to be afraid of your own mind

Paper Hearts (Part 13)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook // Reader x Jimin

♡ Length: 5.1k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

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things people without bpd/personality disorders don’t understand:

-being too afraid to ask for help because we don’t understand our disorder ourselves and don’t want people to look down even more on us
-feeling guilty for asking loved ones for help, and being treated like a burden for seeking that help
-telling us to control our anger/emotions is more damaging than anything
-feeling so vulnerable constantly in any situation no matter who you’re surrounded with
-feeling trapped in your own body/mind
-having such high highs that you have panic attacks, mental breakdowns, you can’t control what you say or do
-having such low lows that you want nothing more than to die, you feel worthless and absolutely crazy
-people giving you even worse complexes by telling you you’re “too angry,” “too excitable,” “too emotional”
-being told “you’re insane,” even as a joke, and feeling like you want to die because you really believe you’re insane
-when people tell you to go on medication but don’t understand that bpd/personality disorders CANNOT be cured, and all that does is turn you into a zombie
-questioning your own mind constantly, not knowing what to believe and what’s real and what’s not
-spending your entire life with people leaving because they don’t want to understand or help you
-feeling anxious staying in one place too long, sometimes so anxious that you literally move houses, towns, sometimes states constantly
-finding any excuse to end your friendships/relationships because you feel like a burden to that person and figure everyone would be better off with you gone

Don’t look to conform with the rest of the crowd! You were born the way you were for a reason; and that’s to be yourself. Show your true colours, and don’t be afraid to tread your own path.

My dear lgbt+ children, 

If you’re too scared to come out, i understand. 

If you wanted to come out but now changed your mind, i understand. 

If you are afraid to speak about lgbt+ rights now, i understand. 

If you can’t volunteer or donate to or even just speak about lgbt+ causes because your lgbt+-phobic environment would get angry, i understand. 

There are many posts going around telling you to be loud now, to speak up and fight now, including posts by me. And yes, it’s certainly true - but please never never never think you need to risk your own safety. 

Your safety and wellbeing is always priority number one. You are doing a wonderful, badass, brave hero thing for the lgbt+ community: You’re keeping one of us safe - yourself! And i’m so proud of you for that. 

Better times will come, my dear. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 


❝ you may leave school, but school never leaves you. ❞ 
❝ things don’t change. we change. ❞
❝ do you know who i am? ❞
❝ i’m gonna tell her that i love her. ❞
❝ you have some jalapeno sauce here , next to this jar of eyeballs. ❞
❝ talk to me , i’m fluent in genius. ❞
❝ and this is why i cook alone. ❞
❝ so when do we get to drink the wine? ❞
❝ don’t answer a question with a question! ❞
❝ you’re see beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. ❞
❝ you’re on speaker , so behave. ❞
❝ or what? you’ll spank me? ❞
❝ you know i love you , right? ❞
❝ i know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind. ❞
❝ i’ve got a glock levelled at your croch. ❞
❝ i need to know that i can be human. ❞
❝ you’re afraid you’ve let people down? ❞
❝ that’s the sweetest and saddest thing i’ve ever heard. ❞
❝ i think deep down , we’re all capable of unspeakable things. ❞
❝ there are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept. ❞
❝ we save one life , we save the world. ❞
❝ can you imagine my mom in a mule? ❞
❝ everybody wants to go to heaven , but nobody wants to die. ❞
❝ right now , what’s my worst quality? ❞
❝ just keep it clean and don’t call me honey. ❞
❝ sexy accent , badge and gun. just your type. ❞
❝ if you want to be mad at someone , be mad at me. ❞
❝ people need to know that they’re important. ❞
❝ what , did you join a boyband? ❞
❝ hey , wanna read? i always read when i’m anxious. ❞
❝ i didn’t know you were a bad flyer. ❞
❝ sit down and shut up. ❞
❝ i like knocking. ❞
❝ you know what? i’m done being nice. ❞
❝ do not make me hurt you. ❞
❝ now i have that memory burned in my mind for the rest of my life. ❞
❝ hey , what’s with you? you need a hug or something? ❞
❝ no , i understand. i just don’t care. ❞

If they answer not your call
walk alone

If they are afraid
and cower mutely
facing the wall,

Unlucky one,
open your mind
and speak out alone.

