to drown the world

anonymous asked:

how would s76 react to s/o showing her love by offering sweaters or scarf (like she knit and she is super introvert so she does what she knows to try to get his attention) and like she puts the gifts in sort of secret but one day he see her knit and she stress a lot cause shit he knows now (or something like that) (btw young s/o and female pronouns if you can ^-^ )

That request is really adorable, dear Anon! :3 Thank you so much! We hope you enjoy it ^-^

The first time he found one of the carefully wrapped packages in front of his office door after a long, tiring mission, he was utterly confused. He hadn’t ordered anything, he was sure of that. It appeared to be some sort of gift, something he wasn’t used to getting, especially since it wasn’t even his birthday. Sure, twenty years ago there were days when he was drowning in packages from admirers all over the world but now he was completely forgotten. The poster boy was dead. He was dead, except to the few people who found out about his identity.
Soldier: 76 wasn’t someone who got gifts, let alone deserved them, in his opinion.
Yet, he got one. This present, sent by an unknown person, was obviously meant for him since his name was neatly written on the top. Jack’s surprise only rose when he opened it to find a knitted scarf. It had a simple color and pattern, not too bright, not too special, not attracting too much unwanted attention. It seemed perfect for him. Even though it was extremely impractical considering his field of work, he couldn’t ignore how comfortable and soft the fabric felt when he ran his fingers over the material.
So he kept it. And he kept all the other hand-knitted clothes he received ever since then.
Of course, he always questioned where they came from; there has never been a name of the sender on these packages. Jack had an idea who could have sent the gifts to him. Obviously, you were the first person that came to his mind but it didn’t quite add up for him. There was no one else who would give presents to him but why weren’t you giving them to him in person? He doubted his thoughts; you never struck him as a person who would enjoy knitting. Not with your age. It just didn’t seem fitting.
Jack never brought his suspicion up; he never confronted you as he wasn’t sure whether it would make you uncomfortable in any way. There had to be a reason why you kept this a secret if it really was you.

As oblivious as the man was, his assumptions were right.
Each time Jack went on a longer mission, you spent the lonely evenings and nights knitting, sometimes for multiple hours at a time. It helped you relax and for a while, you were able to forget the lonesomeness slowly consuming your heart whenever he was gone. You always placed the wrapped clothes in front of his office about an hour before he was set to return to make sure he wasn’t going to catch you in the act. Sure, you could have given them to him personally but you were too afraid to do so; the thought of him finding your hobby silly and ridiculous scared you even though he seemed to enjoy his gifts a lot. Whenever he was off work, he wore one of your precious hand-knitted garments. Jack was barely seen without one of the many pieces you had made for him. Still, you were aware that knitting didn’t seem quite fitting for a person your age, keeping it a secret was the most comfortable option for now.  Watching him wear your presents was enough for you; it assured you that they really seemed to mean a lot to him. It was fine the way it was. 

On another one of those lonely days, you found yourself sitting in the common room, chatting with Ana and Reinhardt, a half-finished sweater in your hands. Jack had left on a mission around a week ago and wasn’t supposed to return until tomorrow evening.
Ana had found out about your hobby shortly after Jack started wearing the knitted clothes. She barged into your room to assign you to an extremely urgent mission, too urgent to knock on your door and prepare you for her arrival, and found you sitting on your bed, working on a pair of gloves. She had laughed at the sight for a second, not because she found it weird but because she thought it was adorable. After that encounter, she had started to give you a few tips and even taught you a few new patterns so you’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately.
You didn’t mind Ana knowing, she has been very supportive and so was the German man who had found Ana teaching you some tricks one night. 

You were currently talking about your last training session with the older woman when she suddenly brought up a fact you’ve been trying to ignore.

“You know, Jack is going to find about it eventually, sweetie. If he hasn’t already” she mentioned, nodding towards the knitting needles in your hand. You were aware of that, you probably wouldn’t be able to hide it forever but so far the odds had been in your favor.

