probably the worst thing for fake ah crew geoff about opening his place up to the crew is that he realizes how fucking horrible they are at taking care of themselves?? like okay geoff “will drink liquor as a meal” ramsey doesn’t exactly have anyplace to be judging from but like
gavin, how– how many energy drinks have you had. why are your fingers shaking like that. you weigh like six pounds of fucking course four red bulls are gonna make you jittery oh my god
jack how fucking long have you been working. those aren’t your clothes from yesterday, those are your clothes from two days ago, yes i’m sure, that hawaiian print is such an assault on my eyes i wouldn’t forget it
ryan you eat, um, nothing as far as i can tell and you sleep standing up, i think, which is weird, but then michael brings in donuts and you eat six in ten minutes and pass out on my couch, are you. are you okay.
speaking of donuts and all other foods and some non-foods: michael if you don’t stop trying to Eat Everything for a dare i’m gonna have to put stomach pumping services on speed dial
jeremy you have to stop letting gavin convince you to do stupid and/or dangerous things just because he’s filming it, you are going to straight-up die and i don’t really care how many youtube views that’ll net you
lindsay please stop trying to Fight Everything including your own crew, not every situation calls for a knife fight and if a situation does call for a knife fight the knife doesn’t gotta be that goddamn big
mica you can’t just go walking smugly into other gangs’ territories– no i don’t care that you can take them. you don’t go onto your shitty neighbor’s property and piss on their lawn just because you can. you’re gonna start a fight and then lindsay’s gonna get her knife out again.
trevor you leave a trail of coffee cups in your wake and i’m pretty sure they’re just filled with straight espresso. do you– i mean, we could just get you a rolling iv and drip caffeine straight into your veins at this point.
matt if you order forty breadsticks and nothing else for dinner one more time i may have an actual, literal aneurysm, have you ever eaten an actual vegetable in your life
ray i don’t even know where to start with you can you even name a vegetable.
Harry and Ginny are not seen together in formal parties very often because they are always talking to different groups of people. Harry tries not to get attention to himself while Ginny talks to everyone. But once or twice they stumble across each other and exchange a look that clearly says “I’ll give you some attention later… in bed.”
Keith and Shiro decide to go to the beach. During the day, Keith gets a spider-man popsicle (because is nerd af) with temporary tattoos in it. Shiro suggests to use them, he loves his boyfriend so much.
Number 4 please!!! I wanna burn in all these feels
CUTE THINGS BOYFRIEND!TOM DOES
(this was originally supposed to be titled ‘’things he does that make your heart soar but that was a little cheesetown so now we have this!!!)
he’s a forehead nudger. he’s done it since you first started dating. if your squishing together on the couch, he’ll nudge his forehead into your shoulder to get you to adjust so he can fit flush against you. or he’ll just do it when you two are standing close together. its something that’s extremely intimate like a kiss but yet so gentle and loving
when talking to tessa, he will refer to you as “mummy”.
you can remember the first time he did it. you were waiting by the front door as he fastened her leash and cooed to her. “gonna have a nice walk, aren’t we, princess? you, me, and mummy.” you’ve never discussed it, but the look you gave him when he glanced up at you was the only confirmation he needed
sometimes will refer to you in conversations as “the missus”. once or twice it has sparked some engagement rumors and that’s partially why he loves it
every time you watch him pack for another long press junket it away, he will wrap and arm under your legs and across your back before carrying you bridal style into his suitcase. he pretends to pack you, setting some t-shirts and socks on top of you before shutting the lid. “i told you i can’t forget anything!!”
when he gets home after a long day and its quite late, he wakes you up by slathering your face in kisses. there’s no corner of your skin left untouched before he smiles against it and whispers a “missed you”
feel free to fight me but, he’s a big corner mouth kisser. like not all the time, but rather then place a quick peck to your lips, he’s developed a habit of catching the corner of your lips, in a sort of teasing, cheeky way.
