to always do the 'right' thing in every situation

What is executive dysfunction?
  • Executive functions are things like making plans, following through on plans, controlling impulsive actions, internalized self-talk, changing activities, and, yes, paying attention or focusing on the things we need or want to attend to. There are others, but these are the ones I know the most about and they seem to be the ones that plague us the most.
  • Making Plans. You get up in the morning and you have to decide what you’re going to do that day. Whatever list of activities you choose, that’s making a plan. Here’s another one: you need to clean up your room, so you stand in the doorway and decide what to do first. That’s making a plan.

    Executive dysfunction (ADHD) makes this really hard for a lot of people. Because we tend to see the whole picture better than the little parts, tasks like “clean your room” can be overwhelming. We need it broken down into smaller steps, like “put the clean clothes away and the dirty clothes in the hamper, then put the books on the bookcase.” For some people, even that is too much at a time. They need it broken down to “pick up the first piece of clothing you see and figure out if it’s clean or dirty; if it’s clean, put it in the correct drawer of your dresser or hang it up in the closet, and if it’s dirty, put it in your hamper.”

    Difficulty with this kind of thing can cause a lot of anxiety, and it’s why we tend to freeze up when faced with large, complicated jobs. We simply don’t know where to start, because making a plan is not something we are good at.
  • Following through on plans. Once you have a plan, you start at the first thing and you work your way down the steps until you’ve completed them all, right? Right. Well, executive dysfunction makes it really hard to do this.

    Part of it can be overwhelm: we look at the list of steps, see how long it is (big-picture thinking), and conclude that it’s impossible so we can’t do it. Other times we might not think we can do any of it right, or we might not know how to complete the step we’re on. Or we get distracted, or hung up on one of the steps (a lot of us are perfectionists).
  • Controlling impulsive actions. Most people are able to keep from saying every little thing that pops into their heads. They don’t buy things just because they like them without thinking about whether or not they’re too expensive or something. They control how they react to their emotions and save angry outbursts for whatever they think is an appropriate time and place.

    Executive dysfunction makes this really hard.

    ADHDers don’t have much of a “filter” unless it’s been drilled into us through behavioural conditioning (usually done by society in response to the stuff we say or do). So we think something and we say it, even if it’s hurtful. We buy stuff we like and then can’t pay our bills but hey we have a hot tub! We act out in anger and then wonder why people are afraid of us or mad at us five minutes later, because once we’ve raged we’re good and not mad anymore. As a general rule, we always intend to do the right thing… it’s just not always possible because our brains like to follow every impulse they have.
  • Internalized self-talk. Everyone has what’s known as “self-talk.” For people with low self-esteem, this is pretty negative. But it’s not just about what we tell ourselves about ourselves. It’s also how we get through situations (“Five more situps and we’re done for the day!”) and work through problems (“Next time Jimmy says that I’m going to tell him to go jump in a lake!”). By about age seven or eight (I forget exactly when; it could be older but I’m pretty sure it’s sometime in elementary shcool), most people are really good at keeping all of this silent and in their heads.

    Not so for those of us with ADHD. Executive dysfunction means that we don’t internalize our self-talk until much later, assuming we ever do. I still talk to myself out loud most of the time, though I do internalize a lot (especially in public).
  • Changing activities. You know the law of physics that says that an object that is at rest will remain at rest until acted upon by an external force, and that an object that is traveling in a particular direction at a particular speed will not change direction or speed unless acted upon by an external force? That’s called inertia, and that’s basically what we’re talking about here. (This is like the one thing about physics that I find truly useful in my everyday life. Kinda sad.)

    Basically, once we’re engaged in an activity, we’re in it until something happens to get us to move on. That’s why alarms work for some people - they jolt them out of their current activity and trigger them to move on to the next thing. (Of course, an ability to ignore alarms is also part and parcel of inertia. Yay!)
  • Paying attention or focusing on the things we need or want to attend to. So, the whole “attention deficit” part of “ADHD” is pretty ludicrous, because it’s not really a deficit of attention that we’re dealing with; it’s more an inability to control what we pay attention to. So we can hyperfocus (focus exclusively on one thing for hours on end) or we can jump around from one thing to another, and we don’t really have a lot of control over that. I’m sure you can see how all of the other aspects of executive dysfunction contribute to our lack of control over our attention.
All The Things I Love About You {S.M}

non-requested// imagine where you feel as if you aren’t good enough for someone as great as shawn and he tells you everything he loves about you

author’s note// did you guys know LITERALLY all i fucking care about is taylor swift she is the ONLY woman i will ever love go buy look what you made me do on itunes RIGHT FUCKIN NOW

masterlist 

Shawn was perfect. It didn’t take a genius to understand that Shawn was overall the perfect man. He was the best boyfriend any girl could ever dream for, and he was fucking famous for crying out loud. He had countless fanfiction shit and stuff on the internet, and it was all so accurate. All of those dumb ridiculously gross relationship goal stuff all of the twelve year old girls wanted, was exactly what he did. He posted pictures online with you, much to his publicists dismay as she said it may cause a slight uproar in his fanbase if he were to announce he was in a relationship. He didn’t care at all, he posted photos with you, of you, posted mushy captions, all of the stuff teenage girls make edits of and post on tumblr. He took you on dates, but weirdly personal dates. Like he would take you on a picnic to a little hill by your house or that italian restaurant that was tucked away in the western corner of your town that you just loved. He took you on tour, when you could of course, and he always made sure he made time for you whenever he possibly could. 

But it was all just… way too good to be true. 

You considered yourself to be incredibly average. You didn’t have an extraordinary job, you were an architect. You had a pretty great job at a firm, which was amazing for your age and the fact you were a female but it was nothing compared to your chart topping pop star boyfriend. He was absolutely stunning, one of the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your whole life. His body was perfect, there was seemingly no flaws. Even the scar on his cheek he had gotten using his dad’s razor when he was younger that bothered him so much was the cutest thing ever. He was hot as all hell, girls wrote friggin sex fantasies about him online. You thought it was super weird, yeah sure, but still they existed. He was genuinely perfect in every single way and you were mediocre at best. 

You didn’t consider yourself super hot, and you weren’t super tiny, which is apparently what everyone thought Shawn needed. Someone considerably shorter than him, and tiny overall. You weren’t that. You were shorter than him, sure but it was due to the fact that he was more of a tower than a man, but you weren’t super tiny. You didn’t look amazing in a bikini, you don’t wear a size extra small, and overall, you just didn’t think you were what Shawn deserved. He deserved the perfect girl, and you didn’t deserve him. 

But, that was just what you thought, not what Shawn thought. When you met Shawn at gross little coffee shop in Texas, he thought you were absolutely radiating. He thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen, with your glowing caramel skin, and long deep ebony hair. He was dumbfounded by your beauty, how your body wasn’t one of a super model but you made it look absolutely lovely. What he loved most was that you had no idea how absolutely gorgeous you were. He hated seeing all of these admittedly stunning women at events and parties, who just know they are one of the most gorgeous human beings in the world. You were even more stunning than all of those girls he had ever seen combined, and you weren’t even aware. 

