tiny sandwich

A POT introduced me to his family...

 Soooo gather round the campfire, children, I have a terrible tale to tell and I’m sure there’s a moral at the end somewhere.

In two weeks I’m leaving the country. I was going to do a separate life update post but now this happened and the story kind of overshadows the update.

So because I’m cutting all ties to my life here, I’m down to like a couple of POTs that will still talk to me after I kind of fucked them all over. The one that was any kind of steady income was Nice Guy.

I’m calling him that because he legitimately was a NICE fucking guy. I met him off of WYP, as it’s the only site I still use and he was kind of creepy/ugly when I met him and really socially awkward. I could tell why he needed to be on WYP, basically. We went on three dates whilst I was still in the city and then he actually drove to my area (or what he thought was my area bc I never give my real address) to have a date with me here.

I could just hit Nice Guy up and be like ‘can you send me XXX amount please’ and I was careful not to make the amounts too high- he got really upset if he couldn’t pay. One time I asked him for just £200 and he called me up crying actual tears like ‘I just don’t have it right now, but I really like you’. I knew he could actually afford it as he had a great job, but being the big softie I am I felt really bad for him so I told him not to worry about it and that we could go out casually and talk if he needed to. We didn’t have sex, but we had ‘heated’ Skype calls shall we say. He never pestered me for sex, but I had no intention of giving it to him- especially as I was leaving the country so soon and didn’t need his money. (By the way, I never told him I was leaving).

So, I’m in London for the last time til I leave, staying with my friend, I tell him I’m in the area and he’s like: “Do you want to go to the Savoy?” And my Achilles heel consists of five star London hotels and tiny cucumber sandwiches, so I said yes. You can probably already see where this is going.

So, I put a nice dress on, beat my face, mentally prepare myself for a few hours of his company, and head off to the Savoy. I met him at Victoria and we walked down together, just talking and catching up and EVERYTHING SEEMED ALL FINE AND DANDY. THEN!!

We go in, put up our coats, and I say: “Do you want to go up to the bar first?” It was lunchtime and I was ready for my lunchtime Dom Perignon (just kidding, I’m a basic Sauvignon bitch). And he was like: “We already have a table.” Now. When he said ‘we’, children, what I THOUGHT he meant was ‘you and me’ and what in fact he meant, as I learned thirty seconds later, was him and a bunch of people I’d never seen before in my life.

We walked down into the centre of the room and there was a table next to the piano with about six people sitting around it. I was looking around as he was walking towards it because of course, that couldn’t be our table.

He stopped me in front of the table and just said: “This is makeitrainsugar.” (Not giving you my hoe name) and I was like

Originally posted by realitytvgifs


 I was giving him ‘this is not okay’ looks the whole time but he just fucking wouldn’t look at my face. I perched next to this lady who said: “I’m Nice Guy’s stepmother.” I shook her hand, trying to think of ways to leave without making a scene.

 The other two guys around the table were Nice Guy’s brothers and there was one lady who was his sister and the other two women were the wives of the brothers, but they were just like a fucking blur to me as I sat there. I was just sitting there as the tea came, wondering what I had done to deserve this.

 Nice Guy’s brother was like: “So I heard you met on a website.” And Nice Guy was quickly like, “Yeah, yeah, we did.” And I’m just glaring at him like yeah and it was WYP not fucking match dot com this is not part of the deal.

 The WHOLE ENTIRE MEAL they were ragging on Nice Guy like ‘when are you going to get a better job?’, ‘why don’t you move to a nicer apartment?’ and Nice Guy was just nodding and trying to joke and it was just sad like I can see why he’s so self-deprecating all the time. Not that that’s an excuse to ambush me.

 His brother was like ‘your girlfriend’s too pretty for you.’ Then he looked me In The Eye and said “you need a real man.”


 I was just laughing awkwardly the whole time and just regretting all past decisions as they talked about how much of a failure Nice Guy was. 

 And then, AND THEN, when the bill came they said they’d split it between all of us. No. No, I don’t split bills. I’m not out with my friends, I’m on a POT date.

 I looked at Nice Guy like ‘hello?’ but he was just avoiding my eyes so I said: “Sorry, I didn’t bring my purse. Honestly, I thought it would just be me and Nice Guy.” Like hint hint, dumbass.

 And Nice Guy STILL didn’t offer to pay, his brother, the real man one, was like: “I’ll get your end. You can pay me back.” With like the nastiest look on his face, like your girlfriend/wife is sitting literally next to you, asshole.

 I get up whilst the bill is being paid, because I’m at my limit, I went to the bathroom and I text him to tell me when his family is gone so we can talk.

 I wait for like ten minutes and he says they’re gone, I go out and Real Man brother, his wife and Nice Guy’s mother are still there, that lying sack of shit. So I straight up ask Nice Guy if I can talk to him for a minute and he has the audacity to look flustered like he didn’t already know that’s what I wanted.

 We walk up to the foyer and I say: “Is there something you want to explain?” And you know what this goddamn man says to me? He presses against my ear and says: “That was so fucking hot.”

 Like THAT’S what you have to say, you limp dicked fuck stain??? After putting me through this and all you can do is try and fetishize it?

 I said: “How exactly was that hot?” And he says: “I was thinking about fucking you the whole time.”

 I’m just staring at him, thinking that a douchebag ghost has possessed him because this was NOT his personality before.

 I simply said: “We’re done.” I couldn’t scratch his face because CCTV and security.  And I walked out and he didn’t even try to follow me. But he did call me an hour later, apologising, saying that it was his way of saying he loved me. Boy bye.

 Anyway, so I suppose I can add this to the long list of ‘experiences’ that I’ve had. The moral of the story is, no matter how nice a Nice Guy seems, if they’re on fucking WYP or any sugaring site. There is always. Something. Wrong. With. Them. Remember that, ladies.

