. After the show is over they pass each other backstage and a fight breaks out between them after Mordecai makes a comment about Rigby’s breaking his rule about not writing shitty love songs for girls, and Rigby calls Mordecai a brainless, sell out. They’re pulled apart by their band mates and Rigby just shoves everyone off and turns to leave, and Mordecai just keeps shouting at him, saying he’ll never be more than an opener and Rigby just keeps walking middle fingers in the air. And one of Rigby’s band mates tells Mordecai he should cool it because Rigby dedicated their first EP to him and Mordecai is really confused. So the band mate gives Mordecai a copy of their tape and when he goes home to listen to it, it all clicks and he feels like a tool because Rigby wrote all those “stupid love” songs about him. And then Mordecai goes to a local performance a couple of weeks later where Rigby is just doing solo acoustic stuff, and he’s all “Oh no, I’ve caught feelings." ʕ; •`ᴥ•´ʔ ✪

Bonus doodles because Mordecai in glitter jacket = yes. Also after and before they split because also yes.

Patrica tannis: If you’re ever having a bad day please remember that the raptor sounds in Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
Gaige:
Axton:
Salvador:
Kreig:
Maya:
Zer0:
Brick:
Lilith:
Mordecai:
Claptrap: why would that make us feel better???

  • Mordecai: Man, finding the right woman is impossible.
  • Rigby: Did you ever think it's not a woman that you need, bro?
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: You know that actually makes a lot of sense.
  • Rigby: Wanna bang?
  • Mordecai: Eh, there's a first time for everything.
  • Rigby: AWESOME! I've only wanted to do this with you FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS.
  • Cloudycai shippers: Mordecai would be really happy with CJ!
  • Mordegret shippers: um excuse you Mordecai would be so much better off with Margaret, they've known each other longer!
  • Morby shippers: But who has he known longer than Margaret? That's right, Rigby. Draw your own conclusions but the writing is on the wall, they're gay.
  • Mordeson shippers: Mordecai is gay, but he's totally gay for Benson. Benson loves Mordecai and it's so obvious Mordecai loves Benson as well.
  • Show: lol
  • *makes Mordecai end up with some girl nobody has ever seen or heard of until the final episode aired*
  • Everyone: wait what
  • Show: you can go home now :)