He tells you ever since then he has been absolutely smitten. So in love with you, maybe even disgustingly in love with you. You just didn’t find it realistic. You didn’t find it realistic that this perfect human being saw you as an equally perfect human. You didn’t vocalize it too much, but he knew. He knew you felt insecure. Sure, he wasn’t sure of the extent of the fact, but he knew. 

“C’mon honey, please? You haven’t sat in on Q&A in forever.” Shawn whined, trying to pull you off of the couch that you were firmly planted on in Shawn’s dressing room for the venue that night. 

“I don’t like them, I feel uncomfortable. I’m not even semi ready. I’m wearing one of your sweatshirts and shorts. I can’t go, and I don’t want to.” You told him for what felt like the eightieth time in the past five minutes.Yet, he continued to try and pull you up. “Shawn, seriously I don’t want to.” You stated as monotone as you could physically could manage. You couldn’t show any weakness in a situation like this, he was the type to call of his Q&A to talk to you and make you feel better. You hated when he did that, you hated when he would put you before that kind of stuff, it made you feel like a controlling bitch, even though every single time he told you that it was his decision, not yours, and he is more than willing to tell anyone who asks that very thing. 

“Honey, come on. They love you they always do.” Shawn knew he was lying right through his teeth. They never loved her. At best, they completely ignored her, which is what Shawn considered ‘love’ even though it was just not being a complete asshole. 

“They literally never love me, Shawn. Last time a girl told me to hang myself with one of your broken guitar strings.” It was actually incredibly sad that you weren’t exaggerating, she had actually said that. She had used her question to ask if you could do that, which was the fucking saddest thing you’d ever heard. 

“It won’t happen this time, I promise.” He let go of your hands, knowing for a fact that you wouldn’t be going with him. He looked at you with sad eyes, pulling his blue button up sleeves up to his elbows, his muscular forearms tensed up a bit and you felt a knot in your stomach. 

“Shawn, they’re right.” You groaned, pulling yourself up and somehow dodging him, which was impressive since he was such a tall muscular guy. He scoffed a little, folding his arms as you started to pace around his dressing room, your socks picking up some static electricity as you dragged your feet across the carpet. 

“If you’re saying you should hang yourself…” He chuckled, and you quickly whipped your body to face him, a glare on your face. 

“No, Shawn. They are all right.” You started, pulling the ends of your hair that was up in a ponytail to your fingers, fiddling around with the ends of it. His arms dropped to his side and his head tilted to the side a little bit, a few of his curls falling into his eyes. He started to look sad, and he knew what you were about to say was going to break his heart. “I’m not good enough for you.” You whispered, looking down at your feet. 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Shawn hissed, taking small careful steps towards you until he was only inches away from you. 

“Shawn, I’m just not good enough for you. You’re fucking perfect, you’re the perfect man and I’m just…” You tried to think of the correct word to use but it just wasn’t coming to your brain. “me.” You sighed, looking up at him. You could feel his breath on your forehead, he was that close to you, yet you weren’t touching. His arms were shaking just a bit, so you could tell he wanted to pull you close and hold you badly but he was scared. You were glad he didn’t though, you may have started crying. 

“Do I need to list every single thing that I love about you?” He simply stated, looking you straight in your eyes. You shook your head quickly, not wanting him to waste anymore time on your insecurity than he already has. 

“No Shawn, it’s fine, i’ll get over myself, it’s ju-” He cut you off as he grabbed both of your hands. 

“The way you smile, the way you laugh when I say something that isn’t even remotely funny, the way you get so passionate about those fucking blueprints for some class that I can’t even begin to understand, how you get so emotionally invested in those Grey’s Anatomy characters to the point of tears over the fact that Christina and Owen broke up, how you taught yourself piano because you wanted to be able to play while I sing, the way you smell like peaches every single day, how incredibly aware you are of social issues, how you literally went to a black lives matter protest on your birthday because you said that was the real important stuff, how the music on your phone literally only consists of my stuff, Taylor Swift, and Billy Joel-” You laughed a little, cutting him off. 

“I also have the whole season one of Glee soundtrack.” You swung you and Shawn’s hands back and forth a little bit. It made your whole body feel warm and happy over the fact that he saw all of these little things about you and thought about how much he loved you. He noticed things more than your body and the way you moaned his name. He noticed all of those little things, those dumb things you had barely even thought about. “Shawn, I love you so much. I seriously do, and you mean everything to but I-” He took one of his hands and placed his pointer finger over your lips. 

“But nothing.” He pulled you into a big bear hug, his arms wrapping completely around your body, making you feel like you were in a huge cocoon of love. You wrapped your arms around him, trying to make your hands meet so you can fully hug him back. “It doesn’t matter if I am a pop star or a dumpster diver or if you’re an architect or a screamo lead singer. It doesn’t matter, I love you and you love me. Literally, the only thing that matters. I don’t wanna hear anymore of this ‘not good enough’ shit, got it?” He stated, trying to sound somewhat powerful and dominant. He wasn’t always good at seeming dominant and scary. 

“Sh-” 

“Got it?” He boomed, squeezing you just a little tired. 

“Got it.” You grumbled, “I’m still not going to your Q&A”

author’s note// this was deadass just me going on about how hot shawn is also buy look what you made me do on itunes

ALSO ANOTHER THING

I hate how the show frames Steven as the moral center of the universe but then whenever he fucks up it’s “but he’s just a kid!”

Marco, Star, Dipper, and Mabel, for instance all mess up and has the narriative acknowledge that they mess up. Mabel is impulsive and doesn’t always think things out. Star’s a massive, selfish hypocrite who’s incredibly irresponsible. Marco doesn’t always know what’s best in every situation and often fails to think outside the box. Dipper raised the dead. They all face consequences and get scolded, but they learn and it ultimately helps them become better people.

But Steven? Steven’s always right. He was right to befriend Lapis, Peridot, the cluster, centipeetle,  his racist uncle. Lapis sucking it up in order to befriend somebody who she wanted nothing to do with was presented as the right thing to do. The water spire was going to collapse anyway. Jasper, Bismuth, and Eyeball were all shown to be “in the wrong” (#bismuthwasright). He’s always there to provide the morals for Pearl, Amethyst, Ruby, Sapphire, Greg, the Pizza Wars, whatever. He’s potrayed as this perfect child that can do not wrong and it was endearing way back in CheeseBurger Backpack but now that the show is covering serious topics like bigotry and abuse it simply just doesn’t work and ends up being more less Plebcomics For Kids. 

anonymous asked:

could you do headcanons for the chocobros with a s/o who is just. so savage. or just really snarky and sarcastic all the time and they just always have a hilarious and witty comment to make (dude I LIVE for sassy humour omg)

sure thing, anon! sassy, witty humor is my favorite kind of humor (even though I’m the least sassy human alive), so I had a lot of fun with this request. thanks for sending it in, and I’m sorry I took so long! I hope you like it <3


Noctis:

  • Okay but he loves it
  • He doesn’t always join in, but he always appreciates the little contributions you make to different situations
  • Lets you lead everyone into battle, just to hear what will come out of your mouth
  • Thinks about that one time you called Ardyn a “walking thrift store” a lot
  • When he doesn’t want to deal with certain people, he makes you handle them
  • Never knows how to respond. Is it sarcasm? Are you serious? He isn’t sure
  • He loves taking you fishing with him
  • Not because you actually fish
  • Not because you like fishing
  • But because you always have the best commentary while you watch
  • Who needs the Ring of Lucii when a couple of words from you could send a man to the mountains in shame
  • When things get out of hand, do not expect him to know how to defuse the situation. You can, however, expect to find him right there by your side
  • Because even if your humor carries you away sometimes, Noct will always have your back

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Great Minds Think Alike (Riverdale - Jughead x OC) Part 3

Pairing : Jughead x OC

Synopsis : A new girl arrives in town around the time of Jason Blossom’s accident. That alone makes her suspicious and unlikeable to most people. Jughead has every reason to investigate on her, the timing is too perfect, right? And it has nothing to do with the young girl’s odd yet charming way of always seeming to find her way back to him, no matter the situation.  

Word Count : 2.9k

MASTERLIST

Part 2 <<< >>> Part 4

It happened so gradually that neither of them realized they were becoming friends until they actually were. At some point, Iris was already there when Jughead came to Pop’s, she sometimes ordered fries and onion rings and she shared them with him as if it was the most natural thing to do. They liked to dip them in vanilla milkshake and Jughead ate the cherry on top while Iris ate the whipped cream. They no longer wrote all the time and ended up spending entire evenings doing nothing but dipping fries in the vanilla shake and talking, sharing far-fetched theories about Jason Blossom’s death or discussing literature and Tarantino movies.

Jughead kept using dry humor to drag her when things became a little too intimate or when a conversation made him uncomfortable. Iris could take a hint and tried not to talk about these again – the first time, it was about his family. It was three weeks after they first met. She stord it I the touchy subjects drawer in her head and never mentioned it again, despite her curiosity. Everything about him stung her curiosity though, she couldn’t help it.

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25

1. Love. Love just how God loves you. Everyday ask God to show you his love so you can in turn show others. Love does conquer hate. Love is patient, Love is kind, Love holds no record of wrongdoing, Love does not boast. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

 2. Forgive. Honestly, 2016 wasn’t the yummiest year for me but one thing I learnt is, in order to move on, in order to show love, in order to be free, you have to forgive. I can tell you for free it’s not easy but it’s not impossible. Only God can help you so ask him daily, ask him every minute, to help you to forgive, to help you to love, and to help you to be like Him.  

3. Sometimes God makes you go through situations where all the doors keep closing and it’s left with you and him in the hallway. It’s there that you’ll have to face Him one on one. 2016 was full of closed doors. I just felt like it was never going to end but in the midst of these closed doors, I found Jesus. It was literally left with me and Him and there I learnt to be vulnerable and to put my trust in God. 

4. There will be a time when it seems like God is not there or He isn’t listening or He doesn’t care and it hurts. Not even going to lie it hurts but always always remember that God will never leave you and your story WILL have a happy ending. All you have to do is trust in Him and believe that the plans He has for you are goody good good.

5. FOMO will disappear.

6. Remember that God’s plan for you are ONLY good and He has such amazing plans for you. No, He isn’t going to give you a preview for you to believe, that’s where faith comes in, faith is the evidence of things not seen. Believe that God plans are to prosper you and not to harm you and to give you hope and a future and you’ll be able to see a closed door as an opportunity and not a loss, sunshine. 

7. Every bad situation will either make you or break you. You have the choice to decide what happens. Ask God to help you come out of it a better person, and come out learning all the lessons you were supposed to learn. If the situation is to take away from you, let it take away the bad parts of you cause you my baby are not perfect. 

 8. Learn to apologize. I used to hate apologizing when I was wrong so imagine when you feel justified to be the resident Petty Wap. Apologize when you feel a weight on your shoulder or in your heart. You won’t lose anything. Trust me, you can come up with 100 and 1 reasons why you should be petty especially when someone has hurt you but apologize for your part. It will free you. 

9. Plug out of the world if you have to. Put your phone off, log out of the apps. 

10. Readddd! Favorite Authors are Karen kingsbury, Francine Rivers, Frank Peretti and Max Lucado.

11. What you expose yourself to is what you’ll become. Friends, shows, movies and music. Its subtle, so subtle, you may not even notice but it’s always always in the little things so surround yourself with what you want to be.

12. Stand for what you know is right.

13. Every single thing happens for a reason. You will not understand in the moment and what more do humans hate than the fear of the unknown but when you look at every situation in the light that God is working for your good you’ll smile, I mean it’s hard, especially in times of trouble but you’ll smile.

 14. You are not and can’t be someones source of happiness. You also can’t make someone the source of your happiness because when that plug is pulled, you’ll be left empty. Remember, God is the source of your happiness and you are just an addition in someones life as someone is in yours. 

15. God will always always give you signs and sometimes you’ll ignore them cause we are tooknown. You know deep in your heart what you instinct says or how you feel about a situation but you choose to give unlooking. Trust your instincts, baby. 

16. That the glory of God will be shown in every single thing that I do. Let God take the front seat so that it won’t be by your works but His and at the end of it all glory will be given to His name.

17. Believe in Gods timing. He makes ALL [keyword is all] things beautiful in his time ECC 3:11

19. Quiet time with God. I try to sleep with my phone on airplane mode so I don’t wake up to notifications. Look for what works for you but make time for God. UCB word for today is an amazing start.

18. You can’t choose family. Love them with all your heart and let them know you appreciate them in your own little way.

19. Don’t assume. Always ask 

20. Give people a second chance aka don’t be Judge Judy.

21. Don’t be afraid to fail. Learn from your mistakes and always get up and dust yourself when you stumble or fall. 

22. Get yourself a good set of friends. Friends that’ll uplift you, motivate and love you

23. People will always always always have an opinion. You decide what to do with that opinion. Never make someone’s opinion determine your actions. Be true to yourself.

24. Travel. See the world

25. Love yourself, sunshine.

Strangely Normal

Anon Request: Hey,could you write an imagine where Seth imprints on the reader? She’s a human and is adopted by the Cullens bc her family died. The Cullens think the Volturi are behind her and bring them to the Wolfpack bc they think it’s saver there? Hope thats not too much to ask,i hope you’ll have good day/night and thank you so much <3

Note: - This will be a two part imagine!

        - The reader is human

Warnings: None

//

Being adopted by a family of vampires isn’t exactly as easy as it seems. You know they’d protect you no matter what, but, being sent to live on the reservation with the wolves wasn’t exactly what you considered protection. So when Emmett and Carlisle drove you over to the infamous Sam Uley’s house, you were slightly concerned to say the least.

“Carlisle are you sure this is the right thing to do?” You piped up from the back seat of his mercedes.