(when he first started doing it, he’d say “there’s more where that came from!!!”)
he’s also a big grabby hand baby. if he’s talking to harrison back stage in a green room, he’ll stretch out his hand to you, beckoning you to come play with his fingers or at least just sit by him.
or when he has a break and for some reason you’re still across the room, he’ll stretch his hands out to, fingers flexing and a whine leaving his mouth
tried to cook for you but only has 3 ½ meals memorized and can never be bothered with recipes because the boy cannot follow directions (”i’m not gonna let a piece of paper tell me what to do!!!”)
when you tag along to his events, in between networking or interviewing, he’ll twist around so he can find you and give you a nose scrunch or a playful snarl, just so you know he hasn’t forgotten you’re there
lays on top of you. just spreads across you. doesn’t matter what you’re doing. you will either become his pillow for a quick nap or listen to him beg for your attention.
he’s a show off too. like if he gets a crowd laughing or does a flip for an audience, he’ll find you in the crowd or backstage and give you and eyebrow wiggles as if to say “did you see THAT”
he hits on you like you’re not already together. you’ll be in the cereal aisle, trying to pick one out for the week and he’ll saunter over to you, place and arm against the shelves and wink “do you come here often?”
or “hey you’re really cute, got a boyfriend?” and you reply “yeah and he’s Spider-Man.” he’s always delighted when you play along. “damn, sounds like a really manly guy, you’re really lucky.”
if you say “i love you” back too quietly, he shouts “what was that?!” until you shout it back at him
he would rather sit on the floor with his back against your legs while you sit on the couch. this way he can drape your legs over his shoulders and loop his arms over them or run his hands over your soft skin
will take deep, deep inhales of your shampoo or hair care sent. like sniffs so hard he may pop a brain vessel “i think i’m getting high off of how good you smell!!!!!”
Dramatic title, but this rant has been building for some time and I need to get it off my chest. Friends, fellows, lovely fic writers: kink fic in fandom lately sounds like someone is reciting a How To BDSM 101 manual and it’s really starting to grind my gears.
It seems lately that, more often than not, any fic I open with even the teeniest bit of kink spends about half the fic being excruciatingly boring and samey about making sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to consent and who is spanking who in bed. As an Actual Real Live Kinky Person, let me tell you about some things that are seriously pissing me off.
There in the middle of the hangar, sat Lance surrounded by a hurricane of black that swirled faster with each passing second. His eyes were squeezed shut, not seeing the paladins, yet they all felt like he just knew. It was when he opened his eyes that all hell broke loose.
Lance’s eyes glowed a pale blue amidst the chaos of the black storm surrounding him. He almost seemed to stare at the team unseeingly, his eyes shining unnaturally.
“Lance?” Shiro asked,”…What’s going on?” He didn’t reply, the only movement he made was the slow blink of his eyes. “Buddy, I need you to work with me ok? What is happening?” Shiro tried again, only to be greeted by silence. The team was beyond freaked out at this point, because where the Lance they knew? What was this, this thing in front of them?
“Lance you better knock it off! This isn’t funny man!” Hunk yelled, taking a step forward, “Let us help you!”
Lance cocked his head to the side, his brows furrowing. “Blue is someone here?”
If the team thought they were freaked out before, then damn, they were terrified right now. Lance’s voice was creepy, it was as if someone layered his voice a thousand times, each one seeming farther away than the one before it.
“Can he not hear us?” Pidge whispered, her voice sounding smaller than usual.
“Blue can you please tell Lance that we’re here to help?” Shiro asked, but the Blue Lion was not listening. Her eyes were fixed on Lance and Lance alone, who was now slowly standing up, the storm around him condensing to two black orbs that sat in each of his hands.
“Whoever it is, can you please tell them to leave? I’ve almost got this part down! See,” Lance said, dispersing the two orbs into multiple orbs that circled his head,”I’m finally getting the hang of this thing!” The team stared at the menacing blackness that loomed over Lance, who seemed unaffected by the eerie energy it was giving off.
“That’s it, the show is over,” Keith growled, stomping over to Lance determinedly.