If they turn away,
and desert you
when crossing the wilderness,
trample the thorns
under your tread,

along the blood-lined track
travel alone.

If they shut doors
and do not hold up the light
when the night is troubled
with storm,

with the thunder flame of pain
ignite your own heart,
and let it burn alone.

—  Rabindranath Tagore

Exclusive groups created to manage control, a dealer getting people hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of bullshit to keep their… their dopamine of ignorance, addicts afraid to believe the truth… that there is no order, there’s no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mind worms meant to divide us so it’s easier to rule us by the charlatans that want to run us. All we are to them are paying fanboys of their poorly written sci-fi franchise. If I don’t listen to my imaginary friend, why the fuck should I listen to yours? People think their worship’s some key to happiness. That’s just how he owns you. Even I’m not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So fuck God. He’s not a good enough scapegoat for me.

How to be happier

1. Place your happiness back into your own hands.
2. Allow yourself to feel ‘negative’ emotions, such as sadness, anger, etc., but do not hold onto those feelings; let them go.
3. Allow yourself to feel happy, but don’t hold on so tightly to it. Don’t be afraid that if you let go, you won’t be able to find it again. You don’t need to search for happiness, happiness lives in your soul. And it waits for your mind to let it in, to allow yourself to feel it.

On the eve of the women’s march, mostly @ my straight white ladies, can we keep in mind that we do not speak FOR any but our own experience, and that there is a giant difference between opening the floor that we have held for so long for other voices and shouting over those voices (even with the same words) because we’re angry and afraid too. It is not your duty to be the voice of someone else, it is your duty to work for a world in which everyone can freely and safely speak for themselves. If we are not working to actively dismantle this system of oppression, we are a part of it.

Sassy Encounters

Requested by Anonymous: “Gould you do a peter pan imagine with a sassy reader who’s notre afraid of him and that’s what makes peter fall, but not too much bc he is a cutie devil”

Thanks to @dragon-memes sass prompts: “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion” “You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I don’t give”

Summary: OUAT Peter Pan x Reader. Peter discovers you in Neverland and wants you out, so you propose a solution; Pan’s intrigued. 

Word count: 1,047 Words


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anonymous asked:

I find really hard to fully understand and relate to a character like Magnus, who's 400 years old and I think, functions different then mortal people because of that. So I just keep thinking how Alec, a shadowhunter to the core that was raised in black and white, by the law, being told what's right or wrong, who never let himself be open to new things,will be able to do that? And also how Magnus (part 1)

(part 2) will fully understand this shadowhunter and his ways, something he never even thought or care about. But they obviously manage to do that, and I’d love to hear your opinion on how

It’s a good question! Alec has expressed his desire to keep an open mind and get to know Magnus on his own terms – and I’m sure he’ll be fine if he does just that. When you scratch the surface of Magnus’s immortality, there’s something very human about him in the way he yearns to be loved but is also afraid of having his heart broken again. I think many of us know what it’s like to feel conflict between wanting to be loved and fearing hurt. This is important, since one of the functions of Magnus and the Downworlders is to demonstrate that despite appearing “other” on the surface, we’re all human beneath.

As for Magnus, he’s pretty perceptive. He often completes Alec’s thoughts before he has a chance to finish. This is part of what draws Alec – who struggles to put his feelings into words – to Magnus, who seems to just get what Alec means. Not to say Magnus knows everything about Alec; I don’t doubt plenty of misunderstandings will arise, but I think he does know that there’s a lot more to Alec than Alec wants to reveal. And I think one of Magnus’s goals has always been to coax him to open up.

But I want to address this part of your ask bc I think it’s important:

how Magnus will fully understand this shadowhunter and his ways, something he never even thought or care about.

Magnus understands Shadowhunter ways extremely well. He might not like what it stands for, but trust me, he knows it. Remember when he grasped the Clave’s trial laws better than Alec? That was such an important moment because both Alec and Magnus knew the wording of the law, but only Magnus truly got the implications of what it meant for his own race – that the Shadowhunters thought so lowly of Downworlders they never even bothered to close the loophole that would keep them from defending someone. Alec didn’t miss this part entirely because he’s stupid; it’s because his privilege meant it wasn’t something he had to think about.