Some Doomworld/post-Doomworld headcanons because why not honestly: 

  • They end up just chilling in Nate’s basement all the time and Nate’s mom is happy because wow he has friends now. 
    • Malcolm and Darhk have nowhere to go so?? They just end up joining the Legends to try and figure out what to do about Thawne. 
      • “Aw, Nate, you have two new friends, how nice.” 
      • Nate and Damian: “He’s not my friend.” 
      • Malcolm: *already into his 5th sandwich* “These are delicious, Mrs. Heywood. 
  • Axel the Rat is enjoying a life filled with sandwiches and tiny pastries and Mick will randomly make kissy noises at him, which earns him weird looks (except from Ray, who’s happy Mick loves his present). 
  • Doomworld Stein is just really confused about everything. The guy witnessed a murder and a bunh of time travelers fighting; at this point he goes home and when Clarissa asks about his day he shrugs, says, “the usual” and goes immediately to sleep. 
  • Even Janitor Ray knew his true calling: vlogger. He would end up vlogging about his life, the best cleaning methods, hopes and aspirations. Thawne found his vlogs one day and groaned. 
    • He subscribed though. And he liked the videos. 
  • Rip knows how to make the best cakes so now every time someone has a birthday he spends the entire day making a cake specialized for them (and lord help the person who tries to help him because Rip will hole himself up in the kitchen making this cake). 
    • Ray tried to lick the frosting and Rip almost killed him.
      • “Ow! It’s my cake!” “It’s my masterpiece!” 
      • He’s petty and puts in “Happy Birthday Mr. Palmer” instead of Ray and also puts Ray’s real life atom suit on top. 
        • “Aw, is that a little mini m-wait is that my suit?”
    • Nate got a Star Wars theme and Ray cried for him. 
    • Amaya’s has a cute animal theme and she freaking loves it okay.
    • Stein’s is probably like, universe related and has formulas written on the side in frosting and he spends an hour pouring over the formulas and explaining them while everyone else half nods. 
      • Sara tries figuring out if she can just eat some cake without Stein noticing. He does, and pulls the cake away and tells her that he’ll be happy to let her eat after he explains every formula.
    • Gideon even gets her own mini cake; Rip designs the cake for a week before he finally uploads it and the team sings her a happy birthday. 
    • Mick’s is big and has literal donuts in the cake because Mick requested it. Rip is a little horrified but does it anyway. 
      • He also made a pizza cake because Mick said he wanted meat. Mick ended up eating the whole thing and didn’t share with anyone else. 
    • Rip couldn’t figure out what he wanted for Jax’s theme, so he made the cake three tiers and put in a different thing for each tier: the bottom layer was green and looked like a football field (with it’s own football player and football), the next layer had tiny cars and looked almost like a racetrack, and the top layer had sparklers and was fiery red. 
    • Sara’s has knives all over the cake. Literal knives. She almost tears up when she sees it. 

Junior Freelancer Ontario wanted in on the RvB Bingo challenge, so here is her contribution for the Freelancers category.  Delta, not content to just muck with Wash by tricking him into looking silly by eating his food through his helmet, goes a step further and helps himself to Wash’s sandwich.

Tea Party For 9

Pairing: The Men of The Avengers x Steve Rogers Daughter Sarah Rogers

Warning: This is ridiculous and well I think I’m funny sorry if you don’t. Haha

When Sarah wants a tea party, she manages to get her way with Uncle Tony’s help. She doesn’t hear the word no when it comes to her uncles, not a single one is willing to tell her no, even if that means being forced into Dress Up attire and using their manners. As long as it stays between the nine of them only.

@chrisevansthedoritobastard @holahellohialoha  
@almightyunnie @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  
@iwillbeinmynest @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked
@goodnightwife @irepeldirt
@yourtropegirl  @bellejeunefillesansmerci 
@buckyb-avengers  @winterboobaer
@mrhowardstark @rileyloves5
@ria132love  @samanthaneedsanap
@theonlyparadox   @seargantbcky
@the-witching-hours12-3   @callamint 
@cryokinetic-cobain  @agentsinstorybrooke 

“Are you sure about this?” You sigh leaning against the wall as you watch your daughter run from her uncle Clint who was chasing her down for of course stealing one of his French fries, her little legs going as quick as they could.

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I Got 99 Problems and You’re Number One

… Yes, this is what you’re thinking. Me being super late to start @starcoweek3 


So.. yeah, I’m a bit ashamed it took me this long to finish, like, we are almost over it…

Also, guys I didn’t give up JanTom Week, all the fics have half done but I had a major block with Jantom (probably due to EA just wanted me on the climax chapters and I’m still finishing it) I plan to finish before next jantom week lol

Also,, huge thanks to @mrevaunit42 and @axis2600 for helping to post this anyway, you guys are awesome! *hugs*

Also a special mention to @fullertoons for creating this amazing au! 

I hope you enjoy :D

PS: lots of people identified this as the Starco song because of EA, and I ended up using to write in this too along with this one.

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

I 99 Problems and You’re Number One

Marco sat in the waiting room annoyed. He and Star went to Mewni to come kind of ceremony that she was obligated to comply and for whatever reason, he got into it too. The princess had asked him if he could wait for her to get ready to give an opinion to her dress and how he was supposed to say no when she looked at him with those blue eyes full of hope?!

He had a major problem, not only because he was completely hopeless for those blue eyes sparkling hope, or the cutest heart marks she had, or how she was enchanting on every single way, or how Star walked like floating like she was a ballerina… No, all that was consequences of his number one problem.

The fact he was falling for the princess.