He turned around to look at you from his seat next to Emmett who was driving at the moment and spoke, “Y/N, you know we would never put you in a compromising situation. With the Volturi searching for you, we are going to take every precaution necessary in order to keep you safe.”

You sighed and nodded, knowing Carlisle was always right. And whether you wanted to admit it or not, you were glad that they would go this far just to ensure your protection. Soon enough, you were stepping out Carlisle’s car and found yourself staring at the large, woodsy cottage you would be living at until the Volturi threat passed. A large, muscular man with short jet black hair stepped out followed by a smaller girl with a large scar running from her eyebrow down to her chin.

“Carlisle, Emmett.” The man greeted and Carlisle stepped forward to shake his hand while Emmett just lifted his head in acknowledgement from his spot at the trunk of the car where he pulled your suitcase out of the car.

“I can’t even begin to express how grateful my family and I are that you are willing to take Y/N into your home. If ever you need a favor we’ll be more than willing to help.” Carlisle thanked while the lady with the scar on her face came over to you, smiling brightly.

She pulled you into a surprisingly tight hug, and you hugged back, thankful that she didn’t think you were totally weird. “Hi! I’m Emily and that’s my fiancé Sam. We’re gonna be the two you’ll be living with for the next few weeks but you’ll get to meet the boys soon!” She rambled happily and you felt your lips curling into a smile at the sight of how happy she was to be letting you live with her.

She released you from the bone crushing hug and took your hand, “Let’s get you inside, I’m sure you’ll want to know where your room is.” She exclaimed, leading you inside. You barely had a chance to wave at Carlisle and Emmett before she was pulling you inside where you were greeted with the homey scent of pines and a delicious smelling kitchen. You weren’t sure what was cooking but whatever it was smelled amazing.

She lead you up a short set of stairs and into a hallway where she entered a room towards the middle of the hallway, “I hope this is okay, it’s our spare room.” She said quietly as you took in the simple room you would be staying in for the next few weeks. There was a small twin size bed in with a dresser and a mirror. The room was smaller than yours at the Cullen’s house, but never the less you appreciated that you even had a room.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” You smile at Emily.

“Okay, well I’ll let you get settled. Dinner is going to be ready an about an hour. We’re having some of the pack over tonight if you don’t mind. We thought you’d like to meet everyone.” She said softly and you nod at her, though the thought was slightly nerve racking you did think that it would be for the best if you met the pack now rather than later.

Throughout the next hour you unpacked your things and made your way into the kitchen where you chatted with Emily while you awaited the packs arrival. You sat on the counter, swinging your legs while Emily pulled out a tray of baked potatoes and steak from the oven.

You were about to comment on the good smell when a loud holler broke through the air, startling you. You were quick to jump off the counter and got into a fighting stance that Emmett had taught you.

A laugh came as three boys peeked their heads around the corner, all with similar dark brown, short hair except one of them had curlier hair than the rest.

“Vamp girl’s got moves!” One cheered before introducing himself, “I’m Jared by the way.” You eyed him wearily while the other two stepped forward, both grinning wildly.

“I’m Quil and that guy is Embry. Seth is right back there too.” The curly haired boy said, gesturing to a boy, lingering slightly behind and far more attractive than the others in your opinion. He was tall and kind of lanky but it looked good on him. It gave him an attractive boyish look that made you want to go on adventures with him.

Though, he was staring at you kind of oddly and you must’ve shot him a weird look or something because Quil started laughing, snapping both you and Seth out of your trances. “I’ll leave you two alone then.” He teased before waltzing out of the room.

Seth and I awkwardly stood in the kitchen for a few moments before he broke the silence, “So you’re staying with Sam and Emily for the next few weeks?” He asked, peeking up at you, still awkwardly standing in the kitchen doorway.

You nod, “Just until the Volturi are gone.”

Seth smiled a little bit, “Well I’m sure we’ll keep you entertained until then. Have you ever been to the La Push beach?” He asked you softly, stepping out of the doorway and into the kitchen more so you weren’t awkwardly standing 10 feet apart.

“No… I don’t think so…” You trail off, not sure what he was talking about. His face lit up excitedly then.

“Well I can take you there, it’s a lot of fun! We can go shell searching or something.” He suggested enthusiastically. You quickly felt yourself smiling too, his happiness was contagious.

“Okay… When do you wanna go?” You asked, hopeful that it would be sometime soon.

Seth thought about it for a moment before responding, “Why don’t we go tomorrow? That way we’ll have all day.” He suggested happily and you nod, excitement bubbling in you. You just met this boy and you were already so eager to spend more time with him.

Before you can say anything else, a different boy stuck his head around the corner, “Dinner’s ready.” He said, winking at Seth earning a blush from the both of you before you awkwardly made your way into the dining room for dinner.

-   End of part one   -

Monsta X Theory...Kind Of??

It’s gonna be a longass theory, so I’ll be really thankful if you guys will read it ♥

Also English isn’t my first language, so sorry if I’ll have some mistakes ♥ 

~

At first sight every The Clan video happens in different times (Because clothes and places where story is held) they have different plots, feelings, even though they should be connected to each other. But when I thought a bit and had marathon of Monsta X MVs (as usual) I realized some things.

1) Something bad happens to Kihyun in every MV.

And he always looks scared, confused and lost .

2) Minhyuk does literally everything to save his friends, even sacrifice his own life.

3) Jooheon is obviously a main guy.

But is he a good guy? Something like a leader of the clan? No. If you look closer, Jooheon appears with almost every member, in every situation, like he’s always watching them.

And he doesn’t look like really friendly, he looks like, he controls them 24/7.

He knows what are they doing right now and what are they planing to do.

He even helps Shownu to steal money and looks at him like ‘It’s alright, you aren’t doing anything wrong’ when Shownu is visually uncomfortable that he did that.

Jooheon always asks them to do some things and has eyes on them.

And I think, he’s angry that Minhyuk and Hyungwon tried to commit a suicide, because no one does anything without his allowance. That’s why he forces others to make plan how to take them out of there. Which is kind of ridiculous, because he can walk into the hospital, dressed as a doctor and no one notices, but they still need to make things harder.

And then I think he drugs them.

Look at this evil smirk

And yes, Shownu is obviously his favorite, because he always obligate. That explains this weird scene.

But Hyungwon doesn’t look really happy for a person who was saved twice.

Even after, it feels like he’s forced to be with them.

So here goes my theory…I think boys are trying to escape from Jooheon.

Why?

Because they’re stuck with Jooheon, who manipulates them like a toys and even keeps them locked.

So want they or not, seven of them should always be together.

And what if Kihyun tried to escape from Jooheon first and that’w why bad things keep happening to him? To that point that he even became blind? That explains why he throws away his crutch and walks on really long and dangerous road in All In.

But not only him, everyone wants to leave him and I think Minhyuk makes a car accident purposely?

Something in this gif is fishy right?

Okay, but there are also few more things I’ve noticed.

4) Changkyun always seems loner? Even if they should be all in together

So I think he will be the one who will lead boys how to leave Jooheon? Idk.

