it always makes me laugh that Spock went into a trance standing, like, he knew he was gonna fall over, and he didnt even try to sit down, he was just like “yes captain, i can go into this trance, in fact, i’ll do it right now”
the only reason i can think of with why he did that was just so his boyfriends could catch him like the Vulcan in Distress he is.
i am just,,, laughing thinking about jim high fiving amanda because sarek is a fine piece of ass and he knows his bf is gonna age like fine wine and sarek and spock are just,,, so,,, beyond,,, distressed,,, humans are Wild
The Spones fandom is made up of some
of the most talented people but is tiny and in need of more content. Due
to this fact, there are significantly less Spones fics so I searched
extra hard to compile a good, lengthy list of fics.. and somehow managed
to find way more fics than I did for my Mckirk one?? Why am I such
trash, help I need a life.
Spock writes McCoy a letter of confession, despite not quite knowing how to write a love letter. (A super sweet insight into Spock’s mind, especially on his thoughts on the Enterprise’s resident doctor.)
It’s a special kind of hell, becoming obsessed with the laughter of a
man who barely even smiles unless he’s high or dying of blood loss. Leonard doesn’t handle it particularly well. (A hilariously frustrating fic in which Bones becomes a little too obsessed with trying to hear Spock laugh just once more.)
Leonard McCoy sees his friends bleed. He loves the blood when it is
inside them, flushing their cheeks and warming their skin. When it
colors his hands on the operating table, he can think of little but the
time he has with them, and a minute is too long to waste. He’s not going
to let Spock get away that easily. (Gruesome and sad yet somehow really sweet.)
McCoy’s consciousness is transferred into an android body after a fatal
accident. Spock helps him remember the man he used to be. (Wow a really creative and fascinating fic that could have gone totally wrong if it hadn’t been
written by such a talented author.)
Jim, being the captain that he is, and wanting to show each of his crew members that he cares about them, decides to learn Vulcan. It’s a lot of late-night lessons with an almost-annoyingly-patient Uhura, a million stilted audio recordings, and a few vague educational brochures, but Jim figures it’s worth it. Spock’s a hard guy to get to know, and if this is going to help Jim get closer to his first officer (in a purely platonic sense. Purely. Platonic.) then he figures it’s worth a shot.
While I’m getting my writing brain back into Colony War, here’s a hurt/comfort quickie to keep you company.
Bleeding by Kara Storm
Kirk’s voice has a breathiness that indicates high emotion, enough to restrict the diaphragm. His knees came down hard on the ground beside Spock. Hands take hold of Spock’s arms with no consideration for Vulcan sensibilities.
“Spock.” Even quieter. Even more poignant. Then with face turned away. “Bones!”
Spock’s consciousness rises up within his shattered body, manages to crack eyes open. He feels acutely responsible for Kirk’s distress, which is illogical. Kirk’s emotions should be solely his own responsibility. But Spock’s own response overwhelms logic in this, as does the vision of Kirk above him, posture captured mid-action.
Kirk searches Spock’s eyes and his face swells into a pained smile, eyes glowing with inner joy. “Hey.” Warmth floods from Kirk’s hands into Spock’s limbs, emotional warmth that is difficult to distinguish from thermal warmth. His shattered body becomes distant. A mix of relief, sympathetic pain, and hope wash through him, pushing mortal limitations aside.
Spock turns away from Kirk’s gaze of raw affection to recover his own mind. He wavers. His control has been weakened by emotion and he can no longer block the pain hammering within. He makes a noise he at first refuses to acknowledge, a moan of distress.
Kirk’s hands tighten, release. “Sorry, Spock.”
He has let Spock go, let him be himself again. Kirk’s body turns, knees grind on the dry soil. “Bones! Over here.”
A figure descends on the other side, equipment whirls over Spock’s chest, his abdomen.
“Bones?” Kirk, pained and impatient. Again Spock’s emotions try to rise to meet Kirk’s even though they are not touching. Spock knows the inner shape of Kirk’s pain just from his voice. His voice is a sculpture of what’s within.
“He’s bleeding internally.” McCoy slides equipment straps off his shoulders, begins unpacking in a meticulous hurry. He calls over an ensign, makes him give up his field coat. McCoy rolls this and puts it under Spock’s feet.
McCoy parts Spock’s uniform shirt with a laser and tosses the bloodied halves of it to the sides.
“Oh, Spock,” Kirk whispers.
Spock can’t lift his head to see himself. He can smell the stress of his body. He feels the liquids that once seeped into his shirt and now bubble into the open air.
“I just have to seal off a few bleeders so we can get him back to the shuttle. Hold this.”