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Remember This Moment (With Me) - Klance

Happy birthday to my dear Bobbie. You’re such a wonderful person, and through you I’ve met some of the most amazing people. I’ve felt a level of acceptance with you and the rest that I’ve never felt before, and I’m endlessly grateful for you and the whole group that you brought together. Here’s some almost-late soft Klance for your birthday. You’re my favourite non-binary Cuban babe <3


(you gotta listen to this while you read it)

Keith had been planning this for weeks. Lance had mentioned his high school prom once almost six weeks ago, and Keith had tilted his head to the side, blinking owlishly at him. He knew what a prom was, of course. He lived in the desert, not a cave in the mountains. He’d opted out of his high school prom. His girlfriend had just broken up with him to go to the dance with some other guy, likely one her parents would adore. He didn’t remember being terribly heartbroken about not going to the dance. 

But apparently Lance had not gone to his, though not through any choice of his own. He’d received a concussion while boxing and had been unable to attend, and he was apparently still bitter about it, if his whining was anything to go by. He mostly whined to Keith, since they were… sort of, almost dating. Maybe. Semantics, Keith thought. Lance knew that Keith only had eyes for him; he’d made it abundantly clear. Touched his hand at dinner that one night. Laughed at his joke about pineapples and baby aspirin (and it honestly had been funny, which was kind of the sad part). Put his head against Lance’s shoulder and actually dozed off just like that. 

And yet Lance still hadn’t started with the grand theatrics he always howled about doing for anyone he was interested in back on Earth.

Keith looked up at the transformed training room, his fists planted on his hips.

“Try ignoring this, buddy,” Keith muttered to no one in particular. Hunk had helped him add solid, yet temporary, beams that went from wall to wall, intersecting at different points, leaving large gaps between them and sort of resembling perches in a bird cage. Hunk, coming through for Keith once again like the genius he truly is, rigged up string lights that they twined around the beams. He mixed up some Space Punch and tiny Space Sandwiches with tinier toothpicks in them. He smoothed Keith’s hair back and pulled it into a neat little ponytail, much more refined than the sloppy one Keith usually wore when he was training. Honestly, if Keith wasn’t already completely gone for Lance, he’d be trailing after Hunk like a lovestruck puppy. But all of this was for Lance. 

There were no tuxedos in space, so Keith just made sure that his clothes were clean and neat. As clean and neat as three year old clothes that he wore every day could be, at least. Pidge had managed to keep Lance occupied all day with a video game, and was supposed to be sending him past the training room when she was done with him, where he would hear the sweet lyrics of ‘Can’t Fight the Moonlight’ filtering out from the open doors. Keith paced back and forth, nervous and gnawing on his lip. Hunk had assured him that Lance would love this, even more so since it was coming from him

“Does that mean -” Keith began, blinking at Hunk.

“He does, he just doesn’t know he’s allowed to yet,” Hunk told him. That had been yesterday, and his words kept replaying in Keith’s head, over and over as he tried to work out how the fuck he’d manage to confess to Lance that he was in love with him and then somehow dance with him all night. Or maybe he’d dance all night and then confess? Would Lance even let him get that far, or would he try to get an explanation out of him before any dancing even happened? Keith really wanted to tug on his hair, but Hunk hurried into the room just then and swatted his hands away, looking excited. 

“He just left Pidge’s room, he’s coming this way. Don’t mess up your hair now,” he chastised gently, smoothing a piece back. Keith looked up at him.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked in a small voice. Hunk chuckled at him.

“It’s a bit late for that, dude. It was your idea anyway, remember? But I am sure about it. I know Lance; he’s going to love it,” he assured. He gave Keith’s shoulder a squeeze and then hurried right back out and scuttled down the hallway. Keith waved his hand and pulled up a small holoscreen - he dimmed the lights and turned on the string lights that decorated the beams and ran along the floor in a large square, creating the illusion of a dance floor. Soft yellow-white light filled the room, and he pressed another button on the screen and the music started playing. Both Pidge and Hunk had confirmed Lance’s pure, unadulterated love for Coyote Ugly, so he decided to start with that. 

Keith turned his back on the door, looking up at the beams and the twinkling lights wrapped around them, at the little table where the sandwiches and drinks were set up at. The longer he stared at it all, the more deflated he became. This was pathetic. A mockery of prom, really. He knew what prom was supposed to be like - bright, multicoloured lights, a live DJ, a few hundred sweaty, horny teenagers grinding on each other, limousines, smuggled booze, ripped condom packages on the bathroom floor. Photos and smiles for the yearbook. What was he even thinking? He didn’t even have a cell phone that he could take a picture with Lance on. He didn’t have a corsage! Lance would want a corsage! The flowers would look so good on his slender wrist and he didn’t even think to make one out of origami paper. 

This was going to fail. Lance was going to laugh at him, and he’d just be consumed with heartbreaking, unrequited love for the rest of his days. They wouldn’t be able to form Voltron, and they’d kick Keith out for sure, exiling him to be with his own people (who hated him because he was a paladin, and they’d kill him on the spot). 

“Keith? What’s all this?”

Keith whipped around, so fast he nearly over-rotated to spin in a complete circle. Lance was standing just outside of the square the lights on the floor formed. His eyes were wide, eyebrows nearly vanishing into his hairline as he gazed around the room, tilting his head back to look at the criss-crossing beams. He dragged his eyes back down to the small table of refreshments, and then finally settled on a fidgeting Keith. 

“What is this?” Lance asked again, his voice curious and soft. 

Keith took in the quiet confusion in his voice and on his face, absorbed the open wonder Lance had as he looked at all the work Keith and Hunk had put into this one night. That was all it took for Keith to unclench his fists and sigh.

“You… mentioned that you missed your prom because of a concussion. I didn’t go to mine by choice, ‘cause I’d just been dumped, but Shiro and Hunk and Pidge told me about what their proms were like and how much fun they had at them, and I just thought that maybe you’d like to experience prom? With me? Since neither of us went to ours,” he rambled. Lance blinked at him, his face carefully blank.