5) Wonho’s character really tries to catch up with his friends, but in the end he just runs away from his problems. Just like me lol

Thanks for reading ♥

anonymous asked:

Holly Blue always comes across as way way way more abusive than motherly to me, based on personal experience. She gaslights the Famethyst and shoves and yanks them around with distain (especially for mistakes and little things) and calls them cruel names. But I saw in your analysis of her you and some other asks had other impressions. Thoughts?

The specific word I used was “matronly” not “motherly.” And I was very deliberate with that choice because a matron by definition is someone like a chief nurse or attendant at a hospital, dormitory, or boarding school. We’re looking at someone whose job it is to keep people in line while at the same time watch over them. It doesn’t imply a sense of nurturing intimacy.

As for gaslighting, its very definition is to discredit and cause people to doubt their own feelings and thoughts, sometimes even memories and experiences. I don’t think she’s treating the Famethyst the way they deserve but this isn’t what she’s been doing. 

What we have heard is her calling them mean names because they’re from Earth. There’s a very specific instance in That Will Be All when she says, “Even your vein of Quartz” should be able to welcome the Diamonds properly.

So there’s definitely condescension and that’s not a great thing. As for the rough way she handles them, I would point to the post you’ve already read. Soldiers roughhouse and play-fight. They’re grabby and punchy. Just watch Garnet punching Bismuth. Watch the Rubies smack each other during the baseball game. And the context is indeed that of a group of rowdy soldiers. 

And I would stress that she’s condescending to everyone who isn’t higher ranked. She talks about why anyone would trust Rubies with a ship. She snidely remarks how chatty Pearl is and talks about her as though she weren’t there. She viewed Steven as a “barking” animal. It’s a consistent thing.

For the “little mistakes” I would posit something also in the post. They’ve been together thousands of years. Every single time BD visits they go through the same routine. And thousands of years later, she’s still correcting those same mistakes. Resulting to physically tossing her wards around isn’t right, but we can also see the pressure and frustration that underlies it. 

The thing is, we haven’t seen their interactions in regular situations. We haven’t seen what it’s like when the camera is off and Holly and the Famethyst are alone. Because if Holly always made them feel bad and meant it, they wouldn’t receive her the way they do. They wouldn’t feel it was okay to prank her. They would actually have followed through on the corrections.

I mentioned already that Holly, an Agate meant to “terrify” hans’t been doing a great job. It wouldn’t make sense if she were everything described in the ask because even in those stressful moments, her armour cracks and we see how non-threatening she is to the Famethyst and in general.

I think their relationship is more similar to the early Pearl-Amethyst dynamic. Pearl felt she always had the moral high ground and it led her to impose a lot of her beliefs on Amethyst and who the latter should be as a Crystal Gem and as a follower of Rose Quartz. And we know that Amethyst didn’t come out of that perfectly unscathed. It did leave her feeling inferior. 

This kind of behaviour is just not as overt as people are making it out to be. And even good intentions can lead to harmful actions. Like Pearl, Holly is in the position that she wants the Famethyst to be the soldiers they were supposed to be. She’s very hard on them not for anything but because she wants them to do their job well. It doesn’t hurt that it reflects on how well she mentored them and her allegiance in turn to Blue Diamond.

So the answer is, it’s complicated. But that kind of complexity is what has always given this show depth.

archiveofourown.org
One More Day With You - TheLoyalMouse - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Yuri Plisetsky
Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky
Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, 6 years later, Adult Yuri Plisetsky, Rating May Change, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, No Viktor Nikiforov was hurt in the making of this fic, No one’s gonna die, i kid you not
Summary:

Six years later: When Viktor learns that his days are numbered, there’s only one thing on his mind: He needs to make sure that Yuuri will be okay. For this goal he’s willing to sacrifice everything; his happiness, his sanity - even Yuuri love. But that’s not how relationships work, Vitya … (Or: The stupid things we do for love)

I finally managed to get chapter 2 of this thing out. Hallelujah! If you like, I’d greatly appreciate giving kudos / leaving a comment on ao3. Seriously, it’s the comments that keep me going …


A storm is coming. Viktor can feel it like a low electric tingle on his skin; can smell the faint metallic stench of ozone hanging heavy in the air. It’s making him restless. He’s tossing and turning on his side of the bed, bunching up the sheets in the process.

But the tension he feels isn’t caused by the sudden change of weather alone. It’s everything. This whole fucked-up situation he has to deal with, is weighing down on him like a rock. And he’s starting to overthink things.

What if he’s wrong? What if this whole stupid plan is just one big mistake?

There’s still time to make things right. He can still tell Yuuri. Can do it right now. Shake him awake and tell him to his face, bleary from sleep, that their days as a couple are numbered. That he, Viktor, will do exactly what he always promised him he’d never do:

Leave him behind.

Not that Viktor has much of a choice - or any at all. Live every day of your life as if it were the last - trite but true. Unfortunately, you never really allow for the very realistic possibility settle in your brain. Dying is for old people. Sick people, unfortunate souls who have some metaphysical score to settle or just a very messed up karma.

Except maybe that’s what it all comes down to in the end.

Meeting Yuuri was probably - no, with absolute certainty the very best thing that ever happened to him. And he always wondered, in a way, just for how long this insane happiness was going to last. He wondered when the fuck he’d started sounding like the old babushka that used to sit in front of the Kopeyka , blathering about the good old days to everyone who would listen to her. All he could think now, another truism, was how nothing in life comes for free.

And now he’s been presented with the bill.

Suddenly, Yuuri starts to stir next to him; his beautiful face contorted into a frown. He’s thrashing around now, throwing off the sheets he’s been curled into. His hands are reaching out, his fingers clenching, opening, clenching. A quiet whimper of distress leaves his throat and Viktor can’t take it. It’s too much, and he can feel tears burn in the back of his eyes.

Gently, he cups Yuuri’s face, strokes his soft cheeks with his thumbs. “Yuuri,” he whispers. “Yuuri, it’s alright. You’re safe. I will keep you safe …”

Viktor doesn’t know if it’s the sound of his voice that does it, but Yuuri’s eyes fly open all of a sudden, and before he’s even realizing what’s happening, he’s all but crawling into Viktor’s lap. Little hiccups are sending tremors down his body, Viktor can feel them. Yuuri’s pressing closer, impossibly closer, like he wants to crawl into Viktor, become a part of him; become one.

Unsure what else to do, Viktor strokes his hair, massages the little bumps beneath the skin with his fingertips. Suddenly, the quiet of the night is disturbed by the plitter-platter of rain falling onto the roof of their apartment-building.

Yuuri lets out a shaky breath, an apologetic half-smile on his lips that doesn’t meet his eyes when he looks up at Viktor. “Just a bad dream,” he explains, his voice a little hoarse and his eyes a little too shiny to conceal how deeply shaken he still is.

It feels like Viktor’s heart is squeezed together by a iron fist. He loves this man. He loves him more than he could ever put into words. Yuuri is his everything, and the worst thing is that he knows his feelings are reciprocated. They’re like the tides and the moon - one simply cannot exist without the other. And he can’t help but wonder what will happen, once one of them is irrevocably gone.

