to be fat like me

  • Me:lol look at how fat my horse is, whatta whale, look at this piglet, so fat, they musta bred a hippopotamus and a giraffe to get a horse like mine
  • Someone else:your horse is fat
  • Me:first of all how dare you

Hi my name is Cecil Gershwin Palmer and I have a deep soothing voice (that’s how I got my job) and I’m not short or tall or thin or fat and a lot of people tell me I look like Kevin from Desert Bluffs (AN: if u don’t know who he is ur better off not knowing!). I’m not related to Carlos the Scientist but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m also a radio host, and I work at Night Vale Community Radio where I’ve been the host for decades (I don’t know how old I am). I’m hip with the kids (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear whatever I want. For example today I was wearing a purple tunic with matching fanny pack and green furry pants, pink cat ears and orange galoshes. I was walking outside the station. It was snowing and raining so there was no moon, which I was very happy about. A lot of hooded figures stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.