tiva is perfect

AU | Imagine: She wearing his shirt | Tiva / Mote (whatever you want it to be)

I blame Julia ( @aksannyi​ ).

Spoilers for Season 13 finale. Don’t read if you don’t want to know.

sorry it’s angsty but im just past it now


In the dark of night, he lay awake, as he did most nights now. It was in the dark silence and privacy of his bedroom that he did his grieving; cried, sobbed, ranted, screamed. A storm rumbled on outside, echoing the one crashing around his head. Ziva. Gone. The inner turmoil was all consuming; what if she was alive, trapped somewhere, like Somalia? Why had she placed that picture from Paris in the bag - there were plenty of photos of both of them other than that, yet that was her choice. But a small voice in his head murmured that she would never have left Tali. Wild horses could not have pulled her away from their child, and he knew it.

She’d have said wild asses. Or pigs. Or something equally as ridiculous, yet it would have made sense, to him.

The thought brought the smallest of smiles to his face, and he laughed, wiping at his eyes. She had always managed to bring a smile to his face, always managed to be the light in his dark. Although, admittedly, the dark had been all consuming recently, and he had struggled to find that light, to cling to that hope that he always had; I’ll find her. She was nowhere to be found anymore. He had failed.

The soft pitter patter of tiny feet echoed through the room, and a small face appeared at his bedside, staring up at him; his own eyes reflected back at him in the darkness of the room.

“Abba?”

He propped himself up on a pillow, sighing softly. “You should be asleep, Tali.” The little girl whined softly, staring at him once more, before thrusting her arms towards him, a silent demand for affection, one he could not ignore. Taking her into his arms, he tucked them both back under the covers, the little girl still beaming at him. She reached up, gently stroking his cheek with a hand, smile growing as she did.

“Abba!”

Oh, and his heart. He had been so apprehensive at first, so impossibly scared of the fatherhood thrust upon him, but now? Although he could not say it was easy, it had come far more naturally to him than he had expected. She was his. His and Ziva’s, a perfect little bundle, made in love, and Tony swore he had never loved anyone as much as her. In return, she paid him in the beautiful innocence of a child’s love, and he would never tire of seeing her eyes light up as she saw him once again, never bore of hearing her singing along to the radio, never stop marvelling at how her nose crinkled, and dimples pitted her face, and how she could turn his day around just with her presence. He took her hand, gently pressing a kiss to it, earning a giggle from the toddler, before placing over her heart, tapping it gently. 


“That’s right, baby.”

She giggled once more at the actions, eyes creasing the way his did when he laughed, but her mother’s smile beaming from her face. He would watch her constantly, analysing, and found himself lost in the moments where the likeness to her mother smacked him in the face, taking his breath away, and her smile never failed to be that moment.

He ached for the months he had missed, the time he had been denied with both of them. The questions were endless, and some days he found himself angry, others simply forlorn. Ziva had been pregnant. She’d birthed and raised their child without him. They could’ve been a family. Why had she kept such a secret? Did she not trust him, trust him to step up, trust him to be a father, a partner?

It was the questioning that hurt him the most; he was questioning her, and she was not here to answer him. Not here to explain, and he knew she would have been able to. She had loved him, and he had loved her. She had known him better than anyone, she would have known he would have been there in a heartbeat.

Count to a million, I’m on my way.

The memory of those words made him weep, the hope, joy, excitement of that night almost tangible, and yet again, so cruelly snatched from the palm of their hands.To hell with Orli’s bullshit about her being unsure. He knew his Ziva, he had always known his Ziva, even when everyone had doubted him, and she would never have done this without good reason, without something or someone, stopping her. 

It must have hurt her. Hurt her to have never told him, hurt her to be so far apart. She had deserved to have her family, to be happy. God knows she had been through enough shit for a lifetime, but yet, she was gone. Taken by fucking Trent Kort, in the middle of the night, the cowardly bastard. Someone had once remarked that he should be grateful that Tali had survived, and it had only been his daughter’s presence that had kept his rage in check. Grateful that only his love had been killed, that their daughter was simply motherless instead of dead, that they would never argue over simple household chores, never bicker over who snored, that somehow never getting the chance at being a family made it easier to accept that they never would.

