a message for trans guys starting T
starting T is exciting, and for the first few weeks/months you’ll be looking for changes EVERYWHERE, trying to measure how low your voice is going, how much your face is changing, etc.
But there will inevitably be a point (usually some time in your first year) where you will start feeling like nothing is happening; like you haven’t changed enough to where people notice, because your body shape hasn’t changed, you haven’t sprouted a full beard yet, your voice is still androgynous instead of manly, that T just isnt working for you.
And for that I have a little anecdote: I’m around 7 months on T, and I’ve noticed my voice drop, tiny changes in my face, and my peach fuzz has started getting longer. But because of the way my fat has not redistributed, I still get misgendered sometimes because I have a very distinct body type. So I started having those thoughts that I wasn’t changing and that no one was even noticing, and that maybe I was just unlucky and T wasn’t going to do much for me.
And then, something really cool happened - THREE separate people from my work, who only see me occasionally because they’re from different departments, approached me or stopped me to talk when they saw me. After determining that I was okay with talking about it, they each asked me if I was on hormones (a detail I didn’t share with a lot of people at work, but am comfortable with doing so if asked politely) and told me they had noticed because I changed so much since I started working there a year ago. They had noticed my voice dropping, that I looked different. One of them told me it was incredible how much had happened in just 7 months. And let me tell you, that was so amazing and uplifting for me to hear, and it totally changed my outlook on how I think about my transition.
The thing is, we live with ourselves every day. We scrutinize ourselves to measure just how much we are changing, but we miss so many things that happen because they’re so gradual that we don’t notice. But the people around us - they notice, they see and acknowledge that we are changing. I promise, things ARE happening. T is working for you. Sometimes it just takes stepping out of your own shoes to get a different perspective to see it.