Kirk takes the instruments he is handed. A portable sterile light flicks on, is repositioned. It turns the Vulcan blood a brownish purple color, the torn tissue a faint blue.
McCoy’s protoplaser sizzles.
“Is he going to be all right?”
Kirk’s question is ignored. The equipment hums and whirls. Kirk hands over the laser scalpel when requested.
“Bones?” Kirk sounds like a man lost for weeks on a deserted world.
Spock fumbles over the ground with his fingers and find’s Kirk’s knee beside his hip, rests his hand on it.
“Rest Spock. Please,” Kirk says. Then a long pause. “But thanks.”
McCoy glances up at Kirk, fixes him with Southern doctor scrutiny, returns to cutting and sealing.
McCoy finishes up, covers the open wounds with dermaskin. “Pain must be making him too weak to be Vulcan.” He mutters. He puts things away. “Can you carry him? He seems to tolerate your touch, even hurt. He can’t handle much strain.”
Spock still listens even though he cannot hold his eyes open. He anticipates Kirk’s touch with a strange thrill that is wholly, shamefully illogical. Kirk’s hands slide behind his neck, down his back, under his knees, cradling in the point eight g gravity rather than hefting. They rise together. Spock’s feet dangle.
“I’m sorry, Spock.”
Spock wonders what the apology is for. He is periodically losing touch with his surroundings. Perhaps he moaned again and does not realize it. He deeply regrets if he did. He wants to reach out again, assuage Kirk’s pain, but cannot move his arms.
Spock’s head lolls onto Kirk’s chest, high on his breast, temple at his shoulder. Kirk is muscularly padded in a manner solely human. Spock finds this deeply intriguing in a way that does not conform with biological study.
Spock feels Kirk everywhere around him, physically and psychically. He is pulled closer, cradled. Spock’s will to stand apart slips away. His body no longer obeys him, and his mind seems intent upon joining. He settles into Kirk’s care, helplessly senses Kirk’s sympathetic pain balming old wounds and loneliness. Standing apart. Following his own way. Belonging. It has become hopelessly confused.
“We’re going to take care of you, Spock.” Kirk’s voice is soft, caressing.
Spock believes him utterly, gives himself over to his captain, and to unconsciousness.
You couldn’t really explain why you couldn’t sleep. You have no reason to be wide awake, yet you find yourself wide-eyed in your bed. It wasn’t like anything had happened that day, or even the day before for a matter of fact. You didn’t forget to do anything, nor did you have to be working. You have no reason other than the thoughts running wild through the back of your mind tirelessly. If it weren’t for Spock sleeping soundly next to you, you would have gotten up. So there you lay, just you, your thoughts, and the dark.
Perhaps it wasn’t just one thing, but rather a bunch of things that have happened over time. It all builds up inside of you until you can no longer think straight. You begin to think about everyone on the crew and how each one of them has suffered over time, especially the one who lays right next to you.
“Is everything alright T’hy’la?”
His raspy voice startles you for a minute, causing you to freeze. Letting go of the breath you were unconsciously holding for a while, you search for words. You begin to wonder how long he has been awake.
“Yeah.” is all you manage to come up with.
Not fully convinced, he prods a little further into your thoughts. His warm fingers tenderly entwine with yours unexpectedly, compelling you to look over at him. The first thing you notice is how soft his features are. While working, he displays the same stoic expression that seems unbreakable but here, everything is different.
“Are you positive (y/n)? Perhaps you forget that we have bonded.”
“I’m fine.” you lie.
An awkward silence fills the room for a moment. Guilt takes over you for lying to him because he has only been honest with you. In reality, you didn’t even know what is wrong. There is just the incessant feeling like something is buzzing in the back of your mind.
“Do I not satisfy you (y/n)? Am I not performing my duties as your mate satisfactorily?”
You turn on your side to get a better look at him. His voice is filled with worry which is unnerving. The fact that he would assume that he is the problem is unnerving considering he may be the only thing keeping you together. His dewey eyes search your face for any hint of distress.
“Spock no.” your hand stretches out for his face.
His brows knit together, searching even deeper for the reason of your uneasiness. The evening scruff of his face tickles your fingers as your caress the side of his flushed cheek. A tear wells up in the corner of your eye. You can’t believe he would assume you are the origin of your troubles.
“I’m sorry.” you whisper barely audible.
“I surmised that your unhappiness stemmed from my lack of intimacy.” he informs.
“Spock, our relationship is perfect the way it is. Sure I love small kisses and hugs but moments like these are so rare that they are more enjoyable. In all honesty, you are the only thing keeping me together at this point.”
“What is the matter?”
“That’s the problem. I really don’t know. I just need to clear my mind.”