“I’ve been doing it for almost half a year now and he’s never brought it up. I don’t think he’s got a clue at the moment.”
Your words were full of confidence but there were doubts in your mind. He might have not addressed the topic yet but even Jack Morrison couldn’t be that oblivious, could he? You sighed inwardly, hoping that you would be able to hold on to that secret for a little longer. But destiny had other plans.

“Let’s not have her worry about it too much, Ana! We should enjoy this evening! Anyway, I believe hell would have to freeze over for him to actually find out about it.” The gentle giant laughed loudly and gave you a pat on the back.

“For who to find out about what?”

You almost dropped the knitting needles when you heard the familiar voice from behind you.
Jack had just entered the room and thrown his duffel bag into the corner before stopping behind the sofa and looking down at you.
You instantly felt the heat rising to your cheeks and desperately tried to hide your red face behind your hands. So much about keeping a secret.

“Speaking of the devil!” shouted Reinhardt in laughter, you would have probably seen him holding his stomach if your eyes weren’t covered. Ana was barely able to stifle her laughs but at least she tried not to make her amusement too obvious.

As Jack saw the knitting equipment in your hands as well as your blushing cheeks, he understood. He slowly went around the sofa and stopped in front of you, muttering a quiet “I knew it” more to himself than the other people in the room. You still had your hands over your face, not being able to gain enough confidence to look up at him. That was until you felt two strong arms embrace your body and the smell of sweat mixed with Jack’s cologne filled your nose. Your eyes widened in surprise.
“You could have told me, you know?” he whispered into your ear, his face nuzzled into your hair.
“I’m so sorry, I was just so worried that you’d find it silly or weird so I was too scared to really tell you, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to hide it from you but I was so stressed and-“ you kept rambling and felt his hands slowly running up and down your back to calm you down.

“It’s okay, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I appreciate your hard work, a lot. I’ve never had anyone do that for me so thank you.”

You shyly nodded as he gave you a loving kiss on the top of your head. 

I can smell her on the wind

The thunderstorm outside
sounds like her
smells like her
tastes like her

She is rumbling and roaring nature
Pouring down
Drowning out sighs
Cleansing the world below

These are not tears
These are weapons.
Her arsenal against the quiet depression
Her armor against the pain

I am convinced that this storm is her
and that this is the closest we’ll ever be
and that this won’t be the last poem
I write about her, and rain, and distance

Cement Shoes as a Fashion Statement

(another poem from my collection, Screamo Lullabies available now on Amazon!

Anxieties metastasize from my brain
and push into my skull,
soon to break free
and drown the world in recrement.
I’m shaking,
seeing lights on the ceiling
crawling towards me
with intensifying flashes.
I run to the mirror,
see the future:
hair incinerating,
skin rusting,
blood carbonating
out of protest
of everything that could be.
I can no longer bite my tongue.
I can no longer function.
I can no longer handle my own life.
It has become a gun I shove into my mouth
for nourishment.
My existence is a slapstick comedy,
a twenty-eight-year build up
to a brief punchline
that falls flat.
All this worry is a circle eating itself
I’m going to smash every clock
with my bare hands,
spend the rest of my days
picking the glass from my palms
with rotted teeth.
I’ll never know
what else to do with myself.

The sun signs as I've experienced them

Aries- one more round of shots. Running over a bridge at sunrise. Fighting with people you love, 60′s mod clothes and bloody knuckles, hugs with tears in your eyes and short hair blowing in the breeze. Making you feel like you’re in an exclusive clique. 

Taurus- warm hugs and blankets. A feeling of belonging. Two types- the ones who slay at life and are everyone’s older sibling and the ones who are complete diamonds in the rough. Chocolate and kisses on your cheek that leave perfect lipstick marks. Little boxes full of memories. Subtle perfume that makes you calmer. 

Pisces- stargazing, lullabies and heartbreak. Poems that you think of at 3am. Acoustic guitars. John green novels. Origami and shy giggles. The most open conversations that make you see new beauty in the world. Sighing when you’re lost for words. 