Magnus has likely given these things a lot of thought because like all Downworlders, he had to. Shadowhunter culture is the dominant force in his world. Nephilim beliefs and attitudes control the laws that Downworlders must obey. Magnus in particular works closely with the Clave. He’s spent his long life navigating Shadowhunter politics to rise to where he is now – powerful enough to talk back to the Inquisitor. But he wasn’t always here, and I don’t doubt when he was younger he had to learn their ways carefully lest he offend them and get killed for it (100% legal before the Accords.)

And to make it clear, yes, this is to do with the show’s racial allegory. The dominant majority culture invades every pore of society and minorities are forced to understand it to navigate our lives safely. We will always know it intimately because it isn’t a matter of curiosity; it’s a matter of survival.

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Raped Me.

I remember that night very vividly. I remember more than I would like to. I remember crying, trying to push you off of me, and begging you to stop. I also remember exactly what you said to me as I begged you to stop.
You looked me straight in the face and said “If I stop now it’ll only hurt worse when I go back in.” I was appalled at your response. I didn’t know what to say. Nevertheless I begged you to stop and you continued despite my many protests.

In one night you took everything from me.. My dignity, my innocence, my trust, my peace of mind and more importantly — my sense of security. I didn’t feel safe anywhere I went. You made it hard for me to trust new people, I started secluding myself from everyone because I was afraid.

You also made me hate myself.
For the longest time I couldn’t look at my own unclothed body without feeling an abundance of hatred and disgust towards myself. I felt very uncomfortable in my own body.

I blamed myself for what you did to me. I should’ve fought back harder. I shouldn’t have let you do that to me. Those are just a few of the thoughts that ran through my head everyday. I was ashamed for the longest time, I didn’t want to admit it. Now I realize that it wasn’t my fault and I definitely didn’t LET you do it. Though I might not have been able to stop you, it still was not my fault.

I’m writing you to let you know that I’m not mad anymore. I no longer feel hate towards you, I no longer shudder when I hear your name, and I’m no longer scared. I forgive you for what you did to me. Though I’ll never get back the things you took from me, I forgive you.

And I want you to know that what I thought was the lowest point in my life led me to one of the highest points in my life. You’ve made me realize that although the sun may set, it will always rise again. I’ve grown so much in my faith since what happened and I’ve surrounded myself with some of the most amazing people I know. I have someone so special who cherishes me and respects my boundaries.

I’m happy now, you should be too. I hope you’ve learned from your mistake.

–A Girl Who Has Healed.

Sun - Pluto Aspects

Sun trine or sextile Pluto: You’re the person people call when they need to deal with something that may be a touchy or uncomfortable subject. You don’t mind dealing with these things. In fact, you enjoy looking deeper into the human mind.

“The Brave Psychologist”

Sun conjunct Pluto: You often intimidate those who first meet you. You come on too strong, some might say. You’re powerful and don’t mind confrontation. Intensity is your middle name, and you’re not afraid to change a few things in order to complete tasks.

“The Intimidating Researcher”

Sun opposition Pluto: You dislike change and don’t like when others constantly try to find out about the things you’ve kept a secret. You prefer that things are left as they always are, but you need to grow. This unwillingness to grow can cause chaos.

“The Conservative Mystery”

Sun square Pluto: You dislike digging deep into your own mind. You enjoy spending time worrying about the physical world and it’s problems, but your vulnerable areas always seem to pop up in your life. You dislike talking about personal issues.

“The Curious Investigator”

I can not express how important Inside Out is.

Because it’s a movie aimed primarily as kids that has awesomely diverse female representation when it comes to personalities, as well as beautiful animation, explains minds and emotions and memories and all that stuff in a way children can easily understand, passes the Bechdel test in like the first ten minutes, and stresses the importance of your own personal mental and emotional health.

This is a movie with a female protagonist (who enjoys both rainbow unicorns and hockey) that tells kids that if they’re feeling out of sorts, if they’re feeling sad or angry or afraid or disgusted, that’s okay. That’s normal. And it’s telling them to speak up, to tell someone, to express what they feel, because bottling up your emotions - putting on a brave face when you really need to cry - only leads to more pain.

Inside Out teaches kids that it’s okay to feel and that is so, so, so important.