“Perhaps I can assist you.”
He takes the initiate and moves closer to you, so close that your heads rest on the same pillow. His lips delicately connect with your jaw, leaving a trail of faint kisses. You feel his breath hitch momentarily as he makes his way behind your ear. Only then to you notice that a tip of a finger ghosts over your lips, like he is exploring, only for his lips to follow. Heavy thoughts fill your mind, tearing you attention away from your anxiety.
He flips and hovers over you, making you feel diminutive under his broad frame. Your hands mindlessly clasp around the back of his neck, feeling his warm skin against the pads your fingertips. He never fails to provide what you need at the exact time. Now you are able to let go completely, focusing on the sound of him exhaling and inhaling. His kissed trail down to your chin, your neck, and to your stomach. His lips flutter against your stomach, hands caressing the curve of your waist. A soft hum parts your lips as he sits up, eyes scouring over your entire body.
“Yes T’hy’la?” his voice is unusually low.
“I ashaya du.”
A small gesture of your affection means more than anything to him. He slides his hands up the side of your chest and curl around your back. His touch is warm in comparison to the cool sheets. Whether a night like this is actually what your need or a mere distraction, you are able to think straight.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look?”
“Only every day.”
“I don’t want you to forget it.”
“As long as I have you I never will.”
[author’s note: I know this is short, but I hope you enjoy a little bit more of an intimate imagine. I like the idea of it. I think there will be more to come.]
The mass spectrometer chirped, informing you that your samples were ready. You stepped over to the machine and looked at the initial read out. Commander Spock stepped over to look over your shoulder.
“That looks promising, Lieutenant,” he commented. You nodded and proceeded to pull your samples. Spock must have been standing closer than you’d thought, because as you turned around, you bumped into him and dropped the tray, shattering the tray of samples. A fine mist evaporated into the air, and you dropped to your knees to clean up the mess. Spock knelt across from you to assist. “I apologize, Lieutenant Y/L/N. I allowed myself to be distracted by your findings, and didn’t realize I was standing too close to you.”
“I have more samples. It means more work, but I have more samples, thankfully,” you replied. There was no use being upset over it, particularly with Spock at fault. Being too emotional would compromise the working relationship that you’d developed with him. And what you’d said was true. There were more samples, and you had nothing but time on your hands. As you worked to clean up the mess together, his bare hand brushed against yours a number of times, each time eliciting an apology from him. And then Spock sneezed, distracting you from your clean-up. Your brow furrowed in concern. “Are you okay? I’ve never heard you sneeze before.”
And so it begins! Part One of a ten-part series written for @outside-the-government‘s ‘Write Away the Winter Blues’ challenge! I’m thinking 1-2 instalments per week as it goes. I’ll put it together in one long post at the end. Beware, the prompt may look fluffy, but this story is definitely more adventure-suspense (with fluff involved of course!)
UPDATE: This fic is now complete! Please see my MASTERLIST for all following parts :)
Because I love them both, I’m melding the TOS and AOS Bones timelines. If you so desire, there are Easter eggs to be found!
Fandom: Star Trek (AOS/TOS).
Pairing: Reader X Bones
Warnings: some suspense, a few mild swear words. Can’t think of anything else!
Tagging @medicatemedrmccoy :D Thanks for letting me ramble about this fic! If anyone else wants to be tagged just let me know!
“Captain’s Log, Stardate 2285.4. We are orbiting an unknown planet, which lies beyond Starfleet’s updated star charts. I’ve elected to call it ‘Surak’, because it looks peaceful, but it appears there’s turbulence under the surface. Plus I’m 99% certain it will annoy Mr. Spock, a fringe benefit of being Captain.”
“Captain, I am incapable of experiencing annoyance.”
“I amend my statement. I am 100% certain it annoys Mr. Spock. Regardless, we have detected a Starfleet medical distress signal coming from
this planet, which - according got our sensors - currently houses humanoid life with a culture distinctly similar to early 21st century Earth. To limit possible disruption, I am only sending Dr. McCoy and security officer Y/l/n to the planet’s surface. They are scheduled to report back in one hour.”
Pressing the button to end recording, Kirk looked out at the slowly rotating planet, the red land gleaming in sunlight. You and Bones were down there somewhere. It was the right call but still, he hated not being on the away mission. Drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair, Kirk realized it was useless.
“Mr. Spock, you have the con.” rising from his seat, Kirk moved to leave the bridge. Maybe if he practiced some more he could finally get that nerve pinch to work.