Leo- crushing like you’re in middle school. Laughing until your ribs ache and your nose runs. Camaraderie, perfectly rolled cigarettes and lungs full of pride. Sitting on someone’s lap and feeling comfy there. Bringing a subtle gold glow of happiness to the room. Secret handshakes and in-jokes. 

Capricorn- the type of rare people I don’t get to be friends with but wish I was. Knee high socks and the freshly mown grass of a school running track. bubblemint chewing gum and soft k-pop ballads on a sunny morning. Box braided hair and constellation freckles. 

Libra- having your hair played with. Bags full of things people always need. Singing along to the car radio loudly and with all the wrong lyrics. Never knowing what to say but always being there when things are rough. Soft jumpers and smiling with one corner of your mouth. 

Virgo- always running a hand through your hair when you see a mirror. Having a system for all your things that nobody gets. New book smell and bear hugs. Tears that come from nowhere. The feeling of getting the best view at the concert. 

Cancer- pinkie promises and taking polaroids. Biting nails and fretting the small things. Friends that feel like family. The feeling of sand between your toes and staying up all night talking. Blanket forts and feeling frustrated. Celebrating the best in people. 

Sagittarius- the thump in your chest when you see someone beautiful. Tears that sting your eyes and turn them red. Friends to the end, even when you change and grow. Second chances, driving with the windows down at night with your anthems playing. Muttering under your breath in your first language.

Gemini- fixing your computer in exchange for home cooking. Whispers during drinking games and being told what you don’t always want to hear. Spooning with friends. Shiny glasses, worn dance shoes and carpooling with your best friends. Feeling inadequate. Jumping on beds and sharing secrets. 

Scorpio- the feeling of arriving right as the train does. Marble floors and soothing incense. Wishing your friends lived closer. Getting ready for a party and dancing around the room. Being wild beyond measure but always staying safe. Taking naps with people you love. 

Aquarius- people watching over coffee. Interlocking fingers and pastel coloured post it notes. Comfy bean bags in libraries with fascinating rare books. Softly tracing skin. Stern looks and lip biting. Not getting the joke the first time round. Drowning out the world with headphones.

Te vi mirándola, como si ella te diera el mundo que siempre esperaste tener, y por primera vez... Sé cómo se siente ahogarte a pesar de estar fuera del océano.

I find it hard to breath.

As she stared in awe at the sketch hanging on the wall of his room, he gazed, spellbound, at her face. He noticed how her eyes would turn into the shape of a cashew when she smiled, and somehow he was left breathless.

“Did you draw this?” She pointed to the sketch. It was a rough sketch of an empty street. One of his favorite.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Wow,” she said, admiring his work,

“How did you even come up with this? It’s so simple yet so beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off it.”

“Well, that’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask the universe.”

“Hmm?” She blinked at him, not having a single clue on what he was saying.

“You,” he began, “how did the universe come up with someone like you?”

“With just a smile, you effortlessly drowned the weight of the world on my shoulders. With just a look, you simply take all of my breath away,”

“And I really, really can’t take my eyes off you.”

—  Lukas W. // Forgotten Words #148 // Can’t take my eyes off you
No one in my family, not one of my friends or classmates realized that I was going through life asleep. It was literally true: I was going through life asleep. My body had no more feeling than a drowned corpse. My very existence, my life in the world, seemed like a hallucination. A strong wind would make me think my body was about to be blown to the end of the earth, to some land I had never seen or heard of, where my mind and body would separate forever. ‘Hold tight’, I would tell myself, but there was nothing for me to hold on to.
—  Haruki Murakami
Sign Splicers

When your sun unites with your moon, ascendant, and/or dominant element, you get a Sign Splicer. Here are the zodiac’s hybrid breeds…which one are you?