“I - what? This is prom?” he asked a little breathlessly. Keith flushed, looking away.

“I mean, sort of? It’s a little tacky, I didn’t have a lot to work with here -”

“Tacky? Are you kidding me? This is space prom, Keith, it’s already better than anything I could have gone to in high school!” Lance burst out excitedly. He jumped lightly over the lights, skidding up to Keith and grabbing at his hands. Keith felt heat flooding his cheeks, but he gripped Lance’s hands back just as tightly. 

“So you’ll go to space prom with me?” he asked boldly. Lance grinned at him, flashing those beautiful white teeth, his eyes crinkling up boyishly. 

“Yes!” Keith smiled back, and then dropped Lance’s hands. He waved one of his hands and brought up the holoscreen again, gesturing to Lance.

“Then pick a song, one you can dance to,” he said. With an excited little bounce, Lance navigated through the list of songs on the holoscreen and finally picked one with a happy gasp. 

“Where did you get these? I haven’t heard these since we left Earth!” he said happily. 

“Pidge is magic, I think,” Keith said with a chuckle. An upbeat rap song began playing, something about boys and cooling systems. Lance spun around, a smirk on his handsome face, and he grabbed Keith’s hand. 

“You know how to dance?” Keith let Lance guide him to the center of the room, grinning.

“Absolutely not,” he said. Lance barked out a laugh, tossing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut in mirth, and Keith was sure that his pupils actually turned into little hearts. Lance turned around to face him again, dropping a hand to his shoulder and letting the other trail down his own body. 

“Then just do whatever you feel like doing,” he said. 

I want to shove you against a wall and kiss you for the next two years, if that’s okay, Keith thought, his eyes ziplining down to Lance’s hips as they began to move. His mouth dried up and his eyes widened as Lance’s body began to twist and snap in time to the music. His feet brushed across the floor, carrying him away from and then closer to Keith, dropping down and bouncing back up effortlessly, like he’d just been out at a nightclub the night before, instead of at peace talks with a new planet. Keith tried to mimic a few of Lance’s simpler dance moves, emboldened by the way Lance whistled at him. 

Dark hands fell upon his waist, pulling them close together, and Lance began to grind on him, his body sinuous like a snake and moving like this was his job, instead of piloting a giant alien machine of war. Unsurprisingly, Lance was good at this, too. He seemed, to Keith, to be good at just about everything. 

They danced through seven more songs before Lance stopped, threw his head back and laughed, sweaty and shining in the soft light. “This is amazing, Keith!” he exclaimed, holding onto Keith’s hand. Keith felt his chest swell.

“I’m - good. That’s good. I was worried that…” he trailed off. Lance furrowed his brow.

“Worried that it wouldn’t be good enough?” Keith nodded. Lance squeezed Keith’s hand, then threaded their fingers together. “Keith, I.. No one’s ever done anything like this for me. This is perfect.” 

They stood close - close enough that Keith could have rocked forward on his toes and kissed him. He was tempted, so tempted. It would have been a good moment for it, so easy. But it wasn’t the perfect moment, and Keith would be damned if the rest of this didn’t go as perfectly as he’d planned. 

“This hasn’t even been the best part,” Keith drawled teasingly. Lance raised an eyebrow in question, his lips quirking up in a smile. “Close your eyes.” Lance pursed his lips in a little pout, but acquiesced. Keith pulled up the holoscreen once more and dimmed the lights a little more. “Now, when I say jump, I want you to jump up, okay?” 

“Weird, but okay,” Lance agreed. Keith poised his finger over a button on the screen.

“One - two - jump,” he instructed. Just as Lance’s feet left the ground, Keith pushed the button that turned off the gravity in the training room. Lance’s blue eyes flew open when his feet didn’t touch back down; he looked down at where he was hovering, and then back to Keith with a grin. Keith quickly put a song on play and grabbed Lance’s hands again, then pushed off hard from the floor, sending them up into the air. Laughter bubbled up out of Lance and Keith smiled at him as they sailed through the air, the music beginning to play around them. 

“Dance with me,” Keith murmured, drawing Lance closer to him as they approached one of the light-covered beams. Lance blinked at him once in surprise, and then his face spread into a smile so wide Keith swore it could crack a star right in two. 

“Charmer,” he whispered. Keith pulled him close, and as they neared a beam, he pushed against it with his foot, sending them coasting away through the air again. “Slow dancing with me in zero g’s? You’re smooth, Red.” Keith smiled, tucking his chin onto Lance’s shoulder, because that’s where he fit after Lance’s (hopefully final) growth spurt last year. 

“One look at you, my whole life falls in line,” Keith murmured quietly, speaking the lyrics of the song that Pidge had frantically told him was “so obviously the only song for you two”. He couldn’t sing, wouldn’t want to try to because that would definitely drive Lance away, but he could at least sort-of hum decently. Lance tensed up in his arms, but relaxed by the time the violin began to play. He heard him gasp, felt a hand leave his waist - if Keith had to guess, he’d probably figure that Lance was very dramatically covering his mouth. Keith smiled, because it was such a Lance thing to do, and he loved it. 

“Whatever may come, your heart I will choose,” he hummed. “Forever I’m yours, forever I do.” 

Lance’s arms suddenly tightened around his waist, and Keith’s breath hitched in his throat, choking a little on the last note he’d sung so quietly. They brushed against another beam, and Keith gently kicked them away from it; their bodies spiraled a little as they moved away from it. Lance bent his head down and Keith could feel his breath leaving between his teeth against his hair.

“Are you -”

“Shut up, Lance,” Keith huffed, a smile spreading across his face. Lance chuckled, and Keith felt his hand leave his waist and tug at his own elbow. Lance maneuvered them until he had Keith’s hand in his, and he laced their fingers together. 

