Baby’s first moleskine! I haven’t drawn charr in so long, I’m rusty, but they get to grace the first pages of this book! I’ve been more active elsewhere, and just plain busy… but moleskine, more-skine!
I feel like my blog is turning into a killing stalking blog lmao, if you don’t like it, please just ignore this post ;;
So my thoughts on chapter 19, I PREDICTED THAT SHIT!! No, for real, I wanted to see Bum go full berserk and I can see why Koogi did it. Bum is a very unstable character but also, very tragic in a way. We know that he was bullied, he had no friends, he was abused (and he still is), he has BPD and so on. Koogi emphasizes the pathos in order for us to sympathize with Bum. We only get his point of view, making the reading quite subjective, and so, we tend to forget that Bum is in fact, not that innocent… (+ Bum is a very unreliable narrator, he’s withholding a lot of informations)
I think this chapter was a turning point for Bum, but also for Sangwoo. We have finally discovered Bum’s dark side. Sangwoo did not expect Bum to react this way and this pannel is indirectly telling this: (SANGSHOOK)
(maybe he thought that Bum would not be able to do it without his help, maybe he expected guilt, remorse and a lot of crying at the end of the murder, but not… this kind of expression, for sure). The fact that Bum’s unleashed his rage just like that, mixing past and present was really interesting. In fact, I think Bum’s past will play a really important role if they decide to kill more people, and Sangwoo won’t hesitate to trigger this little button because HE KNOWS that Bum is driven by his own emotions, he knows his reactions now.
So my predictions for the future chapters are numerous. First, they’ll have sex in order to conclude this night, this “proposal” which Bum accepted, it’ll be a sort of honeymoon I guess?
Then, now that Sangwoo can fully trust Bum (I mean, they’re both murderers now), maybe he’ll teach Bum about certain aspects of “this fun game”, he’ll give him more confidence, I don’t know? I’ve been thinking that, since it is a game for Sangwoo, he’ll probably catch Bum’s uncle, as a sort of reward/gift for his lover. Maybe that’ll be Bum’s second (or third if you count the old guy as his first) murder. I don’t think Bum can kill people from cold-blood because he’s different from Sangwoo, but still, I do think that Ji-Eun’s murder won’t be his last, for sure.
This is a quick analysis and my english is shit right now so i’m sorry haha
“A what?” Atsushi slowly lowered the cup he’d brought
to his lips.
Atsushi-kun! Nicknames!” Dazai said,
happily clapping his hands together and looking at Atsushi with an expectant
gleam in his eyes.
“Ah,” Atsushi put down his coffee and picked up his
pen again. Hopefully Dazai would leave it alone should he pretend to be busy
with this report – which he was – but
Dazai only leaned down further, practically hanging over Atsushi where he sat
by his desk, innocently performing his duties at the Agency.
Well?” Dazai pressed on, his tone of voice could only be described as giddy.
Atsushi’s shoulders lowered as he sighed and looked up
at the other man. “Honestly, Dazai-san,
I don’t really see any need for us to have nicknames for each other.”
Dazai made a sound, sounding vaguely offended, and
dramatically put his hand over his heart.
I’m hurt! A nickname is an important pillar of any relationship!” Here he
grabbed Atsushi’s hands to hold them against his chest instead, Atsushi still
holding his pen in a loose grip. “Especially since I can’t make you stop with
the honorific, these things are super important!”
Atsushi blinked owlishly, for the moment swayed by
Dazai’s – dubiously authentic – performance while being relieved they were
alone at the office at the same time.
Dazai nodded, encouraged by Atsushi considering the
idea he grabbed a chair and sat down, leaning his elbows on the desk while
still holding the other’s hands.
“Yes! We’ve been dating for – ah, three months now-“ Dazai stopped and smiled softly at him,
Atsushi gave a small smile back, “- and I think we need to take this a step
“Yes, nicknames! So, I’ll go first.”
I’m not sure this is necessary-“
Atsushi blinked, then frowned. “What?”
“Darling, honey, cutie pie,” Dazai kept listing names.
Atsushi could feel a headache coming. He dragged his hand over his eyes and
“You’re not making any sense.”
made that offended noise again and Atsushi felt him taking his other hand –
maybe to once again bring it to his chest and proclaim about the foundations of
a functioning relationship. Atsushi peeked through his fingers and watched as
Dazai elegantly held Atsushi’s hand in front of his own lips. He blew warm air
over the skin, and something inside of Atsushi’s stomach fluttered.
Dazai dragged his lower lip over Atsushi’s fingers and
then met his eyes. They seemed deep and warm in the sharp light of the
The butterflies in Atsushi’s stomach turner sharper,
he might’ve made a sound because Dazai’s gentle smile crooked; became smug. He
leaned closer, close enough for Atsushi to catch the faint fragrance of tea and
cologne over the beating of his heart that’d escalated quickly.
“You like that?” Dazai’s voice sounded smooth despite
his smile, his eyes twinkled. “Sweetheart?”
A furious blush stretched against his cheeks, Atsushi
could feel it. The more it grew the bigger the grin on Dazai’s face widened,
and Atsushi felt a strange feeling of losing
– what he didn’t know, only that it frustrated him. He tried for a response but
could only sputter helplessly.
Dazai chuckled and released his hand. “So that’s it,
huh?” He said victoriously.
Atsushi jerked his head up and took hold of Dazai’s hands
in a poor imitation of Dazai’s earlier actions. Heart in his mouth Atsushi said
with a slightly squeaky but serious voice:
Dazai froze. He looked from their intertwined hands up
to Atsushi’s determined face. Unblinking, he opened his mouth, then closed it.
“Well,” Dazai rasped and tried clearing his throat, “that’s
He got up, strange expression on his face, and then
walked towards the exit.
“Dazai? Where are you going?” Kunikida met him in the
door, looking up from his bunt of papers at Dazai’s retreating back.
“Oh, nothing. Just going to question the meaning of
life!” Dazai answered, his laughter stiff.
Kunikida yelled after him. He turned his head and stared hard at Atsushi. “What
Then he stopped and, stupefied, looked down at his
papers, “and why am I even acting