tmp drabbles

anonymous asked:

Mindy and Richie go out to brunch and get tipsy.

okay so I’m a slacker and apparently we’re posting these tonight so sorry thew this together! Also I just drank a mimosa so this is biased.

“Richie!” Mindy shrieked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to clutch his arm. “You know what we need to do?”

 “Hijack Danny’s closet and buy him an entirely new wardrobe?” Richie waggled his eyebrows.

“Only if we can keep the children’s small tees I sneak in there - I think I can get him to wear them a couple more times before he realizes I’ve thrown away all his adult ones. Wait, now I’m getting distracted.” Mindy shook her head. She grinned, pulling Richie in close. “We have to have brunch!”

“Of course!” Richie rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket. “Why else would I carry these jam samples around?”

“Ohmigod. You and Danny are just alike. No one’s jelly is good enough for you two, and we both know I’m stocked in that department!” Mindy threw her hands up in futility, gesturing towards her butt.

Richie smirked. “Okay, Destiny’s Child. I know I’m a jam-carrying schlub, but I’m more fun than Danny, aren’t I?”

“Oh, god, yes,” Mindy nodded forcefully. “Which is why you’re the perfect brunch buddy! Danny just likes to judge the food. I know that you, however, will judge the people with me!”

“What else is brunch for?”

“You are quickly becoming my favorite Castellano. Oh, and be sure to repeat that around Danny. What, a little competition never hurt a relationship,” Mindy shrugged at Richie’s questioning look, beginning to move the two down the street towards her weekly brunch spot. Richie threw his head back and laughed as he followed Mindy into a tiny restaurant. She quickly grabbed the table in the corner, calling on a waitress for a “pitcher of mimosas”.

Richie lowered the menu. “So. Who’s our first victim?”

Mindy eyed the restaurant. “Oh! How about that old man over there? Can you see those gross old whicker shoes he’s wearing?”

“Oh, that’s bad,” Richie wrinkled his nose. He ticked his head to his left. “The couple over there is arguing about tile colors. How much you wanna bet they’re married and trying to recapture their youth for a few hours by having brunch in the city?”

“Oh you are good,” Mindy nodded, accepting a mimosa from the waitress. She turned to Richie and held up her glass. “To brunch.”

“To brunch!” Richie cheered, clinking his glass before politely taking a sip and watching as Mindy downed half of hers in one gulp.

Mindy frowned. “Come on, I can’t be the only person tipsy here! Matilda and Greg aren’t gonna judge themselves,” she added, earning a glare from the couple. “Stop speaking so loud if you don’t want people to hear! Sheesh,” she rolled her eyes. She held up her glass again. “So…brunch?”

“Brunch,” Richie replied, clinking their glasses once again before following in Mindy’s footsteps and chugging his drink. He licked his lips and leaned in. “So, tell me – any hot gossip in the practice?”

“No,” Mindy groaned, filling the two’s glasses. “Not one ounce. I tried to institute a man-crush-Monday meeting, but Danny shut it down.”

Richie nodded sympathetically. “How are things going between you two?”

“Good! The sex is great –“ Richie winced “and I even got him to thinkabout going on a horse-drawn carriage ride in the spring. I mean, that only started him going off on a tirade about the unjust taming of stallions, but I just daydreamed about being Kim Kardashian’s assistant until he stopped talking.”

“Well that’s great,” Richie smiled. “It’s good to see him happy. It’s almost like that Halloween where – Wait, no, I shouldn’t,” Richie stopped himself, shaking his head.

“No, what?” Mindy grabbed his hand. “I’m his girlfriend. I need to know these things.” She filled his glass again.

Richie took another sip, chuckling as he sat up. “Okay, but you’re gonna die when you hear it. Danny,” he began, “was once Johnny Castle for Halloween.”

“NO!” Mindy gasped too loudly, causing the couple next to them to scoot their table further away. “Danny Castellano went out in public, in tights, as the male lead from Dirty Dancing?!”

“Oooh yeah,” Richie laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Sometimes, when he used to clean the house, I would catch him practicing his ChaCha and saying the words along to the movie!”

“So that’s why I keep finding these stretched-out black muscle tees on the closet floor!” Mindy cackled. “Oh, he’s never gonna live this one down. This is gold. Thank you, Richie. You’re officially my favorite Castellano!”

“And you’re my favorite Lahiri!” Richie replied, beaming across the table at his partner in crime. He picked up the empty pitcher and frowned. “We’re out of our party juice.”

Mindy patted his cheek affectionately. “Don’t worry. I’ve got some pre-made at home.” She stood up quickly, laughing as Richie steadied her and helped her find her balance. “Let us return home to my love!”

“And my brother!” Richie cheered, following after Mindy as she smacked a twenty down on the table and ChaCha’d out the door.

evmlove  asked:

Fic prompt: Danny and Mindy's kid asks (whoever you want) "where do babies come from?"

Cassie laid her book down on the table and turned to her mother.

“Mommy, where do babies come from?”

Danny choked on his coffee, rushing to grab a dishtowel and mop up the mess as Mindy smiled down at her daughter.

“Well, Cassie, when two people get really excited but the condoms are expired – “

“Mindy!” Danny sputtered and threw a hand over his wife’s mouth. “What are you doing? Hey – ow!’ He complained, waving his hand around. “You bit me!”

“Yeah, well, you cannot silence the voice of knowledge. I’m just trying to teach our daughter about safe sex!”

Cassie looked up at her parents with big doe eyes. “What’s safe sex?”

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Danny groaned, gesturing toward their child. He bent over so that he was eye level with his daughter. “Cassie, honey, where are all these questions coming from?”

Cassie shrugged. “Well, Mommy was watching 16 and Pregnant when I got home from school and I was wondering why the girls were so much younger than you and Mommy.” She looked pointedly at Mindy’s swollen womb.

Danny shot a look at Mindy before turning back to Cassie. “Don’t pay any attention to what those girls on the TV say, alright, baby? Mommy and Daddy took their time, because we want your little sister to have a secure, loving home when she arrives. Do you understand?” Danny held Cassie’s shoulders. “Secure. Loving. Home!” He shook her with each word as if he could drill them into her.

“Danny, stop, you’re scarring her!” Mindy pulled her husband off their child, brushing a bit of dark hair out of Cassie’s face. “Honey, I’m glad you are asking all these questions. Maybe when you’re a little bit older, we can talk more about where babies come from. Does that sound good?” Mindy looked back and forth between Cassie and Danny.

Cassie nodded. “Yes, Mommy.”

“That’s my girl. Now go on and wash up for dinner – I put your new Hello Kitty soap in the bathroom, the one with sparkles,” Mindy smiled, standing up as Cassie ran off. She turned to Danny. “See? You can start breathing again. We held off The Conversation for a couple more years.”

Danny frowned. “A couple? Try at least twenty.” Mindy smacked him on the arm. “At least we didn’t have to explain condoms.”

“What are condoms?” Cassie was back from the bathroom, drying her hands on her pants.

“No-nothing,” Danny stammered, pulling out a chair for his daughter. “Come on, let’s sit down and eat.”

“Whatever, I’ll just look it up on your iPhone the next time you ask me for help with it,” Cassie shrugged, jumping into her seat. Mindy grinned and began to eat as Danny froze in fear, making a mental note to cancel his phone line after dinner.