“Okay, okay. Serenade me, Red,” he whispered. He squeezed Keith’s hand, rubbed his thumb over the smooth skin not covered by his gloves. Reassured by Lance’s reaction, he tightened his grip around the blue paladin’s waist again, and was further encouraged by the feel of Lance wiggling against him to get closer. 

“The way you love, it changes who I am,” Keith murmured. 

“This is really happening,” Lance whispered. Keith could hear the smile in Lance’s voice, and if he hadn’t already been flying, he felt like this could have given him wings. “Oh my god, Keith-”

“I can’t believe it’s true. I get to love you, it’s the best thing that I’ll ever do,” Keith hummed. Lance sort of spasmed against Keith then, gripping his hand almost too tightly.

“Screw the song,” he muttered in a rush. Lance pulled back just enough to put half a breath between them, only to lean in and press his lips to Keith’s. There was a fleeting thought of but the song is kinda nice before Keith allowed his eyelids to flutter shut and kissed Lance back. 

Lance’s lips were wildly soft, and honestly, Keith expected that. He didn’t expect Lance to be quite so good at kissing, though - he kind of thought that maybe all of that bravado would be just an act, or a front to hide his inexperience. Nope, no, he was being proved very wrong as Lance’s lips slanted against his at the most spectacular angle, smirking just enough to draw Keith’s lips into a soft pucker. The hand that held his released it and moved up to cradle the side of his face, and Keith clutched at Lance’s waist, fingers flexing into his shirt. 

Keith couldn’t help the happy groan that escaped his throat, and Lance responded favourably, chuckling softly into the kiss and licking plaintively at his lips. Keith opened under him immediately, sighing gently and wrapping his tongue around Lance’s. Despite the heat that pooled in his belly, the kiss was still so innocent to Keith. He could live and die in that moment and be perfectly okay with it all. 

When Lance pulled back, his eyes were bright and narrowed in a wide grin, his cheeks were flushed, and Keith thought there wasn’t a more beautiful sight in any galaxy he’d ever been to. 

“Is this your way of asking me to go steady?” Lance asked, crooked grin falling into place. Keith’s fingers twitched against his waist.

“Yes,” he said, straightforward and blunt as he’s ever been. “You’re allowed to want this, you know.” Surprise coloured Lance’s face, and he grinned wide and bright before tossing his head back and laughing, low and almost humming. 

“Okay, hot shot. You got me,” he murmured. Keith smirked and dragged Lance by his face back against his lips. Lance kissed him enthusiastically, all but giggling into the kiss, and Keith was definitely on cloud nine, if the clenching, fluttering feeling in his chest was anything to go by. “How’re we gonna get down?” Lance muttered into the kiss. Keith shrugged.

“Don’t know,” he mumbled. “Kiss me again and maybe it’ll come to me.” With another bark of laughter, Lance rocked back in mid-air, pulling Keith with him. They were nearly horizontal now, and Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders and kissed him for all he was worth. The song that Keith had been singing was on repeat, though neither was paying much attention at this point. Keith didn’t think he’d ever be able to focus on anything again except Lance’s lips and the way they moved against his own. Even when Lance pushed away from him, cackling and kicking off of a beam and sailing across the room, Keith couldn’t stop from staring at the stretch of his lips over his straight white teeth. Their game of zero-gravity tag was interrupted no less than six times by Keith latching onto Lance and kissing him breathless. 

Almost an hour later, when they finally touched down on the floor and turned the gravity back on, Lance launched himself at Keith, wrapping long arms and legs around Keith, forcing the red paladin to support him with a very firm grip on his ass. Lance buried his fingers into Keith’s hair and kissed him feverishly, like they hadn’t spent the last forty-five minutes making out. 

“I’m glad I didn’t go to my Earth prom,” he said breathlessly. Keith blinked up at him. “I’m glad this is my only prom experience.” He leaned in and touched their foreheads together, and Keith watched his eyes close, watched a slow, easy smile overtake his handsome face. 

“Lance,” Keith said softly. Blue eyes opened, penetrated Keith right to the very core of his being. He was sure that Lance was staring straight into his soul, and he hoped Lance could see every overwhelming, desperate, helpless, lovestruck thing he was feeling. 

From the way Lance’s breath hitched, Keith figured that Lance was seeing the same future he did. 

the whole idea of dancing in zero-g came from @jamthedingus and then @lancesexual came and punted my face into the sun with that FUCKING SONG so thanks u gay fucks.

A Lovely Situation ( Chapter 4 )

Lin x Reader

Summary: So this is the beginning of a little Lin x Reader that no one requested. (Y/N) is seriously crushing on Daveed, and when she finally tells him, he rejects her. Lin ends up comforting (Y/N) and getting a bit closer to her. Daveed ends up fighting for her and she gets confused with her feelings and wonders if she had liked Lin all along….

Warnings: none? I don’t think

Word count: 1,551

a/n: Ahshsshahsjd I gained so many followers from this fic and I actually now have 100 followers, and some of them are actually my favourite tumblr accounts, which actually made me cry of happiness. I’m so grateful and I love you guys so much for actually reading my fics. Enjoy this fluffy chapter. (I also keep forgetting that (Y/N) does live with Jazzy so she finalllyy has a brief encounter with Lin and (Y/N).)


The next few days was pure gold. Lin would always visit you when he had the time and he would also take you to his favourite places in New York. Although you and Lin had kissed a couple of times, he didn’t ask you out. Which confused you and resulted in you asking yourself everyday ‘Are we dating?’ Even though you were desperate to know, you wouldn’t bring up the subject because you thought it would make things awkward. Lin didn’t bring up the topic of conversation because he was still wondering if you had any lingering feelings for Daveed. Even with what had happened.

You glanced at the digital clock on your nightstand and it read 21:29. This evening you were going out with Lin once again as he wasn’t performing that day. You loved going out with him. He made you happy, secure and safe. Being with Lin felt like being on cloud 9, but only a million times better. You had wondered why he spent all his free time taking you to adventurous places and not writing another musical or something.