Cupping Yuuri’s face with his hands, he tilts his head just a fraction, so he can brush his lips over Yuuri’s. It’s just that for a moment. The soft press of lips. Breaths hitched in tight throats. Until suddenly, it’s not anymore, and turns into something else. Something needier, with a sharp edge of desperation …

READ MORE
>> CHAPTER 1 <<
>> CHAPTER 2 <<

Great Minds Think Alike (Riverdale - Jughead x OC) Part 4

 Pairing : Jughead x OC

Synopsis : A new girl arrives in town around the time of Jason Blossom’s accident. That alone makes her suspicious and unlikeable to most people. Jughead has every reason to investigate on her, the timing is too perfect, right? And it has nothing to do with the young girl’s odd yet charming way of always seeming to find her way back to him, no matter the situation.  

Word Count : 2.7k

MASTERLIST

Part 3 <<< >>> Part 5

It would take Jughead a great amount of time to figure out who exactly Iris was, but there were already a few things he could cross off the list. Queen B and girl next door being his first two wrong guesses. As the last week of holidays passed by and the first day of school rolled around, the mystery grew thicker instead of unfolding itself.

In High School the rule about the new girl is that she stays the new girl until another one takes her place – it was very unlikely that another young girl moved to Riverdale of all towns and that before school starts again, but it did. Iris had been the new girl for about two months, during which everybody talked about her to the friends they met up during the holidays and tried to get a glimpse of her – though she was hell bent on enjoying her peace and only getting out of her house at the wee hours of the day – but a day or two before school began, another girl came to Riverdale, and suddenly Iris’ little person wasn’t the center of the universe anymore.

Keep reading

Bound By Chains - The Final Chapter

Pairing: Eric/OC
Fandom: Divergent
Rating: M

She’s bound to a monster. And he has personality issues.

A/N will be at the bottom. 

Tags: @dauntlessmetalmom @equalstrashflavoredtrash @badassbaker @red-diary @pathybo @murmelinchen @insertamazingwords @feminamortem @halefiresurvivor @suchlonelymuchsoul @elaacreditava @lauraaan182 @synnocence @jcause @glittergiirlgg @platitudinise @frecklefaceb @mimigemrose @sparklemichele @beltz2016 @ariwolff14 @queensoybean @impalalala6799 @tomarisela @original46 

Keep reading

i just sat for a test that i knew i was underprepared for (since i put it on a lower priority during easter break and only studied for 1 week, which is not enough to consolidate knowledge of this type) and let me tell you…. when you don’t know something, be shameless. don’t be embarrassed to bullshit.

you might find yourself onto the right train of thought or remembering things you wouldn’t otherwise. even if you don’t, you might get partial points and it always feels better to try than to leave half a page or an entire section blank.

Isaac Lahey | Mercy

Count of words: 1007

Warnings: smut, daddy kink, multiple (two) orgasms

a/n: OK WHAT DID I WRITE? HOW DID I WRITE THIS? OMG! I just hope you like it… Also finally made a masterlist

writer: @lucifers-embodiment-imagines

anonymous asked:

Can you write an Isaac Lahey smut imagine based on mercy by Shawn mendes

anonymous asked:

Daniel smut


You’ve got a hold of me, don’t even know your power. And I stand a hundred feet, but I fall when I’m around you.

You never saw it but you had a hold of Isaac’s heart. You could control his emotions with the change of yours, maybe with a smile or a simple whimper. You didn’t aknowledge the situation but he didn’t quit mind. He liked how you brought out his soft side and were confused when everyone told you, you should stay away from the heartless wolf.

Truth be told, he had a heart. It was still beating right behind his chest but he kept hidding it away. He would always stand tall, keep an armor all around him but it would fall every time you were near him. Man, you were doing things to him. Things he tried to avoid but also things he wantd to show you.

Everytime you were around him something clicked in him. He was imediatelly turned on wanting to do inappropriate things to you, not that you minded. The thing is he was not like that because you were perfect, had the best curves anyone could have or something, no. It was not that you where dressing suggestively either. Even if he saw you in sweatpants, messy hair, no makeup on, glasses and a baggy sweatshirt he would still feel the same.

Show me an open door and you go and slam it on me. I can’t take anymore.

It was this cold summer night, the rain pouring outside. I mean the weather was plain tricks on you but you didn’t quite mind. The only thing on your mind at that point was Isaac. Just a couple nights earlier you had this huge fight and hadn’t talk to him since. You were still mad at him, you didn’t know why anymore but you did.

As your thoughts had been traveling through the ever ending ocean of your mind a knock on the door made them sink into the back of your head till you could go back to it. Carefully you opened the door only to be met with someones chest. Looking up you realised it was the person you were trying to avoid the most. “I’m sorry,” he muttered under his breath gently placing his palm on your cheek. Quickly you removed it and slammed the door closed. He didn’t knock again and for a while you thought he was gone but then he opened the door with ease as realisation hit you. He had a spare key. 

He didn’t say anything and neither did you all that happened was intimate eye contact. He felt his skin burn and his face flame up as the urge to take you right there and then was unbearable. But he couldn’t keep it inside any longer. He lunged to you, picked you up and started kissing you passionately. “What are you doing to me?”

I’m saying baby please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart. Ever though you don’t mean to hurt me, you keep tearing me apart.

He walked the two of you up the stairs and found his way to your bedroom. It was not long until your clothes were completely teared apart and you were left on your underwear. His hands were playing with your hair as he was kissing down your neck making his way to your stomach. He thought it was a good idea to tese you and that’s exactly what he did. He first removed your bra exposing your breast as he started caressing one and leaving lovebites to the other. He did the same to the other breast and then moved down. He made his way to your core leaving sloppy kisses along the way. And the it was time for the fun to begin. His lips started kissing your core over your underwear, allowing Isaac to taste your wetness. His hands massaged your inner thighs getting closer and closer to where you needed them the most, while he kept on kissing you there. You whimpered underneath his touch and he stopped to look at you. “Now, don’t rush baby girl. We are playing with daddy’s rules tonight.” He said with a smug look on his face and then went back to work. He kept on kissing your core over the soaked fabric untill he decided they were in his way. He slowly removed them and went back to kissing. He was also gently sucking your sensitive skin making your eyes roll back and your insides churn. He did this a couple more times until you came undone. 

After licking you clean Isaac went back on giving you pleasure but this time thinking of his self as well. He kissed his way up to your face, lustfully kissing your lips and with one swift move he entered inside of you. The pleasure was too much and the thing that you were sensitive from another orgasm made it unbearable. “You won’t cum until daddy does,” Isaac said as he slammed his member inside of you once more when you nodded your head. “Wrong answer kitten. Now what do we say,” he said in a deep voice. Yours was trembling as you said “Yes daddy,” and he slammed into you harder this time. He continued his ‘excersise’ for a while longer as he finally cummed and you followed suit.”I love you,” he whispered and it was the first time these words came out of his mouth. “I love you.”