“Keith no! We don’t know what’s going on!” Shiro shouted, reaching out for Keith, only to just miss him. He could only watch as Keith made his way to Lance and grabbed his arm.
The movement above Lance’s head stopped as he turned to face Keith, his eyes still glowing that pale blue.
“Snap out of it Lance! You need to tell us what’s going on!” Keith shouted, gripping Lance’s arm tighter.
“Keith? W-what are you doing here?” Lance stuttered, his eyes going wide and his breath beginning to stiffen. “Blue? Why is he here?” He began to shake, the black orbs above him started to reform into a storm. “Y-you need to let go of me Keith. Y-you n-n-need to let go of me r-right now.”
“Like hell I am!” Keith yelled, “You need to let us help you Lance!”
He didn’t seem to be listening, his eyes gaining that unnatural glow to them once again. The hand touching Lance’s arm began to burn, causing Keith to let go briefly. The effect was already beginning, however, despite Keith letting go. Big fat tears welled up in his eyes and hole seemed to form in his chest, this aching feeling setting root within him.
“Oh god, oh god, oh god, I’m sorry Keith, I-I didn’t mean to give that to you, let me help ok? Let me just-” And just like that, the feeling was gone, contentment taking its place. Keith could only stare at Lance with his mouth open in shock. The glow began to dim from his eyes, returning them back to normal and the darkness practically vanished in moments.
“How the hell did you just do that?!”
“Umm… what do you mean?” Lance asked, playing with his fingers.
“What do I mean? How about the whole, my-emotions-just-went-from-fucking-depressed-to-sunshine-and-rainbows in two seconds??” Keith shouted, causing Lance to shrink into himself even more.
“Um.. well you see-”
“Hold up, wait just a moment. What just happened. Like right now, in this moment, what is going on?? Because there was a huge storm above your head like a minute ago and now its gone??? You had glowing blue eyes and did something to Keith?? What is happenning?????” Hunk interrupted, stepping in between Lance and Keith.
“What the fucK?? Don’t give me that look Shiro, because I just watched some freaky shit happen. How did you even do that? When did you even start doing that? Could you always do that? What even is that? What-” Pidge rambled, gesturing around her as Lance refused to meet any of their eyes.
“All right, how about we all give Lance some space ok? Let’s all go to the lounge and talk about this peacefully, alright?” Shiro intervened, going to place a hand on Lance’s shoulder before hesitating. “We’re going to need you to tell us what’s going on, ok Lance?”
Lance continued to stare at the floor, simply nodding before leaving the hangar.
Lance was in a state a shock at the moment. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was, what idiot lets their biggest secret get discovered that easily? He barely even put up a fight and now here he was, sitting in the lounge, about to explain to the team how much of a screw up he was. He let out a sigh and stared at the empty couches in front of him. Maybe he could just take their anger away so they wouldn’t kick him off the team?
No, that would just prove he’s more pathetic than he already was. For once, Lance wished he couldn’t feel, that all these dark emotions would disappear like he had done for others in the past.
“Lance can you explain to all of us what happened in the hangar?”
“Well umm… I was practicing,” Lance said, twiddling his fingers nervously.
“Practicing?” Allura questioned.
“Yeah I was practicing my…powers. Trying to make them stronger I guess.” He refused to meet anyones’ eyes, choosing to stare at his fingers instead.
“And what are these powers?” Shiro probed, leaning forward a bit,”What are you able to do?”
“I can, I can… control emotions. Not like that! Like I can take away emotions and kinda harvest them I guess? And replace the emotions I took away with different ones,” Lance clenched his fist, forcing himself to explain further to avoid having to look at his teamates, his friends. “I was trying to put them into a physical state, so I could use them in combat and just to get them out of me. I’ve never tested one of the orbs on someone, but I know if you were to touch one you’d feel all the emotion pent up in there.” He created a small one, reaching inside of himself for that energy that was always there, ignoring the slight gasp that came from Allura. Lance shrugged half-heartedly, “It’s something I’ve been able to do since I was fifteen.”