Your hand twisted the handles of your closet as your eyes turned beady. Why is it that I always buy clothes but always have nothing to wear, you thought to yourself. You ended up picking a beige jumper and a denim skirt to wear. Hoping he wasn’t going to take you somewhere fancy. Slowly, you walked over to your vanity and applied a bit of makeup before hearing a gentle rhythm of knocking on your bedroom door. Instantly you knew that it was Lin, Jazzy must have let him in.

You opened the door so quickly that it almost hit you in the face, not like you minded, nothing could ruin another fantastic day with Lin.

“Hey,” you whispered as you tucked your hair behind your ear.

He had a massive smile on his face.

“Hi beautiful.” God that smile of his, it was brighter than stars and could light up the entire world.

“Lin stopp!” Giggling as your cheeks went red.

“What? I’m not allowed to call the most beautiful girl in the world beautiful?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“You are allowed. When you meet her.” You replied, cocking your eyebrow.

“I already have, she’s right in front of me.”

You looked up to his big brown eyes full of warmth and care and smiled, cheeks glowing into a brighter red.

“Should we go?” You squealed in excitement.

Lin chuckled lightly at your 'amazing’ ability to keep your chill and laced his fingers into yours.

You walked out of your bedroom and into the living room, finding Jazzy on the sofa squirting almost a whole can of whipped cream in her mouth as she watched the TV.

“Did Anthony break up with you? Why are you doing that. You’re on a diet.” You questioned.

“It’s my cheat day!” She replied, her mouth still full.

“Bahahaha!” Lin bursted out in laughter. “H-how can I tell that you say that all of the ti- hahaha.” He said, struggling to contain himself.

“Because she does say that all the time.”

“HEY!” Jazzy shouted.

You raised your eyebrows and glared at her.

“Okay, maybe that is true.” She admitted. “Less about me and more about you guysss! Where are you heading out to?”

“It’s a surprise.” “God knows.”

You both said at the same time. You noticed that he was still clutching onto your hand so you squeezed it. Signalling that it was time to leave.

“Well, (Y/N) and I are going to head out now, have fun doing whatever this is!”

“You too!”

As you walked out the front door, you noticed Lin’s hand slipping away from yours as he then put his arm around your waist, pulling you in closer to him. You smiled at him and blushed at the action.

“So. Where are we going today Mr Miranda?” You rested your head on his shoulder as you continued to walk.

“My favourite spot, to do my favourite thing, with my favourite girl.”

“That’s great! I know exactly where we’re going!” You laughed.

“Ha Ha Ha. How funny (Y/N).”

“I know” you said smugly.


After 15 minutes of walking you had finally arrived at the mysterious place, and Lin had told you to put your hands over your eyes and close them because it was a 'surprise.’

“Can I see yet?” You asked, slowly trying to move your hands.

“No you can no- Hey! No peaking Miss (Y/N)” He rushed over to you, putting his own hands over your eyes. Lin slowly walked you forwards, before putting both hands in his pockets, revealing you to the surprise.

Your eyes widened and you covered your mouth with your hands in disbelief. The rooftop of the Richard Rodgers looked like a picture out of a fairytale. Fairy lights were hung, a dozen vanilla scented candles were lit, flowers scattered around everywhere and lastly. A large red and white checkered picnic blanket with a picnic basket placed on top.

You spun around to look at him, still in shock.

“I thought we’d have a little picnic and try to see if we can find any stars as gorgeous as you.” He said, sheepishly.

You threw his arms around him, immersing him into a tight hug as tears of happiness rolled down your face.

“N-Nobody has ever done this for me.” You finally replied, still embracing him.

“D-do you like it?”

“I love it Lin.”

You gripped onto each other tighter. Never wanting to let go.

“Do you want to start eating?” He asked, eventually loosening his grip and letting go of you.

You nodded eagerly. No one had ever go to this much effort for you. Ever. You thought Lin was so sweet and honestly one of the best people you have ever met. You loved how he always made you feel like you were the only person that mattered.

Both of you sat down as Lin started to unload the basket. There were tiny sandwiches, muffins, cheese and wine. You wondered if Lin had actually made the sandwiches and muffins himself. Probably not you thought again. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he did all of this. For you.

“Lin. What are we?” You questioned as you took a bite out of one of the muffins.

“Humans?” He foolishly replied as he poured a some of the red wine into the wine glasses.

You put down your muffin and looked at the fairy lights. Refusing to look at him. “No, I meant. Are we dating? Are we friends? Are we best friends? What are we?” You asked once more.

Lin took hold of your hands, which made you face him and look him in the eye. “I’m not sure about you. But.” He took in a deep breath. “But I’m a guy who has fallen helplessly in love with his best friend. He knows that she probably doesn’t love him back because he is a nobody. A guy who feels like Eliza, falling helplessly in love with Hamilton.” He looked away. Knowing that you would reject him, like Daveed did to you.

Your hands squeezed his and slightly pulled him which gained his attention as he looked back at you. “I love you more than Jazzy loves whipped cream.”

Lin pulled you in close, hands leaving yours and placed on your cheeks and in only a matter of time his lips met yours once again. This kiss was full of love, full of passion, you melted into the kiss faster than ice in the hot air. His lips tasted like the sweet blueberry muffin he was eating. His lips felt like home.

He gently took his lips off you. “Date me?”

“Of course,” you breathed.

You and Lin gave each other a wide grin before his lips were attached to yours again. Kissing you even more passionately. Your lipstick was staining his lips pink. You broke the kiss as you lay down, taking his hand in yours, fingers entwining. Lin lied down next to you and started staring at you but you were completely unaware of this as you were gazing at the few stars that you could see.

After a little while you moved your head to face him and noticed that he had been looking at you this entire time.

