thought abt bpd: maybe the reason some of us are so impulsive is because in our childhood we were constantly under control and even “following the rules” wasn’t enough to keep us out of trouble. so now we’re stuck somewhere in between desperately wanting not to be controlled and not knowing how to make decisions fully on our own. so we keep pushing limits until eventually someone or something stops us and we can feel out of control again bc even though we hate it we aren’t fully sure how else to live.
i love the fact that like… if you wanted to you could throw a chair… stool…. lamp… medium sized houseplant… even a lightweight table…. theres nothing physically stopping you from throwing furniture around, only social constructs and your own cowardice.
One of the most unfortunate (and fortunate in some cases) aspects of completely delving yourself into a fandom is that you begin to accept how other people interpret characters versus how the true game interprets them. Like I mentioned, this can be a really awesome thing!
But sometimes, not so much.
A good example in our home sweet home, the tf2 fandom, would be the most antagonized character of the game (at least imo. Medic gets a lot of shit representation too)
Good ol’ Jane Doe.
Most of my opinion on this topic is from a personal experience so I’ll jump straight into that:
When I first joined this fandom/ got the game, my love for the characters was pretty contrastive; Medic was super up top, and engie, demo, and ya boy solly I wasn’t really into (yet of course). This was pretty realistic since I was newer and had set my heart on my favs. As I met people, enjoyed content, and created my own, my love began to spread and even out (thank God).
Except…one merc was still lagging. Soldier. As I matured in my knowledge and independence of interpretation I began to really notice why.
Soldier is portrayed very heavily as the angry hateful antagonist of many artistic scenarios, especially writing.
It’s too easy. Jane’s excessive expression of opinion and loud sense of patriotism and criticism made him an easy villain to give an insult, or cause a problem. I had seen this usage of his characterso oftenthat I had forgotten how this absolute DORK teleported fuckin bread for three whole days, just out of childish impulse
LIKE HOLY HECK HE IS SO BUBBLY AND ALL OVER THE PLACE! The interpretation is flawed in one major place. Is Soldier someone who has opinionated outbursts?? Yes. Are they all based on hate and bias?? NO. Soldier is very expressive in all fields, including excitement, love, and the support he has for his team
The team part is a big one. Like wtf are you thinkin’ Jane LOVES his teammates!! He is extremely supportive and doesn’t seem to push his insults any further than impulsive outbursts
look at him smiling during scout’s date!! He’s so proud
he’s so loving in his own way
anyway this kinda turned into a soldier appreciation post that is too long but uh yeah pls he’s not awful he’s a big ol dork thanks