This situation kept going of for a couple of months. You would fight, stop talking for days, bang, get back togeather and repeat. It became too much for you and this time you were going to confront him about it. 

“You do this everytime!” You yelled at him. “You tell me you love me, we fight for something stupid, I cry for days, we bang and you thing everything is ok again. It’s not ok. I’m not ok!” You yelled at him as tears fell down your cheeks. “Just have mercy on my heart.”

anonymous asked:

Hey, Pilot! I was wondering if you could give me some writing advice. I have a lot of trouble starting off stories. Like, the first paragraph to start an entire fic. :/

My mom has always said that a moving boat is easier to push. Getting it going from a dead stop is nearly impossible and super discouraging, but building up any kind of momentum at all is easier to capitalize on. So when you receive advice that says “Just start” im sure it sounds dumb, but write ANYTHING. Experiment with traditional starting styles you see in books all the time if you dont have the inspiration at the second to make your own. 

There is the hard start- an example being 

“The alley way was still, holding only distant echoes of the city it inhabited. There was a space of a moment on one, lazy, stifling, creeping summer night where nothing happened at all. And then all at once, the silence did not shatter.

It exploded.

A man flung into the alleyway, slamming hard against the dingy wall and crashing to the floor, his momentum carrying him back into an unsteady run as his vision swirled and blotted-”

and so on. Its the BOOM BAM kind of beginning, right into the shit! Right into the fire! Holy crap! Where is this?! Who is this!? What did he do?? Where is he going?? ((notice how i used formatting to add to the big PUNCH, a beloved tactic of mine))

There is the ‘establishing shot’ beginning. Like how in movies you see the picture of the outside of the house before you see the inside of a room and then finally you see the character in a chair or whatever. It establishes the place, the space, and the person. This is also a way to start. Describe the house and the hill and the weather and the time. Then the living room, the decorations, the disheveled stack of papers on the coffee table. Then the woman, sitting with her legs crossed. Now tell us how she fits into the room, give her context in this space ((Always remember to connect a character to the environment and clue the reader in on the context you already know))

There is the ‘Just tuning in’ beginning. Where the story begins already part way through an event or a conversation. It is typical to heavily rely on body language and staging to help the reader figure out everything that they ‘missed’ and adds intrigue and speculation to your story right off the bat.

There is also the ‘Just missed it’ beginning, where it starts right AFTER a whole bunch of stuff went down and the story moves through the aftermath, which in turn gives context to the situation just passed. This is common is war stories, where it begins in the shambles of a home after an air raid and what the family must now do to survive. 

Thing to Remember!

The reader doesnt know everything, you do. Filling in the difference is where a whole lot of intrigue can come from, and setting that up with a good start is always possible! 

Tip!

Remember, every movie and tv show is just a story told with pictures instead of words. Pay attention to how movies and episodes of shows begin when you watch them next! I am sure you will see the same things i detailed here as well as a few other things! The Establishing shot, the Hard Start, the Just Missed It, you will see all of these and more in films, so watch a few for inspiration. Pay attention to if they start with some information and events already passed ((Spirited Away: starts in a car filled with moving boxes. Before they even speak you know this family is somewhere new they have no experience with because they are moving in from elsewhere)). Very Very few stories start from the ‘true’ beginning, so decide whats already happened in your timeline and go from there if anything at all


When i met the writers of Miraculous Ladybug I got some very good advice from a crazy awesome woman.

“You have to lay some shit down in order for flowers to grow.”


Write the worst version of your story first, and then go back and fix it! Just get the boat moving and PUSH! You can do it!

I’ve never liked Rachel. I’ve always had a lot of reasons to hate her and I think those reasons are more than fair, but I didn’t want to talk about it too much, because - believe it or not - I don’t like hating people. But, this is stuck with me and seeing the situation at the end of 5th seasons - I can’t shut myself up anymore. I’m not going to tag Rachel or her couple with Mike, because I don’t want to offend any fans of hers and, if you happened to come across this and you do love her - I’m sincerely sorry.

But, fucking hell. Everyone says Harvey is the arrogant one. Yeah, are you sure about that? Because, I think Rachel is. She always thinks about herself, she always makes every goddamn thing about herself. But, I want to talk about something I’m witnessing right now watching the last episode of 5th season and something that’s bugging me a whole fucking lot.

So, Harvey is the person, who everyone finds as guilty in this situation as Mike and a person, who thinks he is guilty and who was about to turn himself in for Mike. But, that person didn’t blame Mike in what he has done at all. He didn’t shout at him, didn’t tell him how he feels about it, even though he knows damn well that he will feel like hell, when Mike will be in prison and he will blame himself for that his whole life. On top of that, he lied about the jury saying they decided Mike was guilty, so that Mike can be sure about his decision. So, he can feel better about it, so he wouldn’t blame himself.

But, do you want to know why Mike blames himself in the first place, even though he was SO SURE about his decision? Because of Rachel. Because, his ‘adorable fiancée’ (read it in Magnus Bane’s voice, if you know what I mean) doesn’t think that ‘the love of her live’ (or at least that’s what she calls him, I’m sure she doesn’t love anyone more than herself) will be in prison for two years and he just made a hard decision to safe his friends. No. She thinks that she will have to be alone for two years, that she is scared, that it will be hard for her, etcetera, etcetera. She, she, her. It’s all about her. Not a word about anyone else.

And, you know what? Maybe Harvey isn’t the least self-centered person in the world, but he does not ever think about himself first. There are Jessica, Donna and, most importantly, Mike - a person he is ready to give up his life, everything more and everything beyond imaginable for. Something that, by the logic of the show, Rachel should do. Because, Rachel is Mike’s girlfriend, who loves him more than anything and Harvey is just his friend, who just loves him as a friend.

Well, that’s what the show says. But for me, personally, it doesn’t add up. It doesn’t add up at all. Because, if they wanted me to believe in this bullshit, they should’ve tried harder. And, from what I see, they are not trying at all.

I’ve heard some people thought it was weak plot-forcing to have Tyrion be wrong about where the Lannisters forces would be, as Tyrion should be far smarter than Jaime and Cersei.

I strongly disagree with this.

While Tyrion is definitely intelligent and well read, Jaime is an experienced soldier and commander of an army. Jaime himself points out that he learned from his battle mistakes from earlier in the show (being captured by Robb Stark). So he learned from his mistakes and applied it to a new battle and he was the real winner. Dany’s army may have ‘won’ Casterly Rock, but lost the bigger game. 

Also while it does simplify things and is a good visual clue, one being good at ‘chess’ does not mean one is good at actual war or battle. Tyrion may be able to plan with his war board, but that doesn’t matter if the other side doesn’t do what you expect.

Also I imagine, Jaime (more than Cersei) can figure out what Tyrion might suggest and plan, because Jaime knows Tyrion and also knows Tyrion is working on the knowledge of Jaime would’ve done, of course Tyrion didn’t realize his brother learned from his past mistakes. 

This idea is also shown in a couple of the fighter/warrior characters -Brienne, Jon, Arya, Podrick–knowing how to fight and sparring practices are not the same thing as having been in an actual fight and learning from that experience. 