“Why aren’t you looking at the stars? You can never see them in New York! Take advantage of it. They’re beautiful.” You whispered.

“I don’t need those stars. I’ve got you.”

You giggled as he leaned in and pecked a kiss on your nose.

Lin took out his phone and snapped a picture of you smiling at the stars and posted it on Twitter.


I’m with this beauty tonight. Star gazing makes her really happy. She makes me really happy.

It was an amazing night. You couldn’t be any more happy, you felt so blessed that Lin was in your life and was staying there for as long as possible. Nothing could ruin your mood.

Little did you know, Daveed was standing there for a while. Glaring at you and Lin have a blissful time together. Tears welled up in his eyes as he dumped the bouquet of flowers in the bin.


Miserable Lester, Part zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Heeeeeyyyyy, Lia!

Lia! You goddamn millennial slouch! Stop dicking around on your phone and listen up! You’re supposed to be recapping the next chapter of Les Mis!

Aw, Lia, that’s a bunch of boring historico-political junk. You know I’m not interested in that stuff. I thought I’d just jokingly Not Really Recap It At All the way I did with the Waterloo section!

You know, it might be more interesting to you if you bothered reading a couple of Wikipedia articles to give you an actual context. And I suspect having a rudimentary understanding of the political crap involved is going to help you appreciate the next part of the story more. It’s not just prison, personal tragedies, and guiltllucinations anymore, babe! They have like an entire fucking failed revolution or whatever.

Screw you!

Dude, I’m saving you time and effort! It’s a hell of a lot easier to explain something in a funny way when you know at least a little bit about it.

…So you think I should, what, just…read, then Wikipedia this shit until I think I have a handle on what I just read and my eyes aren’t skating over half the text like it’s a roller rink, then try and give a quick rundown?

Pretty much.

Can I at least do it section by section? In small, manageable chunks, you know. Like, one post per Roman Numeral Entry Of VHugz Political Bloviating?

Sure. It’s your blog.



Great! Let’s get to it, shall we?

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4.8lbs lost in 1 week.

i’ve been seeing people ask how i lost 4.8 pounds this past week, so here is what i did.
i restrict my calories to 500 a day but sometimes i eat less than that. (500 is my limit) i start out my day at around 10:30-11:00am by eating 5 apple slices OR 5 grapes. the apple slices are 30 calories and the 5 grapes is 15 calories. i don’t eat at all through out the day until 6:00-7:00pm but i NEVER eat after 8:00pm and before 8:00am. for dinner this past week, i had a veggie burger, eggs, a small bowl of penne pasta, a tiny grilled cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread, and mixed vegetables. i have cut out meat and all junk food which means i don’t eat fast food, cookies, cake, ice cream, donuts, chocolate etc. i refuse to eat snacks like chips and pretzels. also, i don’t drink anything but water. TIP: DO NOT DRINK YOUR CALORIES. DRINK WATER. IT WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND WHILE LOSING WEIGHT. i ALWAYS have water with me. i have had the absolute worst cravings for fast food, and anything sugary but i simply tell myself no. i fight my cravings because i know that if i give in, i will gain weight and i can’t let that happen. it’s been hard but it’s worth it. please remember to stay safe💕

Two Is Better Than One

Originally posted by cartoons-asfuk

Originally posted by jasontoddlonelysoul

Pairing: Jason Todd x Roy Harper x Reader

GIF Warning: ^^

Warnings: This is just sin. Hella fucking sin. SO SINNFUL! It’s a threesome so you know, dirtiest of talking and…other sins…smut…yeah…this is hella kinky…don’t judge…

Rating: Explicit

A/N: me and @dcimaginesforever are sinning so hard.

“You know you have a pretty neck,” whispered Roy in your ear. He lightly kissed your neck, his hand going up your dress and rubbing your clit. You felt a blush rush up your cheeks as you sighed deeply. Roy pulled your underwear over and slowly ran a finger between your lips. “I would like nothing more than to rip off your clothes and fuck you right here.” You moaned as you sipped your drink. Thank god there was a bar in front of you guys, otherwise he really would try and fuck you. Jason sat back down next to you, his glass of whiskey in his hand. He downed it all and tapped his glass down on the bar but the bartender didn’t move. Not that you blamed him, the music was blaring and the lights were flashing. You turned to say something to Jason but Roy stuck one finger into you, making you moan loudly. Jason heard and turned to look at you, his eyes full of lust. His blue eyes flashed down to your legs where Roy’s finger was slowly pumping in and out of you. Jason’s lips quirked up in a smirk and he leaned over.

“You look nice y/n, you look so flustered. I bet you feel nice.” Roy leaned around, a big smirk on his face.

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anonymous asked:

Diane, Elaine and Elizabeth having a sleepover? What would they do and talk about?

