tis but a queue


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week 4: emotions

I’ve been thinking about Clara Oswald lately (as one does) and I think I’ve finally realized why I find her character so personally compelling. It’s because she is both always and never herself.

See, society tells us we have to look a certain way, act a certain way, fall into a certain category, or we won’t be accepted or happy. Then there’s the counter-movement found in a lot of popular media, that tells you to be fearlessly yourself and you’ll achieve all your dreams. But neither of these viewpoints really presents a complete picture of what it is to live, because how many of us really fit into one neat box? How many of us know exactly who we are, and want to act on it all the time?

Clara Oswald shows us that you don’t need to act on yourself to be yourself. Much has been said about her tightly controlled image and how far she is willing to go to be perceived in this or that way. But less is said about how all these images she projects are, in fact, who she is.

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Headcanon that sometime after he loses Clara, the Doctor goes on a rock band tour, and as an encore he always plays a guitar solo that he calls “Clara” (because what better way to attract a young(ish? He can never tell, but the clothes scattered around a room he doesn’t remember look vaguely youthful) woman than with a rock concert?). This encore becomes, improbably, wildly successful, and everyone’s humming it for weeks till it inevitably fades from their memories and they move on to the next song.

Clara is in her late teens at the time, and the song catches her fancy when she’s setting her new ringtone. It’s named after her, she says, only half joking (even then she is certain she is special, set apart for something amazing), and chooses it. Never caught the band’s name, but then she’s never been interested in that sort of thing, she thinks, humming the tune absently.

When the Doctor starts strumming chords in the Tardis, after Skaro, she is startled. He will stare at her, gentle in his intensity, and plink out a chord, then another. (He won’t tell her what he’s doing, and she doesn’t want to push in case he decides to stop playing altogether.) Something about the music always reminds her of late-night conversations with far-off friends in college, and the day she found out she’d been offered the job at Coal Hill, and the moment of breathless dread when she’d called Danny, ready to tell him everything (but that comes far too close to remembering the moment when the phone went dreadfully silent, and her mind skates away). She’s not sure why it sounds so familiar. It’s probably just another of the Doctor’s many anachronisms.

It’s not until she meets the Doctor in a Utah diner that she realizes what the song had been.


└ Shuzo-san’s mental mode: Mt. Fuji => = Arashi (and IMHO = World Heritage status).

Cr: Arashi ni Shiyagare 23.10.2010, 08.11.2011, 25.02.2017

Ties That Bind - Part 1: At First Sight (TEASER)

I am finally ready to start posting this series again. I am still reworking some of the parts that I took down but I am so excited to start writing this series again and this time I am gonna finish it. Part one of Ties That Bind is posting Tuesday 9pm CET aka 3pm EST.


The man turned around, and for a few seconds, you forgot what you were saying and even where you were. He had seemed like a good looking man when you had watched him from a distance, but up close he was almost god like. He stood tall, towering over you on strong, thick bowed legs and with muscles that were evident even through the three layers of clothing he was wearing. His eyes were green. Like, forest green. He had a strong jawline and full lips that almost made you wanna lick them.

His deep growl brought you back to reality. “You shouldn’t be back here lady.”

You shook yourself loose when he tried to grab your arm and lead you back across the street. “I am a social worker. I know one of the boys in there. If you would just listen to me for a second before you send a freaking army in there.”

The man’s eyes opened wide, and you actually thought you saw a glimmer of admiration in them before he spoke again. “I wasn’t really planning too, but if you think you can give me some insight into what I am walking into before I walk into it, I would appreciate it.”

The detective rested his hand on your back and led you back towards a big shining black car. “Talk to me?” He offered as he opened the car door and pulled out a vest.

It took all of your will power not to drool when he started stripping down to his t-shirt in front of you. You took a deep breath and started focusing on Ben rather than the gorgeous man in front of you.

“Ben Braeden lives up at McCloud’s. It is a group home for troubled kids and teens. Many of them have abusive backgrounds,” you started explaining making Dean chuckle.

“I know what it is. So how did… Ben you said?” You nodded, and the detective continued. “How did Ben end up in there?”

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Is this... Do we call it... Love?

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)

Lucy stood next to the door of the guild, watching everyone enjoy themselves. The 100-year quest had not been an easy one. In fact, it had taken them away for quite a few years that they had arrived back to see an older Romeo flirting with Wendy. She had smiled at the two, as they talked, Wendy divulging a lot of what had occurred while on the job. Romeo kept asking questions and laughing at all the stupid things Natsu had done.

Boom! A couple of tables toppled over while an inebriated Erza attempted to break up a fight between Gray and Natsu. Juvia joined the fray as well, but reaching for Gray instead of pushing him away, as the two hadn’t seen each other since Juvia’s last job had crossed paths with theirs. Lucy chuckled at the sight of the entire guild getting in on the action.

“Lu-chan.” Levy walked over to her, attempting to drag Gajeel behind, away from the fight. She stopped to yell at him. “Stop setting a bad example for our children. Who do you think’s turn it is to wake up and take care of them if the need arises?” She turned back towards Lucy and smiled, letting go of Gajeel as he sat somberly watching Natsu punch Gray in the face.

“You finally escaped the Cana, eh?” Levy asked.

“Yeah. Apparently, I had to make up for lost time every night this past week.” She burped slightly. “And I couldn’t get away from her early enough tonight.”

Levy laughed. “Well, it has been quite some time since you guys were last here. Have you finished the quest yet?”

“Not quite,” Lucy admitted. “There are a few loose ends we have to wrap up that have been taking quite some time.”

“Ah. I was hoping you guys would stay for the twins’ birthday next week.”

“Of course I’ll be there!” Lucy held Levy by the shoulders. “How could I miss my god children's birthday?” She turned back towards the ruckus. “We leave tomorrow and should be back in time, otherwise I will definitely be back in time. We just have to take some things to the capital.”

They stood in silence for a little bit watching the end of the fight unfold. Natsu and Gray, aiming to punch each other, had punched Erza’s face. She now chased them both around the hall with Juvia attempting to stop her. Everyone else slowly stopped their brawl to watch as well.

“Have you told him?” Levy asked.

“Told who what?” Lucy said.

“Natsu. Have you told him?”

Lucy blushed. “What? I haven’t… We’re fine just being together without saying anything. We’ll always be together. He said that himself.”

Levy looked at Lucy. “Is saying that really just enough? Are you okay with things as they are or do you want more than just being together?”

Lucy looked thoughtfully at Natsu, with Juvia sprawled next to Gray on his left and a passed out Erza on his right. “Are we ready to call this what it is?”

“Are you?”