When you joined the USS Enterprise crew, you were astounded by how close everyone was. A dysfunctional family, if you will. Just a timid human girl, you were ready to start a new life. You quickly became the pretty girl with the sweet voice and charming eyes. Everyone liked to be around you, and you felt relieved that you had found your place within the family quickly.
After two years of being part of the crew, you happily fit in with everyone. As a nurse, you tend to a lot of the people in the crew. You spend a large portion of time subconsciously worrying about how people are. Actions have consequences and some more than others reap the consequences of their actions. But that wasn’t the only bond you have formed over the two years on the ship. Spock, the impassive alien commander wasn’t as inexpressive as everyone thought. In order to keep the peace on the ship, you two agreed to keep your relationship behind closed doors for now.
You walk down the hallway, your delicate hands folded behind your back. Giving a warm smile to anyone who passes you, you make your way up to the bridge to see how everyone was doing. Stepping into the room, you peer over and make brief eye contact with Spock. A small glint flashes in your eyes and you turn your attention to the captain to hide your expression.
“Good morning Captain.” you hum softly.
“(Y/L/N), good to see you this morning.” he sings.
“The feeling is reciprocated Captain.”
“God have you been hanging around Spock too much?” he laughs.
A warm glow creeps onto your round cheeks as you fidget with your fingers behind your back. Trying to waive it off, you take another breath and clear your throat. Captain Kirk smiles at you and pats your shoulder. The touch, although inviting, makes you feel a little uneasy.
“Excuse me captain, I have someone waiting in the MedBay for me.”
You turn away on your heels and start to head down the hallway. Pondering if people are catching onto you and spock, you listen to your heels click against the floors. A taller figure catches up with you and soon is walking along side you.
“Good morning Lieutenant (Y/L/N).” spock speaks.
A smile is draw to your lips. Even though the two of you are alone, he always calls you by your proper rank and name during work hours. Agreeing to play along, you enter though the doors of the MedBay where Bones is scanning someone for internal injury.
“Commander Spock, good morning. How can I assist you this morning?”
“I am here to inform you that the Captain and I will be leading a team out for a rescue mission. The captain wanted medbay to be prepared for any injured rescued. And being frank, the captain’s record for returning uninjured is less than admirable.”
“How many are expected to be rescued? Is there any danger in this mission?”
“The number of people being rescued is unclear. There is though, a probably cause for danger. We will be entering Klingon territory.”
Your heart sank down into your stomach when he mentions the Klingons. No matter how many times the federation has attempted to make peace, the Klingons refuse to give up their hostility. The last mission resulted in fifteen critical injuries, and a very close call. You look at spock, knowing he senses your distress.
“Whatever you do, don’t let Kirk do anything stupid.” bones yells from across the room.
“May I accompany you to the transporter pad Commander?”
“I don’t see a reason why not.”
He trails out of the room with the same stature that he always holds. His frame stands tall and rigid and to anyone else he looks like his usual self. To you on the other hand, he looks soft. He can tell that you are worried about him and he tries to project his feelings to you. Tenderly, he guides you into a storage room where he can freely express his opinions.
“Lieutenant there is no need to worry. While the Klingons are hostile, I have every confidence in the Captain.”
“Spock, I know you do, and I do too. But these are the Klingons we are talking about. At least let me come with! I can talk to Jim. It is better to have a medical officer there anyways.”
“Lieutenant while your thinking is sound, there is no need. Your resources will be needed on the ship. That is where you can be the most help.”
“You are just saying that so you know I am safe on the ship.” you frown.
“You know that my concern for your safety is of great importance.”
He opens his arms just enough for you to slide into his tight grip. Pressing your cheek against his chest, he tucks your head underneath his chin. While his actions are reassuring of his affection, you already knew he cared for you. You want to keep him safe. His hand glides across the small of your back. His touch is strong yet settling.
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” you mumble into his jacket.
“While I can not predict the future, I will do everything in my power to make sure I return for you.”
You let out a heavy sigh and pull away from your boyfriend. If it were up to you, you would never let go. You hate being so secretive about your relationship but if it made him happy, you were happy. The two of you walk out back into the hallway and down to the transporter pad. The captain raises a suspicious eyebrow at the odd couple but decides to leave it alone. Maybe he already knows, but he does know the two of you are good for each other. That’s all that matters.
[hey guys. I wrote this one on a whim. It’s not my best. I’m feeling under the weather. Hope you enjoy it though. I’ve got a few in the works that I hope to finish soon.]
Mckirk fluff idea: Bones gets turned into a kid, who’s small even for his age, with big hazel eyes and a mop of brown hair. To everyone’s surprise, he sticks to Spock like glue, following him around like a duckling, asking him a million science questions, and telling him proudly, “I’m gonna be a doctor when I’m big!”
