You asked for it. When the Scot Ties The Knot AU. 😜
okay, bit of background. we were talkin in discord about scottish twitter, which then transmuted into a talk about scottish romance novels, and then i brought up the greatest romance novel premise i’ve ever heard of: when a scot ties the knot by tessa dare. i’ve never actually read this book besides the back cover and some choice passages from my friend @galpaladvns who got it for her birthday or smth (all i really remember from that night was @funnythingsandphysics hunting through the pages for the smut which apparently took ¾ths of the book to get to?) but basically….. what happens next is the rough premise of the book, but viktuuri. and (very heavily winged) historical, because @kazliin and i are in agreement that there should be more period drama viktuuri anyway
When a Russian is Rushin’ to Marry: Or, the Unexpected Consequences of Inventing a Boyfriend
“I’m so jealous of you,” Phichit laments as he helps Yuuri get ready for the evening’s events. “I remember my first season like it was yesterday. Everything’s so exciting and bright your first time around; I wish I could experience it again!”
Yuuri says nothing, only turns slightly to watch the way the light catches on his blue brocade waistcoat in the mirror. “I don’t know,” he admits after a moment. “I’m probably going to be dreadfully old, especially in comparison to young Mr Plisetsky who’s also debuting this season.”
“Well, sometimes people like a late bloomer,” Phichit chides, patting his forearm. “Now turn, so I can help with your ascot.”
Yuuri lets him adjust the silken material with a weary sigh. He’d been putting off his entrance into society for as long as could be deemed socially acceptable, mostly for his nerves. But with each passing season, his parents would get more and more concerned that he wouldn’t marry and settle down, and eventually he’d caved. Tonight’s soiree would mark his debut, and it was about as quiet an affair as he could manage. Still, the thought of being approached tonight with potential suitors continues to threaten to overwhelm him at any given moment.
“Deep breaths, Yuuri,” Phichit offers kindly as he pats at his now properly-tied ascot. “You’re going to be just fine.”
“You sound more confident about this than I feel,” Yuuri retorts. Phichit helps him into his tailcoat with a grin.
“You’re a divine dancer, Yuuri,” he points out. “Who could say no to you?”
Speaking Threads: New Evidence about the Mysterious Incan Quipus
Quipus were tied strings used widely in the Incan Empire. We know they were used for record keeping – counting people and livestock and potatoes – but it has long been speculated that the quipus might have been used for storing more complicated information. Could knotted strings have been their writing system? New evidence suggests it was, at minimum, possible. Two quipus have been protected by one remote Andean village since around the time of the Spanish conquest. San Juan de Collata’s village elders recently invited a researcher to study the two quipus the community had carefully preserved for generations.
Warnings: Okay… So it starts of with SMUT - I know it’s weird to imagine yourself in Bucky’s body but I can’t see a way round it - there had to be a hand job. There’s also sexual content and swearing.
A/N: Well, riding on a wave of inspiration that hit me like a train yesterday here’s another big chapter from me. I hope this fic is still making you smile and want more?
After yet another awkward interaction with Steve, a cold shower sounded like a good option. You needed to calm down quickly, otherwise he’s only going to suspect something more serious is going on. And who knows how long you’d be able to keep up the pretences?
Physically - the cold shower seemed to help, but mentally - you still couldn’t shake off the constant dirty thoughts about Steve. Not sure how long this charade would continue, you needed to find a better way of managing your constant arousal. Maybe Bucky was right and you needed some release?
“What is his problem?” Louis demanded as he stalked around Niall and Ed’s kitchen. They were gonna have a pow-wow and figure out what was going on with Harry.
“Maybe he can’t pop a knot?” Niall suggested.
“Ew,” Liam said.
“Doubtful,” Louis said. “He seemed perfectly fine up until his friend pulled him off of me. Also I may have called him a knothead earlier in the night and he didn’t make a single comment to me about it.”
AKA Louis thought after meeting Harry at a party everything would fall into place. If only life worked out that nicely.
i just want to take this moment to imagine 20(?) year old Ichigo Kurosaki pining so much over Orihime that his friend who is literally a spirit living in a different world noticed and told him to confess his feelings
Take a length of twine and make small simple knots around nine fingers, I
avoided the ring finger because in my case it’s already bound.
