tiva love


Okay. This is not easy. Hardest 180 of my life.


The contrast between the beauty of the scene and the pain of it all just guts me.

First of all, I’m betting the Casablanca-esque visuals are no coincidence, and this whole sending-your-true-love-away-for-his-own-good thing has to be a nod to Rick and Ilsa. If anyone would appreciate the homage, it a truly ironic fashion, it would be Tony.

(I mean, the contrast between the first frame of them together on the tarmac, and the later one of Ziva watching Tony walk away? RIGHT IN THE FEELS.)

There’s so much going on– there’s a tension between them because they’re both trying to stick to the plan, but it’s obvious that part of them just wants to crash right back into each other. Tony’s a little more blatant about it (reminding her she can change her mind), but you can tell Ziva’s struggling too, because it was easy to say this was for the best when he was an ocean away and she hadn’t seen him in months, but it’s another when he’s standing in front of her pouring his heart out and everything comes rushing back at once.

Tony just floors me here, too, because again, in contrast to his earlier desperate last-ditch plea, he understands now that this is her choice, for better or for worse (HA!), and has fallen back into his default mode to defuse the situation. 

At the same time though, he’s not exactly letting her off the hook, in the sense that he admits this hurts. “Hardest 180 of my life” is, again, one of my favorite lines of the whole series (I keep repeating that in these two episodes), because it’s so him and so them. Because he may not say the word out loud like Ziva did, but that is definitely what he means. It pains him as much as it does her to walk away, but it’s what she says she wants, and even if they both know it’s a lie, he has to respect her wishes. Whatever has just happened here is profound and life-changing (in more ways than one HEYO), but for whatever reason, it’s not their time right now.

And the last shot of Ziva – Cote’s series-wrap – is just heartbreaking, again. Because she can’t help but grin at him as he waves her off from the plane, because he’s Tony, but as soon as he’s out of view, she breaks, because he’s Tony and now he’s gone and everything hurts. (I mean, if that isn’t Ziva, then I don’t know what is. Lighthearted one second, tragic the next.)

There’s so much to unpack about this episode and debate, but this scene? I love it. I mean, I hate it, because IT HURTS, but the scene itself is so tragically beautiful and so big and cinematic and on that level, I wholeheartedly appreciate it. Does it suck that this is the last we see of Ziva (and Tony)? Absolutely. Did Ziva deserve better in her exit? Absolutely. But the scene itself? I do love it, a lot. I wish it weren’t the end, but I wish a lot of things that don’t happen because we can’t have nice things, so I suppose I have to deal with it.

Anyway. It’s beautiful and terrible and everything in between.

(Also: does Ben Gurion Airport not have a terminal? With gates? And ramps? Cause I sure as hell haven’t boarded a transatlantic flight from the outdoor staircase, but maybe that’s just part of the old-school film charm…)

Also, again: THEY’RE SO PRETTY.

(I hate everything.)

This is the end, folks. 

(Or is it?)



“you jeopardized your entire career! and for what?”

“for you.”

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Please enjoy as we remember this amazing couple.


Okay, so I have several posts about THIS SCENE, but this part had to have its own set because LOOK. AT. THEM.

Ziva is attempting to be all-business, even though as soon as they get there it’s obvious she’s already been crying, or on the verge of it, from the tears on her face. (Which may be more Cote de Pablo’s real-life emotions at the time than Ziva’s but I’ll take it.) She’s somber and serious and determined to follow through, despite everything that happened. 

Because she’s doing this for him, and while Gibbs might not exactly be the ideal role model, he’s the closest thing to a father she’s had for years, and if there’s anyone whose approval she’d seek, it’s his. Rightly or wrongly, the little girl who dreamed of traveling the world and dancing and having a family still seeks out her father’s reassurance, and in the absence of the one of her birth, she relies on the one of her choosing. 

Anyway, I’m off track.

This is so them because even though both of their hearts are breaking (of their own doing) and they’re trying to pretend that nothing is wrong, Tony falls back to his usual defense mechanism (mockery) and Ziva can’t help but laugh, because at the end of the day, he is still him and she is still her and this is what they do. It’s just so tragic, because they should work, this should work, but it doesn’t and it won’t for all the wrong reasons.

So for such a dark episode, it’s a little bit of levity, and I’m glad that we got at least one brief instance of seeing that wit and repartee one last time, because this is what their relationship was. Yes, there was irritation and confrontation and hurt, but there was also playfulness and affection and laughter, and it’s important that they showed that in the midst of all the tragedy around them.

Or, maybe I just really like seeing them smile. 

Ugh, you can just see in both of them, but especially in Ziva, how much they love each other, and why this is all wrong wrong wrong.

Also: they’re so pretty.


Ziva: We’re doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here. We need to be normal. Can you please just do that for a few hours?!
Tony: Sure. Fine
Ziva: FINE!
Tony: But only because you asked nicely.

I love that even when they’re bickering, they can’t help flirting their asses off, because #married.

Now go make a baby oops too late


“He was in New York. I thought you might like to see him.” 
“Thank you, Tony.” 


 First of all: SHMIEL!!! 

Secondly: Tony, you are a mensch. 

He knows that Ziva is hurting and doing her best to push everyone away, but if he can’t reach her, he’s gonna bring her the one person who can. 

Because right now, this is about Ziva and what is best for her, and that person is Shmiel, who she probably feels the safest with. It’s so touching. 

I mean, that’s not even getting into the fact that Tony is in contact with Shmiel and knew that the Man of Steel (LOVE IT) was in New York at the moment, and arranged for him to travel to DC to be by Ziva’s side, and offered his home (his infamous sanctuary) for their reunion without a second thought. Tony may not like sharing his personal abode with just anyone, but clearly these people aren’t just anyone, especially not right now.

(Shmiel knows, you guys.)

Even ignoring the obvious heart eyes here at the moment, it’s just further proof of what a family they’ve all become collectively, that they’ve got this intimate knowledge of each other’s respective coping mechanisms. 

And then there’s Ziva’s reaction, which is so interesting. She’s still trying her best, initially, to remain cool, like she’s been trained for her whole life not only as a Mossad officer, but as a child who’s experienced a lot of loss due to where she grew up. And while she does kind of push Tony away at first, she does begin to relent a little – qualifying her short stay not as an insult, but because she’s going to go back to Israel ASAP to bury her father.

But then, Tony’s surprise, for lack of a better word, catches her off-guard in the best possible way, and suddenly the only person she can truly relax with in his world is by her side, next to probably the only other person who would come close. 

And that gratitude of hers is so genuine and lovely; she doesn’t have any fight left in her, and all she can do is be thankful that Tony, more than anyone else in her family, looks out for her best interests. Right now, if that means summoning the Man of Steel to his beloved man-cave so that Ziva can process her grief with one of the few people left in her life who’d understand, and who she can unequivocally trust? That’s love, there’s no other way to put it.

I’m sorry, I need to go drown in my feelings because there’s a whole lot of episode left and I’m not prepared.

Do not tell me that they weren't in love. Because did you see Berlin?

look at that cheeky flirting ;)

“One day, you will dance with a man who deserves your love” -Eli David

Look at the love and adoration in her eyes

“If it was not for Orli things would have been different. I would be a different person.”

“Then I should catch her before she leaves. You know, and thank her. “




!!! i am not ok !!!