Spock smiles gently, visibly content, but Jim’s quite distressed over the situation. He thought he was good with kids, but whenever he tries to talk to mini Bones, he hides behind Spock’s leg, clutching tight, and looks at him with big wary hazel eyes. Jim’s heart breaks every time.
Jim can’t stand the kid’s discomfort around him and asks him why he’s scared of him. He earns a huff from the kid, who mumbles, “I’m not scared…it’s just…” he blushes like crazy, “You’re really pretty…”
Bonus: Jim grinning like crazy when Bones turns back to normal, crooning, “You think I’m preeeeetttty.” Bones just blushes and glares, and Jim sneaks close to give a kiss to his nose, saying, “Don’t worry, I think you’re pretty too.”
The story is now complete! Below the cut you will find the entirety of Terra Nova in one easy-to-access post! You guys are the best, my first long fic experience in this community was pretty incredible! <3 Thanks again to @outside-the-government for the amazing prompt :)
Pairing: Reader X Bones
Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of childbirth, descriptions of explosions, tension, secondary character death
Star Trek 2009 Rewrite: Things that I wanted to happen but didn’t
-Spock’s birth starts the movie and then Jim’s birth in space is shown after because of parallels
-Sam (Jim’s brother) tells Jim he’s leaving for good and can’t take Jim with him. He apologizes before leaving. Jim either begs Sam not to leave, or asks if he will come back. Sam makes no promises but you can tell he’s struggling to leave his brother
-Jim then steals the car, passing Sam walking by and drives the car of the cliff
-After this car over cliff incident Jim, and his “Uncle” Frank have a conversation that parallels the one Spock and Sarek had after Spock beats up his bully. During this conversation, Frank tells Jim he’s sending Jim off planet to an earth colony. Jim tells Frank his mom won’t let him, and Frank will say that your mom is off planet she won’t find out
-Or during this conversation Frank yells at Jim saying “you’re mom may be on Tarsus IV but that doesn’t mean I can’t punish you” because Winona being off planet made me think what if she was on Tarsus and survived the experience
-After Spock rejects the VSA, but before the bar scene, Jim is seen talking to someone in Riverside while looking at the shipyard, this person says it would be cool to be in Starfleet, Jim expresses how will never want to join and gives reasons why (other reasons besides his father dying)
-No boob grab in the bar fight
-We see how Bones got onto that Shuttle or how he decided to join Starfleet
-Captain Pike reprimanding the cadets for attacking a civilian
-A Spock and Uhura first meeting that parallels with Bones and Jim
-Spock speaking in Vulcan with Uhura at the academy
-Some comment, scene or moment where Jim states he slept with someone male or expresses his pansexuality
-At his hearing, Jim gets the last word instead of Spock before the distress call from Vulcan and is smug
-But his smugness does not last when Gaila yells at Jim for using her to cheat on the test instead of just asking for her help
-Gaila and Uhura are both assigned to the enterprise
-When Nero introduces himself not only does he direct his attention to Spock, he addresses Jim as well because of parallels
-Vulcan doesn’t get destroyed completely but his damaged significantly that many Vulcan’s die
-Instead Sarek is the one to die saving Spock and Amanda’s life so it parallels with George Kirk dying protecting his wife and son
-Spock feels his father’s love for him and his mother before his death
-Ambassador Spock interacting with Amanda, and Bones
-Ambassador Spock showing his pendant recording of Jim to Spock when trying to convince him to stay in Starfleet
-Ambassador Spock referring to his Jim Kirk as t'hy'la (this can just mean brother and friend for non shippers) (shipper or not you cannot deny Spock and Jim share a deep connection)
-Memorial service for all those who died because of Nero including George Kirk, Kelvin Crew, Starfleet Cadets, Sarek and other Vulcans
-Graduating ceremony at the academy for the entire crew which includes Gaila. Scotty and Keenser are watching in the audience
-Then Jim Kirk becomes Captain with his crew watching with smiles
S'chn T'gai Spock died as a child when his Ambassador
parents went off-world to visit a construction colony and a terrible
accident devastated the planet. Twenty years later, the crew of the Enterprise is assigned to seek out and detain a highly-trained crew of thieves led by a man known as Tam'a – the Ghost.
In which Jim watches the security tapes of when he died, and finds out that Spock might be a little more human than he thought.
(Based off this prompt from ST:ID Kink Meme: “When Kirk dies, Spock
just spills his guts out to Kirk’s dead body. He confesses his love and
all the squishy illogical feelings he never allowed himself to
acknowledge or admit. After Kirk is revived, he ends up watching the security tapes of that moment and hears Spock’s confession.”)