Fire + Fire: The Big Bang. You roar with passion, and your enthusiasm reverberates through the entire universe; it’s impossible to ignore your thundering presence (usually because you are very loud!). You have tremendous visions, and believe anything is possible if you want it bad enough. Never waiting or slowing down, you dream of an action-packed life full of glory and excitement that allows room for your showy self to shine. The amount of faith and hope you have makes you very childlike, and you are convinced that you are destined to be a hero. You rebel against reality of any kind, detest details, and can be quite self-involved.  

Earth + Earth: THE MEAT. You are in control of your senses, and the only thing real to you is your physical body. In fact, you draw your impressive strength from your rock solid core of stability. Nothing has the power to uproot you, as you are firmly fixed to reality. The material realm sustains you, impracticality confuses you, and chaos scares the crap out of you, because you don’t like being out of control. You are the base upon which all others stand, and your dependable, loyal nature makes weaker types rely on you. You can be overly skeptical of the things that supersede your senses, so it is important for you to be open to change.

Air + AirTHE THINKER. A fan favorite, you are civilized and cultured, and always have a bright comment or idea to add to a conversation. Independent in both action and word, you do as you like in order to reach total objectivity, but focusing solely on the intelligence causes you to lose touch with the reality of your humanity (emotions and body). Your observational skills always have you questioning and examining the various things that blow into your life, which makes communication a necessity. Friendly, open-minded, and completely cerebral, you shun any and everything that strikes you as illogical.

Water + Water: THE RAIN. The entire world washes over you, and sometimes drowns you, as you swim in the feelings and moods of everyone; this makes discernment extremely difficult. Highly sensitive with a tender heart and soul, you feel vulnerable 24/7. Instincts and imagination overpower your intellect, causing some irrationality, and this is worsened when you dwell on your emotions. You are a sentimentalist, and have a deep connection to your past, and nostalgia often consumes you. Because you frequently underestimate your own strength, you long for deep relationships that provide you with the stability and safe closeness you crave. 

Fire + Earth: The Bull-Dozer. The epitome of spirit and sense, you’ve got drive and determination to push through life as strongly and as quickly as possible. Your feet are glued to the ground as you strive to bring your wildest dreams to fruition; you see and seize the future with certitude. A commanding ego compels you to take charge, and you never shy away from authority, because you are all muscle, with the stamina to see things through the long haul. You need both freedom and stability, and can be massively creative. You are passionate and powerful, but this can make you a stubborn brute.

Fire + Air: The Rave. A discotheque personality with confidence, wonder and bright ideas help you communicate with ease and enthusiasm, you are charismatic and expressive. Dancing through life, you refuse to limit your potential, and you are always in pursuit of the newest and coolest things to help you grow. You’re always going at the speed of light in search of wide horizons, and you absolutely hate to be bored. Social interactions of all kinds ignite your idealism and imagination, and you always aim to be the center of attention. You need large amounts of freedom and space in your life, and you may be emotionally immature and somewhat superficial. 

Fire + Water: The Fusion. The ultimate blending of male and female, you are aggressive and sensitive, with fluctuating moods and temper flares. Wistful, imaginative, and spirited, you long for independence and flee from any form of containment, yet you yearn for emotional attachment. With an exposed heart, you radiate warmth, and flourish in strong relationships because they allow you to pour out your romanticism without abandon. You are emotionally intense and passionate. Self-control and objectivity are foreign to you, as you prefer to filter things through you directly, without rationality getting in the way. 

Air + Earth: THE MAMMAL. With your head in the clouds and your feet on the ground, you grip reality firmly, and organize and build your abstract ideas into something useful. You are a rational, practical person with a scientific mind that is chock full of innovation, and you desire to improve life on earth. You are a master of the soil, efficient and steady, with enough objectivity and forethought to bring your ideals into fruition. Intellectual, social and supportive, always in tune with your senses, you tend to ignore the mysterious realm of the emotions.  

Air + WaterTHE VAPOR.  Intellect and imagery, you communicate through your creativity, but your rich imagination floats in the sky, as you find bringing your ideas to form to be too strenuous. Both romantic and scientific, your heart and your mind take turns in decision making, and you get inspired by close connections with friends, but feel both a desire for intimacy, and a need for change. You can be incredibly insightful and deeply philosophical, but your detachment is tinted with your subjective view, which makes you a little biased. You yearn for more, and adapt to fit into the world, sometimes intellectualizing your feelings.

