I never realized how important coming out was until the day I realized the love of my life would never come out to her family.
She was blue.
I was red.
but society frowned upon the color purple.
She was my first love, my first girl, my first heartbreak, but she was also my first true best friend. With her I learned that a soul can love another soul.
We grew up in similar households.
“This is your box and this is your faith and you must not escape either or you will be shunned”
So we kept a secret, but a love that loud can hardly go unnoticed. There was the day that your parents found out and shunned me from your life.
There was the day that I came out and it only caused chaos.
Two different people, two different lives, tied together by the same faith, bound together by an undying love. Separated by a single choice.
I came out. I left home. I disappointed my family but I found myself. I made the choice. I made the choice to live not in fear. To live not as a slave. I made the choice to break my chains. I made the choice to live free. And years later I came back only to find you in that box. Only to find that your choices only bound to you more chains and you only slid deeper into its comfort.
I had came out. I had made my decision. But you also made yours.
But there was no wrong or right thing to do. There was only choice.
In that moment I realized two things.
1. I fought with everything I had to have the ability to love who I choose to love, just to come home and realize that it all meant nothing if I couldn’t freely love you.
2. There is a love, that people search an entire lifetime for, that will never live out its potential. There is a love that will never
Die, but only exist deep inside of our souls until we cease to exist.
I always thought I could only find this feeling inside of books. The feeling of having an electrifying connection, an unconditional love, someone who felt like home but what happens when I’m not allowed inside? She was my soulmate, and society tore us apart. Fear of chaos tore us apart. Fear of religion tore us apart. But the universe, kept pulling us together. the universe is much bigger, and is not run by belief. Maybe we had a love only the stars understood, because they always found a way to align us back together.
“Maybe in a different lifetime”
Is what you told me..
But I can only hope that here in this lifetime, there is someone who won’t die with these sorrows, there is a couple who will decide to stand against, and that the potential of a love so big can have the opportunity to live and not be encaged it'entire life.
She was blue.
I was red.
Since then I haven’t touched the color purple.