Jim is sure there’s a spark between him and his First Officer, but
Spock, ever practical, is reluctant to take the next step. Everything
changes, however, when a transporter accident leaves a sixteen year old
Spock, right in the middle of his rebellious stage, on the Enterprise. As Jim tries to deal with the aftermath of his friend’s transformation,
the Enterprise encounters a rogue Romulan ship on its way to New Vulcan.
Spock’s interactions with the vessel’s Commander provide a new threat
to the ship’s safety–and a new complication to Spock’s relationship
When they were obliged to take their host’s truth serum, neither Jim nor
Spock had considered what kind of “truth” they might reveal to one
another - or to themselves. An already interesting away mission goes
far differently than planned…!
When the Enterprise receives a December assignment to accompany
a Federation investigation on Tarsus IV, Jim is forced to confront not
only the trauma he experienced there, but also his conflicted feelings
about Christmas, his childhood, and his first officer.
In the treacherous, misty hills of Orion juts a great mountain. There
one can find Gaila, Queen of the Cloudfolk, her daughter and heir,
Kailan, and a lone warrior who is not like the rest. When a party of
Vulcans arrive from the far south with promises on their lips and lirpas
standing tall at their hips, one wonders if a victor can rise from
GRAPHIC VIOLENCEand mod’s note: READ THIS. Out of all these it’s my favorite. Fierce human warrior and the enemy’s ambassador/assassin, everything undone by a legendary soulbond. Seriously. What more could you ask for. It made me squeal in public and I wasn’t even embarrassed.
When Captain Kirk calls an emergency meeting, you know it is serious. You got the page while you and your boyfriend Spock were in the middle of an intense game of chess. Behind closed quarters, your relationship with Spock is like no other. The two of you often sneak into one another’s room to spend time with each other. When the two of you mutually agreed to enter into a relationship, both of you decided that it was best to keep it private for now.
“Emergency meeting. This can’t be good.” you bite your lip, looking at the page.
“I would agree.”
The two of you abandon the chess board, a few of the pawns falling over as you get up. He opens the door, kindly allowing you to exit first. As you pass, one of his hands falls against your waist, startling you. Peering back to him, you give him a faint smile before hugging him gently. Returning to your destination, you walk at a brisk pace in order to take part in the meeting.
When you walk into the meeting room, there are two seats left at the large oval shaped table. You sit down, Spock on your right and Sulu on your left. Captain Kirk clears his throat and everyone looks to him with full attention.
“I’d like to thank everyone for coming as soon as you did. We have something to discuss, and I want to talk it over with everyone.” he says, folding his hands together.
There is a long pause, causing the tension to build up in the room. Everyone is looking around to each other, trying to figure out what could be happening. You look around to make sure that everyone is there, and you ca’t find anyone missing.
“I got the order that we are to travel into uncharted territory in a new nebula.” he says with a straight face.
To most people, Spock is unreadable. Because you have spend so much time with him in private, you are able to tell his reactions and feelings. Noticing a small twitch in his jaw, and feeling his calf muscle tense, you know that means something is wrong. Being on the medical team, you aren’t always aware of how dangerous something can be, it’s just your job to tend to the wounded. Sliding your hand along his thigh, you reach for his hand.
Holding hands wasn’t something you did very often in the past, but recently it has become a very intimate action. Being in space has come with its challenges as well as its insecurities. There have been moments of being scared, and Spock has always been your rock. His large fingers entwine with yours secretly underneath the table.
“Captain, what is the reasoning for traveling into this nebula.” Uhura asks.
“There is said to be an abundance of Dilithium on the planet.”
“I must say, Captain, that is a lot of risk for something we can harvest in charted territory.” Spock comments.
“I would agree commander, however this is said to be a different strain of dilithium. Technologists have been working on a new form of warp technology but the dilithium isn’t strong enough.” kirk shakes his head.
“So how can we prepare Captain?” you ask, squeezing Spock’s hand tighter.
His thumb grazes softly over your knuckles, an attempt to calm some of your nerves. You love that gesture, especially because no one knows it is happening. This is a perfect representation of your relationship. It’s an intimate and close relationship, but hidden to everyone else. It’s almost exhilarating to hide it from everyone. It’s like being a little kid again, giddy with a secret that you can’t tell anyone.
“Each unit has a check list of things they can do. Medical, I’d like you to stock up as much as possible and please freshen up on wound care.”
“Why’s that Captain?” Bones asks, leaning forward.
“Since this is uncharted territory, we have no clue what kind of life forms are inhabiting this area.” he warns.
“Its rumored that a species we have never encountered before. This species is told to be vicious and animalistic.” you stumble.