“Have you ever…took some of our emotions?” Hunk asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder.
“I uh…yes. I just, I couldn’t stand knowing you guys were upset and that I could do something about it. Everyday I could feel your emotions and I just felt so, so guilty that I wasn’t doing what I could to help!” Lance spit out bitterly, rubbing a hand through this hair.
“Lance… you shouldn’t have done that. Those were our emotions and you shouldn’t just take them from us without even telling us!” Keith yelled, standing up, “You had no right to make that decision!”
Lance looked up at them all, his eyes beginning to glow once again. “What did you want me to do? J-just sit there and let you feel that pain, watch as it festered and boiled inside of you? How could I do that to a person, to my friends?” Lance clenched his fists, his eyes slowly turning to that pale blue color. “Why can’t you just let me feel useful for once?”
the cicadas are singing / the cicadas are dying in droves. they are droning graveyard hymns so relentlessly i have to wonder: is it their funeral or mine? maybe i am the one being buried here under the summer heat. maybe i should be mourning too.
dear dante, do you wear shoes in chicago? what i mean is: will you still be the same as i remembered? and do i want you to be the same? you can’t answer these questions; i’m just wondering, i guess. just wishing something could be different even though i don’t know what.
dear ari, chicago is too full of shoes; not enough birds / not enough dreams. i miss swimming, and i miss you— can i say this, at least? i almost miss el paso, but the memories of home are starting to blur. everything hazy except you’re always in sharp focus. you can’t answer but i’m also wondering: if i held your hand, could we make it through all these faded june afternoons?
(maybe. i don’t know. i don’t know—)
if we carried hope into a thunderstorm could we finally taste the rain?
“I do believe his mouth
is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars.”
- Richard Siken, Crush.
awake, sweat soaking his skin and mouth dry from dreaming. It took a few
moments for him to regain consciousness: first, he watched the darkness morph
into his dorm, then, he heard Matt’s steady breathing from beneath. His chest
felt constricted, lungs struggling to function like they were supposed to.
came to an aching halt, and his vision doubled, and then his breathing faltered
and heart stammered and surroundings began to blur and he forced himself to
move, mind still on autopilot. Every step was a conscious effort, and he felt
distant, looking at himself from above rather than from within.
sure how but he found himself ascending the stairs, two at a time, and cracked
open the metal door. There, he hesitated in the entry, and his eyes landed on
the man ahead; a silhouette against a dark backdrop. His mind had sorted
through places to go, a safe haven to reside in, and his feet had taken him to
Jason: yes, you love Stephanie, we know, you love Stephanie so much, she’s the light of your life, you love her so much, you just love Stephanie we KNOW, you love Stephanie you fucking love Stephanie okay we know, we get it, YOU LOVE STEPHANIE FUCKING PATRICK. WE GET IT.
UMFB&MHA is coming to an end in a few hours. Before the new chapter completely ruins me, I’d like to give a huge thank you to @kazliin for creating such an amazing work of literature (When people joke that AO3 has some of the best writing in the world, the first thing i think of is UMFB&MHA). kazliin’s work ethic never fails to amaze me, as she pushes 10k+ word chapters on a consistent two week schedule (while being a med student???? holy shit. She doesn’t get enough credit). The level of detail in the fic is just as amazing. I haven’t gotten a chance to read the meta posts yet, but the careful choice of programs, music, and EVERYTHING in the fic is just crazy. kazliin is also so kind and dedicated to interacting with fans of her work (i have no clue how she deals with so many asks and messages). It has been an absolute pleasure to read this fanfic and interact with others in our emotional distress :’). I’d also like to give a more personal thank you to kazliin. I was totally dried of motivation in anyway to keep up my art hobby, but UMFB&MHA never failed to inspire me. When it came to UMFB&MHA, art became fun again for me, and words cannot express how grateful I am for that.
Its really been a wild ride, and I can’t wait for the companion fic!