Earth + WaterTHE FERTILITY. Your lush imagination lends itself to your creative capabilities to produce lovely fruit. Your emotions and reality-awareness make you a wise and centered problem-solver, and thus, very resourceful. A domestic classicist who is very concerned with creating a nurturing net of safety and security, you make home life a priority. You are caring and quiet, highly romantic and artistic, and apply your sensitivity with determination. But you may be possessive of loved ones, and lack the objectivity that allows you to grow fully.

  • team rocket: let's steal some pokemon
  • team aqua/magma: hey man waking up a giant pokemon to destroy the world sounds nice do u prefer drowning or burning
  • team galactic: this world is impure and needs to be replaced with a perfect one but somehow we're gonna screw up and open a portal to a weird ass dimension
  • team plasma: humans are awful and we should liberate the pokemon oh wait just kidding we're just gonna steal them
  • team flare: this world is ugly af lets make it pretty but by being evil
A Lesson in Love (The Aftermath)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,817

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED. This part is small snippets of how the reader is feeling after the events of the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it 😊

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - you dedicate so much time to editing all of my fics and I am forever grateful to you for that

Originally posted by otabeksaltins

Forty Minutes Later

You read an article a few weeks ago about something called ‘dry drowning’. At the time, the prognosis seemed so strange. Whenever you heard the word 'drowning’, you associated it with water. That’s why you couldn’t comprehend how it could happen on land. It took a quick Google search to inform you that dry drowning was the lungs’ inability to extract oxygen from the air; it could happen just as easily on land as it could in the water.

As you sit on the floor with your arms still wrapped tightly around your body and your legs fast asleep, you realize that you’re drowning. The world is blurring into shapes you can’t make out and bright colors that make your eyes hurt. Your head is spinning. And your heart, oh your heart, it’s aching with loss. Abandonment. Rejection.

Rejection is a feeling you don’t know very well and one that is quite literally making you sick to your stomach. By avoiding relationships, you’ve avoided this. But there was only so long you could last before it found you. You might be biased or inexperienced, but you’re almost certain that it has sensed your vulnerability like a dog sniffs out fear and is using that to its advantage. It sees you trapped out in the ocean trying to keep yourself afloat and it’s like a merciless wave that refuses to let you get your bearings before knocking you under the surface again.

Keep reading

  • Aries: even when you undress her
  • you are searching for me
  • I am sorry I
  • taste so good that
  • when the two of you
  • make love it is
  • still my name
  • that rolls of your
  • tongue accidentally
  • Taurus: you look at me and cry
  • 'everything hurts'
  • i hold you and whisper
  • 'but everything can heal'
  • Gemini: it wasn't you I was kissing
  • -don't be mistaken
  • it was him on my mind, your lips were just convenient
  • Cancer: she is water
  • soft enough
  • to offer life
  • tough enough
  • to drown it away
  • Leo: the world
  • gives you
  • so much pain
  • and here you are
  • making gold out of it
  • Virgo: to hate
  • is an easy lazy thing
  • but to love
  • takes strength
  • everyone has
  • but not all are
  • willing to practice
  • Libra: do you need me or do you need someone,
  • there's a difference
  • Scorpio: the idea that we are
  • so capable of love
  • but still choose
  • to be toxic
  • Sagittarius: this place makes me
  • the kind of exhausted that has
  • nothing to do with sleep
  • and everything to do with the people around me
  • Capricorn: the day you have everything
  • I hope you remember
  • when you had nothing
  • Aquarius: perhaps I don't deserve
  • nice things cause I am
  • paying for sins I don't
  • remember
  • Pisces: like the sky
  • my beloved is everywhere
  • but next to me
  • -
  • --
  • Never do posts like these so reblog if you want more