“Correct. That is why it is important to be prepared. It is our job to start charting and to find where we can start harvesting. Is everyone okay with that?” he peers around to everyone at the table.
No one objects, so the meeting is adjourned. You approach Bones, letting your hand slip away from Spock’s. Bones is looking over his supplies chart on his tablet.
“Bones, what can we do to prepare?” you ask.
“Well first we need to make sure everyone is fit for commission. It does us no go to have injured or sick crew members go out.”
“I would agree. I will send out a notice that everyone should come visit us at MedBay. Then I will do some research on some new techniques.”
“Not a bad idea Lieutenant (y/l/n), I’ll do the same.”
You look over to Spock, who is talking with Captain Kirk. He looks calm, but you can tell that there is a hint of anger inside of him. With his hands folded behind his back, he listens intently on what the Captain is explaining.
“(y/n)?” he says, drawing your attention.
“I just want you to know he’s in good hands. He knows how to take care of himself.”
You look at the doctor with scared, pleading eyes. You should have known that he would figure it out. When you aren’t with Spock you are with Bones.
“How did you?” you are cut off.
“You have this look in your eyes. They tell it all. You get the same way when you are taking care of someone.”
“Do me a favor and keep it on the down low, doc?”
“Sure thing (y/n).”
You depart from the doctor and exit the board room. Spock follows behind shortly, catching up to you. He doesn’t say a single word the entire walk back to the dorms. Making sure the coast is clear, you peer around to avoid anyone seeing you go into the same place. You enter swiftly and Spock follows suit. Once he shuts the door, you are able to be real with him for a minute. Going into uncharted territory makes you feel anxious because Kirk and Spock are the ones at greatest risk.
He sees your distress, grabbing your hand once again. A single tear drips down your cheek, and you quickly wipe it away with your free hand. Leaning against his chest, you feel safe.
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” you squeak out.
“Nothing is going to happen to me (y/n), I won’t let that happen. It’s illogical to start a relationship if I felt I was in any danger.”
“You can’t say that Spock.”
“Vulcans can not lie.”
You feel his hand creep around your shoulder and plant around the base of your neck. One of his fingertips grazes above the collar of your dress, touching skin. His touch tingles, a magical sensation. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his grip tightening. This is a side of him you don’t see very often. Every now and then, the human in him gets the best of his vulcan control.
“It is my duty to keep both you and myself safe, and I will not fail you.” he mumbles against your shoulder.
It’s maybe not quite what you had in mind, and I couldn’t end it properly, but here’s a thing anyway. :)
It felt like he was pushing his way through a deep dark mass. Like swimming up to the top of the ocean against a current, He could see the light, where he needed to be, but before it was an obstacle trying to stop him, pushing back against him.
And just before he got to the light, he was hit with the memories held within the darkness.
Jim doing his best to hold back the pain as he knew he was dying.
Jim asking after the ship, the crew, making sure that the others were going to be okay.
Jim begging for Spock to help him through the last moments of his life and Spock being unable to do anything to help.
He remembers the rage that came after it.
He might have yelled and then it’s a mess of darkness and rage.
There was pain and darkness and that’s all he can remember.
And then he wakes up and reality is the same.
The pain he felt is there as he takes a deep breath like he’s surfaced from the water. But he’s in a room. A normal safe room. He doesn’t know where it is, where he is.
He can’t even tell if he’s on the ship anymore.
He left Jim’s body. He didn’t wait for the room to be safe enough to open the door, he’d just left.
Was he still there, then?
Did Mister Scott take the initiative to retrieve the body and send it to sickbay?
He didn’t even know.
His mind seemed so empty.
He sat up and took stock of himself.
There were bruises, deep ones, that he couldn’t recall. It took a lot to bruise a Vulcan and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had ones so vivid.
What had he done to receive them?
The gaps in his memory concerned him greatly.
He pulled on the clothing neatly folded by the bed and left the room.
The noise and vitality, the brightness outside of that room had him staggering back towards the quiet darkness he’d left behind.
He realised now that the room was soundproofed and in that brief glimpse he’d had, he knew he was still on the ship. The door slid shut and blocked out the noise and brightness.
Holding himself steady against the bed, he recovered himself, trying to get himself together for another attempt.
He didn’t expect the door to open itself.
“I wondered when you’d wake up,” came the familiar tone of Doctor McCoy.
Spock felt an irrational irritation at the man’s voice, calm and measured as it was. But despite the press of emotions he felt, Spock said nothing as though he simply could not force words to come together.
McCoy’s hand clamped around Spock’s upper arm and moved him back to the bed, pushing at his shoulders until he was seated on the bed.
And Spock complied. He didn’t even know why.