Alternatively for more oomph you could knot around each of your ankles,
then your wrists, your big toes, your thumbs, and your head. Each time
slip the knot off before tightening it completely around “nothing”. In
the end you should have a length of twine with nine knots. (Do not lose
this twine, it is a magical representation of you until you finish the
spell and give it it’s purpose.)
Take the twine with nine knots and recite this while one by one untying the knots:
You have had me bound,
Knotted up, but no longer
Your fetters I have found
My will has grown stronger
I undo by nine,
and bind your spell to this twine
I unfasten by eight,
I turn back your hate
I unwind by seven,
this weight gone my spirits leaven
I untwist by six,
I am on to your tricks
I unbind by five,
your magic shall not thrive
I unmake by four,
your craft harms me no more
I unravel by three,
your curse turned back to thee
I unknot by two,
your spell is through
I untie by one,
your work is undone
HitsuKarin, platonics galore, some RenShuuKiraHina because it’s my new weakness. Mentions of smoking, self injury, suicide/suicidal ideation, & violence.
Toushirou and Ichigo go straight to Shunsui after Karin’s death to have her entrance into the academy expedited. Ichigo and Toushirou refuse to have Karin spend any amount of time in the Rukongai. Thankfully, because of Karin’s blood relation to Ichigo and a former captain, she is allowed to live in the Seireitei until the new semester starts at Shin’ou and she is allowed to enter without an exam.
Toushirou doesn’t want scandal surrounding Karin so soon after her death, so instead of Karin staying with him she stays with Momo, Izuru, Shuuhei, and Renji since they’re the only people outside of Rangiku he trusts enough during Karin’s precarious mental state to take care of her. Although both Momo and Rangiku offered their residences for Karin to crash at, Karin elected to stay with Momo & her spouses because of the greater amount of support at Momo’s place.
Karin & Izuru develop a very strong bond. Izuru sees a lot of himself in Karin’s suicidal ideation & self-injury. I don’t think Izuru could actively assist in Karin’s healing the same way Momo does since he still has a lot of emotional turmoil over Gin & the loss of his arm & lung, but Izuru & Karin do get along very well because of their mutual understanding.
Karin’s suicide & familial legacy is kept under lock and key upon her request. The only people in the Seireitei that ever know Karin killed herself are Toushirou, Momo, Izuru, and Shunsui.
Momo is not comfortable leaving Karin alone while everybody’s at work, so Shuuhei, Momo, Renji, & Izuru take turns sitting her. Karin develops a number of relationships with ranked officers before she starts in the academy because of this. Her favorites (outside of those four, of course) are Rangiku, Mashiro, Shinji, Roujuurou, Lisa, Tetsuzaemon, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Nanao, Byakuya, & a number of lower-seated officers.
Karin gets this kouhai-crush on Shuuhei that’s almost as bad as her infatuation with Momo. Nobody ever finds out any exact reasons for Karin’s admiration for Shuuhei, but Momo things it’s because he’s her senpai which makes him just as cool as Momo. Karin’s infatuation initially makes Shuuhei really uncomfortable, but after Karin figures out his limits– namely minding Shuuhei’s personal space– they start getting along splendidly.
Karin starts out with a lot of behavioral problems in the academy. Shunsui calls her in about it. The meeting is very, very calm, thankfully. Shunsui asks Karin why she’s acting out & Karin initially says she doesn’t know. They work towards her special treatment that resulted from her relationships with the upper echelon of shinigami. Shunsui tells Karin that it is special treatment, but it’s not her relationship to Ichigo or Toushirou & Momo that has fostered those opportunities but her own personality. Karin’s behavioral problems stop after that.
Karin turns out to be exceptional in battle after she gets over her initial fear of swords. Since she already has copious experience fighting against hollows as an adolescent, she is top in her class in hand-to-hand combat & zanjutsu after she gets over her initial fear of swords. She is so exceptional in fact that her instructors have to ask lieutenant-level officers to specially train her & she gives all of them a run for their money.