Tyrion may knows things, but that doesn’t mean he will always be right. 

In a similar fashion, we see this idea being repeated with Samwell Tarly. Sam says he just read the book and followed the instructions, but clearly that’s not just it. Because knowing and doing are two different things. Anyone could’ve read the book and followed the instructions and they would’ve been infected,Sam is very capable and his skills will grow. 

And in another fashion, this might affect characters like Littlefinger (and Varys). Clever men, who can plan for every outcome, but in some situations knowledge or information is not enough. It’s certainly an important aspect, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

anonymous asked:

how can you hate delena but love bonkai? like i know delena is much more toxic but bonkai is still pretty bad and bonnie deserves someone who treats her better

Just because I like Bonkai doesn’t mean I don’t understand or accept the fact that they are problematic. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t agree Bonnie deserves someone who hasn’t tried to kill her. 

But for one, when I say I love Bonkai, I love their chemistry, and I love the potential that they had. They could have been written as a redemption ship, if the writers had chosen to do so, and I think it could have been absolutely stellar. 

Now, obviously they didn’t go that way. But Bonkai is still different than Elena/Damon in the sense that their characters (Bonnie and Kai) were always on equal ground. Kai stabbed Bonnie, Bonnie stabbed Kai. Kai manipulated Bonnie, Bonnie manipulated Kai. Bonnie was strong when it came to facing him (no nosebleeds, no fear, just a powerful woman) and Kai never treated her like she was “lesser than”. He knew what she could do and he recognized her power. In addition to that, when he finally gained empathy/a soul/whatever you want to call it after the merge, he was absolutely obsessed with making things right with her (this is where they could have written things differently, but I digress), it was literally all he could think about. In that moment, he was completely unselfish. 

This is so unlike Damon and Elena, where Damon was always trying to be the power player in that relationship, and every single thing he did was of selfish motive. Not to mention the entire sire situation, and how he constantly was trying to make decisions for Elena as if she was completely incapable of defending herself or surviving on her own. Damon’s entrance into Elena’s life in a romantic sense completely destroyed her character and made her a useless, weak, self doubting damsel in distress, while Kai’s involvement with Bonnie (however toxic as it was at times) only made her a stronger and more powerful force of nature. 

The Photo

I think that what Steve says about strength in this story is applicable to everyone, not just the Reader. Each and every one of us is strong, even if we don’t believe it. Sometimes you just need someone to remind you.

Please enjoy the story, and as always, I appreciate all comments and feedback!

WARNINGS- IMPLIED SELF HARM, SUBTLE MENTION OF PREVIOUS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

TIMELINE - 2014

~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~

You sat on the bed in silence. You didn’t know what to say. What could you possibly say to justify the stress you had put Steve through?

“(Y/N), I’m not mad at you, I promise,” Steve said, trying to get you to open up to him.

“How could you not be mad at me? I’m mad at me,” you replied sheepishly.

“Why are you mad at yourself?”

“Because I made you worry. Because I have been pretending to be strong, when I’m not. Because I’ve been lying to my best friend.”

Steve looked surprised by what you said, but he smiled supportively at you.

“What have you been lying about?”

“I have been telling you for a while now that I am just tired. But, I’m not just tired. This life Steve, it’s draining me.”

You proceeded to tell him about the nightmares you had been having. The ones where Bucky was here, in the modern world with you, and disappeared inexplicably at the end, leaving you feeling confused and even more lonely than you were when you fell asleep.

You told him about the strain of being an Empath. Back in the 40s, you were able to get a break from it by isolating yourself for a while, but in the 21st century, it was damn near impossible to get a moment to yourself, and there were people everywhere.

You considered telling him about your arm, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You couldn’t stand imagining the way he would look at you.

“(Y/N), you say you are just pretending to be strong, but that isn’t true. You are strong. You are the strongest person I know.

“Despite everything you just said to me, you still go out of your way to help people. You still smile at the barista every time you order a coffee. You still take the time to listen to people who need someone to talk to. You still hold people that need it, despite how overwhelming it is for you. You still put on your gear and fight for what’s right.

“Strength isn’t doing all of those things and not feeling the stress and strain. Strength is doing all of those things in spite of it.”

There were many things you admired about Steve. One thing that came to mind right now was that, no matter the situation, he always knew the right thing to say, and he always tried to see the best in people.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all this sooner,” you apologised.

“It’s ok. It’s hard asking for help, especially when you are the one that everyone goes to when they’re struggling. Including me. I’m sorry I dump everything on you so readily…” he replied.

“Don’t apologise. I think the reason I developed these Empathic abilities was so that I could help others. So I could try to keep them from doing what I did. I am truly grateful for these powers, and for the trust of others. It just gets to be a lot sometimes.”

“Then, we’ll put more effort into giving you a chance to recharge. Maybe we can take a holiday, relax for a bit. Somewhere remote.”

“That would be nice. Maybe Tony has a holiday home we could borrow,” you managed to laugh. Steve laughed back, though he was sure you were still feeling miserable.

“Where did you get the flowers?”

“A nice man was in the graveyard, putting flowers on forgotten graves. He gave some to me when he saw I was upset,” you replied, picking them up, and touching some of the petals delicately. You would never forget that man, and you were already considering pressing the flowers when you got back to Washington.

Steve smiled. He wasn’t really sure what he could say about that man, except that he wished he could meet him and thank him.

“They’re beautiful. Actually, I have something for you too,” he eventually said. “I don’t know if this will make you feel any better right now, but you would want it anyway.”

Steve pulled a package out of his bag and handed it to you. You carefully unwrapped it, and an aged yet familiar book was inside.

You turned it over, and the lettering you had embroidered was still there, if a little faded and dull.

Our Wedding.

It was your wedding album.

“Where did you find this?” you asked, touching the stitching gingerly.

“Peggy’s daughter found it in her attic,” Steve replied.

You opened the album carefully, and read what you had written on the first page. James Buchanan Barnes and (Y/N) Barnes, married October 5th, 1939.

The photos were a little worn, but you were still able to see them. There were photos of you getting ready, and of Bucky and Steve getting ready too. You looked through the photos of the guests fondly. Then, you came across the photo you loved the most.

It was of you, Bucky and Steve, after the ceremony. You were in the middle, smiling, leaning forward and looking down slightly. You had your arms around Steve, to your right, and Bucky, to your left.

Steve had one arm around you, and with his free hand, he held your bouquet. He was laughing as if someone had just told a joke, though you couldn’t remember exactly what it was, and he was looking at the camera.

Then there was Bucky. He had both of his arms wrapped around you, and was looking at you with bright eyes. He wasn’t turned directly into you though, so you could still see most of his face.

You smiled looking at this photo. You had always loved it, but now, it was even more special. The three of you were together, laughing, and you were all happy. This was how it was always supposed to be.

A bittersweet tear made it’s way down your cheek, as you reached out to touch the image of Bucky.

“Thank you Steve,” you said shakily, as Steve put an arm around you. You rested your head on his shoulder, still looking at the photo.