McCoy was shining a light in Spock’s eyes and Spock turned his head away from the painful brightness. “Still light sensitive, huh? I can give you something for that.”
“Or you could allow me to return to my quarter,” Spock replied voice sounding weak from disuse.
“Do you know how long you’ve been out? Two and a half days. That’ll teach you to meld with a psychopath.”
Spock felt coldness settle over him as McCoy’s words sunk in. “I do not know-”
“Khan.” McCoy interrupted. “Once you were back on the Enterprise, Khan knocked out, you melded with him. God knows why. We almost couldn’t get you out of it. In the end, we just had to pry you off of him. We didn’t know if we’d do any damage to you but we had to do it.”
“Khan is in custody?”
“Back in his pod. Frozen where he needs to stay.”
“I do not recall-”
“It’s fine. Some of this might come back to you give a little more time.”
A moment of clarity then. His dreams coming back to him. Jim.
“Have I missed Kirk’s service?” he asks. He hopes his voice sounds steadier than it sounded to him.
McCoy’s face pales and he turns and leaves the room.
And Spock can’t help himself, rather than do anything else, he lays back down on the bed.
McCoy’s back in soon enough, though Spock has no idea how long he’d been gone, and he comes round and pulls him back up into a sitting position. Spock should object but he doesn’t feel as though it’s worth the effort so he makes no protest. “Come on,” McCoy encourages as he leads him back to the door. Spock hesitates, turns his head as the door opens, but realises the room’s lights have been dimmed and the noise of the busy room from before has been replaced by near silence. There are fewer people around but the ones there are busy working away and pay no attention to either of the men emerging from the room.
McCoy leads Spock across the room, across sickbay, and into another side room.
The intake of breath isn’t voluntary.
Jim is there.
Hooked up to all sort of machines, but he’s alive.
And Spock doesn’t know how.
“I do not understand,” he eventually says.
McCoy had somehow moved from beside him to the other side of Jim’s bed. “You went and got Khan and we were able to use his blood to save Jim. He’s not out of the woods yet, but it’s looking hopeful.”
“You saved him,” he eventually says, eyes transfixed on Jim.
McCoy shrugs. “I couldn’t deal with him not being around. What other choice did I have?” He watches Spock, surprised by his genuine display of distress at believing Jim was dead.
He had an urge to call Spock on the emotionalism of his reaction, but for some reason, that didn’t feel right. “We’ll be transferring him to a medical facility in San Francisco soon enough. And I want you to stick around. I-”
“I will not go anywhere,” Spock replied, eyes not leaving Jim.
“I want to make sure there’s no damage done from your meld with Khan.”
“Very well,” Spock said, dismissively. “Do you believe there will be long term effects?”
“I’m not sure. I know very little about Vulcan melds.”
Spock looked to McCoy confused. “I was referring to Jim.”
McCoy sighed. “It’s hard to say. It’s not like there are any other cases like this to refer too. We’ll keep an eye on him. It’s the best we can do. He’ll be out for a few days still.”
I’ve seen a few mentions of an aos!“evil within” where spock gets split into his human and vulcan halves and its such an awesome idea that I’m really sad there hasn’t been more exploration of it I mean
human spock slouching and putting his hands in his pockets instead of behind his back and leaning on the chair whilst he reads reports
human spock praising chekov and other crewmembers with a thumbs up whenever they do good
human spock calling mccoy “bones” (and the canon swooning that ensues)
human spock using terran slang and contractions (jim hissing like I KNEW YOU FUCKING UNDERSTOOD WHEN I USED SLANG I KNEW IT YOU LITTLE LIAR)
but without his vulcan side to clamp down on it human spock gets irritable and snappy very quickly, especially when people mess up, and actually argues more with kirk, because the captain is used to having a calm unflappable and totally dependable first officer but spock just can’t provide that kind of support without his vulcan side
like jim is still this unstoppable force but human spock isn’t the immovable object any more and without his vulcan resolve constantly pushing back against jim exhausts him
and then they find vulcan spock and its really interesting watching them together because they’re actually terrified of each other - human spock is scared that he’s going to get repressed and crushed and vulcan spock is constantly tense and waiting for the moment human spock becomes uncontrollable and unstable
and then they work out how to put them back together again jim actually gets kinda emotional in the transporter room because even though it was tough as hell, for a day or two the person he cared about most smiled at him and was open and didn’t mind touching him
human spock noticing jim’s distress and giving him a massive hug saying its okay I’m not going anywhere I will always be here you’ve just gotta be patient with us
spock reappearing on the transporter pad whole and when everyone cheers that he’s back and safe he gives them all the tiniest little smile