After Karin obtains her zanpakutou, her last years in the academy are dedicated to improving her kidou skills. Momo starts tutoring Karin her fifth year in the academy. It’s vicious training, but it proves to work. Momo starts with Karin’s shoddy reiryoku output by making Karin levitate explosive beads which detonate at sudden movement. Karin nearly blows off her hands, but her output is fixed in about three days. After that, Momo and Karin work on Karin’s casting. Momo takes away Karin’s sword in order to leave her only means of offense and defense against Tobiume, hoping to force Karin to adapt. Karin’s eyes are injured & later healed, but she develops very strong bakudo because of this & in the space of a day and a half.
Karin’s zanpakutou Nashien is an extremely volatile fire-type zanpakutou. Nashien’s fire is almost as hot as Yamamoto’s were, only Nashien proves to be more homicidal than Yamamoto’s totally-incinerating zanpakutou since it only burns souls. Because of Nashien’s powers & Karin’s outstanding zanjutsu skills, only lieutenants and above are allowed to spar with Karin when her zanpakutou is released because of its lethal potential. The smoke Nashien gives off turns out to be as deadly as her fire. Karin has heard that all ranked officers have been given gas masks in case of emergency but nobody confirms these rumors for her.
Karin attains a new level of hatred for Isshin & Ichigo after she learns about her father’s former positon & that Ichigo has nearly died a number of times. She’s offended that they didn’t care enough to tell her absolutely relevant things. While her spite eventually fades, Karin has no further qualms about leaving her father and brother. Even after Isshin and Ichigo die & become shinigami themselves, she is grateful that she has little contact with them. Yuzu, however, she will always miss. Karin & Yuzu never meet after Yuzu’s death.
There was a huge tug-of-war over Karin between a number of divisions after Karin graduated– namely between the fifth & the third. Karin would receive a seated position no matter where she went. Because of her proficiency, Karin got a say in where she could go & she was placed as a sixth seat in the fifth. Karin quickly replaces the fourth seat just months later.
Everybody knows that Karin & Toushirou are together the minute they’re seen together. It’s not that Toushirou isn’t ever with girls, it’s that he’s actually smiling around her.
Toushirou gets advice how to comfort Karin just after her suicide from Renji since Renji has very gracefully handled Shuuhei, Momo, & Izuru’s emotional problems after Sousuke & Co.’s desertion.
Toushirou will never admit it, but he’s elated that Karin died. It’s mostly because he gets to see her more but he’s also glad Karin finally feels fulfilled & loved in the Seireitei.
The tenth division loves Karin. Toushirou is less temperamental when she’s around so the atmosphere is more relaxed. However, they get walked in on when they’re making out once. That officer is wise enough to keep quiet.
The minute Rangiku & Karin meet Toushirou know’s he’s done. Those two make an actual game seeing who can make him blush the most. There’s never any decipherable winner but it’s sure funny watching Toushirou turn redder and redder.
Toushirou proposes to Karin after she graduates. They plan on a simple, private wedding, with only a handful of close friends. Their wedding is crashed by the majority of the Seireitei. Karin & Toushirou don’t mind, but Momo is furious since there isn’t any food left for actual guests. She almost blows off a number of people’s heads after they go near the cake. No, really, it takes Renji & Shuuhei to hold Momo back.
I have iron in my forearms which makes my blood shine to those who draw it and you have magnetic poles; sterling bars all across your quite covetous treasures.
I have porcelain shards jangling inside of my shoes because this bluntly forceful, traumatic world unsettles me so vastly, I’d burn myself at both ends just to light a fire in you and feel some semblance of warmth.
I want to have this whole but
I have to be more slip of slide instead of teeter of totter, not a teether or a bother, and a lot more of lever and too little of lover. I cannot pretend forever.
I would hold on too tightly to your bone shoulder blades, cut my fleshy hands, and have deep lacerations from all love’s fractures and all life’s faultlines.
And despite all of that,
I have a lighthouse vantage point in constant search for you through thickets of filth and fog and you have house light eyes that yield me when of blackened state and welcome me with your warm glow.