bless you anon for this request ily

  • Let’s be honest, it was Elizabeth’s idea. She would have little ‘sleepovers’ with her sisters when she was younger, and one day she brought it up. Diane & Elaine probably have never heard of them, and if they have, neither of them have had one. Hearing this Elizabeth became determined to throw the best slumber party ever
  • She asks Ban to make little cute snacks (tiny sandwiches & cakes, etc.) for the party. To impress his lady love he pours his heart and soul into them
  • Elizabeth & King would probably go out shopping for cute PJs & hair accessories for the girls as a little gift present
  • (he has the best sense of style & ability to select flattering colors out of everyone fight me)
  • Lil Sweetie here would transform her room into a giant fort. She’d spread out blankets on the floor and tack some onto the wall, hang up little lights on the wall, and place pillows all over the ground
  • Diane & Elaine would walk in and be like ‘woah’ as Elizabeth sat all cute on a pillow
  • They’d all do each others nails and makeup, super lovely
  • ^ When doing so they’d be eating their snacks and Diane’s like, ‘so ur boyfriend can cook Elaine lol’ & then Elaine would get all blushy and be like ‘diane stop’ & that would lead into a conversation about boys
  • Then they’d some how get into embarrassing stories, then sad ones
  • In order to lighten the mood Diane would start talking shit about the guys
  • Little did they know all the guys made a tower, letting Meliodas peek in. Each one took turns, besides King bc ‘it’s rude to disturb their time’ 
  • Til Ban is like ‘look Diane is in lingerie’ 
  • He floats tf up and accidentally makes too much noise
  • All the girls scream and Diane takes a pillow and fucking yeets it through the window
  • King knocks the perv tower down, and the girls run to the window and pour out drinks on them. They also chuck a few pillows for good measure
  • The girls are all giggly now and return to their party
  • Little do they know, the guys want revenge so they collect themselves and grab the pillows that were thrown down. 
  • The guys run upstairs and break the door down to reveal an empty room. They’re stunned and like ‘where they go’ & then the girls fucking ambush them with more pillows
  • It’s not like a cute little pillow fight, no this is war
  • Diane goes ham and throws Ban through a wall
  • The girls win, bc King is too nice and doesn’t want to hurt his sister, crush, and the princess
  • Eventually they all just collapse and fall asleep
  • It’s easy to say that was the best sleepover Elizabeth has ever thrown

for @rufflesstuff

quick drabble with the prompt “Trini and Kimberly playing keep away with all manner of objects in increasingly creative and acrobatic ways, like fighting for the last chocolate cake in an indestructible Tupperware container, bouncing off the counters, running on the walls, hanging off the ceiling, and even jumping out the window and climbing up the roof.

(sorry, this was way less acrobatic and crazy than I imagined)

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for the hundred thousandth time

okay so i’m beginning to believe i was born asleep and still haven’t woken up, or still caught in a day dream where my name is the answer to all your security questions. okay. a thousand years of wondering and all i can come up with is that you fell in love with me at a picnic in my imagination. the lemonade we always talk about swimming in sugar and tiny handmade sandwiches from my kitchen, your favorite, extra pickle. don’t forget about the pickles. of course the clouds march in stomping out the sunshine, of course. it was dark and there was lightning so much lightning. don’t be scared just now darling don’t be scared. in the middle of the night we only talk about your version of the story. how i’d ask you to stay, asking you to tell me what’s real asking you with my hands asking you with maps, a country called please listen to me, you should know by now that it is an island too far to sail to according to you. i know i know, who dared name an ocean lonely when all the ships are sinking. we can go back we can turn around where the sky is the gentlest shade lavender, we can go back and have a conversation that has never happened before. when everything is the color of day old bruises i won’t let you down. i promise when i get home i will count every freckle every one. when i get home can we open one of those mason jars full of fresh air because i can’t breathe. i remember that day, although i pretend it was more recent than it was. you were there in a swell of green grass in a dress that makes me blush, and there i was blushing. i’m not sure how i made it out alive, skipping the part in the song where you, long gone come busting through a doorway, through the well air conditioned living room and and across the kitchen tile, to the refrigerator where just like in elementary school, my fourth grade heart wrote all your favorite things on flash cards in the blackest magic marker so i could memorize the things that made you happiest. and you turning around in slow motion to see my face, or where my face should be, the only expression i can make anymore, realizing that you realized that i only ever wanted to be something that made you happy. suddenly you’re tired, and i’m tired too, goodnight goodnight, i’m falling asleep because it’s the only thing that doesn’t burn. i’m falling asleep to go back again. everything glitches and i’m underneath your perfect teeth. you say “I would never hurt you” and i say “just like that?” and the layer starts over again, always back to the moment i asked you in my bravest of voices if i could hold your hand. you probably don’t remember that moment, or maybe you do but don’t particularly share the same sentiment over its importance. you see, i’m always fine until the part where i have to say it out loud, and then time stops. i have always wanted to tell you that something happened inside me that night and now i’m not the same me as i was before. so if you ever cross a bridge. if you ever get my voicemail, if you need me, i’ll be sketching up the dramatic parts in my head and they’ll happen just the way i imagined just you wait you wait. the last scene the very last one, the bottom layer, knee deep in mud knee deep in i told you so, you say “i would never hurt you” and instead of saying “just like that” i reach up to kiss you and the room evaporates. so if you want lemonade and bedtime stories, if i can make a believer out of you, if you want bucketfuls of november if you want grace if you want the courage it takes to ask for grace, you’re over the train tracks you’re almost home you’re almost there. what else can you say besides “okay pumpkin okay sweetheart, in my head everything was beautiful, the doorway now filled with people who send you birthday cards saying welcome back welcome home we’ve missed you, hello. hello. the time spent waiting, chorus of rain, i only invited you over so we could make perfect sense. i only gave my hands away because you didn’t want them anymore. and days later a man with a shark tooth necklace asked if i was okay and i lost it i just lost it. all the little red bricks with their little names carved into them, how they don’t feel comfortable under your feet, how there were hundreds of flowers but somehow we took a picture of the same one the very same one, and how we can’t talk about things like that anymore, how i was sitting on a bench and i didn’t hear you call my name, shaking hands on accident with your parents hello sir hello mam, your daughter is my favorite ghost.

Okay, I have this TTC AU headcanon that Yami really likes that sandwich, but sometimes he craves for other things. So he’ll go to a student and trade sandwiches. Or he’ll give it to a broke student. 

For Yuugi, the times he visits, he gives away the sandwich since it makes a student happy and buys another one.

Both of them usually get the egg sandwich.

Sinful: Part 2 (M) (Final)

Vampire Jaebum

“Thousands gather this time of year, a time to mask the face most fear. The bloody grin stays hidden, stare into my eyes, the forbidden.“ - Peter Gundry

Category: Fantasy, smut

Length: 5.8K

Part 1

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