to be where there's life

7

deleted scene from x men first class

(insp.)

bonus:

what you gon do now charl

anonymous asked:

Hey uhh... I don't wanna bother you...but... is it bad that I want to live despite not being worthy of living? I feel like I'm dying inside and I shouldn't be. I have an ok job,my family love me, and I have good friends... So why do I feel like if I died everyone would be happier without me? I've tried to find ways to "leave" but whenever I do I get scared and back down,then I yell at myself for being selfish for wanting to live.

no, buddy, thats not bad at all. thats a good thing. hang on to that. 

somebody once said that where there’s life, theres hope, and they were right. as bad and awful as things feel and actually are sometimes, as long as youre alive theres opportunity to get better, to be better. if you’re dead, there’s not. sometimes theres no explanation for feeling like garbage, you just do, and it sucks. 

i had an interesting discussion the other week with my therapist about being defined by what i do, not how i feel about myself. we talked about how it can be helpful to use the choices that you make to help define what kind of person you are. if you’re a person who thinks you’re bad, but who does good things, are you bad or good? externally, you’re a positive force in the world. thinking of the ways that i can and have improved the lives of the people important to me helps me fight that nasty voice that tells me the world would be better without me. (and being helpful to them makes me feel like less of a burden when i have to ask them for help. which isn’t a burden, really, but it makes me feel better about asking.)

and if there’s anything i know from having run out of chocolate, it’s that not having something you love never makes you happier than when you do have it. if your family loves you, they wont be happier without you. 

hold on to that strong, surviving part of yourself. feed it with good stuff. that’s how you can make it through to a better mental place. if you give in to the nasty, you’ll never make it to the nice. living is never selfish. 

man, this got a little heavy, sorry. i didn’t want to leave it unanswered, though, so here we are.  on a much lighter note, today i watched thor accidentally set a car down on his own foot, and i learned a bunch of swear words in asgardian. sometimes it’s the little stuff that makes me glad i’m still here, living life. 

doodlebonez replied to your post “oh yeah and i kind figured out how to punch my tablet into…”

*whispers* d r a w A k u… all the Aku, shapeshift them in swirls and in hard angles and with all the distorted faces and teeth! >:o

oh, ,

,i got you fam

He knew it was wrong. Hell, he knew that it was worse than wrong and that there were most definitely some wires that were crossed in his head because people who were normal didn’t think like this. There were times, late at night when he couldn’t get to sleep that he considered going to his parents and telling them what he wanted, what he craved but the thought of that, of what they would do to him, it made his stomach flip. They wouldn’t understand. No one would understand and they would take him away, lock him up in some hospital or something and Dean… he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from Sam.

He waited, laying awake and staring at the ceiling. The little red numbers on his alarm clock that sat on his bedside table read sometime around midnight and he threw his blankets off his body.

He stuck his head out into the hallway, looking down in the direction of his parents bedroom and stilled his breathing. He could feel his heartbeat beating in his chest as he tried to listen for the tale-tell sounds of his dad’s snoring, signaling to him that it was okay for him to sneak out.

Several moments passed and finally he was able to hear it over the sound of the blood pounding past his ears. He smiled to himself as he slinked out past his bedroom door and tiptoed down the hall into Sam’s room.

The door to Sam’s room was unlocked, like it always was now.

There was moonlight bleeding past the curtains that huge over the window in his room and it nearly made Sam glow in his bed, curled in on himself, sleeping soundlessly into the night.

Dean watched, for a few minutes, that was the beautiful perfection that was his brother, how soft and innocent that he looked and once again, that seed of guilt pooled in the middle of his gut that he had completely corrupted his brother.

He pushed that all away, every bad thought and the guilt and closed Sam’s door behind him, making sure to lock it before he crawled into bed.

Sam fit perfectly against Dean, Sam’s back to Dean’s chest and Dean kissed up the side of Sam’s neck, loving the feeling of his baby brother pressed right up against him.

Sam stirred against Dean, wide eyes blinking against sleep and Sam turned in Dean’s arm, a smile pulling on his lips.

“I tried to stay up and wait for you.” Sam muttered, his voice thick and groggy and Sam actually sounded upset with himself, that he fell asleep, that he couldn’t stay awake.

Dean bent his head and kissed Sam, hard and sweet and Sam relaxed into Dean’s hold, kissing him back. “You’re fine, baby boy.” He muttered, pushing back the hair that had fallen in Sam’s eyes. “You’re fine.”

It was wrong and Dean knew it, knew it with every ounce of his being but he wouldn’t give up this feeling, the feeling of Sam underneath him for everything. And after he’s pulled everything out of Sam’s little body, every sound, every twitch of muscle, Dean will disappear back into his room.

In the morning, his mom will walk into his room, a smile on her face and she’ll press a kiss to Dean’s forehead, pulling him from the couple hours of sleep he had and he’ll tell her ‘good morning’ with the taste of Sam still in his mouth.

56/365 | anon request; mary + apple pie, normal life with weecest

theostrashyblog  asked:

I can't find an KOBB Fics, do you know any good ones? Btw, your art is amazing! Especially the KOBB art!

That’s cause there hardly is any, welcome to suffer with me. No but really there is some really nice ones. Just go to like Ao3 but here’s some of ‘em i really like
First (nsfw kinda, also they’re based on my humanformers design), Second (nsfw) , Third, Fourth
Also thank you, that’s really nice of you!

That awkward moment when someone asks you if you like to write… and YEAH, you’ve written well over 100k words of fanfiction, but you don’t want them to ask any followup questions like what your url is, so you just mumble through a “yeah, kinda” that implies you don’t actually write anything ever…

anonymous asked:

So lauren is actually the antagonist in the story and Halsey is juliet and the video will have fighting scenes omgggg why is this every camren fanfic coming to life where lauren is the badass except there's no camila. I'm going to die seeing lauren playing a character on screen!!!!!!!

I think my fave part of the giffing “community” in the fandom is being able to recognize people’s gifs based solely on the colouring. How some people make things soft and others make it really vibrant, some do high-contrast and others make it more pale. Some darken the blacks a lot and others don’t. Some do warm colours and others do cool colours. It’s just kinda cool how people can gif similar moments following (sorta) similar processes and still arrive at results that are unique and recognizably theirs.

the whole “ace people arent oppressed” thing is so weird to me because yea its not like theres countries and cultures where ur entire life is based on marriage and reproduction, even moreso than in western cultures. its not like in some asian cultures ur entire base of success and “honor” is based on marrying and producing hardworking kids. but reproduction being forced on people in certain cultures sure isnt aphobia tho huh, no sirree

“where are you from?”

when asked by another person of color: “oh it looks like we may share some history as immigrants or children of immigrants! I want to know what your other culture is and I’ll share mine!”

when asked by a white person: “you don’t look like you’re from here, please confirm my suspicions that you’re from elsewhere”

to those, I always answer: “I’m from here.”

and they ask: “No, where are you REALLY from?”