A loud crash outside drew him from his anger, calming as he felt Tali snuggling against his chest, head resting underneath his chin, a soft whimper escaping her. She needed him. He hushed her gently, nuzzling against the top of her head, planting a kiss against her forehead, the familiar scent of her bubble bath and clean pyjamas tickling his nose.

“ You’re okay, sweetheart. Abba’s here, and…”

The words caught in his throat, and he choked on the last of his words,  the familiar prickle of wetness around his eyes returning as he laid eyes on the photo frame by the bed, Ziva’s face smiling back at him from Paris, safe in the many years of memories. Just how long had it been since he had last seen her, held her, kissed her? He felt his face crumble, in pain, hugging Tali tight against him before looking down at the little girl; his girl, their girl. Pushing a wayward curl back, his words were a whisper in her ear as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“ Ima and Abba love you so.”

Utterly Perfect

Ziva’s finger tapped each box on the calendar as she counted back from the day that was currently dawning outside the little house. Her mind raced as she flipped the page to the previous month. She swallowed hard as her finger traced the days that he spent with her, a tear slipped from her eye and flashes of him danced in her memory. She could still feel his gentle caress and his whispers in her ear. His pleas for her to join him back home echoed loudly in the house. Her finger pushed past those days until she reached the day she was looking for and her free hand instinctively went to her stomach. Her eyes widened at the realization, she wasn’t just late, but she was very late.

“I cannot be,” she whispered to herself. “I just cannot be!” How was it possible that it had been forty-four days since her last period?! She had been so regular these days. And how had she missed that she was so late until now?

Keep reading

I know over the years we’ve said how there should be a Tiva movie or a spin off etc but there was always an element of “yes I would love this but chances of happening: zero to nil”. But that was then and this is now. 

Now, I actually think CBS would be crazy to pass up an opportunity to make a tele-movie or 3 -4 part mini-series about Tony and Ziva, basically picking up right where NCIS left off.

Here’s why:

- a story of a former federal agent searching for his lost/presumed dead love, newly discovered daughter in tow (cue touching father/daughter bonding moments, angsty ‘where’s Ima’ sentiments and appropriate ‘how do I parent’ situations) and then reuniting but having to be on the run and find out who is targeting her/them - it’s $$ in the bag. I mean, yes,this kind of story has been done before but also not really, not with this particular dynamic.

- with a brief narrated backstory voice-over at the start, the audience would require no prior knowledge of the characters to be able to buy into the tele-movie/mini-series, it is essentially a stand alone show and this sort of storyline would have massive and broad appeal (drama, suspense, action, romance).

- NCIS is constantly touted as the most watched drama in the world so there would undoubtedly be a a large portion of that audience who would tune in. Either because they always enjoyed the Tony and Ziva dynamic, they want to see a resolution on screen to their story, or they are simply fans of NCIS and therefore curious to see two characters that were created for that show in their own project.

- whether a shipper or not, I don’t think anyone can argue that Tiva took on a life of it’s own within the NCIS setting. It got to a point where it was decided there was no place within this crime-procedural format for any overt or serious concentrated development or exploration of the dynamic and it wasn’t appropriate to shift a focus to one pairing within the setup of the show (before one half left that is). Fair enough. 

But the chemistry between the two characters was unlike anything many have seen on-screen and it was something that many viewers wanted more of, not to mention the complex backstories of both Tony and Ziva and how those drove the characters as individuals and with one another. Again, a couple on-screen with great chemistry isn’t necessarily unique, but this version of it is. And CBS know that. It is also something that viewers would be drawn into in a stand alone tele-movie or mini series. Guaranteed.

So the fact that both actors have now left NCIS is an incredible opportunity for the network to use their popularity and the popularity of the show these characters are the product of, to create an epic tale for our screens. And I, quite frankly, think they’d be bonkers not to.

  • me: it's been over two years i'm fine i've moved on.
  • *finds out there's a .0000000000001% chance of them reuniting when Michael leaves*
  • me: *pulls up 27 slide PowerPoint demonstrating how, when, and why they should reunite, opens playlists with their names on them, and re reads every fanfic where they leave together* haha i'm fine just not getting my hopes up.